Pirate Bebop

Ch.51

I stood, panting, satisfied yet unsettled after the fog over my senses lifted. I looked down at myself, wondering when I got so gigantic, so glorious...so solid. I poked the silvery fur of my breasts before giving them a grope with four of my six hands while the last two went to my hips. “W-well...whatever the fuck happened, dayum...now, how do I get ya six out of me? Am I like a Megazord or something and have to be split up into six smaller Zords? Am I Ultron?”

Also, where in Satan’s blazing asshole am I? What’s with that euphemism? I don’t recognize wherever I’ve ended up, just that there’s bare earth around me and piles of dead giant centipede monsters. I feel vindicated and fulfilled from their righteous slaughter. Also, they taste like Slim Jims. Not the crappy ones either, the to-go travel ones. Did I even like Slim Jims before? Half of me is confused, the other half is maybe.

Also, I knew Tarkus had an oil ocean, but looking at those liquid black waves is really eerie. Where could all that oil have come-? “Uh, Jane? Hello?” I heard Visilia’s voice echoing within my mind.

“Oh thank gosh, please get out of me. I don’t know what happened. Ya were all asleep, the thingy got all glowy and suddenly I needed to Rip and Tear-holy fuck what is that?!” I squeaked fearfully and panted as I wrapped my twelve wings around me and hugged my six arms around myself too. “I-I feel so angry and I just wanna Destroy-fuck~...”

“Shit, that’s me, sorry.” Holy fuck, Brennie! You’ve withheld this much anger inside you?!

“Hey, that’s not just you! You don’t get to have all of the anti-Hell angst!”Vinnie huffed and I sniffed the air before I picked up a thoroughly cooked centipede monster. I have heat powers too I guess. “Ew, don’t-!” *Crunch!* “Ew~!” Mm! Tastes like beef jerky when cooked!

“Oh, woman-up, Vinnie. Bugs can taste great. They’re the turf version of shellfish.” Brennie chuckled as I sat down and watched the oil ocean while I ate. They can figure this out while I relax and try not to get triggered by something.

“You only say that because your best girlfriend is married to a reincarnated Dunmer.” Vinnie protested before I heard a couple of throats clearing...wherever their telepathy is coming from.

“That’s enough. Now, let me-ACK!” Wow, what was that?! It felt like a tsunami of voices hit me, hit us! “Well, good news is: it worked. Those who have been chosen are blessed and we can hear or in this case, feel everyone’s prayers to us.”

“Well, that’s great and all, but why am I yer medium fer this?” I grumbled and pouted with my left cheek on a fist, using another arm to rest on the bottom arm so I could brood comfortably.

“Did Eris predict this? Did she choose her for more than what we initially thought?” Edward questioned with furrowed brows, contemplating on that noodle time lord’s game. I also wondered why I knew he was furrowing his brows when I couldn't see them.

“Either way, while I enjoy resting within Jane’s Inner Sanctum, we should figure out how to get out.” Rico suggested and all but one verbally agreed. “What’s wrong, Kevin?”

“Jane, how are things looking out there? We can’t see what you see.” Kevin’s inquiry made me realize that, while I can hear and see them, sort-of, they can’t see what I’m seeing, yet hear me.

“Well, I’m sitting on the edge of a crater I must’ve made, looking at a black oil ocean surrounded by the corpses of giant centipede monsters. Novahome is nowhere in sight and I have no clue where we are. The nearest collection of sapients is a long way away from here.” I pointed off to the horizon over the ocean for self-reference. “I don’t know about ya lads and lasses, but I don’t feel comfortable bringing all of me anywhere near habitation.”

“You’re supposed to get rid of the dangers to this planet and make it habitable. We’re your extra reactors to empower you more in order to do it.” Kevin responded and while I don’t like the idea of using them in such a manner, it made sense.

“Well, I don’t feel like there’s any danger. I think I snapped out of my righteous slaughter-shit, whew. Breathe…” I covered my face in my hands and tried to calm down. “I think they’re all dead. I just committed a genocide on a violent alpha-predator megafauna species. Yeah, they’re all dead. Death was necessary to protect Life. Damn it, please just get out of me.” I have it weird enough without worshipers or all these crossing wires~!

“That’s just it, we can’t. Your job isn’t over, you need to use our Aspects to breathe Life back into the planet and make it livable again.” Visilia declared, I guess because she’s Fertility and Life.

“Why~?! What do all of yer crazy Aspects want me to do after I’ve committed a planetary genocide~?” I whined and flopped back on my floating bed of wings. How am I doing this?

“Cleansing. You were wiping the slate clean in order to proceed on to the next phase.” Kevin showed me all of their Aspects and there were a lot of them! He had Nature, Balance, Fate and Luck. Nature and Balance paired up well enough, along with Visi’s Fertility and Life. Oh no~!

“I-I have to get busy don’t I?” I asked meekly with four hands kneading my rippling abs. Having the children of someone I love and or trust? All the yes. Randomly surrogating my womb out? I’m disturbingly not disturbed by it when before, I know the answer would’ve been Hell No.

“Unfortunately...yes, dear. First, however, clean up the ocean, land and air.” Kevin instructed, but I let out a huff of annoyance.

“Ya say that like it’s easy. This is Tarkus. Nobody to this day knows if the oil oceans were water before or if it was always naturally ferrous and loaded with natural petroleum. I mean, I’m sure just by looking at it, this is natural...but what if it caught fire? How hasn’t it caught fire?” I was now fretting! How is this possible?! This kind of ocean with this kind of land coverage, it should’ve sparked and burned the atmosphere long ago! “B-besides, I’m sure that’s what the Sweepers are for!”

“It will take years. Years! For the Sweepers to clean it all up and make it viable for people to live on worldwide.” Brennie stressed how tedious it really was for these Sweepers to do their job.

“Didn’t those things process whole planets in hours?” I asked in confusion. Was that just another bit of misinformation lost to oral tradition?

“After they were blown up, yes. Do you want to explode?” Rico asked me and I wanted to snort at the meme he unintentionally referenced.

“I mean, as a slime, exploding is orgasmic, so~...” I got a collective groan from my passengers and snickered as I ran my fingers through my actual hair. I have Brennie’s bushy fluffy hair~!

There was a ripple in the ocean before a draconic head made of metal started to rise up, oil pouring out of it as it looked around. It spotted me as it kept rising from the oil, looking more and more as if it was grown from metal plants rather than formed by being born an animal despite its initial form implying that.

“What the fuck is that?!” I yelped as it started to tower over me. Then, the impulse throbbed in me. “Gnyuh...grr~! R...Rip AnD tEaR!”

🎺

“I get the feeling she’s fighting something that would’ve been really fun. Or annoying.” Brennie pouted broodily with Vinnie and Visilia rubbing her back. “At least she doesn’t have to start mass-breeding babies just yet, if our instincts and past experience mean anything.”

“Considering she seems drawn to society-stopping megafauna right now, I guess so. Hopefully she doesn’t light the oil ocean on fire.” Edward commented uneasily while he along with the others took to moving around now that they were certain they weren’t about to harm Jane.

“There has to be a reason why it didn’t already.” Kevin reasoned with consideration. “Maybe there’s flame-retardant properties to Tarkus’s native oil? That would explain why it wasn’t pumped dry by the megacorps if it’s nearly inflammable and only good for lubricant.”

“It would’ve saved them a lot of maintenance costs. Keeping the gears going for a good while longer before they had to be replaced.” Rico noted with interest in a fireproof lube.

“Yeah, but with the giant monsters this planet obviously has, maybe the risks weren’t worth it.” Vinnie shrugged before she stood up and closed her eyes in concentration. Moments later, a screen with Jane’s sight and speakers with her hearing floated in the aether and they witnessed Jane wrestling a giant sea serpent capable of swallowing a gunboat whole. “Holy shit.”

“Well, at least we get some entertainment.” Brennie commented as she leaned against her demoness alicorn wife, enjoying the fight.

“The violence or the fact she’s coated in slick black oil and making her extra-shiny as she wrestles a giant noodle?” Visilia asked her wife with a naughty smirk.

Brennie and Vinnie shared a lewd and mischievous look. “Both. Both is good.” The dracowolf and bunny-wolf answered with snorts of amusement as Jane ripped it’s fucking jaw off moments before another one emerged from the literal black sea.

🎺

Jim was rather fed-up with the situation. He expected rapid response and escalation to conflict upon entering the Char system and confronting the Corpus for their invasion of UnSC territory. Oh, oh how wrong he was.

Politics, bureaucracy and corpocracy at it’s finest. Even when war is the subject at hand, the megacorps just love to drag their feet. If it isn’t instantly profitable, they won’t do anything in a timely manner. The reason purges of ‘uprisings’ like Zerus are so swift is because a populace that doesn’t live in fear of their rich overlords is a populace willing to actually revolt.

“If it would actually get anything done, I’d almost suggest you just slip into the offices of the Corpus higher-ups and assassinate them, but they use clone droids to broadcast their brains into. Killing a Corpus is like trying to stomp out an infestation without poison.” Jim grumbled as Ashley rubbed his shoulders. They weren’t intimate, but they were both skilled fighters and had even begun working out together. It was nice having a secret gym partner.

Especially since she could kick his ass and help him improve. He’d already surpassed Commander Arrow, but he knew he was cheating via divinity. “Sounds like total bullshit. Back in the day, you were either immortal or not, not all this pseudo-immortal garbage fueled by money. They literally just pay credits whenever they bite it.” Ashley huffed with a shake of her head.

“When it comes to the Corpus, the only reliable way to negate them is to take out their weapons. The Teiwaz Frame is the basis of their own mobile suits and is comparable in quality to the UnSC Rodi Frame. They tend to use the Shigen loadout and variants of it since unlike the Rodi, the Teiwaz can actually be a full-fledged general-purpose unit rather than a specialist.” Midna chimed in and Jim gave her headpats, which the shadow-gab crooned happily about.

“Thanks for the info. Now, if only we weren’t stuck twiddling our thumbs.” Jim sighed boredly.

🎺

“So, she’s been rampaging for a week now. How long does it usually take the Doom Marines to purge a megafauna infestation?” Jet questioned Marcus Themis, the acting representative of the Argentines with their highest leaders all somehow within his First Mate and King Rex -isn’t that redundant- had to return to Devorak to avoid the previous king needing to step in.

“Quite a while. It would take a couple of months to try and purge such infestations.” Helvex answered with a shrug.

“Well, she’s all of them concentrated into a giantess of epic proportions-shut up.” Jet growled at Eris, who had popped up from his waistband with a cheerful smile and finger raised before she pouted and slid back into his trousers. “Not to mention she’s been nearly warping with those wings of hers all over the planet and annihilating every megafauna nest around. There aren’t even any left on this half of the Stellar Tether.”

“Then we leave her be. In the meantime, let’s talk about what our plans are.” Marcus insisted and the others nodded in agreement.

“First, I’m building up a sizable force and figuring out how I can possibly control all of it without needing to be within a few miles. The Zerg of old could function autonomously, but they were mostly a semi-mindless swarm Hellbent on consuming all Life. So, I’m trying to see if I can’t make ‘relay’ units that would, if not just extend my range, allow data packets to convey orders to isolated far-flung units across the galaxy, considering psionics don’t take distance into account.” Luster brought up, thankfully wearing a shirt and shorts at Jet’s pleading for some modesty.

“How are you going to sustain all of them?” Spike questioned curiously and Luster puffed out her chest proudly, stretching the black ‘rock band!’ shirt with her bosom.

“They require almost no maintenance because I based them off of fungus and also made them photosynthetic. They can live off of a pittance of water and sunlight, but they’ll need more water in dry environments with low humidity. They’re also edible and taste like shitake mushrooms.” Luster boasted and besides Spike or other draconids, everyone looked grossed out.

“Hey, aren’t a lot of mushrooms like big brains? Why don’t you make one that turns into a mushroom like the ones that look like me, but does that?” Khorgan, the template for the Zorks, suggested and Luster practically draped over her new lover with a purr.

“Khor, you sexy-smart bitch, that’s a good idea. I’ll test it later. How about on the Argentine’s end, since you’ll be coordinating our naval efforts?” Luster questioned Marcus as if he didn’t verbally bite her head off a week ago.

“Yes, I’m glad that we have your experience to rely on. Nobody here would have half an idea of how to manage a navy.” Jet commented with a relieved sigh before chuckling at Atano’s glare. “Sorry Atano, but you’re married to the Infinity, which is more of a capture net with that exotic tractor beam system.” Said ship was now travel-worthy thanks to Lucatiel and the crews patching up the outer hull of the Space Hulk this past week.

“True. Besides, I’m nowhere near as experienced as the Argentines.” At Atano’s admission, everyone turned their attention to Marcus.

“Ahem. Well, firstly, we’re using Sweepers to clear out the decimated areas that Lady Silver has scared all of the natives away from. We’ve gotten raw materials in bulk to hasten repairs on the Infinity so she can be more than a catchmoon. We also have Sweepers devouring the asteroid belts in the system for the forgeships to start producing new ships with. However, we need a dump site for all the earthen slag we can’t use for production purposes.” Marcus looked over at Shekka and Hildra, who perked up at realizing they were being consulted.

“Uh, well, geography isn’t a strong point with us natives. It’s all junk planetwide, y’know? Maybe fill in the craters caused by Jane killing those giant monsters first.” Shekka suggested and Hildra nodded.

“Thank you, that’s a start. Jet, would you or any of the other Mobile Suit pilots be willing to train alongside our Titans? We need to devise a doctrine for the two to work together, otherwise we’ll be getting in each other’s way.” Marcus questioned but Jet shook his head.

“About that. I was going to first suggest that we avoid relying too much on Argentine tech. We’re unfamiliar with it, so any mobile suits that are your manufacture would probably be best used by your own hands. Which is why I’m considering if you might be able to reverse-engineer the Rodi frame for us local yokels, then you can get fancy with the armor system that goes over them if you want. That way we won’t need to retrain everyone on our end.” Jet suggested.

“Captain, I don’t think he meant having your own pilots use their Titans.” Atano commented.

“I know that, I’m being serious. Before we can even talk strategy training, we need a mobile suit fleet to train. I’m sure we can get plenty from the pirates here, but ultimately they need something they can adjust to easily, not whatever hyper-advanced systems the Argentines use.” Jet clarified and got nods from Spike and Faye, the only native MS pilots on the Bebop’s bridge.

“We can do that, so long as they don’t try to pinch from us.” Helvex noticed as soon as their fleet was made aware, the rasks and gabs have been salivating at the sight.

“We’ll make sure they don’t, because if they do...” Jet looked over at Khorgan, who gave a glasgow grin and ran her thumb over her throat.

“Great, that’s-huh?” Helvex stopped and turned his head to the side, his face contorting from confusion to horror when the news came in. “Uh...we have Force Users manifesting within our ranks...this is too ironically cruel for my liking.”

“How, exactly?” Atano asked in confusion.

“We’ve killed Jedi and Sith, both Force Users, but on opposite sides of the same coin. I should know, I was there.” Helvex answered with a sigh.

“Why did you go to war with them?” Jet questioned since he knew the Argentines don’t wage war for nothing. Both Urta/Penny and Berserker strongly upheld an ancient sage’s advice that ‘there is no greater waste of time or resources than war, use it sparingly and swiftly’.

“Because they, along with their allies, threatened my extended family living in that galaxy. Yet, they were the ones who came up with a treaty they all signed on and they had the gall to break it over some hypocritical reason. They forgave a power-hungry psychopath: who murdered his twin brother, killed billions of people, burned down a million worlds, worked alongside him, but they wanted to arrest one of my aunts who gave an apology to the entire galaxy?” Marcus growled angrily with a clenched fist before slamming it on the table. “I wasn’t there to take part in because it happened so fast.”

“This sounds like a worthy tale to hear.” Khorgan hummed before she cracked her neck. “Now then, leave discipline to me. I may have only one ship to my name, but I’ve got a mobile suit of my own and I’ve got a reputation of being a badass, I’ll keep the rats in line. Send the word out that the Silver Pirates are recruiting big-dick energy to fight the whole damn galaxy with the support of the Old Gods and we’ll have dumbasses lining up to join.”

“I’d offer to have my troops fill that in, but there’s only so much I can convey. Piloting complex war machines is definitely off the table for my Zerg drones.” Luster floated after Khorgan, basically letting the she-hulk carry her out by maintaining her hands on the thraggen’s shoulders.

“Well, I guess they’re off to handle that. As for reverse-engineering-.” The hologram sprang to life to reveal a multi-armed Rodi-style mobile suit.

“Everyone! Look at me! This is my Alt! I can fix so much better this way! Someone else can have my Worker Rodi, kay? Bye~!” Lucatiel gushed and then hung up.

“Have that Worker Rodi transferred to the engineering division, they’ll have it sorted out by the end of the day.” Marcus promptly said in response to the convenient situation. “Now then, once the local garrison exists, we can discuss training exercises then. Meanwhile, I and my fellow strategists will be going over the star maps you’ve all provided and begin planning inter-galactic domination.” Marcus smirked. That kind of statement being a good thing is hilariously ironic.