Tender Deliration

by ghoulnova

Beneath the Surface Strain

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The rustling of the papers echoing outside of the office in the hallway The doctor busied himself with work, each document and paper he signed and approved seemed to contribute to his exhaustion, yet he pressed on with the determination of a diligent scientist. The very milieu of the lab seeped into his bones, blending with the weariness that clung to him like an indelible cutie mark.

He loved this feeling.

The flickering fluorescent lights cast a weary glow across the halls of the lab, their debilitated radiance barely sufficient to dispel the pervasive shadows. In the halls, doctors hurriedly darted past one another at breakneck speeds with a frenzy of lab coats and urgent hoofsteps as they guided their subjects to their predetermined destinations. Amidst the bedlam. A quiet, mannered stallion silently flipping through papers in his office, as his boss had requested.

He would do anything for his boss. Even sign annoying non-disclosure agreements.

It was almost unnerving how he relished working in the oppressive environment. After all, much could go wrong in such a rigid scientific setting. What if somepony dared to come up with something better than his inventions? Or worse, what if he couldn't make further progress…? The thoughts haunted him. He knew he shouldn't succumb to doubt, but. It was painful.

He was aware every move was meticulously monitored by those assigned to watch over the cameras. When he first arrived, it felt exhilarating to be observed, to know that every decision he made held significance and earned the approval of his boss. Another futile objective for accolades. However, over time, it evolved into a thrill, just to have someone observe him, to be in a place where he was on display with someone else always envying him. Someone else expected remarkable achievements. Someone wanted him to excel. Someone counted on his success…

He'd do anything for Larwesker.

Gullet realized his mind had begun to wander and quickly corrected himself while internally chastising his actions. After glancing around the room with a sense of ease, the oppressive silence seemed to amplify. It was too quiet and eerily atmospheric. As if the walls were closing in, the palpable stillness hung in the air like a heavy shroud.

Gradually lowering the stack of papers in front of him, Gullet questioned why he allowed such uncharacteristic thoughts to infiltrate his usually disciplined mind. The very essence of the lab, which had once been his sanctuary, suddenly felt like a stifling cage. The hum of machinery and the distant echoes of urgent footsteps had given way to an unsettling quietude, leaving him alone with the tumultuous turmoil within his mind.

The feeling persisted, intensifying as if no one were watching at all. The echo of hooves hitting the hallways outside vanished, replaced by an eerie hush that echoed the disquiet in his soul. The once-familiar surroundings suddenly seemed alien, and Gullet could not shake the gnawing sensation that something fundamental had changed. The air, thick and uncertain, hung heavily around him, and the shadows in the corners of the room seemed to dance in tandem with the disquiet within him.

He took a step back from his desk, eyes darting nervously around the room. Omnipresent surveillance, the constant gaze that defined his existence within the lab, was conspicuously absent. The sudden absence of watchful eyes left him with a disconcerting sense of vulnerability, a feeling that he had never experienced in the meticulously controlled environment of the laboratory.

As Gullet walked away from his desk, the silence echoed louder in his ears, and the solitude that enveloped him felt suffocating. The once-familiar routine unraveled, leaving him adrift in a sea of uncertainty. The hallowed halls, once bustling with purposeful activities, now seemed like a desolate maze. Each step resonated with an unsettling echo, emphasizing the void left by the absence of the usual symphony of scientific pursuits.

Amid the disquiet, Gullet could not escape the haunting question that lingered in the recesses of his mind: what had changed, and why did pervasive silence feel more deafening than the chaotic frenzy that had defined his daily existence? Why did he suddenly hate the quiet? What was different?

It was annoying, very, very annoying.

"Gullet, you look a little blue."

Gullet's ears perked and his tail twitched at the resonance of the stallion's voice. Almost instinctively, his head snapped to the side, confirming what he already knew. The other doctor stood uncomfortably close. The pegasus greeted the stallion with a beaming smile, an infectious grin that served to force a frown on his lips. "Still grappling with work-related stress, I see? I highly doubt Larwesker will be pleased if you're lagging behind on your tasks."

The scientist battled a sickening sensation in the pit of his stomach as the pegasus added to his already-growing annoyance.

Bolshoi.

Bolshoi Delicti—the second most successful scientist in the entire lab. The first, he insisted, was no other than himself. Even Gullet, a stallion of considerable intelligence, found himself befuddled by the enigma that was Bolshoi. Every encounter with Bolshoi placed a frown on Gullet’s face and caused his ears to pin to his head. There was no doubt about it: the doctor was trouble from head to hoof.

Gullet's lips parted to say an insult, but, glancing up at the camera, he reconsidered. "Do you need something, Bolshoi?" Gullet mumbled regretfully, wishing that he hadn't had to speak to the buffoon. The dry feeling of not having to talk for days rendered his voice a croak.

"Nothing really." The white stallion smiled and threw his hoof around Gullet's shoulder, and the impact rocked them back and forth. "Just wanted to say 'hello' to my favorite...." Bolshoi paused, "Pony..." His smile faded as the equine continued to stare intently at him. "Didn't think I'd see you so soon!" An unnerving grin spread across his face. It was fake, of course, and they both knew it. Gullet wanted Bolshoi out of his face.

Weeks ago, Gullet would have buckled beneath the gaze of Bolshoi, incorrectly considering him a higher authority.

In the present, however, the familiar sight pulled Gullet's lips into a lopsided frown. He rolled to the right with a sharp stroke of his head, planted his hooves back onto the ground, and turned his back to the annoying presence that pressed on and on incessantly.

However, that day in particular was different. Bolshoi had an... aura, one surprisingly ardent and gentle. Gone were erratic movements, the wild gestures that mirrored the grace of an untamed rat careening off walls. Instead, there was unusual patience in Bolshoi's demeanor, a calm that both bewildered and served to further irk Gullet. Bolshoi's eyes stirred disbelief and a simmering rage within the doctor. Was it a subtle form of mockery, or a statement spoken only through action? Gullet had no clue.

Gullet's thoughts were once again interrupted by the voice of the pegasus. "Perhaps you ought to be locked with the subjects in the cells. You appear somewhat... detached." Bolshoi accentuated his point by gracefully rotating his hoof above his head. A gesture clearly intended to annoy the doctor.

Gullet huffed, grinding his teeth and shifting uncomfortably, and preparing for verbal retaliation. But a sigh escaped him before the words came out of his mouth.. It would be a waste of breath.

"Larwesker is happy with my work no matter what I do," Gullet said, a statement more to himself than the pegasus. After all, it was true, right?

It didn't take long for the gawking pegasus to realize his companion didn’t intend to respond. He blinked twice, surprised.

"Seriously? Why would you even waste your thoughts on Larwesker anyway, he doesn't care what you do." The pegasus paused before continuing. "Larwesker only consumes the results, your progress is jack-shit to him."

The words stung. They cut like claws into his insides and dug deep enough to cause severe bleeding. Bolshoi could've been voicing the thoughts of every supervisor who passed judgment on him.

Gullet's jaw clenched with a vice-like grip, an intense surge of frustration coursing through him like a tempest. Bolshoi's words were not merely spoken, they were a toxic elixir, infiltrating the darkest corners of his mind to seed doubt. "How dare you," the scientist snapped. How could Bolshoi utter such words so audaciously? He seemed intent on unraveling the fabric of respect, which Gullet believed to be sacrosanct within the confines of their scientific community.

A peeved frown stretched across Gullet's muzzle as he glared at the other doctor. "He didn't make me do anything."

"My bad then, I know how much…" Bolshoi's gaze bore into Gullet. "...reverence you have for him." The pegasus shrugged dismissively, but the weight of his words hung heavily in the air. Gullet's eyes widened in response before turning his head, a silent acknowledgment of the undeniable truth Bolshoi had touched upon. The once-steadfast foundations of Gullet's allegiance and respect for his superiors shook under the weight of doubt.

"Is he saying the truth? No. He's just saying that to get under my skin."

"Whatever. I have no time for this.” The disapproving narrator in his mind intensified, the cracks that were now evident in the carefully constructed facade of professional respect. Larwesker counted on him, he knew it.

"It's not blasphemy, it's the truth." Bolshoi pushed, a sly grin playing on his face as he took steps closer.

As the pegasus stood mere inches away from Gullet’s face, his grin widened, revealing a satisfaction in having unsettled the scientist. Gullet's eyes flickered with a mixture of defiance and vulnerability, a silent admission that the foundations of his loyalty were shaken, if not shattered.

But just as the atmosphere seemed to settle, Gullet's restraint shattered. Anger, an emotion long suppressed, surged forth like a tidal wave. "How dare you question my loyalty!" He snapped, his voice echoing through the room. "Larwesker counts on me, unlike you. I'm the reason this lab is still running." Gullet seethed, the words dripping with resentment. His frustration with Bolshoi's insinuations boiled over, and he couldn't contain the surge of anger that coursed through him. He shoved the tip of his hoof against Bolshoi's chest to emphasize his anger. "Don't you ever say such a thing ever again. Especially to me," Gullet hissed, the weight of each word accentuated by the intensity of his gaze.

Bolshoi, recovering from the physical and verbal onslaught, attempted to regain his composure. The confident grin that had adorned his face moments prior faltered, replaced by a flicker of uncertainty. It was a rare sight, witnessing Bolshoi at a loss for words..

The heated moment lingered, the air thick with unresolved tension. Gullet's gaze bore into Bolshoi, a mix of defiance and stern warning etched across his features.

Gullet turned around and breathed, his shaking hooves glued to the ground as he forced himself to move forward. What was that pegasus even thinking? Bolshoi implied reverence was a bad thing…

... It wasn't, surely?


Author's Note

This is not the end!
I'm planning on writing several more chapters, introducing several more characters, and developing a writing style in the process. Just to see my characters grow as well as myself! :twilightsmile: