This Love, This Hate

by Bullets_BloodSpatter

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad, Slice of Life
Length: 3485

Luna's Sisterly Love

At first, Luna did it for Celestia.

Then, Luna did it because of Celestia.

Published 2012-10-05 20:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-05 20:50:01 UTC

This Love

This love

When we were born, we were born without colour. Even our manes shimmered white. For the first eight years of our lives, we didn’t actually have names. Though, Celestia actually had a longer mane than me. That’s how they identified us. Long Mane and Short Mane.

For the first first eight years of our lives, they taught us everything. It was very nearly schooling twenty-four seven. Thankfully, our parents had other duties to tend to, and every once in a great while, their duties would cross and we would have a few hours of free time.

During that free time, we could be found running through the halls. Rarely could one find us apart. We were close, very close. We did everything together. Pranks, eating, romping around. Everything. If Celestia or I got into trouble, it wasn’t without the other.

Though, now that I reflect on it, I was closer to her than she was to me. My first course of action when having free time was to go and find my sister. Her first course of action might have been to find me, but it probably was to figure out what the antics of the day would be.

But I digress. The point of this little spiel is to show that we were close since birth. Through thick and thin, we stuck together. We did the same activities. We received the same education. We probably even ate the same things!

And then at the age of eight, we were asked to choose our path. Eventually, we would have to replace our parents as guardians of night and day. After all, no pony rules forever.

We both knew the importance of the day and of the night. We both knew which each one entailed. We both knew which one was glorified. Neither of us wouldn’t have minded the attention that came from being appointed Goddess of the Sun.

However, it was me that was lined up to take that title. Even though we did everything together, it was often me who helped her with the homework. It was me who had a better grasp on all the political talk. I was the obvious choice to be the ruler of the day. I could have been Princess Celestia.

But I loved my sister more than I loved the other ponies.

I did it for her.

My mastery of magic flourished while her understanding of empires expanded as me and my sister started taking up separate classes. As the future ruler of the day, her classes focused on politics and the mundane activities of the everyday. My classes focused on maintaining a certain balance with my talents.

Sure, I learned to master the art that is politics, and she received training in magic, but as the day was more active than the night, it was a necessity that she better understood the intricacies of running a nation. As for me, the night was calm, and had to be kept calm. I would do this through various spells.

She was a brilliant student, but also a bit divided. She enjoyed her freedom, and classes took away for that. It was relatively easy to catch her thinking about what she would do after class instead of focusing on her work.

It became bad. Her tendency to drift off into a daydream become more and more frequent. She came close to flunking her classes. The classes taught by our parents, the two teachers that had the ability to study as closely as necessary with us.

I could have, should have, taken her spot. I caught on fast to the lessons, and never forgot them. By the age of twelve, my parents would have felt comfortable letting me run both the night and day court under their supervision. By twenty, they felt safe letting me be in charge of either court without them being present.

It wouldn’t be until my sister was nearly thirty-five that they trusted her to run the day court. And even then, they worried and fretted, ready to jump in and fix any mistake she made.

She would never have gotten that far without me. At her final exam, she came to me for help. It started out like a normal study session, but quickly took a turn for the worse. I couldn’t get her to concentrate on any given subject for more than an hour. Finally, she asked me to just give her the answers.

I should have refused. I should have prepared myself to take both thrones for myself for the better of the kingdom. But I had progressed enough in my magical studies that I knew a powerful scrying spell, and she was persuasive. I gave her the answers along with all the work that she would need to show.

It would have been in the interest of Equestria for me to be the ruler of the day. But I loved my sister more than I loved the other ponies.

I did it for her.

By the time we were sixty, we were considered fully grown. Not just physically, but mentally as well. This meant two things. We were deemed ready to take full control of our duties and our parents could take their leave.

While they made it clear that they were sorry to go, we could sense their excitement. They had ruled for nearly five millennia. They were tired, oh so tired. So one day, we woke up and they were gone. Vanished without a trace.

Within a few hours, Princess Celestia was anointed goddess of the day. I followed soon after, being appointed as goddess of the night. We couldn’t have been happier.

For a while, everything progressed smoothly. Equestria did well in the world. Flourished even. With my help, Celestia managed to open up trade with the gryphon empire. She ended the feud between us and the changeling lands.

And for the time, I was content to sit behind the scenes and work in the background. I loved my sister so much that I always got her input before I acted, but I also did my part in making sure that she didn’t trip up.

Then, the one day I couldn’t be with her against my wishes, she made a fatal choice. She looked to expand Equestria as an empire instead of a nation. She declared war on the northern pony tribes.

She did it for resources. Had I been there, I could have averted the war. I could have prodded her in the right direction, making a trade agreement that satisfied both sides. But I was dealing with a disruption in the moon cycle at the time.

I got back just as she signed the declaration of war. She looked up at me just as I entered the room and asked me to lead the armies. Thus, I added High General Luna to the list of titles I would eventually expand.

But I could have acted differently. I could have used my powers as Princess Celestia’s equal to avert this war. I could have forced her to step down from the throne for a rest period. I could have taken up the rule of both the night and day. In fact, it would have been in the interest of Equestria if I had.

But I didn’t. I loved my sister more than I loved the other ponies.

I did it for her.

Even though we are goddesses, we still feel some of the desires of mortals. Though as ruler of the night, I had learned something. I had learned temperance. That is, I learned to suppress those desires. There would be a time and a place for romance, but now was not it.

My sister on the other hoof never had the time to learn those traits. Her life was work, work, work. It was stressful. I understand why she had done it. Perhaps if I had been her, I would have eventually broken down and done it.

But one night, she came to me sobbing. She was confused and scared. In a lapse of judgement, one I should have foreseen, she had taken a political lover. Of course, he had disappeared soon afterwards, taking his reward for that night and fleeing to the feral northern tribes as we were once again friendly with them, the war having happened two hundred years previously.

Now her body was acting strangely. She suffered from cravings, and she had never had them before. She felt as if she were getting fatter. She would wake up and spend the first few hours puking.

I suspect she knew she was pregnant, but she didn’t want to believe it. She didn’t want it to be true so much that she convinced herself that it wasn’t. But I knew the truth, and I faced it, ready to take on the challenges it would provide.

Through the use of magic, we managed to hide it from the population. If they caught on to what was happening, there would have been an uproar. They would have demanded that I wrest the throne from the “whore princess.” It would have shattered their perception of the ruling body.

Though, she nearly shattered it without the help of a scandal. As the foal came closer to being delivered, she became erratic. She had lapses of judgement. She snapped at the nobels for the slightest things. Her popularity slowly declined, and by association, so did mine.

I could have stepped up and taken the throne from her. It would have been in the better interest for Equestria. But I supported her, trying my best to guide her through her pregnancy. I thought that maybe with my help, she could fix the mess she had created and remain happy.

I probably couldn’t. I should have told her to take a leave of absence. But I loved her more than I loved the other ponies.

I did it for her.

Several months later, she gave birth to a healthy foal, a male unicorn. As she fell asleep after the delivery, she made one thing clear. The foal would not leave the family. She refused to pass him off to a caretaker as she should have.

We both knew the dangers. We both knew that the other ponies would question where the bastard child had come from. Celestia would have to admit her folly. From that would erupt a massive scandal. Big enough that it could remove her from the throne.

Later, after she had woken up, she confessed this fear to me. She told me how she couldn’t bear the consequences. She begged my help. That’s how bad she wanted to keep her position as goddess of the sun.

I reluctantly agreed. How could I say no? I loved my sister so much that I wanted nothing more than to see her remain happy. I already had ensured her ascendance to the preferred throne. I had cheated her way into ruling for her. I had led her army against the northern tribes for the sake of resources we didn’t need. I covered up her pregnancy for her. What was one more thing?

I designed a plan that would ensure she could keep her throne and honor her promise to keep the foal in the family. I took the foal as my own.

When the public discovered the foal, I claimed it was mine. I told everypony that I had slipped up and entertained a lover for the night. I told them all that the child was a bastard child and I had no intention of giving it to a caretaker as I should have.

The outcry was just as bad as I had feared. They screamed for my head because of my mistake. Having a foal outside of marriage was against every moral held by society. In their eyes, I couldn’t have sunk any lower. And by the higher law, even I wasn’t immune.

I could have confessed. I had ample evidence. I had even located the father. If I had, I would have been given rule over both the night and day. And in my heart, I knew I should have. Both Celestia and I knew she was not ready to take charge of the night. Her sole focus for so many years had been the day. She no longer remembered everything she had been taught about the night.

But I loved my her more than I loved the other ponies.

I did it for her.

Shortly after the scandal, I was forced to flee into exile with the foal. If I hadn’t, the common ponies would have eventually gotten their way. I would have been beheaded along with the foal. Instead, I found myself far to the north. So far that even the northern tribe ponies didn’t dare come to try and find me.

For twenty years, the foal, whom I named Starswirl, and I lived in solitude. We vowed no contact with anypony until the scandal had passed. What we needed, I could use my magic to obtain. By no means were we in poverty. But we were alone.

During this time, I taught him everything I knew. But like his mother, he had trouble focusing one thing for more than an hour at a time. Except magic. He mastered some of the finer intricacies quickly. And with my help, he managed to stick with his learnings.

Eventually, he managed to overcome his tendency to lose interest in a subject after an hour. But only if we could work magic into the lesson somehow. And oh how we worked to make this a reality.

Twenty years into the exile, he grew to be nearly as powerful as me. Or as close to my power as he could.

Twenty years into the exile, we felt it was safe to move in with the northern tribe ponies. So we did. They quickly accepted us, but gave us space when we asked. There, I found a pony I loved. Over the next two years, I entertained this pony and eventually married him.

During this time, I still taught Starswirl. However, he quickly separated himself from me, focusing instead on his theories. He took notes, and eventually wrote books on his research into magic. They would later be recognized by modern society as great works that defined the world.

I felt happy for him, but not as happy as I could have been, I fear. My love interest slowly took over my life, and through him, I had a single foal. Another alicorn who would later become Princess Cadance.

Soon after her birth, my lover died. Torn by grief, I took my small family and moved back to the one place where I knew safety and love. Back in with my sister.

Upon moving back with her, I found a broken princess. Her desire for a family was strong. Yet, she found herself unable to have any more foals. She had taken a lover and married him. Together, they had tried so many times, and failed each time.

As a consequence, Equestria was feeling the pain as well. The economy was lower than ever. The moral was sinking. Other nations were lining up to take over once everything collapsed.

I could have taken the throne. I could have cast her aside and returned Equestria to her former glory. But I didn’t. I wanted nothing more than to see my sister happy.

Cadance was young still a foal. Not even a year old. I sat up for three whole days and nights pondering her. Finally, I decided. I had raised Starswirl as my own, and he had brought me joy enough.

So, I took the logical course of action. I gave Celestia care of my foal. She was delighted and accepted immediately. She cared for Cadance like I had never seen her care for a single pony.

I was a bit sad at first, but then I remembered just how much I loved Celestia. And I saw how happy she was, so I was happy. I could keep eyes on Cadance anyways. I’d still have a role in her life.

As a result, I missed my chance to grab the throne, which would have done more good than harm for Equestria. I was still in touch with my political self and could have easily brought Equestria to its previous glory.

Instead, with a little prodding, Celestia raised the nation back up. She got the credit, and once again received all the credit. Albeit, she did it a bit slower than I could have done it, she still got it done.

We could have been so much further along in the world if I had taken control of the throne. But I loved her more than I loved the other ponies.

I did it for her.

I got my position as ruler of the night back. Though, in the twenty years I had been gone, Celestia had learned to control the night and found that she liked it. She was reluctant to give it up.

For the first time, we had an argument beyond those childish arguments all those years ago siblings tend to have. Even with my foal to raise as her own, and the joy it brought, I could still see her wearing herself out. By my sacrifice I had only delayed an inevitable fall if she continued to rule both the day and night.

I finally convinced her to pass over the rule to me. And for a while, I was content to just do my job as it had been previously.

But after twenty years, the commoners had grown used to bowing to my sister. They had all but forgotten about me. Thus, even when I took my rule back, they still worshipped her. They seemed to do no more than acknowledge my existence. They viewed me as a placeholder while their beloved Princess Celestia took a minor break.

I realized that deep down, this bit at me. But for the time being, I managed to surpress it for her sake. I grinned and waved just as I had been taught to do. I knew, or rather hoped, that I would soon get my reward.

And my chance came with the arrival of Discord. Slowly, over many years he gained power, yet my sister did nothing. I loved her so much that against my better judgement, I was content to voice my opinion and nothing more.

Finally, he had to be dealt with. In a stroke of brilliance brought on by Starswirl, I created the Elements of Harmony with the help of my sister. Using them, we brought Discord to his knees and then encased him in stone. His reign of terror over almost as soon as it began.

The commoners were ever grateful for it. Of course, they praised the sun goddess, leaving me in the background. I didn’t like it, but I let it slide.

I did it for her.

Then came the final moments of my rule of the night. After the defeat of Discord and the glorification of my sister, I could take it no more. Part of me snapped. I grew jealous. I shunned my family, sister, my everything. I focused on one thing, forcing the love and respect of my ponies.

I often quarreled with my sister over laws, trying to sway them so that they would earn me respect and love. Though, deep down, I knew this wasn’t the way. But on the surface, I had been denied the recognition I deserved and it clouded my judgement.

I try not to relive those days, and I’ve grown accustomed to just skipping to the end result. No pony likes to relive their greatest shame.

Eventually, my sister was forced into action without my prodding. It was probably the beginning of a new Celestia. One that truly knew how to rule. One that realized that she would have to do this alone.

We had a fight that was bad enough that she determined I had to be banished until I could cool down. But we both knew she couldn’t do it. We both knew who was more powerful. We both knew I would triumph.

But then, I remembered a distant love for her. One I hadn’t felt in many years. One I hadn’t felt since letting my jealousy get the better of me.

I could have taken Equestria for myself. I could have ignored that love. But I didn’t. In a single instant, I managed to transfer my half of the Elements of Harmony to her. With them, her power grew and she fought with renewed strength, eventually defeating me.

The price was a thousand years exile on the moon.

But I did it for her.