Rainbow Dash stood just outside the docking gate, her Luna-black jumpsuit was snug around her body. On her flanks were embroidered moons, meant to represent Luna’s cutie mark. On her chest, the Celestial Star, most commonly seen on EUP guard members. Her mane no longer sat flat on her head, instead resembling her mentor Spitfire; swept back and styled by the whipping wind. She gazed up wistfully at the rocketship, clutching her spherical helmet tightly under her wing. This billion-bit project had taken years to design, fund, and build. It was the most expensive and ambitious endeavor Equestria had built since Canterlot was founded. She felt small in its presence. In her books and comics she’d always watched ponies climb into space shuttles and gigantic mechs that tower over Canterlot Castle, but to stand mere feet away from such a machine…it made her heart flutter. Still, she stood proud, knowing several cameras were pointed right at her.
“Are you sure you’re ready, dear?” Windy Whistles said behind her. Rainbow turned to see her mother’s misty eyes. Her smile was huge but her eyes looked like they would start pouring waterfalls. Even Bow Hothoof, her father, seemed to be holding back an ugly cry.
The rainbow-maned mare gave them an empathetic smile, set down her helmet, and rushed to hug both of them, wrapping her hooves tightly around both of their necks. Their thinning coats against her own fur made her think for a moment about their age, and she chuckled wryly into her fathers chest, “You guys know that I’ve been training for this for moons.”
“We know, we know,” Bow said as he used one of his massive purple wings to wrap up his daughter, the tips now frayed and graying, “W-We’re just, so proud of you,” his voice quivered. Rainbow could hear his heart pounding against her ear, “And also worried.”
“And excited!” Windy added, using her own aging wing to overlap her husband’s, “I-It’s just, you’ll be the first pony to ever explore space, a-and you’re all grown up, a-and…” she paused as she swallowed the lump in her throat, and tried to smile as she started to cry in earnest, “We’re just..so h-happy for you!!” The older mare wailed, and suddenly pulled Rainbow into herself. Even though her daughter was significantly taller than her, she somehow managed to encompass Rainbow with both arms and wings as she sobbed into her chest.
Rainbow Dash had the initial urge to push away, though she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She let her mother get it all out, and she hugged back as tightly as she could, “Y-You guuuyys, you’re gonna make me cry in front of everypony.” She tried to hide the crack in her own voice as tears welled up in her eyes.
“Sorry! Sorry—“ Bow started as he wiped his eyes, though Rainbow Dash brought him in again, and the large stallion wrapped both mares in his wingspan. None of them spoke for a few moments, relishing in each other's company for the last time in what was going to be 10 months.
As Rainbow finally, gently pulled away, she heard a raspy voice from behind her dad, “Save some of the hugs for us!” Scootaloo called out. The blue pegasus’s parents stepped aside, revealing her five friends, plus Scootaloo, who had also come to see her off. Rainbow Dash’s smile and tears grew as she dashed towards them, flapping her wings to give her an extra boost as she tackled the group of them into a pastel-rainbow pile of laughter and tears. Even Princess Twilight Sparkle, the regal alicorn who was usually so stoic and graceful, lit up her horn as she sobbed with her friends, and used her magic to embrace all of them at once.
“You guys, you all didn’t have to do this!” Rainbow Dash said through sniffles.
“Aww, sugarcube!” Applejack exclaimed as she squeezed her spouse closer, “Of course we would all be here! We couldn’t be happier for you.”
“I just canNOT believe how far you’ve come, darling,” Rarity continued, sniffling as she fanned herself, mascara already running down her boney cheeks.
Rainbow used the bend of her wing to wipe her eyes, “I really couldn’t have done it without all of you.” She gazed at each one of them, taking in their faces. “I mean it, you all have done so much for me, and supported me when I didn’t believe in myself,” she let a chuckle escape her throat, “And knocked me down a few pegs when I needed it.”
The group laughed sadly, and Fluttershy finished hers with a sigh “Just don’t forget us little ponies when you’re big and famous.” She put a hoof on Rainbow’s shoulder, and the blue pegasus noticed her friend's cyan eyes were already slightly red and puffy. Rainbow Dash’s heart sank at the fact she knew Fluttershy had cried even more than this before she got here.
“Pinkie Promise I won’t!” She exclaimed, crossing her chest with her hoof before putting it over her eye, and she beamed with tears dotting them. It suddenly dawned on her that Pinkie Pie hadn’t said a word this whole time. Her rosy orbs shifted to the pink mare, though suddenly, she paused.
Pinkie’s face…it was uncanny. She was not smiling, something already strange, but she looked much, much younger, like the day they started hanging out together. She was a little lankier too, and her eyes looked much smaller, duller, almost, with pupils too large to be natural. It wasn’t quite Pinkie Pie…and her expression was unreadable.
“Pinkie?” Rainbow asked, standing carefully and walking closer to her friend, though she quickly stopped when she realized her friend wasn’t even standing on the platform. She was just standing in mid-air. She’d never lost her magical touch; being able to bounce around and seemingly defy reality if she so wished. But she was so lively whenever she was like that…so why—
“You Pinkie Promised.” Her voice was flat, but also accusatory.
“What—? Pinkie Pie I don’t understand—“
“You Pinkie Promised” She said again, as if it was the same moment on loop. Nothing except her mouth moved.
“Pinkie, you're scaring me!” Rainbow Dash’s wings flared up, and she took a step back as a feeling in her spine made her fearful.
“You Pinkie Promised. You Pinkie Promised. You Pinkie Promised.” She repeated the phrase faster, and faster. It even seemed like her words were beginning to overlap one another.
Rainbow stepped back more, though noticed she couldn’t feel the metal grate under her hooves anymore. She was standing on air just like her friend, or whatever this thing was. She looked down, and saw that the ground was much blurrier than she remembered, as if her eyes could not focus. It almost looked like it had started to spin. “Pinkie, stop it!!” She cried as she met her friend's eyes again, though her words could barely be heard over the sound of Pinkie’s voice growing louder, and louder. Her voice didn’t change tone, however, it was simply growing in volume, like a storm.
Rainbow Dash sat and covered her head with her wings and arms, squeezing her eyes shut. This was too much. This isn’t what it was supposed to be! This wasn’t how she remembered it!! This isn’t—
Rainbow Dash woke with a gasp. Cold droplets of sweat lifted off her brow. She drew a hoof to her heart as she breathed hard. It drummed against her chest and in her ears in a dull rhythm; it was a solemn reminder that she was still here. She still hadn’t escaped. Her eyes adjusted to the darkness of her cubby. She stared at its ceiling as she tried to breathe, this sheet of plastic mere inches above her nose. The tiny spheres of sweat drifted around her, some even already had stuck to the roof of her cubby. She felt hot, and couldn’t get herself to calm down enough to go back to sleep.
Using her hooves, she unbuckled the straps over her chest and stomach that kept her body from floating freely. She then grunted softly as she pushed herself from the slot, sliding out like a body on a gurney, and used her wings to push herself away from the bed into the dark, free-floating room. As she did this, the automatic lights buzzed to life, though flickered for a moment.
Rainbow squinted and rubbed her eyes, feeling off after her dream. She used her wings like that of a diving bird, propelling herself through the weightlessness of the crew compartment, being dragged by the loose jumpsuit, and stopped herself by grabbing onto the handle of a locker. They were simply several stacks of smaller cubbies. She located a specific one at the top, pulling it open quietly. Inside was a small, free-floating stack of other books, though they were so tightly packed together that they could barely move at all. Rainbow took out the topmost one and a pencil. She used her wing feathers as a set of digits as she grabbed the pencil, and opened the book with her hooves to an empty page. Using her free wing, she grabbed the remaining blank pages and flipped through them; ten sides left after today’s entry. A pang of anxiety made her heart stop for a second, though she tried to shake it off, looked at the clock on the wall, and began to write.
Day 4459,
I had that dream again. They’re still getting worse. I’m remembering less and less. Like, every time it starts out with me on the loading dock, then I hug my parents, and then my friends… I still don’t remember what Scootaloo said to me… One of my biggest fears for when I get back is not being able to look Pinkie in the eye. It’s awful…listening to her. I genuinely thought I could feel them this time though
She stopped herself before she continued.
The ship's magical fuel supply is getting lower every day, I don’t know if I’m even gonna be able to use the lights soon. I need to make it last as long as I can… It’s causing me more anxiety than I care to have.
As for my physical health, I’m fine. Mental health is becoming another story. It’s still small things, like I’ll hear something that kind of sounds like my friends voices, or Tank’s shell hitting something. Really I know it’s just pipes and wires and machine noises.
I think I’d actually be a little scared if I heard someone else’s voice.
She paused, feeling a chill up her back.
I’m holding out hope, though. The utilities are still functioning, and I haven’t noticed a change in that water recycling spell. I’m sure when I get back Twilight will have a million and one questions about all the spells that were casted and how long they lasted.
(Reminder - list of spell duration is in the second drawer with the manual)
She stopped again, scanning the words once, twice, then she closed the book, unable to think of anything else to write. She realized she was upside down, and had to use her wings to once again maneuver herself right-side-up. She slipped the pencil and journal back into the cubby and closed it, though didn’t feel fulfilled. She barely had anything interesting to write about for the past few years.
Rainbow felt a hollowness in her stomach, an ache that she had yet to get used to. She knew skipping meals would not help her in any way physically, but she needed to stretch this out for as long as she possibly could. Even as she looked at the galley, she resisted the temptation.
She pushed herself again, swimming through the weightless space. It was one of the only things left that she enjoyed about this iron cage; the fact she could just float, and let all senses leave as she retreated into her mind. Though she couldn’t deny that she continued to dream of once again flying through the clouds of Equestria. She missed the wind in her mane, the speed, the daring heights she achieved with her bare body. Her team…
She blinked and shook her head as emotion welled up in her heart, focusing her eyes on the hole in the ceiling which led to the flight deck. An odd energy had settled into this room, it gave Rainbow Dash an uneasy feeling in her legs every time she was in that place. Maybe it was the several windows looking out into the star-speckled void; a beautiful yet haunting sight. It always made Rainbow feel small. Or perhaps it was the dozens of multicolored sticky notes accumulated throughout the decade she’d been aboard the shuttle, blanketing the control panels in reminders and warnings. She’d long since run out.
She crawled into one of the two seats in front of the control panel, the left one was her favorite. She sighed to herself as she stared out into the emptiness. Unfortunately, despite her years of floating, she had been nowhere near another planet. Sometimes it really did feel like she had stayed in one place, though as the stars lazily moved out of her field of view, she knew she had only drifted further into the depths of space.
Being alone with her thoughts was a chilling thing she’d only grown accustomed to; wondering how or why this journey had gone so awry. After over a decade, it was hard to recall specific details, especially at Rainbow’s age…Age…she’d aged significantly during her time. Her formerly toned physique had slowly withered away into sunken cheeks and hollow eyes. Her custom-tailored uniform now hung loosely from her body. Her ribs had also started to stick out under her coat. She held a hoof in front of her eyes, seeing the skin and fur sag just slightly, and used her other hoof to prod and poke at it like a foreign object. She then pressed the tip of her hoof against the wrist of her first, and felt a faint pulsing. Seeing as there were no doctors to tell her how healthy she really was, Rainbow relied on just her own basic knowledge to make sure she wasn’t dying, or something similar.
She let both arms drop to her stomach as she sighed through her muzzle, and stretched her front legs. Her rosy eyes scanned the surface of the control panel a little more carefully, though as usual there was nothing blinking or beeping. Really, she knew most of the controls were useless, the magical reserves were only powering the bare essentials now. The ship was a dying, hollow shell, and she was its prisoner. Seen as this was the first trip to space any normal pony had ever ventured, the ship was designed to be reusable, therefore most of it was actually empty on the inside. The mid-fuselage was meant to release satellites if the first orbit went well, though it was clear to Rainbow that likely wouldn’t be happening any time soon. She couldn’t even fly in that massive hollow drum; her space suit was too bulky to allow it, and there were too many exposed wires to do it safely.
The mare breathed through her muzzle slowly. She was restless, tired, bored. She’d read every book she’d brought with her a dozen times over. She’d memorized nearly every word, and even recited a few when she was showering. It never occurred to Rainbow how her muttering to herself would’ve made her look crazy to any onlooker, but it was the only thing she could think of to keep herself from going mad otherwise. That, and writing. She’d written an entire novel some years back in the extra notebooks she had lying around. Maybe she’d go back to edit that…
A metallic sound made Rainbow’s ears perk up, and she shot up in her seat on high-alert. Her ears swiveled as they attempted to locate the sound. She stayed completely still for a few moments until…another sound, a bang, almost. Faint and dull. The pegasus used her wings to propel herself up and to the middle of the control deck. Surely this wasn’t all in her head. There was something, somewhere. Debris? An alien? Rainbow once again waited, another bang, it was coming from below! She clambered down to the artificially lit room, heart suddenly racing for what felt like the first time in moons.
“Hello?” She called out as she landed on the floor. Her wings flared as she looked around wildly, “Is someone there?” Maybe someone was finally here to rescue her! And they were trying to get in! To her right, there was a hatch that led to an airlock, and then the mid-fuselage, which then led outside. Another sound of something hitting metal, this time it sounded like it was coming from inside the mid-fuselage. “I’m coming! Just hold on.” She said before her mind caught up with her mouth. Surely it was someone if they were making this much noise. There was no other explanation.
As fast as she could, she raced to a larger locker and took out her space suit. She grunted and growled as she put it on over her regular insulated suit. While normally it would have taken her 15 minutes, in her rush and panic she managed to pull it on in just 5, all the while listening out for the rhythmic bangs. Was that a voice? She put on her helmet and slid into the airlock after throwing the door open. The mid-fuselage was not filled with oxygen like her usual cramped part of the ship, so she had to, at least attempt to, hurry the process of getting through the airlock and into the vessel. Finally, she pushed herself out and into the darkened chamber.
As she caught her breath, it suddenly hit her. There was…
“Nothing…”
…she panted, condensation gathering on the visor. Her ears swiveled desperately even from inside their covering. Nothing…no…no this can’t be right. It was so clear!
“Hello—?!” She called out, though caught herself when she remembered that she was severely muffled in the suit. Her wings were enclosed in the suit as well, and while providing very little mobility, it was enough to let her swim through the weightless, empty room. Her heart was still beating loudly as she desperately looked for life. Every nook and cranny that could possibly be used as a hiding spot was searched, yet each hiding spit was also completely void of anything else alive. It wasn’t until Rainbow reached the end of the cavernous tunnel that a thought came to mind.
Was I just…hallucinating…?
The thought made her go cold, and feel the chill in the room. She turned to look back at the tunnel, even up to the ceiling. Rainbow whimpered as she took in her surroundings; the darkness that bled inwards toward her, the low buzz of magic just beneath the streams of sheet metal and wire, the loneliness. She remembered why she didn’t come out here very often…it was a hop, skip, and a jump away from the void, of which its mere existence was a symbol of how alone she really was.
Her belly tightened with anxiety. With a gentle push off of the far wall, she swam back to the airlock. A chill crawled up her back as she slipped back into the hatch, and waited for oxygen to fill the cramped chamber. A small, circular window let her get one last look at the cave that had deceived her, before she reentered the lower deck.
She took off her helmet slowly, and sighed deeply. For a moment she simply stared blankly ahead, into the eyes of her transparent reflection. The suit’s heft weighed down on her. She’d longed for a hug since the day she let go of her friend’s and family’s arms. But now, after she’d so desperately searched for the non-existence being that taunted her with its unfriendly knocks, that sort of hope had been drained out of her body for the day, like a sickly fluid. It made her feel rigid and numb.
Reluctantly, and tensely, she shuffled out of the suit, not bothering to put it away properly. Instead she went back to the lockers and stuffed it inside. She became frustrated on her third attempt to stuff it in, and simply slammed the locker door shut when she’d had enough of the bulky thing fighting back. It was a hollow sound. She gravitated towards the book locker, and grabbed the first Daring Do novel she saw. She sighed, shakily through her mouth and with a flutter in her chest, and dragged herself back up to the control deck in defeat. Her old body was tired as she forced herself back into the worn seat, and began to read the book. She needed to keep her mind off of this. All of this.
The hours ticked by. She practically knew the book by heart. Every time she read it, any Daring Do book for that matter, she imagined her dear friend zipping through the jungle, leaping over rocks, defying death every time. It made her heart flutter, she longed for that kind of adventure again. Maybe when she got back, A.K. would be up for one more adventure, even if she was retired.
Rainbow Dash stood just outside the docking gate, her Luna-black jumpsuit was snug around her body. Her flanks were blank. On her chest, a star, most commonly seen on certain guard members Rainbow had seen. She gazed up wistfully at the rocketship, clutching her helmet tightly under her arm. This billion-bit project had taken years to design, fund, and build. It was the most expensive and ambitious endeavor Equestria had built since Canterlot was founded. She felt dread in its presence. In her books and comics she’d always watched ponies climb into space shuttles and gigantic mechs that tower over cities, but to stand mere feet away from such a machine…it made her heart sink.
“Are you sure you’re ready, dear?” Her mother’s voice said behind her. Rainbow turned to see her mother’s teary eyes. Her smile was crooked, her eyes looked like they would start pouring waterfalls. Even her father seemed to be holding back an ugly cry.
The rainbow-maned mare gave them an empathetic smile, set down her helmet, and rushed to hug both of them, wrapping her hooves tightly around both of them. She chuckled wryly into her fathers chest, “You guys know that I’ve been training for this for moons,”
“We know, we know,” He said as he used one of his massive purple wings to wrap up his daughter, “We’re just…so proud of you,” his voice wavered. Rainbow could hear— “And also worried.”
“And excited!” Her mom added, using her own wing to overlap her husband’s, “It’s just, you’ll be the first pony to ever explore space, and you’re all grown up, and…” she paused as she swallowed the lump in her throat, and tried to smile as she started to cry in earnest, “We’re just..so happy for you!!” The older mare cried in…anguish, and suddenly pulled Rainbow into herself. Even though her daughter was taller than her, she somehow managed to encompass Rainbow with both arms and wings as she sobbed into her chest.
Rainbow Dash had the initial urge to push away, though she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She let her mother get it all out, and she hugged back as tightly as she could, “You guuuyys, you’re gonna make me cry in front of everypony.” She tried to hide the crack in her own voice as tears welled up in her eyes.
“Sorry! Sorry—“ The stallion started as he wiped his eyes, though Rainbow Dash brought him in again, and he wrapped both mares in his wingspan. They mumbled to each other quietly, relishing in each other's company for the last time.
As Rainbow finally, gently pulled away, she heard a voice from behind her dad, “Save some for us!” Scootaloo called out. The blue pegasus’s parents stepped aside, revealing her five friends, plus little Scootaloo, who had also come to see her off. Rainbow Dash’s smile and tears grew as she dashed towards them, flapping her wings to give her an extra boost as she tackled the group of them into a pile of laughter and tears. Even Twilight, the unicorn who was usually so deep in her books, lit up her horn as she sobbed with her friends, and used her magic to embrace all of them at once.
“You guys, you all didn’t have to do this!” Rainbow Dash said through sniffles.
“Aww, sugarcube!” Applejack exclaimed as she squeezed her spouse closer, “Of course we would all be here! We couldn’t be happier for you.”
“I just canNOT believe how far you’ve come, darling,” Rarity continued, sniffling as she fanned herself, mascara running down her cheeks.
Rainbow used the bend of her wing to wipe her eyes, “I really couldn’t have done it without all of you.” She gazed at each one of them, taking in their faces. “I mean it, you all have done so much for me, and—” wait…their faces…
Each one, young yet gaunt and blurry, obscured. They were so young, even Scootaloo. Yet they were so…not themselves. Each one was different, each one had something wrong; blank expressions, elongated limbs, no noses or eyes. Suddenly, Rainbow felt something on the back of her neck. She turned around to look over her shoulder and saw…
“Pinkie Pie?” Rainbow Dash squeaked. Her friend was standing in mid air, just a foot away from the metal walkway.
“You Pinkie Promised.” Her voice was flat, but also accusatory.
“Pinkie I didn’t—” she tried and failed to explain.
“You Pinkie Promised” She said again, as if it was the same moment on loop. Nothing except her mouth moved. She was the same as the others; uncanny, frozen in some sort of distorted time.
“I didn’t break the promise!” Rainbow Dash spat back, standing up as the world melted around her like candle wax.
“You Pinkie Promised. You Pinkie Promised. You Pinkie Promised.” She repeated the phrase faster, and faster. It even seemed like her words were beginning to overlap one another.
Rainbow stepped away, though noticed she couldn’t feel the metal grate under her hooves anymore. She was standing on air, both of them. She looked down, and saw that the ground was much blurrier; a blend of green white and blue. The last sight of the ground she saw when she looked back from space. It had started to spin.
“Pinkie, stop it!!” She cried as she met her friend's eyes again, though her words could barely be heard over the sound of Pinkie’s voice growing louder, and louder. Her voice didn’t change tone, however, it was simply growing in volume, like a storm.
Rainbow curled up and covered her head with her arms and wings, squeezing her eyes shut. This was too much. This isn’t what it was supposed to be! This wasn’t how she remembered it!! This isn’t—
Rainbow Dash jolted awake with a small shout, breathing hard. Her body shuddered as she stared at the ceiling of her cubby. This had been the worst one yet. She covered her eyes with her hooves as she tried to comprehend her nightmare. Drops of sweat had condensed around her, and stained the walls of the cubby she slept in. Sweet Celestia, she missed Twilight being able to visit her in her dreams. Carefully, she undid the buckles that held her down in her sleep, and pushed away from the bed. She slid out of the cubby and paused for a second, giving her sore body a moment of relief as she floated. She squinted when the automatic lights flickered to life. The moment of peace didn’t last long as she dragged herself to the lockers where her journal was, though…wait a moment, I closed the locker yesterday… At least, I think I did. She thought to herself as the door hung slightly ajar.
She shook her head, opened the cubby, and grabbed the scuffed journal and dull pencil from the case, then carefully closed it. She scanned its cover nervously, but it didn’t seem any different from yesterday. Carefully, she opened it, and flipped through the remaining pages. 8 sides left after today's entry, she noted to herself. She fidgeted with the pencil until it fit in between her wing feathers like fingers, glanced at the clock on the wall, and she began to write.
Day 4461
The dreams continue to get worse and more frequent. I’m constantly on edge. I expect to hear that knocking again, all the time. Yesterday I spent hours sitting by the airlock and hoped to hear that sound… Now that I write it out it does sound a little crazy, but I don’t know what else to do.
I still have a few months left of food. Ugh, even writing that gives me a sick feeling. If I was a unicorn, I’d probably have made an “infinite food duplicator spell” by now or something. Maybe even a fuel duplicator.
If I was a unicorn though, my relationships probably would be different… would I even be able to perform a sonic rainboom? Maybe with magic I could.
She stared at her words, then shook her head and grunted.
Focus, Rainbow Dash.
Tomorrow, I’m shutting off the lights for good.
She snapped the book shut, and let it drift away from her instead of putting it back in the locker. She swam to the ladder and looked around the room before she climbed up; it feels smaller every day. Blinking, she hoisted herself up to the control deck, where she suddenly stopped in her tracks once her hooves left the bars. After a decade of looking at the same room every single day, you get used to the same amount of starlight that filtered through the window. However, today gave her pause.
The room was just slightly, ever so slightly, dimmer. It would probably go unnoticed by another pony, be brushed aside by someone who is just as perceptive, but had not spent nearly as much time as Rainbow had in this chamber. Carefully, the blue pegasus flapped her wings to propel herself just enough to float forwards. The floor was mere inches below her as she twisted her head to the side to look out into space.
Her heart turned into ice, then stone, and sank into her stomach. Her rosy eyes
widened as she gazed out into the void. The stars… Rainbow was accustomed to the swirling nebulous patterns the stars had created; painting her world never-ending in beautiful, gesturing sweeps. She would stare into the clouds of stardust, and attempt to trace new, ever-changing constellations from the billions of tiny lights that graced her eyes. That was one of the only things she didn’t regret about this failed mission; the ability to witness this beauty for herself. Even the stars on an Ursa Minor’s pelt were incomparable to the art she had been fated to stare at.
Looking out of the window this time provoked no such awe. It was as if she was gazing into the night sky from her home planet from the streets of Canterlot. Where once she could just barely fathom the concept of infinity just by looking at a single spot, it was now just…void. Darkness. The stars that remained twinkled and glittered like usual, providing what little light they could send to her.
How…How could this even be possible? She wanted to voice her fear, but instead a mere squeak exited her parted lips. Her thoughts began to race, scratching at the walls of her brain. There had to be a reasonable explanation! A logical explanation. Perhaps she was just in a spot where she couldn’t see them? Though this thought alone made her sink to the ground. Was she so far out that stars had started to become less frequent? Was she nearing the edge of the universe? What happens after she leaves its barrier? Would someone even be able to find her? Was this it? The sign she would die out here, alone? Her eyes welled up as she continued to stare, so desperately, more than ever before, wanting to be embraced by her lover. Visions of the orange mare flashed in her mind; memories of them sleeping in the same bed, hugging each other before they went to sleep, and staying up flirting as if they were fillies again.
Her heart felt cold as it beat hard inside her. She put a hoof to her chest, realizing its sudden soreness and tension coming from how hard and fast and quick she was breathing. She swallowed, despite her mouth being dry, and tried to get a grip on herself. And despite the tingling and weakness in her hooves, she recognized that she felt…disconnected now. As if she was watching her body, and she had no control over it. The last thing she could think to do was look away from the sight she knew was wrong, shut her eyes as she fell back against the wall, and panicked.
Rainbow Dash stood just outside the docking gate, her Luna-black jumpsuit was snug around her body. She gazed up at the large metal pillar, clutching her helmet tightly under her arm. The project had taken years to design, fund, and build. An expensive endeavor. She felt fear in its presence. In her books and comics she’d watched ponies do this, but to stand mere feet away from such a thing…it made her blood run cold. She wanted to get away from it.
“Are you ready, dear?” Her mother’s voice said behind her. Rainbow turned to see her blurry face. It was as if she was looking at her through a foggy window. The sweater she wore blurred into her fur. Did she even wear one of those? Even her father seemed to be grayed out and blurred.
The rainbow-maned mare gave them a forced smile and rushed to hug both of them, shaking as she wrapped her hooves tightly around both of them. She chuckled anxiously into her father’s chest, “You guys know that I’ve been training for this for moons,”
“We know, we know,” He said, his voice muffled and gravelly as he used one of his massive purple wings to wrap up his daughter, “We’re so proud of you,” his voice wavered in clarity, as if it was a tide coming in and out on a shoreline. Rainbow could hear— “And also worried.”
“And excited.” Her mom added, “You’ll be the first pony to ever explore space, and you’re all grown up, and…” she paused, “We’re just..so happy for you!!” The older mare cried in pain, and suddenly pulled Rainbow into herself, despite her daughter being taller than her.
Rainbow Dash had the initial urge to push away, though she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She needed to remember what they said. She let her mother get it all out, and she hugged back as tightly as she could, “You guuuyys, you’re gonna make me cry in front of everypony.” Her voice was dry.
“Sorry! Sorry—“ The stallion said, though Rainbow Dash brought him in again, and he wrapped both mares in his wingspan. They mumbled to each other quietly, fading into radio static.
As Rainbow pulled away, she heard a voice from behind her dad, “Save some of us!” Scootaloo called out. The blue pegasus’s parents slid aside, revealing her faceless friends who had also come to see her off. Rainbow Dash dashed towards them, flapping her wings to give her an extra boost as she tackled the group of them into a pile of voices. Even Twilight lit up her horn and used her magic to embrace all of them at once.
“You guys, you all didn’t have to do this!” Rainbow Dash said, feeling her heart tighten.
“Aww, sweetie!” The visage of Applejack exclaimed as she squeezed her spouse closer, “Of course we would all be here! We couldn’t be happier for you.”
“I just cannot believe how far you’ve come, darling,” Rarity continued, dark, heavy streams of black running down her cheeks.
Rainbow looked around, “I really couldn’t have done it without all of you.” She gazed at each one of them, as much as she could anyways. “I mean it, you all have done so much for me—”
It occurred to her what was wrong. They were just sitting, together, in darkness. Though they were still lit as if they were basking in sunlight. The fur on her back tingled as she counter her friends, and noticed there were only 3, where was…
“Pinkie Pie?” Rainbow Dash whispered, standing up and turning around. The embraces melted off of her like mist. She was alone. Completely this time. She took a step, it sounded like the metal grate was still under her hooves. “Pinkie Pie?” Rainbow called louder.
Silence answered her.
She ran forward, hollow metal clanking against keratin. She shouted louder, almost a scream, “Pinkie Pie where are you?!”
She stopped, looking at her surroundings in a frenzy before turning back around and—
“You Pinkie Promised.” Her friend whispered accusingly as she and the blue mare met face-to-face, muzzle to blurry muzzle.
Rainbow Dash awoke and flew upwards with a scream, followed by another as she hit her head against the ceiling of the room. She winced and rubbed the back of her skull as she drifted back down, drearily taking in her surroundings. She had fallen asleep in the control deck, on the floor it seemed. She groaned as she pulled herself towards one of the chairs and slipped into it, resting her head against the seat. Her eyes felt dry, perhaps she’d cried. She dragged the hood from behind her head and down to her gaunt cheeks, where she felt her dried fur sticking to her skin.
She sighed shakily and dropped her arm lazily, and looked out into space. It was the same. Not the same as before but the same as she’d fallen asleep. It hit her like acid rising from her stomach, the cold dread. Though she didn’t show it on her face this time. Too much was going on at once, too much had drained her of her energy for her to emote; her dreams, her doom, and now this. Acceptance left a bad taste in Rainbow’s mouth. She didn’t want it, though what else could she do with it?
She looked around her little room, completely darkened due to the lights on the panel no longer being on. The starlight, once ghostly, now made it that much harder to see, though something caught her attention despite that. She leaned to her right and squinted at the stickynotes plastered on the board of buttons and levers. Every note should have had some sort of, well, note on it; some doodle or mark and reminder, if Rainbow remembered correctly. Though now, some of the colorful pages were just blank. Her heart skipped a beat. Something was going on, first the stars and now the notes on the control panel.
She bolted from her seat, hovering above it for a few seconds as she tried to think, then headed down to the mid-deck. Was anything else out of place? She pushed herself to the floor and looked around in the darkened room. The fact the lights didn’t turn on didn’t bother her initially, she was too focused on other details. The lockers, her bed, the hatch; all of it was the same. Nothing was open, was anything missing? She scanned the tiny room with squinted eyes, until it hit her.
“Where’s the clock…?”
Blank notes were one thing, but an entire missing object? Who or what could even do that? She felt her body tighten with anxiety again, and she felt uneasy on her hooves. Rainbow took a deep breath, in and out, to steady herself, there was a reasonable explanation, there had to be.
She swam to her locker and threw the door open, snatching the journal and pencil from inside. Briskly, she flipped through all the pages, assuring herself that every one had some sort of documentation inside, and just as she was about to put the graphite to the first blank page she found, she stopped herself. She…didn’t remember putting it away…no, she was just being paranoid now. She always put the book back, she’d just forgotten. That was it. Still, the action of grabbing it out of the locker still felt wrong, and she sat on the thought as she wrote.
Day 4461 Continued.
Something is wrong. My clock is missing, and some of the notes on my dashboard are just blank, completely. Something is going on, something is screwing with me and I need to know what…
And the stars, mother of Luna the stars… I think I fainted just looking at them. There are noticeably fewer than yesterday. Like, they just disappeared, completely. Am I just going crazy? Is this it? Do I die with the universe crumbling around me?
Her wing shook as she wrote, and her hooves could barely keep steady as they held the book.
Maybe it’s less…cosmic. Maybe someone or something really is inside the ship and just messing with me. The knocking supports that. Then… What about the stars?
She paused again.
Maybe I’m just passing through an asteroid field? The knocking would be from small stones hitting the ship maybe. And the larger ones are blocking the stars.
That was the only explanation she could come up with. Anything else was a possibility she either couldn’t or didn’t want to imagine.
Whatever it is… I need to stay calm. When the going gets tough, the tough don’t notice because they have hard shells.
The saying had kept her going in her younger years, she might as well repeat the mantra now. As she closed the book, she had an idea; instead of setting both the book and pencil back in the locker, she decided to place the pencil in her bed. Perhaps this would prove something has been stealing or moving something. She then very deliberately put the journal in the locker and closed it, pressing the door inwards perhaps harder than she needed to, if only to ingrain it in her mind that she did so.
She then took a step back and examined every locker, trying to discern any differences or missing details. She didn’t want to admit she was paranoid now, but a voice whispering at the back of her mind told her that maybe, just maybe, she could find a pattern within the disappearances, and solve this terrifying mystery.
The blue pegasus maneuvered to her designated book locker, and decided to grab the several notebooks filled cover to cover with her novel. She needed to take her mind off of this, somehow, some way, and Daring Do, nor any other book she’d memorized would cut it today. So, with the books tucked under her wing, she floated weightlessly back up the ladder, and settled into her chair again. With one last glance, she looked out into space…
“Please don’t change,” she whispered to herself, a phrase she never thought she’d utter in her giant, flying cage.
Rainbow Dash stood in the void. Her body was ragged and shriveled, dirty and scrawny, exposed to stale air that smelt like years of unwashed bodies. She was standing straight, looking up at a metal pillar that stretched high into the sky. It groaned and wavered under its own weight. The thing was also impossibly wide. If Rainbow squinted, she could just barely see where it curved. Within it, she could hear a faint beeping noise that echoed distantly, and reverberated in its core, as if it was miles above or below her.
Behind her stood nothing, beside her stood nothing. She glanced down, seeing nothing, as if she was floating on air, yet she could feel a rusted metal grate beneath her hooves. She glanced behind herself. She could hear air, like wind in a cave. Her wings dragged on the ground, they felt weak as they clung to sides.
She looked back at the pillar; tall, metallic. Something appeared when she wasn’t looking; a dark, thin seam. Doors. Her ears, floppy from degrading cartilage, perked up slightly, and she walked a little closer. Each step required massive effort, and left each leg shaking when it hit the floor. Finally, though, one hoof landed on the thick panel. There was no handle. She scraped it along its white, stainless steel surface, leaving a mark as it slid open. She stood at the edge, and peered down. The word dark didn’t describe it. It couldn’t. The word void served it even less justice. It was a hole, a gap of nothingness in reality. Rainbow looked up, and saw the same, mirrored exactly. There was only one way to go. She took a wheezy breath. It was hard to get air in her lungs. She then spread her wings, the aching muscles shaking, and she let herself fall.
She heard rumbling as she fell, tumbling head over heel for the first perceivable moments, before her body stabilized into a head-first nosedive. It was like a sonic rainboom all over again. Her muscle memory kicked in, and her limbs, sans her wings, closed tightly together. She descended even further, tiny bits of shrapnel now flying passed her. At first, a few bits of metal, then a few more, then chunks of debris, then frequent, larger ones. She squinted, hoping none would get into her face, or hit her yellowed eyes, but none did. It was as if she was in the perfect position to not be hit by any object.
It was impossible to tell how long she fell, but even then, she started to hear something. It was quiet, like distant thunder. She continued to descend, terminal velocity. It became louder and louder. Soon, it became a deafening roar. She winced, the noise permeating her sensitive ears. The debris continued to launch at her from below. Then, she blinked, and an explosion of fire and smoke shot up from below her. She screamed, though it was nothing compared to the inferno that swallowed her up. She closed her eyes, anticipating the heat and pain.
Rainbow Dash awoke with a shrill cry. Sweat floated around her. Her eyes stung. She looked around wildly, seeing the notebooks sprawled out in front of her. Her breath hitched, and she froze in place. The pages were completely blank once again. And not only that, she could barely see them. Her head snapped up to look outside, only to see…
“No…No it can’t—” the words came out as a raspy whimper, and her eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. It was black. Completely, and utterly, just like her dream. Her heart drummed in her ears as they drooped. She climbed out of her chair, though noticed how different it was very quickly, the surface was smooth; the same color, a similar shape yet, blocky-er. Her head spun to the control panel, again, the same color, a similar shape, yet devoid of detail. She stumbled back, and scrambled down the ladder, it was no different. She fell down into middeck, and froze when she saw it too had been altered. Everything could be described as simpler. Her bed, the lockers, even the walls, floor, and lights had been reduced to rigid shapes.
Rainbow Dash was at her limit, she prayed her space suit hadn’t been given the same treatment. She flung the locker door open, which was now a simple, smooth rectangular panel, thin as paper. A brief moment of relief overwhelmed her when she saw her suit and helmet. She rushed to put them on, only focused on leaving this place. She could count every time she’d even been outside the shuttle, but this was a situation that warranted her to do it again. The minutes seemed to tick by as Rainbow struggled to put it on, and she attempted to ignore how much harder it was to breathe inside the helmet.
The airlock was the same as everything else, and even the window seemed to warp what was outside. She didn’t care, she needed out, out of her cage, out of whatever nightmare this was becoming. She squeezed through, and made a beeline for the door that led to the outside. She glanced into the metal barrel, stale, unused, and unchanging for years, yet it too now was smooth, rigid, no more pores of wires or pipes, only panels that extended into darkness. Rainbow quickly returned to her original agenda, unlocked the door and swam outside, and quickly closed it behind herself.
It didn’t help…sitting on the side of a ship that wasn’t even moving…it simply floated in place. Her breath fogged up the bubble around her head. Everything felt stiff and cold. She looked to her sides; smooth, white metal. What was she going to do? What did any of this even mean?
Suddenly, a glimmer caught her eye. A single star in the distance.
Once again, her rosy orbs widened, focusing on the small beam of hope. Another appeared next to it, then another, and another. Slowly, they began to appear, sporadically at first, yet forming some sort of shape. Rainbow Dash’s hope faded as soon as it appeared, and her jaw dropped.
The last star finally appeared, bright and blue. Two, bright, glowing yellow stars appeared below it, and they stared down at her. Rainbow felt frozen under the Ursa Major’s gaze. It was incomprehensibly large. Towering over her, taller than Equestria’s tallest mountain. Its teeth glittered like its body. Some of the stars even seemed to fade at a certain distance away, as if even the universe itself could not handle the sheer size of the beast.
She thought she heard church bells. No…not church bells, slow, methodical beeping. Like the kind she heard in her dream. It might as well be the bells of Death, she thought. As she stared up at the creature, memories flashed in her mind, her life. She would have wanted it to end differently. Much differently. She regretted the past 12 years of her life, and maybe even the time she spent signing up and training for it. The anger she had towards her decision quickly began to bubble up inside her. She slowly let go of the ship, took a deep breath, and screamed.
“Do it!! Do it!!! Kill me!!” Tears welled up in her eyes, “If I’m going to die then it might as well be an Ursa Major!! Fucking do it!!” They streamed down her face, “I never should have taken that stupid program!! I never should have left!!! You would be my savior!!! You hear me?!! You are my fucking SAVIOR!!!” She cried out.
She heard the thing rumble, and its muzzle slowly wrinkled into a snarl. It slowly opened its jaws and let out a deafening, thunderous sound. Not unlike the one she heard in her dream, she thought. As it roared, it descended onto her. Rainbow Dash winced her eyes shut, and accepted it. She accepted the jaws of defeat.
A seam of light stretched out across a dark horizon. It took Rainbow a few moments to realize it was her own eyes trying to open. She squinted, taking great pains to open her lids. Her vision swam. Was this the light ponies saw when they died? Her brain felt heavy and sluggish. It became apparent something was on her face. She reached a hoof up, and even in her blurry vision she could see how thin it was, as thin as it had been in her dream. It touched the mask around her muzzle, and her ears began to pick up the faint hiss of oxygen. She noticed the thick curtain of greasy, rainbow mane that hung from her head, nearly as long as Flutterfly’s. A cardiac monitor beeped quietly next to her, and slowly picked up the pace as she became more aware.
Fluorescent lights lit up the white room. A window with curtains was slightly ajar, the rays of dawn filtering through as well. Rainbow looked down and noticed the hospital gown and white sheet that covered her body. One arm was fitted with an IV drip. Her yellowed eyes rolled around, and landed on two figures; Applejack and Pinkie Pie, who both slept in chairs beside her bed.
Her heart filled up with joy, and her eyes welled with tears as she raspilly mumbled, “Applejack?”
Immediately, the old orange mare flinched awake. Her emerald eyes glanced over at Rainbow Dash, and she quickly began to cry, “Oh my stars… Rainbow, honey?”
Rainbow Dash nodded, relishing in the detail of her spouse's face. She could see each freckle, the streaks of color in her irises. She tried to outstretch an arm, but even that was tasking and borderline painful. Applejack tenderly hugged her, sniffling, and the two mares buried their muzzles in each other's shoulders.
The commotion woke Pinkie Pie, who gasped loudly. Her mane, formerly covered in decorations and candy, was blank, and for a moment it seemed deflated. Rainbow looked over Applejack just in time to see all of the pink pony burst to life. She practically launched herself off the chair and over the bed in order to hug her friend.
“Oh my god, you’re awake!! You’re finally awake!” She cried, almost immediately sobbing. Rainbow Dash let the two of them squeeze her as tightly as they could, this was all she needed.
The rest of her friends soon arrived at the hospital, including Princess Twilight. Just like in her dozens of dreams, she wrapped everyone there up in a massive hug with her wings and magic, it was joyous, the happiest Rainbow had been since forever ago.
“How did you guys find me?” She rasped, now sitting up with a few pillows behind her back, however as everyone dispersed to sit or stand around her, they gave each other unsure looks. Rainbow noticed they also looked a lot younger than she initially thought they’d be when she returned home.
“Darling,” Rarity began, “Whatever do you mean?”
Fluttershy spoke up, “You were… in an accident.”
Rainbow looked to Twilight, who took a deep breath, “The project… failed on launch. Before you breached the atmosphere, the ship exploded, and we thought you’d gone with it.”
Applejack quickly spoke, “But you survived! Thanks to some safety measures.”
Rainbow’s eyes slowly widened, “No— but— that can’t be right—!”
Pinkie perked up, “What do you mean? We were all there.”
“No— I mean— I was in space! I made it! A-and then the ship lost connection and power, and so I couldn't come home and was launched into space for… t-twelve years.” Her raspy voice weakened.
Everyone looked at each other with worry, Applejack put her hoof on Rainbow Dash’s, “Sugarcube, it’s only been about three months.”
The blue mare’s ears fell, and her eyes widened more, “No that— that couldn’t have been a dream! I was there! For all of it! I wrote a whole novel, I-I memorized all the books I had on board! I used up all the paper I had! I lived every day of it—!” Her head began to spin.
Everyone huddled around her, trying to calm her down, with Twilight speaking up, “You were in a coma for three months, Dash. It wasn’t a dream…” she spoke gently.
Rainbow put her hooves to her ears, “I-I-I need everyone to go. I-I just need a minute.” Her friends paused at the words, though Fluttershy was the first to nod and lead ponies out.
Applejack stopped at the door and muttered, “If you need anythin’ hon, we’ll be near,” and she wandered out.
Rainbow couldn’t wrap her head around it. All those years, in that cage, out in space, was all in her head? That time, it was all wasted. Why did it have to be a dream?! Was there no other purpose? Was it some sort of cruel prank or punishment? She squeezed her eyes shut, and the corners of her eyes dotted with tears once more. She couldn’t accept it, she just couldn’t.
Her breathing was harsh, it hurt to take in any breath that was too large, and her eyes squinted open again. Her ears rang with the beeping of the machines around her.
Rainbow’s parents stopped by at lunch. Doctors helped her eat. It all felt great, yet wrong, and surreal. The mixed feelings she had, and her outburst, made its way to a therapist who visited her that evening. The pegasus didn’t want therapy, but even Applejack urged her to try it. The day went by fast, a blur of whirlwind thoughts and ponies wandering in and out.
Finally the day ended, and Applejack once again slept in the chair by her side. A small table at the side of her bed held a bouquet of flowers and several cards ponies had written before she’d awoken. Every one sat open faced towards her. Rainbow supposed she was going to have to get used to this. She tried to get comfortable and closed her eyes, though a part of her was scared she would wake up back on the ship…it would be day 4463 tomorrow, she thought to herself.
Rainbow didn’t dream of anything when she did manage to slip into sleep. She found it peaceful, the most peace she’d gotten in some time. She awoke to the sun once again, maybe…it wouldn’t need that much getting used to, if she could wake up to that every morning. She turned her head to focus on Applejack, who was gone, though her hat was there. Perhaps she’d gone to get breakfast. She positioned her head to the cards, wanting to read them again, at least wanting to be comforted by their words.
Her heart sank, a cold, heavy object once more, and her blood froze into ice.
The cards were blank, and smooth.
