Meth Is Good For Financial Security.
It was a quiet, peaceful night in PonyVille. The sky was clear, and every star was visible, complemented by the full moon. Lyra stood outside of the newly completed Harmony Opera House. Its construction had just been finished the previous week, and it had just been opened to the public. It was a tall, brick building that bore a resemblance to that of an old town home, except much, much larger.
She closed her eyes as she took a long, deep breath of the smooth, nighttime air. She held it in for a few seconds, then slowly opened her eyes as she exhaled. She never realized how mesmerizing the stars were when their sparkling beauty was paired with Luna's moon at night. Combined with the faint glow it blanketed all of PonyVille with, it truly was a memorable sight.
"what a show", she said quietly to herself, smiling.
As she looked around her and noticed that all of the nearby shops were closed, Lyra guessed that it had to be sometime around nine O'clock. Normally, she wouldn't be out at an hour so late, but she had been gifted tickets to see the Royal Canterlot Symphony perform live in PonyVille. That was an opportunity she was not going to miss. The show had just come to a close about twenty minutes prior, and she was waiting outside for Bon Bon to finish a conversation she was having inside with a so-called "confectionary business partner".
As much as she liked eating the candy, Lyra was bored to death by the amount of business logistics that went into its production. She had decided to go outside and wait after around five minutes of hearing Bon Bon converse with some pegasus she didn't recognize about "market security" and other business-y sounding terms she had no clue about.
After about three minutes of waiting outside and admiring the stars, a voice caught her attention.
"Hey, you!", she heard it call out. The voice was coming from a nearby alleyway. She didn't recognize the voice, but it sounded like it belonged to some middle-aged stallion.
"..Me?", she replied in a questioning tone, moving her head in the direction she heard the voice from.
"Yes, you. come closer."
"Why?", Lyra's pitch had noticeably heightened.
"I've got an...offer... for you.", the voice replied, a little louder now.
"Well, Bon Bon's probably going to be a few more minutes anyway. I might as well listen to a sales pitch while I'm waiting.", Lyra said to herself, as she began to walk in the direction of the voice.
It crossed her mind that she might be about to get mugged, but her curiosity beat out her concern for her safety.
As she got closer, a nearby street lamp allowed her a clear view of the pony behind the mysterious voice. it came from a light gray unicorn stallion, whom Lyra noted looked to be in his mid to late thirties. He was wearing a long, black cloak; The kind it would be easy to hide something under.
As Lyra came face to face with him, he spoke.
"Ya wantin' to buy?", He asked, taking a step forward.
"Depends on what you're selling me."
"One hundred percent pure crystal.", he said, as he ignited his horn and pulled out a small baggie from under his cloak. In it, Lyra could see a collection of the Crystals he was referring to. They were light blue, mostly transparent, and each looked to be less than twenty millimeters in size.
"Highest quality you'll get 'round these parts. Fifteen grams, thirty bits."
"Is that... meth?", Lyra asked in response, narrowing her gaze at the baggie.
"Depends on who's askin'. But... between you and me, these ain't no display pieces."
"Oooooh! I've never tried meth before, this is gonna be so fun!", Lyra trotted in place excitedly as she spoke
"Let me get ya a little sample."
Still holding the baggie in his magic, he pulled out a small, glass pipe. He then opened up the baggie and after emptying a small amount of its contents into the end of the pipe, he held it directly in front of Lyra and motioned for her to take it. Lyra ignited her horn and took the pipe into her own magic.
"And... how does this thing work?", Lyra asked, letting out a light chuckle as she finished the last word.
She felt like using a pipe was something she should know how to do at this point in her life, but she was never really close to anypony who smoked, and she had no reason to start. Not because she was worried about the health risks; She had been through all of the anti-drug lectures in her school days, but she kind of ignored and slept through all of them.
She reasoned with her teachers that she lived in a world where ninety-nine percent of diseases could be cured with a potion anypony could throw together in less than a day. They never really had any rebuttal to that, so they ended up just letting her sleep in the corner and continuing the lectures without her.
Lyra had wanted to try narcotics for a long time, ever since she heard the ponies in her school who came in to represent "Former addicts" describing the high they felt on the drugs. Despite sleeping through the rest of the lectures, she paid attention to this part. It sounded like an amazing experience to her, and she saw no downsides.
The real reason though, that Lyra had never actively sought out the drugs, was simply because she had no clue where to even start to look for them. But now the opportunity had presented itself, and she was all for it.
The stallion spoke again.
"Light the end of it, then put the other end in your mouth and inhale."
Lyra made her best attempt at following his instructions. She set the pipe down in her right hoof, then using a basic flame spell she had learned in school, ignited the end of it. She then placed it into her mouth and took a long, deep breath in.
As soon as she inhaled, she felt the effects of the minuscule blue crystals. She felt a wave of relief wash over her, as if she had nothing in the world to worry about. She felt all of her senses had heightened. She could hear everything. She could see everything. She closed her eyes and let her breath out. It was like she was floating on a cloud. After about thirty seconds of bliss, she snapped back to reality. She opened her eyes and widened her gaze.
"Woooaahhh.", she said, passing the pipe back.
"So whaddya say? We got a deal?", The unknown stallion asked, holding the baggie containing the rest of the crystals slightly higher to emphasize it.
"Um, yeah!", Lyra replied enthusiastically, as she opened up her saddlebag and counted out thirty bits. She passed them off to the stallion, who then passed her the baggie and the pipe in return.
She opened up her saddlebag again and placed the baggie and the pipe neatly inside.
Lyra heard Bon Bon's voice call out from behind her.
"LYYRAAAA! LLYYYYYYRAAAAAAAA!"
The mysterious dealer of the crystals teleported away as soon as he heard Bon Bon's voice. It struck Lyra as a little strange, but she figured maybe he had just realized he was going to be late to a dinner reservation or something. She had been there.
Lyra turned around and happily trotted back over to where Bon Bon was standing.
"Were you just... standing alone over there?" Bon Bon asked.
"I wasn't alone. I was buying tiny crystals from this stallion who poofed away as soon as you called for me. I think he had a dinner reservation or something.", Lyra replied in a tone slightly elevated from her regular voice.
"Okay.....", Bon Bon replied, a little confused about what Lyra had just told her, but she was exhausted from their night out and was too tired to care.
The next morning, Lyra entered the kitchen to find Bon Bon sitting at the table. She had both her and Lyra's bags emptied onto the table and was counting every golden bit that was in them. Bon Bon was always meticulously keeping track of their finances to make sure that they knew how much money they had and where that money was going at all times. As she counted, she moved the bits into piles, so that she could tackle them individually, and in smaller sections. As she was beginning to count out her third pile, she paused.
"Lyra, what are these?". Bon Bon asked, staring at the small bag of crystals that she had just noticed were on the table next to one of her piles.
"Meth Crystals!", Lyra replied, as she took her seat at the table.
"YOU BOUGHT CRYSTAL METH!?"
Lyra tilted her head slightly and stared at her fiance Innocently.
"Is that bad?"
"Yes, that's bad! You can't just go out and buy meth!"
"Why not? They're pretty, and they make you feel all warm and fuzzy!"
Bon Bon's expression showed a mixture of frustration and concern.
"You already smoked it!?"
"Yep! It's good stuff, you should try it!", Lyra replied, taking out and lighting up the pipe that she had prepared before she went to bed the night before.
She had wanted to just smoke it that night right there in the bedroom, but she realized that igniting her horn to use her magic would probably wake Bon Bon up, so she opted to just set it aside for the morning.
Lyra, still clueless about why Bon Bon was so concerned that she was smoking meth, then once again put the end of the pipe in her mouth and inhaled. She felt the same blissful feeling wash over her, as she had felt the night before. Everything in the whole world that she had ever been worried about, gone. Just her and her cloud of bliss. Her relaxation was soon interrupted however, as she snapped back to reality and realized that Bon Bon was now inches from her face.
"LYRA WHAT THE FUCK!?"
"Come on, It's not like it's going to kill me.", Lyra replied nonchalantly.
Bon Bon's expression showed that she was clearly unamused.
"Lyra, that is exactly what it is going to do. I am throwing this shit away."
"Fiiiine.", Lyra replied. She didn't want this to turn into a fight.
Bon Bon walked over to their kitchen sink and opened the window that sat above it. Then, she moved to the baggie that
held Lyra's stash, and picked it up in her hooves.
"That too."
Lyra sighed as she gave the glass meth pipe to Bon Bon, who then tossed it out the window. Outside, they both heard the pipe shatter.
Bon Bon noticed the sad expression on Lyra's face. She went over and nuzzled up to her.
"This is for your own good Lyra. I did this because I love you."
She moved to be in front of her fiance and then used her hoof to tilt Lyra's head upward.
"You know that, right?"
Lyra put up a smile through sad eyes.
"I know. I love you too."
Bon Bon leaned in and kissed Lyra on her cheek. Then she ruffled her mane as she spoke again.
"Come on. Let's enjoy breakfast together. It'll make you feel better."
Bon Bon quickly cleared the table of her piles. She then brought out the breakfast she had prepared for her and Lyra to eat together.
As Bon Bon was setting down both of their plates, Lyra jumped up in her seat, resting with both of her front hooves on the table, her hind legs still supported, albeit a little shakily, by her chair.
"You know what. I don't need meth to be happy! I am going to make today a good day without doing narcotics!", she said, slamming her hooves down on the table.
She looked down and realized that she had smooshed the love heart pancake that had been set out for her.
"Oops.", she said as she resumed her sitting position.
Taking her seat across from Lyra, Bon Bon giggled in response.
As they both ate their meal, Lyra could not keep her mind off of the meth. She had agreed to throw it out because she wanted Bon Bon to be happy, but she could not stop thinking about it. She loved the way it made her feel when she smoked it. It was something she felt like she couldn't live without. She needed to find a way to get more. Bon Bon didn't need to know.
As Lyra got about halfway through eating her pancake, she heard Bon Bon get up from her seat.
"Okay, I'm headed out to work. I'll see you when I get home, Lyra.", Bon Bon said as she walked toward the door.
As she opened the door, she left Lyra with parting words of her affection.
"I love you, Lyra."
"I love you too, Bon Bon."
Bon Bon headed out the door.
Now that she was alone, Lyra realized that this was her chance. She needed to find a way to get her hooves on more methamphetamine. She just had to figure out how. With a newfound determination, She left the house to begin her search.
She was hoping she could find another pony to sell some to her, but after three hours of aimlessly wondering PonyVille, she realized she was going to need a different approach. As she stood outside of town hall, she had an idea. A grin came across her face. She had an idea.
"I can make my own!", She exclaimed.
After a moment, however, she quickly realized that she had no idea how to make meth.
"As soon as I figure out... How."
Lyra pondered for a moment, racking her brain to think of somepony who might know how to manufacture narcotics.
"Oh! Twilight's got thousands of books. Maybe one of them can help me!"
She excitedly trotted off toward the castle of friendship. On her way there she stopped in her tracks, seeing Bon Bon at a shop in the distance. She quickly hid underneath a table, realizing she was on the same road as Sugarcube Corner. Somewhere Bon Bon quite frequently did business with. She tried her best to keep perfectly still, hoping that Bon Bon wouldn't notice her and ask her what she was doing. As she was distracted watching her fiance off in the distance, she suddenly heard a familiar voice beside her, speaking in an obnoxiously loud whisper.
"Who's it?", Pinkie Pie said as she leaned in toward Lyra.
"AH!"
"Ah? That's a weird name for somepony to have. Although I did meet a pony in Canterlot once whose name was HiggleBurry. He was a riot! You should have seen him on open mic night, lemme tell ya!"
"Pinkie! What are you doing here!?", Lyra said in a whisper so loud she might as well of just said the words normally.
"I'm hiding with you, silly! Although you still haven't told me who's it."
"Who's it for what?"
"Hide n' seek! Isn't that what you're playing?"
"No!"
"Oh! Is it sardines? I'm great at that one! Although I did always wonder why the game was named after fish, and sardines out of all of them. Like, have you ever tried sardines? They are Terrible! Hooves down, the OPPOSITE of tasty. Like when somepo-"
Lyra didn't hear the rest of Pinkies rambling, as she quickly ran off to continue her way to the castle of friendship.
Arriving soon after, she nervously walked up the steps and raised a hoof, proceeding to knock on the door.
"Oh! Hi Lyra! I wasn't expecting company. What brings you here?", Twilight said as she opened the door.
"Heeyyyy... Twilight. I was wondering if you had any books detailing... narcotics? Crystal meth, specifically.", Lyra said, hoping that Twilight wouldn't read too much into what she needed it for.
"Narcotics? What for?", Twilight replied, eying Lyra quizzically.
"Uh...", Lyra racked her brain to come up with an excuse.
"Oh yeah! I'm writing a paper on uh, The history of the equestrian drug trade! Yeah, that's it! Despite the illegality of it all, the largest movers in the narcotics industry over the past century had some really interesting business strategies that I think we all could learn from."
"Oh, okay... Well, I do have some books detailing the history of the production of illicit substances, but I don't know if they'll be of any use to you.", Twilight said, still appearing confused.
"I'll take them! Lyra said excitedly.
"Alright. Give me a moment, I'll bring them out for you."
[br]
Lyra spent the rest of the day pouring over the books, trying to string together a recipe. After about four hours of piecing together entries from the different books, she had one. She stared down proudly at the paper she had written it on. At the top, written in bold letters, where the words "Not Lyra's Meth Recipe". The word "not" was underlined several times.
"Bon Bon will never know.", Lyra said to herself, smiling.
She put away the books and hid her recipe paper inside of her pillowcase. She then quickly hopped into her and Bon Bon's bed, and tucked herself in. By now it was around nine O'clock at night, and Bon Bon would be home any moment.
The next morning, rather than taking her usual leisurely pace, She raced to the table and quickly scarfed down her breakfast, barely taking the time to appreciate the love heart that Bon Bon had carefully crafted out of whipped cream and cherries.
"MMM! This is good!", She said, her mouth still half full.
"Wow, would you look at the time! You best be on your way now, I know you've got loads to do!", Lyra ushered Bon Bon toward the door.
"Lyra, I'm not finished eating ye-"
"Okay, Love you, BYE!", Lyra practically threw Bon Bon out of the door.
Bon Bon, although a bit dazed, headed off to start her work day.
Lyra got to work on her first batch. After spending a while collecting ingredients around town, she put the chemicals together in a pot and began to melt them together, using kitchen grease as a solvent. After a few hours, the mixture had crystalized, leaving her with her prize. 2 full pounds of pure methamphetamine.
Lyra used her magic to break a small piece off, then, realizing she didn't have anything to smoke it with, decided to just eat it. She figured that all she had to do was get it into her body, one way or another. It was quite bitter, but she got the high all the same.
She headed out the door, and set up shop on the street.
Bon Bon's eyes narrowed in confusion as she took in the sight in front of her. Lyra was sitting at their kitchen table, with a pile of glistening gold and jewels in front of her.
"Lyra... what's this?", She said, motioning to the table
"New business venture"
"New business venture?"
"Yup."
Author's Note
Had a bit of fun with this one! I know the ending could be better but I was getting kind of burnt out towards the end there. Anyway, this story was written for the purpose of being outlandish so don't take it too seriously lol.
