Esquestria: The House of the Sun - A pony cultist experience

Your answer was... a nod. A grim nod. Indicating a deep understanding that Equestria is in danger, and that something must be done.
You do not yet know if what the Cult just did... if what you just participated in, was truly right or wrong. At least, not in the grand scheme of things. Because as horrifying as your actions might have been, that was also necessary for you to learn about an even greater danger.
However, you will keep a close eye on cult. You will be watchful for that line on the sand. If nothing else, so you can know when you are about to truly cross it.

Are you supposed to just continue to live normally? Are you supposed to just go back home, and start your day as if nothing had happened?

You step out into the streets, but you don't even bother being cautious or discrete about it. There is too much on your mind right now for you to care about anything at all.

This, all of this, has just been too overwhelming. From the moment you woke up today, it has just been one thing after the other. First of all you have these… memories about how you got to the cult meeting to begin with. You vaguely remember having a conversation with your Master, perhaps in the Woods during a dream, but after that you only recall images and sensations.

The feeling that your body was smaller than it should be, the idea that even the soft moonlight might have blinded you if you looked at it directly. Nothing that really makes sense.

And then there was the cult's gathering proper… and the ritual itself.

You saw through the eyes of Princess Luna. You were Princess Luna during certain parts of it. You felt her confusion at her sister's sudden proposal, even if it was within a dream. You experienced the incredibly deep bond that they share. You saw the world through her eyes and even felt her deep and honest happiness as if it had been your own… at least for the first few parts of the dream.

And of course, there was also what came next…

The alicorns, or at least the two royal sisters, seem to have come from somewhere else. From the "outside" as your Master sometimes calls it, or maybe you should refer to it as Nowhere. But they are not from here, regardless. And their actions, or perhaps the peace that they enforce, is causing something to grow within Equestria.

And this light, this music, whatever it might be called, is in turn attracting…

You shudder, the memory too recent and all too real for you to want to focus on it.

You felt what she felt, and after you left her body you continued to witness what she went through. It is impossible for you not to feel dazed at what happened. You are not sure if what you are feeling is empathy for the suffering of somepony you were for a short while, pity for what she suffered, shame over your own actions, or perhaps some sort of sympathetic fright, borne from the fact that during a few moments you thought that Princess Luna's agony was your own, even though you were already watching from far away.

Well, as far away as you were watching from you could still see clearly, and you could still hear.

You hope that one day you will forget that sound.

But what about it then? What can you possibly do about the things that you have just seen, the things that you have just learned? You are but a single pony, a mortal mare among the countless masses that inhabit Equestria. What can you do to stem the tides, to have some influence over powers whose scope seems to be the entire world, if not far, far more?

What can you possibly do to influence forces of such magnitude? Destroy the peace? Turn Equestria into a land of misery? Much as your Master insists that the world is not as it should be, that surely can't be the way. Equestria is still not a bad world… right?

You do not know. You have a sudden and chilling thought that, perhaps, that terrible fate you saw is the price to be paid for being allowed to feel happiness. As if the whole universe is wired in a way that no hope or joy can truly be experienced for free. This thought hits you like an icy breeze.

You do not know what to do. You are not sure if you know anything anymore.

But you are sure that you must do something, and if nopony else knows what that is, at least your Master seems to have an idea.

You are finally home and… you let out a tired sigh.

The front gate is locked, of course.

But being locked outside your own house is not the cause of your distress. Even though you are on this situation because something happened, and you have the vague memory of having jumped over the walls around your estate as you left late in the night, heavens know how.

No, what is causing your heart to weight is a simple, almost unrelated question.

"When did this start?"

You eye the keyhole of the heavy gate.

When did this, all of this, start happening?

When was the first time that you looked at a keyhole, much like this one, and started to think of it as a simple road or as a morning dream, instead of as the complicated piece of metal that it is?

You recall a few Knock secrets and focus your magic on your horn for a few moments. With a rapid succession of clicks the lock juts into an open position, its movement so effortless that you might as well have just used the real key you probably left back in your room.

When did you learn to do something like that? Or rather, the question is not when did you learn. But when did it become so obvious that doing something like this can be so simple?

You walk into the main hall of your house, although for some reason even having a roof over your head doesn't help you stop feeling that you might see something in the sky if you look up. Even though you know you will only see those things in the Dreamlands… you hope.

You go up the main stairs, towards the corridor that leads to your family's rooms, and the question strikes you again.

When was the last time, you can't help but wonder, that you walked up these stairs and actually produced any kind of noise that you could hear? You know that some of the wooden steps creak, even if only slightly, you have heard it from when the servants go up and down through it. But when was the last time that those specific spots weren't jarringly clear for you? When was the last time you did not avoid them almost out of instinct?

You open the door to your room, again soundlessly, and peek your head inside.

Your husband is still there, fast asleep and snoring lightly. He appears to be hugging your side of the bed, perhaps thinking you are still there. You try to smile at that, but not even that thought seems to summon any sort of happiness from you right now.

You go into your daughter's room instead, and sit down next to her bed. You try to gaze at her peaceful expression while she sleeps, perhaps that might help you put things into some sort of order or perspective.

But it does not help either. Every time you look at her, you wonder if she is dreaming. And every time you wonder if she is dreaming, you shudder at the thought that there might be something, at this exact moment, trying to force its way into her dreams.

To the balcony then. And if even the company of a book will not do, then perhaps solitude might be the only option left. At least for now.

At least until you sort out your own thoughts.

At least until you can answer the question that is haunting you. The question of...

"When will I ever again see the world as I used to?", you whisper to yourself as you close the balcony door behind you, locking with a flick of your magic.

You already know the answer, of course, but it still torments you all the same.

Up until now you had always seen going to the cult as some sort of hobby, a fancy that a bored noble mare would indulge in, in to forget about the less pleasant parts of her life. You always thought, even if only partially, that your Master's speeches about how the world is wrong were just semantics, a narrative that focused on certain aspects that certainly are pony-influenced, but nothing more.

But after what you have just seen? The world has never felt more wrong, like it is the mixture of several pieces that simply do not fit. Or perhaps you are the piece that no longer fits in it, so the discrepancies that were once subtle are now crystal clear from your crooked perspective.

For the whole day you think you are alone in these thoughts, alone in this point of view. For the whole day, as much as you feel your husband's worried gaze through the window of the balcony, and as much as you picture your daughter's scared expression as she spies at you, you feel you are alone in thinking that something is deeply wrong with… all of this. You think you are alone in this horrible realization.

Until the end of the day arrives and the sun does not set, as if to warn the whole world that nothing will ever be the same.

You have gained a scrap of EDGE Lore.

EDGE Lore is now level one.

You have gained a scrap of MOTH Lore.

MOTH Lore is now level three.

You have gained a scrap of KNOCK Lore.

KNOCK Lore is now level two.

You have gained a scrap of SECRET HISTORIES Lore.

SECRET HISTORIES is now level two.

…

WINTER Lore is now level two.

A full week passes, ever since that morning, before you reconvened.

The six of you are alone now, in the Woods. Your Master has just left after giving you the most basic of instructions.

He seemed dismissive, almost. Distracted. Although in all honesty there was not much to be discussed. Everypony already had a good idea of what needed to be done even before the reunion started.

There was only a single detail, of course, a specific task whose only uncertainty was to whom it would be trusted. But all else went somewhat as expected.

Windy Flakes is to finish establishing the new commercial front for the cult, and Starry Dancer must get in the know with the local merchants and bit-handlers in order to help him. Her task of trying to gain influence with the ponies who enforce the law has been aborted, since there is now an active investigation going on due to a murder. A crime of this gravity is already relatively rare in Ponyville, so her sudden presence and interest could very well be equated (correctly, somepony might add) to some sort of link to it.

Comet Feet has been ordered to continue furthering his understanding of Edge, and to lay low while at it. The Master was specific for him to get away from the town, although summoning him back if needed will not be a problem thanks to the very Woods in which you stand. Copper Secateur, on the other hand, must be more active. The mare has been asked both to attempt to interfere with the ongoing investigations, as well as to try to convert as many initiates as possible, taking advantage of the current ruckus on Canterlot.

And then he gave his final and most awaited instruction, although you cannot honestly say that you expected it to be given to the remaining two of you.

"Jade Whistle and Velvet Covers are to search for the fallen alicorn. Our next step would have been to reach for the Ritual Circle that allows for three Aspects, so that we might summon creatures from the Mansus to do our bidding. But this golden opportunity cannot be allowed to pass us by. Bend your every effort into it."

After saying his piece, the Master simply left, the wind accompanying him with a strange and soft sound that almost sounded like somepony mumbling under their own breath.

And the six of you were left alone.

"Well then ladies, if you will excuse me!" Windy Flakes says with a brilliant smile, turning to walk towards the darkness that surrounds you. Comet Feet leaves at the same time, but without saying a single word.

You, on the other hand, intent to stay and discuss your plans with Jade Whistle, but you can't help but see that the other two mares are still here. Much like you can't help but notice that one of them seems to be almost rooted on the spot where she has been sitting this whole time.

"Starry Dancer?" Copper finally takes the risk, addressing the mare that has been unusually quiet, "is there anything you would like to talk to us about?"

The pink pegasus seems to think for a moment, a nervous expression marring her usually cheerful face.

"Well… I know that Master seemed busy, so I didn't have the opportunity to ask him but… are any of you…?" she clearly hesitates, and mulls over her words for a little while longer, "…about the thirty two ponies who…?"

Copper had been vague enough so that she might be asking whether if Starry Dancer had any ploys she would like to discuss, but the more you learn about Starry the more you realize these social subtleties are not at all needed with her. She may have not even worded a proper question, but you all immediately understand what she means.

The same way you can all see that she is, somewhat, dreading what sort of reactions you might all have.

"Oh Starry, why didn't you just come out and say it?" Copper walks towards her, a calming smile on her face, "we all saw the same thing you saw," she says, and you can see that she means it.

"So you feel bad about it as well…?" Starry asks, slowly, as if somewhat not sure if she should.

"How could we not?" Copper's smile turns bitter, but she keeps it on her face regardless, "but you have to agree as well that it was…"

"In order to protect what is important, sometimes one must do questionable things," Jade Whistle interrupts, or rather complements, Copper Secateur, much to your surprise. She still has her usual expression, that neutral gaze that seems to be only slightly bored.

But this time, you actually feel something a bit deeper about her tone.

"But Windy seemed to have a smile on his face and…" Starry retorts, still downtrodden.

"Windy Flakes always has a smile on his face", you talk over Starry Dancer before she can even finish her sentence, trying your best to seem well humored about it as well.

You also try your best to make it sound like it was just the unicorn being himself, and not that he was acting amused specifically because of the particular thing you are talking about. Although you strongly suspect that was the case.

"But what we mean, Starry," Copper continues, "is that we… well, I think I can say we are all in this together. We have to, after all, you know we do."

It is clear that you are all just trying to cheer her up, to embolden her even if just a little. What all of you are saying is true, or at least you think everypony is being honest. But the weight of the things you are leaving unspoken is just too heavy for this to feel like anything more than bravado. You aren't actually addressing the subject, there isn't really anything that can be said, but the three of you are still here for her regardless.

And you hope this helps her, even if just a tiny little bit. You even dare say that you hope that this helps you too, as well.

You hope that knowing that you all feel the same, and are wordlessly promising to have each other's hinds, will help you focus a little more on what you have to do. That it will shed just a little more light on the whole situation.

"I… I think I understand… thank you," she says, with a lot less energy than usual, but still with a noticeable tone of honesty, even if only dejected honesty.

The answer that you three gave her was clearly not been the answer she had hoped for. But you know that anything else would have been either cold indifference… or the little lies that you would tell a filly to shield her from the truth. But all of you have witnessed the same things, there was no way you could even attempt to say those lies. They would have chocked in your throat even if you tried.

Knowledge is never kind, and the one you all just grasped is perhaps the most unkind that you have ever learned. But you truly hope that she will manage to harness it and work upon it, rather than be consumed by it.

Much like you hope you will be able to do that yourself.