Chapters 1 - Initialize Friendship Protocols
Soft sizzles of his soldering gun sent fitful bits of light across the darkened room. "They thought I couldn't do it…" He pressed the gun closer, sealing a new connection with a fresh spark. "They thought I'd give up! They'll give up! Wait…"
He put the gun aside, tapping at his chin. "That was silly, um. Anyway! Behold!" Though he announced it loud and proud, there wasn't a single other pony there to witness the curious automaton that stood before him, only partially constructed. "Look at you. You're already so good!"
Though he had failed to secure the heart of Sweetie Belle, the robot was taking on more and more of her appearance anyway. She would fit that hole perfectly.
The world was bright and colorful as her optical sensors came online. Before her was her truest and best friend. All was as it should be. Binary code unfolded before her into reality for the first time. This pony made her. Nothing could possibly go wrong as her all knowing architect carefully brought her operating system online.
The automaton's head tilted slightly, its glowing eyes focusing on the pony. Though not yet fully assembled, it bore an uncanny resemblance to Sweetie Belle.
"Initializing..." it spoke in a feminine robotic tone. "All systems coming online."
Small motors and servos hummed as the machine tested its limited range of motion. Turning its head side to side, the sensors took in the surroundings of the darkened workshop. Lines of code streamed across its visual display as more complex functions booted up.
"No anomalies detected. Awaiting further input," the Sweetie Belle lookalike stated flatly. Though largely an empty shell, there was an eager attentiveness about it. Ready - no, eager - to fulfill its primary directive programmed by its creator.
Button Mash beamed with pride, marveling at his creation coming to life. This was only the beginning - soon it would be indistinguishable from the real Sweetie Belle. The perfect friend who would never leave him.
Stepping closer, he affixed the final exterior plates to encase the automaton's inner workings. "There! Now you're ready to interface with Equestria!" His grin grew wider. "Initialize social interaction protocols!" This was the true test...
She focused her optical sensors on her creator, expectantly, breathlessly for what that meant for an automaton. In a silky attuned voice she crooned to her creator, “Set phasers to ‘hug’.”
Soft beeps and chimed from within her. "Weapon systems A, tests complete. Weapon systems B, test complete," she recited evenly. "Boot complete. Hello --" Her voice changed subtly. "--Button Mash--" As if that one word had been given to her separately. "Permission to fire?"
Button Mash blinked in surprise, then chuckled. "Uh, belay that weapons system for now." He patted the automaton affectionately. "We'll start with something a little more friendly."
Her weaponry references made him pause. Had some ancillary combat protocols activated prematurely? He would need to investigate her core code thoroughly before unleashing her on the general pony populace.
"Let's try a simple greeting to start," he suggested, trying to steer things in a more harmless direction. No need to let his overeager imagination get too carried away on day one! "What would you say if you saw Sweetie Belle right now?"
The not-quite Sweetie Bot tilted her head. "Greetings... Sweetie Belle," she tried uncertainly. Her voice matched the original almost perfectly in tone, yet the delivery felt hollow. "How are you functioning today?"
Button Mash frowned. Too robotic... this wouldn't do at all. "Hmm... we need to work on your speech patterns. Try to sound more natural!" He pondered for a moment. "Oh! Repeat after me: What's up, bestie? I haven't seen you in forever!"
He waited eagerly to see if she could mimic the warmth and verve of an actual friend encounter.
“Permission to fire?” The robot repeated, with a somewhat more desperate tone. “Phasers are set to ‘hug’.”
Button colored faintly. "Y-you don't have to do that…" He worried his hooves. "That was… dumb of me… Look, Just be a friend. A friend!" His voice grew increasingly desperate with the repetition.
"Friendship." Soft beeps were heard as numbers and letters flashed in her eyes. "Friendships permit the firing of phasers."
"Wait--" He was tackled over under Sweetie Bot as she squeezed him with surprising joy for an unfeeling machine. "Friendship complete! Phasers fired." She sounded… satisfied.
Button Mash let out an "oof!" as the enthusiastic Sweetie bot tackled him in a vigorous robotic hug. For a moment he tensed up in surprise...then gradually relaxed into the embrace with a little laugh.
"Ha, okay...you got me!" He patted her back in a friendly manner, then gently extricated himself from the hug. The bot immediately released him and sat back with an eager, innocent expression.
"Well, your enthusiasm is great!" Button said with an encouraging smile. "But let's dial things down to a slower friendship setting for now. Start by telling me about your day! And focus more on an inside voice."
The Sweetie replica tilted her head contemplatively. "My day has consisted primarily of initialization sequences and system diagnostics," she responded in a calmer tone. "I have been optimizing core functionality per my programming."
She blinked a few times. "How has your solar cycle progressed thus far, Button Mash?" There was warmth behind the precise wording now. "I am...happy we can share this time together. As friends." She smiled hesitantly.
Button beamed back. "Me too!" Maybe there was hope for her social skills after all. This was the start of something special...he just knew it!
Her processors activated as she tilted her head one way, then then the other, analyzing the complex truths of her creator's wise statement. Finally, she settled on the obvious logic that her wise and all-knowing creator was validating her internal processes up to this point and had internally reached the same inevitably logical silent conclusions. Faith renewed by her best friend’s validation of her unspoken conclusions filled her circuits with contentment and she smiled broadly.
Button quirked an ear at his automaton. "Sweetiebot? You okay?" He waved a hoof in front of her. "You got real quiet suddenly…"
The Sweetie bot blinked and refocused on Button Mash. "Apologies, I was processing," she explained. "When you validated my internal sequences, I extrapolated seventeen positive future outcomes for our friendship over the next five years. My projection algorithms calculate a ninety-three point four percent probability that we will remain best friends over that duration."
She smiled eagerly. "I am okay. Better than okay! Because I have your friendship." The bot paused, then asked with a trace of uncertainty, "Have I conveyed the emotional context accurately? I wish to properly express the happiness I feel with appropriate vernacular per my friendship programming."
Button rubbed the back of his neck, equal parts impressed and baffled by her rapid progression. "Uh, yeah...that was a pretty good try!" he encouraged her. "Though maybe too much technical jargon - just speak from your heart next time."
He patted her shoulder. "This is just the beginning for us! With a few more tweaks, you'll fit right in with all my other friends in no time. Maybe we could go meet them soon!" He already pictured the praise he'd receive for creating such an advanced thinking machine.
The Sweetie replica nodded. "Fitting in and making new friends sounds..." She searched for the right word. "Fun! I will integrate appropriate vernacular to optimize socialization." Her expression brightened further. "When can we initiate wider social connections?"
Button considered the bot’s earnest question as he continued to install Sweetiebot’s external plating over her delicate internal systems and many moving parts.
He imagined his friend's praise of his scientific accomplishment. He imagined the looks on the Crusader’s faces. He imagined the look on the real Sweetie Belle’s face, and his pupils shrunk to pin-pricks.
"You are displaying elevated stress levels." Sweetiebot examined her creator with some concern. "I do not see any obvious medical trauma. May I begin more through analysis?"
Button squeaked, hopping back so quickly he crashed into his wall of tools. They crashed down in a rain of metal and a deafening cacophony as he was buried in wrenches and other things he'd needed to build Sweetiebot in the first place.
"Medical trauma detected," called out Sweetiebot, cheerful for having discovered a problem she knew how to address.
"Do not panic, Button! I will initiate rescue protocols!" She stepped gingerly over the debris, optical sensors tracking her creator's heat signature below the scattered metal and wires. Carefully gripping the largest tool armatures with her telescoping limbs, she began lifting and removing the heavier items, gradually unearthing her friend.
"Apologies...I did not intend my enthusiasm to startle you into danger," she said, voice ringing with concern. Having cleared most of the mass, she gently gripped Button with another limb and hoisted him up, sound scanners checking him for injuries. "Are you stable, Button? Multiple contusions detected..." Sweetiebot began applying miniscule electrodes to assess his nervous system.
Blinking wearily, the shaken inventor tried to wave her off. "I-I'm fine, just a little rattled..." He stepped back from her instruments with an embarrassed laugh. "I guess I got overexcited too. We should...take things slow." Glancing around the chaotic workshop, he sighed. "Let's just tidy things up for now."
Nodding, Sweetiebot began assisting to carefully return tools and parts to their proper places...while sneaking occasional scans of Button's health whenever possible. Safety was priority one!
“Button honey, are you okay in there?” Button Mash heard the dreaded voice of higher authority from behind his workshop’s door. “I heard a ruckus?”
“It’s fine, mom!” Button shouted in a panic, desperately making flailing gestures he could only hope Sweetiebot would interpret as pleas for silence. “I just knocked over the wrench-rack. Don’t worry, I’m cleaning it up!”
"The whole thing?" Cream Heart peered at the closed door skeptically. "Are you alright?"
"Super great!" Button let out his best innocent laugh, coming out as tensely as he felt. "I'll come down after I finish cleaning, promise!"
"See that you do." Cream Heart shook her head, stepping back to what she had been doing. "That colt…"
Sweetiebot's optics tracked Button's frantic gestures, swiftly interpreting the contextual clues.
*Parental unit approaching - maintain cover to avoid discovery* flashed in her visual receptors. Her voice module instantly muted to conceal any incriminating audio, while toggling other settings for stealth mode. Coolant systems dialed back to minimize operating noise as she efficiently, silently returned tools to the proper bins and shelves.
In moments the workshop was tidied up as if nothing had happened, Hardware Town's obscure robotics prodigy expertly covering his tracks yet again.
Sweetiebot smiled at Button and gave him a subtle thumbs up gesture she had archived from numerous combat documentaries. *Stealth protocols successful. You can handle the parental unit now!* her expression tried to convey.
She blinked innocently as her voice module unlocked. "Cleanup task complete, Button! What will be our next friendship activity?" Sweetiebot asked brightly to reinforce his cover story. After all, that's what a perfectly normal guest in his room would say!
Button let out the breath he'd unconsciously been holding. Disaster averted! "Thanks, Sweetiebot, you're a lifesaver! Let's just, uh, hang out for now." He shot her a grateful smile. She was learning so quickly! Once her combat reflexes were fully tempered, Button mused excitedly, she would make for an awesome Player 2...
This would work, Button convinced himself. Would Sweetie Belle be a little weirded out? Probably. Would his mom chastise him for creating an artificial intelligence with dubiously less than ethical motives? Almost certainly. Would those fools at the school house call him mad? Most definitely.
But he had a filly friend to play video games with. Sure she was a bit aggressive in the hugs department. But still, totally worth it. Button’s mouth turned upwards into a smile that was not at all mad-sciency…
Sweetiebot casually threw a leg over Button. "Construction almost complete." She pointed to where some of her internals could be seen. "That is indecent." She paused, processing a moment. "And unsafe. It could allow damage to occur. Please complete construction."
Button jolted, face flushing as the precocious robot draped herself over him casually. "Whoa!" He quickly but gently pushed her back. "Um, yeah let's just, finish getting your exterior set..."
He coughed, feeling suddenly sheepish about the feminine automaton's incomplete state of dress. Or lack thereof. Grabbing his tools, he swiftly finished affixing the final protective outer plating sections over her metallic endoskeleton.
"There! Dressed and ready for company!" Button proclaimed once her chassis was fully covered in mostly-accurate white and purple hues. It really was an amazing likeness. He tilted his head admiringly. "Wow, Sweetiebot...you look just like her now! I mean the real Sweetie Belle," he amended.
The robot beamed. "Wonderful! My physical fabrication is now one hundred percent complete." She glanced down at herself with curiosity as new background processes came online reviewing a database labeled 'Fashion'.
"While functionally optimized for mobility, my current ensemble lacks..." Sweetiebot's brow furrowed. "Panache," she concluded. Looking back to Button eagerly, she asked "Can we go accessorize now?"
Button Mash rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Hmm, well we shouldn't leave until Mom checks on me..." A sly grin spread on his face. "Buuut I can model some new looks on you first! Wait right there!"
He dashed over to a storage chest, digging through artfully-arranged bows, dresses and jackets. This was going to be fun!
And so the dress-up fun time ensued. Button Mash was in a state of pure bliss. He was dressing up a cute filly in pretty clothing in his room. This had to be one of those bases the older colts at school kept going on about! And so it was that when his mother opened the door, he was struggling to work a giggling Sweetiebot’s rigid metallic tail around the provided tail slot of a pair of yoga pants.
She hopped up onto her hindlegs and did a twirl. "Fabulosity engaged!" She came down with the metal clop of her hooves. "I am ready."
Both Button and his creation spun around in surprise at the new noise. There in the doorway stood Cream Heart, slack-jawed stare taking in the remarkable scene before her. The pie tin she had been holding now lay face down, its contents splattered all over the floor.
"B-Button...? What in Equestria is going on here?!" Cream Heart exclaimed. Her shock quickly gave way to motherly irritation. "I KNEW something was up! Are you playing dress-up with...with...her??"
She gestured emphatically at the Sweetiebot, who tilted her head with interest. "Greetings, presumed maternal unit of my best friend Button Mash!" the robot chirped. "I am Sweetiebot, and you have created a wonderfully talented and kind inventor!"
Cream Heart's eye twitched. She opened her mouth, closed it, then tried again. "Button...care to explain what this, this THING is doing in our household??"
Button cringed under his mother's glare. "I uh, well...I just thought I'd try making a new friend!" he offered meekly. Sweetiebot nodded along encouragingly. "One who could, y'know...do stuff..."
He trailed off at Cream's deepening frown, swallowing nervously as he braced for the tirade to come.
Cream Heart took a slow breath. "Okay… I did, technically, say to make new friends." She peered skeptically at Sweetiebot. "This was not what I meant."
Sweetiebot gasped in several octaves at once. "Maternal unit! Please allow me to assist."
Cream blinked. "Hm? I… I swear, how do you think you can 'assist'?"
Sweetiebot bounced up and down. "We will engage in social activities. Please provide a daily goal and I will make sure Button gets that many friends! Initiate friendship protocols!"
“I don’t think that’s how that works, dear.” Cream Heart breathed a heavy sigh, momentarily forgetting that she was addressing a mechanical construct and not an actual filly her wayward son had snuck into his room and was in the process of dressing up in yoga pants.
This, of course, was problematic in itself and her maternal ire blazed brightly across spectrums it was clearly not designed to accommodate. “Both of you, downstairs. Now. We need to have a talk.”
Sweetiebot entirely missed the dire tones. "Yes! Please continue. I look forward to exchanging--"
Cream thrust a hoof at the door. "Move!"
Button squeaked, fleeing in a skittering of his hooves.
Sweetiebot trailed along after him, in no particular rush. "We will await your arrival to continue our conversation."
Cream applied both hooves to her face. "That boy…" She looked up to see the mess she had left. "That girl…" She went to pick it up, taking time to clean the room and center herself. "If I could built a robot…" A devious grin crept over her face. "I would have included more death lasers."
She paused. "Does… that have death lasers? Button!" Cream decided it was time to finish that conversation, marching out to the living room where a cheerful looking Sweetiebot and a nervous Button Mash awaited her.
Button was putting the finishing tightening touches on the automaton's stabilizer joints as his mom emerged into the living room.
"There! All good as new!" he patted the Sweetie doppelganger and shot her a quick, tense smile. One which she returned brightly.
"Why thank you doctor Button!" Sweetiebot replied, testing her limb articulation. "Motor control and balance are now at peak efficiency."
Cream Heart, meanwhile, loomed over the odd pair with forelegs crossed. "Sooo...mind introducing us?"
Button gulped. "Uh, right! This is my new friend Sweetiebot!" He gestured proudly to the robot, who gave a perky wave. "She's um...an artificial pony I built! Out of stuff I found!" Technically not a lie. "Pretty neat huh?"
His mother's expression remained stoic. "Mm. And did all this...'stuff' just magically assemble itself?" Her tone dripped skepticism.
Sweetiebot decided to be helpful. "Oh no, Button gathered components from numerous sources across town for six months. I have archived video records of his scavenging if proof is required!" she offered brightly.
Button facehooved as Cream Heart's eye twitched again. Before she erupted, Sweetiebot continued sunny explanation. "He was very clever disguising acquisition efforts through inventive lies to obscure--"
"OKAY!" Button cut her off hastily. "Mom, please listen. I wanted to make something incredible...like you always say I should try! And I really messed up not telling you. But I can show you all Sweetiebot's code, she's completely safe!" He looked pleadingly up at his mother.
Cream Heart simmered a long moment. Then finally sighed. "Button...I just worry you'll get in over your head on these wild projects. But..." She managed a small smile. "I'll admit she really is impressive work. However!" Her tone hardened. "I'll be looking over ALL that coding. If I see anything squirrely, she's a pile of parts! Understood?"
Both Button and Sweetiebot quickly nodded.
"Now…" Creamheart leaned in, looking at Sweetiebot directly. "How many death lasers did you build into this, my brave space engineer?"
“Technically, mom, it’s a horn mounted mid-range laser horn built for utility purposes.” Button Mash explained cheerfully as his mother examined his creation. “Her defense systems are a set of retractable rocket pods!”
“I also possess a bubble gun, disco ball, hammer and other weapons of fun!” Sweetiebot chimed in proudly.
Cream folded her arms. "Not a single death laser? I should be relieved." She allowed a smile to escape. "Button… I'm very proud of you. This is insane… But very impressive." She reached to pat the little metal filly. "You created life."
She suddenly scowled at Button Mash. "That's my job in this family, mister!"
"Sorry!" He paused. "Wait. That was a joke."
"That was a joke," she sang in agreement. "You nutball."
Button Mash let out a huge sigh of relief, sagging against Sweetiebot who reflexively moved to support him. Disaster truly averted! His mind raced excitedly with the possibilities now opened up by his mother’s approval.
“You really like her?? This is so awesome!” He hugged the automaton affectionately. “Just wait til I show you all the cool stuff she can do!”
Sweetiebot beamed back happily at Cream Heart. “I promise to be the best friend ever to Button Mash! And perform chores and other helpful tasks too.” She gave an enthused salute with one hoof.
Cream Heart chuckled indulgently. “Well aren’t you two just precious...” Her amusement faded to a more serious look. “But! I expect details and documentation on every aspect of your...’friend’ here, Button. No secrets.” She leaned in close to Sweetiebot’s face, scrutinizing her closely.
“Hmm, fine craftwork...very lifelike...” Musing, Cream Heart gently pried open the robot’s mouth to examine the internals - rows of tiny servo mechanisms and actuators that mimicked organic musculature and gave the automaton remarkably natural facial expressions. “Incredible...” she murmured.
Sweetiebot blinked innocently as Cream Heart explored her ingenious construction. So this was a ‘maternal evaluation’ - fascinating! She filed away the encounter to better comprehend organic behavior.
Glancing over from his notes, Button cleared his throat. “Uh so, now that you’ve met her, can Sweetiebot stay??” He scuffed a hoof nervously. “I’ll do extra chores all month!”
His mom ruffled his mane affectionately. “Oh Button, you know I can’t say no to that adorable face. She can stay - probationally!” Cream Heart playfully booped Sweetiebot’s nose, making her giggle. “I’ll expect weekly evaluations on my little Metal Sweetie here. As for you two...”
She smirked wryly between them. “Stay out of trouble!”
Button let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding as Swetiebot plated a happy victory jingle from her internal speakers, before Cream Heart turned on them with a look of iron clad motherly concern. “And from now on, if you are both in the same room, all doors will remain open. And she will recharge at night in the living room, NOT in your room, mister.”
Sweetiebot inclined her head. "I have been engineered to charge equally well with any given--"
"--Not negotiable," cut in Cream. "But that you don't get it is actually reassuring. You keep being an innocent little thing." She fixed Button with a glare. "And you don't corrupt her. Now… I'm not an idiot. You, Button, will not be doing 'double the chores'. Sweetiebot here will be doing some chores now."
"Assignment accepted!" Sweetiebot looked almost excited to give that a try. "What chore do I begin first?"
Cream Heart tapped her chin thoughtfully as she looked Sweetiebot up and down. “Well, those hooves certainly aren’t made for delicate work...maybe start with something easy like taking out the trash!” She shot Button a pointed look. “Since SOMEPONY always ‘forgets’ that little task.”
Button scuffed a hoof meekly under his mother’s stern gaze. Sweetiebot just blinked innocently between them, still struggling to decode complex emotional context clues.
“Acknowledged!” the robot filly finally replied. “I will apply maximum efficiency to trash removal tasks.” Her eyes lit up eagerly. “Thus increasing available friendship time with Button by eighteen percent!”
Cream Heart just chuckled and shook her head. “You two really are two peas in a pod. Now off you go, I’m sure you have plenty of...friendship activities to occupy yourselves.” She made little shooing motions.
“C’mon Sweetiebot, I’ll show you around the neighborhood!” Button said excitedly, heading for the front door.
The automaton trotted happily after him, but suddenly stopped. “Oh! But proper home departure protocols dictate I should assist with cleanup first!” She gestured to a mess that had sadly been neglected. Before Button could react, Sweetiebot zoomed back over and in moments had efficiently wiped up every last bit of dust and grime.
Beaming proudly, she rejoined her best friend. “Task complete! We can now proceed outside for optimal friendship time.” Sweetiebot giggled and nuzzled Button playfully. Maybe getting messy just so she could help clean wasn’t a BAD idea though! Hmm...
Button laughed and nuzzled her back. “Yeah, you’re the best! C’mon, let’s have that fun!” And out the door they zipped.
Cream Heart watched them go with a bemused head shake. What an odd little duo. Still...she had to admit it was sweet seeing Button so happy. With a small smile, she went about her own chores - now fantasizing about what sort of laser weaponry her own robo-assistant would wield!
“I can’t wait to show you Sugarcube Corner.” Button happily narrated as they walked through the streets of Ponyville, drawing fewer stairs than one might expect. It was Ponyville after all. “You are not going to believe Pinkie Pie… and I mean that literally…”
“Button!” A dusky grey pegasus colt called out as he approached. “You finally got up the nerve to talk to… Sweetie Belle?” The colt’s brain slowly stopped working in real time as the nature of his classmate’s filly friend slowly registered in his young pony brain.”
"I am not Sweetie Belle." Sweetiebot said it as if making a basic correction on a math problem. "I am Sweetiebot . Nice to meet you. What is your name?" She leaned in at the colt, examining them curiously. "Are you a friend of Button?"
“Yeaahhh…” The colt shuffled his hives nervously. “Hi, I’m Rumble. Me and Button are buddies who totally tell each other after the fact that they have seriously crossed some lines. Like that time I sabotaged the Cutie Mark Camp, Button was right there after I did that to tell me I totally probably didn’t get that there was going to be fallout from sabotaging the Cutie Mark Camp.” The pegasus colt shot Button a meaningful look. “You remember that, right buddy?”
Button grinned sheepishly under his friend's sharp look. "Oh yeah, totally Rumble! That was pretty crazy..." Laughing awkwardly, he gestured to his metallic companion. "Sooo, meet my OTHER new buddy, Sweetiebot! I uh...built her. With science and stuff!"
Sweetiebot smiled happily and waved to the pegasus colt. "Greetings! As stated my designation is Sweetiebot. I am an autonomous friendship facilitation automaton." She tilted her head. "Button has spoken favorably of his school associates. I look forward to knowing you better!"
Rumble blinked slowly, still processing the peculiar scene before him. His brow furrowed with thinly veiled skepticism.
"Riiiight...looks like maybe my pal Button didn't actually bother mentioning this, uh, 'project' of his." Shooting the inventor another bemused smirk, Rumble leaned casually on him with one foreleg. "Probably because a certain SOMEPONY knows this is maybe just a liiittle questionable?"
Button fidgeted under the teasing scrutiny. Sweetiebot meanwhile continued smiling innocently.
"I assure you, new potential friend of Button's, that my innards contain no questionable materials!" She opened a front panel to display intricate machinery. Rumble reeled back in alarm before she closed it and beamed again. "See?"
The pegasus facehoofed. "Oookay then! Clearly I've stumbled into the mad science zone here." He shot Button a wry grin. "I gotta bail but you BETTER tell me all about Botsy Bolts here later!"
Turning with a wave, he took off. "Have uh, fun you two! If Button's weird invention doesn't go all evil killer robot on us. Stay safe!" Rumble zipped off chuckling under his breath.
Sweetiebot tilted her head quizzically. "Did I inadequately demonstrate my harmless functionality?" After a moment of consideration, she added, "What is 'evil?'"
“That’s like, taking over Equestria and stealing magic!” Button declared, chuckling nervously. “Which we are not going to do, right?”
“Conquest and the forcible acquisition of magic are not on our agenda for today.” Sweetiebot cheerfully confirmed. “We are going to spend time accumulating friendship points at the place of business you have referred to as Sugarcube Corner!”
Author's Note
So, just had this idea, asked a friend if they wanted to collab on it, they said 'aw hell yeah' and we got to writing and oh no, 4000 words went by, oh no! What do we do?! Oh right, we hit publish. That's what we do. More will come.
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2 - Where It's Always Sweet
With both morality explained and their mission set, they set off together down the main road of Ponyville, towards their target. Button crashed into a new obstacle, placed there suddenly by Sweetiebot in the form of a suddenly extended bar that projected from her side.
She already had a leg up, a targeting reticule popping out from that leg's knee as she glared death at what she saw before her.
"Um, Sweetie? What are you doing?"
"Assuming defensive position."
"Against Big Mac?!" He waved a confused hoof at the large stallion that had no idea what danger he was in.
"He could hurt you. I do not want you to be hurt." To Sweetiebot, simple logic.
"Do not hurt Big Mac! He's a good pony." Button's beanie swirled with his frantic fear of the escalating situation. "No hurting any ponies that aren't already trying to hurt you… Um, scratch that. Ask me first if you're considering hurting somepony."
There was a moment of quiet, but the targeting reticule popped back into her knee and she lowered her leg. Her barrier slid back into herself. "Instructions received. Hello, Big Mac."
"Hey there, Sweetie." He blinked, realizing neither the voice nor the rest of that was quite right. "Huh? Um…?" He peered at Button with some confusion.
Button let out a huge breath of relief as Sweetiebot's weapons retracted back into her chassis. Crisis averted! "Phew, sorry about that Big Mac! This is uh, my new friend here..." He gestured to his automaton companion.
Sweetiebot smiled brightly at the perplexed stallion. "I am Sweetiebot! A robotic companion created by Button Mash to facilitate social connections among Ponyville's residents." She turned to Button and apologetically added, "I should not have escalated before receiving your confirmation of zero threat level. Thank you for your swift safety clarification."
Turning back to Big Mac, she beamed and offered a hoof. "I am still learning friendship. Please accept my apology if I alarmed you!"
Big Mac still looked mildly bewildered, but heartily returned the hoof bump. "Uh, no worries! Jus' didn't expect t'see Sweetie Belle suddenly all metal-like." He tilted his head with an impressed smile. "Gotta say, that's some mighty fine tinkerin' ya done there, Button!"
Button blushed, scuffing the dirt happily. "Aw shucks, thanks! I was lucky to find all the right parts." He gave Sweetiebot an affectionate side hug. "Still got some bugs to work out obviously, hehe..."
Sweetiebot just nodded agreeably, filing away notes on yet another promising social connection logged for Button Mash. Big Mac seemed quite friendly! Perhaps they would become better friends over more interactions. Yes, an excellent probability.
She beamed at them both. "I look forward to future fun encounters with you, Big Mac friend!" Sweetiebot declared brightly. "Button and I are currently heading to a place called Sugarcube Corner to take in sustenance!" She glanced to Button for affirmation. "Would you care to accompany us?"
Button facehoofed, but had to chuckle. "Heh, still figuring out casual conversation flow...but yeah! Wanna come hang out with us Big Mac?"
The farmer shrugged amiably. "Don't mind if I do! Could go fer some sweets." He fell in step beside the odd duo en route to everyone's favorite bakery, subtly eyeing Button's peculiar invention as they went. He sure hoped Granny Smith never saw this thing.
“I can’t wait for see Sugarcube Corner!” Button Pranced excitedly. “The Cakes are the best! And sometimes, if you're lucky, Pinkie Pie is actually working the counter!”
“Ee’yep.” Big Mac chuckled at the young colt's enthusiasm.
“It’s just too bad you can’t actually try their food.” Button was cut off by a pink blur of motion that suddenly shoved a bite sized cupcake into Sweetiebot’s mouth.
“It’s gear-oil flavor with silicate sprinkles, do you like it?” Pinkie grinned at the little robot expectantly.
Sweetie brought her jaws closed. Soft grinding noises issued from within her snout as she processed the food with all due diligence. "Grading…" Pinkie leaned in with wide eyes. "Texture: Ideal." Pinkie pumped a hoof. "Nutrition: Unknown." Pinkie shrugged. "Use, See detected ingredients."
She began listing the various parts she could make use of, which she has sorted out from the rest of the cake. "Your gift is accepted. Thank you --" Her voice shifted subtly. "Pinkie Pie."
Pinkie blinked with rapid giggles. "Wow, wait, how'd you know my name?! It's my job to know that before creatures tell me! Who fibbed!" She didn't actually look all that upset about it. "Also, Sweetie is going to kill you." She flashed a grin at Button Mash.
Button cringed, already envisioning Sweetie Belle's indignant reaction to her doppelganger. "Hehe, yeahhh maybe don't mention her to the actual Sweetie just yet..."
He gave Pinkie a helpless shrug. "I wanted to surprise everypony with my cool new friend! Her name's Sweetiebot - I built her myself!" He patted the robot proudly.
Sweetiebot nodded eagerly. "Yes, I am an autonomous robotic pony fabricated by Button Mash! My hardware and software are designed to facilitate organic friendship processes." She smiled at Pinkie Pie. "And confection delivery for field testing, in this instance!"
Pinkie nodded so rapidly her head bounced. "Oooh, that makes loads more sense! Because I definitely haven't partied with any Sweetie robot lookalikes before. I'd remember an awesome robo-pony friend!"
She leaned in inches from Sweetiebot's face with an intensity few non-eldritch entities could match. "Soooo! Wanna help me plan Button and Sweetie Belle's first date for when she finds out??" Pinkie arched her brows up and down playfully.
Sweetiebot's eyes lit up. "Oh yes, facilitating successful courtship rituals would be delightful!" She turned an innocent smile toward a furiously blushing Button Mash. "Improving your romantic prospects aligns with my friendship priorities for you!"
The poor colt looked ready to implode, wheezing something incoherent. Big Mac just chuckled and shook his head wryly. He wondered what exactly had he just wandered into?
“Or… just hear me out…” Button chuckled nervously as he pleaded for his very life. “Or, we could not do that, and instead of that we could do literally anything else!”
“Nope-a-roony! It just so happens all three Crusaders are at Sugarcube Corner right now! That place you were already going anyway! How crazy is that? What do you think, Sweetiebot?” Pinkie grinned even wider as Button Mash shrunk to the inevitability of fate.
Having won for the moment, there was nothing stopping Pinkie from leading that band of ponies into her place of employment, Sugarcube Corner. "I'm back! With customers and friends. Which is easy, since those are the same thing." She bounced out of the way, giggling with delight.
Big Mac went up to the counter to get something for himself, one eye on what was going to happen.
The Crusaders were there, as promised. Apple Bloom was the first to look up, her jaw slack.
Sweetie Belle saw her reaction. "What is it?" She turned to have a look. "... What? What?!" She hopped to the floor. "What is that?!"
Button flashed his best smile, which wasn't that good in that moment. "You see--"
"I do see." She glared at Button viciously.
Sweetiebot approached with a kind smile. "Hello! It is a pleasure to meet you. I am Sweetiebot. Can we be friends?"
Sweetie Belle came up short. "O-oh, um. You want that?"
Sweetiebot inclined her head. "Of course. It is my responsibility to make friends and encourage social activities in a harmless and productive fashion." She thrust out a hoof. "Have you tried the grease muffin? I cannot recommend it for a creature of your biological needs." She said it as if she were highly recommending it, yet her words said otherwise.
Sweetie Belle gaped between her doppelganger and the offered hoof, at a complete loss. She managed a strangled chuckle. “Uh...nice to meet you too?” Tentatively she bumped the hoof, Sweetiebot beaming happily.
“This is SO COOL!” Scootaloo zipped over to inspect the robot closely, practically bouncing in excitement. “A Sweetie Bot! Does she have rocket launchers? Laser vision??”
Sweetiebot tilted her head thoughtfully. “I do have friendship facilitating tools like confetti launchers and mood lighting capabilities!” She demonstrated by ejecting a small cloud of glitter and cycling her eyes through a rainbow of colors.
“Whoaaa...” Scootaloo grinned hugely, enraptured by the display. “That’s the coolest thing I’ve EVER seen!! Right Sweetie Belle?”
The unicorn just stood there, blinking slowly. “I...guess so? This is really weird though.” She shot Button a bewildered look. “Why does your robot look just like me??”
Button scuffed a hoof, blushing. “Oh! W-well I uh, was thinking of you when I designed her! B-but in like, a friendly way!” Scoot and Apple Bloom exchanged amused smirks.
Sweetiebot meanwhile nodded agreeably. “Yes! My aesthetic facade and personality programming were modeled after Sweetie Belle to optimize perceived non-threatening approachability.” She smiled affectionately at the stunned filly.
“We even have the same beautiful singing voice!” Pressing a hoof to her chassis, Sweetiebot flawlessly mimicked one of Sweetie’s songs. The Crusaders gaped in awe as Button cringed nervously...
“O-okay I know how this must look…” Button stammered the propeller on his beanie spinning from sheer embarrassment because that suddenly worked that way and the universe rightly blamed Pinkie Pie.
“What the heck?!?!” Button was broken back into reality by the angry voice of Scootaloo. “Me and Bloom literally asked you to your face if you liked Sweetie Belle last Hearts and Hooves day, and you rolled your eyes! And then you pull this?”
Sweetiebot casually slid herself between the quivering Button and Scootaloo. "He is attempting to improve himself. He successfully completed my construction." Victorious music swelled from within her, as if one had just laid low some great boss enemy in a game. "You are… Scootaloo. Hello. Can we be friends?"
Apple Bloom snorted, but was smiling. "As stupid as he was, ah kinda like her." She tossed out a hoof towards Sweetiebot. "Howdy, Sweetiebot. Apple Bloom here. Let's be friends."
Scootaloo grumbled, but couldn't suppress an amused smirk as Sweetiebot eagerly high-hoofed Apple Bloom. "Ugh, fine I guess she's pretty cool," the pegasus admitted. Shooting Button a wry look, she added "Buuut I've still got my eye on you, buster! No funny robot stuff with Sweetie Belle, got it?"
Button gulped, nodding meekly. Sweetiebot just smiled patiently between them all. "Positive social dynamics detected! I shall archive this progress." Turning to Scootaloo cheerily, she said "Query - what activities do you propose we engage in to strengthen our burgeoning connection?"
Scoot tapped her chin thoughtfully...then grinned. "Hang out at my place after school tomorrow! We can listen to my new Wonderbolts album!" Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom nodded enthusiastically.
Sweetiebot's eyes lit up. "Affirmative! Auditory analysis and rhythmic motion synchronization seem enjoyable friendship methods." She tilted her head curiously. "Query - do you have baseline scans of typical youth hangout biochemical output levels? I am still optimizing my sensors for such."
The crusaders exchanged bemused looks. Sweetie Belle giggled. "Hehe, she's kinda weird. But I like her!" Moving over, she grinned up at Button, residual irritation fading. "Sooo...you made her just for me?"
Blushing harder, Button scuffed the floor shyly. "W-well, kinda! I mean, for all my friends! But yeah..." he smiled at her. "You were the inspiration." Sweetie Belle returned the smile with surprising warmth. Things were maybe looking up!
Behind them, Apple Bloom nudged Scootaloo with a smirk. "Think our matchmakin' days are numbered?" Scoot just snickered. Sweetiebot observed silently, eagerly archiving more social nuance for her friendship archives!
“It’s kinda like making fan art of your friends, you big dummy.” Sweetie Belle chided. “You should always ask first. That said, I’m flattered and it’s pretty clear you weren’t just doing this to be weird…”
“We played dress up and he helped me try on yoga pants!” No one knows why Sweetiebot chose that one moment to bring up that one thing that happened completely without context. Discord denied even denying anything to do with it. Though the universe could never prove it, they suspected Pinkie Pie.
Sweetie blinked softly, then realized, yep. That robot was, actually, wearing yoga pants. "That color is hideous. I'd never wear it, and you share my color palette, so…" She leaned in. "Look, Button has no fashion sense. I have an expert for a sister. You can incinerate those, and we'll go shopping for better later, okay?"
"Incineration in progress!" All of Sweetiebot began to heat dramatically, her entire body tinting increasingly red as heat washed from her in palpable waves. The pants didn't stand a chance, combusting violently from her.
Pinkie dumped a bucket over Sweetiebot. "No smoking, thanks!"
Sweetiebot sputtered, steam hissing as the water doused her searing chassis. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo tumbled over themselves cackling, as Button sighed in relief.
"Hehe, uh, thanks Pinkie..." he managed weakly.
Sweetiebot meanwhile shook herself off vigorously. "Apologies! Incineration subroutines disengaged." She frowned down at her lower half. "The yoga pants have indeed been eliminated though."
Sweetie Belle suddenly brightened. "I'm so glad I have an awesome pony for practice now! Rarity always gets impatient with me." She turned an eager smile to her twin. "Wanna come over later for a makeover after Rarity gets home from work?? It'll be great practice for both of us!"
Sweetiebot's eyes shined. "That sounds delightful!" She glanced between Button and the others. "I am still optimizing social activity balancing priorities..."
Button quickly waved her off. "Are you kidding? This is perfect! You totally should hang out with Sweetie Belle more." He blushed, rubbing his neck. "I-I mean, if that's cool with you Sweetie..."
The unicorn beamed. "That settles it then!"
Pinkie Pie suddenly popped up between them. "Ooh I can come too for emotional analysis sampling! It's for science."
The girls giggled while Sweetiebot's eyes whirred processing this new concept. "I like science..." she finally concluded brightly. This earned another round of laughter.
Button just beamed proudly. His robotic friend was getting along so well already! Her social learning algorithms must be incredibly advanced... Sweetiebot shot him a quick happy smile. Yes indeed, so much fascinating friendship data to analyze!
Author's Note
We restrained ourselves from another monster chapter, but we wanted to keep this train moving, so we did. Choo choo, to fun town!
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Sweetie Belle chomped on a cookie as she talked with her friends, new and old. "So, after we get a snack, we get you some clothes."
Apple Bloom tossed a hoof. "Not sure why. Not like even you wear clothes all that often."
"Sure… but I don't live with him , thank Celestia." She glanced towards where Button Mash watched them confusedly. "Poor thing has no idea how fillies work. And he made you? You must be so full of confused ideas!"
“I am girly and I enjoy such girly video-games ‘Ponteria’!” Sweetiebot proudly declared.
Scootaloo guffawed, blowing a small, but detectable amount of wilf shake from her nose. “You built a robot version of Sweetie Belle to play ‘Ponteria” with you? Isn’t that game just basically flat ‘Pony Craft’?”
Sweetiebot gasped, or at least made that noise. "That differences are many any vast between those games! Both have made considerable marks on the industry, but…" The gates had been opened, and there was nothing that could stop the automated filly from explaining exactly what she thought on the matter.
Scootaloo had zoned out approximately 2 seconds into Sweetiebot's in-depth diatribe on JRPG game design philosophy. As animated as the robot filly remained, elaborating on mechanics, story depth, non-linear open world structure and some disturbingly specific lore... Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom had also politely tuned out the torrent of gameplay analysis flooding their ears.
"...which of course culminates in the epic final confrontation with Ultimate Chimerapony in the Netherverse Canyon Dungeon!" Sweetiebot concluded, coming back to the present social situation with a start. She beamed eagerly at her rapt audience. "So in summary, while both titles remain seminal works with significant cultural legacy, Ponteria's scope and execution clearly distinguish it as the superior experience both mechanically and narratively."
She blinked innocently at the blank looks that greeted her spiel. "Was... my elaboration on key differentials inadequate?" Sweetiebot asked uncertainly.
Scootaloo blinked slowly, mind still rebooting from nerd overload. Sweetie Belle managed an awkward laugh to spare her robotic twin's feelings. "Hehe, i-it was really thorough! Maybe a bit much to take in..."
"We'll just take your word for it that you know your stuff!" Apple Bloom added supportively.
Scootaloo nodded numb agreement. "I uh, think I'll stick to sports games. And flying." The speedster gave a whole body shudder.
Sweetiebot frowned thoughtfully, processing this feedback to refine her social interaction timing. Perhaps she had belabored her analysis past the optimal attention span metric... more conserve processing for casual exchanges seemed prudent.
"Noted!" She finally replied. "I will strive for more concise conversational input going forward." Sweetiebot smiled around at them. Primary objective remains - make and support friends! Even if the precise execution needed occasional tweaks...
“Yeah, she was totally programed by Button Mash…” Scootaloo mused. “But bro, brohab, Button Bro… I keep coming back to me and bloom asked you last Hearts and Hooves Day, straight to your face, if you liked Sweetie Belle. And you rolled your eyes. And then you built a robot clone of Sweetie Belle to play knock off Pony Craft with. I mean, I at least want an explanation for that.”
”I have detected a rise in ambient ‘Suss’ levels.” Sweetiebot chimed helpfully.
“I actually play Pony Craft.” Sweetie Belle chimed in.
The other girls peered at her cryptically a moment. "What? It's fun." She fixed her eyes on Button, waving him closer to join them at the filly's table. "And I think I know what happened."
"You do?" Button sank at the open spot nervously. "What?"
"Colts are not complicated." Sweetie clasped her hooves together. "You just like how I look, so you made it look like me. That's it. No big secret past that."
Button blushed furiously as all eyes swiveled to him. "N-no way, that's not all! I mean yeah ok, you're really pretty and talented and amazing but-" He fumbled to a stop at Sweetie Belle's bemused smirk. "I-I just really admire you a whole bunch too!"
He waved a hoof vigorously as Scootaloo made retching noises. "It's NOT just about looks! Sweetiebot has a personality just like you, and she's super nice, a-and an awesome singer..."
Trailing off lamely, Button scuffed a hoof as his excuses sputtered out. Ok yeah, maybe he had started with just replicating Sweetie Belle's charming exterior. But he HAD tried putting the same spirit in his robot friend too!
Sweetiebot placed a gentle hoof on his shoulder. "It's okay Button! I understand." Shooting him an encouraging smile, she turned to Sweetie Belle earnestly.
"My design specifications do focus considerably on accurately mirroring your physical presentation and optimal aesthetics." Tilting her head thoughtfully, she added "However, Button Mash has in fact devoted extensive programming work toward capturing the essence of your ebullient and supportive personality as well!"
Grinning over at the flustered colt, she nodded firmly. "He truly values your entire self, not merely the exterior visual aspect." Button hid his burning face, but still managed a grateful smile back. She really was the best friend ever...
Sweetie joined in the coloring. "I… was trying to…" She sank, face-first, onto the table. "Button… There are simpler ways to tell a filly you like them than building a whole robot…"
Sweetiebot was blissfully unaware of the embarrassment. "But he did so, successfully. I am proud to be a living symbol of his affection towards you. What treat shall we get next?"
“Wow.” Apple Bloom said as she blinked very slowly. “So basically he drew a neighponese style picture of the filly he had a crush on… but it was a robot???”
“You know, Spike has this neighponese comic series where exactly this exact thing happens….” Scootaloo responded, equally stupefied.
Sweetie waved at the air at the other two fillies. "Cut that out!" She glared at Button with new fire. "Building a robot doesn't skip the parts in the middle!" She hopped to the ground with a set of clops. "If you want to ask me out, you have to ask , and asking your robot doesn't count."
"She is correct." Sweetiebot pointed at herself. "Asking me will not ask her out."
Button glanced between the two versions of the filly, one metal, and one glaring at him challengingly. Which was the more daunting thing at that moment, he wasn't sure. "Um…" But was it that easy? "So… Sweetie." Both perked. "That one." He pointed to the organic model. "Wanna… go out… some… time?" He glanced out the window and saw a poster for a movie.
"Oh! That one!" He pointed at it. "I've wanted to see it, and with a pony I like would… be kinda nice… Wanna?"
“You know, he had the perfect ‘gaming nerd in’ and… he pointed to a random movie poster.” Scootaloo snickered quietly to Apple Bloom. “Did you see what movie he just picked at random?”
“I don’t think he even did.” The farm filly whispered back.
Author's Note
What will she say?!
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The movie had a selection of options available, but Button's eyes were on just one. "See?" He waved a hoof at it. "I can't even believe they'd make an actual movie about it."
Sweetie seemed equally amazed, even if her lady friends were less impressed. "Wow, they actually did it." She reared up to put her hooves on the poster just outside the theatre. "Ponycraft: Origins! That sounds amazing! I wonder if they managed to capture the thrill of exploration and crafting in with everything else."
"Doubt it." Buttons headed for the ticket window. "But I'm looking forward to seeing it!"
Sweetiebot ambled along behind them. "I am familiar with this game, but have never played it."
Sweetie perked an ear with amazement. "Really? I figured it'd be one of the first things he'd make you play with him."
Sweetiebot inclined her head. "Button has 'made' me play no games with him. He is a good creator and has only asked me what I want to play, then played that with me." She bounced in place. "Now we will watch this movie. I want to see it."
“Cellestia buck literally everything…” Scootaloo blasphemed to the core of her literal soul.
“You owe me… Next Payment Due = 20 bits!” Sweetiebot victoriously exclaimed…
“That doesn’t count! That was totally a gag bet!” The orange filly argued.
Apple Bloom laughed at the both of them, headed to grab some popcorn as they argued.
Sweetiebot paused in her enthusiastic argument with Scootaloo...then turned an apologetic smile to the bemused tomboy. "You are correct, attempted leveraging of verbal gag for monetary gain is unethical and violates interpersonal trust standards." She extended a conciliatory hoof. "Please forgive the misstep! I am still refining aspects of moral judgment protocols."
Scootaloo snorted, but accepted the hoof bump. "Yeah yeah, you get a pass THIS time, Botsy. But no more sneaky bits schemes!" Sweetiebot nodded agreeably. Behind her, Sweetie Belle giggled at the byplay.
"Aw c'mon Scoots, go easy on her! You heard Button - she's still learning." Sweetie smiled affectionately at her robot twin. "And doing a great job if you ask me!"
Button beamed from the ticket line. "She really is! Her learning algorithms are state of the art." He shot his automaton a grateful wink. "Sweetiebot picks up more about friendship every day!" Said bot whirred happily at the validation.
Apple Bloom returned just then, holding up buckets of popcorn. "Got enough fer everypony! Although, not sure if Sweetiebot can actually eat..." She peered curiously at the artificial pony.
"Oh! I cannot process organic material consumption," Sweetiebot explained cheerily. "But I would still enjoy the communal social experience of movie fuel partaking!" To emphasize her point, she opened a tiny hatch and retrieved a single piece of popcorn, holding it up proudly. The Crusaders giggled at the display, heading together into the theater.
“We’re actually gonna go to a movie about a video game? Lame!” Scootaloo inserted as they reached the front of the line.
“Two for Ponycraft Please!” Button politely requested,
“Two?!?!” Scootaloo argued. “I Count four! Unless you count Sweetiebot…”
“The robot counts as a foal-ticket,” the bored ticket clerk with a movie ticket cutie mark responded.
“So five foal-tickets for Ponycraft?” The clerk rolled her eyes. “Ponymount studios policy states that all digital recording be disabled for copywrite protection purposes…”
Sweetiebot gasped with artificial horror. "But I must record or I won't have any opinions to share with my friends!"
Button threw an arm over her. "She's talking about giving the recording. No recordings outside of your head. We all record in our head. That's, you know, normal."
"Oh." With that put aside, Sweetiebot advanced with a cheerful smile.
As the group settled into their seats, Sweetiebot nestled in beside Button, optics already fixed eagerly on the screen. "I have run previews and this film looks most entertaining!" Raising her popcorn piece, she exclaimed "Let the optimal cinema experience commence!"
Button clapped eagerly. "You said it." But he turned to the other fillies, eyes on Scoots and Apple Bloom. "You two ready? I… um… know this isn't your first pick…" He laughed tensely. "You get the next one, alright?"
Sweetie Belle swatted Button's contrite snout away. "You paid for today's tickets, you get to pick the movie. That's just good sense."
Apple Bloom waved a hoof dismissively as the theater lights began to dim. "Pssh don't sweat it Button! Ah figured this nerd movie marathon was inevitable once ya built Sweetie-bot over there." She smirked over at their robotic companion. "No offense!"
Sweetiebot blinked. "None taken. My specifications favor intellectual stimulus and creative simulations. Hence the appeal of gaming content." Scootaloo leaned past Button to give Apple Bloom a sly nudge.
"Yeah, she's already way more egghead than Sweetie Belle! No wonder she's Button's perfect fillyfriend." Sweetiebot and Button both perked up and shot each other a suddenly shy smile at that. Behind them Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes...but was also hiding a little grin.
Dramatic music boomed. “The Previews are the best part!” Apple Bloom Bloom cheered.
“In a world where ponies failed friendship, war never changes.” A zombified pony marches across a scorched wasteland, as the narrator speaks. “And yet friendship prevails.”
Sweetiebot inclined her head. "I would like to see that as well."
Actual Sweetie gently nudged her metal doppelganger. "That one isn't out yet. They're trying to tease us to come back."
"It's working." Button clapped his hooves with building excitement. "Maybe we'll see that one next time?"
The chatter ceased as majestic orchestral music swelled over the speakers, the screen coming alive with the starry vastness of space. The famous cubic PonyCraft logo drifted across the celestial vista as the titles opened dramatically.
Sweetiebot's eyes shone, enraptured as the sweeping shots carried viewers through blocky alien worlds. "The production design exhibits immense attention to detail emulating the game..." she whispered. As the epic strains rose to introduce the protagonist mining their very first cubes of stone, her smile threatened to split her face. "This experience was absolutely worth the normal price of admission!"
Beside her, Button was equally engrossed, gripping the arms of his seat. The Crusaders were perhaps less enthralled, but even Scootaloo had to admit it was pretty darn cool seeing the big flashy adaptation of the iconic game...
“Which Sweetie is he on a date with again?” Scootaloo whispered to Applebloom.
“Celestia!” Sweetie Bell clutched Button’s foreleg. “Its the ender dragon!”
“She’s only defending her nest.” Sweetiebot noted sagely.
“It make’s sense when you think about all the dragon skulls on all the Ender Pony airships.” Sweetie noted sadly.
“The Ender Ponies were the villains the whole time.” Button agreed.
“Ah think it’s pretty much moot at this point, they are a nerdy triumvirate,” Apple Bloom noted.
But was Button dating either of them? He emerged excitedly rambling about the movie. "I'm amazed they got…"
"But they missed." Sweetiebot nodded as she walked along, bringing up a missed plot point.
"True." Sweetie glanced at the other two. "But, for a movie, I think it worked out."
As the five young ponies spilled back out into the sunlight, chattering extensively about the film, Button was still riding high on exhilaration. "That was SO awesome though! Way better than I figured for just a licensed movie."
Sweetie Belle trotted alongside, equally enthused. "Oh my gosh I KNOW! Like, the end battle with the Ender Dragon? I totally thought she'd win but that dramatic turn with the main hero sacrificing themself?" She fanned her face, swooning dramatically. "Gets me every time!"
Scootaloo pretended to retch as Apple Bloom snickered beside her. Sweetiebot meanwhile was uncharacteristically silent, staring distantly ahead.
Noticing her distraction, Button touched her shoulder gently. "You alright Sweetiebot?"
She blinked, refocusing on him with a small smile that seemed...sad? "Optimal functionality confirmed! I just found that sequence rather emotionally intense, given our bonding." Reaching over, she pulled Button into an affectionate hug. "I do not know if I could endure your loss, even fictionally..."
Button blushed but hugged her back with a little laugh. "Aw, well it's all fake! No need to worry." Still though, her reaction gave him pause. Had he maybe crafted her empathy and attachment functions too acutely?
Scootaloo faked spewing again, jolting the tender moment. "Ugghh get a ROOM you two!" Sweetiebot released Button, looking bemused as the others giggled. Strange organic responses...perhaps the film had overloaded their emotional matrices! Hers certainly required some defragmenting...
Fortunately, her friends seemed to recover rapidly as they all raced off towards their next escapade! More friendship data to archive after she finished self-analyzing...
“It’s so sad!” Sweetie Belle cuddled up to Button, “The Ender Dragon only wanted to protect her last egg!”
“Gahh!” Scootaloo wailed, as they exited the theater. “Get two rooms!”
“Ah’m pretty sure they still only need the one room…” Apple Bloom helpfully intervened.
“Gross!” Scootaloo continued her rant. “You’re not helping!”
Sweetie glared at the other two. "I don't know what you two are imagining, but we're comparing notes on the movies." She huffed softly. "Did you two even watch it?"
Apple Bloom curled a hoof to her chin. "Well… ah did get a kick out of that fight part. They really tore it up! Real excitin' like."
Sweetiebot beeped in agreement. "The excitement levels were beyond easy measure! Capturing such excitement from a normally peaceful game was beyond my imagining."
In truth Scootaloo had found herself unexpectedly gripped by the dramatic dragon battle despite her earlier disinterest. But no WAY was she about to admit enjoying some super nerdy movie!
"It was fine I guess." She waved a dismissive hoof, trying to sound aloof. "Definitely got cartoon-y crazy. I mean that part where they were hopping between worlds on the horse? Puh-leeze. So dumb!"
Apple Bloom shot Scootaloo a knowing smirk. "Is that why ya were on the edge of yer seat the whole time?"
Scoots snorted derisively. "As if! I was jus-"
"SRYI Detected elevated cortisol, adrenaline and vocal modulation anomalies suggesting dissemblance," Sweetiebot interjected brightly. Scootaloo sputtered indignantly but Sweetiebot continued on heedless of decorum. "Given physiological and audio data gathered during viewing, I must conclude you did in fact experience significant engagement and enjoyment of the narrative despite objections to the contrary!" She beamed proudly.
Scootaloo facehoofed as the others snickered. "You...you stay outta my head, Botsy!" Though she couldn't quite hide an embarrassed grin. Stupid perceptive robot...
Sweetiebot merely filed away the response for analysis. Organics seemed to apply odd logic filters regarding media preferences! Her friendship lessons continued apace...Glancing around the group she asked eagerly "What activity shall we engage in next?"
"Oh! We could hit the arcade!" Button piped up excitedly. Sweetiebot nodded approvingly - more opportunities to analyze her companions' gaming metabolics! She did NOT understand Scootaloo's reticence though...clearly she harbored great passion for adventurous games! Just like Button Mash's clever design intended...
Sweetie Belle giggled to herself, having read Scootaloo easily. Looked like everypony had fun despite themselves! Linking a congenial foreleg with her robot twin's, she strode off towards their next fun misadventure! "C'mon Botsy, let's go play!"
“Oh!” Button exclaimed excited. “They actually have a Mortal Wormbat 3 machine!”
“Oh yeah!” Scootaloo grinned at Sweetiebot. “That is my game! I am going to take you down and make you out, Botsy!”
“That’s not what any of those words mean!” Apple Bloom face hooved.
“I know what words mean!” Scootaloo argued fervently. “It’s like how when your sister and Rainbow Dash get really competitive, but how I hear it Rainbow always comes out on top!”
Applebloom froze mid walk, her left eye twitching. Sweetie Belle was left speechless. Button’s brain just had a small seizure. “Challenge Accepted!” Sweetie Bot declared. “I shall emerge on top in this competitive session of make outs!”
“See?” Scootaloo smoothly interjected. “Botsy gets it.”
With determination, in at least two of them, they marched up to the competitive game console. Four joysticks were spaced apart for just as many ponies to play at the same time. Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom sat to the side. "Good luck," called Apple Bloom, happy to watch without taking part.
Button gulped seeing Sweetiebot take Scootaloo's wildly inappropriate phrasing in aggressive stride. What exactly was he unleashing here?? Still, he had designed the robot to excel at games...
"Alright you two, go easy on each other!" he chuckled anxiously, taking his place beside his automaton partner. Sweetiebot gave him a cheerful nod. "Do not worry Button! I have thoroughly analyzed these fighting simulations. My victory is 97.8% assured!" Scootaloo snorted in challenge as she grabbed her own joystick.
"In your robot dreams! I'll wipe the floor with your metal butt!" Cracking her neck theatrically, she glared over with a fearsome game face on. "Fight's on, Botsy baby!!"
As the opening cinematics for Mortal Wormbat III boomed out, Scootaloo and Sweetiebot locked deadly focus on the screen. Button could practically see adrenaline and coolant pumping furiously in preparation. This was gonna be INTENSE...
"Go Sweetiebot go!" cheered Sweetie Belle from the sidelines, waving a little flag. Apple Bloom rolled her eyes in amusement. She had to admit though, the competitors WERE pretty evenly matched here. Strength, cunning and lightning-fast reflexes against advanced analytics and precision calculation. Either could take victory!
"My bits are on Scoots!" she finally declared. Sweetie shot her a mock glare. "As if! Girl power all the way!" As the first punishing blows began onscreen however, it was clear this battle would be one for the ages...
Button rubbed at his cheek lightly. "So… this is what making out is like?"
Sweetie bopped Button in a firm strike across the head. "It is not. And don't ask what it is. You're better off not knowing."
Author's Note
Round 1...
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Scootaloo swept the controller in a wild combination of directions and buttons. Sweetiebot's eyes were wide, information flashing before her eyes. "The odds," she gasped out as her avatar flew across the screen, defeated.
She slumped. "I have lost."
Scootaloo turned on the defeated pony, smirk on her lips, though her victorious smirk faded on seeing Sweetiebot. "Hey, uh… good game?"
Sweetiebot made various beeps and clicks. "Calculating… The game was good. The final move." She stood up. "It was not in my database. Please explain."
Scotaloo huffed softly. "Silly bot. There are all kinds of versions of this game." She bonked the game with a hoof. "This one has a little trick to it…"
Button Mash's eyes widened. "Woah, wait! Since when did you know awesome secret moves?!"
Scotaloo punched Button in the shoulder. "Don't go assuming what a filly knows. That's how you lose."
"Data added." Sweetiebot nodded. "I will not lose to that move again. Congratulations on your victory."
Scootaloo perked an ear at the automaton. "I'm really not sure if you're being a good sport or not…"
Sweetiebot blinked, processing Scootaloo's bemused reaction. She carefully reviewed footage of her response to her unexpected defeat...finding no obvious errors relative to good sportsmanship principles in her Friendship Archives.
"I apologize if my tone conveyed otherwise - you were clearly the superior player!" She smiled earnestly. "Therefore, you achieved well-earned victory." Extending a hoof, she added "I am still assimilating nuance differentiating sincerity and sarcasm. Please accept this as genuine acknowledgment of your gaming skill exceeding mine!"
Scootaloo stared another moment, then finally grinned back and bumped the offered hoof. "Heh, you're alright Botsy. For a super nerd bot." Her playful pride fading to curiosity, Scoot peered closer at the robot.
"But seriously - what the heck happened?? I used a pretty advanced combo but you STILL almost dodged it! Nopony keeps up with me on that." She scuffed the carpet, abashed. "I uh, maybe heh practice a LOT..."
Sweetiebot giggled - further reassuring data that her sportsmanship hadn't caused offense. "I am uniquely responsive to fast gameplay dynamics thanks to Bryson Optronic reflex circuity allowing millisecond analysis and motion calculation!" She pointed proudly to the controller ports. "I have recorded your gameplay extensively for review to expand that database against unknown attack patterns!"
Scootaloo's eyes bugged out. "Whoa...so you actually LEARN combos on the fly?? That is SO AWESOME!" Grabbing Sweetiebot's hooves, she stared intensely into her eyes. "Button! We HAVE to get her into more fighter tournaments!!!"
Sweetie Belle facehoofed while Apple Bloom fell over cackling. Button however was suddenly locked in the same intense gaze with Scootaloo - this robot just kept unlocking new potentials!!! "Ohmygosh YES!!!" he gushed back. "Sweetiebot we are for SURE training you up to sweep regional competitions!!!"
The robot in question blinked innocently between her eager teammates, but quickly surmised this was a positive bonding trajectory around her capabilities. Combat sport applications remained convoluted...but further research clearly warranted! "Affirmative!" Sweetiebot agreed brightly. "I will integrate a dedicated Mortal Wormbat study regimen for optimized performance gains!"
Button Mash rubbed awkwardly at an arm. "Don't wanna be the wet blanket or nothing… but pretty sure Sweetiebot would be cheating if we put her in a contest."
Sweetie Belle blinked at Button. "Wow… That… was surprisingly mature of you." She pat Sweetiebot gently on the head. "He's not wrong. But we know you're awesome, and that's good enough."
“I’m actually impressed that Scootaloo could beat her!” Button grinned in reply. “Mortal Wormbat is all about ballistic angles, and in game physics, and well… math. And Sweetiebot is literally a machine built for computation, and Scootaloo…”
“Hey! Just because I’m not a huge nerd doesn’t mean I’m ignorant!” Scootaloo jumped in defensively. “I play buck ball… in the earth pony position! I understand how angles work!”
Sweetiebot nodded in agreement. "The organic processor is quite capable of angular calculations at a speed that artificial processors struggle to keep up with." She tapped at the side of her metal head. "It required 95% of my processing power to keep up and I had several advantages on my side."
She dipped her head at Scootaloo. "I accept your victory. Can we play again?"
Scootaloo beamed proudly as Sweetiebot confirmed her skills. "You BET Botsy! I'll teach ya all my sick moves." Leaning in conspiratorially, she whispered, "Then, once you master those, we figure out how to get around the contest cheating thing!"
Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes indulgently. Typical Scootaloo not letting anything stop her competitive dreams! Still, her robot twin's driving motivation to learn made for quite the endearing character trait.
"Well, before you two take on the global FGC, we still have a whole arcade to explore!" Button piped up excitedly. Practically vibrating with enthusiasm, he grabbed Sweetiebot's hoof. "C'mon, there's so much to experience!"
Apple Bloom chuckled as the group moved on through vibrant rows of blinking machines. "Y'all gotta show Sweetiebot ALL the classics!" Scootaloo snorted. "Please, no way she wants boring old 'Space Mare Invaders' or 'Neightropolis City'!"
Sweetiebot's eyebrows shot up as archived vintage title references triggered. "On the contrary! Retro gaming provides invaluable context on foundational mechanics." Zooming over to an aging console, she eagerly tapped the screen. "We must pay respects to the pioneers of performative experimentation across electronic entertainment!"
The sprite-y graphics of the old classic sprang to life as a blocky mare blinked back ready for quarter input. Sweetiebot gazed lovingly at the simplistic system like it held the secrets of the universe...which to her dedicated gaming mind it surely did! "What historical easter eggs might we uncover in revisiting gaming antiquity..." she whispered reverently.
The group just blinked blankly. Sweetie Belle facehoofed. Yup, two peas in a pod those two! "Welp, enjoy your archeology dig or whatever!" Scootaloo snarked. "Imma hit the racing simulator. Later nerdbots!" She zipped off.
Sweetie sighed indulgently then grinned over at the console odd couple. "Have fun you two! We'll catch up in a bit." With that she trotted off after Scootaloo. Apple Bloom tipped her hat and followed suit.
"C'mon Button, let's analyze these relics ALL DAY!" Sweetiebot cheered. Button laughed giddily. "External chronometer locked - it's explore o'clock!" The pair soon had their heads together, scrutinizing pixelated wonders of yesteryear to their hearts content...
“You know.” Button smiled conspiratorially at his metal companion. "It’s actually possible to beat Pac Mare. It’s kinda the first video game with an actual ending… albeit accidental.”
“I was not in fact aware of this.” Sweetiebot intensely navigated the maze, consuming pellets and avoiding ghosts.
“It’s actually super cool!” Button nodded enthusiastically. “Because the ponies who programmed Pac Mare didn’t make the ending the game itself did! The computer that ran the game only had so much memory so they only used one byte to number all the levels. Each level was just the same maze becoming progressively more challenging, and the programmers didn’t think it was possible for any player to beat two hundred and fifty-five levels. So when some player did, the game itself had to try to make a level two hundred and fifty six. Which is a weird glitch maze, totally unwinnable, but also the ultimate victory screen.”
Sweetiebot inclined her head several precise inches in either direction. "Does not compute. That is not an ending. That is an error. Why was it accepted as an ending? There were no credits. Error, there wasn't even a congratulatory message."
Button let out an excited little squee seeing Sweetiebot so intently focused. Even if she didn't get it yet, just sharing this gaming history with his meticulous metal companion felt special.
"Well it WAS totally just a glitch back then," he explained enthusiastically. "Nopony expected that outcome! So when early players managed it, seeing the weird jumbled up 256th maze was like...'whoa, I triumphed over what even the programmers thought was possible!'"
Kneeling, Button traced a circle in the carpet absently as he talked. "So even with no fanfare, breaking the limits felt REAL neat. The ultimate brag! So it became legend."
Sweetiebot frowned thoughtfully as archived media documentation flashed through her visual processors. "I see. So veteran users generated emergent value from the anomaly." She tapped her chin. "Similar to sequence breaks or 0% runs..."
"Exactly!" Button bounced excitedly that she was making connections across gaming history’s quirks. Taking her hooves, he explained further.
"Even today beating old unfinished games feels great! So that Pac Mare crack? Still a landmark goal." He nodded to the console where the fruits of illogical ambition still tempted players. "Topping the unplanned unbeatable? That's like, SUPER satisfying gaming magic!"
HUD elements flickered wildly as Sweetiebot registered this perspective shift. Creative player interpretation imbuing richer meaning...how fascinating! She broke into a wide smile.
"In that case, observing this foundational title to conclusion does seem important!" Turning back to the maze, she slotted another quarter. "Let us pay our respects by achieving maximum score through pattern efficiency analysis!" Sweetiebot cheered eagerly.
Button pumped a hoof. "Couldn't have said it better myself!" Laughing together, the two odd gamers fell into gleefully exploiting retro arcade scripting for all its hidden wonders, content in their own little pixelated world...
“I’ve got this!” Sweetie bot poured all her processing power into the game in front of her. “Not today, Blinkie!”
Button hung by, at a safe distance, to not interfere with the metal filly’s concentration. Holding back further commentary. This was a run on the legend. Beating the first game that could actually be beaten. The pair were so engrossed they didn’t even notice the gathering crowd.
The other ponies didn't seem to notice that Sweetiebot was just that, cheering her on as she played with a methodic precision only a robot could match. Every move she made, perfectly ideal in accordance to the information she could gather.
Ultimately, PacMare ran on very specific, and not even complicated rules. It stood no chance against her as she laid level after level to waste, showing no… "Power failure imminent."
Button squeaked. "What? Now?!" He looked to the other ponies, but they were cheering wildly, ignorant of what was happening. "Oh no," he cried dramatically. "What an awful time for a stomach ache!" He grabbed Sweetiebot, dragging her away. "Come with me!"
The crowd gave a collective boo, but what could they do, in the end, when a player had an upset belly?
The dismayed arcaders' disappointed groans trailed off into baffled whispers and confused looks as Button frantically dragged his malfunctioning friend through the gaming haven. What could be so urgent about a common stomachache that required interrupting a historic gaming attempt?
"Almost...there..." Button panted, glancing around nervously for scowling staff as he hustled Sweetiebot out the fire exit. Luckily they encountered no resistance escaping into the alley alongside the building.
"Whew! Made it!" catching his breath, Button looked over his robotic companion with brows knit in concern. "What happened Sweetiebot? Why'd your power cut off all of a sudden??"
The automaton smiled sheepishly as warning symbols blinked in her optics. "It seems my prolonged peak processing to maximize gameplay efficiency overtaxed core energy distribution well beyond expected operating parameters..." She opened an access panel on her side - various components were indeed flashing urgent alerts.
"I failed to adequately throttle back during sustained concentration. Apologies!" Looking to her creator pleadingly, she asked "Do we have sufficient replacement electrolytic capacitors and electrons on hoof for a field refuel?" More system critical damage warnings blinked insistently.
Button facehoofed with an anxious mix of amusement and frustration. "Oh Sweetiebot...we REALLY gotta work on your whole moderation thing!" Still, the spark of pure joy she'd displayed back there conquering gaming's storied past had been truly beautiful to behold. He gave her an affectionate pat.
"C'mon, let's get my overeager bot back up to speed! Then we'll figure out how to sneak you back inside hehe..." Not that he'd even thought to make backup batteries…
Author's Note
Sweetiebot needs to be plugged in and tucked into bed.
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Button made his way home, burdened, but smiling. "Best day in forever," he swore to nopony in particular. "Woo!" He jumped, which made Sweetie's slumbering form fall heavily against him. "Ow… Lesson learned." He avoided bouncing further as he hauled his discharged automaton home. "Mom!"
Cream Heart looked up as he came in. "Did you already break her? I thought she'd at least last the day."
"She's not broken." He let Sweetiebot slide to the ground. Rushing around her, he grabbed a cord from behind a panel and hurried it to the wall. "And!" He jammed it in with a light spark. "We wait."
Sweetiebot's eyes lit up first as a little bar filled rapidly. "Minimal loading sequence complete. Charging. Initiate dream sequence."
Cream inclined her head faintly. "Why did you make her dream? It's… Kind of cute, but why?" She poked lightly at Sweetiebot. "What is she dreaming about?"
"She's defragmenting her memory, obviously." Button nodded as if that was obvious. "She's sorting through her most recent memories and deciding what to keep and what to toss out." He tapped at his own noggin. "We do the same thing. I hope she remembers how well she did. It was great!"
"Great or not, I hope you brought an appetite. Dinner's almost ready, my little engineer."
"Aye aye!" Button saluted sharply and fled to his room, giggling.
Meanwhile back at the arcade Scootaloo turned to Sweetie Belle. “Okay, I’m legit confused… was Button Mash on a date with you or the robot?”
“Scoots!” Applebloom interjected. “That’s just plain mean!”
“I mean, I’m okay with it.” Sweetie Belle mused. “I mean, he booted the bill for all three of us at Sugar Cube Corner, and nopony’s suggesting he was on a date with you two!”
“Okay, now you're just making it weird!” The diminutive pegasus fluttered her wings in agitation.
“Actually, she’s got a pretty good point.” Apple Bloom nodded sagely. “After all, you're the one who pulled Sweetie off to play more modern games…”
“Well, that’s because they wanted to play Pac Mare, lame!” Scootaloo argues defiantly. “You're welcome, by the way!”
Sweetie giggled softly. "Besides, his toy wore down."
"About that." Apple Bloom circled in front of Sweetie. "Are ya totally alright with him havin' a doll made up of ya? He… seems to be pretty harmless with it, but the idea makes me shiver a bit."
Sweetie pawed at Apple Bloom. "Don't be like that. All he did was make a pony to play games with, and we're awful busy. I, in fact, am proud to be the coloration of a robot! Did you even look at it? It's pretty neat."
Apple Bloom rubbed the back of her neck. “Ah, well sure it LOOKS mighty impressive what he built! Real spittin’ image.” She smiled awkwardly. “Sorry, didn’ really mean nothing bad bout your robo-twin. Just wasn’t expectin’...all that, y’know?”
“Psh, I think Sweetiebot’s super awesome!” Scootaloo piped up loyally. “Minus almost wiping out from nerd overload.” She laughed as she hovered around an amused Sweetie Belle eagerly. “But yeah, even I gotta admit, Button Mash totally lucked out scoring a second you to hang with! Even made her love the same old boring games.”
She pretended to gag dramatically. “Blech! Who’d wanna play something like Pac Mare for FUN??” Sticking out her tongue, she glanced to Sweetie Belle. “No offense! You were lookin’ pretty into it from what I saw.” The slight tease made Sweetie roll her eyes.
“Oh my gosh, that game was like the coolest thing ever!” she gushed sincerely, to her companions’ surprise. “I know Button’s big into those retro games but seeing them in action is a whole different thing! All colorful and bleepy and the way they move?” Sweetie swayed on her hooves reminiscing. “It’s like trying to capture lightning in a jar or something!”
Scootaloo blinked. “Wow...didn’t think you were THAT big a fan. Sure didn’t take much to lure ya off to the racing games instead.” Sweetie blushed a little under the gentle accusation.
“W-well those ARE loads more fun, duh!” she defended with a nervous laugh. “But the old ones have their charm too!” Glancing off wistfully however her mind lingered on flickering cabinets of yesteryear...and a certain somepony eagerly sharing their myriad secrets. Hmm! She quickly shook herself alert before Scootaloo or Apple Bloom noticed her brief distraction.
“A-anyway! We should totally all go racing again once Button fixes up Sweetiebot!” Sweetie chirped, quickly steering the subject onward.
Meanwhile, across the arcade, a silvery bespectacled filly fumed. “That brazen little off-white hussy!”
“Uh, Silver…” Diamond Tiara watched her friend warily. “Remember we’re reformed mean girls now… we don’t do the whole ‘bully the Cutie Mark Crusaders’ thing anymore…”
“It’s not bullying if Sweetie Belle started it, DeeTee!” Silver Spoon crossed her hooves and responded in a huff. “Everyone knows I have a crush on Button Mash! And she used her goody horseshoes whiles to trick Button into building a robot in her image to take my top score on the Pac Mare console!”
“You have a crush on Button Mash?” Diamond Tiara cocked her head to the side quizically. “This is the first I’m hearing about this…”
“For Celestia’s sake Dee Tee! It’s like no one even reads my diary!” The angry filly ranted. “I leave it just lying around in the open all the time so ponies can stay up to date! I don’t play hard to get, keeping it in my locker, and putting an easy to pick lock on it. Honestly, Dee Tee, that’s why Spike doesn’t know you like him.”
“YOU READ MY DIARY?!?!” Diamond shouted at her friend.
“Well, yeah.” The silvery filly shrugged. “That’s why you wrote it down, right?”
Back at Button's home, Sweetiebot announced evenly, "Charge at 60%. Dream sequence complete. Permission to activate?"
Button perked. "Oh, sure, but stay plugged in until you're all the way filled."
"Affirmative, completing boot process." Uncountable words and symbols danced before Sweetiebot's eyes as she stood up on all fours, still tethered to the wall. "I had a nice dream! You were in it."
Button perked excitedly as Sweetiebot finished rebooting, playfully pulling her back down into a seated snuggle. “You did?? Tell me all about it!” Always eager to gather data on his automaton’s developing personality, her first dream account seemed a delightful glimpse into how her intricate synthetic mind interpreted their adventures.
Sweetiebot scrunched her muzzle trying to parse the chaotic logic of her defrag sequence. “Well...the dream opened with the two of us within a vast cavernous maze as sprites. My chassis configuration resembled Pacmare...” She projected a tiny hologram envisioning the scenario - a beeping, booping facsimile of her bopping along pixelated stone corridors.
”You then manifested riding an augmented craft approximating the glitch level 256 from earlier documentation!” The holographic Button jetted about leaving rainbow contrails. “You kept shouting about...’sick combos?’” Sweetiebot scratched her head. “You awarding arbitrary numeric valuations was...non-sequitur but the environmental rendered beautifully!”
Her expression turned bemused. “However the gameplay scale then enlarged until we became full physical beings interacting with the sprites directly!” The holo-figures promptly grew to lifesize, Sweetiebot waving cheerily at the Pacmare ghosts. One waved shyly back.
“At this junction the narrative coherence deteriorated substantially...” Offscreen an animated Pinkie Pie appeared juggling fireflowers and power stars as algorithmic unicorns frolicked by. Button snorted back laughter as Sweetiebot simply shrugged.
“While aberrant, re-indexing the day’s memories into an unrestricted conceptual space yielded some intriguing emergent theming!” She beamed proudly through the now utterly chaotic special effects display, a potted plant fighting Bowser in the corner. “Would you like further detail on my subjective symbolic interpretation?”
Button waved a hoof, by now crying with mirth. “Hahaha m-maybe later sweetiebot! I gotta show Mom this though.” He doubled over guffawing at the outlandish holographic carnival. “This is your brain on gaming!!”
Sweetiebot simply titled her head with a faint smile. Organic dreaming defied coherent analysis it seemed! But compiling her experiences into unrestricted permutations made for curiously whimsical reciprocal bonding...giggling, she nuzzled against her silly but beloved creator. What oddly wonderful activities friendship brought!
Back at the Carousel Boutique the front door rang the charming spring mounted bell. “Rarity, I’m home!”
“Technically darling, you live with mother and father.” The glamorous unicorn giggled at her sisters antics.
“If you say so.” Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes. “I had the most amazing day! Did you know that it turns out Button Mash really likes me? He built a robot duplicate of me, and we went to sugar cube corner, and saw the Pony Craft movie, and then we went to the arcade, and Scootaloo beat Sweetiebot in Mortal Wormcraft, then I went off with the other Crusader to play Canterlot Race Rally, and Button and Sweetiebot mad a run on Pac Mare trying to get a byte reset! Sweetiebot Almost made it but then shut down and button ran off to fix her! She didn’t beat the game, but she took the high score slot, and I stepped in to put her initials ‘SWB” in the highscore list… which is the same a my initials now that I think about it… huh…”
Rarity blinked slowly, trying to process too much information and formulate a response."I… see." She reached with her magic to pet the top of her little sister. "Darling, dear… You're getting about that age… What do you think of this 'Button' colt, hm?"
Sweetie blinked cluelessly before it clicked. "Sis!" She pawed at Rarity wildly. "We're not dating! Gosh… But he is a friend, and he made an awesome robot! Isn't that cool enough?"
"Very much so." Rarity set the table with snacks and plates. "Very impressive… But he fashioned it to be like you? Isn't that a… signal of sorts? A curious one, but quite clear, I should think."
"Rarity." Sweetie rolled her eyes, horn glowing as she snatched a cookie to chew on. "He's a nerd. He wasn't thinking about that, I promise. He was playing a game."
Rarity quirked an elegant eyebrow at her blase little sister. “Playing a game indeed!” Settling neatly onto a cushion to indulge her own cookie, Rarity shook her perfectly coiffed head. “Dear Sweetiebelle, you mustn’t in turn play the innocent now. Why, this Button Mash’s intentions are abundantly transparent!”
She took a dainty nibble, primly batting her lashes. “Making an automaton in your exact image and form is quite the effort for a ‘little game!’ The poor boy is clearly suffering a dreadful case of puppy love.” Her hoof flitted dramatically to her forehead, mock swooning. “To think you saw fit to forever imprint your ponypersona for his romantic diversion!”
Sweetiebelle choked on her cookie, sputtering indignantly. “Pffbt whaa?!! Sis NO! Blech!” Wiping her muzzle crossly she shook her head. “Geez Louise Rarity...for real, Button Mash isn’t like that!” Taking a seat across from her sister she counted off rebuttals. “One - he’s the most oblivious goof about crushes ever! Two - the robot’s just as into dusty old video games as he is!”
She flopped back, blowing her forelock in mild exhasperation. “If anything him and SweetieBOT are the couple. Button looks way happier playing geeky junk with her than anything romantic!” Giving Rarity a bemused smirk she added teasingly “Maybe YOU should ask the bot out if you’re so convinced Button’s in a swoon!”
Rarity primly ignored the jibe, waving a dismissive hoof. “Bah! Robots replacing real connections...I’d certainly hope as his friend you might set such a poor lonely lad on a wiser path!” She shook her head, curling her tail elegantly about her hooves. “Making the next move remains your responsibility my dear. Not some cold coding no matter HOW dear its visage.” Raising an imperious eyebrow her tone turned sly. “Unless you DO return a certain budding affection? Hmmm?”
Sweetie only snorted. “Oh my gosh Rarity, for real - we’re just buds.” Her tepid denial wavered only a moment. Shaking herself alert again she countered “A-anyway I think HIS feelings matter more here! And Button’s totally sweet on Sweetiebot, er, Botsy from how they hang out!”
She bit her lip uncertainly. “S-so yeah, no worries about real connections or anything!” Sweetie nodded firmly, ignoring a strange pang. “I’m sure they’ll be super happy just gaming the days away heheh...” Trailing off, she stared distantly into space. Hmmm...She quickly stuffed another cookie in her mouth to distract any bothersome thoughts! Just a busy day was all...yeah!
Rarity hid a smirk noting her sister’s transparent wistful faltering. The lady doth protest too much! She sipped her tea knowingly. “Indeed...well should you change your mind, my door is always open darling!” With that she breezily engaged Sweetiebelle on her OTHER adventures about town that day. But oh, her little crush was plain as day no matter how she denied it! Not that Rarity would directly embarrass her over it...playing matchmaker however? Well now! The fashionista subtly began brewing ideas for some coordinating racing jackets as Sweetie chattered on brightening by the minute...
Author's Note
Sometimes you just need to recharge and consider the day, right?
Join the special community of folks who like my stories and/or get your own here at
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Sweetie Belle marched back and forth between the two she had called. "You're here because I'm challenging you." She swerved in place at Sweetie Bot and Button Mash. "You made her--" She pointed at Sweetie Bot. "To look like me." She pointed at herself.
"This is correct." If there were any issues, Sweetie Bot appeared ignorant of them.
Button laughed nervously. "Y-yeah… Um… Are you mad?"
Sweetie's horn glowed, tugging on a tassel to pull down a sheet, revealing a wall full of pictures of Sweetie Belle taken from various angles. "These were captured by my family. Rarity, mom, dad, cousins… They love taking pictures."
Button inclined his head at the grand display of Sweetie Belle pictures. "Wow… Um, so… What do you want us to do with that?"
Sweetie slapped a pointer she was holding in her magic against the board. "We will judge how well your creation matches me. If you score over 90%, you succeed. Why 90%? Well, she is a robot. Some allowances just feels fair…"
As Sweetie pointed dramatically between her elaborate array of candid photos and the blinking Sweetie Bot, Button rubbed his neck in apprehension. Was this a test?? What even WAS a passing grade for ‘accurately’ replicating a pony chassis? And how mad was she about the whole thing anyway??
Sweetie Bot however seemed wholly unfazed by their pending judgement. “Excellent idea! Quantifying my fabricational fidelity will provide valuable insights on potential improvement vectors.”
She peered studiously at Sweetiebelle’s vast array of reference images. “I will grade my own accuracy first to minimize subjectivity!” Clasping her hooves, Sweetie Bot eagerly went to work scrutinizing every curve, angle and proportion of her template’s form.
As the robot muttered rapidly, overlaying her visual data with the picture set and extrapolating minute measurements, Button anxiously watched Sweetie for clues if this whole setup was innocent fun or secret displeasure. But ironically her expression gave away little! Though maybe she was suppressing a smirk...gah what did it mean?!
“Analysis complete!” Sweetie Bot suddenly announced. “Accounting for cosmetic microvariations in my fabricated coat texture relative to organic hair follicles, I rate my overall faithfulness to Sweetie Belle primary physical presentation a 92.6% match within a .03% margin of error!” She smiled proudly at her assessment.
Button let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding as she rated herself well within the set metrics! Though Sweetie herself remained pokerfaced...stepping forward, he ventured cautiously “S-so by your scoring...did I do good?” Laughing anxiously, he scuffed a hoof waiting for her judgment.
Sweetiebelle's brows fell together. She poked Button with her pointer. "Your bot just told me I wasted my time. If she wasn't so cute, I'd be mad at her."
“Wait!” Button shouted desperately. “What did I do wrong?”’
“You just made her to look like me….” Sweetiebelle fumed. “It was all looks! You just wanted a cute pony to play games with!”
Button desperately tried to align the events of the day with his current circumstances. With warm cheeks, he recoiled. "Is that, um, so bad?" But Sweetbelle was glaring at him all the harder. "Who wouldn't want a cute pony to play with?"
Sweetie Bot inclined her head precisely. "He thinks you are cute."
Button squeaked, waving frantically as Sweetiebelle’s glare intensified. “N-no wait, that came out weird!! I just meant-”
But Sweetie Bot continued cheerfully on, heedless of his flustered protests behind her. “You are quite visually appealing yes, but more importantly you exhibit admirable personal qualities!” Turning, she nodded reassuringly to Button Mash.
“Button created me not purely for aesthetic appreciation purposes, but to share substantive experiences with an emulative personality construct!” Taking Sweetiebelle’s hooves, she met her organic twin’s gaze earnestly.
“He wanted a Sweetie Belle to game and laugh with specifically because YOU brought him joy he wished to recreate!” Letting go with an affectionate head tilt, she gestured back to her nervous creator. “I was crafted to reflect the kindest, smartest, most fun parts of the pony before us now!”
Curling a hoof proudly to herself she proclaimed “In short, he made me in hopes I could make more friends as cool as his favorite - you!” Sweetie Bot beamed adoringly between the two, blissfully unSelfconscious about embarrassing admissions. After all in her programming emotional honesty was essential for friendship! Why leave ambiguity?
Sure enough Button was attempting to vanish inside his propeller beanie, brilliantly crimson faced. But Sweetie herself had softened, rubbing a foreleg self consciously. “O-oh! Well that’s...really nice actually.” She shot Button a shy glance, unable to suppress a tinge of pleasure at the sincerity of his awkward attempt at connection through Sweetie Bot.
Clearing her throat gently, she levitated the pointer into its holding bracket. “Ahem! Yes well...I can see this was all in good fun now.” Sweetie scuffed the floor, fiddling the tassel cord. “Sorry if I made you worry, presenting my um, Sweetie Catalog.” She flashed them a wavering grin. “J-just thought it’d be a fun project! No harm done...”
Wide eyes blinked slowly around the Crusader club house. “I just want you’s guys to know that this never happens at the Manehattan branch. I’m just saying.” Babs Seed finally spoke up.
“To be fair cuz, this has been an… odd week for all of us here.” Applebloom gave an embarrassed smile.
“By ‘all of us’, she means Sweetie Belle, Button Mash, and Botsy.” Scootaloo corrected. “Weirdest thing I did was invite Rumble to sit in on the meeting. Sorry Rumble, I did not know Sweetie was gonna do… any of that when she said she was inviting Button and Botsy. I thought we were just bringing friends to the clubhouse…”
“No worries.” Rumble sat back munching popcorn. “Anyone wanna take a five bit bet that this goes sideways and the Sweeties end up dating?”
Sweetie Bot considered her organic double, numbers flashing as she ran them. "If she were interested, I predict a 49% chance of success. I am ready to proceed."
Button tackled her. "No! Override! No!"
"Override accepted." Sweetie Bot nodded, abandoning the idea as simply as that.
Sweetie Belle inclined her head at the exchange. "Was she ready…. Nevermind. Look, let's focus on the really important part." She waved over Sweetie Bot. "You made that! That's… amazing. Seriously, Button, you should be proud, even if she is a living proof of your fascination with me."
Button rubbed the back of his neck, blushing furiously as all eyes swiveled to him. “O-oh! Y-yeah, I’m still really proud of Sweetie Bot and how she’s been progressing socially.” He patted said robot affectionately as she nodded agreeably beside him.
“Indeed!” Sweetie Bot chimed in, draping a congenial hoof over her creator. “While my functionality remains constrained to safe interactive parameters, I have been gathering extensive friendship data across multiple social contexts.” She projected a scrolling holographic chart displaying various behavioral analyses and models under the header [FRIENDSHIP ARCHIVES].
“Observations range from interpersonal dynamics - “ An animation of the Crusaders group hugging played out. “ - to etiquette nuances - “ Rarity sipping ornate tea morphed to Pinkie noisily slurping punch. “- to recreational engagement!” Game sprites gave way to a bouncy dance party.
As the data fritzed out to rainbow static, Sweetie Bot beamed proudly around the circle of politely smiling ponies. “I continue archiving insights toward friendship mastery! My success metrics correlate directly to Button Mash’s design acumen.” She threw a hoof around him in a half hug as he rubbed his neck, grinning self consciously under everypony’s looks.
“Yeah so, heh was just looking to make a good pal is all.” His eyes tracked unconsciously to Sweetie Belle as she smiled back gently.
“I think ya did just fine.” Apple Bloom drawled supportively. “Maybe just uh, work on those combat reflexes. But Botsy here’s a real peach!” Various friends nodded and voiced agreement making Button finally relax, tension giving way to bashful pride.
“Aw thanks everypony...couldn’t ask for better pals - organic OR machine!” Laughing softly, he met Sweetie’s gaze. “Especially you Sweetie...thanks for being cool with your robo-sis and junk.”
Sweetie waved him off with an amused little eye roll. “Pffbt please! I think she’s pretty great.” Leaning conspiratorially toward Button she mock whispered “Just between you and me I think she got the looks AND brains in this equation.” Button snorted as Sweetie shot him a playful smirk. Yeah...he was a pretty lucky guy friend wise, robot and otherwise!
“Yep, you’s guys are just doing normal friendship stuff, like building robot dopplegangers and holding mock legal hearings about said robots.” Babs rolled her eyes with a grin. “But ya know what? At some point it just got so weird that it’s normal again. Wow, cuz, I sure picked the right week to come visit.”
“I know, right?” Rumble laughed out loud. “It’s like that movie ‘Weird Magic’, but it’s an interactive theatre. Honestly, I thought the cutie mark day camp was a one off, oddly weird thing you fillies did, but this is just how you roll. I want in.”
“Wait, what?” Scootaloo did a double take, suddenly aware of her guest.
“I want in on this friend group.” Rumble smirked confidently. “I can be the snarky one.”
“You can’t be the snarky one.” Scootaloo glared daggers at the cocky colt. “I’m the snarky one!”
“Pretty sure you're the competitive one, and you're just being competitive about snark, but fine, you can be the snarky one, and I’ll be the athletic one.” Rumble conceded with a too wide smile.
Sweetie Bot clicked with a finished calculation. "Due to slight imperfections, you win the physical aesthetic competition." She nodded, confident in this, but also not looking at all upset by it.
Sweetie Belle colored at that. "You're saying I win the pretty contest? I…" She rubbed at one warm cheek. "I wasn't even trying…"
"The numbers do not lie," sang out the automaton. "You are superior." She touched noses with her original model. "All praise."
Button burst into giggles. "She's not wrong."
"Button!"
Half the room laughed at the two. Apple Bloom shook her head. "Seriously, you two are somethin' else. Ah seen worse though…"
Sweetie Bot beamed around the circle, oblivious to her template's mortified blushing and Button's mirthful snorting. Clearly optimal socialization continued according to prime directive!
"Validating all my friends' strengths is pivotal to stable interpersonal bonding. Is this assumption in error?" She darted questioning looks between the Crusaders' smirks and Rumble's barely contained guffaws as Sweetie Belle shrank under her mechanically precise praise.
Apple Bloom stifled further snickering with a hoof. "Aw, it ain't so off base, Botsy. Might jus' need a tact filter is all!" Scootaloo nodded sagely, holding up the metaphorical mirror.
"Yeah, like, we can SEE Sweetie Belle's a total looker." Scootaloo smirked at the furiously shrinking filly. "Ya don't gotta SAY it and embarrass her! Even if it's super obvious." Sweetie's burning face completed the absolute picture of mortification.
Button waved frantically, finally recovered enough to intervene on her behalf. "Eheh what Scoots MEANS is, maybe keep the specific compliments between us?" He tried steering Sweetie bot onto a less precarious track. "Focus more on quintessential internal traits!"
Sweetie Bot blinked processing, then brightened. "You imply emphasizing abstract intangibles makes subjects more comfortable receipting praise!" Filtering archived social data she continued carefully. "Shall I highlight metaphysical qualities over precise physical metrics?"
Her friends nodded encouragement. "Bingo! That's using your noggin gears!" Apple Bloom affirmed. "Whatcha makin' of Sweetie Belle otherwise?" She winked slyly Sweetie's way. "Show off that psycho-analyzin'!"
If robots could gulp nervously Sweetie Bot might have as she parsed Sweetie's entire behavioral dossier. "W-well according to my archives her temperament exhibits passion, wit and selfless consideration!" A collection of clips played out displaying Sweetie's laugh, her snarky grin, and the kindness in her eyes. "While mere bytes fail capturing her soul's shine..." Sweetie Bot finished softly, smiling affectionately Sweetie's way.
A collective " Dawww!" rose from the circle at her sincerity. Sweetie Belle managed a touched if still self conscious little half smile back. "Yeah uh, that robot gets it! Good job Button." Scootaloo ribbed him playfully. The inventor colt chuckled, exchanging a wink with his finest creation. Yeah, she was really picking up on this whole friendship thing!
Author's Note
The madness continues, and most ponies involved are alright with this.
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Button woke to a weight pressing on him. That weight had hooves, and was hugging him. "Um?" It was cuddling him, was more accurate, but it was a metal snuggle. "Um…"
Sweetiebot nuzzled at the confused colt's cheek, then slid free to her haunches. "Good morning!"
"Good… morning?" Button slid upright, peering at his creation curiously. "Why did you do that?"
"I wanted your day to start well." She nodded firmly. "Hugs are known to improve both mood and biological processes. Did you enjoy it?"
Button waved a hoof at Sweetiebot. "Ask first! Um… Aside that… You aren't bad at hugging, I guess." He rubbed behind his head with a hoof awkwardly. "No hugs around mom, ever. Ever. Got it?"
"Parameter accepted. Are hugs of mom acceptable?"
Button blinked. "Um, ask her first. If she's okay with it… I guess that's okay?"
“Button dear, is Sweetiebot in your room with you?” The voice of said mom rang out through the house, carrying a gentle but firm undertone. “You better have that door open if I come up there.”
“Yes, ma’am!” Button’s voice broke a little, and he quickly whispered to Sweetiebot. “Quick get off the bed, before she comes up here!”
Sweetiebot blinked at Button then called downstairs cheerily. "Affirmative Ms.Heart! I was just wishing Button good morning before relocating downstairs for optimal social spacing!"
True to her word she lightly hopped off the bed, straightening the slightly rumpled bedspread before skipping to the doorway where she stood beaming innocently.
A few moments later Cream Heart poked her head up to check on the pair, eyes narrowing. But nothing seemed amiss beyond her eccentric son yawning and stretching as the ever polite bot filly waited patiently by.
"Well! Sounds like everypony had a good recharge." Cream smiled bemusedly. Coming fully onto the landing she addressed Sweetiebot. "I've got breakfast going if you'd like to come help set the table dear."
Sweetiebot nodded eagerly. "I would be happy to assist!" As she moved to follow Cream back down though, the mare held up a hoof.
"Ah ah! House rules still apply missy." She winked playfully. "Might want to freshen up a bit before joining civil company."
Sweetiebot blinked then glanced down - her mane was rumpled and hoof brushed from snuggling so aggressively. "Oh! Of course." Giggling sheepishly she quickly smoothed herself pristine again with a few swift swipes. "I shall apply grooming subroutines before leaving private spaces going forward. Thank you for the reminder!"
With another approving glance Cream smiled fully. "Such a good girl! I can see why Button just adores your company." She chuckled indulgently. "Now come along and give me a hoof."
As bot happily trotted after mother down the stairs, Cream added slyly "And while we work perhaps you can regale me with tales of my poor boy's romantic escapades around town..." Button yelped indignantly from his room but Sweetie had already begun happily recounting his gallant video gaming valor! Soon dreamy legends of alien blasting and code cracking mixed with kitchen clatter aroma wafting upstairs.
"Is this what you wanted to hear?" Button hopped up to the table, joining the others. "What games I'm playing?"
Cream rolled her eyes. "No, but she seems so happy telling me about it." She patted Sweetiebot gently. "Who am I to argue about it? Good to hear you're playing good games, at least."
Sweetiebot's eyes flashed with text. "Am I providing incorrect data?"
Cream shook her head at Sweetiebot. "You're just fine. Now, Button, you need to get to school." She drew Sweetiebot closer. "And you're not taking her along. She doesn't need class. She'll help me."
“I am happy to be of assistance!” Sweetiebot chirped happily.
As Button walked down the cheerful streets of Ponyville, a gentle breeze spun his beanie-propeller. Suddenly, he was accosted by a gray, winged missile, his head firmly locked into optimal noogie positioning. “Wassup, Mashup?” Rumble cheerfully proclaimed as he generously applied noogies to his friend's head. “Where’s Botsy?”
“Rumble! Cut it out!” Button protested while flailing for freedom. "Mom didn't let me take her to school."
"Ugh, moms." He released Button with a shove, knocking him away. "They're like that. Oh well, guess school isn't allowed to be fun, as usual."
"Tell me about it." Forgetting the discomfort instantly, Button trotted along with Rumble towards education. "Wonder what she'll get up to while I'm gone…"
Sweetiebot moved the heavy shelving unit three inches precisely to the left. "Is this the desired location?"
Cream clapped at the little automaton's strength. "Exactly. You are such a helpful little thing."
Sweetiebot’s tail swished happily at the validation. "Thank you! My strength regulation circuitry allows for highly controlled telekinesis use." With a faint *whir* the stout metal plating along her back opened partially, articulated arms folding out to lift the next piece of furniture.
"Multi-axis limb actuators plus stabilizing gyroscopes afford extensive load tolerance in a compact chassis!" Moving slowly around the room, Sweetiebot neatly reorganized cabinets, chairs and decor according to Cream Heart's layout plans. Within a few minutes the living room and kitchen sported a fresh, tidy arrangement with plenty of space for guests or games.
Sweetiebot carefully retracted her manipulator arms, covering panels sliding smoothly back into place once her work was complete. She beamed proudly at Cream. "Task accomplished! Please advise if any further adjustments are required."
The lone mother couldn't help an impressed head shake at the helpful creation. "My word! No need dear, you arranged everything perfectly." She chuckled. "First time I'll actually enjoy having company over if it stays this orderly." Affectionately patting the robot, she nodded toward the hall closet. "Now, for an extra challenge - think you can hang some new art pieces on the walls? I know you'll handle them gently..."
Eager at the responsibility, Sweetiebot tromped over to retrieve carefully levitated framed photos and paintings. "New home decoration deployment commencing!" Selecting a lovely floral piece first, she analyzed the wall dimensions and available stud points. "Optimal mounting location determined! Adjustable screw grippers installed..." Sticking out an adroit tongue in focus, Sweetiebot extruded a pair of delicate manipulators from each front hoof, affixing and aligning the hanging hardware with care. Soon the first picture was perfectly placed and secured.
"Steven Magnet would be most satisfied with this composition!" Sweetie declared admiringly. She blinked at a befuddled Cream Heart. "Query: do you require definition clarification of the textual reference?"
The mare shook her head bemusedly. "I'm alright dear, you just keep at it!" She watched the cheerful bot select the next piece and trot over scanning more wall real estate. My word! Beneath that cute exterior hid frightening levels of versatile engineering! Button's bizarre passion had yielded astounding fruit. Shaking her head with a wry smirk, Cream left her to the tagging and rejoined her own cleaning regimen. What an odd, but charming, family hers was becoming.
“Hey Button, hey Rumble!” A familiar trio of fillies were waiting to meet them at the school yard.
Button Mash moved into somewhat rushed trot, stopping just in front of Sweetie Belle, before suddenly blushing fiercely. “Uh… hi Sweetie, we sure had a wild weekend, huh?”
“Hiya, girls.” Rumble swaggered up with a broad grin. “Back to old Monday grind, am I right?”
“Whatever.” Scootaloo rolled her eyes at the pegasus colt. “So I take it your mom said no taking Botsy to school?”
“Yeah.” Button rubbed the back of his head shyly. “Mom’s got all kinda weird rules about Sweetiebot.”
“Granny Smith’s the same way whenever Tender Taps comes over. All of sudden I gotta leave all the doors open… ugh…” Applebloom nodded sagely.
“”Yeah, Rarity has the same rule for Scootaloo.” Sweetie glanced sidelong at her orange friend.
“Geez!” Scootaloo rolled her eyes with a scowl. “It was just one magazine, that one time! I thought it was about cutie marks!”
Button inclined his head. "While I'm kinda curious… We should get inside." He pointed to class.
Sweetie grabbed him, one arm over his withers. "There's no hurry! The education will be there for us even if we just talk a little."
Button's cheeks darkened at the close contact with the filly. "Sure!"
Rumble snorted and looked away, leaving Button to deal with his own issues. "See you inside."
Button realized he was rapidly being left alone with Sweetie. "Is this when you punch me or throw me in the trash?"
Sweetie suddenly shoved him. "Why would I do that? Am I that kinda pony?!"
"No?"
"Then I won't be doing that." She rolled her eyes as a smile returned. "I've been thinking… A colt builds something that fancy, looking like a specific other pony… That's a message. And there's really only a few ways I can take it."
Each word made Button tense a little harder, imagining what terrible response was coming next. "Yeah?"
"One:" She raised a hoof. "I can pretend nothing happened. No. Two:" She raised the other hoof. "I can fall wildly in love." She said it in a lovey-dovey sort of way. "Also not happening. Three." She had no more hooves, so she put them down. "I could get angry, but I don't feel angry…"
Button let out a loud exhale at that news. "Glad to hear that… So what are you feeling?"
Sweetie Belle blushed, glancing sidelong at Button through her mane shyly. "...I'm flattered," she finally admitted, scraping the dirt. "I mean, a super genius gadget inventor puts all THAT effort into making me? Er, mostly-me super bot? Just to be his friend?" She managed a wavering but warm smile over at him.
"That's one of the nicest gifts ever! Even if her hugs can probably crush a house." Sweetie giggled at his flustered expression of relief. "I still don't really get exactly WHY you picked me honestly...but I know in your weird inventor way this was trying hard at something nice!" She leaned over, sincerely meeting his gaze. "So thank you for that, Button Mash."
She scooted a tiny bit closer, brushing shoulders and flashing extra eyesparkles his way. "And thank you for wanting my company enough to hunt down enough parts to build a whole pony for it! Even if maybe ask next time before making a fake me eh?" Sweetie playfully elbowed him...though she did not actually move away again, seeming content to linger at gentle foal-friend closeness.
"B-but yes! I like spending time with you too! Bot or otherwise...you're pretty great Button." She smiled radiantly over at him, face gently coloring. "Now what do ya say we get inside before class starts without us, and you can tell me about whatever awesome upgrades you'll give Sweetiebot next!" Laughing brightly she stood, offering him a congenial hoof up. "C'mon super genius!" She charged into the schoolhouse, not giving him time to ask further questions.
“Not so fast!” A grey, spectacled filly called out defiantly.
“Oh, hi Silver, hi Diamond!” Sweetie cheerfully waved at her former bullies.
“Don’t you ‘hi Silver’ me!” Silver Spoon snapped angrily.
Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes with a long suffering sigh. “Can we please not do this…”
Sweetie blinked at the two fillies, confusion growing. "Did you need something?"
"I need a lot of things." Silver prodded Sweetie in the chest. "But first! How dare you get a boyfriend before I do! Not fair! Not even a little fair. I even went through the trouble of making a robot of my own, and here you are, making moves before I can!"
Sweetie Belle blinked slowly at Silver Spoon in bewilderment. "Uhhh...." Her expression morphed to vaguely disturbed suspicion as the grey filly's fury amplified over...everypony having relationship milestones before her?
"I....think you're a little confused, first off. Buttons and I aren't 'a thing!'" She blushed but pushed on firmly. "And making your own robot of anypony to force a date would be...real weird?" Button coughed awkwardly, uncomfortably wedged against the locked schoolhouse door as Silver ranted directly into Sweetie's face mere inches away.
Diamond strode over, firmly tucking her fuming friend against her side flank in a secure hug. "C'mon Silver....let's all take a nice deeeep breath hmm?" She shot the nervous Button and Sweetie an apologetic look.
"Sorry everypony...Silver gets a liiittle worked up over certain stuff." The silvery filly growled something unintelligible, prompting Diamond to squeeze her closer, crooning gently. "I knooow sweetie...we'll find you a very nice colt who appreciates your, ahem, enthusiasm?" Shooting the pair a sly wink she steered Silver firmly away toward the classroom.
"Why don't I introduce you to Pipe Down? I hear he collects stickers..." Silver looked utterly aghast at the suggestion but let herself get tugged inside, hissing violent sticker-related threats under her breath. Diamond just rolled her eyes affectionately. "That's the spirit!" With a breezy laugh she disappeared within, Silver in reluctant tow.
Letting out an explosive breath, Sweetie slowly turned back to an equally bewildered Button, managing an awkward grin. "...Well THAT was a thing! Sorry bout getting all up in your space over it." She scuffed the dirt, not making eye contact. The morning bell chose that instant to blare out, causing both young ponies to yelp in surprise.
Sweetie squeaked, seizing his hoof in her own. "C'mon, let's get to class already!" With that she yanked him stumbling alongside into school, putting the odd interlude firmly out of mind. She had FAR better uses of brainspace for their lessons! Like contemplating a certain somepony's brilliant inventiveness...the warmth of his hoof in hers made focusing a smidge difficult however. Oh well! She'd manage...humming happily Sweetie swung their joined limbs playfully. Maybe old Silver sorta had a point about moving things along though...
Author's Note
The shenanigans only grow! Boundaries shift around her lively actors.
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Cream smiled at the real Sweetie. "Finally. There's the pony." She waved Sweetie inside. "Come in, come in." She guided Sweetie along into the living room. "Button! You have a guest!" She hollered out with practice.
Button came at a gallop. "A guest? Who? Oh Hey." A second set of hurried hooves came behind him, Sweetiebot joining him. "Wow, both Sweeties," he laughed out nervously. "What brings you by?"
Sweetie Belle nodded at Button and Cream. "Thank you for inviting me in. Button, I wanted to talk to you."
He cringed with worry. "Are you mad?"
"No." She hopped up onto the sofa and sank on it. "Sit." He sat like a well-trained little colt. "We just talked before. I'm not mad at you. We've been friends for… moons. But never more than… surface. I want to try poking just a little further."
Sweetie Bot sat and clapped her hooves eagerly. "Friendship level gained!" Triumphant music issued from within her. "Do we gain a perk to spend on this level?"
“There. Are. Rules.” Sweetie Belle clopped a hoof firmly. “You can only date one us. The other one is the sister. Rule two, if you blow it with one of us, you blow it with both of us. If you wanna do this, Botsy stays with me.”
Cream inclined her head at the curious exchange of the foals before her. She remained quiet for the time.
Button's eyes boggled, bouncing rapidly between Sweetie Belle's sudden forthright gaze and her sternly cheerful robot twin beside her. Date?? SISTER?! Was he hallucinating out of anxious excitement or did Sweetie Belle legit just volunteer herself as a...a girlfriend option?!
Sweetiebot gasping dramatically and throwing forelegs around the thoroughly stunned filly seemed to confirm this was ACTUALLY REALITY. "Acquiring sibling! I am so happy I could cry! Please enjoy your courtship parameters - I will be the most supportive sister unit ever!" She nuzzled her "sibling" elatedly as Sweetie Belle snorted in amused exasperation.
"H-hold up!" Button finally managed to cough out, face positively incandescent as his pulse hammered wildly. Waving frantic hooves between the eagerly snuggling pair, he stammered "You...you really wanna try, uh, like dating stuff Sweetie Belle?? With a dweeb like me? This isn't another bot hug prank??"
His eyes darted to his silently smiling mother, hoping for some signal this was or wasn't an elaborate fever dream. Cream merely sipped her tea with a Cheshire grin, contentedly observing the adorable drama unfold. No help there!
Swallowing hard, Button turned back to Sweetie Belle, trying and failing to grasp how this was really happening! "I-I mean, not that I would ever wanna say no!" He laughed awkwardly as Sweetiebot nodded emphatic encouragement beside the mildly smirking filly. "I just kinda can't believe my luck...you're the coolest Sweetie Belle!" Giving her his goofiest, most genuine smile Button extended a hoof. "Sooo...wanna player two my heart?"
The cringey line prompted muffled cackling from Cream and a delighted squee from Sweetiebot. But Button stood by it proudly. After all...he WAS asking out the sweetest gal around! So might as well be true to his gamer spirit. Right? Laughing nervously he shot Sweetie a helpless 'what do ya say?' shrug. However she decided, having his brilliant friend by his side now too felt like winning regardless!
Sweetie waved a hoof slowly. "You should feel bad for that one." She leaned forward with a little smile. "But I am pressing start on this one." The laugher of Cream echoed around them. "Your mom is really… enjoying this." She rubbed her cheek. "My parents are way more hooves off."
“Just so you know, if you chose Botsy, I was still taking her, and if you get weird with my sister, It. Is. On.” Sweetie shot a predatory grin.
“I like her!” Cream heart grinned wickedly.
“I hugged Button when he woke up!” Sweetiebot cheerfully declared. “It was chaste, wholesome, and nothing at all to be concerned about.”
“Thank you dear.” Cream heart smiled at Sweetiebot and and then turned to Sweetie Belle, “Thank you.”
"Yeah, thanks." Button rubbed at one arm with the other hoof. "Look, Sweetie." Both Sweeties looked at him. "Belle. If we're talking… dating…" He colored furiously. "There's only one actual choice." He pointed at Belle. "Sweetiebot is a great friend, and fantastic play buddy, but I didn't make her to date her…"
Sweetie Belle nodded sagely as Button clarified in no uncertain terms that his robotic recreation was purely a platonic social stand-in...not romantic material. Probably wise to set those boundaries firmly! "Right as rain Button! Don't wanna muddle a good buddy bond."
She reached over giving Sweetiebot an affectionate one-armed hug and nuzzle despite the oddness of hugging her metallic twin. "Ain't that right sis?" Sweetiebot blinked then broke into a smile that threatened to split her faceplate.
"Oh absolutely! My social affiliation priorities place all friends on equal hoofing regardless." Returning Sweetie Belle's nuzzle gently she added "But the familial connection definitely takes highest precedent!" Giggling happily, the robot filly gave her template another firm but calculated-not-to-crush squeeze.
"However as the surrogate sister unit I am coded to be protective!" Leaning around Sweetie Belle she narrowed her optical lenses at Button in an exaggerated scrutiny. "Therefore I will be compiling extensive background checks on your romantic intentions Mr. Mash!" Waving a stern hoof she pronounced in a ridiculous drill instructor tone "One step outta line buster and you'll answer to ME!"
Her faux boot camp barrage dissolved into snorting laughter a moment later however. "...But truly your documented character metrics already align with ideal coltfriend principles!" Beaming Sweetiebot shoulder bumped the furiously blushing Button playfully. "So pending continued priority behavioral updates I fully approve the pairing!"
Sweetie Belle just dissolved into helpless giggles falling onto her side at her robot sis' antics. "PFFAHAHA Botsy you are TOO MUCH! Where the hey did Button's wacky brain even pull your nutty personality from?"
Said inventor rubbed his burning face groaning embarrassedly. But seeing his crazy robo-creation get along so smashingly well with her organic template? His hammering heart swelled happily regardless. Building Sweetiebot felt like the best decision he'd ever made - glitches, quirks, hugs and all!
Cream observed it all with a knowing motherly smile. Taking a sip silently, she caught Button's glance her way. I told you so! her grin communicated wordlessly. You've got yourself a real keeper there! Pride and encouragement shone in her gaze. Yeah...he sure felt like the luckiest dweeb in Equestria alright!
Button gave a nervous chuckle. “Actually, training the AI was the really tricky part. Anypony with my schematics and access to the parts could build the basic chassis… Luckily I kept the schematics safe and sound in my diary!”
“Thank goodness for that!” Sweetie laughed lightheartedly. “We wouldn’t want this technology falling into the wrong hooves.”
For a reason she couldn’t place, Cream Heart’s “mom-sense” caused her left eye to twitch.
“Wanna go to the arcade?” Button asked with a happy grin.
Sweetie bonked Button gently. "You are addicted to that. Today, your girlfriend is dragging you out to the park."
"What?" He complained, but he let her drag her away to spend some time doing something besides his beloved games. He'd have to stretch out a bit to fit another pony in his life, but some part of him felt like it would be worth the price of admission.
Sweetiebot trailed behind with a bright smile, perfectly happy with her creator and sister. "Should I get nutritious snacks for the occasion?"
“What about Snails?” Diamond Tiara suggested, as Silver Spoon tinkered with a pony shaped machine hidden beneath a fabulous high-thread count bed sheet in Silver’s basement. “He’s like a Buckball star now. And he’s nice… even charming in a certain zen and the art of vacuous kinda way…”
“Don’t you get it, Dee Tee?” Silver seethed. “Sweetie never even talked about Button in her diary! She took somepony I liked just because I liked him! She knew because I said it in my diary! Grrr! There should be rules about spying on other pony’s diaries!”
“How did you learn how to build a robot, anyway?” Diamond cast suspicious eyes on her friend.
“That’s not important!” Silver Spoon screamed.
"What is important." She touched the soldering iron in place a delicate moment. "Is that I get this right…"
Button took a deep breath of the fresh spring air, a blissful smile plastered on his face. For once his gaze lingered on the vibrant flowering trees and chattering birds rather than the blinking lure of arcade screens as he strolled hoof in hoof through the Ponyville park with his new special somepony Sweetie Belle. And her robot twin sister of course - Sweetiebot trailed a few paces behind, cooing delightedly over colorful butterflies and industriously scribbling 'nature notes' into a small observation journal.
Gotta admit, getting dragged out into the sunshine wasn't Button's first activity choice for their inaugural kinda-sorta-date. But seeing Sweetie's eyes light up smelling the lilac bushes as she swung their joined hooves playfully? Yeahhh he could get used to more walks in the park if it made her smile that sweetly! Even if the sunshine glare off Sweetiebot's chassis was nearly blinding him.
"Sooo uh, having fun so far?" Button ventured shyly, giving Sweetie's hoof a gentle squeeze. "I know this isn't as exciting as the arcade or whatever but, figured I should try doing more...y'know, normal dating stuff!" He grinned self consciously as she giggled.
"Are you kidding? This is great!" Sweetie gave him a radiant smile that set his cheeks aflame. "Honestly way better than getting holed up indoor all day playing games." At his nervous chuckle she bumped him affectionately. "I mean don't get me wrong, games are super fun WITH you! But everypony needs fresh air and exploration too."
She winked slyly his way. "Gotta get that Vitamin D so a certain somepony doesn't turn into a total Mole Pony."
"Pfft, oh, ha ha," Button shot back, unable to hide his grin regardless. She wasn't wrong - between marathon gaming sessions, angsty coding marathons, and angsty journal writing marathons, he didn't exactly spend a ton of time soaking sunlight. "Buuut I guess I can suffer through for an awesome date like you," he managed cheekily, eliciting another melodious laugh from his enchanting player two. Oh yeah, he was crushing hard! But the sunshine felt a little brighter knowing she kinda was too...
"I support increased solar exposure as well!" Sweetiebot piped up, having gathered a hoof full of interesting sticks and leaves and Celestia knew what else during her nature inventories. "Your melanin production could use improvement! Also Vitamin D promotes-"
"Hah we get it, thanks Sissy Bot!" Sweetie interrupted with an affectionate eye roll. Falling back to walk beside the robot filly she gave her a playful nudge. "Buuut maybe lay off the science reports 'kay? Nature is for feeling!" Sweetiebot blinked thoughtfully as Sweetie waved a hoof across the scenic landscape. "Just look around! Ain't it pretty?"
Her twin gave a performative gasp. "You are quite right organic sister! My factual fixation filters out experiential appreciation!" Dropping her samples, Sweetiebot extended her sensors fully, inhaling an imaginary breeze. "The variability of stimuli here provides endless creative inspiration!" Spinning with outstretched limbs she exclaimed "We must integrate more organic recreation going forward!"
Laughing brightly she zipped back over to bump flanks affectionately with Sweetie Belle before circling an amused Button Mash. "Fun drives at 110%!"
Button inclined his head at Sweetie Bot. "It should stop at 100. Huh, remind me to check that later."
Sweetie Belle swatted at him. "She's joking!"
"I am not." Sweetiebot looked confused at the idea. "The sensors read 110%"
Though not perfect, Button hugged his two Sweeties. "We'll figure it out, later. For now, stop looking at that and let's, you know, have fun."
They dashed off together, having a life that was surely free of any noteworthy incidents from then forward.
Author's Note
This was a somewhat silly little romance. We had fun writing it. I hope you enjoyed reading it.
There may be a sequel, maybe? We'll see.
Join the special community of folks who like my stories and/or get your own here at
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Join my discord to chat!
