Pirate Bebop

Ch.89

Meeting Velka for the first time when she was lied atop a pile of glowing eggs was fascinating. I was a little worried about where they had come from though. I had believed that if I ever met Velka, she would instantly peck out my eyes and banish me to Tartarus or something, not be exhausted from laying enormous eggs and clearly unable to pass judgment upon me.

“Warp Spawn.” Thank you for clarifying that, Bryan.

“Bryan, still a lovable asshole, I see.” Velka commented from where she was lying on the clutch of giant eggs, each was easily three times the size of an average infant. No wonder she’s unable to move from atop the pile of giant eggs on the bed.

“So, why did you want us here?” Bryan demanded and I sighed. If I didn’t love the guy I’d hate him. Then again, there is a thin line, maybe I can vent my displeasure with him with passionate sex? I’ve heard that’s a way lovers with friction manage to grease the wheels. Giggity.

“For Bryan, I have a document on those really bad cases. As for Jane, I requested her presence because she’s both powerfully attuned to Forces beyond most of our comprehension and I wished to see a Sinner who has so thoroughly proven worth redemption.” Velka answered before using an Omni to flick a data file at him and then she patted an egg with a nod.

“Really? Um, here I am.” I said before Velka motioned me closer.

“Normally, Sinners have to give me soul energy for their redemption. But that is the past and there are much simpler ways to spiritually repent. You’ve done quite a bit of that already. Just let me hold your hand.” Velka requested tiredly and I put my hand in her talon. “You are rife with crimes, yet hardly any were done with relish unless your target was karmically asking for it.”

“My favorite marks are monsters who deserve all the misery they can get.” I admitted and Velka chuckled darkly while rubbing the back of my hand with her thumb.

“Oh, I know that all too well. I’ve had my spirits do much the same for centuries. I’ve tried other ways, but that mode of operation always returns. One of my favorites is to fuck the sin from someone, but that was only when they came willingly to repent and were quite attractive specimens both outside and within. However, I’m too tired, you’re well enough along. Here.”

I suddenly felt the proverbial weight of my past misdeeds lift from my shoulders and I sighed in relief. That will make my meditation much easier. “Thanks. I’ve always had issues coming to grips with what I’ve done, even if I tried to justify them to myself.”

“I would like to fuck you sometime, so come by when you can.” Velka groaned before looking at Bryan. “The Argentines need some help too, but I’m exhausted and need to wait for Urta to help figure out what to do with these eggs, since they’re unborn entities and fall under her jurisdiction...if we’re still doing that stuff after all this time. Whatever, sleep...zzz....”

“Sorry I’m late!” Urta burst in, nearly breaking the door. “Ah, fuck, sorry Velka.”

“Let the ancient bird sleep, she did just lay...I can’t tell right now, but these eggs are fucking enormous and unlike most of us, she didn’t go ham on self-modding.” Bryan put his arms around Urta and I’s waists and I noticed Urta perked at least as hard and happily as I did at this contact. “Urta, wait for Visi. She’s busy helping Rex and Marcus organize the social and political aspects of our ongoing involvement and Velka is definitely out of it for a while.”

“Oh, alright. So~. What are we doing?” Urta questioned and I had to ponder why Penny was absent. Then again, even though the twin vixens enjoyed being fused into Penta, they were married to different groups, so maybe Penny is spending time with Nexus and her other wives as they chant the names of the missing ones to summon them sooner. Like a seance.

“Uh, well...we could watch a movie or spar some more.” Bryan suggested, caught flat-footed. Clearly he wasn’t expecting Urta to ask for something non-sexual.

“Why not play some games like Mario Party? I’m sure Willow will be up for that. She’s been a rather extensive gamer after we retired to Paradise.” Urta counter-suggested and I perked up.

“Trust me, we’ve been fusing nearly daily, I know. Sometimes we just chill and play a game while fused together.” Bryan replied before leading us away from the room that Velka was recovering in aboard the Vengeful Retributor. The Argentines were not going to let Warp entities, aside from the Twili, casually be left to their own devices.

“I haven’t been able to play video games since I got Displaced. Old John wasn’t exactly a gamer either, so this is something my human half has had entirely separate from my current life.” I said with a mixture of excitement and concern. If I play games now, won’t that be the nail in my human half’s philosophical coffin? Fuck it, I wanna play games.

🎺

“So, what you’re saying is that the Argentines leaving was the right thing to do?” Luster tried to make sense of what Velka stated. Weeks have passed since the Goddess of Sin and Justice arrived in realspace, no longer exhausted from laying giant eggs and requested the Argentine Royals, the Bebop crew and the former Imperial Royals for a court session.

“Indeed.” Velka nodded her head from where she was using Bryan’s lap as her seat.

“Why?” The Zerg Queen asked in distraught as Jane rubbed her shoulders.

“Because it would’ve ended badly for both universes. Nothing should share the same fate, not always. Life isn’t always nice or fair. It can be cruel and lethal in so many ways we’re not ready for. Especially since it is indiscriminate. Existence is a running gag and we’re the butt of the joke.” Bryan said in his typical acerbic fashion.

Creepy ghostly laughter echoed before a Harlequin appeared. “What a marvelous viewpoint~! Yes, we are a living joke! Life’s amusement.” The masked alien snickered before he bowed to Bryan with a flourish while extending an envelope. “My Lord, a message for you. A member of your family wishes to see you.” When Bryan took the envelope, the jester vanished.

“Excuse me.” Bryan muttered when he picked Velka up by her thin waist and set her on his seat before he left the room.

“Life isn’t all doom and gloom.” Luster muttered with a scowl.

“Indeed, but to deny the cruelty of reality is a fool’s ignorance.” Velka declared with a sigh. “That was the folly of us before, believing that since what we were doing was Right, Just and Good, that everything was fine. We didn’t notice the wolves at our doors until it was too late.”

“Except for Bryan. Why didn’t he just warn you?” Jane asked with disappointment.

“We weren’t on the best of terms. We ended up ignoring his warnings and berated him for fear-mongering.” Willow bemoaned. “Besides, we had faith in Cocoa’s abilities to keep things in check, but in the end she came across the Secrets of our enemies too late.”

“Also the Argentines are paranoid and distrustful as a rule, along with all the times our people slighted theirs.” Daring added on and the Marines present nodded.

“Damn, you Argentines are real assholes.” Jet chuffed and Vinnie blepped her tongue.

🎺

“So, what does the letter entail?” Helvex asked his king as he and Ionyx gathered in Bryan’s room.

“Well, besides proving that this is indeed my sister, she has a gift waiting for me. But we won’t be getting it until we make the next jump when we’re done with this system.” Bryan replied with a sigh and tucked the letter away. “How are things coming along?”

“So far, so good. People doing their jobs right and having fun once finished.” Ionyx answered with a chuckle. “Especially with that strip club we have aboard the Vengeful Retributor. Are you sure your new sexual powers had nothing to do with it?” The Empyreal teased and was promptly flipped off.

“Fuck you! It’s not my fault I love sex almost as much as fighting.” Bryan grumbled with a deep blush. He didn’t mind having the Aspect of Sex, he just really needs to be careful with it. Sending his entire ship into a sex frenzy, while fun, was a real wake-up call. Imagine an entire planet experiencing that! “Goddammit, I’m the bastard child of Khorne and Slaanesh.”

“Wow, careful! That sounds heretically true.” Helvex jested while Ionyx barely held back a laugh. “Still, wouldn’t you be happy to see one of your siblings?”

“Yes, Helvex, I would be. Even if she’s not there in person, knowing of her presence is good enough. I’m more curious about what she intends to give us.” Bryan answered, a slight curl appearing on the edges of his lips. His Omni-tool began beeping, letting him know he received a message.

“Training Grounds: URGENT.”

“…Finally. Keep an eye on things, boys. Make sure no one interferes.”

🎺

Jovia was grumpy. The past week was full of odd cramps and she blamed her Argentine aunts and uncles apparently ‘stress testing’ the limits imposed by the Divinity Engine hosted in her womb’s demiplane. She’d be less annoyed if it was any of the fun ways to test it. No, they were apparently in a knock-down drag-out fight to see if there was a point where the DE gave up.

Considering it seems to offload strain on her, she sent a request that they stop before she gets more than just cramps, but that was days ago. She couldn’t even enjoy ‘ball time’ being rolled around by the Raskvel or having sex! So she’s been grumpily soaking in hot baths and eating ice cream while watching drama television.

“Stop! It’s giving me cramps!” Jovia whined as her belly cramped harder and she curled up on the couch. “Ugh, when will they stop sparring? Their powers aren’t even from this thing.”

“I’m terribly sorry.” Freedom popped into reality right beside her. “It’s not their intention to put you through a straining test. Need some alleviation from the pain?” The mysterious entity inquired.

Jovia huffed at the strange man. “Yes, my guts feel like I’m being crushed and beaten from the inside.” Freedom cringed before tapping his finger on her and the pain finally subsided.

“There, that should protect you and the device from them.” The strange man promised.

“Thank you.” Jovia sighed in relief and changed the channel from drama to comedy.

Freedom began to chuckle. “Too much to handle?”

“My uncles and aunts can fuck off.” Jovia growled as she laid on the couch.

“Easy, Jovia. They didn’t mean to hurt you like that and you know it.” Freedom chastised the noodle before sighing. “This needed to happen, in order for the other four to catch up. That way, they won’t need the Lantern’s powers to protect them. On the plus side, they’ll stop whining and accept what they’ve become. It’s messing with their minds.”

“Well, good. This thing isn’t something weakening the gods, they just got so powerful that the universe needed to put a control unit on it. Like a thermostat and they’re being naughty playing with it.” Jovia rubbed and kneaded her formerly hurting tummy.

Freedom waved her off. “Yes, well, it’s not our fault this universe decided to become the way it is. That was the Fallen Empire’s own doing.”

“Oh I know, just stop messing with my tummy.”

“Sorry, but, you’re gonna have to bear with it. They’re not done, yet.” Freedom said, to which Jovia fumed.

But an idea took form and she grinned devilishly. “I think I know how I can get back at them. Shekka and Hildra’s pet project nears completion, so they’ll be showing them off to the very people that helped inspire it~.”

🎺

“There are Rasks fucking in the vents.” Visi chuckled at the sounds of the little aliens fornicating within the ventilation. “I’m surprised it isn’t Yinglets.” Visi could tell because by this point, she’d watched or participated in enough Raskvel orgies to recognize their noises.

“Huh?” Marcus and Rex look at her in confusion. “Why and whereabouts in the vents?”

“They aren’t where they can be heard by dad and the others, right?” Rex questioned, only to see his mother smile widely. “…Is there something else you haven’t told us, yet?”

“Well…let’s just say that, as soon as they finish fighting, they’ll receive a well-deserved break~.” Visilia purred seductively as her boys shuddered. “Oh, are you boys getting excited~?”

“M-Mum, don’t do that!” Rex blushed profusely at his mother, wanting out of this situation. His brother, on the other hand, was having more trouble trying to control his sexual urges. “Dammit, man, keep it together.”

“That’s kinda hard with how-!” Marcus choked on his words when Visi magically discarded her clothes and revealed her glorious body to all. “…Nope! Can’t resist! Fucking her now!” Marcus proceeded to rip off his own clothes and jumped his step-mom! Visi eagerly let him pin her to the bed of the room they’d been chatting in and cried out in pleasure when he penetrated.

“Marcus, you fucking horndog!” Rex covered his eyes in dismay and fled the room, bumping into the wall before escaping. Turbo-hot or not, she’s his mom damn it!

🎺

I had to ponder just how ridiculous my life has become when I realized that the Rebel Alliance is mostly just a bunch of system-hopping nomads in the Dark Sector of Triangulum that hasn’t been properly mapped yet. I mean, we’re strong, yes. The Argentines are powerful as a rule. However, in the grand scheme of things, the forces arrayed against us still outnumber and outgun us 10 to 1. Yet, I don’t feel as if things are all that bad. That’s not just the sex talking.

“I guess Meen-Rei was right.” I remembered what she said about how they love fighting uphill battles. The odds may be stacked against us, but that doesn’t mean we’ve lost. We just need to find another way to overcome this adversity. Besides staying one step ahead and bleeding the giants dry by their ankles.

“Of course she’s right.” Luster Dawn purred as her arms wrapped around my waist. I’m super fucking happy that she’s figured out how to have babies, but I keep having to tell her. “Hey~.” Lusty whined when I kept her hands from going into my pants.

“No puppies. I want them too, but we can’t raise them and I don’t wanna make more just to hand them off to the Scinoxes and other caretakers in Devorak.” I chided my beloved who I was damn well marrying not just because I Love her, but out of principle at this point. “Ow!” A fuck-off huge slug-thrower pistol suddenly launched into my face from the window. Ugh, another Token.

“Who is this one?” Lusty asked when she picked it up. “Wow, someone’s full of themself, but she sounds like the type who earned that confidence. This thing is ancient. I haven’t seen a slug-thrower not using Mass Effect propulsion outside of history files or traditional Argentine guns.” Oh yeah, heard of those. They’re kept around out of ceremony and because they bypass most Mass Effect shielding systems due to the rounds being ‘too slow’ to stop.

“Owie!” A fancy axe guitar suddenly hit me in the gut. “Okay, anyone else?”

“Hey.” I jumped and turned around to see Brennie~! I guess she and her siblings are finally done, for now, flexing their abilities so hard that poor Jovia’s been having cramps. “My fat lazy sibs are taking a break-is that JoJo’s gun and Viv’s axe?” Oh, she knows them?! “You may not want to summon them. Not in a confined space. They’re both as aggressive as you.”

“Me? Why, ya make me sound like a rude bitch who intrudes on other people’s business without provocation.” I fluttered my eyes at her and she made a ‘yeah, you do’ face.

“Hun, no offense, but Freedom can be just as addictive as any sort of drug. I’m glad you haven’t ventured off on the deep end of it, because that’s where Anarchy reigns. Those two? Champions of Anarchy even if they’re married into the richest family on their Earth.” Brennie then looked conflicted. “Viv is also a Demon Princess of Hell, so that’s still awkward.”

“I am fucking summoning them!” I declared excitedly, only for Brennie to suddenly be holding the kickass gun and guitar. “Hey~! Gimme!” I jumped at her playfully, using the Force to move faster, only for Brennie to dance out of the way and holster the gun before she strummed the guitar with a tongue poking out at me.

“Not yet~.” Oh, you tease~! Damn, she was really getting into the punk-rock genre. “Huh? No, wait you bitch I wasn’t-!” The guitar suddenly yanked out of Brennie’s hands and she pouted when it began playing a bitching riff! “Don’t be such a fucking primadonna.” The guitar did a few whines and even a saucy series of notes. “N-not now.”

“Too bad~.” A voice that was like sex in my ears lilted and a hot as hell white foxhound with nine tails and red accents with the Japanese Kanji for Love on her exposed washboard abs in an outfit that made her familiar hourglass body seem rock concert stage ready with gothic leather all over faded in with her hands holding the guitar. “I’ve been waiting to finally meet the people who helped my JoJo become a real bitch.”

“H-Hi.” I stammered and the three eyed bitch-vixen turned her unholy glowing gaze upon me. Her pupils were normal, but the fiery iris and glowing red sclera made them both terrifying and enthrallingly beautiful.

“Well, hell-o~. Wanna fuck?” She just said that? No teasing, no foreplay, just outright asked to have sex? My simulated heart is pounding in my chest!

“Hey Vivienne.” Brennie greeted the foxhound while rubbing her left arm.

“Hey babe!” Vivienne chirped, as if she hadn’t spoken to Brennie a moment before. “I don’t remember much from last time, but I do remember falling asleep in your lap while you got plastered. Nice upgrade. Having tits is better than pecs.” Vivienne stated with an approving nod.

Brennie smiled at her and nodded. “I can see the appeal in it.”

“More like the tons of fun they are. Now, I’m gonna go find some booze, follow if you want.” The demon babe sauntered out of the room while strumming her guitar, each sway of her wide hips causing all nine of her fluffy fox tails to wriggle and writhe enticingly above her booty.

“…I could go for a drink.” Brennie followed after that ass with her tail wagging behind her.

Luster followed without a word and I shrugged before doing the same.