Chapter 1: Steamboat to Nowhere
The steamboat. At one time, this marvel of grace and beauty was the main way of travelling from one end of Equestria to the other by water, as well as shipping large loads of cargo, at least until the rise of the railroad. However, despite this, a few steamboat companies still exist, and offer cheap rates for passengers and freight to be moved across Equestria via the Applish River. Some take it to experience something new, others take it to help keep such a vital part of Equestria's history alive in the modern world, while others? They seek to get away from something.
Outside of Rainbow Falls, there exists one of these steamboat companies, known as the "Rainbow River Steamboat Company". Their steamboats primarily transport freight down the river, but do have a number of staterooms for passengers as well. At their riverfront docks, known as "Rainbow Landing", a few steamboats were currently waiting to depart while their cargoes were being loaded, while at the ticket office, a handful of Ponies, and a few Humans were waiting in line to purchase tickets to their destination. Finally, after waiting for a while, a lone Human stepped up to the ticket window. The ticket-salespony, Everglade, looked the Human up and down. He looked to be a younger man, stood around 5'10, but seemed very thin and gaunt. His face was covered in stubble, and his smoky-blue eyes seemed tired, and had bags under them. He wore a faded checkered shirt, brown pants with patches on them, a piece of rope for a belt, brown work boots, a faded dark blue peacoat, and a scruffy-looking newsboy cap on his head, covering most of his dark hair. He also had what seemed to be a cigarette in his mouth, but upon looking closer, Everglade saw that it was actually a lollipop stick. Everglade didn't know what to make of him, but assumed that he was either a tramp, or someone who had fallen on hard times.
"Yes, can I help you?" He asked.
The man nodded. "Yes. I'd like to buy a steamboat ticket please."
"Certainly. Where to?"
The man shifted a bit. "I don't know. Where're all these boats going?" He asked, pointing to the 3 docked steamboats.
"Well, the Sandbank's headed back towards Manehattan, the Snowflake's headed up North towards the Crystal Empire, and the Speedy Eagle's heading West towards Tall Tale."
The man's eyes lit up a bit. "That's perfect, as that's right where I'm trying to get to. I'll take one ticket to Tall Tale, please. And just one for a regular cabin."
"Certainly." Everglade then totaled it up. "That'll be 20 Bits, though I'll also need to see some ID before I can let you purchase a ticket."
The man nodded, before reaching into his pocket, and pulling out a faded brown wallet, and 20 Bits. From his wallet, he produced what seemed to be his Driver's License, and handed it, and the Bits to Everglade. He looked at the ID, then at the man, then back at the ID, then back at the man again. The man in the picture seemed to bear little resemblance to the man standing in front of him, but when the man removed his newsboy cap, and pushed his hair back, revealing 2 furry black ears, Everglade finally saw the resemblance.
"Hard times can befall anyone, especially when you least expect them to." The man said quietly.
Everglade nodded, before handing the man his ID, and ticket.
"Thank you. Enjoy your ride on the Speedy Eagle, Mr Ballard."
"Thank you. I'll certainly try to." The man then took his ticket, reached down and grabbed a large trunk with wheels, and a suitcase tied to the top of it that Everglade hadn't noticed before, and carried them off down towards the Speedy Eagle, and when his ticket was taken by one of the boat's stewards, he climbed aboard.
Everglade watched him until he was out of sight on the Speedy Eagle. "Huh. I've met some weird Humans in my time, but that guy.....he was something else. It's almost like.....he was pretending to be someone he wasn't, but yet, why would someone pretend to be a homeless tramp when they weren't?" Everglade wasn't sure, but he would certainly never forget the strange man, who's ID said that he was "Thomas Ballard".
After another hour or so, the Speedy Eagle departed from Rainbow Landing, and was soon on its way West, carrying 12 passengers, 16 crew, and a large cargo of lumber, coal, and various crates of tools and machine parts bound for Tall Tale. The voyage seemed to be going well, and they were making good time towards Tall Tale, but out of everyone and everypony onboard, one man didn't seem to be having a good time at all.
Thomas tended to stay away from the other passengers, and spent most of his time alone in his cabin, or out at one of the rails, staring out into the river as it passed by. He found it hard to sleep, as his sleep was plagued by nightmares; nightmares from his deeply troubled past. Late that night, as the steamboat was passing by near Ponyville, Thomas was once again at the deck railing on the port side of the Speedy Eagle, staring down into the dark water, and listening to the chugging of the engines, and the motions of the steamboat's two side-paddlewheels moving. Faintly, in the light of the full moon, and the lights on the steamboat, Thomas could see his reflection staring back at him. And when he looked at it, all he felt was pain, anger, and despair. He couldn't be here. No he shouldn't be here. Not just in Equestria, but even alive at all. He was dead. He'd been dead for almost 4 years now. Or at least, he told himself that he was dead.
He'd been found during a Police raid on a known drug house in Gary, Indiana, lying on his back on the ratty carpet in an upstairs room, convulsing violently, and foaming at the mouth, overdosing on meth. His body was filthy, dressed in rags, covered in painful sores, and it was clear that he'd been doing meth for quite some time. An ambulance rushed him to a hospital in nearby Chicago where he woke up, and was screaming, thrashing around, and hurling profanity at everyone as he tried to get away from the "Shadow Demons" that were trying to get him. They were everywhere, and they refused to leave him alone. Nurses finally managed to sedate him enough that he wasn't a danger anymore, and they began to examine him, and what was in the pockets of his clothes. All they found was a worn-out wallet, containing only his expired Driver's License, a small metal key, though what it was for was unknown to them, $2.75 in pocket change, a few paperclips, a receipt for a local Waffle House, a lighter, and several bags of meth, and a pipe to smoke them with. After looking him up in their system, the Police were able to determine that he was Thomas Bollard, a 19 year old kid native to Fort Smith, Arkansas, had been in trouble with the Law many times for drug use, breaking and entering, and other offenses, and he was listed as a missing person. His Family was contacted, and at first, they seemed hesitant to come see him, as his drug use, and resulting baggage from that had caused his family so much grief.
He'd stolen from them, stolen from their neighbors, stolen from friends, attacked people, robbed people, broke into houses and cars, even selling his body to strangers, all chasing his next hit of meth. No one in his family seemed to know why he'd started doing meth at 17, as he'd been such a good kid for most of his life until that point, but now he was a completely different person; a monster. He'd been arrested a number of times, and spent time in jail, but couldn't resist the siren call of meth. He'd already OD'd at least once before, but his Parents found him before he succumbed to its effects, and shortly after this, he ran away, and had been missing for almost 2 years at that point. His Family thought that he was dead, but he'd somehow made his way from Fort Smith, Arkansas, to Gary, Indiana, where he'd been living with a bunch of other junkies in that drug house, where the Police had found him at death's door during that raid.
His Parents arrived at the hospital, and were horrified to see what their son had become, and what physical state he was in, and his Mom broke down crying and screaming when she was told that her son's body, inside and out, was completely shot because of his incessant drug use and venereal diseases he'd contracted from exchanging sex for meth, and he had days at most to live. Thomas was kept almost comatose during this time, and in his head, he was constantly reliving the events that had led him to be dying in that hospital bed, aged just 19, with his Parents crying beside him. From him trying meth at a party for the first time at 17, to the terrible things he did to fuel his drug habit, his dropping out of school, the people he hurt, the people he stole from, his run ins with the Law, his OD'ing, and almost dying, his journey to Gary, even the 2 thugs he shot dead in an alley in Des Moines because they tried to jump him, before taking their money and clothes, and moving on.
That was one thing Thomas did often in his journey, change clothes. Different shirts, pants, shorts, socks, and shoes. He began to call himself a "chameleon" because of this. It was also quite handy to be able to change clothes in a pinch if the cops were after you, as if you were lucky enough, they would run past you while looking for the guy wearing "XYZ outfit", which you'd just dumped in a nearby garbage can, and were now wearing "ABC clothes". But throughout it all, one thing Thomas never changed was his name, even still carrying his now-expired Driver's License with him in the wallet he'd gotten for his 7th Birthday. These 2 things, plus the small metal key, were the only links he still had to the person he once was, before the Meth Monster destroyed him.
However, as Thomas lay dying, his Parents were approached by a doctor, Dr. Fritz Ludwig. He was a pioneer of a number of experimental surgeries and treatments in saving the bodies and minds of drug addicts who wanted to change, sometimes even giving them a brand new life in a fully-restored body and mind, but it came with severe risks. There was a chance of death during the procedures, and even if they were successful, there were risks of permanent physical and/or mental damage. His Parents were desperate to have their son back, and knowing that this was their only chance to do so, they took it, and gave their consent to allow Dr. Ludwig to perform the surgeries and treatments on Thomas, who also consented after being brought out of his coma, knowing he was going to die anyway.
The last thing Thomas ever saw was an anesthetic mask being put over his face, the outlines of Dr. Ludwig, and other doctors and nurses in surgical attire, as well as the bright lights of the operating room, and then everything went black.
"And I died on that operating table at some point, either during that initial procedure, or one of the following ones. Thomas Bollard died, but yet, somehow that wasn't the end. But yet it had to have been the end, because I did die, but then how am I still here now? I shouldn't be!" Thomas muttered to himself in the Present.
An unknown amount of time after the final procedure was complete, Thomas opened his eyes again. His mind was still completely foggy, his eyes felt like they were burning, and he was too weak to move, or even talk. He then heard someone say, "He's awake now, Doctor", and then someone bending over him, but then he passed out again.
Sometime after this, Thomas woke up again. This time, he could tell that he was lying in a hospital bed again, and his whole body was covered in bandages, save for his eyes, nose, and mouth, which were covered by a pair of goggles, and a nose and mouth guard respectively.
"How do you feel, Thomas?" A voice to his left asked.
"Like I got crushed by a steamroller." Thomas muttered. "Literally everything hurts, and I'm pretty sure I'm dead."
"Well, let me reassure you, you're not dead, Thomas. Well, I mean you were, you died several times during the various procedures in fact, but luckily my team and I were able to resuscitate you. And it's all over now. You're out of the woods, and well on your way to a full recovery in both body and mind."
"And.....what did you do to me? Why'm I covered in...bandages?"
"Well, to put it simply, we completely reset your body to 'Factory Settings', Thomas. You have the body of a perfectly healthy 19 year old boy; the body you would have had had you never done drugs, with some improvements as well, including perfect 20/20 vision, so you no longer need glasses. Your body has literally zero traces of ever having been exposed to meth, or any other harmful substances, and you're clean of all venereal diseases, and the damage to your mind has also been fully reversed, which your memory remains intact, however,......there were some.....shall we say, 'complications'."
"What does that mean? And who even are you? I can barely see shit with these goggles over my eyes."
"I'm Dr. Fritz Ludwig, and I and my team performed the procedures on you to save your life. And as for complications.....the material we used to restore your body to what it is right now was contaminated. You're still perfectly healthy, both in body and mind......but yet.....there's no easy way to say this, but you're not fully Human anymore, Thomas."
"What....do you mean?" He asked, deep concern creeping into his voice.
"I'll show you."
With help from a nurse, Dr. Ludwig then began to remove the bandages from Thomas's body, as well as the goggles that had covered his eyes, and the guards over his mouth and nose. Thomas looked down at himself. From what he could see, he still looked Human, though his fingernails looked a bit like....claws, and the skin on the insides of his palms and bottoms of his fingertips felt....off. He weakly felt his face, which also felt Human, but his nose felt a bit different, and far more sensitive. His hair felt fine, but.....what were those things on top of his head? They felt furry. They then brought a mirror for Thomas to see himself, and when he saw his reflection, all he could do was stare.
Indeed, for the most part, he did indeed still look Human, but his eyes. Where they had once been brown, now they were smoky-blue, and those furry things on top of his head? Those were ears; black furry wolf ears. Out of fear, he felt the sides of his head, and to his relief, he still has his original Human ears, and could hear out of them just fine. His fingernails and toenails now looked like wolf claws, the bottoms of his fingertips, toes, feet, and palms looked like paw-pads, a black wolf tail protruded from his lower back, and on both of his hips were 2 black pawprints. At first, Thomas thought that they were tattoos, but they were instead made of fur. Thomas had no words to describe what he was seeing.
"And you also have a wolf's vision, the ability to see in the dark, a wolf's senses, including hearing and smell, and greater speed, agility, and endurance. You're Human enough, but with wolf traits now." The Nurse informed him.
Thomas looked at Dr. Ludwig, and all he could say was, "......How?"
Dr. Ludwig sighed. "The material that we were using to rebuild your body was taken from the deceased body of a Lycan. We were unaware of this until it was far too late, and we had no choice but to proceed, otherwise you would have died."
Thomas stared. He knew of the Lycans very well. They were a number of Humans who'd been attacked by werewolves (prior to said werewolves being hunted down and killed), and because of this, their bodies began to change. Some still looked fully Human, but others looked very similar to what he now looked like. They were known as "Lycans", despite lacking the ability to become a werewolf. Many were seen as outcasts in society because of their appearance, and by accident, material from a Lycan's body was used to rebuild him, and the changes were permanent.
"This has got to be either an episode of 'Tokyo Ghoul', or a bad dream." Thomas muttered.
He was still in shock about the whole ordeal, as were his Parents, but despite Thomas's new wolf features, they were thanking God that He not only allowed Dr. Fritz to bring their son back to them, but gave him his life back, thus giving him a second chance to start anew. As far as everyone knew, Thomas Bollard had died in a Chicago Hospital from a drug overdose, and his body was donated to science. Now though, Thomas Ballard (now spelled with 2 "a's" rather than an "o" and an "a"), left the hospital a new man, literally and figuratively, and was brought back to Fort Smith, Arkansas to rebuild his life.
But even once back in Arkansas, things didn't go very well for Thomas. Many people still despised him for the monster he'd been while addicted to meth, and were slow to forgive, even when he tried to make amends for what he did. Even more ridiculed him for now being a Lycan, and this made finding work, and living a normal life difficult. His Family did their best to shield him, but they couldn't always be there for him, and at night, he would still be haunted by the demons of his past, making it very hard for him to sleep. Finally, after a number of months of abuse, torment, and being haunted by the fact that he was alive, when he should have been dead, made Thomas attempt to take his own life again. He tried to hang himself in the upstairs bathroom in his Parents's house, but the shower rod wasn't as sturdy as he thought it was, and after only a few seconds, he, the rope he was using, the shower rod, and the shower curtain all came crashing down to the floor.
As he lay there on the bathroom floor in a crumpled heap, still with the noose around his neck, he stared up at the bathroom ceiling.
"Hey God? I don't know if you're there or not, or if you can even hear me, but if you are, please give me some sort of sign for what to do, since killing myself has failed. I'll take anything at this point."
At this moment, a breeze blew threw the bathroom, blowing something off of the bathroom sink counter, and it gently fell down onto his face. Thomas grabbed the object, and after looking at it, he soon realized that it was a travel brochure, advertising vacations in Equestria, the nation that Earth had some contact with, and various people visited, some for vacation, some for work, and others to live, or a combination of the 3. And then it hit Thomas, the solution to his problems.
"Yeah, I'll go to Equestria to find work. It'll be a fresh start for me, and living among Ponies, and other creatures, perhaps they won't bat an eye so much at my being a Lycan."
And so it was arranged. Though it took a lot of convincing, his Parents finally agreed to the idea of letting Thomas go to Equestria to start his life over, and after packing up various items into a large trunk with wheels, and a large suitcase, he tied the suitcase to the top of the trunk, and caught a train to Equestria to start the next Chapter of his life. However, things didn't go as well as he'd hoped.
For the next 4 years, the now 23 year old Thomas bounced around Equestria, moving from one job to the next, and like he'd done before, with each new location he visited, he'd be wearing a different outfit, and trying to reinvent himself in a new way. He held a variety of jobs, from dishwashing and cooking in local restaurants, to road maintenance, logging, mining, truck driving, picking up trash, general maintenance, groundskeeping, pool cleaning, and he even joined the Equestrian National Guard, and served a few years with them before his enlistment ended, but none of them felt like a good fit for him. He felt extremely isolated, and because of his past trauma, and being haunted by the demons from his past, coupled with him being a Lycan, it was extremely difficult for him to make friends, and constantly moving around like a vagabond didn't help either. He tried going to therapy, but his Equestrian therapist wasn't prepared to handle what Thomas told him, so he promptly dismissed Thomas as a client. Eventually, Thomas settled on wearing hats to hide his wolf ears, and jackets or baggy shirts to hide his wolf tail, or tucking it into his pants, and pretending to still be fully Human. It helped, at least on the outside.
During these 4 years, Thomas usually either lived in a motel, lived in employee dormitories, or briefly lived with a roommate, at least during the Winter months. When the weather was nice, he usually just lived out of the back of his trusty surplus M35 US Army truck.
He'd bought it from a truck lot that sold used heavy-duty trucks and machinery a short time after coming to Equestria, and spent his free time working on it. He gave it a hard-top roof, a front-mounted winch made for the M35's, proper AC, better heating, added an FM/AM radio, as well as making it Bluetooth-compatible, and capable of playing music from his phone, and charging it, as well as adding adequate speakers, and he tinkered with the engine. He wanted to get more power out of it, so he took its original LDT 465 engine, added in parts from a Caterpillar 3116, put on a turbocharger, added in or subtracted a few more parts, and viola! He now had a powerful diesel engine that could give him up to 75mph on the highway, and slightly better fuel economy as well. Originally, it still had its original 5-speed manual transmission, but when that blew out, and Thomas was unable to find adequate parts to fix it at the time, he had to replace it with a 4-speed automatic transmission while he came up with the return it back to its 5-speed manual transmission. He also made sure the truck had its bows and canvas tarpaulin cover to mount over the side-racks in case he needed/decided to use them, and he also installed a Northern-Lite truck bed camper in the back of a surplus US Army M105 cargo trailer he pulled behind his truck for his comfort and privacy when he was living out of his truck (while still having plenty of space to store more things in the bed of the truck itself).
Wherever Thomas went, the truck, trailer, and Northern-Lite bed camper went with him, until recently, when Thomas was working a temporary job outside of Rainbow Falls on a forestry crew, and there wasn't anywhere to store them, so he left them at a vehicle storage facility in Ponyville, worked the job in Rainbow Falls, and when that was done, he gathered up his belongings that he had with him, put them back in his big rolling trunk and suitcase, and was off on his next adventure. Now he was heading towards Tall Tale, where he heard they needed workers at a steel mill out there.
"All I gotta do is get out there, see if I can land a job, and then I can take a train back to Ponyville, get my truck, trailer, camper, and my other belongings that I left there, and then drive back to Tall-Tale." He thought to himself, finally looking up from the dark water. "By sometime tomorrow, I'll be in Tall-Tale, and then things will be alright." He then put on his headphones, and began to listen to his favorite song, "Karma Chameleon", by "Culture Club", though right then, he was listening to the "Voyage Edition", by "Drew Love", as it seemed the most fitting.
However, little did Thomas know, he wasn't going to be making it to Tall Tale, as very quickly, events were going to occur that would put him on a new path in life.
After the steamboat passed Ponyville, the weather began to change. The full moon, which had been shining brightly, was now obscured by clouds, and a fog began to roll in. This began to make it hard for the steamboat's Pilot to see where he was going, and he knew that he had to be very careful, as since the river was always changing, there was a risk of running into snags, sandbanks, rocks, the riverbank itself, or in some cases, the wrecks of previous ships that had sunk in the river, and never been fully salvaged. The Pilot knew about these risks, however, he'd been piloting steamboats along the Applish River for close to 15 years now, and he thought he knew where everything was, and maybe he did, but the fog was messing with his sense of direction, and it's been hotly debated on whether or not he ever saw the jagged snag he was about to crash into before the steamboat hit it, but whether or not he saw it was irrelevant; due to his being careless in the fog, and the Captain of the Speedy Eagle wanting to keep to time, and not slowing down much in the fog, the fate of the steamboat, and all those aboard her, were already sealed.
Just as the song ended, and he was about to go back inside his cabin, Thomas took one last look towards the bow of the steamboat, and to his horror, thanks to his wolf vision, he saw a large, jagged tree in the water, right in the steamboat's path, just visible as the fog was clearing.
"Oh no! SNAG!!!! THERE'S A SNAG DEAD AHEAD!!!!" He shouted, looking up towards the steamboat's pilothouse. However, just as he started shouting, the Captain blew the steamboat's whistle, drowning out his yells, but a few other passengers on deck heard it, but had little time to react right away, and then things happened very quickly.
With a sickening *CRUNCH!!!!* the Speedy Eagle hit the snag, which immediately began to tear large gashes into the wooden hull of the bow of the steamboat along the port side, and the steamboat immediately began to take on water. Water surged into the cargo area, and soon snuffed out the steamboat's boilers, and the crew in those areas, as well as the engine compartments immediately began to abandon ship, as it was soon be flooded. They radioed up to the pilothouse that while the engines were now stopped, the damage from the snag was fatal, and the Speedy Eagle was soon going to sink. Knowing how badly he f@#ked up, the Pilot quickly ran from the pilothouse, and began to help the stewards bang on doors to rouse the rest of the crew and passengers sleeping in them, and tell them to get up, and get out fast, as the steamboat had hit a snag, and was soon going to be sinking, while the Captain quickly began to radio for help.
Thinking fast, Thomas ran back into his cabin, and with practiced precision, packed all of his stuff up into his trunk and suitcase, tied the suitcase to the top of the trunk, lugged them out onto the deck, and after praying that they would hold together, and float, he then picked them up, and tossed them overboard. He then pulled his newsboy cap tighter onto his head, and buttoned up his peacoat before looking down to see some crew and passengers in the water, swimming towards the nearby riverbank, while a lifeboat was being lowered, containing most of the passengers. While he was still watching the lifeboat though, the steamboat suddenly lurched to the left, and began to capsize. Thomas quickly climbed over the railing and jumped, as did several other passengers and crew, including the Captain, and they all landed in the water as the steamboat capsized with a resounding *SPLASH!!!* as its smokestacks, upper decks, and pilot house hit the water.
All of those in the water could thank their lucky stars that it was an unseasonably warm Spring that year, and the water of the river was tolerable, placid, and not moving fast. Many began to swim for the lifeboat, or towards riverbank, while Thomas swam towards his trunk and suitcase, which thankfully were floating nearby, and after grabbing onto them, he began to swim with them towards the riverbank where the survivors were gathering. In less than 2 1/2 minutes after the hitting the snag, the Speedy Eagle was now lying on her side in the Applish river, almost completely sunk, and by some miracle, there were no fatalities. All 12 passengers, and 16 crewmen survived; some by jumping into the water, some in the lifeboat, and the rest moved to the starboard side, waited for the ship to finish sinking/settling, and then jumped off, and swam towards the riverbank, which was only about 15 yards ahead of them. As Thomas swam to safety though, from inside the trunk, he could hear the sounds of "Karma Chameleon" playing again, most likely from his phone's music play button getting bumped. He didn't mind though, and swam in time to the music, soon making it to the safety of the riverbank.
By the time they were all on shore together, everyone and everypony were confused, thankful to be alive, but above all else, either very angry at their current predicament, and wondering how the heck it had happened. Angry arguments with the Captain and the Pilot had broken out when rescue workers arrived, resulting in them having to be separated by law enforcement, who began to take statements, while EMT's tended to the passengers and crew, some of whom had been injured during the ordeal. Thomas was ok, just wet and shivering from the river, and his clothes were soaked.
Luckily, the incident had occurred only about 10 miles away from Ponyville, so once everyone and everypony had been taken care of, they were being provided transportation to Ponyville, where they would be given rooms at the Ponyville Inn to stay in for the night, and so that this whole mess could be sorted out, refunds given, and of course, the seeds of lawsuits sown.
As he and the others were being driven into Ponyville, Thomas looked towards the lights of the town, which were getting closer and closer.
"Well, I guess I'll be picking up my truck, and everything else from that storage facility a bit sooner than I expected." He thought to himself, eagerly looking forwards to a shower, and a goodnight's sleep. And in the morning, he'd figure out how to get to Tall-Tale.
THE END.......?
Author's Note
And, that was "Steamboat to Nowhere", now officially the darkest story I've ever written. What inspired me to write such a ghastly story about drug abuse, suicide, second chances, and a steamboat sinking? It was a mixture of things, including watching too many scary anti-meth PSA's on YouTube, wanting to show how even when things are at their darkest, there's still hope for redemption, and the story of the Steamboat Arabia, which sank on the Missouri River in 1856. However, some of you may be wondering, will this story be leading to another? Is it a prequel to something? And for that, I must say that you all need to wait and see
In the meantime, as always, Comments, Questions, Feedback, ~~as well as spreading the Word about this story~~ are always appreciated, and I'll see you all again soon!
ScarFox out for now!
(I also sincerely hope that I didn't offend anyone with this story, as this was the first time I've ever delved into a story with this graphic of detail about drug use, its harmful effects on yourself, and those around you, as well as suicide. I did my best, and I hope that I did ok with it)
