Pirate Bebop

Ch.104

“*Meow!*” Schrodinger cried at the snake.

“Ranni, you’re half dead and why is there a cat? I can’t make use of either of you.” Rycarde told his undead sister.

“You underestimate my champion's power.” Ranni said to Rycarde before the cat opened its mouth and suddenly a stream of unknown magic fired from its tiny maw and slammed into Rycarde with the force of a thousand suns!

“What?! Ah~!” Rycarde’s screams faded when his body rapidly disintegrated in the beam.

“I was not expecting that.” Ranni blinked before looking at the cat she held.

“*Mew!*” The tabby purred as he absorbed the serpent lord’s Great Rune.

🎺

“Lord Rycarde is dead! Everyone run!” Yelled a servant of the Volcano Manor.

“Our lord is dead? Where’s Mother?” Raya asked in confusion before following the other servants out of the Manor. “I should find a new Lord!” She exclaimed in excitement, not fully comprehending what was going on.

🎺

“That was a good night.” Penta sighed from beside her husband as the others talked to a merchant on the shore of Liurnia lake for directions.

“Yes, it was.” Bryan said with a smile before he smacked the back of Penta’s head.

“Ow, what was that for?!” Penta huffed as she rubbed her gooey skull.

“For thinking with your cunt. I get it: it’s fun and all, but you can’t use sex to solve everything just because you also find it funny. Also, be glad Jane isn’t breathing down your neck, you did change someone’s gender against their will.” Bryan pointed out.

“She was already female, she was just using magic to hide it. That potion shut off her magic, I didn’t know her sword was Death.” Penta grumbled in frustration.

“That’s what happens when you assume things.” Bryan really hated people who don't use common sense. Something he remembered his father teaching him when he was a boy.

“Okay, you have a point. I concede.” Penta said, holding her hands up in surrender.

“This way, slowpokes!” Kiro yelled at the two from up the road.

“We’re coming!” The two answered before they trudged up the flooded road and killed weird undead creatures absentmindedly. Nothing here was a real threat, just annoying.

“Hello, will someone be my Manor's new lord?” A hunched over young woman called from a gazebo up the road. She had blond hair, wore a green dress and looked around with brilliant yellow eyes until she noticed them. “Oh, will one of you take the place of my late lord?”

“Who are you and what happened?” Kevin questioned the girl.

“I don’t know, someone said my lord had died and the servants all fled. I want to bring a new powerful Lord to replace him so the Volcano Manor may thrive! Oh, I’m Raya by the way.” Raya told them as she shyly hid her face behind her blonde hair.

“Do you know how the previous lord died, Raya?” Bryan asked with a raised brow.

“No.” Raya said, looking at the ground in a strange way.

“I know your type, you ran off the moment you heard about it and didn't even get clarification.” Jane stated chipperly, the slime wolfess was well-fucked and happy from yesterday.

“Well, Mother was not around and I never met the Lord, so I did not know where to find his chamber.” Raya admitted sheepishly. “There were also far more servants than I remember ever seeing as they fled the manor.”

“Were they snake people too?" Jane asked casually.

“I think so.” Raya said with a blush. “Wait, how did you know?! I thought I was unique!”

“She’s so Innocent!” Kally cooed.

"Can I Potion her?" Penta asked excitedly.

“Why?” Bryan asked in annoyance.

“She needs a confidence boost!” Penta exclaimed.

“How old is she?” Kevin asked.

“I’m right here. What potion? Like a perfumer's concoction?” The cute shy girl questioned.

“Maybe, this is the potion.” Penta said holding it up just as Bryan smacked her in the head making the fox drop it at the girl's feet, causing it to explode in a pink cloud. Once it faded, a red sexy snake woman with Imperial proportions was before them blinking in Confusion. “I wasn’t going to throw it. This one’s on you!”

“Then stop pulling them out.” Bryan growled.

“I have...breasts now? Why are they so big? Can I still extend my torso?" The red busty snek then somehow extended her torso seamlessly and then yelped when her limbs absorbed into her elongated body and she coiled up with her bust resting atop her coils as a boob-snake.

“Did we really need to do that?” Kally asked with concern.

“She was just telling us about the Manor on her own.” Kevin commented.

"Thank you! I feel fantastic! Please let me return the favor. Be known that my name is Zorayas, I am the daughter of the lady of Volcano Manor. Please, take my, um, coils, so that I may take thee to the mansion.” Zorayas presented her bountiful chest to the group.

“Sure.” Jane said before groping Zorayas’ bosom and the others touched her long noodle body.

They were suddenly warped to a mansion that was encased in a red glow and the sounds of bubbling lava. Jane’s memories told Bryan that she had spent months hiding out on lava worlds enough times tell by the sounds and smells. Sulfur is basically solid farts, by the way.

“Zorayas? Where did you go? Who are these people?” A haggard woman who sounded like she had been crying for a few hours asked and they turned to look at her fully-covered form.

🎺

Eris sighed in content, a warm smile graced her lips with her hands running along her pregnant-looking belly. Being Bryan’s temporary Inventory Pet was exhilarating, something she would definitely take great joy in milking, both literally and figuratively.

Speaking of which. “Time to give you a wash!” Clicking her fingers, Eris summoned a sponge, two buckets: one full of warm soapy water and the other full of clear water, and a towel. With all the essentials in hand, she moved toward her target of cleaning: the massive sheath and churning spunk bunkers.

Donning an apron, she got to work on cleaning the breeding tool. While she washed away the grime and filth, Eris remembered how she would tie herself to these cum orbs upside down with her quim grinding up against the underside of the sheath with her head wedged between the sperm factories. The chaos noodle’s cheeks blushed when her imagination took form while she continued to clean. “Goodness~.”

Within her mind’s eye, she can see it: shorties living out their lives like she was right now as Inventory Pets. Kind of like a personal little Housekeeper, taking care of their partner’s sexual needs as much as indulging in their own. Lewder still: being pregnant, chained to their lover’s balls, shown off on a nudist beach for all to admire and praise.

Bryan groaned as his cock started to become erect. Eris worked a little faster as her step-daddy’s member showed itself. “Daddy’s getting all excited from me just cleaning him~.” She purred in delight as the glorious, godly prick stood tall and throbbed proudly. “Hm, finish cleaning, then have fun.” Eris told herself.

🎺

Zorayas hummed as she petted Schrodinger who purred in her hands as the group walked with Tanith down into the mountain. The masked woman had almost attacked the group before Zorayas vouched for them. The Crucible Knight she had almost ordered to his death was still itching for a fight, something Bryan could appreciate from a seasoned veteran.

“You okay, Bryan?” Jane asked when she noticed his strange gait as he lagged behind.

“Eris.” Bryan chuckled with a suppressed grunt of pleasure, feeling his Inventory Pet doing wonderous things to him. Perhaps he’ll reward her later on~.

“So, what is our goal here?” Raya asked.

“Does anyone else hear that whistling?” Jane questioned before the eerie echo of someone whistling ceased.

“Oh no, death has returned to the Lands Between! But how?! The Rune of Death had been stolen before the Shattering!” Maliketh whined within Jane’s shadow before she yelped. “My blade! Two adorable little wolf puppies just stole it! I…don’t feel attached to it now?”

“Well, fuck, how are we gonna kill whatever is lording over Treasure Planet?” I asked, since from what Maliketh has told us, Destined Death, the Great Rune embodied in her sword, was this place’s Concept of Death condensed and restricted, because nothing truly died here.

The sky turned a burning red outside. What the hell is happening now?

🎺

“*Nya~!*” Schrodinger finished firing a beam of plasma up into the boughs of the Erdtree and Ranni petted it while Melina gawked at the animal that Ranni had urged her to hold for a moment the instant they had entered the throne yard at the base of the Erdtree.

“Ranni! What are you doing, you traitorous wench?!” Morgott roared at the snow witch as he marched down the stairs from the tree. Ranni just shrugged as she looked to either side at Melina, who she had approached for the means of burning the Erdtree and Melania, who she sought out after the Cat slew Mohg and she told her what became of Miquella.

“Bringing an end to this farce and freeing us all from the Golden Order and the entity from beyond the stars. You can join your brother Mohg in death or relinquish your Great Rune so that the Elden Ring can be made, at the least, mostly whole once again.” Ranni declared and Morgott snarled as his grip on his staff clenched and it shattered to reveal the black, curved, wickedly beautiful iridescent blade beneath.

“Like I would side with traitors such as thee!” Morgott snarled and rushed at Ranni.

“Very well. Ladies, do we put him in his place or let my champion do it?” Ranni petted Schrodinger again.

“Why am I even here anymore?” A Tarnished woman with a massive sword made of swords and wearing a full suit of worn knight armor asked with a shrug that really shouldn’t be possible with the sword bigger than a person in her hand as she casually waved it around like a stick.

“Because we still need you as consort for Ranni.” Melania said with scowl. “We still must follow Traditions in some measure and you gave her that ring before you turned yourself into a woman.” Melania groused in annoyance.

“Well, sorry if I didn’t realize giving a Larval Tear to Ranni’s mum would get me turned into a clone of Ranni from before she epically ended her first body with the Rune of Death.” The Tarnished huffed indignantly as she pointed in the general direction of Raya Lucaria.

“Cease ignoring me!” Morgott roared as he fought against a summon of Ranni. Only for the cat to suddenly become a giant cat head. “No-!” *Nom! Mew~!*

“Aw~, so cute~!” The ladies all chorused before the giant tabby cat head shrunk back down into a normal-seeming cat, who pranced up to Ranni for scratchies and to be held.

“But really, why was I even needed? And what is that cat?” The Tarnished asked before Melina smacked her upside the head. “Ow.”

“Let's just find mother and overturn this false order.” Melina groaned, wondering why she picked a wanderlusting idiot as her champion. Fourteen days just running around, delving into ruins. She became so strong in a very short time and could’ve handled all of this, but to be utterly fair, she was just going to end up as Elden Lord Consort because of convenience and power. Also, she was very handsome and then beautiful after her change on top of everything else.

🎺

“So, it is true. My Lord Rykard is truly gone. Our rebellion against the gods has ended. Or, perhaps not.” Tanith mused as she turned towards the large group that had followed her into the depths of Volcano Manor. “You are all so powerful and you seek the means of control over this world? Then you must seek the base of the Erdtree, force entry and end the Golden Order.”

“Anyone else getting UnSC fucking Corpo off this cunt?” Jane asked, looking back at the others.

“Jane, everything in this world is fucked up because they all believe that what they’re doing is the right path.” Bryan retorted in a snort and her ears fell flat.

“I-what do you speak of?” Tanith questioned in utter confusion.

“Mom, they could be our new lords!” Zorayas declared, still fixated on finding a new Lord.

“I’m taking your cinnamon roll of a Daughter, because I don’t really think this creepy manor is the best place for such a dear. Plus, this place screams of blood and betrayal and I’m a Pirate. I have a sense for this.” Jane said before picking Raya up and turning to leave the Manor.

“Take care of her!” Tanith called after them before the group suddenly found themselves standing in a dark place surrounded by walls of solid wood with a woman’s shattered corpse being vacuumed into Schrodinger’s mouth?! A quick check revealed the Schrodinger in Raya’s arms was gone.

“I am your god now! Bring me your virgins!” Schrodinger bellowed playfully.

“Schrodinger.” Bryan pulled out his lightsaber and the cat approached. “Don’t fuck around and wake up Harmonia.” He demanded as the adorable tabby cat rubbed against his calves with purring as his usual Germanic officer uniform appeared on his torso.

“Why is my cat talking?!” Kiro demanded before the Tanuki woman picked the cat up.

“Because I am Schrodinger, mum. I am everywhere, yet nowhere. I think, therefore I am. Wherever, whenever I wish. You see me here and now at the moment of my ascension to being a godlike entity of nonlinear existence that is both alive and dead at once.” Schrodinger nuzzled his adopted mother’s stunned face.

“My kitty is an immortal god?” Kiro asked in shock and awe.

“Yes and no. I’m more a Rule, much like Life, Death, Light and Dark. I’m the Waveform Ring of Reality. I exist, yet I don’t. If you don’t go into semantics, it is that simple.” Schrodinger was then on Ranni’s shoulder. “Ranni Dear, this world is itself a machine, a device, a tool. I am now the protocol that controls it. What you wished for is possible, but this realm has a grander purpose.”

“Are Ranni and I still getting it on?” The random Tarnish in the back asked.

“Only if you both consent.” Schrodinger replied before he jumped down to the ground and the surroundings rapidly changed from a burning giant tree’s innards to what looked eerily like the galactic map portal mechanism from Treasure Planet! “This place acts as a network gateway across Triangulum. From here, noplace is beyond reach. Not even right over Aiur II.”

“Directly above the UnSC’s heads. Sweet! Now we just gotta-!” Jane was interrupted by the earth shifting violently and everyone staggered, some fell.

“Sorry! The planet’s tectonic systems have been frozen for thousands of years! Bear with it!” Schrodinger shouted over the sounds of everywhere crumbling and violently shifting!

“Won’t this kill everyone?!” Vinnie shouted fretfully, which as a Goddess of Death, meant much.

“Pretty much! However, none of those alive are actually alive! They’re a simulation! That said, Ranni Dear! Sorry!” Ranni, along with all the natives, including Zorayas, went limp like dolls with their strings cut. “They have been recalled to the data hub! Once Treasure Planet has resettled, I can get started on restoring select entities and even helping arrange souls for them!”

“Why am I still awake then?” Maliketh asked from Jane’s shadow.

“Because your code, Death, was removed from the system! It’s resetting and another Maliketh will be in the system instead!” Schrodinger answered before the upheaval ended. “There. Thousands of years of tectonic drift, settled in less than ten minutes. World-ending, but, as a simulation, Treasure Planet has the convenience of a reset.”

“What the absolute fuck just happened?!” EDI shrieked over comms as the red hull of the Blade flew across the strait, which had formed from Limgrave and Caelid separating from Liurnia.

“Damn it! The dockyard at Nova just finished the detailing!” Kiro whined and Kally patted her back. “Ugh, whatever, at least she’s still flying. So, what next everyone? This place is a…” Kiro looked north, towards the utter ruin of what was once Leyndell. “Mess.”

“We’ll have Sweepers comb over the planet, clean it up, set up shop here and start coordinating with Tarkus.” Edward announced and made the call once the signal was clear. A clear signal through the Warp. This place was game changing and better off in Argentine hands.

“Excellent! Now, mummy~! I want belly rubs~!” Schrodinger meowed and Kiro obeyed instantly.