You don't always get what you want
It wasn't possible... I couldn't accept it... I didn't want to accept it...
All my life, I was given what I wanted without question by always obeying Mom. And I think that's the main reason why I feel so frustrated right now...
Nopony chooses to fall in love, because it's something that happens without warning. One day, you may see somepony as your friend, someone you can count on in good times and bad; and the next day, that same pony can cause you very strange sensations that you have never experienced before.
That's what happened to me with Hitch, a pony whom I considered only a friend... but over time I began to develop a sentimental affection for him. When we met, I thought he looked adorable trying to dance or follow the lyrics of my song, even though it was just an unimportant thought.
How naive I was to think that... But like I said, falling in love is something that only happens without warning. How was I to know that Hitch would become the stud of my dreams? He is so attentive, kind, helpful and handsome. I love spending time with him, those moments are the ones I enjoy most during my stay in Maretime Bay...
At least, I used to, until a few days ago.
Hitch and Sunny told Izzy, Zipp, Misty and I that they had something important to announce to us in our group chat. I hoped it was nothing serious, nothing to do with the crystals and that our magic wouldn't be in danger again. We already had enough dealing with Opaline and Allura, so another power-hungry baddie is the last thing we need right now.
But when we were there, and seeing them both smiling... I don't know what Izzy, Misty or my sister must have been thinking, but I had an idea of what they were going to tell us, and I didn't like it at all.
They made it clear to us that there was nothing wrong with magic or crystals, and that what they had to announce was something personal but important. What do you think when two important ponies in your lives tell you that they have something personal to announce? To me, the answer was pretty obvious. But I couldn't accept it, I didn't want to...
And then, Hitch was the one who said it. "We're officially a couple!" He exclaimed excitedly. However Izzy, Misty or Zipp reacted, I didn't pay attention because I felt like everything around me went completely black, and I also felt like time stopped... Maybe, and just MAYBE, if Sunny had said that, maybe It wouldn't hurt me that much... but Hitch had to be the one to announce it...
I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, I wanted to hit Sunny and Hitch alike. Why her? Why not me? What did she have that I didn't have? Thousands of questions spread through my mind, each one more selfish and impulsive than the last. My tears threatened to come, and yet I came back to reality when I heard Hitch's laughter. Izzy was almost drowning Sunny and Hitch alike while she congratulated them non-stop, both of them laughing despite being almost crushed. Zipp patted Hitch on the back and hugged Sunny as he said "It's about time!", while Misty simply hugged them both to congratulate them.
And I started to feel bad again, only this time because of guilt. They looked happy, he looked so happy, and here I was with such selfish thoughts. Do I have the right to be upset with them? No, I didn't have it. Sunny was one of the first real friends I made in my life, she offered me her own house (recently rebuilt back then) as a home while I stayed in Maretime Bay. And even if Hitch didn't feel that way about me, I wanted him to be happy, and he was, and that made me happy.
I approached Sunny and hugged her sincerely, congratulating her on her relationship. I did the same with Hitch, who for a moment I didn't want to let go, but I did anyway. While they started an argument with Izzy and Zipp, I decided to leave as discreetly as possible. When I was outside the Crystal Brighthouse, I was about to let a few tears fall, but a voice behind me forced me to straighten up and hold them back a little longer.
"Hey Pipp!" Misty shouted, who was heading towards me quickly. "Where are you going?"
I swallowed dryly, trying to come up with some excuse to not tell her the truth. "I want to... get some fresh air, that's all," I lied with a smile, trying not to make it look so forced.
"Take some air?" Misty asked confused and concerned. "You feel good?"
"Don't worry, Misty, I'm fine. I just want to be alone for a moment, okay? I promise to go inside in a while," I lied again, this time with a more convincing and natural tone.
"Okay... but if something happens to you, you can talk to us about it. We are here for you," Misty reminded me with a smile.
I just nodded, still with a smile on my face. When she turned around and walked in, I flew out of there and got as far away from Maretime Bay as I could. I landed on a clear area, checked anyway to make sure I was alone, and not being able to hold it in anymore, I let my tears come out while sobbing loudly. I collapsed completely to the ground and buried my face in my hooves, letting out my pain.
I really want them to be happy, and I know that Hitch will be very happy with Sunny, they have known each other since childhood after all... and that only increased my pain. They had known each other for years, I had only known Hitch for around a year, and even despite the time we spent together, I knew that I couldn't know him as well as she knew him...
Like I said, I always got what I wanted without question, but this was the first thing I wasn't going to get no matter how much I wanted it. Because love is something complicated, it is not something that is simply given, it is something that you earn, and I had not won the affection of that pony, not the one I wanted at least. Was that a bad thing? Not entirely, we could still be friends, or rather, we are still friends. But that doesn't take away the fact that it hurts, because I love him... and yet, he's not within my reach, not anymore at least.
When I felt that I could no longer cry, I got up from the ground, and with the reflection of my cell phone I checked my condition: My mane was still combed, and my hooves were not as dirty as I thought, with a little water the dirt would be removed. But my face, on the other hand, was a little bad: My eyes were a little swollen from crying, and my eyeliner spread across my cheeks. I would have to clean myself up before returning to the Crystal Brighthouse.
I put my cell phone away and took off, I hid between some rocks near the sea and I cleaned my hooves first, then I ran some water over my face, I shook myself dry and I checked my face again with the reflection of my cell phone, I was much better, although my eyes were still a little swollen. Even so, I silently prayed that no one would notice that, I put my phone back and flew towards Maretime Bay.
I landed in front of the Crystal Brighthouse, and I noticed that my friends were still talking, I was happy to know that they didn't notice that I left the place. I hoped that my absence hadn't lasted so long and that they weren't worried. I was about to walk over and join the conversation, but seeing Sunny lean on Hitch's shoulder, my heart sank and I backed out immediately. Without anypony noticing, or so I hoped, I went up to our bedroom and lay down on my bed. Since the sun was already setting, I had an excuse to say that I was a little tired and wanted to get some sleep, if they noticed that I came up, that is.
As if I had summoned somepony, I heard the door open, I sat on my bed and saw Zipp scanning the room in general with her gaze, until it stopped on me.
"There you are, Pipp," She said, in her tone I noticed some concern. "Misty said you would be joining soon, but I saw you come up and I got worried. Are you okey?"
Should I tell her? Maybe, if I told her how I felt, she could relax me a little... No. No, it's better not to worry her. She had enough with the fact that she was almost sent back to Zephyr Heights, I didn't want to burden her with my worries. The problem is that Zipp is the only one who knows when I'm lying, but I hoped she would swallow my lie this time...
"I'm fine, Zipp," I lied. I hated lying, but I needed her not to ask questions, or I would end up breaking down again. "Just a little tired, and I thought about going to sleep, even if it's earlier than usual..."
"Are you sure? You know if something happens, you can tell me," Zipp replied, still concerned.
"Don't worry, nothing happens."
I begged that she'll believe it, that she wouldn't ask questions. I don't want to talk to anypony about it, I don't want anypony to see how weak and vulnerable I am at that moment, how pathetic I feel.
"Alright, sis, I'll let you rest," Zipp said, not sounding very convinced.
She left the room, and at last I was alone. I laid back down again and buried my face in my pillows, starting to cry again, only this time it would be silent. At some point I must have gotten tired of crying so much, because I fell asleep and didn't realize when the others came in until the next day, when I woke up before anypony else.
Seeing that the others were still sleeping, I decided to stay lying in my bed for a while longer. Then I checked my phone, and realized that it would soon be time to open Mane Melody. But the truth is, I didn't feel like going, I didn't feel in a good mood to be able to take care of the business. I opened the group chat I had with Jazz and Rocky, asking them if they could handle it on their own today because I wasn't feeling well. They both said yes, that was good. I hoped that after today I could get up and continue as if nothing had happened... but that didn't happen...
The days passed, and soon the days turned into weeks. My mood was getting worse and worse, I felt as if there was no real reason to live or move forward. I spent all day in my bed, sometimes crying, and most of the time sleeping. I didn't even eat like before, and I didn't meet up with my friends like before, not even with my sister.
My physical appearance also changed: I lost a lot of weight, my mane was a mess and miraculously I didn't care at all, I had somewhat noticeable dark circles on my face, my eyes were swollen from crying and my wings were also all messed up. But things didn't end there...
I was away from Mane Melody too often, to the point where I was only going 2 or 3 times a week. My live streams completely disappeared, and my social media activity decreased. I sent a message saying I was taking some time for myself, a big lie that I hoped would be enough to reassure everypony.
Of course, everypony else except my friends. They are the only ones who did know what was happening to me, or so I heard them murmur. They knew at least that I wasn't "taking time for myself", but they didn't know the real reason why I act the way I do right now...
One day the door opened, and I knew right away it was Zipp because she was the only one of the other 5 of us who came to check on me all the time, asking me if I was okay. I never answered her because I knew it would end up breaking me, and I didn't want to, not in front of her. In the end she left when she saw that I didn't answer her, so that day she would do what she always did, or that's what I thought...
"Alright Pipp, enough drama, it's time for you to talk, and this time I'm serious," Zipp said, with an angry yet concerned tone.
The other times she came she always had a soft tone, something unusual for my sister. Today she was acting somewhat more in line with her personality, and I could tell that she was determined to seriously try to get me to talk, but I remained silent to her words.
"Pipp, if you have to say something, just do it. We all know you're not well, you haven't even been yourself these past few weeks, and don't think I haven't noticed your dark circles and puffy eyes!" Zipp scolded me like the big sister she is. "You're not like that, you don't magically neglect yourself just like that..."
I noticed concern in her tone again, just what I didn't want to cause her at first... and I ended up giving it to her anyway. But again, I still didn't answer her.
"Oh, you are very stubborn, Pipp!" She exclaimed furiously, which made me turn towards her since my back was facing her the entire time. "Eventually you will have to get up from there and talk, get your life back. You can't hide between your sheets forever, and even if you could, I don't think you'd last long being alone..."
That... that really hit me hard. I hated to admit it, but Zipp was right, I couldn't hide in my sheets forever, at some point I would have to talk... And maybe this was the time.
When Zipp sighed regretfully and was about to head for the door...
"Zipp..." I called her calmly.
She turned in my direction expectantly, and I also noticed a gleam of hope in her eyes. "Yeah?" She answered, I noticed a certain tone of joy in her voice.
"Can I speak to you? Just us, without the others listening..." I requested.
She looked at me strangely for a moment, but then she smiled and went to the door, checked that no one was there and closed it. I decided to sit on my bed, then Zipp walked over to me and climbed in, sitting next to me.
"Okay, sis, what's wrong with you?" She said with a soft voice and a comforting smile.
At that moment, I decided not to beat around the bush. I needed to get it out of my system, I needed the pain to come out, so I decided not to hold back and let her see me so vulnerable. At first it was just a small sob, but little by little it turned into a sea of tears. Zipp opened her right wing and I buried my face in her shoulder, I felt her wing on my back, and I thanked her for not asking questions, she just let me vent.
After a while of crying on her, I was finally able to detach myself and wiped my tears with my hoof.
"Do you feel better?" Zipp asked, still with her wing over me.
"A-A little," I responded with a brittle voice.
"Well, I won't pressure you, so when you want to let it go, do it, I will listen to you and try to help you in any way I can..."
Sometimes I wondered why I was so distant with her. She always consoled me even for the smallest and most absurd detail that brought me sadness, but I was sure that she knew that this time it wasn't something absurd. The problem was that I didn't really know where to start...
"I-In the last few weeks, I-I've had a pain that... I-I can't push it away... I feel... so stupid for crying about something like that but... I-I can't help it," I said with too much difficulty, it was difficult for me to be able to formulate any words.
"Is... Is this about Hitch?" She asked suddenly
I was afraid. Why was I afraid? Because she hit the mark, and that was exactly what terrified me. How did she know this was about him?
"H-How...?" I tried to ask, but it was still difficult for me to even speak.
"Pipp, I'm your sister, I know when something happens to you and sometimes also why. I suspected for a long time that you had feelings for Hitch, it was pretty obvious in my opinion. When you congratulated Sunny and Hitch on their relationship, I thought you were taking it well, but now I see that I shouldn't have assumed that so quickly..."
I didn't know what to say... What exactly was I supposed to say?
"You know, I know that sometimes you tend to exaggerate things, but I know well that this is not exaggerated. Can you tell me how you feel? " She said, still in a soft tone.
"I-It's just that..." I felt the tears coming again. "M-Mom spoiled me too much... I've always had what I want without ifs... but this is something I can't claim no matter how much I want it... Hitch is what I always looked for in 'my ideal pony', and now he is with Sunny..." I wiped my tears again with my hoof. "But I can't be selfish, Zipp. Sunny is my friend as is Hitch, and I really wish them the best but..."
"You love him, and that's why it hurts you to see him with somepony else, right?" She finished for me, I just nodded slowly. "Pipp, what you have is depression. Tell me, did you think it was a joke at first, then you got angry and started thinking about what would have happened if you were the one with him?"
I nodded again, she was really good at reading others.
"And now you're crying and became a completely different pony. I tell you something? It's okay to want to cry if you find it necessary, but you'll get over it eventually. You will meet another pony who will cause you those same sensations. When? I don't know, but you must be patient, Pipp. And you said it yourself, Sunny and Hitch are your friends, the best thing you can do is support them, and one day you will laugh about this, I can assure you," She nudged me with her shoulder.
"...How... H-How do I know I'm over it?" I asked, still sobbing a little.
"You will not know. It will just happen, but trust me when I tell you that I will help you, not only to get through this, but also to slowly recover your life and your spirit," Zipp assured me, removing her wing and getting off the bed, then looking at me smiling. "What do you say? Are you willing to move forward?.
She extended her hoof to me, and I looked at her surprised. Again, I was wondering how I became so indifferent to her, because right now she was being more than just a friend, she was being my sister. I got off the bed and ran to her, wrapping her in a hug, as I let a few more tears fall on her fur.
"Thanks, Zipp," I whispered. "Thank you so much for this..."
She hugged me back, wrapping her wings around me.
"You're welcome, Pipp," She replied.
I knew I had to move on, and that it would take a while, but I would eventually heal my broken heart...
THE END
Author's Note
To all the Pitch shippers that follow me/arrived into this story, I apologize. However, I wanted to try out an alternate take on these kind of stories and bring over the "bad ending", where the ship in the cover is not hitting endgame.
If anything, you should be glad I used Pipp, because my OG idea was to use Zipp, but... I know for sure that the StormBlazer fandom would haunt my head down, and I also know someone that wouldn't leave me alone ever again if I did used Zipp instead of Pipp.
But I promise you, Pitch shippers, that I will make up for this, and it'll be worth it!
Constructive criticism is appreciated. Thanks for reading! Ciao! 
