"Ugh, this thing is so damn itchy." Moon complained and scratched the outside of her bandage.

"You probably shouldn't scratch it." Gilda told her and took a bite of a grilled fish. "What's up with that new necklace though."

"It's a gift I got from Heart's Warming."

They were calmly sat at the camp as a fire was lit. A plate of boneless fish was laid out on a plate between them. Gilda had a bandage wrapped around her head. Moon was off a lot worse with bandages covering her entire chest and back. All the courtesy of Luna, who magicked a few rolls over before leaving.

"What would you know about injuries?" Moon asked and begrudgingly stopped scratching.

"I've had my share of crashes during training, and believe me, healthcare, is not a real thing in Griffonia." She replied and continued to eat.

"Seriously? I thought Griffonia was some big empire that rivaled Equestria."

"Nah, might've been in the past, but nowadays it's a struggle to even eat lunch without thinking somepony is gonna rob it." She said as if it was no problem at all. "I'm more surprised that Remedy is still working on that thing." She glanced at Floral, who came out of the forest holding several trees at once.

"Gilda, screw him. He's an anomaly anyway. You had to grow up in that kind of environment?" Moon ignored the stallion who drank some water before getting to work.

"What do you mean, that kind of environment?"

"You said food was scarce, is there a fucking famine in Griffonia right now?"

"Uh, I guess? I mean, we still eat. It's just, nopony actually cooks anything. Without taking bits anyway."

Moon looked on with a pitying look before suddenly hugging Gilda tightly, earning a pained groan from both of them.

"I know how horrible something like that is. I've had to deal with it firsthoof before. If you ever need to talk about it, I'm always available." She said comfortingly.

"I, guh, uhh, I'll uh, keep it in mind." Gilda replied as she struggled a bit to breathe under her unrealistically strong grip.

"Girls? Did one of you manage to shit out spherical poop?" Floral asked as he came closer with the metal axe he took from the wooden pony.

"What?"

"Yeah, what?"

The two were justly confused.

"I found a bundle of ball shaped poop in the woods." Floral simple explained. "If neither of you did it, then a wild animal might've came in. Most likely a prey animal." He kept speaking as he tried to look away.

He knew just what was happening as he stared at Moon. Gilda was slightly worried as Moon's face slowly morphed into extreme excitement.

"Really?" Floral asked as he raised an eyebrow.

"Please?" Moon said with a giant smile.

As a few seconds pass with Floral being slightly amazed at her brazenness, he finally gave a sigh. "Fine." He said and turned around to leave.

"Uh, what just happened?" Gilda asked from the side.

"I sent him on a hunt." Moon replied proudly.

"For what?"

"For dinner, and maybe tomorrow's breakfast if it's big enough." She said happily as she kept staring at Floral for him to leave.

Getting up with a small jump, flinching from pain, she skipped over to a seemingly random tree.

"Uh, what are you doing?" Gilda asked with a chuckle at the weird scene.

"Just a small hobby." She replied and came back with a piece of wood.

"What is it?"

"It's supposed to be a, uh, what'cha call it, a doll of some sorts." She explained as she sat down with her dagger.

"That, is a doll?"

"Hey, this is my first time trying this shit."

"Then, what's it supposed to be?"

"Uhhh, I, didn't really have a lot of references." She said and turned it over.

Although not much could be told, the details were obviously hinting at an equine.

"Is it Remedy?" Gild asked as a sudden thought came to her.

Even though she didn't have much experience in this kind of relationship, even she could see it.

"You can tell just from this?" Moon asked with a confused expression.

"Uh, yeah, you've shown plenty already." She commented with an amused grin before returning to her fish.

"I, what? The fuck are you talking about?" The Nocturnal was just getting more confused.

"You wouldn't happen to have a fridge do you? Or, like, some kind of shelf?"

"No?"

"Shame." Gilda finally ended the conversation, leaving Moon alone with her ever profound confusion.

"Huh?"

"Don't worry about it."

"I am so, wait a damn second." Moon's demeanor suddenly changed as she stood up.

Seeing the serious expression she was making, Gilda followed suit as she stood up, ready for a fight.

"What's happening?" She asked Moon.

"Shush, I hear something." She said carefully and focused on the sound.

Rotating several times to determine the location, she finally stopped at a direction before opening her eyes.

"Gilda, I'm too injured to properly move my body, as well as use magic. So, be ready to run if something dangerous comes out." Moon sternly told her as she lightly pushed her out of the camp and towards Floral.

"What the hay are you talking about!? Let's just go to Remedy, he seemed to be pretty dang fine." Gilda retaliated as she was hurried along.

"That's a great option, but usually, there's at least another bastard to go after me. And I'm not so sure we can just run away from it."

"NIGHTMARE MOON! COME OUT!" The yelling of a stallion rang through the area.

"What in the fuck?" Moon cussed as she turned to look at the source.

"I thought you got away scot free from the law." Gilda commented as she took a protective stance.

"Uh, yeah." Moon replied and pulled Gilda behind herself. "Ass of the Sun herself told me all officially and shit."

"You sure?"

"Positve. Unless I was drinking at that time, but I think I wasn't."

"You think?"

"There she is!" A random mare yelled out.

"She has that griffin as her servant!"

"Oh you gotta be fucking with me." Moon said out loud as she took a step back.

"Why the buck, is the whole town of Ponyville here?" Gilda asked as she took a step also.

"I don't fucki-wait, a damn second. That fucking brat told on me."

"Get her!"

"Run!" Moon yelled as they ran back.

"Why are we running?" Gilda asked as she dodged a rock.

"I can't fight a whole fucking town with these injuries." She said back and ducked under a branch before sidestepping a full on cake.

"Fucking hell. That's what you say right?" Gilda joked slightly as they ran through the woods.

"Perfect, fucking, usage." Moon said back as she thought of a plan. "Now, where the fuck is Floral?"

Grunting under strain, I managed to stop a boar completely. Lifting it slightly from the ground by its tusks, I smashed its head to the ground, creating a small crater. Grabbing the axe that I had stabbed into its side, I brought it down on its neck and smashed a green rock in the process.

Without much time to rest, I jumped over another one and immediately took a defensive stance against the third one. Straining my body, I grit my teeth and continued to attack.

Why the fuck did I agree to go on a hunt again?

Immediately getting hit with an image of Moon looking at me with pleading eyes, I banished the thought and focused back on the fight.

"Alright boys, Moon wants something other than fish for dinner so, I'll just say sorry in advance." I said my piece before turning the boar on its side. "I think I saw a bacon recipe in Gustavo's book."

Fucking morons. Illi fatui. Featherbrains! Wait, Rich is an earth pony.

Gah! It doesn't matter. Those fools are gonna get themselves killed trying to go after Moon like that.

"Sister! What are we to do if Remedy has already slain a few?!" Luna asked as she flew right beside me.

"We'll cross that bridge when we get there!" I yelled back and focused on my magic. "We should be reaching teleport distance soon. How fast can the guards catch up to us?!"

"They'll take at least a few minutes! I didn't get the chance to train their marching speed!"

"Woah!" I let out a surprised sound as I maneuvered through the air.

"Blasted things!" Luna yelled as we took combat stances.

Looking at the hundreds of vines coming out of the forest, and very obviously coming for us, I could let out only a single sentence.

"Why did it have to be tentacles?"

"Sister, what are you talking about?"

"Don't worry about it, Luna. Just don't read Neighpanese literature."

*Rumble*

"Where is she?!"

"They couldn't have gone far!"

"We have to capture her before she can get powerful again!"

Patiently waiting for the ponies to pass, I breathed a sigh of relief before standing up slowly.

"Alright, coast is clear. Maybe we can hide in the leftover parts of the treehouse. They wouldn't expect us to be hiding in a ruined building right?" I suggested as we threw away our bush disguise.

"Yeah, I think that could work." Gilda replied and we started to run away.

Halfway through our secret escape, we stopped to rest a bit. Having sprinted at full speed while heavily injured, just walking was starting to become a pain.

"So, why're these guys going after you anyway?" Gilda asked.

"Why do you think?" I replied.

"Cuz you're freaking Nightmare Moon or whatever, yeah, I got that part. I'm asking how they found out about you and why they're attacking you."

"Ugh, it's cuz some random ass kid wandered in here, turns out she was the kid of that slick looking mother fucker that was leading the mob."

"Well, buck." She said as we eased down.

"You gotta learn some real cusses kid."

"Oh yeah? What would you say then?"

"I'd have said shit. Cuz this is a shitty situation."

"Alright, then what does shit mean?"

"Poop. Why the fuck do I have to explain this?"

"There's no poop involved!"

"It just means horrible! You ass!"

"Then what the buck does that mean?!"

"It means-!" In an instant, I pushed her down and ducked myself.

*Bam*

"Who the fu-shit." I interrupted myself as I stared at an ape.

Well, apes, plural.

"You wouldn't happen to have a way to beat all of them, would you?" Gilda asked as we both prepared to run.

"Hell no!" I yelled and we both sprinted away.

Barely dodging a rain of rocks and hard fruits, we ran through the woods with an evasive maneuver. Though, against the monkey army, we couldn't get much speed.

I stumbled slightly before picking myself up and continuing to run. These fucking injuries are so damn annoying.

"Alright, screw this." I mumbled and gathered what little magic I could.

Using it all for one spell, I punched to the biggest tree I could see. It instantly broke from the punch, making loud banging noises behind us as we ran away. With the strategy thought of, I randomly kept punching until the rain of rocks stopped coming.

"Where are we even going?!" Gilda asked from beside me.

"Away!" I gave an answer and jumped over an overgrown root.

I don't think I've actually been to this part of the barrier before.

Almost coming out of the treeline, I recognized the big one right in front of us. Signaling for her to take the lead, we ran over and looked up to see the hidden half of the treehouse remaining.

"Here." Gilda floated up and offered me her claw.

Taking it, she lifted us both and we stayed quiet.

With heavy breaths, we hid under the shadows and a few broken tiles that fell from the ceiling.

"Seriously, where the fuck is Floral?" I muttered the question.

"Just who is Floral?" Gilda asked.

"He's Remedy. Don't ask, it's a whole backstory thing. Now shush." I explained and stayed quiet as the monkeys started to come closer.

"Look! Monkeys!" A stallions voice rang out.

And now the angry mob is here.

Great.

Just where in the everloving fuck is Floral!?

With a slap, I rotated another monkey in the air and instantly threw a punch at another one.

Leap to dodge two more and then slam them together.

Keep fighting whilst dodging all the projectiles.

"Seriously, what the fuck? I just wanna bring this hog to the camp." I mumbled and swung my axe to split another one in half.

"Ugh, finally." I said with a tired voice as me and Luna landed on the ground.

"Well that was certainly annoying." Luna commented and threw away a broken vine.

"I agree." I said and looked around the camp. "Now, just what is happening here?"

Ponies and monkeys were fighting against each other in a rather comical way. Things such as cupcakes and carrots were being thrown around. Some were even yelling out war cries.

Somehow, someway, sombrero, Filthy Rich was standing at the front of it all.

Oh and Moon, along with a griffin for some reason, was hiding behind the giant tree, on a treehouse? It looks rather impressive, but still, it's broken.

"Well this is certainly the least lethal combat I've witnessed." Luna commented as we stepped forward.

Deflecting a stray cookie and the occasional origami weapon with magic, we made our way through the outskirts and towards the duo hiding in the tree.

"Hi." I gave a simple greeting.

"Yeah, yeah, I saw you two coming." She said in her usual grumpy tone. "Hey as well." Surprisingly, she also greeted Luna in a completely normal way, pleasantly surprising us both. "So, control your fucking crowd." She just demanded.

"Fine, fine, you have the right." I almost gave in. "But, could you tell us exactly what went down? I didn't get the full details from my report."

"Who is Filthy Rich, that he could rally an entire town to raid the Everfree Forest?" Luna asked the obvious question. "Nice necklace by the way."

"He's rich, Luna, he's just rich. Sadly, being rich comes with the added bullshit called pride, which apparently got broken when his daughter came over." Moon explained sarcastically. "And thanks, the old asshole got it for me."

"Oh."

Both me and Luna instantly understood the problem.

"Well, I suppose we should start with calming the monkeys down before anypony gets hurt." I suggested before staring upwards. "Though, could we meet your griffin friend, Moon?" I asked.

"Huh? Oh, Gilda, yeah, sure, whatever. Gilda!" Moon called her friend over.

"Gah! Freaking!" A female voice yelled out and, Gilda, jumped out of the treehouse.

Sharing a glance with Luna, I grabbed her in my magic and slowly lowered her to my level. Though, there was a monkey strapped to her face.

"Are you alright?" I asked calmly after taking the monkey away.

She looked around for a second before finally looking at me. Eyes slowly becoming too wide, she silently kept staring before speaking up.

"Moon, what do I say in this situation?" She suddenly asked.

"Eh, I say you tell her to fuck off." Moon replied with a grin.

"Yeah, no. You still haven't told me what that means." She Gilda replied.

"Well, I'm certainly flattered." I interrupted and put Gilda down.

Luna used her magic to grab a random pony in the midst of the fight.

"Good afternoon." She gave a simple greeting.

"P-princess Luna?!" The brown coated stallion shouted in surprise.

"Yes, you are blessed or whatever, have you seen Fluttershy?"

"Uh, I apologize, but I haven't seen her all day."

"Oh, shame." She said and placed the stallion back in the midst of three monkeys, shortly before blasting all three monkeys away.

"Why the fuck woul-AGH! What the fuck!" Moon was interrupted by a random plate hitting her.

"Moon! Are you alright?"

"Moon!"

"By the stars."

"Fucking hell, I'm fine. Ugh, just, it fucking hit the horn." Moon refused help as she held the base of her horn.

"I should still check." I said and tried to take a closer look.

"I'm fine, dumbass." She refused my help.

"Please, Moon, damage to the horn is a serious issue for ponies. If your magic circuits get damaged, that could travel throughout your entire body and make it so that you can't use magic, ever." I explained and waited for her.

She stayed silent for a few seconds before letting out a tired groan. "Fine, whatever."

"I'm glad that you can trust me." I said and started to inspect.

"Don't push it, Sunny, you're the one bringing supplies anyway." She replied rather coldly.

I only chuckled at her words.

"Hmm, it's cracked." I said out loud.

"It was only a plate, wasn't it?" Gilda added from the side.

"It matters not what managed to deal damage, but the fact of the matter is that horns are both resilient, yet fragile. Although, the weaknesses are hard to notice since they're all only formed by how much magic one has used." Luna explained as she took a closer took. "Though, this is rather extensive."

"I agree, a few more hits before this heals and it might come right off. You were unlucky." I added in.

"Doesn't fucking matter, i don't use your bullshit Equestrian magic anyway." Moon said and pulled her head back. "Fuck that hurts though."

I gave a sigh at that. "Well, the horn is basically a bone connected to the skull, so it's rather sensitive."

"I don't need a fucking lesson right now." She said.

"As alright as you are with it, Remedy will not be happy with the residents of Ponyville." Luna interjected.

"Well, I should be, hopefully, able to stop him from hurting them." I said as I thought of the plans I could do.

"I feel like I'm dreaming." Gilda commented from the side. "Can't one of you just tell him to stand down?" She asked.

"I'm afraid he doesn't exactly follow our commands." I spoke up.

She took a few moments to take it in. "Fucking hell." She finally said, much to the joy of Moon.

Turning to the ongoing battle, I was observing if I should actually go in. Then the guards finally appeared.

"Hmm, they're still too slow." Luna mumbled to herself.

"They were sufficient, Luna." I said and started to go in. "You two can rest now, me and Luna will take care of monkeys." I said and walked away with Luna.

"Make sure that stick inside the motherfucker's ass comes out!" Moon yelled from behind us.

"Can't guarantee that!" I yelled back.

Slowly suppressing the monkeys with the help of the guards, we made our way through and stood in front of the mob.

"Good afternoon to you all." I spoke calmly.

Murmurs were carried throughout the crowd as the chaos started to die down. Mainly guesses on why I was here and why I didn't come earlier.

Though, they were all about me specifically. Still, Luna, seemed to be fine.

"Alright, as simply as this had ended, I'll still have to ask. What were you all thinking?! You all could've gotten seriously injured, or worse!" As I admonished them, something started to feel wrong.

Like everything is about to go horribly right now.

With a sudden wave of pressure washing over me, I realize exactly what was about to happen.

"Yo, dude. Really, I'm fine!" I heard Moon's nervous voice.

"WHO DARES TO ATTACK THIS PLACE?!" And there he was.

"As always, like I'm facing a spawn of Tartarus." Luna said from the side.

"Yeah, this is becoming troublesome." I said and started to walk on over.

"Halt!" One of our guards raised his spear, and got knocked out with one punch before I could say anything.

"Remedy!" I called out.

Flinching slightly from his sudden glare, I took a breath as me and Luna walked over.

"If you're going to protect whoever that did this, then I will attack you." He said in a threateningly low voice.

"For goodness sake, Remedy. I'm here to stop this mess." I said with a sigh.

"I'm also here." Luna said from behind me.

"Should probably calm down, old timer." Gilda said in a forced joking tone.

"Really, dude, I'm fine. It's just another injury on my old ones." Moon added on top as she slung a hoof over him.

Glancing forward with a questioning glare, he scanned the area for a few seconds before closing his eyes, letting the pressure wash away. Then, he was back to his usual self.

The old stallion. One that is slowly proving to be more of a headache than I first thought.

"For what reason did they attack?" He calmly asked.

"Funny, that's what I want to ask." I replied and turned back to look at the crowd.

Most of them were knocked out with only a few barely standing. At least the guards managed to stay awake, just barely though.

Luna magicked over Filthy Rich before giving him a good slap, successfully waking him up.

"Please I did my taxes!" He yelled as he jumped up.

"Who are you?" Remedy asked with a glare.

"Why should I-"

I stopped his question with a glare.

"Filthy Rich, sir." He quickly added at the end.

"Why did you attack, Filthy?" Remedy asked.

"Nightmare Moon was, uh, was." It seems he finally noticed Moon and Luna looking over him.

"Is your daughter the one with the tiara?" Remedy asked again.

"Yes?" Filthy was now officially broken.

"You're an irresponsible father." He said and turned to leave. "Come on you two, help me drain the blood of those pigs." He told Moon and Gilda.

"Fuck yes! Let's grill that shit!" Moon was certainly excited.

"Are pigs that good?" Gilda just asked as she was forced along by Moon.

Looking at the trio completely ignoring the disaster on their camp, I sighed one last time before looking at the guards. At least their recovery seem good.

"Guards! Wake the civilians up and escort them back to their place of residence!" I shouted the command. "So, think we should join them?" I turned to ask Luna.

She gave a stretch as a few audible pops rang out. "Yeah, we missed lunch to get here anyway. You'll probably get in trouble with Raven Inkwell though." She said with a giggle before walking away.

Looking at her back, and taking a glance at the moving guards, I could come to a single conclusion.

"I should really retire." I mumbled and teleported over to take a seat.

At least these visits are usually peaceful.

*ROAR*

A giant ape suddenly came in breaking through the woods.

"Ugh, I'll take care of it." Remedy spoke up and went towards it with a sharp looking dagger.

"Could really go for a drink right about now." Moon commented.

"Too bad that barrel got destroyed." Gilda added.

"Oh, right, you asked me to bring you a bottle last time." Luna spoke up and brought out a bottle from her mane.

"It's barely an hour past noon!" Why am I the only sensible one?

Author's Note

New chapter out!

I dare you guys to count how many times 'fuck' was written in this chapter. Don't know why, but I think my cuss battery was running out of juice and only pumping out the most basic ones.

Anyways, thanks for reading!