Lost Tales of Equestria: Solitude

by MetalSlimeEater

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Romance, Sex, Limestone Pie, Cloudy Quartz, Slice of Life, Tirek, Princess Luna, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 8020

A near death experience forces a scientist down a new path of life

Ethyl Alcol had been a well liked and well received scientist among those of his field, specifically in his contributions to the study of achohol and its effects on the various species in Equestria. However, when a experimental test goes horribly wrong Ethyl finds himself lucky to be alive, though in the aftermath the effects of his brush with death leaves the stallion no longer able to stomach the very subject he built his career on. Stuck within a divide of what he once was and what hes been reduced to now, Ethyl leaves Canterlot to come to terms with what the future holds for him...and perhaps learn to find his place in the world, a place that might make him truly happy once again.

"Welcome to the Lost Tales, a series where one small piece on the board can change the fate of a whole world. Follow Along, and see what comes of this world"
~Author

Disclaimer: Red tag included are purely for the sake of the innuendo dropped by a character in the story or hinted actions by characters.

Published 2024-01-17 17:20:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-01-22 01:29:58 UTC

Chapter 1

"Good morning, class!"

Even standing outside of the classroom, the stallion could hear the shrill voice of the teacher on the other side of the oak door beside him. From what the EEA had told him, the teacher inside the was a Ms. G'nome, an older mare and was a rather highly regarded expert on the subject of chemistry. She had apparently asked for him by name to help open up the topic to her students...though why she decided to waste her talents simply teaching students and not making advancements in science was a mystery to the stallion.

Maybe she did try to follow that path, and met enough resistance to where she settled for less? The stallion pondered, adjusting the collar of his labcoat as he tried push that particular thought out of his mind as he heard the old mare speak up again, her voice somehow getting higher pitched.

"As you all know, our subject this week was on the topic of inebration and it's diverse effect on different creatures. Today, I called in a expert in this field to help you all understand why this subject was recently added into your curriculum alongside your regular lessons."

That would be my cue then... The unicorn straightened the coat around his body and opened the door, walking into the class just as G'nome introduced him.

"Welcome in Dr. Alcol, the leading scientist in Alcohology and the guest speaker for todays class." The mare, sporting (In the doctors opinion) a rather sickly green shade of coat and a pale white mane that barely reacher her neck, took a seat by her desk and allowed Alcol to take center stage.

"Greetings everyone, how are you all today?" Alcol began, and as expected most of the class seemed taken aback from the baritone voice that emerged from the navy blue unicorn in front of them, allowing the doctor a moment to scan his audience and see what he was working with.

As expected, mostly unicorns in this course, with the exception of a couple earth ponies in the back. His eyes quickly shifted from specifics among each student to a general glance at the class as a whole. And only one stallion in a class thirty-two strong? A shame more stallions don't appreciate the finer arts of a higher education.

A yellow hoof went up in the front row, and Alcol motioned to it with a nod as two ember eyes interlocked with his silvery irises.

"What exactly are you explaining to us, Sir?" The young mare asked in a voice that wavered in and out of maturity. Alcol made note of the rather large amount of note taking materials on her desk compared to the other classmates, and couldn't help but smile.

She must one of the more studious among the others here, yet she seems a few years younger than the other students...another prodigy unicorn in one decade?

"I'm glad you asked." The doctor replied, and pulled a bottle of Applejack DanielsTM (Paid for at quite the low price from a farm in ponyville, in which the farm mare had given him a 50% discount alongside a mailing address he never planned on writing back to) and let it levitate beside him with a touch of pale-white magic. "This, as most of you probably know, is Alcohol. Now, when a pony consumes a certain amount of this beverage they can find themselves under a myraid of possible side effects depending on multiple factors such as age, gender, or even your race."

Glancing at several faces in the crowd to make sure the majority of them were following along, and seeing that they were, the doctor continued. "Now, who could list off a few of these effects for me? Don't be shy, now."

"Loss of orientation and stability during flight for Pegasi!" An eager mare in the back of the class called out before realizng how loud she had been and hunkering down in a red-faced ponypile of embarrassment on her desk, refusing to look the doctor in the eye as some of her classmates giggled at the outburst.

"Unpredictable and uncontrollable magic surges in unicorns and their attempts at spells." A quieter, yet even moreso detached mare answered as well, seeming to be interested in writing in her notepad than paying much attention to the doctor.

"A-A severed connection from the land for earth ponies, alongside losing the ability to control their natural strength." The lone stallion among the class spoke up, though his gaze seemed to darken somewhat, making the doctor wonder if his answer came from experiencing the effects somehow.

"All correct answers, alongside the general effects of being inebrated such as an impaired mental ability and decision making and the rather horrible hangover the next day." With a quick flash of his horn, the bottle floating next to him began to do a small spin as the Alcol continued his lecture. "Now, what unique effects does inebration do to a griffon? Or perhaps a changeling, if they can even get drunk at all?"

The class was collectively quieter now, and their rather obvious lack of knowledge on the subject at hand was exactly why Alcol had began his research in this subject to begin with.

"I have noticed no one seems as eager to respond to these questions, and that is why I am here." The spinning bottle stops as it drops right into an outstreched hoof by the doctor and safely placed back on the inside of his lab coat. "As you all know, a few weeks ago the Elements of Harmony and a solid portion of creatures from around the world banded together to turn a group of rampaging villians to stone. After which, the princess of friendship officially opened our borders to all species that seeked friendship and harmony, thereby ending any ideals and previous connotations of a harmony for ponies only." Taking a second to clear his throat and gauge the room once more, finding he now had everponies attention, the doctor smile grew ever slightly wider.

"Of course, with such an act, the princess has managed to cause a massive upheavel of the education system, especially when it comes to both biological, historical and economical studies of these new creatures that are now an active part of our community. Which is why its important that you all not only know what inebration does to your fellow ponies, but to our new fellow creatures as well."

Rolling his neck and hearing a delightful pop (one that left a few ponies shaken, to the doctors amusement) Alcol motioned to the chalkboard behind him depicting what looked like a blunt syllabus for the semester with a hoof.

"In fact, from here on out expect quite a few changes to all of your classes to better educate both yourselves and your fellow students on the inner workings of our new friends." Turing back to the class, Alcol let his smile drop as his demeanor switched to business mode, dropping all pretenses of making this lesson about fun and games. "Now, be ready to copy down what I say next..."

"I must thank you for sticking around and speaking to each of my classes, Doctor." G'nome exclaimed joyfully as she cleaned off her chalkboard and turned to Alcol with a beaming smile. "I knew I made a right choice in asking for you, your reputation precedes you well."

Giving the mare a simple nod, Alcol waved away the praise as he put his lab coat back on. Over the course of the classes he had agreed to lecture, it had slowly gotten hotter in the building, forcing the doctor to leave his coat off for the last two classes that day. Multiple of the students had quite the reaction when walking in on a sweaty stallion undressing in front of their professor...

It had taken half the class period to stop the gossip train from leaving that particular station.

"Speak nothing of it, Professor. Any chance to help better educate others in my research is a gem that regretfully doesn't happen too often."

Of course, he'd rather do it with other scientists than a bunch of greenhorns, but the good doctor decided to keep that to himself.

"And what a necessary subject as well. With all these new creatures and their health and dietary needs to account for, the last thing we need is for something dreadful to happen to somepony due to somepony's ignorance."

For a brief moment, the doctor froze as his gaze hardened. Standing in place for a second, he shook the stupor off long enough to give the elderly professor in front of him a curt nod.

"...Right, well take care Ms. G'nome." Alcol replied before teleporting out of the room in a white flash, leaving a rather confused mare in his wake.

"Oh dear, was it somthing I said?" The mare asked aloud, unaware that a couple blocks away another flash of light illuminated Alcols return to his office, though the doctor barely registered this fact as his thoughts were elsewhere.

"Somepony's ingorance, huh?" Alcol whispered as he glanced at a picture on the desk in front of him that was laying face down, and had done so for several years. "Why do old ponies have to be so good at pressing buttons."

Sitting down in his desk chair, a rather nice velvet seat with little wheels on the bottom to allow for random bursts of fun in the office, the doctor laid his head on the desk and took in the oh so familiarity of his second home.

Each wall that didn't have a window or a bookshelf blocking it was lined with pictures and achievements Alcol had massed over a near decade of working in Alcohology. He still found it apalling that he had been the first of ponykind to try and study what other creatures effects from achohol were, even back then when the idea of a inclusive harmony would get you laughed out of Canterlot.

Pulling that same bottle of Applejack Daniels from his coat, Alcols thoughts kept drifting back to what that mare had said, something said so nonchalantly with no intention of summoning the skeletons in his closet but had done so regardless.

"It's been almost a decade since then...I've pushed the limits of modern day science and alcohol studies to the brink and back, and I STILL can't get you out of my head!?!" Slamming the bottle against the doorway across from the doctor, Alcol let out a frustrated yell as he slammed the previously full hoof on the desk, splintering the section and sending little wood chips in various directions.

"Sir?"

Shooting up quickly, Alcol looked up and noticed a red coated colt looking back, having taken cover and narrowly avoided the glass bottle and its shards. The poor colt looked worried, as he usually did when something like this happened.

"Ah, Skystar. My apologies for the...mess." Alcol responded as he watched the colt charge his horn and make the glass and stain disappear in a neon flash before turning back with a small smile.

"No problem, Doctor! We all have a few inner demons that get to us now and then, even the Alicorns aren't immune to those sort of problems." Skystar exclaimed with a chuckle before he gave the doctor a concerned stare. "But the memories are hauntin you still?"

A nod from the doctor was all Skystar needed to prance over and give the blue unicorn a hug. He may had orignally signed on to the doctors assistant for the perks and the scholarship opportunities, but Skystar had quickly learned that Dr. Ethyl Alcol (He hated that first name with a passion, though the colt hasn't managed to worm it out of the stallion as to why, let alone what type of secrets the good doctor was hiding) was quite the unique researcher. Though he could come off as snide and dispassionate at times, he genuinally had a caring heart and his focus of study proved that.

"It's ok, Sir. I don't know what ghosts your fighting, but you have my complete and absolute support." The colt smiled slyly and elbowed the doctor, getting a grunt in return. "Unless your finally going to open up to your loyal assistant at last?"

Suppressing a snort, Alcol pushed himself away from the colt via wheelie chair, fixing him with a level stare as he fought with his face to not smile.

"Loyal my flanks, weren't you late to work three days ago due to your futile efforts to woo the doctor three doors down from mine?"

Skystar gasped dramatically, and pointed an accusing hoof at Alcol, who now had adopted an oh so annoying smug grin.

"I thought we agreed to never speak of that again, you mule! How was I supposed to know she was dating Ted from accounting?"

For a moment silence reigned over the room as the two stallions stared each other down...before laughter began to replace the once dreary atmosphere the room held.

"Honestly, Skystar, I am quite surprised you haven't already moved on from working for me and started your own career yourself. I've seen the grades you get at Celestia's school for Gifted Unicorns and you could easily make waves among the best of us in biological studies if you tried." Alcol admitted, causing his assistant to look at him in adverse shock.

"You really think I've got that much potential, Sir?" Skystar asked before shaking his head. "I dont know about that, though. For now, I'm content with being your lab assistant. You've taught me so much, and I'm not quite ready to leave the nest yet so to speak."

Seeing the now bashful teen look so unsure didn't sit right with the doctor, especially with so much raw knowledge untapped withen the colts cranium. However, Alcol barely surpressed a smirk when an idea came to the forefront of his mind, something that may help spark Skystars flame.

"Actually, there's something I've been setting up for a few months, involving my studies into other species effects with alcohol." Alcol stated, opening up a cabinet nearby and pulling out a file with a hoof-full of names and descriptions inside. "I managed to finally convince the crown to let me give some questionably reasonable amounts of alcohol to some of the more aggressive species on this list, and I'm going to need a hand in catalouging the data during the tests...in a safe location of course." The good doctor added on at last second, making sure he didn't scare off the colt from the project.

However, Skystars eyes went wide as he jumped up from his desk and clapped his hooves merrily, erasing any worry from Alcols thoughts.

"Are you asking me to take part in an ACTUAL experiment? Like the one the science books say you did with the princess Luna's Night Guard?"

Eyes widening at the forced recollection of THAT particular experiment, Alcol had to force out a cough to hide his reddening face at the memories resurfacing from that eventful night.

Thestrals really know how to consume their liquor...among other things.

"Y-Yes, though this experiment won't need to be censored by the press." The doctor stated, getting up from his chair and motioning for Skystar to follow. "Now come, before we get to the fun bits we must prepare the lab for our visitors tomorrow, as well as make sure everything is in place for the experiment."

Groaning to himself, Skystar followed along with the doctor, knowing full well these 'preperations would take the rest of the day and perhaps even the night as well.

"Can we at least get some take-out before we start? There's this noodle shop that recently opened up that supposed to be great!"

Author's Note

hey, you made it this far down? cool beans!

In all seriousness though, I came with this story idea while sitting on a boat in the gulf of mexico drinking MUG root beer. It just...popped I guess. Then I realized one needs an account to posts stories here so bang! MetalSlimeEater has arrived.

Kinda tired when editing this though, so if something slipped past me please point it out, as I'd hope to make this story as enjoyable as possible for everyone. and if you guys have any comments definitely post those too, I'd love to hear back from you guys about what you think!

Chapters might be bigger from here on out, just needed a good enough introduction to the story before getting to the good stuff!

Chapter 2

"What do you have there, Zekial?" A young mare spoke up, questioning the stallion in front of her as she took the item in his grasp and levitated it close to the bedroom lamp so she could see it clearly.

"A special brew from my homeland, something special for our anniversery." The stallion answered, getting into bed with the mare while grabbing two shot glasses off a nightstand nearby. "It can be a bit strong, but that's what these are for!"

Watching her partner shake the glasses with his hooves, the mare giggled and took one from his grasp, using her magic to pour some of the brew into it slowly.

"We'll see about that, you haven't managed to drink me down yet, my love. And Celestia be damned if I let you take that from me tonight!" The mare exclaimed jovially, her tail swishing madly as she magically passed the bottle to Zekial with a wink.

Pouring a shot for the stallion as well, the lovers tipped their glasses and downed the contents almost immediately, leaving the mare reeling for a moment at how strong the drink had actually been.

"Sweet Celestia! you weren't kidding about the kick, where did you even find this?" The mare asked, levitating the bottle back to her and looking it over. "Akpeteshie? Talk about exotic!"

Zekial nodded, pouring himself another shot after retrieving the bottle from his lover. "Indeed, it's a national drink from my home city and is quite popular for how strong it is...how's it taste?"

Watching his mare nervously, Zekial began to sweat while watching the mare make several thinking faces as she tilted her head different directions, with each dramatized 'hmmmm' followed by her ears flop in the opposite direction her head went.

"It was like a trail of fire going from my throat all the way to my bowels." She finally answered before pushing her shot glass into the stallion with a fervent smile. "Momma wants more!"

Chuckling at her enthusiasm, Zekial gladly did as he was told while silently being grateful he hadn't wasted half of his paycheck to get the drink imported here to Equestria. It wasn't easy convincing the mail service to take the offer, but with a decent tip of bits he had pulled through.

"Of course, dear. Now, shall we make a ga-huh?" Zekial began to ask, before noticing two silver eyes peering at the couple from the doorway, making his smile widen even more. "Looks like we woke up little Ethyl with our merriment."

Getting up from the bed, Zekial walked over to the small foal, picking him up and placing him on his back before giving the colt a small nuzzle on the cheek.

"Sneaky little sport, aren't you? Then again, your momma and I aren't exactly known for being quiet." Zekial told the colt, not noticing the colt giving him a deathly glare as the area around them began to dim and lose it's shape.

"That's my boy, always a curious little muffin." The mare happily stated, hopping off the bed as it vanished behind her into the evergrowing shadows around the three. "mark my words, Zekial. He's going to grow up and be a real ladykiller, just watch!"

The colt went to respond to his mother, but found himself cut off as everything around him was swallowed by darkness for a moment, before being replaced with a very different scene.

Where the colt had been sitting on his fathers back before, he was now standing on top of a hill out in the middle of several rolling plains. In front of him stood a single slab, one bearing a name and two dates that were forever etched in the colts memory.

Silver Flask
AU 1963-1994

"Tis quite the sad turn this dream has taken, though I should've expected this with you, my friend.."

turning around the colt found himself fully grown once more as he faced the newcomer on the hill with a sigh.

"Must you, princess? This is a personal matter." Doctor Alcol stated harshly, causing the alicorn in front of him to flinch slightly, her ears pressing to her skull as the doctor let out a sigh. "I understand you watch the dream realm, but you know that this is no nightmare."

"You art telling me thou enjoy watching these events of your past play out again and again? When is the last time you dreamed of something nice like the beach or being in the embrace of someone who cares about you?" Princess Luna asked him as she motioned to the headstone behind the doctor. "I understand the pain of losing those close to you, but-"

"If you understand it so much, then why do you persist in continually pressing me about it?" Alcol spat before turning to look at the sunset that was slowly hiding itself among the hills. "I am thankful for these dreams, princess. They serve as a reminder for both why I work in my field and why I moved to Canterlot."

Shaking her head, Luna walked over to the stallion and sat down next to him and putting a wing over Alcol.

"We...I am simply worried about a close friend, is that so wrong?" luna asked, noticing Alcol refused to look her in the eye. "Holding onto these memories will serve you no purpose other than to drag you deeper into despair. You need to learn to move on, Ethyl."

Letting out a whispered curse, Alcol shrugged off Lunas wing and walked down the hill as the area around him began to dissapate once more.

"Sorry, Luna. But I'm never letting this go, not until I can esnure no one ever loses what I did that day ever again."

Both the doctor and room blinked out almost instantly, leaving the night princess alone in the empty void of what had once been Alcols dream.

"Why, Alcol? Why would you wish to hold onto such pain? Don't you understand where that road lead will end?" Opening up a portal to another dream, Luna stood and ventured through it, pushing thoughts of her past from her mind as she continued her vigil of the dream world.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shooting up in a cold sweat, Alcol looked around frantically before realizing he was still in his office.

"I really need to get around to buying a house. Sleeping in here can't be good for my health." Pushing himself out of his spinny chair, Alcol stood up and began to stretch out, popping his back in several places as a frown edged onto his face.

"That mare...just because she's an alicorn doesn't mean she can tell me how to live my life." Alcol muttered as he slipped into his lab coat and glanced at a grandather clock nearby, wincing when he noticed the small hand sitting on the eleven.

"Told Skystar we'd do that experiment today, and knowing that colt he's be standing right outside the lab doors waiting for me since the crack of dawn." Alcol muttered with a smile as he trotted out of the office and, skipping the cramped magivator, began to take the stairs.

Skystar had been taken in under the good doctors wing when the colt had been referred to him by Luna, saying something along the line that her sister believed Skystar could use a mentor of the stallion variety to draw out his potential. Aolcol hadn't been able to get much more details out of the princess about it other than something about almost burning the west wing of the school down.

Regardless, Alcol had been in desperate need of someone to organize his research (it was one of the few traits Alcol would admit to being less than stellar in, he could and has managed to disorganize even the simpliest of documents in the past) so the doctor took Luna up on the offer. And he was glad he did, for while Skystar was quite the energized young stallion, he was also quite the gifted scholar in the making, with nearly perfect scores on all his tests and a knack for the natural arts. His only problem was that he wasn't quite sure which field he was. It didn't help the poor colts cutie mark was quite vague as well, being a blood red flag with the symbol CO on its colors.

Making it to the bottom of the stairs and giving a sparse hello to any passerby colleagues, Alcol made his way out of the office building and onto the streets of Canterlot.

Or at least the streets of Canterlot Commons, as they were technically called now.

The nobility of the royal court had managed to sanction their uppity street and housings as Canterlot proper, while the rest of the city that had species from all over Equestria residing in was known as Canterlot Commons...though the amount of nobility sticking to this seemed to be dwindling as the months went by, though that was largely in part to princess Twilight breathing down their necks for excluding other creatures.

Turning a corner, Alcol sidestepped around a couple of changelings and made his way into Celestia's school for gifted Unicorns, making sure to avoid any students along the way until he reached the doors leading to the laboratory where to the doctors little surprise awaited his young assistant.

"Dr. Alcol! What took you so long, Sir?" Skystar asked the unicron as he approached, opening the doorway so they could both walk through without stopping. "I've been having ponies give me weird looks all day for just standing here twiddling my hooves."

Rubbing the back of his head, Alcol gave Skystar a sheepish smile as they came to a stop in front of a locked door with Alcol's name etched into the plaque beside it.

"Sorry about that, got stuck in my dreams a bit longer than expected." Alcol explained to the colt, the bitter feeling from his conversation with Luna coming back to him tenfold.

I don't need to focus on anything but my research...no distractions allowed.

Honestly, if the princess had not first came to 'rescue' Alcol from his dreams several years ago he might've never truly gotten to know the mare. She had apparently been looking for the remnants of a tantabus (whatever that was) and had thought it was torturing him with memories of his mother. After explaining his situation the princess had not agreed with his thought process, and still didn't to this day, but had liked conversing enough with the doctor to make an effort to see him once a week. She had even helped him in furthering his research by using her thestrals as test subjects at times (as long as he promised not to hurt them...though it was usually the other way around with how eccentric they could be.)

Raising his horn to the lock on the door, both unicorns heard a faint click as the door began to swing open, allowing them access as Skystar spoke up.

"When will the test subjects for today show up? I know you said we needed royal permission to do today's tests, but you never said why." Skystar questioned as they began to enter Alcols lab, which stood proud sporting multiple counters lining the four walls, each with their own stations and sinks standing parallel to a large middle table in the center.

Smiling broadly, Alcol breathed through his nostrils and sighed peacefully as the smell of science assaulted his senses. turning to his young companion, the good doctor grabbed a clipboard left over from the previous days preperations and smiled.

"A couple of weeks ago, I finished my research in comparing griffon and pegasi reactions to various levels of toxicity in their systems, including the differing states of inebration they suffered from both on the ground and during flight." Alcol explained as he motioned to a few crates stacked up by the center table in the room, each one bearing different brand names and titles. 'And with my thesis currently being written up on the topic, I wish to to get a head start on our next subject: Kirins."

Skystars eyes went wide as he began to trot in place while letting out this silly "eeeeee" sound.

"Kirins?! We've read about them in class but I've never actually met one before, since they always seem to migrate to Ponyville rather than stay in the city." He stopped prancing and tilted his head to the side. "Would there really be that much of a difference between them and a unicorn though?"

Nodding once, Alcol turned from his assistant and moved to the containers nearby, opening one and looking over the brands as he spoke up.

"Kirins are more than just jungle unicorns, kid. When angered or put into a stressful state, they can harness a darker side of their natural talents...though I haven't done too much research into the why and how, as I'm only concerned with how it affects their state of mind while under the influence."

Placing a couple bottles of Loona Moon on a counter nearby the table, Alcol moved the rest of the crates over to a wall next to the counter with the help of his assistant, who seemed more excited than ever before.

"Your talking about Niriks, right? So...what happens during this state of theirs? We haven't gotten that far yet in history, and it wouldn't hurt to have a head start." Skystar said, his eyes gleaming with curiosity as he tracked Alcols movements.

Returning to the center table, Alcol put a hoof through his hair as he tried to think back on what the princess had spoken to him in regards to Kirin abilities.

"I believe its either their bodies are consumed by fire, or they are capable of spitting it out of any and each oriface on their body." Alcol answered, turning to the colt once more with a shrug. "Though we will try not to activate such a state during these trials, as all I need for today is the regular reactions to inebration...but you can see why I mentioned needing a safe space to run these tests."

Nodding his head like a bobbly toy, Skystar cantered over to the doors and opened them, sticking his head out for a moment before popping back inside looking annoyed.

"Now we just wait for them? With no idea of when they are to arrive?" Skystar asked, starting to lose some of his enthusiasm he had for today while Alcol simply laughed.

"Relax, I was informed they would be here around the afternoon, and it just hit twelve." The good doctor stated, being backed up by the chime of another grandfather clock sitting in the corner of the room. "If your truly that antsy, run and get us some lunch from that noodle place we went to yesterday, if they get here before then I'll make sure not to start without you."

Saluting the Doctor, Skystar smiled and galloped out of the room, leaving a comically large dust trail in his wake and a sighing doctor.

"That colt, its hard to remember that he's still just a kid sometimes." Alcol muttered through the now silent room before turning back to the crates he hadn't opened yet and began to place a couple of the contents beside the drinks already out on the counter.

"Dos Equiis, Diamond Dogfish Ale, Hippogriff Claw...quite the exotic spread of beers." Alcol pushed all the drinks back on the counter with his magic to prevent any from falling. "Then again, what else would I expect after getting permission to run this from Celestia herself."

The wait in day court had been a long one, about six hours worth of wating behind ponies with levels of snootiness on par with a dragins nostril. Especially with rumors of the sun princess and her sister retiring soon floating about, making ponies want their advice more than ever. Even with the wait, Alcol had managed to get to the princess just before she closed day court, and had successfully gotten approval to work this experiment in hopes of keeping bars all along Equestria from burning down with his research.

After all, who would want a flaming creature to ruin their business?

Still, there was that small voice in the back of the doctors head telling him to not go through with the tests. Be it some form of cowardice or fear for his lab, that voice seemed content to pester him since he had began setting everything up yesterday.

I've done these tests before! Tartarus, the last test with the belligerent griffon nearly got my neck sliced open and I barely batted an eye why am I hesitant NOW?

A series of knocks at the door drew Alcol from his thoughts as he trotted over and opened the door, expecting his assistant only to be met with a face he didn't recognize instead.

The mare-like creature in front of Alcol gave the doctor a smile as she waved a dark blue hoof.

"Hey! Are you Dr. Alcol by any chance?" The aquamarine being asked as the doctor gave a slow nod, making note of the tan mane that extended down her neck and mirrored the edges of her tail...that, and the oddly red horn she sported that slicked backwards after a few inches.

Must be the kirin the princess found for me, going to have to stall until Skystar gets back.

"Indeed, why don't you come inside and I'll give you the rundown on what we will be researching today?" Alcol asked, standing aside to let the Kirin come through.

"Wooow, so this is a research lab? We don't have anything like this back in the village!" She gasped and turned to the doctor, her ice blue eyes glittering like stars. "What all do you do here?"

Suppressing a smirk at her curiosity, Alcol was more than happy to show off his life's work, motioning to the bottles nearby as he spoke up.

"I am an Alcohologist, and my studies focus around inebration and the effects of alcohol on multiple species." The good doctor began, levitating a bottle of Dos Equiis to his hooves as he shook it slightly. "With everycreature now being welcomed to Equestria with open forelegs we need to make sure no one gets hurt or injured while out partying or drinking among friends. My research makes sure businesses take safeguards necessary so all parties can enjoy their day or nights out on the town."

The kirin gave Alcol a couple of nods. "Right right, so your one of those health ponies? Cool!" She exclaimed, causing Alcol to wince slightly at such a watered down version of his feats, though the mare never noticed as she gasped once more. "Oh my goodness, I haven't even introduced myself properly!"

Sticking her hoof out, the kirin gave the doctor an even wider smile. "My name is Spring Showers!"

Alcol slowly reached out and took her hoof in his own, only to have it be shaken rapidly before Spring Showers began to hop in place.

"Ooooh I'm so excited to contribute to something like this! The elder of our village said this was a prime opportunity to increase relations among ponies and kirins, and-"

The mare was interrupted as another set of knocks came at the door, only this time Alcol let out a sigh as he recognized who was behind it this time.

"Only one pony I know knocks like that." Alcol muttered, slightly annoyed at the fact his assistant persisted in knocking that infernal tune every time he came to a door. Opening the door with a silvery glow, Skystar trotted through with a handbag of noodles only to drop it in surprise as his eyes landed on the kirin in the room.

"Whooooaa, you must be the kirin!" The colt said in awe as he trotted up and did two circles around her before whistling. "Pretty cute for a country mare!"

The mare giggled, forcing an eye roll from the good doctor as the Kirin smiled at Skystar.

"Thank you, kiddo! That's mighty nice of you, kinda reminds me of what my coltfriend back home said when we first started dating!"

And in a single sentence, all of the energy that had been collecting in Skystar seemed to deflate almost instantly, much to the amusement of Alcol, who cleared his throat to get the kirins attention.

"This is my assistant, Skystar. He will be helping out by organizing and writing down our findings in todays experiment." Levitating three more bottles of Dos Equiis onto the center table, Alcol motioned for the Kirin to come up to them.

"So, what is this experiment again?" Spring Showers asked, bringing a smile to the good doctors face as he magicked up a red silo cup and began to pour the beer into it.

"We are going to be performing a controlled test of your ability to handle liquor." Alcol began, placing the cup in front of the Kirin as she nosed the cup slightly and gave it a small whiff. "Since everypony is naturally unique, we will only be recording general effects on your mental and physical state."

Turning to Skystar, Alcol was happy to see the colt had already magicked up some notes and a pen (A newer invention made by a unicorn mare a handful of years ago) and was ready to write down their findings.

looking at the Kirin again, Alcol found the mare was holding up a hoof.

"Question, Sir. These tests won't make me lose control of my emotions, right? My kind tends to go a bit overboard if we lose our tempers."

Placing a hoof on her withers, Alcol flashed the kirin his most heartwarming smile in an effort to soothe her admittedly natural worries.

"No need to worry about that, we were informed ahead of time of your kinds...flaming temperments and this room has been safeguarded to resist that effect should it occur." Alcol reassured Spring Showers before quickly glancing at Skystar, who saluted before covering any containers, pipes, or equipment around them in a red glow. "And of course, we are not going to purposefully put you in that state either, the only thing you'll be doing from here out is drinking...moderately of course."

Nodding along, the kirin let out a sigh of relief before grabbing the silo cup in a teal magic grasp.

"Good, didn't want to accidently burn down your fancy lab, doctor!" She exclaimed happily before lifting the cup to her mouth and rearing her head almost all the way back, scarfing down the contents in seconds.

"Whoa, look at her go!" Skystar exclaimed as the mare put down the drink and grin at the doctor.

"Not bad! It's kinda sweet...though I don't feel that different yet." Spring Showers said, getting a chuckle out of Alcol as he refilled the cup magically.

"Dios Equiis has a rather small alcohol content in it, letting it be the perfect way to ease you into inebration." Alcol explained as he magicked up a tape roll and began to roll out a straight line on the floor. "Now, I want you to walk this line out, and we will repeat this every 3 silo cups or so to see how it differs."

The kirin nodded once more and trotted across the line with ease before turning back to the doctor.

"Like that?" She asked, earning a nod from Alcol before returning to her spot by the table.

"Exactly, now whenever you are ready take the cup and drink as much as you wish." Alcol instructed while Skystar continued writing down notes.

"Gladly!" The mare exclaimed as she drank down the next cup of Dios Equiis, though this time Alcol noted she took decently longer to do so, putting the cup down after about twenty seconds of small sips. "This is-Burp! excuse me- fun!"

Giving the kirin a smile, Alcol made sure to watch her facial patterns as she started to talk about the last time she had partaken in so much 'fun' as it were. There was an occasional drip in her words and her eyes sometimes defocused from his face but only time would tell if more unique effects would occur.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two hours, and about three bottles of Dios Equiis later, Alcol found himself watching an absolutely plastered kirin sing some sort of lullaby to herself with occasional giggles. Over the course of time, the mare had slowly lost more control of her equilibrium and speaking ability, though all of this happened around the same general area your everyday pony would start to suffer as well.

No, the doctor was looking for what would stand out among the results, something unique. For Griffons, their bloodlust spiked and the smallest thing would set them off, even if they were the most timid of birds. For changelings, they would burp constantly, form changing every time they released gas (which could be dangerous depending on what they transformed into). Thestrals had their libido increase and would have nigh infinite stamina, which could make for a deadly enemy in the field if not for the complete plummet of their thinking abilities along with it.

But what about kirins? The mention of fire abilities had both sparked the good doctors curiosity and made him wary of doing this experiment, but so far nothing had came to light.

Perhaps kirins just hold their liquor well, and their abilities aren't connected to their mental state?

Either way, Alcol couldn't risk the mare drinking much more due to alcohol poisoning, even if it meant coming back another day or using another kirin for the tests. Taking a glance at his assistant, Alcol noticed he was also looking quite dissapointed in the lack of fireworks per say.

Sorry, kid. Science isn't always going to be about danger and cool discoveries...sometimes it's just sitting here and taking notes.

Turning his attention to the mare again, Alcol noticed she had already began pouring herself another drink.

"Alright, Ms. Showers. I believe its time we ended for today." Alcol stated, reaching for the drink with his hoof only to jump back in surprise when it was batted away by the kirin on the table.

"Nrrro! We can't brre done yt, we only just gotten starded!" She fired off, slurring some words and forgetting to pronounce a few others as she magicked the reaming cases of Dos Equiis around her and hugged them close. "Prrrretty babieeees make me feel alive, donut take tem awayys!"

Shaking his head, Alcol motioned for his assistant to back away as he took a step forward, hoping to de-escalate the rapidly emotional growing mare.

"I can have some of the drinks sent to your residence a few days from now, but I have to get the findings we got off of you recorded and catagorized with my other research. We can continue this in a few days if you wish to come-"

While he was talking, Alcol had been trying to magically bring the bottles to him, but the mare had noticed at last minute and jumped to her hooves in a blink of an eye, leveling her face with the good doctors with about an inch of space between them.

"Leave...my babies...alone!" She growled, narrowing her slowly whitening eyes at Alcol, who did the same as he charged his horn.

It appears the emotional state of kirins goes into overdrive with in an inebrated state...and it also seems to have activated this mares motherly instincts as well, with her somehow mistaking the bottles as her own kin?

While a part of him was excited at there finally being a breakthrough in the rather slow research they had been doing that day, right now this mare was a potential safety hazard, and Alcol wasn't alone this time in the lab.

"For your sake and mine, please put down the bottles and come with me. We've got a nice room with more of the good stuff waiting for you at a hotel nearby." Alcol slowly told Spring Showers, knowing all of it was absolute boosh but if it managed to talk down the mare and get her somewhere to sleep off the drunken fever, it would be worth it.

And to the doctors relief, it seemed to be working too! The kirin had slowly began to back off and one by one put each bottle down. Even her eyes were slowly reverting back to the ice blue they were before.

"There we go. See, I'm not hurting your babies, we just want what is best for you." Alcol continued, smiling as the mare gave him a slow nod as she placed the last bottle down and wearily moved her head to look up at him with a serene look on her face.

That is, until one of the bottles exploded in a red flash.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The kirin erupted in outrage...and literally as her and the entire table became engulfed in flames, leaving behind a jet black mare with glowing white eyes and a white horn.

"Buck Buck Buck!, Skystar get out of here!" Alcol exclaimed as he fell backwards as the mare let out a shrill scream, flames erupting from her in all directions as the doctor took cover behind his desk.

"Damn it, what in Tartarus happened?" Alcol cursed as he frantically looked around, thamkfully finding no trace of his assistant among the flames and rapidly exploding bottles of beer nearby.

Deiding not to stick around, Alcol began to charge a teleportation spell only for something to hit him from behind, canceling the spell and knocking him face-first to the ground.

With a pained groan, Alcol rolled onto his back just in time to see two pure-white eyes staring back at him.

"P-Please...Stop." Alcol whispered as he felt her flames begin to burn at his fur as she held him down. His vision began to blur as the flames began to encompass what wasn't white and firey and the burning sensation began to build into his withers and neck.

"Buuuurn it all down!" A voice echoed somewhere in the room, though Alcol couldn't tell if the kirin had said it or not, as he found himself slipping out of consciousness.

This is how I die? Burned down in a literal blaze of glory seeking knowledge? And to think I had thought I'd ever ever be better than him...

The last thing the doctor heard before everything went black was a loud blast and somepony shouting his name.

Author's Note

hallo! it's me again!

Wow, a lot went down this time, huh? Welp, what did you expect after reading the title page?

Disclaimer: all beer products listed are real, just been slightly ponified. the kirin listed above is a real mare from the show, she's just a unnamed background pony (technically named Aquamarine kirin). She seemed like a good fit.

As you probably noticed, the first half of the dream section was in this format the whole time. That was on purpose to show Alcols immersion in the dream, as it breaks the format when the dream shifts.

If you see any errors anywhere, feel free to point them out as I dont have an editor yet. Or if you just wish to comment please do so too!

See you guys next time!