Fit to print

by Convolved

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Slice of Life
Length: 1395

A tale of excitement and certificates

Twilight wants facts. Which facts? How come she hadn't found what to write of?
She won't expect the approaching events

Pic from http://mandydax.deviantart.com/art/RTFM-Srsly-267134832

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-01-10 03:58:32 UTC

As usual

Twilight was again excited. There were numerous ponies outside; it was likely that at least one of them had something of relevance to say. What possibilities could await her? Maybe she didn't know what she would find, but she did know she would find something. She could feel it. She could go to the shops or perhaps ask her friends. Even she could ask the first pony to greet her. While deciding who could be her next, she ran into Applejack.

"Howdy Twilight, how is your day going?"

"Fine, I think. Wait. Do you have witnessed something special last days?"

"Nah, nothing. Uh... May I ask why the question? "

"Oh, no. There is not a specific reason. So, anything interesting happened recently? "

"Perhaps the Tuesday, It was raining longer than usual"

"Like dark and stormy?"

"No, but it was longer than most rains. I think you saw it too"

"Yes, but I was hoping you knew more fascinating facts, you know, something extraordinary"

"Not really. Are you ok Twilight?  You seem a bit tired."

"I'm fine Applejack, I just had a crazy study night… Oh, see the hour, I guess I have to go, see you later, bye!"

"Take care Twi"

Twilight went down the road searching for another possible interviewee. Maybe she would find the greatest thing news of the year, maybe not. But she knew she would make her best to get the facts. Which facts? Any facts, from anypony.  Everypony in the streets were selling as usual, buying as usual, talking as usual. "Of all weeks, why this particular had to be most boring of the year "she thought. She would try anyways and she would spend most of her day on this.

By the end of the day Twilight was bored and tired. After fruitlessly asking countless times for facts, she finally decided to go back home. She had got a lot of silly and uninteresting answers. There was the case of a stallion that said he didn't found any toilet paper in his bathroom, or that mare who said she got dizzy after eating aged apple juice. Perhaps today wasn't the day to practice journalistic writing. She could try tomorrow, or the next week. Now what she only wanted was to rest.

The silent path to home contrasted to itself hours ago. The streets were devoid of chatting ponies and commercial stands. It was usual to end working day early in Ponyville, so nights tended to be lonely. Twilight was steadily heading home until a sound distracted her. It could be barely heard and she wasn't able to find its source. She was relieved when the wind started rushing through the trees' branches and houses' roofs. "Maybe it is just the wind" she thought. Still, she felt being followed.  Because of the nearly lack of light, she couldn't avoid feeling uneasy.

The mysterious sound came again after a few minutes, now louder. It looked like the sound came from somepony or something following her. She hoped the noises would go away, but they were still present even after sighting the library. "Hello, anypony there?" she asked approaching the library. No response.

She noticed that the library was dark. "Spike, are you there?" she spoke loudly, moving towards the door. There wasn't a response. She thought that maybe Spike was with Rarity, or went out for food; however she wasn't sure were Spike was. There also was the possibility of a surprise party inside the tree, albeit unlikely. She turned back her attention to her surroundings and once more became aware of the noises. One in particular was approaching with an accelerating pace.  She started to get nervous. Now, the noise became loud enough to be identified as hoofteps. "Who is there?" she inquired. Again, no response. Without thinking much, she quickly opened the door, entered the tree and closed.

Indeed, there was no surprise in the tree and Spike wasn't home. At least she was relieved of reaching home safe and sound. The hoofsteps had finally faded away. She breathed in relief and sat on a couch. Suddenly, a knocking sound was heard. Being thrilled by the mysterious situation, she couldn't help but overreact and jump.

"Who is there?!" she shouted.

"Whoa! It's just me, Spike. Please open" replied a young voice.

"Oh, sorry spike, I'm happy to see you" she said opening the door. "Why so late?"

"I was helping Rarity. I didn't notice it was getting late" he explained. "I didn't want to make you worry"

"Please next time you tell me if you are going to spend the day outside, Spike. Still, I am happy that you are fine"

"Want to know what we were working on?"

"If you want to tell, yes"

"Well, after you left I decided to go to Rarity's boutique and ask if she needed any help. She told me I had arrived in perfect time, she needed more gems. Thus, we went searching gemstones! Most of the time we found pretty generic gemstones, noting special. Until we found it..."

"Found what?"

"A huge emerald! It was about my head's size! Rarity was delighted with the gem, it was a shame I couldn't taste it"

"A big emerald, uncommon for gemstones; you trying to eat them, pretty normal Spike" Twilight interrupted.

"Yeah, they taste better than they look. I had to contain my impulse to eat it, all for my beloved Rarity" he continued. "Anyways, Rarity was excited because of the possibilities for that emerald and as soon as we arrived at the boutique she went to her 'Inspiration room' and started sketching designs"

"I can picture that"

"After some minutes, she decided to test some of her ideas. I got really busy helping her. Most of the times she would simply trash the idea and start over again. At the end of the day, it finally looked like she settled down on a particular design; but I had to leave. So, I don't know if she finished her newest work"

"Maybe you can see her tomorrow to ask her" said Twilight.

"I will do that" he said. After a few seconds he spoke again. "Was it interesting?"

"Kind of. Why you ask?"

"Oh, because nothing"

"Right…"

That isn't fit to print

It couldn’t be better for Twilight. There, in front of the library’s door, laid a relatively small box waiting to be opened. She had been excited during the past weeks, but nothing could be compared to the thrill of opening her long awaited shipment.

She placed the box on a table and finally opened the box carefully. She found what she was expecting.

Shining in all its glory, an official looking document was being levitated and observed. It read “For completing our course by mail, ‘By the book’ academy grants Twilight this certificate in journalistic writing”.

Twilight was giggling of happiness until a sudden thought crossed her mind. She certainly got a certificate, but what was the point in having a fancy paper without work that actually reflected the knowledge acquired? What would she do next? Without much pondering she took a quill, an ink deposit and a scroll. Then she stared at the blank paper.

Nothing. Nothing again. Even more nothing. Nothing of nothing, thanks to nothing. She realized she had nothing to write about.

“Spike, come here!” she spoke. A small purple dragon came down the stairs. “I’m here” he said expecting some common chore. Twilight stared at him. “What, do I have something in my nose?” he said. “No. Now, just do something” Twilight responded drily. Spike leaned his head to the side and simply looked at Twilight with confusion.

“Twilight, did you sleep last night?”

“No, but that is not the point. Can you do something barely more interesting than standing there?”

“Eh… Like what?”

“Something that’s fit to print”

“Like a dancing pose?”

“I’m not talking about that. I am talking about a newsworthy event! You surely must have something important to do or say”

“Oh… Let’s see… Uh…  Eh… I got nothing”

“Spike, you need to get a life” she said. “Hey, I do have important things to do!” he replied. “The fact that my life isn’t newsworthy doesn’t mean that I am nobody… right?” he continued, but he was too late to be heard by Twilight because she had already left the library.