Twilight was relieved to be given a “day off” for her duties. Of course, since all she did for work was write friendship reports for Princess Celestia, it was hardly any different from any other kind of day she spent in Ponyville. However, as a result of her freakout that led to her friends to agree to write reports themselves to take weight off her, Celestia told Twilight to take the next few days off to relax, and indulge in her personal interests.
On this particular day, Twilight decided to spend the morning in the Everfree Forest. Though usually known as a dark and mysterious place that feels unnatural when the sun is down, during the day it could actually be rather pleasant. Plus, it was home to some pretty nice birds, which was the main reason Twilight wanted to go there. She had picked up a birdwatching interest from Fluttershy, but being her stereotypically nerdy self, she had to outright take notes of what birds they were.
Oh, and she brought Spike with her. He didn’t really have any interest to go out with her, but she felt that he could do with a breath of fresh air himself after spending the last few days doing nothing but organising books and gem binging.
“Sooo … why exactly did you drag me out here, Twi?” Spike asked, being rather rude and unappreciative of the outdoor woodlands on the outskirts of Ponyville.
Twilight, wearing her pith helmet along with a green shirt, put down the binoculars she was using to look out for the birds of the forest, and turned to Spike in exasperation over his lack of enthusiasm. “Spike, where is your appreciation for the countryside?”
Spike sighed. “Sorry, Twi, it’s just that it’s been about 15 minutes and we haven’t seen a single bird approach us. Also, this isn’t what I usually have in mind if I’m taking a break.”
“Yeah, but then again, for a break you’d only want to stuff your face with tons of gems,” Twilight replied, with a somewhat teasing tone. “Besides, Spike, sometimes we need to take a step back and appreciate the little things in life. I like to think that all the tiny details and little aspects of life make the world so fascinating! To watch a bird fly and marvel at its beauty, or see a star sparkle in the night sky and think about its existence. Those details are what make life great, and we shouldn’t always think about the big picture, right?”
“Twilight,” Spike followed up, “I’ve heard all that before. I read it from that Big Book of Cliché Speeches to Make Yourself Sound Intellectual, Vol. 2 book we have at the library.”
“Ugh, okay. I just thought it would be nice for us to spend my day off together outside the library. I think you might find birdwatching quite interesting once you get to grips with it!”
“I have seen a bird. We have one at the library,” Spike said, smugly trying to remind Twilight about Owlowiscious’ existence.
Twilight facepalmed. “That’s one single bird, Spike. Now please be quiet, I have my handbook ready to put to good use for once.”
Spike sat down behind Twilight as she picked up her binoculars again and looked through them up into the sky. She had already noted down several blue tits that were on tree branches into her notebook, but she needed to see something a bit more unique.
That’s when she heard the distinct call of a very specific kind of bird: “WHOAAAAAAA!!!!”
“There we go, a blue jay! This bird was high on my “To See” list.” She immediately started taking down the notes of this blue jay, such as the date and time it appeared and which area.
“Twilight, do you really need to take all those special notes on these birds?” Spike interjected. “I mean, I’ve seen Fluttershy do birdwatching like this too, but she never takes all these specific notes on the birds she sees. Also, why is it blue jays you’re specifically interested in?”
“Spike, Fluttershy may be interested in just seeing and admiring the natural beauty of the birds, but I also want to research them afterwards. See what this bird feels, where it lives, its personality, etcetera etcetera, just so I can understand these kinds of birds better. As for why I’m interested in the blue jay, well … I guess it’s just a very interesting kind of bird.”
As Twilight said this, the blue jay again called out “WHOAAAAAAA!!!!”. Twilight noted down in her notebook “Blue jay. Call: whoooaaaa noise, sounding like some surfer or slacker pony, looks very endearing.”
As she was taking these notes down, a bee was collecting pollen from a flower nearby. Seeing Twilight examining the blue jay and Spike sitting behind her, the bee decided to fly over to the two of them. Spike saw the bee, and being that he was already bored with the day out, he didn’t want to get bothered by this bee as well.
“Oi! Shoo, bee, shoo!” Spike grumbled at the bee, swatting his dragon talons at it. The bee flew away to the side of a bush as Spike swatted it away, but his complaining towards it distracted the blue jay, who flew away into the sky, but not before letting out one final “WHOAAAAAAA!!!!”
Needless to say, Twilight was not happy at Spike for driving the blue jay away from her sight. “Spike, why the hay did you have to do that? You frightened the blue jay off!”
“Sorry, Twi, but there was a bee that was trying to attack us. It just flew up to us and took way too much of an interest in me. I had to swat it away.”
“A bee?!? That was it? Spike, why are you so scared of it? It's just an insect, it won't hurt a dragon like you. Why, a bee couldn't even sting through your scales.”
“Maybe, but it could’ve stung you while you were watching that blue jay!”
As Twilight was scolding Spike for frightening the blue jay away, the bee that flew to the bush seemed to be with several mates. From where they were gathered, they got a good look of Twilight’s bottom. The bunch of them giggled, and then the bee who was swatted away first gestured towards its stinger, and then to its own rear end, as if it was suggesting to the other bees that it sting Twilight’s bottom, which made the other bees laugh and nod their heads.
“Spike, I would not be distracted by a tiny little bee!” Twilight was continuing to scold Spike. “Bees won’t sting you unless you deliberately agitate them in some way — which I’m surprised didn’t result in you getting stung after you tried to swat it away!”
Behind Twilight and Spike, the bee cleared its throat towards its bee friends, and flew right over towards Twilight’s bottom.
“The point I’m trying to make, Spike, is that bees are harmless! That’s the bottom line!”
And then, just like that, the bee stabbed its little stinger into Twilight’s right flank, just on the right side of her cutie mark.
Needless to say, Twilight’s reaction was quick and loud. “OW! What the hay was that? That hurt,” she shouted. She looked behind herself at Spike, thinking it was him. “Spike, you little…”
“What? What are you accusing me for? I literally didn’t do anything just now!”
Twilight still gave Spike a suspicious eye, but then looked behind him, and noticed the bee flying away, albeit much weaker than it was before. It was then she noticed — the bee didn’t have its stinger anymore. It started to dawn on her what had happened, and she looked at her right flank. There it was, the bee’s stinger, embedded into her bottom.
Twilight frowned in annoyance and crossed her hooves. “Great. This is gonna suck,” she groaned.
Slowly but surely, Twilight’s bottom started to inflate like a balloon, with the hissing sound of helium developing inside of it, while the skin on her bottom and her cutie mark started to stretch out with appropriate stretching sounds.
Twilight turned her eyes to Spike in annoyance as her bottom continued to stretch and inflate. "Well, here's another fine mess you've gotten me in to, Spike."
Spike was not bothered terribly much. He simply rubbed this into Twilight’s face. “Huh, so I guess bees are a danger to you after all! Aren’t they, Twi?” He chuckled to himself about Twilight’s bottom inflating.
“Spike! This is not funny,” Twilight angrily grumbled at Spike, but her embarrassing situation continued. Her bottom filled up with enough helium to start lifting up, taking her hind legs off the ground with it. “This isn’t funny, Spike. This bee has inflated my rear with helium on purpose, and you think that's just hysterical,” Twilight continued to scold, but by now her inflating bottom rose up high enough to take her completely off the ground. And it continued to inflate all the while.
Spike, now having to look up at Twilight as she started to float up into the sky, started laughing at her predicament. “Sorry, Twi, but this is too funny! Your… your big… big bottom… is inflating… and now… now you're going to float away! I guess you deserve it for telling me off for being worried about that bee!”
Twilight, now with her bottom inflated around three times its size, and now thirty feet up above ground level, scowled at Spike from up above. “Spike, you’re just being rude and immature now! I don’t see why this is funny at all!”
Spike wasn’t going to back down from the jokes. “You have no idea why this is funny? I’ve got a few assumptions…”
Twilight was around 60 feet above the ground now, and she continued to tell Spike off. “Just you wait until my rump deflates, then I’ll give you what for so hard you’ll—”
All of a sudden, Twilight’s ranting was cut off by her giant balloon bottom letting out a very loud fart, which for her was just even more embarrassing. “Oh, come on now!”
Spike, again, took this into great humour. Being that he was simply a baby dragon, he just found the idea of Twilight’s bottom growing to a gargantuan size to be hilarious rather than anything inherently sexual. But now the farting had made him double over it. “That’s just the perfect topping on this comedy cake!”
Twilight was now approaching 100 feet in the sky. “Well, goodbye then, Spike,” she sarcastically said, as she was becoming more and more of a spec in the sky. “I surely don’t know when I’ll be back down!”
Finally Spike seemed to settle down, saying to himself “Okay, okay, I gotta go to Rainbow Dash. She’s going to love this, oh yes she is!” And with that, Spike ran out of the Everfree Forest.
Twilight, now fading away from eyesight, just grumbled to herself in annoyance over the whole situation. “It’s humiliating enough for a bee to sting me, but why my rump? And how was I supposed to know that my rump would inflate from a bee sting? I feel like I’m in some perv’s poorly-written fanfic — I mean, bees shouldn’t even be able to inflate others, and they’re supposed to die when they sting you!”
She looked around in a panic and, to her embarrassment, saw two elderly ponies each painting on a canvas on easel, noticing her predicament, and laughing to themselves.
“Look, Johnny,” the elderly mare said to her husband with a chuckle. “Why, I do believe that purple mare over there has had something go wrong with her bottom!”
Her husband laughed along. “Yes, Katie, I do believe she has been stung by a bumbled bee! Truly embarrassing!” He continued painting, thinking happily about the bee. “My my, I do like bumblebees, Katie. They always look so graceful, in their lovely colours of yellow and ... black ...”
“Johnny...”
He proceeded to get up and aggressively throw his easel and painting equipment away while shouting during his breakdown. “... Black. Black. Black! Like the clouds of death that follow me into the Forest of Doom! And hide in the wardrobe of darkness! Black!” At this point, he crouched to his wife's ear and whispered, “Can we have dinner, mommy? In daddy's grave?!?”
“I think it's time to go home, Johnny."
*****
Over at Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie Pie was having a conversation with Rainbow Dash.
“It was all pretty quick for my dad, really. It was just in and out and he even got to keep them,” Pinkie said to Rainbow, the two of them chatting about some kind of operation each of their dads either had or were planning to have.
Rainbow responded to Pinkie’s talk about her dad’s “experience” with “Look, my dad’s keen to get it done, but, my mom, she wants to keep her options open. But I don’t know. Do we want any more of these things running around?”
Suddenly, Spike burst through the doors, ready to tell Rainbow about what had just happened with Twilight and the bee. “Rainbow, Rainbow, I need to tell you something important!”
“Spike, you didn’t find another bit in your belly button again, did you?” Rainbow sounded quite tired out, as she often felt Spike was rather childish compared to her smarter and more intellect sense of humour … such as whoopee cushions.
“No! I,” Spike still had the chuckles, so he could hardly get his words out. Eventually, he took a deep breath, gasping for air, and began to tell the two. “Twilight got stung on her rump by a bee and … well,” he was wheezing between his sentences. “… her rump inflated into a balloon and she’s now floating away into the sky.”
“… really?” Rainbow asked, with a smirk and snigger on her face.
“Really really,” Spike responded, waiting to see Rainbow’s response.
Needless to say, Rainbow and Pinkie started laughing to themselves over the whole ordeal.
“Oh, that Twilight,” Pinkie chuckled. “It’s always her that suffers the misfortunes, isn’t it? Honestly, I didn’t know bees even could do that!”
After laughing for a good while, Pinkie and Rainbow calmed down. After a few more seconds, Rainbow said in a more concerned tone “Jeez, that must be pretty concerning for her. I think she might need help.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Spike responded with pity. “I may have been laughing at her too hard. She’s probably about a kilometre high up in the sky now. She’s probably in desperate need of help. But since you’re here, maybe you could help get her down?”
Rainbow sighed to herself. “Okay, I’ll do it. Sorry I can’t speak with you longer, Pinkie.”
“Heh, no biggie,” Pinkie responded. “I do remember something similar happening to me once, though!”
Rainbow and Spike looked at Pinkie in surprise. Spike asked “Really?”
“Yes,” Pinkie continued. “A bee once stung my patootie while I was working in the bakery. It filled with helium and carried me up into the sky. I was lifted so high that I was transported to another dimension filled with talking cheese!”
Rainbow and Spike just bemusedly stared at Pinkie, trying to comprehend how this happened for the next ten seconds.
Rainbow finally broke the silence with “So where did you say Twilight was, Spike?”
“Aah! Follow me.”
*****
Twilight was now feeling very exasperated and grumpy. Her helium-inflated bottom had now carried her up above the clouds, and it had been a good 15 minutes since Spike ran off. It really didn’t help that, rather obviously due to her predicament, her bottom was now feeling very funny, even if she was not laughing.
“Ugh, this is just ridiculous. How long is my behind going to be inflated for? I bet nopony else suffers misfortunes like this!”
As fate would have it, the bee that stung Twilight’s bottom flew up to her, almost as if to see how she was doing. Of course, Twilight was not happy.
“You?!? What are doing back here, you stupid bee? You’ve already made my rear end the literal butt of the joke here! Just what do you think you were trying to achieve?”
The bee just shrugged its shoulders with a nervous grin on its face. Twilight squinted her eyes, folding her hooves at the bee and giving the calm-but-pissed treatment (yeah, this is where you realise this fanfic is getting adult).
“Listen, bee. Your actions towards me have been incredibly naughty and rude! As a loyal student to Princess Celestia, it is ridiculously impolite for a dumb bee like you to inflate my bottom to such a gargantuan size!!” A few seconds after saying this, Twilight quickly thought about what on Equestria she said — after all, this bee practically violated her, and she just dismissed it as “rude”. Well, that’s perhaps the last time she’s listening to Rarity on how to be assertive.
The bee just giggled at Twilight, before then turning its eyes towards Twilight’s inflated rump, almost as if it were proud of its work.
Twilight became even more agitated. “What are you looking at? Don’t you dare think of stinging my rear end again! I think it's done enough inflating and farting, thank you very much!”
But the bee just ignored Twilight. It flew up towards her giant ballooned bottom, ready to admire what it could see. And what it saw was of great delight. Twilight’s bottom had puffed up so much that her cheeks had spread apart, and her ponut was bulging outwards. The mere sight of this was enough to make the bee all giddy.
Twilight looked upwards towards the bee, which she obviously couldn’t see all too well due to her giant balloon bottom being in the way. “You bloody dare, degenerate bee…”
Her balloon bottom farted again. Twilight, hearing this, hoped that the bee would now be driven away by the noise and stench of her fart. Of course, though, this was wishful thinking. Instead, the bee became even more turned on. It started to repeatedly fly itself into Twilight’s massive bottom cheeks, bouncing off of them as much as it could like a trampoline.
Twilight was still furious at the bee, but its current behaviour was also leaving her flustered and embarrassed, especially as she heard the loud, deep, timpani-esque *booiiiiiing* noises that her gigantic bottom was making in response to the bee hitting it. “This bee better not be developing any kind of attraction to my rump…” she muttered to herself, disappointed that her farts weren’t driving the bee away at all.
The bee kept up with its activity for five whole minutes. Then, it seemed to grow tired, as it slowed down and stopped. Just as Twilight was about to take a breath of relief, however, the bee simply flew up to the top of her inflated bottom, getting close-up to her bulging ponut again. This time, the bee watched for a few seconds as Twilight’s ponut let out a few more farts, before it started to rub itself against Twilight’s bottom, particularly between her ponut and one of her buttcheeks.
This caused Twilight to blush even more. It was dawning on her even more that the bee was trying to mate with her bottom, almost as if it were infatuated with it. Farting again, she snapped back at the bee again for its actions. “Why are you doing this, for Celestia’s sake? Are you really attracted to gigantic, inflated and flatulent derrieres like mine? That’s just sick!”
But the bee kept doing it. For another five minutes. That’s right, Twilight had now been floating in the air for a whole twenty five minutes now. And she was about five kilometres high in the sky. And as much as she’d hate to admit it, she was starting to relax a little from how it actually felt kinda nice of the bee to rub itself against her hindquarters … though she was obviously still hiding this behind a clout of pure anger at the bee.
And then, the bee suddenly decided to plant a kiss on Twilight’s bottom.
This caught Twilight completely off guard, causing her to fart in surprise. This time, she knew the bee was crossing too many lines. Stinging her bottom to turn it into an inflatable farting balloon was naughty enough, but openly trying to act like a little pervert around it was just evil. “That absolutely does it, bee! You are absolutely crossing your boundaries now! I have had absolutely enough!! LEAVE MY BOTTOM ALONE, NOW!!!!!!” And then, unexpectedly, in her anger, Twilight wound up doing something she honestly didn’t know she could do.
During her rage, she accidentally used her ponut to suck up, rather than blow out, some of the air.
This caught her off even more guard than all the activities that the pesky bee was performing on her. This must have been an after-effect from being stung, she thought to herself. However, after thinking for a while, a cunning smile crept upon her face as she came up with an idea for revenge…
“Hey, little bee, can you come down here for a second, please?”
The bee, perplexed, followed Twilight’s request, and buzzed down towards her head.
“So, little bee, you really like my bottom, right?”
The bee nodded its head.
“And you stung it because you like it when it’s huge? Are your brothers not denying? Do you think my bottom in its current state is making Equestria go round?” Twilight was trying to use her best stuffy old bum language to get her point across.
The bee, confused, simply nodded its head in response to Twilight’s odd speech.
“Well, little bee. I have a little task for you involving my inflated bottom…”
The bee was now going from confused to actually becoming excited. To see that Twilight was actually kinda enjoying this now was giving it some of the highest “Mission Accomplished” feelings one could get. So it patiently listened out, to hear what Twilight’s task was.
“So, little bee,” Twilight began. “I think my bumhole is bulging outwards due to how you inflated it. But it’s also feeling rather funny. Would you be able to fly up to it and see what’s wrong, and possibly massage it as well?”
The bee immediately flew up to Twilight’s gigantic balloon bottom as requested. It landed on her ponut, and started to move its little legs around to massage it.
“That’s a good bee,” Twilight said. “Can you see what’s wrong?”
The bee looked down at Twilight’s ponut, trying to inspect what was wrong with it. It moved its little head closer, looking down to see what the problem was exactly. It looked as carefully as it could…
“Psyche!”
Suddenly, Twilight started to use her ponut to suck up the air around her again. This time, the bee was pulled from the force of the sucking right up to her ponut. The bee started to panic. What the hay was happening?
“You like that, little bee?”
The bee shook its little head, but Twilight obviously couldn’t see this.
“Okay, I’ll keep going!” Twilight continued to use her giant balloon bottom to suck, but it was a bit of a struggle due to the bee being in the way.
“One more try should work…”
So she sucked, and sucked, and…
*****
https://youtu.be/40vm6hhrX2I?si=bwCmitjc6jibnCbY
*****
… suddenly, Twilight sucked the pesky bee up through her ponut and into her inflated balloon bottom! The bee was very panicky. Now inside the very thing it stung and inflated, the bee frantically flew around inside in a panic.
“That ought to serve you right, you naughty bee! Oh, but it isn’t over yet…”
And then, Twilight’s inflated bottom started gurgling and squelching about. The bee realised that it was being digested! Twilight was genuinely trying to digest the naughty little thing insider her giant bottom. (Of course, only Twilight knew that digestion happened in the stomach and not in the rear, so it technically wasn’t being digested, per se, but it’s probably the best word to use.)
The bee frantically flew around inside Twilight’s giant bottom, but it was no use. It continued to be digested all the while, all according to Twilight’s plan.
“This really should teach you a lesson! The lesson? Never mistreat a pony who serves the Princess, especially their rump!”
Eventually, after a few minutes had past, Twilight’s digesting of the rude bee started to slow down, as did its frantic flying about inside. The bee was now officially digested.
“… and there we go,” Twilight said, content with her revenge. “That dumb little bee has now been turned into a useless piece of poop that I will expel from my gigantic bottom when necessary! I can finally relax…”
And so she did …
… for a few seconds, that is. Then she remembered that she was about ten kilometres high up in the sky, with her inflated balloon bottom still carrying her up.
“Oh yeah, I forgot about that,” she said, resigned.
“… I’m bored.”
Just then, Twilight heard the sound of flapping wings coming towards her. Did somepony finally find her? Maybe she was about to finally find a way out of this predicament! Twilight got hold of the moment and called out, “Hello, is anypony there?”
“I’m back, Twilight,” called out Spike, who was riding upon Rainbow Dash. “You weren’t gone for too long, were you?”
“Spike, it’s been a whole half-hour! Where the hay were you?”
“Jeez, Twilight, no need to get your horn up in a twist,” Spike responded, annoyed. “I got Rainbow Dash to come up here and help you out with this situation. Right, Rainbow?”
Rainbow wasn’t saying anything. She was just staring in utter disbelief at Twilight’s huge balloon bottom. Her mesmerisation of the bloated thing made her freeze for a few seconds before she finally spoke up. “Is this real?”
“Yes, Rainbow, this is very real,” Twilight responded. “I was out bird watching with Spike when a bee stung my bottom and caused it to inflate into a balloon. Which I just don’t get, as it goes against all sorts of logic! Can you please help me out?”
“… well I’m pretty sure this obviously means that bees inflating your ass is logically possible, Twi,” Rainbow was trying to find the right words while trying to comprehend what she was seeing. She then laughed. “But it definitely does look very comedic!”
Twilight groaned. “Oh come on, Rainbow, not you too!”
“But don’t you find any humour within this scenario? I actually think it’s a little cute! I ain’t just gonna turn the other cheek at this moment!” Rainbow snorted at her own pun, and then gave Twilight’s giant balloon bottom a playful smack.
“OI! Watch were you’re putting those hooves and help me!”
“Sorry, Twi. But what exactly do you want me to do?”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “I want you to stop me from drifting off into deep space! That’s what!”
“Jeez, Twilight, no need to get your horn up in a twist,” Rainbow responded, with exactly the same thing Spike just said a few seconds ago. She then moved towards Twilight and wrapped her hooves around her torso. “I’ll fly you down, Twi. Spike, you hop off of me and get onto Twilight’s huge nerd butt.”
“Nyeh nyeh nyeh,” Twilight muttered grumpily at Rainbow’s “huge nerd butt” remark, as Spike climbed off Rainbow’s back and crawled up Twilight’s hot air balloon-esque rear end. Of course, since Spike was crawling up to the top of Twilight’s bottom, he was immediately greeted by her puffed-up ponut.
“Aah, Twilight! There’s a giant hole in your butt!” He immediately slammed his face into one of Twilight’s bottom cheeks to get the sight out of his eyes.
“…” Twilight responded while rolling her eyes.
Rainbow was more amused by Spike’s naivety, deciding to have a little fun with him. “Oh, that’s just the buttfor, Spike. Anyway, hold on tight, I’m gonna bring us all down.”
And just like that, Rainbow flew down while pulling Twilight and her giant bottom that Spike was riding upon. While flying down, Rainbow decided to make some small talk. “So, you say that bee stung you and flew off, Twi? I bet you can’t wait to see it again and give it a piece of your mind.”
Twilight’s annoyed expression changed into a warm but smug smile with a chuckle. “Oh, the bee? Oh don’t worry, you two. I got my revenge on it.”
Rainbow was perplexed. “Really? How?”
“Well, let’s just say I gave it exactly what it wanted…” Twilight remarked.
“… I don’t understand, Twi. What exactly did it want?”
“Well for the naughty little thing, it’s now what’s on the inside that counts…” Twilight again muttered, trying to be quite cheeky with her clues about the fate of the bee.
“Twilight, you’re nowhere near as good at puns as me and Spike are,” Rainbow said sternly, “So please just tell us.”
“Ugh, okay, fine,” Twilight gave up. “I sucked the bee up into my balloon bum.”
“…http://" Rainbow simply remarked. This whole situation was weird, but to her, what Twilight had supposedly done to the bee was even weirder.
“Yeah, it was pretty obvious that the bee stung my bottom because it was attracted to it. So I told it to go to the opening of my bottom to examine it … and that’s when I sucked it up into my rear. It tried to get out, but it was too late, and my bottom digested it (or whatever the word it). So now, there is a small, bee-sized piece of poop inside of my bottom that needs to be expelled! Tee-hee!” Twilight then shook her giant bottom afterwards, nearly throwing Spike off.
“That’s pretty gross, Twi,” Spike remarked in a mix of tenseness and disgust.
“Yeah. You really used your ass to straight up murder a bee just because it played a prank on you? That’s just messed up on so, so many levels,” Rainbow followed up, feeling bad for the bee.
Twilight started to somewhat complain. “Aww come on, didn’t I just tell you what that bee did to me? It was perhaps the naughtiest and rudest bee I’ve ever come across! I was teaching it a lesson!”
Rainbow and Spike said nothing, and the former continued to fly the three of them down to Zecora’s hut.
*****
The three of them reached Zecora’s hut at the centre of the Everfree Forest.
“Ugh. What a horrible 45 minutes,” Twilight breathed in relief.
Rainbow then tied a nearby rope around Twilight’s torso and the other end around a tree branch. “Now you just wait here with Spike while I go and see Zecora to find a cure for your enflamed rump,” she told Twilight, before heading in.
Zecora was brewing up some kind of potion in her cauldron. She poured multiple kinds of chemicals into the cauldron as it continued to bubble up. Soon, a bang was made, and Zecora took some of the liquid out from it with a ladle, and took a sip.
“Great,” she said in satisfaction. “The ultimate cheese sauce. Onto my pizza, I shall put it across,” she followed up, as she poured some of it onto a pizza nearby her oven and popped the thing inside.
“Yo, Stripes,” Rainbow called out from the doorway. “Can you help us out with something?”
Zecora turned around to see Rainbow behind her. “Ah! Rainbow! How nice to see! Is there some help you need from me?”
“Well, it’s not really me that needs help, Zecora,” Rainbow responded. “Rather, it's something with Twilight. She’s outside.
“Uh-huh, and what is the problem, blue friend? What is it about Twilight that I must tend?”
“Well, err, she was stung by a bee.”
Zecora chuckled. “That’s all? A bee? Are you kidding me?” She laughed again to herself in glee.
Rainbow explained more. “Well, the bee had stung her backside, and when it did, it ballooned up to a gargantuan size and lifted her up into the air. I will admit it does look very funny, but it’s also something I’m pretty sure she wants to be ridden of.”
“Oh dear, well I’m sure her rump isn’t too bad. Have you seen me? My size is rad!”
“What do you mean?”
Zecora chuckled again. “I mean my own booty, it’s the largest in town! How big is Twilight’s? Is hers a clown?” She showed Rainbow her own large rear end to demonstrate.
“Come and see,” Rainbow directed Zecora, walking outside her hut.
*****
While all of this was happening, Spike and Twilight were chatting with each other about the series of events, with Spike now having hopped off Twilight’s balloon bottom.
“I’m sorry I laughed at you earlier, Twi. I just found it too good of an opportunity to enjoy myself.”
Twilight sighed. “It’s alright, Spike. I guess you are just little, after all. I mean, at least I’m safe now. But why did you find it so funny?”
Spike started smirking again. “Well, it was your rear end that the bee stung, and it inflated to such a comical size … I mean, I think it should be pretty obvious.”
After hearing this, Twilight look up at her ballooned bottom, and this time gave off a slight smile. “I guess I do have to admit, it does look pretty funny. I mean, my cutie mark is completely stretched out now! And, of course, that’s not forgetting the fact that I sucked that pesky bee up into it!”
“Please, Twi, don’t remind me of it,” Spike answered back in a disgusted tone.
“Jeez, Spike, no need to get your horn up in a twist,” Twilight smugly responded, hoping to get back at Spike by using the same thing he said earlier (while forgetting that Spike doesn’t have a horn).
At that point, Zecora and Rainbow began to exit the former’s hut. Zecora was asking Rainbow for more details about Twilight’s situation. “So, about Twilight’s rear, what’s wrong with it? Does she have trouble with having a—”
She cut herself off upon noticing Twilight’s situation. There was Twilight, torso tied to a tree branch, with her large balloon of a bottom lifted up. Zecora’s jaw dropped to the flaw and she couldn’t stop rubbing her eyes, doing so about 20 times.
“So, Zecora,” Rainbow asked, “Do you have an idea for a cure?”
Zecora eventually cleared her throat. “I have heard about this condition before, but I’ve never seen it once or more! I can exactly see what’s gone wrong, I really do think my answer is strong!”
The three all chanted in unison “Really?”
“You’ve been stung by an inflata-bee!! And to see this happen, you are a newbie! An inflata-bee inflates whatever it stings, because it enjoys watching such things. Unlike most bees, it doesn’t die after, rather it just lives more off its laughter.”
“Well, yeah, I know it was laughing at me,” Twilight remarked bemused. “It flew up to me again to make it clear.”
“Well where is the bee? Is it still here? I personally want it to see appear.”
Twilight and Spike darted their eyes around in awkwardness, followed by Rainbow whispering into Zecora’s ear about what Twilight did to the bee. Hearing this, Zecora felt almost nauseated.
“… okay, I think I have a solution. Rainbow, Spike, I need your help in execution. First, I will need the bee’s stinger. For our brew, that’s a true beginner.”
Rainbow flew up to Twilight’s inflated bottom, looking for the bee’s stinger. After finding it, she pulled it out in a fast motion, which caused Twilight to wince a quick “Ow!” Then, Zecora, Rainbow and Spike all entered Zecora’s hut again, leaving Twilight tied up outside.
Zecora walked around to her bookshelf, looking through to find the book that contained instruction to brew a cure. “To fix Twilight’s embarrassing look, I have the solution in this here book.”
Spike and Rainbow looked to a magazine on the table, mistaking it for the book she was talking about.
Spike read aloud the title, “… Bun Wrestling?” The cover showed two rabbits fighting it out in a ring.
“No, no, I mean this book! I know this will get Twilight off the hook!” Zecora dropped the heavy book on the desk and started to flick through the pages. All sorts of cures were present for animal accidents: skunk spraying, scorpion stinging, praying mantis love-making…
“Aha! Here it is! I’ll just read to myself what it says!” She read along the pages, and after about a minute, slapped her hooves together. “Okay, I’ve got it! Brewing it should only take a bit!”
She directed Spike and Rainbow to a second cauldron she had, not wanting to pour out her precious cheese sauce from her other cauldron. “Well now, we should begin our quick labour. Have you two got a quill and paper?”
Rainbow plucked a feather from one of her wings, while Spike belched out a scroll. Rainbow passed her feather to Spike, who was ready to start taking notes, only for Zecora to take them both off Spike and drop them into the cauldron. “You put those in first. Next, we crush and add the stinger, as the brew will make its powers reverse.”
She did just that, crushing the stinger with a metal rod. After crushing it and putting it into the cauldron, she grabbed multiple ingredients around her and poured them into the cauldron as Spike and Rainbow watched on. Eventually, the result started to bubble and react.
“Now, to get Twilight cured, we need this,” Zecora explained, holding up a pouring cone with a narrow spout in her hoof. “We enter into her rectal area and pour it in its bits.”
“Count me out,” Spike said hesitantly. “There’s no way I’m going back to her buttfor.”
Rainbow simply chuckled. “I’ll do it.”
Zecora got her ladel out and poured some of the brew into a bottle. The three of them then exited the hut again, and Zecora passed both the brew and cone to Rainbow.
“Okay, Twilight, we’ve made your cure. Hopefully, this will make your bottom more pure.”
“Thank Celestia. I won’t be telling her, by the way.”
Rainbow flew up to Twilight’s big bottom, and she pushed the spout of the cone into her ponut.
“Oi! Rainbow! What the hay do you think you’re doing?”
“Be calm, Twilight, I need to do this,” Rainbow reassured, and slowly but surely, she started to pour the brew down the cone into Twilight’s bottom. Once all the liquid went in, Rainbow gently removed the cone.
“… okay, I’ll bite. What does this do?”
“Shh, shh. Hopefully this will work, Twilight,” Spike reassured.
After a few seconds, a gigantic fart erupted out of Twilight’s bottom. As this happened, her bottom started deflating as it farted out all the helium. Spike and Rainbow looked at her rather revolted at the series of events, but Zecora looked at results with pride, while Twilight just looked relieved at her bottom returning to normal. After some time, Twilight’s bottom has shrunk down to its normal size. She looked at it, happy to see it return to normal, and shook it to herself slightly.
“Thank goodness! My bottom is all fixed! Thank you, Zecora!”
“Eh, it’s all in a day’s work,” Zecora responded, all with a nice smirk.
Spike, wanting to keep cautious, asked her “So, how do we make sure this doesn’t happen again?”
Zecora started to respond. “Well if this happens again this month, I—” she interrupted herself, realising that she couldn’t think of a word that rhymed with “month”. She started to panic, and rushed back into her hut to rush through all her books to find a rhyme.
Twilight, Spike and Rainbow all chuckled, and started to walk back into town.
“Well, Twilight, how are you feeling now?”
“Personally, Spike,” Twilight responded, “My bottom still feels a little tingly, but I think that should go away soon. But you know? I’ve learned something today. When somepony panics about a bee, you shouldn’t dismiss it as a harmless little thing, because it could be more dangerous than you think.”
Rainbow, curious, asked “Do you think you should write a report to Princess Celestia about what you’ve learned?”
To which Twilight balked and responded with “Goodness, no! There’s no way I’m telling her about what happened to me! She’d never let me live it down!!”
*****
Back at Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie was given her lunch break, so she began to head out of the bakery to see if she could catch Twilight’s predicament. Instead, however, she saw her, along with Spike and Rainbow, approaching the bakery.
“Hey,” she asked disappointed. “What gives? I was just about to come over and see the sight!”
Twilight calmly explained “Sorry, Pinkie, but it’s all fixed up now. My bottom’s returned to normal! What the three of us really need is some good cakes and coffee to relax!”
“But I was just about to take my lunch break! This is no fair! I want to see your inflated patootie!”
Twilight tried to calm Pinkie down. “Pinkie, it’s not much of a big deal. C’mon, we could really murder a cuppa.”
Pinkie, however, had found a bee flying right by her, and grabbed it in her hoof. Then, she suddenly started to slam the bee into Twilight’s bottom.
Twilight panicked. “Pinkie! What the hay are you doing?”
Pinkie quickly fired back “I don’t want to miss this, Twilight! I want to see that balloon of yours!”
After slamming the bee into Twilight’s rump a few times, Pinkie slowed down and looked at the bee in her hoof. It didn’t work. Rather, she had simply crushed the bee to death.
"Ugh, pesky bee."
“Well,” Rainbow sarcastically began, “That’s two bees Twilight’s nerd butt has killed. C’mon Pinkie, we really need to relax. Can you please get us some drinks?”
“sigh, okie dokie lokie.””!”
Author's Note
Well, my enjoyment of Navitaserussirus' image has reached my goal of writing a story. Yes, this does resonate with my own ... well, naughty interests. So I don't mind if y'all hate it. Hopefully my writing skills can be compared to my writing hero, Garth Marenghi.
Oh, and PS, if you're thinking of doing this yourself, don't. Not only do bees not inflate what they sting with helium, but actually trying to inflate your ass with anything will cause your intestines to rupture and kill you.
