Merry Fucking Christmas

by Caladis

Rating: mature
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Sex, Death, Sweetie Belle, Cheerilee, Gore, Anon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Fetish, Tragedy, Horror, Profanity, Non-consensual, Violence, Diamond Tiara
Length: 9360

Anon celebrates his first Hearth's Warming in Equestria with his wife, Pinkie Pie. Things don't go according to plan.

A Fashionably Late 2023 Grimdark Christmas Story.

After arriving in Equestria through unknown means, Anon must start over with his life. Fortunately, Pinkie Pie is all too willing to help him to adjust. After 11 months, they are married and living together, and on Hearth's Warming Eve, they play a new game meant to expose their fetishes and better understand each other.

During an attempt to merge Hearth's Warming and Christmas traditions, things seemingly go horribly wrong on Hearth's Warming and Christmas morning as Anon struggles to understand exactly what's happening.

Published 2024-01-06 15:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2024-01-07 11:32:41 UTC

Chapter 1 - Hearth's Warming Eve

Anon had finished his Hearth’s Warming shopping. He had gotten a gift for each of his friends and several gifts for his wife, Pinkie Pie. Thinking about his wife always made him happy. He released a content sigh as he remembered how they met like it was yesterday…

* * *

11 months earlier

Anon had been driving to work and stopped for a cup of coffee and a bagel at Starbucks. He didn’t like using the drive-thru, so he opted to go inside. However, when he walked through the door, he found himself in Sugarcube Corner with a bright pink pony staring at him. Noping right out of there and trying to turn around to go back outside didn’t take him back to Earth, and only left him surrounded by a ton of other brightly colored ponies in a rustic small town with nothing resembling the car that he had been driving to allow him to escape in a timely fashion. Left with no choice but to move forward, he went back inside and walked up to the counter.

The bright pink pony smiled widely at him. “Hiya stranger. My name is Pinkie Pie. New in town?”

Anon nodded. “New in world, it appears. Err… My name is Anon. I, umm, wanted a large coffee and a bagel with cream cheese, but I’m sure the money I have on me won’t work here.”

Pinkie hummed in thought. “I’m sorry, Nonny. We don’t have any bagels, but I can give you a coffee and a cupcake. And I’ll do it free since your new in town and need a friend.”

Anon smiled weakly, as he didn’t like accepting charity, but gave in. Not wanting to trust the chairs to hold his weight, he simply stood by the counter and waited for his order.

Pinkie Pie was humming to herself while pouring the coffee and her tail was dancing back and forth in time to the tune she was humming in an unintentional tease. Anon shallowed hard as he caught a glimpse of the moist pink lips under her tail.

Ponies don’t wear panties… check.

Pinkie Pie turned around to face him and noticed that he was blushing. “Aww… did you see under my tail? That’s a bad boy, Nonny!”

In a panic, he tried to backpedal and deny it but a raised eyebrow from Pinkie stopped him. “Yes… I’m sorry. I swear that I wasn’t trying to see under your tail on purpose, but it was hard to not watch your tail move when it was moving in time to the tune you were humming. Should I turn myself into the local police for being a pervert?”

Pinkie laughed. “No, silly. I was just teasing you. Any colt older than five has seen under a mare’s tail… it’s usually his mother’s or a sister’s. Anyway… here’s your order!”

Anon accepted the coffee and cupcake with a nod, still unsure as to what to think about his predicament. He sipped the coffee and found it to be acceptable, even without cream or sugar. But once he bit into the cupcake, nirvana seemed to take over.

“Oh my god… this cupcake is divine! I could absolutely marry the pony that made this.”

Pinkie squee’d as she shot out of Sugarcube Corner like a… well, he had nothing to compare it to… so he guessed like Pinkie Pie.

She returned just as quickly, wearing a wedding dress and dragging a pony in tow that was apparently the mayor of the town. How she was able to defy the laws of physics and more than likely, the laws of magic, he’ll never know, and he chose not to question it, like anyone trying to keep their sanity might in this situation.

Mayor Mare spoke in a monotone. “Do you, Anon, take Pinkie Pie to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

Anon was dumbfounded. “Say what now?”

Mayor Mane looked up at him with indifference. “Marriage. Wedded Bliss. Holy Matrimony. One mare to fuck for the rest of your life. Take your pick, but pick. Do you, Anon, take Pinkie Pie to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

Stunned into a stupor, he still managed to nod. “I do…”

Mayor Mare turned to Pinkie Pie. “Do you, Pinkie Pie, take Anon to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

Pinkie squee’d again. “Oh, you betcha I do!”

Mayor Mare sighed. “As the power invested in me, I declare you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

Pinkie jumped up to his lips and kissed him passionately. He found himself kissing her back, even though his bestiality alarm was going off nonstop.

Mayor Mare turned to leave. “The weird ones always find the best men. And here I go, back to my lonely office, to clean up with Pinkie destroyed…”

Pinkie dropped back to the ground and smiled up at him. “Yay! We’re married! Let’s start making babies!”

Anon’s mind ground to a halt. “Umm. Will that even be possible?”

Pinkie’s grin grew absurdly big. “Of course, it’s possible. With magic, anything is possible!”

He had no retort to anything about magic, so he went along with it. “O…kay… so sex?”

Pinkie’s grin spanned her entire face. “Yep! To my room! Right there, up the stairs!”

Anon rubbed the back of his neck, nervously. “What if the customers hear us?”

Pinkie winked. “Well then, they get dinner and a show. Stop lollygagging!”

And that was how we ended up married.

* * *

Back to the Present

Anon chuckled at the memory but he remembered being very shy when confronting customers, mostly mares, afterwards, who were miffed about not being able to get cupcakes and hearing lots of sex from upstairs until Mrs. Cake took over the register. Mrs. Cake seemed to understand… she even winked at the new couple when they finally came back downstairs.

“What else could I do? Pinkie Pie is Pinkie Pie…” He said to himself.

That wasn’t a problem now that Anon had secured them a single-family dwelling that was a vast improvement over the attic room in Sugarcube Corner, and he was very excited about having their first ever Hearth’s Warming and Christmas together under their new roof. He had worked very hard at Barnyard Bargains this year, moving up from a lowly stocker to a full-fledged assistant manager.

Anon had a lot of experience as a warehouse worker and Filthy Rich seemed to like his human employee, although Spoiled Rich and Diamond Tiara didn’t. Maybe it had something to do with him taking Diamond’s eventual promotion in the nepotism of a family-owned business. Of course, Diamond Tiara would also eventually be his boss anyway when Filthy Rich retired. And… she would have no experience as a general manager unless Filthy made her an assistant manager also, even though they only needed one. That was going to be eventually horrible.

Maybe he should consider going into business for himself. Meh, who could say?

Anon saw Spike walking down the path and called out to him. “Hi Spike! Happy Hearth’s Warming Eve!”

Spike grinned. “Hi Anon! Happy Hearth’s Warming Eve to you! I got these for you!”

Anon groaned. “Ah, Spike. You didn’t have to buy me anything…”

Spike rubbed the back of his neck. “I didn’t buy anything… I found some delicious mushrooms while searching for gems in a cave. I know that Pinkie likes them, so I thought that I’d let you have them, do you want them?”

Anon nodded. “Of course, I’ll take them. And here is your present and Twilight’s present for Hearth’s Warming.”

Spike took the presents and shook his. “Can I open it now?”

Anon smiled. “If you want to…”

Spike tore away the wrapping paper to find a flawless topaz. Topaz may have been one of the cheaper gems, but it was still delicious.

He drooled as he shoved the whole thing into his mouth and ate it. “Thanks Anon… you’re the best!!!”

Anon chuckled as he walked away. Dragons will be Dragons.

Anon dropped off all of his other gifts to his other friends and returned home to a waiting wife. Pinkie Pie smiled at him. “Welcome home, Nonny. Did you get everything done?”

He nodded. “Yup. All the gifts were purchased and delivered, and all of these are for you, my love.”

Pinkie Pie’s eyes glossed over. “Aww. You’re so good to me. Happy Hearth’s Warming Eve, Nonny.”

He kissed her back. “Happy Hearth’s Warming Eve, Pinkie. What are our plans for tonight?”

Pinkie just smiled. “I’m going to cook something and then we’re going to play a game. Does that sound like fun?”

Anon nodded. “All of your games are fun. Oh, that reminds me. Spike gave me these mushrooms. Do you think you could use them in whatever you’re going to cook?”

Pinkie seemed to recognize the mushrooms. “Yepperoni, I bet I can make a killer pizza with these.”

He chuckled. “You’re a good cook. Make whatever you want with them.”

He settled down to read while the food was cooking and found that in no time at all, the pizza was done. He would have preferred meat on his pizza, but the veggie pizza was okay with the mushrooms, bell peppers, extra sauce, and extra cheese. At least it didn’t have hay.

He ended up eating half of the pizza, as if he couldn’t control his appetite, but he attributed that to all the hard work he had put in recently. Pinkie ended up eating the other half which went a long way to making him feel better about overeating.

Pinkie Pie brought Anon a bottle of Hard Apple Cider Ale and grinned at him. “So… are you ready to play our game?”

Anon nodded. “Of course, what is the game tonight?”

Pinkie’s grin seemed larger than normal. “We’re going to play a variation of 20 questions called ‘Skeletons in the Closet.’ There won’t be 20 questions, exactly, and all the questions will be sexual or otherwise ‘dark’ though. From what I’ve been told, it’s meant to push the limits of love, trust, and martial understanding. You don’t have to ask me any questions if you don’t want to, but I’m dying to get deeper into the human psyche. The most important part is to be honest. I want to understand the real you.”

Anon grinned. “Sounds like my type of game. I’ve always been honest with you, Pinkie, but this is the first time I’ve considered that you may not have been comfortable asking me all the questions you wanted to ask. What’s the first question?”

Pinkie put on a set of reading glasses that she didn’t need but fit with her personality for the game they were playing. “First question. If you had a choice, which of your female friends would you have sex with if you weren’t friend-zoned?”

Anon swallowed hard. “That question is not entirely fair. I got married to you less than 10 minutes after I arrived in this world and all my friends are also your friends. I can’t even begin to consider which mare I would cheat on you with. You’re perfect for me…”

Pinkie snorted. “If the question doesn’t make you uncomfortable, then it’s not pushing any limits! Come on, I wanna know. Which mare, other than me, would you dick down given any chance. You have full consent with this choice.”

Anon rubbed the back of his neck, burning with embarrassment. “Are there any rules to the answer?”

Pinkie considered the question and answered. “Yes. You can’t pick Celestia, Luna, Cadence, or Twilight, because as Princesses, they are unobtainable. Also, Mrs. Cake, Spoiled Rich, Matilda, and Sugar Belle are married, so that’s impossible. Fluttershy is with Discord, and I don’t want to think of what he would do to you if you even touched her so she’s off the table. Plus, Rainbow Dash, Apple Jack, Lyra Heartstrings, and Bonbon are lesbians so they wouldn’t take a stallion even if it was gift wrapped. You can have any other consenting mare in town but choose!”

Anon groaned at the question, even with the restrictions. “I guess I would pick Cheerilee. She has high standards, but I think I meet them. She’s smart, has similar coat colors to you, which helps, and likes children. If I had to pick any of the available mares in town, Cheerilee is the only logical choice left.”

Pinkie Pie seemed to take a note of the answer. “Do you have a counter question for me?”

Anon shrugged. “Same question in reverse. Which stallion would you allow to rut you, given half the chance? Given the extreme lack of stallions and the concept of herding… I’ll allow you to pick a married stallion, but you’d have to be willing to tell his wife that you’re fucking her husband.”

Pinkie considered the question. “Maybe Big Mac. I like the shy type and he definitely could get me off.”

Anon huffed. “As if I don’t?”

Pinkie backpedaled. “It’s not that you don’t… it’s just as a pure fantasy choice, he hits all the right buttons… and Sugar Belle is the least likely to kill me for offering myself to her husband.”

Anon nodded. “Fair enough.”

Pinkie wiped sweat off her brow. “Okay, second question, so which filly would you have sex with, given the opportunity? Unicorns come of age at 16, Pegasi at 17 and Earth Ponies at 18… so try to choose a filly under 16 to fit the question.”

Anon sputtered. “Really? Sex with an underaged filly is illegal without some kind of parental consent. How is that a legit question?”

Pinkie blew a raspberry and reminded him. “This is a game. A fantasy. The point is to reach into the deepest, darkest corners of your mind and make an impossible choice. I won’t judge you for it, I just want to know…”

Anon rubbed his face, not sure about trying to answer. “I guess Sweetie Belle. Rarity rubs me the wrong way, but Sweetie Belle is like the polar opposite of her sister. Sweetie Belle is the nicest of the town’s fillies and if I had to dick down any filly, it would be her. And for you, dear, which colt would you have sex with, given the opportunity?”

Pinkie considered the question. “Probably Button Mash. His mom already has sex with him so at least he’s not a virgin, though, that probably doesn’t help my case in picking him. He’s probably one of the few colts in town that wouldn’t turn me down if I made the offer and as you know… it’s easy for a mare to lift her tail.”

Anon pursed his lips. “I’ll allow it, but only because part of what makes a fantasy, ‘sexy’, is the barest possibility of it coming true. Next question?”

Pinkie smiled as she made a note of his answer. “Okay… same two questions, with a twist. Which mare and filly would you rape, given half a chance.”

Anon stilled while considering a response. “I’m not sure that I’m capable of raping any mare or filly. It’s a very awkward question for me to try to tackle. I’m guessing that you want me to try to answer it anyways since this is a ‘fantasy’, and it will never happen, and this is a game in a purely hypothetical sense?”

Pinkie nodded. “There has to be at least one mare that you want, that wouldn’t want you, that you would have to rape in you wanted to have sex with her. I’ll even take off the other previous restrictions for this one since the mare wouldn’t be willing.”

Anon shook his head. “No, no… rape is bad enough without raping a married mare. I don’t know… it was hard enough to pick a mare to have sex with, that wasn’t you, without having to rape her. This is a very odd game to play on Hearth’s Warming Eve… Hmm. Maybe Starlight Glimmer. I kinda like her but I also find her annoying. She would never willingly sleep with me though so rape would be the only way.”

Pinkie took the note and nudged him with her elbow. “And the filly?”

With a resigned sigh, he answered without fighting it. “Diamond Tiara. I respect my boss, but his daughter is a stuck-up little brat. I understand that she used to be worse before the crusaders got their cutie marks but it’s hard to imagine her being worse than what I’ve seen at work. She would also never willingly have sex with me so if I had to rape a filly, Diamond Tiara is the only one I could bring myself to do it to. She’s mad at me for taking her eventual promotion to Assistant Manager so that would make it sweeter. Same questions for you. Which Stallion and Colt would you rape… if it was possible to rape one. I’ve found that most stallions and colts are all too willing.”

Pinkie frowned. “Maybe Filthy Rich for not giving you a better raise. I would have to rape him in a painful way so that it’s not a reward, but it could be done. As for the colt… the only one that comes to mind is Pound Cake. He would probably be willing to have sex with me at some point, but at his age, he only has eyes for his twin sister so… it would be rape if it happened now-ish. However, even I would have to admit that I’d have to wait a few years to get anything out of it. He’s too young to really do anything with.”

Anon covered his eyes with his hands. “I can’t believe what I’ve admitted to, even as a hypothetical fantasy. I halfway feel like I should turn myself into the Royal Guard for Pre-Meditated Pervert-ism. Or Pre-Meditated Rape. Or for being a fillyphile. I’m not that bad of a guy, am I?”

Pinkie hugged him. “You’re doing great. Only a few more questions. Out of me and all my friends, which of our moms would you have sex with?”

Anon side-eyed Pinkie and took a long drag of ale. “All of your moms are married, and Applejack’s mom is dead.”

Pinkie’s grin grew wider with the taboo of the question, leaving Anon exasperated. “I guess Twilight Velvet. Since I have zero chance with Princess Twilight, by your rules, her mom would have to be close enough. I won’t entertain necromancy to get laid. My parents aren’t here so that’s a no-go. Which of your friends Dad’s would you have sex with?”

Pinkie hummed in thought. “Given the choices, I think I would fuck my own dad. He gave my mom four daughters so if he managed to accidently get me pregnant, that would be a huge win.”

Anon raised an eyebrow at her. “A huge win for who?”

Pinkie’s smile spanned her face. “A huge win for you! Do you think that I’m such a prude and insecure in our marriage that I won’t allow you to fuck our daughters? Incest in Wincest, and I hope her cute little filly pussy makes you happy. I would kill to watch you fuck her. Even better if you cum inside her. The thought of watching your warm baby-making seed ooze out of her gives me tingles.”

Anon took a long drag of ale and refused to comment. He really thought that incest was exclusively a unicorn problem…

Pinkie jotted his answers down and looked up. “This one might be a little harder to answer. If you had to kill a mare, any mare for any reason, who would you kill and why?”

Anon finished off the bottle of ale and Pinkie brought him another one. With a sigh, he considered his options. “I don’t hate anypony enough to kill them or even wish them harm, but since you’re not going to let this go and I have to make a choice, I guess I’d have to pick Derpy.”

That choice seemed to shock even Pinkie. “Why Derpy?”

He shrugged. “She’s always losing your party invitations in the mail. Humans had a law called the ‘Disability Act’ that required employers to give jobs to people with disabilities, but they were always non-critical jobs, like being a door greeter at a store. Delivering the mail is a very important job, and I kinda feel like Derpy should be doing something less critical. Derpy has wrecked town hall, she loses letters, she’s useless in weather control and does next to nothing during winter wrap up. Derpy is useless, period. I don’t even think she’d be worth fucking. So, I picked a mare that has to die. You asked the question.”

Pinkie took the note and got herself a bottle of ale. Maybe that was darker than even she was willing to accept. But she did ask the question.

Anon continued. “Which mare would you kill and why?”

Pinkie knew the question was coming. “I would kill any mare that you fucked that didn’t satisfy you. I know that concept of herding is weird for you and the rough human equivalent of an open marriage is a turn off for you, given that from your stories of your world, human women seemed to find hook ups easier than men, or would simply cheat. Well, Equestria is the exact opposite. I know that you still have bad days where you wish that you were back on Earth and if fucking other mares made you happy enough to be happy here, in this life, with me, I’d let you fuck them all. I’d even help you find willing mares if that’s what you wanted. But I’d kill all the ones that disappointed you because you deserve the best. The best mares. The best fillies. The best pussy no matter who it belonged to. The best of every mare.”

The silence following her confession was deafening. That answer had sounded less like a fantasy response and more like a of a statement of intentions. Would she really round up as many mares as he wanted and convince them to lift their tails? Would it hurt his marriage if he told her he was willing to try it… if only to make himself happier…

Anon took another long swig of ale and decided to change the subject. “What’s the next question? There aren’t enough stallions in the world to joke about killing one, so I guess that’s a moot point. The only logical question left would have to be which mare would I like to get pregnant? You! It’s always been you. We’ve been trying for months with no success. I’d kill Derpy and another pony besides that to be able to be a father. Oh, my bad. The point of the fantasy is to choose a pony other than you. Maybe the answer to that one is Flurry Heart. Maybe as a young, super fertile alicorn, she could carry my human seed to term. But she’s a princess and a filly and probably wouldn’t let me touch her so that’s breaking all the rules.”

Pinkie sighed but jotted down the information. “Yeah, raping a filly princess and impregnating her does break all the rules. Unfortunately, she’s too young to get pregnant… But hey! At least you got it off your chest.”

Anon snorted. “Yeah… as if I’d ever do any of this crap. I probably don’t tell you that I love you nearly enough, but you know that I do. I work hard at my job and still find time to attend all your parties that aren’t happening while I’m working. I got this house for us so we wouldn’t be stuck in the attic of Sugarcube Corner. We’ve been trying to expand our family with no success. I guess we need more magic.”

Pinkie nodded. “Hmm. Well. To answer the question that you didn’t ask… even if it is breaking my own rules, I will say that there is no stallion that I’ve ever met that I would allow to breed me. Even in the other cases of having sex with or raping other stallions, per the other previous questions, I would make them dismount before they finished. The only stallion I want to breed me is you… or maybe my father, but even then… my dad finishing inside would have to be an accident. I wouldn’t do it on purpose.”

Anon smiled a little as he took yet another long drag of ale. “That kinda makes me feel better but does it change anything? I’d love to start a family with you, even without the exotic tease of having daughters.”

Pinkie squee’d. “Well… I do some good news for you…”

Anon raised an eyebrow while taking a sip. “Yeah?”

Pinkie smiled. “I’m pregnant! And yes, it’s yours. We should have a foal, hopefully a daughter, sometime next summer.”

Anon spit out his ale and looked at Pinkie in shock. “REALLY! OH MY GOD! I’M SO HAPPY! This is the best Christmas gift ever!”

Anon hugged Pinkie tightly. He released her quickly and looked back at her in shock. “Should you be drinking ale while pregnant?”

Pinkie shrugged. “It’s a problem for Pegasi but not so much for Earth Ponies. I just got to keep it to one or less a day and drink extra water.”

Anon traced his gaze over her entire body, as if inspecting it. Pinkie pushed him away and rolled her eyes. “Nonny… I’m not made of glass now just because I’m pregnant. The game is done for today. Can we go outside and sing some songs?”

Anon smiled. “Sure. I’ll teach you the human Christmas version of ‘White Christmas’ and ‘Deck the Halls.’ It should be a fun night, but I want you to stay warm, okay?”

Pinkie kissed him warmly. “Of course, whatever makes you feel better.”

They went outside and sang some, Anon sang badly but he tried. They eventually went back inside the cozy warm house and Pinkie helped him into bed. He was sluggish from the pizza and the ale.

She kissed him on the forehead. “Good night Nonny. When you wake up, it’ll be Christmas and Hearth’s Warming morning.”

Anon smiled to himself as he dozed off.

After all, nothing ever went wrong on Christmas morning. Right?

Right…

Chapter 2 - Hearth's Warming Morning

Anon opened his eyes and took a deep breath, enjoying the smell of Christmas dinner already being cooked downstairs. The decision to mix their cultures’ traditions seemed to be a good idea… he just hoped Pinkie understood everything that he tried to explain. It was harder to explain concepts that didn’t have a local reference to compare it to.

He would have preferred to have awoken with Pinkie Pie by his side, but she was a busy mare and Hearth’s Warming was likely one of the biggest parties of the year, next to New Year’s Eve and the Summer Sun Celebration. Fortunately, Barnyard Bargains was closed today, so he’d have all day to spend with his wife and whatever she had planned. She was oddly reluctant to tell him her plans, as she didn’t want to spoil the surprise.

He got out of bed and put on a bathrobe. While he did tend to go nude or, ‘pony style’ as he called it, while in the privacy of his own home… he didn’t want to run the risk that Pinkie had friends or family over since it was Hearth’s Warming. His friends may not have minded him being nude, he did explain that for humans it was more intimate, if for no other reason than not having a sheath to hide his cock when it wasn’t being used, and he only really wanted his wife to see him naked. Maybe with yesterday’s game revealing Pinkie’s willingness to share him, that would change a little going forward… but not until he could warn his friends about the change of perspective and his willingness to try new things. He opened his bedroom door to join Pinkie downstairs… however, as he stepped in the hallway, he stopped short.

Hanging from the ceiling, were rows and rows of intestines and other parts of entrails, strung along like a holiday ribbon. Blood and gore oozed from the nail holes used to tack the entrails to the ceiling, giving the hallway a darker than normal feel. The smell of bowels overcame the smells of Christmas dinner and Anon had to work hard not to retch. He walked down the hallway slowly, so not to touch any of the entrails, to the stairs leading downwards.

Hard to believe all those entrails came from one animal… what where did they come from? And who put them there?

Once he got to the bottom of the stairs, Pinkie jumped up and kissed him. “Do you like the hallway decorations?”

Anon looked at her wide-eyed. “Umm. No? Where did you get intestines from?”

Pinkie pouted. “I killed Derpy and used her for the decorations, of course. You said that if you had to kill a mare that it would be her. It’s like the song! Deck the Halls with Bowels and Holly!”

Anon looked around the room horrified. “The lyrics are ‘Deck the Halls with boughs of holly!’ A bough of holly is a branch from a holly tree with the leaves and red berries intact. As I understand it, it used to be a New Year’s Tradition that got turned into a Christmas song and the holly branch is technically edible but holy shit! You killed Derpy to decorate the house?”

Pinkie nodded. “I guess I’ll have to do it again for New Year’s Eve if it’s more of New Year’s tradition. Are you ready for your presents, Nonny?”

Anon wanted to run away but he also kinda feared that if he did, Pinkie would chase him. And he knew he couldn’t outrun her. “Um. Sure… where are they?”

Pinkie smiled at his willingness to continue. His initial shock wasn’t what she was hoping for but certainly this would get better for him. She guided him to the far wall of the living room on the opposite side of the stairs and directed him to a new wall decoration, mounted at human hip level. As he examined it closely, he came to appreciate what he was looking at.

“Huh. That looks like a life-sized sex doll in the exact shape and color of Ms. Cheerilee. The tail is permanently flagged for easy access… I guess you picked the colors based off the game we played yesterday?”

Pinkie nodded. “Yep! Give it a try… I wanna see how well it works.”

Anon shrugged and opened the bath robe he had put on after he got up. He ran his hands around the ample flanks and pushed a finger into the tighter than expected pussy hole. He found himself quickly aroused by the life-like feel of the toy and was surprised by how moist the inside was. It was like the toy was alive.

He positioned himself and pushed in with a grunt. He gave it a few experimental thrusts and hummed in delight. The walls of the pussy closed around him and seemed to hug him, drawing him into the throes of pleasure. It was so moist that it felt real, and seemed to move with him, like it was meeting him in the passion of sex. The toy had to be magically enhanced if for no other reason than the fact the only thing he had ever felt that was better than what he was in, was Pinkie.

His tongue practically lolled out of his mouth while he was fucking the toy with almost as much passion as he did his wife. “This is the best sex toy I’ve ever seen, let alone had. Where did you get it form?”

Pinkie squee’d in delight that the gift was liked and explained. “Well, I wanted to get you Ms. Cheerilee for Christmas but the cockblocker declined to sleep with you. So, I did what made the most sense… I killed her, cut off her legs, cut her in half and had Twilight use her magic to turn the usable back half of the torso into a pussy and tailhole toy. Twilight’s magic will keep the pussy moist and will prevent it from rotting. So now you can fuck Cheerilee forever!”

Anon’s thrusts tapered off as his cock shriveled up and retreated. The blood drained from his face as he realized that he was fucking the pussy of a preserved corpse. A pony that he knew, liked, and respected.

Oh… MY… GOD!!! It feels real because it is real! AHHH!!!! I knew the entrails in the hallway came from at least two animals… or ponies, in this case. Fuck me! How can I be so rational while panicking! AHHH!

Keeping his outward appearance as calm as possible, he gave Pinkie a warm, but weak smile as he pulled out of the toy. “What an… err… thoughtful gift. I’m a little curious as to why Twilight helped with making it?”

Pinkie grinned in her typical manic way while having a blast. “Oh, she owes me a few favors.”

Anon’s eyes shifted around nervously, looking towards the room’s windows and front door. “Umm. Is that ‘toy’ moveable?”

Pinkie frowned. “Moveable? In what way? Interactive?”

Anon shook his head. “No, no… umm. I mean, it’s in the living room. Sex is more of a private thing for humans than it appears to be for ponies. I would be embarrassed to have guests over and them see the toy. I doubt you would want any stallions helping themselves to a turn on it. So, umm, yeah. It needs to be in the bedroom, or a bathroom that guests won’t use… or even just stored in a closet until it’s needed, used, and put back. I don’t want our friends to see it.”

Pinkie nodded. “For a second there, I thought you didn’t like it.” Her eyes seemed to bore into him in a very intense fashion and her voice sounded a little short.

Anon started to sweat a little. “Oh, um, no. I’m just very, very surprised. We can move it later… I don’t want it to ruin our day. Were there any more gifts?”

Pinkie’s grin grew manic again as she led him into the dining room. Filthy Rich and his daughter, Diamond Tiara were waiting for them, hog tied and gagged. Filthy’s eyes bulged out of his head when he saw Pinkie enter the room, but due to the gag, he couldn’t speak.

Pinkie turned to Anon. “This one was on both of our lists, but I have a bonus gift for you first. Here, watch.”

Pinkie leaned in and started to rub Filthy’s sheath, and when the cock emerged and was large enough, she deep throated him down her very capable throat, gaining full arousal of his cock despite his terror.

She pulled off him a moment later. “Now, Nonny. Take out your cock and compare it.”

Too afraid to say no, he did so. Pinkie kept rubbing Filthy’s cock to keep it hard and gave Anon a quick blowjob to get him back up equally hard. Satisfied with the results, she let both of them go and Anon got to his knees on the floor beside Filthy and at a similar angle, compared cock size.

Anon looked back up to Pinkie. “I can’t believe it. My cock is bigger than a ponies!”

Pinkie giggled in a playful way. “You’re twice the size of any of us, so proportionately speaking, of course you are. Now, if we were as big as Earth Horses that you described, yeah… I’d understand your concerns. But I’ve been telling you this whole time that your cock was as big or bigger… it’s just a different shape.”

Anon removed himself from the floor and stood back to watch what was next. Pinkie picked up Filthy and sat him in a chair at the dining room table, still hog tied, but she ungagged him.

Filthy was pleading. “Please Pinkie… I don’t know what I did to piss you off, but I’ll give you anything. Anon can have a raise. He can have my daughter… My Wife! Please, just let me go.”

Pinkie smiled in a way that a rational pony might see as insane. “We already have your daughter, so that’s not a valid offer…”

She stroked Filthy’s cock, keeping it aroused, and moved off to the side so that Diamond Tiara could watch. Diamond couldn’t seem to look away, but Anon couldn’t tell if that was because of how she was tied up or if she just liked watching a mare stroke her father. Looking down in between her hog-tied legs, her pussy was winking furiously in arousal, causing him to raise an eyebrow. Turning back to the action with his wife, at the apex of Filthy being about to cum… Pinkie seemed to draw a butcher knife out of thin air, like a sword, and she chopped off Filthy’s cock at the base of the sheath. He screamed in horror and Diamond squirmed in her binds, trying to get free.

Pinkie took the dismembered cock and sat down in a chair, spread her hind legs, and proceeded to fuck herself with Filthy’s cock while he cried in pain and Diamond looked on in abstract horror. Meanwhile, the look on Pinkie’s face was bliss as the length disappeared into her and back out again.

With a smile close to ecstasy, Pinkie looked up at Anon. “See Nonny? It’s possible to rape a stallion without it being pleasurable for him.”

Anon watched in horrified fascination as Pinkie stroked herself with the cock. He could see her pussy lips glisten with moisture as she became even more aroused by her actions. Her beautiful pink pussy winked around the cock, wanting more. Her own panting drove him wild has he could imagine himself fucking her like he had done so many times, bring her closer to completion. And finally, he saw the convulsion of pleasure while she came. This was the first time he had ever watched her pleasure herself, and he had to admit that it was a stunning sight. She was beautiful, even though she was now covered in blood.

Pinkie turned back to look at Filthy. “How do you like that?”

Filthy Rich’s head was lowered against his chest and he sat, unmoving. Pinkie sighed. “Aww… he didn’t get to watch the whole thing… he bled out too fast. Now… onto Diamond.”

Pinkie discarded the now deflated cock and picked Diamond Tiara up from off the floor and sat her down in a chair. She cut off the bindings and removed the gag. She looked down at Diamond with an expression that would chill you to the bone as surely as being outside in the snow naked.

Diamond Tiara was shaking like a leaf in the wind but didn’t try to scream or escape.

Pinkie smiled at the perceived compliance. “Now, listen up you stuck up little princess wanna-be. My husband is going to fuck the living daylights out of you, but if you satisfy him, I’ll let you live, you get me?”

Diamond nodded but also complained. “But… I’m a virgin… I didn’t want my first time to be with him.”

Pinkie giggled. “It’s not all bad. I like it and I’m sure it’s better than being dead, just ask daddy.”

Diamond turned to look at the bloody corpse of her father and swallowed hard. Pinkie backed off, allowing her to stand up, and Diamond did so, slowly, with careful movements so not to upset Pinkie and then turned to assess the room.

Diamond Tiara glanced over at Anon to see what he would say or do, and panicked slightly when he did nothing and said nothing. She had hoped that he might put a stop to this since Pinkie was acting crazy but she had no such luck. She then took in the height difference between them as she had to figure this out on her own. With a resigned sigh, Diamond hopped back up onto the chair that she had just been sitting in, turned to face the table, placed both hooves on the table and flagged her tail, exposing her light pink pussy lips to Anon.

This action brought her plot up to roughly the same height as the Cheerilee sex toy in the living room. It amazed and bothered Anon that Diamond seemed to know exactly what to do without instructions, however, he also wasn’t sure he wanted to say anything about it.

Anon looked over at Pinkie and she squee’d at him. “Go on, that pussy isn’t going to fuck itself. You have my permission, remember? And don’t forget to fill her up.”

Still a little unsure about the whole thing and really pushing every boundary passed the breaking point, Anon was still more afraid of telling Pinkie no than he was about raping a minor, virgin or not. Though, if he wasn’t lying to himself, her not being a virgin would be better for him because at least then he wouldn’t have to carry that guilt on top of everything else.

His eyes were drawn to her pussy and the flagged tail as he was trying to figure out how to approach this. Pinkie, for her part, was sitting in one of the opposite chairs with a clear view of the action, eating popcorn that she had randomly materialized from the kitchen. Diamond Tiara’s pussy winked at him, involuntarily showing interest and arousal. The subconscious act made by her body ground Anon’s mind to a halt.

What? She’s getting turned on by the thought of the lowly human raping her? That doesn’t seem possible…

Assessing Diamond from head to tail, he marveled that her pink coat was only a few shades lighter than Pinkie Pie’s coat and her mane reminded him very much of Princess Twilight’s mom, Twilight Velvet. Using his attraction to both of those other mares might allow him to do this. In his heart, he had to trust that his beloved wife would never hurt him, but her actions today went far beyond anything that he thought she was capable of.

Even so, he was able to push aside the revulsion of having fucked the corpse of a friend and the revulsion of claiming a filly’s virginity simply by mentally pretending that he was fucking either his wife or Twilight’s mom. He knew he couldn’t tell Pinkie about having to imagine that he was with a different pony because this entire thing was a playout of the stupid fantasy game from yesterday. He had to curse himself for ever saying that part of what makes a fantasy sexy is the possibility of it coming true. This was a god damned nightmare for him.

Anon closed the distance and found himself hard enough to try to start this evil process. In the back of his mind, he had to wonder if not being fully erect was actually better since he’d be able to push in without her pussy resisting his full length. The tip of his cock played at her entrance, gently teasing it, and he wasn’t trying to stall for time but given everything that he had done and seen today, he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to live with himself. He certainly didn’t want to spend the rest of his life in Tartarus or some other jail or dungeon.

With a solid thrust meant to gauge how pliable her pussy was to his advances, he found himself shocked when his cock popped right in. Holding both of her flanks with his hands, he thrust in several more times in quick succession, hoping to build himself up quickly. This wasn’t for Diamond Tiara’s benefit, and he didn’t care if she came from his actions. Pinkie wanted this to be about Anon, and it would probably convince Pinkie that it wasn’t consensual if Diamond didn’t get off from his quick actions.

Diamond’s pussy was tight, as was to be expected of a filly, but in its own way, looser than the Cheerilee sex toy in the living room had been. It still milked him and caressed him and made him want to do naughty things to her other than simply cum and get it over with, but he was honestly too freaked out to really enjoy his actions. With a final thrust, he filled her up just like Pinkie had wanted him to do. With a sad sigh, he dismounted her, and she let out a frustrated groan from not cumming herself.

Pinkie kissed Anon on the cheek and then sucked the pussy juice and cum off his cock. It didn’t take her long to clean him up and then she took a moment to admire the cum dipping out of the well-used filly pussy.

Pinkie’s eyes twinkled in excitement. “So… how was it?”

Anon rubbed the back of his neck. “It wasn’t… bad…-ish. But she clearly lied about being a virgin. We compared cocks, remember? I was the same size or slightly larger than her father. I’m guessing that Filthy beat me to her pussy because it should not have been that easy to get inside a virgin as young as her. I mean… she’s older than the CMC but still a filly even by the younger unicorn standards.”

Pinkie’s mirth died as surely as if Anon had killed it personally. She turned to Diamond Tiara with a snarl on her face. “You think you can lie to us? Whorse!”

Diamond was sobbing, the force of the crying causing the cum to leak out of her faster. “Please… Earth Ponies don’t do incest as much as those nasty unicorns do. My family is only rich because we have a successful business… most of Ponyville is Earth ponies and if they boycotted us over my dad’s actions, we’d be ruined. Even in death, I felt the need to keep the secret because it could still hurt my family. With daddy gone, I’m the general manager of Barnyard Bargains now. I can give Anon a huge raise, he can remain the Assistant manager directly under me, and I’ll let him fuck me as much as he wants as long as I get to live. Deal?”

Pinkie turned to Anon and he shrugged but responded. “You did promise to let her live if she satisfied me. I’m not dissatisfied, though I hope she does better next time. I am a little miffed about her calling unicorns’ nasty. Sweetie Belle is not nasty, and she is technically on the fantasy list too… just sayin.”

Pinkie nodded in understanding and turned back to Diamond. “Leave.”

Diamond lowered her tail and tucked it between her legs, hopped down from the chair and looked pointedly at the floor while trying to leave the room as quickly as possible without running for her life. Maybe she should have run for her life…

Once she was beside Pinkie, trying to slink past the angry mare, her head was bowed towards the floor in an executor’s pose, unintentionally. Pinkie simply brought the butcher knife down, cleaving Diamond’s head clear off her neck, and her body fell into a heap on the floor while the head rolled off to one side. It happened so fast that there wasn’t even a look of shock on her face… more like a look of some sort of plotting.

Anon raised his voice. “What was that for!”

Pinkie shrugged and cleaned off the knife. “She was going to turn us in. You can’t kid a kidder and you know what they say… ‘Snitches get stitches and bitches get stabbed.’ Anyways, now I can crave her up and Diamond and Filthy’s entrails can be the New Year’s Eve hallway decorations. Waste not, want not. Oh, do you want me to keep the hind end for a filly sized sex toy? Twilight still owes me a couple of favors.”

Anon was left gaping like a fish, not sure what to say when the buzzer in the kitchen went off. Pinkie jumped up and down place, clearly happy. “Oh! Christmas Dinner is done. Yay! Let’s eat. You can answer the question later, it’s not like she’s going anywhere.”

Anon followed her into the kitchen and she took all the food out of the ovens and off the stove. Putting the final touches on everything in a flash, in the way that only Pinkie could do, dinner was done.

She turned to smile at her husband. “I made all your favorites, but since I’m me, we’re going to start with dessert. The dining room is a mess, so we’ll eat in the living room. Go on, I’ll bring you a slice of pudding.”

Anon sat down on the couch and considered his life’s choices. Pinkie was quick to bring him his ‘pudding.’ He stared down at it and then up at her. “What is this?”

Pinkie giggled. “It’s blood pudding. I heard that it could restore your libido.”

Anon nodded dumbly and asked. “Yes… it can, but who’s blood did you use for it?”

Pinkie patted her stomach. “Mine, technically. The ale I drank last night caused a miscarriage; you were right about the risks… so I used our foal for the pudding. You should have all of her in your bowl. I won’t make you eat the whole thing but take at least one bite.”

Anon’s hands were shaking while he held the bowl and his fork. Looking closely into the bowl, he could make out the small signs of a very small foal. Using his fork to cut into the pudding, a milky blue eye opened up from inside the bowl and the foal started to scream.

“AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!”

* * *

“AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!”

Anon jumped out of bed, covered in sweat, and panting from a bad dream. Pinkie ran up the stairs and slammed through the door and hugged Anon. “Nonny? Are you okay?”

Anon looked into the eyes of his wife, clearly panicked. “Pinkie? What happened?”

Pinkie smiled sheepishly. “The mushrooms we used for the pizza are a hallucinogen. I’ve been eating them my whole life, so they don’t affect me much, but you, dear husband, were tripping balls…”

Anon sighed as he panted the last of his worries. “Oh God! A Bad Trip? Did I do anything weird?”

Pinkie smiled. “You dry humped a pink trashcan and tried to convince yourself that you didn’t want Cheerilee or Diamond Tiara to die… Don’t worry, it was so cold last night that no pony was outside to see you.”

Anon sobbed into her shoulders. “I’m so sorry… I’ve never done hard drugs of any kind so I didn’t know they would affect me like that.”

Pinkie kissed him and giggled. “I should have warned you, so it’s my fault. It’s okay. Everything is fine…”

Anon stared into her eyes. “Are you still pregnant or did I imagine that too?”

Pinkie kissed him again. “Of course, I’m still pregnant… and your Christmas presents are waiting downstairs. Come on.”

She took his hand and led him downstairs. He was relieved to not see entrails hanging from the ceiling. That was one bad trip…

When he got to the living room, he saw Cheerilee and Sweetie Belle waiting for him. Cheerilee was more or less naked like most ponies, but Sweetie Belle was wearing a weird red holiday ribbon that seemed to only cover her intimate parts.

He blushed. “Hiya ladies. Happy Hearth’s Warming. Did you have plans for today?”

Cheerilee smiled. “Our plans are your plans, Anon. We’re here for you, after all…”

He looked at Pinkie who smiled again. “My friends have a few events planned out around town, but I wanted to leave you with a gift that you could enjoy while I’m gone today. I expect you to take good care of them, okay?”

Anon stilled. “Take care of them how?”

Pinkie kissed him. “With cock, of course. I wish I could stay and watch, but duty calls. You have all day, so take your time.”

Anon looked back at the pair waiting for him. Sweetie Belle was now lying on the coffee table, legs spread, with the red ribbon wrapped around her teasing every possible emotion. She used a hoof to remove the ribbon from her pussy, exposing tight white lips and a soft pink core that matched the shade of the pink in her mane.

She smiled up at him innocently. “I’ve always wanted this. Please take me…”

Anon was so unsure about this. It was like his bad trip all over again, but worse because now it was really happening. “Are you both sure?”

Cheerilee sighed. “Marriage isn’t an option for most mares and herding is rarer than ponies think. When Pinkie asked me to consider this, I said yes with no hesitation. Big Mac was my last chance for a husband in this small town and he took a mare from outside of town into his family. I’ve been told that you’re on the fence about herding but it’s not like the open marriages of your world. We will belong to you, and it’s hard for a mare to cheat because there’s not a lot of stallions. I like you, and I can be faithful to you. Please take us…”

Anon looked back at Sweetie Belle. “You’re so young… how can you do this?”

Sweetie Belle stuck out her tongue. “All the colts in this town suck. I need a real stallion and I like you as much as you like me. So, fuck me already!”

Anon shook his head. “That’s illegal without parental consent…”

Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes. “I have it.”

Anon stilled again. “What?”

Sweetie Belle smiled. “I have consent. Here, see for yourself.”

Anon took a parchment and read it. “Sweetie Belle has consent to do whatever will piss off Rarity. Signed, Cookie Crumbles. This looks like something you wrote yourself… Is this real?”

Sweetie Belle smiled as her pussy started to wink. “Yeppers.”

Anon looked at Cheerilee. “I don’t suppose that as her teacher you would know if this were Sweetie Belle’s horn writing or her mother’s?”

Cheerilee smiled as she took the parchment and read it. “Yes, Anon. I can confirm that this was written by Sweetie’s mother. And don’t worry about doing both of us at the same time, no one will say anything. As her teacher, I need to guide her education, and we haven’t done sex-ed yet. Perhaps you’d like to help? I’ll need two volunteers from the class, tee-hee.”

Teacher roleplay was a huge turning point for Anon. Who could say no to that?

Anon looked back and forth between them. “Who should I start with?”

Cheerilee rubbed her chin in thought. “Start with Sweetie Belle. She should have a fast rebound time, so if you do her first, she’ll be ready for another round once you’re done with me.”

Anon’s eyes went wide with the implications of the suggestion and turned to ask Sweetie. “What do you want me to do? I will respect your boundaries…”

Sweetie smiled as her pussy started to wink faster, clearly needing him. “Push in a millimeter at a time and fuck me torturously slow. Tease every inch of my body while building me up in a super seductively slow way. I want to be screaming for release from the teasing and be forced to beg you to pound me by the time you fill me up. Please?”

Cheerilee hopped in place, very similar to what Anon had seen Pinkie do. “Oh, OH! I want that too… please?”

Anon sighed with contentment and kissed Pinkie on the cheek. “This is like the best Christmas present I’ve ever gotten. Merry Fucking Christmas, my love.”

Pinkie smiled, squee’d, and kissed him back. “And a Happy Fucking New Year…”

Author's Note

Comment below if you want a New Year's Eve based sequel.