Creepy Joe Wants To Sniff Some Manes

by AndyHunter

Rating: mature
Tags: Lyra, Drama, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Fetish, Bon-Bon, Violence, Slice of Life, Human
Length: 1532

Joe Biden is transported to Equestria

Lyra is fascinated by humans of any kind—the green ones, the ones that come from the earth, the ones that are cartoons. But this specific one was the one she least expected to find—an old bastard addicted to chocolate ice cream. Could Lyra stand this guy?

This story was approved by Snoop Dogg, Danny Trejo and The joker.

Snoop Dogg: A nice story while you're smoking some weed.

Danny Trejo: Amazing story to read while I'm in a gangbang

The Joker: I read this story in my free time while I'm not fighting Batman.

Published 2024-01-03 13:50:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-01-03 13:50:00 UTC

The Mane Sniffer

It was a very beautiful afternoon in Ponyville; the sun was shining, and it was hotter than California.
And the birds sang the last song by Bad Bunny, Soy Peor. saying, "Sali jodio, la ultima vez que en alguien yo confie."

Lyra and Bon Bon were sitting in the park, enjoying this wonderful day.

"What a beautiful day, don't you think, Bon Bon?" Lyra asked enthusiastically.

Bon Bon was eating bubblegum calmly. "It really is Lyra; there is nothing that can ruin this wonderful day."

Lyra and Bon Bon were sitting on the same bench as always, Lyra sitting like a human and Bon Bon like a normal pony, enjoying the hot day, hotter than the mothers of the mane 6.

But suddenly, a generic portal began to come out of the sky; it is the device with which creatures from other dimensions and spaces travel and reach Equestria. But who will it be this time? Will it be Donald Trump? Johnny Knoxville? We won't know until Lyra or Bon Bon get their asses off those benches.

"What the fuck is that?" Bon Bon said when witnessing the portal that was nearby, a few kilometers from them.

"Have you forgotten? It's the way other creatures that don't belong to Equestria get here; I wonder who it is this time. I'll be more than grateful to welcome them." Lyra said while at the same time standing up, heading towards the portal, and Bon Bon followed her.

The strange figure revealed his appearance; he was lying on the ground when the white glow disappeared and his physique could be better appreciated, and it was none other than Joe Biden.

"My head, I think I ate too much ice cream..." Joe said while clutching his forehead in pain.

Bon Bon was confused to notice that he wasn't the green human with a question mark embedded in his face; he was the one who always used to visit Equestria. "Who is this old bastard?" Bon Bon wondered.

"It's Joe Biden... He was the guy Trump couldn't stop talking about when he came here, crying because he lost the election to Joe Biden," Lyra explained to Bon Bon.

"Hey there, my little ponies." Joe greeted politely.

"We are doomed, Bon Bon," Lyra said, discouraged and disturbed.

"Why? He's dangerous?" Bon Bon asked.

"No, but he is someone very strange; let's say he likes to smell hair and shows affection in a strange way," Lyra said with disgust.

"Really? I find it hard to believe what you just told me, smelling hair. I don't think anyone is strange enough to do something like that," Bon Bon said in disbelief.

"Well, he's smelling your mane," Lyra pointed with her hoof.

Joe Biden was sniffing Bon Bon's mane without her realizing it.

He ran his entire nose through Bon Bon's mane, sniffing every aspect of her blue and pink mane. "Mmmmm, you smell like the Strawberry Shortcake copybooks; I spent all day sniffing them; they smelled so good," Joe Biden said.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing, you fuckin' old geezer?" Bon Bon said staunchly, kicking Joe Biden in the face with her hind hooves, sending him flying.

When Joe Biden hit the ground, the place where the magic birds that fly around a character head were instead chocolate chips ice cream.

"I told you, Bon Bon, Joe is a freak; I honestly don't know what we will do with him," Lyra said with genuine concern.

"We could tell Twilight to send him back to earth; I couldn't stand another minute with him," Bon Bon said, enraged by how an old man put his nose in her mane.

"You're right, not even being so fond of humans, I thought the day would come when I would meet a weirdo like him, let's take him quickly"

Lyra and Bon Bon approached Joe Biden about taking him to Twilight. Joe had finally recovered from the blow that Bon Bon had given him and stood up.

"That was very rude, colorful pony; I was just smelling your mane... I just wanted to make sure I didn't have COVID and lose my sense of smell."

"Do you think I'm stupid? COVID was already eradicated years ago... Fucking senile fossil," Bon Bon said, furious and disgusted with Joe.

Joe Biden, in one of his attacks on dementia "What? Am I talking to a pony made of candy? Where am I? Who am I?"

"What?" Bon Bon said confused by Joe's comment.

"He had a dementia attack; it's very typical for Joe; that usually happens when he doesn't take his dementia pills," Lyra explained.

"Well, there's nothing we can do; let's take it. The quicker we finish this, the better."

"Hey Joe, how about I take you to an ice cream parlor? It's the best ice cream in the whole world, much better than the one on earth," Lyra said with a somewhat disturbed voice, while at the same time trying to pretend that she was cheerful and that Joe trusted her.

Joe was very excited by Lyra's comment. The old bastard needs his daily doses of ice cream; he wouldn't waste this unique opportunity. "Did you say ice cream? Better than the one on earth? Of course, I want ice cream! Colorful pony, ice cream is what I love most in this world, besides laundering money," Joe Biden said in a cheerful tone.

"My God... what an asshole," Bon Bon said.

"Follow me, Joe, and please don't sniff my mane; otherwise, I'll be forced to take action," Lyra warned.

Lyra, Bon Bon, and Sleepy Joe went together towards Twilight's castle, and while on the way, the other ponies moved away from Joe. They already knew his history as a hair sniffer, so clearly nopony would want to receive that special treatment from Joe.

"All these colorful hairs, I would like to smell them all," Joe said, expressing his fantasies without any shame. The colorful hairs of the ponies only increased his desire to smell them.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Bon Bon asked how someone with such creepy behavior could exist in such an important position.

"Every word that comes out of his mouth makes me want to vomit," Lyra said uncomfortably.

"Joe, if you say another word, I swear I'm going to knock you out right here and now. I don't give a damn if you're president; we're not in America; you have no power here," Bon Bon said furiously towards Joe.

"Don't be so aggressive, my dear ponies; if you don't want me to smell your manes, you can smell my hair if you want," Joe suggested.

Lyra and Bon Bon recoiled in disgust, but Bon Bon added, "Fuck no!"

Lyra, Bon Bon, and Joe continued their way to Twilight's castle. Joe couldn't help but sniff Lyra's mane. Bon Bon beat up Joe, leaving his face covered in bruises and his face the color of a grape, leaving him unconscious.

Lyra had to take him using her unicorn magic.

Lyra and Bon Bon finally arrived at Twilight's castle.

Twilight surprised them with the presence of a non-green human with a question mark on his face.

Lyra explained who Sleepy Joe was and why they want him to leave Equestria.

"So this is Sleepy Joe, a creepy old man that came from Earth who likes... well to do that, but I don't think it was necessary for you to hit him, Bon Bon," Twilight said, surprised and worried.

"Believe me, Twilight, it was. Thanks to him, now I will have traumas for the rest of my life. I'm not lying to you when I tell you that being close to him is like being in a cloud of poisonous gas that you want to get away from immediately," Bon Bon said.

"It's true, Twilight; I'm a fan of humans, but even I can't be close to him, even two meters. Send him to earth so that he continues to increase taxes and those human things that I don't understand." Lyra said urgently.

"Alright, girls, I think you're just exaggerating." Twilight used her spell on Joe Bide, who was lying on the table.

Joe Biden's eyes widened. "Oh, a purple pony; your hair reminds me of a blueberry Bubbaloo; can I sniff it?"

Twilight got scared. "AHHH! Get away from me my old fossil!" Twilight backed away.

Lyra punched Joe Biden in the nose with her hooves, sending him flying to the side of the room.

"Now, Twilight, cast the spell on him!" Bon Bon said.

Twilight, with her magic, launched a magic beam against Sleepy Joe to send him to earth so that this story would not have more chapters and the ponies would not have to suffer in the presence of Sleepy Joe.

Sleepy Joe was being transported back to his offices in the White House to continue stealing from citizens, laundering money, and doing shady deals with the Chinese—routine activities for a president.

"CHOCOLATE CHIP ICE CREEEAAAAAMMM," Joe yelled before being transported back to earth.

END

Author's Note

I wrote this story because I want to make the world a dumber place.