Twas Heartswarming eve, when all through the keep,
Not a creature was stirring, not one peep.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that some alicorn stallion soon would be here.
The elements were nestled all snug in their stable,
While visions of shipping with each other were they able.
And Celestia in her tiara, and I in my armor,
I had just settled down awaiting my studly charmer.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
I swore as wast faster than Rainbow Dash.
The moon on my heaving breast started to glow,
I gave in to the lust of mine loins to object below.
There to my wondering eyes got a jolts,
But a grand royal coach pulled by the Wonder Bolts.
With a black and red alicorn, so sexy and lewd,
I knew in that moment that he'd been Gary Stu'd.
More rapid than Shadow Bolts his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!
"Now Spitfire! now, Rapidfire! now, Fleetfoot and Soarin'!
On, Breezie! On, Misty! , on Surprise and LORAN!"
From the top of the gazebo I heard them all say.
"Rainbow Dash! Rainbow Dash won't you lead us some day!"
As the Equestian flag ruffled as flown,
My feelings for the stallion had grown.
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the coach full of sex aids, and Gary Stu too.
And then, next to a twinkling ballon on the roof
I heard the pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney the alicorn came with a bound.
He was colored all black from his head to his foot,
And his mane was all red, like a beet root.
He grabbed me and flung me on my back,
And he looked me in the eye as he readied his sack.
His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
I just couldn't wait til he busted my cherry!
His trollish little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the bead of his cum was as white as the snow.
The stub of a cigar he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a stern jaw and I had butterflies in my belly,
He mounted me and laughed, "bring out the KY jelly!"
I couldn't argue against him, he was like an elf,
I've never felt so good that I doubted myself!
In the wink of an eye I was giving him head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And he took off my stockings, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!
He sprang to his coach, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Hearth's Warming to all, and to all a good-night!"
Twilight Sparkle and the Sleepy Hollow
Listen my foals and you shall remarkle
Of the midnight ride of Twilight Sparkle,
Who rode one night through Sleepy Hollow;
Who thought the supernatural quite shallow
"Those who believe should date that dragon Crackle."
The Headless Horse was said to be an alicorn,
Whose coat was as dark as midnight,
Whose hatred caused his wings did shorn.
And lost his head with red mane bright.
Cursed forever to run the lea;
And search every night for his head to see.
Said the Great and Powerful Trixie
Who got the story from a pixie,
During her travels thru the heart of Dixie.
As Snips and Snails stood amazed,
Jaws dropping and eyes all glazed.
Twilight Sparkle was there to say,
"Were you born just yesterday?
Tis just a quaint and simple fable;
Meant to keep foals in the stable.
I'll prove the story false for I'm most able
The supernatural is just bunk not dignified
Like science; these lies I'll not abide."
So off she rode through alley and street
Past ponies enumerable waving hooves and cheers,
Through the Everfree Forest she had no fears.
Past Froggy Bottom Bog, that blackest moor,
At the edge of the hallow she stamped her feet,
Her nostrils flared as she twitched her ears;
She'd prove that story false, that's her chore.
Then she rode down the Old North Trail,
Past the woody briar, with stealthy tread,
To the central clearing the moon overhead,
Past the willow branches she broke their veil
At the end of the road, she doth made
The ghostly vistage of that evil shade.
Her trembling hooves; he stood steep and tall,
With his terrifying majesty her courage did fall,
She turned and fled back toward the town,
A stumble; she fell almost broke her crown.
Luna's pale moonlight flowing over all.
She ran like being chased by the Golden Horde,
Oer the covered bridge to the top of the hill,
Wrapped in silence so deep and still,
Suddenly she was hit with an orange gourd,
She woke up feeling sick and woozy
Finding she was dressed like a floozy,
There was the G&PT dressed all raunchy
Ready for a session of lewd debauchery
Tied to the wall with a magic cord
Pinkie would say "This was a doozy";
"This is what you get for being so nosy."
Said Trixie as she approached with a sexy sway,
"I bet you didn't know that I was gay,
And I'm here to help you sow your wild oats,
We'll have fun at least til we get to the goats."
Later, impatient to mount and ride,
Dildo inserted; the length she took with pride,
Approaching the form of Twilight Sparkle.
Now she patted nervous eqines side,
How she gazed with a bishie sparkle,
Then, impetuous, stamped the earth,
And said "Prepare to take this girth."
Exhausted, she disengaged and around did search
Queried "Are you ready for the birch?"
As it rose above her flank, she stood still,
Her cutie mark getting the most to break her will.
And lo! Her looks, what a delight,
Her glimmer was gone no gleam of light.
With ease she took to the saddle, the bridle, in turns,
But lingers and amazes, till the middle of the night.
"I'm yours forever, I love the whip burns."
A hurry of hoofs in a village street,
A shape in the moonlight, a bulk in the dark,
And beneath, from the pebbles, in passing, a spark
Struck out by a mare flying fearless and fleet;
That was all! And yet, through the gloom and the light,
The fate of a nation was riding that night;
And the spark struck out by that pegasus, in her flight,
Kindled the land into flame with its heat.
She has left the village and mounted the steep,
And beneath her, tranquil and broad and deep,
In Equestria, where could she hide;
And under the alders that skirt its edge,
Now soft on the sand, now loud on the ledge,
Is heard the tramp of her hooves with pride.
It was twelve by the village clock
When she crossed the bridge into Ponyville town.
She heard the crowing of the cock,
And the barking of Applejack's dog,
And felt the damp of the river fog,
That rises after the sun goes down.
It was one by the village clock,
When she galloped into Hoofington.
She saw the gilded weathercock
Swim in the moonlight as she passed,
And the meeting-house windows, black and bare,
Gaze at her with a spectral glare,
As if they already stood aghast
At the gloomy work they would look upon.
It was two by the village clock,
When she came to the bridge in Canterlot.
She heard the bleating of the flock,
And the twitter of birds among the trees,
And felt the breath of the morning breeze
Blowing over the meadow brown.
And Celestia was safe and asleep in her bed
Who at the morn would be first to call,
Who that day would be filled dread,
Pierced by a Princess's grieving fall.
Twilight Sparkle's heart doth swoon
To the power of Trixie Lulamoon
They searched Equestria to no avail
They never found her head or tail.
Celestia was in ever mourning,
Her brother was forever journing.
Whenever told the tale vile,
The G&PT had a smile.
