the imminent wreckage of a forthcoming tide

by SecondPrances

Rating: everyone
Tags: Trixie, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad, Starlight Glimmer, Romance, Fluttershy
Length: 1274

a small collection of unconnected sad poems about broken love, toxic relationships, and hiding yourself away.

a small collection of unconnected sad poems about broken love, toxic relationships, and hiding yourself away.

Published 2024-01-15 01:50:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-01-15 01:50:00 UTC

the tattered edges of a broken illusion is where we are

When I woke up this
morning, I didn't
love you anymore.

yesterday I had,
or at least as far
as I can remember.

there was such a yearning
deep down, in my heart
that pounded, and tried
to escape my chest

yesterday when I
looked upon your face,
a flame so bright
it burned something
fierce in my soul

Today, as I see
your slumbering form
jumble of wings and
fur. Mane unkempt
Disquiet snores
your being
occupying so much space
next to me.

Today, I don't love
you. Not like I did
yesterday.
where is the roaring fire
instead, looking
upon your peaceful
sleeping form I feel
safe
secure
comfortable
tame desire, still there.

The want
to be next to you
as bright as ever;
can I still be
your love
if I don't feel it
the same anymore?

what disservice must
I do for all the wondrous
heart you bring
to this notion of
'us', when I have
nothing so much
to give in return.
What is this love
but the desire of 'us',
muted though
It may be.

And do you still love me?
The same way, too?
As I ponder and mull
wrapped in thoughts
as tendrils, writhing
occupying precious space
within my worried mind
your hoof
under warm morning glow
sensing my anxiety
reaches out
touches mine

You're awake
though I never heard you
Nor considered
the quickening of your breath

as you grumble
grasp at consciousness
stir yourself from slumber
lazily, content,
rousing from some cozy dream
your favourite hobby
undoubtedly
you peer at me
with eyes so intense
intelligent
knowing

"What is it?"
you ask

"Nothing,"
I say, and I tell the truth
I remembered
why I loved you
and I do so
all over again

"Want to go to the park today?
It's been so long
since we had a good picnic."

"Nah," you're quick to respond,
rolling over to catch me in warm wings
"I think I'd rather just stay in bed
with you."

self personification in the form of empty words prescribed to a nameless pony

at first you said
"I love you."
but how could you
you, who doesn't know what love means
to burn so hard
you want to tear your heart out
to yearn so much
and be desperate for reprieve
parched
to be consumed
all else taken from you
so rich with desire
you cringe at the sight of me
because it hurts so much
how could you love me

you love the idea of me

do you even know me?

or is it the illusion of me?

or am I the broken one?

we are a destructive force and i am a part of it

Do you think
we're good for each other?

Trixie leaned against
the side of her caravan
and toward the setting sun
bathing the quaint valley
somewhere between Appleoosa
and San Palomino
In an orange blanket of light

No

Starlight didn't look up
from collecting the
shattered remains of
her favourite teacup

We're terrible partners,
aren't we, Star?

Trixie never looked back
watched the way
the canyons and plains
were bathed in long shadows

Yes

Starlight lifted her head
finishing with discarding
the filty remains of
another heated argument

Why?

Trixie didn't dare
move her gaze
or let it wander
for fear of meeting
the other's
disapproving eyes

I guess...we just
want different things
Starlight heaved
heavy, sad sigh.

I'm sorry, Starlight, about--

No, you're not.
And neither am I.

silence passed over,
sticky like the sweat
of a humid day

Do you think that a pony
can be bad, Starlight?

No,
but I do think two ponies
can be bad for each other
and leave each other
worse off together
than not

It wasn't always this
way, was it?
I used to see
a light in your eyes
something I'd never
seen in another pony before
I guess I don't see it
anymore

Trixie frowned
found apparent interest
In her hoof in the dry,
arid dirt

Starlight was silent
until such silence broke
with a frail whisper

I used to love
seeing you learn
new things
you had a love
for learning
that I shared
but now...
It's not there.

Trixie frowned

When I woke up
this morning
you weren't there
or the morning before
or the morning before that
did you mean what you said
when you told me
I was broken
and incapable
of loving
anypony but myself?

Yes.

Starlight drank from a flask
long and slow, taking
careful sips
letting the cheap alcohol
burn on her tongue

Just as you meant
what you said to me
about never
being good enough
always in Twilight's shadow
never able to
make my own way
you meant that
and you were right.

we're terrible for each other, aren't we Starlight?

Yes
now let's get back inside

us is an echo of an impossibility that was never even there and i am a falsehood

footfall on crisp snow
the biting air
crunch, crunch, crunch
new hoofprints that scar
a barren, untouched landscape
that just a day ago was anything but

Ice crystals form in fur
melt from body heat
and refreeze into pointy spikes
cold, the kind that seeps into skin
and bone and everything
leaving her, the pony
hollow

cold, the kind that
pulls out strands of your soul
stretches them out long
into the bitter air
like entrails left to dry
empty memories and shallow
emotions of him
where it starts and ends
she doesn't know

it's this kind of cold
frigid, unforgiving
where seconds is all you have
it places a perspective on life
when you're trying to dull the pain
where it sinks into your bones and
your soul and everything
all you have is to think
and remember
and walk
crunch, crunch, crunch
so she thinks of him

the time he took her dancing
and it had rained
long and hard so that he had to hold out his
wing to keep her dry
that had impressed her then
something so simple
she wished she had a warm body now

yet when she thought of him
whether it the biting wind or something else
the memory felt as cold as the freshly fallen, frozen snow
billowing in drifts that curved and rose over the hill
catching the sun so as to blind her
white as Celestia
and probably more

cold, like her cottage
the day he'd come over
and they'd stayed by the fire all night
huddling under blankets for warmth
and he'd kissed her
and promised her everything
and she thought she'd give it in return

cold, like
a time before, years ago
when her heart, broken
promised itself never to open again
for anypony else
was she incapable of it
or just too guarded
maybe it was for self preservation
or self-pity?
either way

Finally she stood on the
doorstep of his quaint town-
house and knocked dolefully
He opened it quickly, lit
up and stood aside. It's been
weeks, he said. Why didn't you
call? She held her head down and
looked away and avoided
his startled, shocked gaze. She did
not face him, couldn't look up
at his worried eyes, furrowed
brow so the silence hung and
the cold pierced her bones but she
did not accept his urgent
invitation inside, and
instead they stood out on his
doorstep and said nothing or
until she could work up the
courage.

I don't love you.
I never did.
This life isn't for me,
it's not you
I have to go
I'm sorry.