Beat Hazard

by Papineo

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Crossover, Comedy, Romance, Adventure
Length: 10482

Bronies and Gamers, prepare to get your freaking minds blown.

So yeah. Bronies and Gamers, keep your boners down until AFTER the story is finished.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-07-07 23:42:55 UTC

Single and Proud

9:00 P.M. (From the viewpoint of Prince)

"Dyu know how hard it is to get first place when there's sex going on in THIS HOUSE!" I screamed at them.

"Well maybe you should get your own girl mister "Best at Mario Carriage"." Pearl called out.

"Seriously, you need to sometimes get your head out of the games and into life!" Stargaze added.

"I'm fine alright, I'm just DAMNIT PRINCESS CELESTIA, WHY MUST YOU ALWAYS USE THE SPINY SHELL!" I screamed in frustration.

"Geez, you mad bro?" Stargaze commented.

"Take a chill pill." Pearl shot in.

"How about you two go back to what your doing, and I'll go back to mine." I gritted through my teeth.

*Dead silence*

"Umm, hello?" I asked kind of worried.

I walked over to the room wondering what was going on, opened the door, and ran at the sight.

"Oh Celestia, 69 is not my favorite number anymore." I mumbled.

I was out taking a walk, I've been doing that a lot lately since Stargaze and Pearl have had other plans like dinner, a movie, stuff like that. I kindly refused not to go because, I just didn't want to spoil it for them. But they were right though, I've been playing games a lot lately, and my social life isn't that big. I was right then currently staring at the giant sign on the Gameclop window showing that they would be having a tournament.

"A Mario Carriage tournament huh, could get some new friends if I won." I told myself.

I walked over to the sign-up sheet, posted my name, and collided headfirst with another pony.

"Watch where you goin-" I stopped in my tracks. In front of me was the most beautiful pegasus I've ever seen in my life.

"Uh, sorry." She apologized. She quickly flew over to the sign-up sheet, posted her name, and flew quickly out of there. I cupped both of my hoofs over my face and kept telling myself "I'm such an idiot" before I decided to walk back to the house.

"Sorry I'm late, I went to-" I stopped mid-sentence quickly realizing that if I told them about the tournament, they'd surely get pissed.

"I went to uh, take a two hour long crap...yeah...a crap." I lied.

"Oh, um, kay?" Stargaze replied in confusion.

"Up for a game of Canterlot Crashers? We need a Red Knight." Pearl asked.

"No thanks, I think I'll just go to my own house....yeah...my house." I denied.

"Is it me, or does every time he does something he repeats it?" Stargaze asked.

But I was already out of there.

The walk back to my house took only fifteen minutes, but it felt like an hour for my anxious waiting for the tournament.

I kept telling myself, "You got this, your the man, me gusta." I had played Mario Carriage on every system nonstop for three hours straight, only being fueled by Red Pegasus, the best energy drink in Equestria.

6:55 A.M.

Everyone was at their stations, ready to tackle this tournament faster than my first kiss (0.4 seconds). I looked around, but stopped when I spotted that pegasus I ran into the day before. As I made my way over to smooth talk her, the announcer started saying "Alright, fillies and gentlecolts, on my mark, we will reveal the track, first place get's a thousand bits, second gets 500, and third gets 250, others get a cookie."

"Sweet deal." I said sarcastically to myself.

"On your marks, get set..." I was sweating, a lot, a little too much, I think I created a sweat puddle..."GO"

"What? OH CRAP!" I screamed starting to accelerate. Oh this is easy, Rainbow Road was the track that Pearl and Stargaze could never beat me at.

"5th, 4th, 3rd, 2nd." I was telling myself in concentration.

"Your not getting me this time Toad!" The person in front of me said launching and green shell back at me, nailing me with direct impact.

"Damn you!" I raged.

I drove through an item box, hoping for a red shell since we were already on the final lap.

"Crap, banana, I only have one shot." I told my self throwing the banana. I watched it sail right in front of him, spinning him out and granting me the lead, or so I thought as I passed the finish line.

"Hell yeah! I got, wait a second..I GOT SECOND!" I screamed in anger.

"Yup, it turns out that that pegasus over there got first." The announcer explained. I expected him to point over at the pegasus that I hot with the banana, but he actually pointed to the one I bumped into the day before.

"Well this sucks." I told myself.

"Don't be so hard on yourself kid, at least you won 500 bits for yourself." The announcer told me.

"Yeah, you're right." I replied.

I walked out of the store with a heavier wallet when I was stopped by someone. I turned around to be face to face with that pegasus from yesterday.

"Oh um, hi?" I told her confusingly.

"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry about yesterday, also that my name is ( Can someone recommend me a name? OC not main cast)." Then she flew away.

10:00 A.M.

"Sorry I'm late, I was on a journey....yeah...a journey." I lied.

"That's totally not suspicious at all.....did you get laid?" Stargaze asked me.

"I wish man, where's Pearl?" I asked. He pointed down to his crotch area.

"OH GOD!" I closed my eyes and ran headfirst into a wall.

Contest Time

My cookies, I summon you a task, for the champion emerges with glorious prizes. You see, your fellow king wants an awesome, creative title card for this story, he wants the link to each picture, and a cookie (not really). We all know the Stargaze is blue and black, Prince is ash grey, and Pearl is white with a pink mane. Good luck, AND GOOD COOKIES!

Lock 'n Load

10:00 P.M., 2 hours before release of new Playstable Vita. From the viewpoint of Stargaze.

"Up and down boys, ten more pushups and we'll start on barraging through crowds!"Pearl commanded like a drill sergeant.

"Anymore of this and I'm barraging through you."Prince mumbled silently.

Pearl eyed him in anger, "What was that private?" Pearl raged on.

"Nothing ma'am!" Prince replied quickly.

"I will have no back talk, we need to get those systems before they're sold out until next shipment. Our number one priority is to get each of us one system, survive the crowds and possibly moshpits, and hightail our asses out of there!" Pearl instructed.

"Can we at least have a break." I asked trying to breathe.

"No breaks...or no sex!" Pearl demanded.

"Must you torture me!" I said in distraught.

"Your acting like you have it bad." Prince eyed at me.

     "Speaking of that, what were you really doing yesterday, huh?" I asked in confusion.

"A two hour crap...yeah...a crap." He replied knowing that he lied.

"How does one man get five hundred bits from crapping?" Pearl asked holding up his wallet.

"...I uh, went to the Equestria Book of World Records office and showed them...yeah...showed them." Prince lied.

"Will you stop doing that, wait, what's up with your wings?" I asked now just downright wondering.

"Heh, someone has a wing-boner." Pearl said in a sly tone.

"I do not!" Prince replied in defense.

We both pointed to his now fully erect wings. He started to blush madly.

I gasped, "Did you finally get laid yesterday!" I said sarcastically.

"That doesn't explain the five hundred bits, wait, are you a hooker?" Pearl asked starting to slowly inch away from Prince.

"No, alright, here's the truth, I went to a Mario Carriage Tournament and met this fine ass pegasus named Moon Beam, also at the tournament I won second place and got the prize of five hundred bits, and no, I didn't get laid Stargaze." Prince explained.

"Didn't we tell you to get your head out of the games!" Stargaze demanded.

"Well you know what Stargaze, the world doesn't perform to your or Pearl's rules alright. It's my life and I can do whatever the hell I want to do with it! So buck off!" Prince yelled in anger.

"We were just saying that you shou-" I was cut off with a hoof to the face.

"Hey, what the hell is wrong with you!" Pearl shouted in rage. But Prince just ran out of the house and to somewhere else.

"Ohhh, my head." I mumbled in pain.

"Prince kind of owned you, but I think we were too demanding on him, and about that Moon Beam pony." Pearl wondered.

"I think we need to pay a visit." I replied.

11:00 from the viewpoint of Prince

How dare those two, thinking they can rule over my life like I'm there slave, it's disgusting. I just wanted to get as far away from them before they- *CRASH*

"Ow!" Winced a girly voice.

"Pearl, get away from me!" I said in rage.

"Who's Pearl?" Asked the voice.

"Umm, never mind, who are yo-" I said before gasping at my sight. It was a pony with an extremely dark blue coat, a snow white mane, and emerald green eyes, that pegasus, Moon Beam.

"Oh I remember you, you got second in that tournament we were at yesterday!" She said kind of happy.

"Um yeah!" I said feeling better.

"I was just on my way to Gameclop to wait in line for the Playstable Vita, would you like to join me?" She asked.

"Sure!" I replied happily.

11:30

"You know, two paragraphs ago when I said that we were gonna pay some visits, it sounded much cooler back then." I told Pearl.

"Never mind that, it's only thirty minutes until the release, we need to go to Gameclop right now!" Pearl yelled.

"Fine but if I get to the system first, I get a quicky!" I demanded.

"So you say that you never lose in Mario Carriage huh?" Moon asked.

"Yup." I replied

She quickly flew to my ear and whispered "Well you lost to me."

"Oh alright, one measly loss can't kill ya." I replied in defense.

She pointed to the massive crowd outside of the Gameclop. "Well that surely can."

"Just hand me the bits and we'll have those systems faster than you can say...ah screw it."

With that I ran into the crowd with know intent on turning back.

"Who the hell stays up this late at night for a freaking system!" I screamed.

"I dunno, Buck Norris?" Pearl suggested.

(Epic Montage Time)

I ran into the crowd with my hopes high, even if my chances of getting a system where very low.

"I GOT ONE, I GOT ONE!" A pony screamed in happiness.

I grabbed his shoulder and turned him around, "Nope, Buck Testa." I said punching him in the muzzle and picking up his system.

"Alright, just need one more and I'm out of this hellhole." I said in delight.

(Even Longer Epic Montage Time)

I looked around the store looking for another and only spotted three, two of which were quickly taken. I ran through a lot of the crowd before a gray figure take the system.

"Stop right there you low-life piece of shit(WOAH).

"Heh, I always knew you'd show up to stop me, but I can't let you have that system Prince." I started into a battle stance.

"Well, I can't let you screw up my chances for a shot at a love life, so move blue-brain." Prince raged.

The crowd started to gather and wonder about the commotion going on.

"Woah check it out, two guys are fighting over a system." A pony said.

The crowd started chanting "FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!".

Prince and I didn't notice, we were too busy lashing punches at each other.

"Give me the damn system Prince!" I screamed.

"Hell no, fork over the damn box you prick." Prince replied angrily.

The power of our fighting was starting to take over the magic inside of us and we each started to rage more and more until we were both surrounded in auras the color of our coat colors. We both ran to each other, both of out fists clenched in anger and frustration, as we got close enough, we both threw out punches at each other, only not knowing the destruction it would cause.

So how dyu like the story so far, and how are your contest entries coming, if you don't know what I'm talking about, read the end of chapter 3. Good luck all my little cookies!

Changes

"Hey Stargaze, you're looking a little pale." Pearl said in confusion.

"Yeah and where'd you get the sweet shades?" Prince asked in awe.

"Well you see, my creator decided to redo me, so I look different, and also, my name isn't Stargaze anymore, it's Starbass." I explained.

"Sounds like some type of rave name." Pearl said unhappily.

"Speaking of raves, I have something to show both of you." I said motioning them to follow me. We walked down to the basement, with me turning on the lights.

"What's down here? Did you find my Playcolt collection?" Prince said kind of worried.

"No....ew" I said taking out a pen and writing on my hoof "Find Playcolt collection and hide it from them".

"So what were you showing us?" Pearl asked slightly annoyed at Prince.

I stomped my hoof on the ground three times, causing it to rumble. The whole house then started to rumble violently causing us to all grab the walls.

"I-I-I-I C-C-C-CAN'T-F-F-F-FEEL-M-M-M-MY F-F-F-FACE!" Prince said retardedly. The whole house then stopped rumbling as the object started rising from the ground.

"What the hell is that?" Pearl asked in shock. I walked over to the object, or turntable and flipped the ON switch. A slow catchy beat started playing. I picked up a record and placed through the needle. I picked up another, doing the same. The beat changed into a catchy, synthy tempo. The bass picked up every so lightly until Prince and Pearl started tapping their hooves to the beat. The bass suddenly dropped so hard that all of us got blasted out of the roof of my house.

"No biggie, we can fly anyways." I said not worried.

"BUT I CAN'T YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF CRAP!" Pearl screamed.

"Oh yeah." I said.

I quickly flew down hard trying to catch Pearl before she met her inevitable doom.

"I'LL SAVE YOU!" Prince yelled from nowhere flying hard in.

"Dude STOP!" I screamed worried.

We both collided with Pearl falling through the floorboard of my house.

Pearl was laying in the hospital bed with me trying to restrain myself from choking Prince to death.

"Totally worth it." Prince stated.

You're Playing WHAT?

Prince was getting annoyed. Stargaze,er,Starbass wouldn't stop mixing songs. One particular song making him want to scream with all the synths and drops.

"Could you stop, I swear I'm gonna scream!" Prince yelled over the music.

"Seriously, how can we hear it from the basement!" Pearl screamed annoyed.

RUDEBOY BASS, MASH UP THE PLACE!

"The hell did you just say?" Prince asked in confusion.

"Another drop and he gets no sex for a MONTH!" Pearl screamed in hope I would stop. Luckily, since I care about my sex, the music stopped dead on a dime and I rose from the basement.

"Alright you got me." I said quite unhappy.

"Thank you Celestia." Prince mumbled.

KNOCK

"Who in the hell could that be?" Pearl asked.

I walked over to the door, hoping for it not to be the Royal Guard...again. When I opened the door I was face to face with a pony with the same mane, tail, glasses, and coat color as me.

"I know you, you're Vinyl Scratch!" I said hoping for a autograph.

"Well I just wanted to stop by because I heard your sweet music from the other side of the town." She said quite satisfied.

"Isn't the other side of town the whole town of Ponyville? Oh boy that's bad." I said worried.

"Geez man calm your nuts I'm only saying that I came to hang out with you guys." She explained.

My heart felt like it just exploded, I was finally about to hang out with the pony of my dreams, oh wait I'm already taken.....SHIT!

(Try to read really fast)

"OhbythewayPearljustwantedtosaythatI'mbreakingupwithyoubutthatdoesn'tchangeanythingbythewaymynameisskrillex."

"Well I have been cheating on you anyways." Pearl confessed.

"It'sgoodtoseeyoudon'tmindwaitWHAT!" I babbled angrily.

"Weren't we supposed to be hanging out?" Vinyl asked.

"Sure thing, just sit down. Do you need anything to drink?" I asked quickly.

"I'm fine." She replied.

Prince walked into the kitchen, swearing to himself that he was going to eat pie for the rest of the night.

"My only friend...pie" Prince said happily to himself.

"Is there anything wrong with him?" Vinyl asked me.

"Retardedness, loneliness, the list goes on." I explained.

"Anyways, I brought Dj Pony 2!" She said excitedly.

"Your playing WHAT?" Prince asked from the kitchen.

"Ignore him." I told her.

She inserted the game into my X-Clop 360 and then she took out two record controllers. We had both agreed on one track. I kept making glances at her part of the screen, seeing her nail each note as they hit the hotbar like it was nothing.

Oh man the drop is coming I don't think I can handle that much pressure!

10 minutes later

Nurse Redheart was finishing up her work for the day when she heard a loud noise and then whistling. The whistling got louder and louder until Prince crashed in through the wall.

"What the?" Nurse Redheart asked suprised.

"Bass drops, I hate em." Prince groaned from under the rubble.

1 hour later

Prince walked into the house unhappily with bandages over one of his hind hooves.

"I used to be in this house like you, but then I took a bass drop to the knee." Prince growled angrily.

Together We Can

I cringed from the annoyance in my head.

"Wake up, wake up, WAKE UP!" A voice screamed into my head.

My eyes popped open, in front of me was Vinyl, Pearl holding Prince into a corner. My rage suddenly grew again as I remembered the fight we had after he came back into the house. I jumped up from the floor, fueled by my anger as I pushed Pearl away from Prince and held him by the neck. We both started throwing hooves at each other in a fast, rapid motion. Vinyl and Pearl tried to push us away, but we wouldn't budge.

"STOP!" Vinyl screamed.

We all stopped and looked over at the mare.

"Prince you're complaining over nothing, Starbass, there's no need to fight, now how about both of you grow some balls and MAKE UP!" Vinyl screamed annoyed.

I glared at Prince, with him throwing the look right back at you.

"Sorry." We both said to each other.

"Was that so hard? Now how about we get to the reason I came here?" Vinyl asked.

"Yeah why did you really come here?" I asked in unison.

"Well kid, you've got potential. Your music is freaking epic, I mean, I'm pretty sure anyone in a five mile radius would jizz to it." Vinyl explained.

"Doesn't make us jizz...." Prince muttered.

"Anyways, I start my duet-tour in a few weeks and so far, I have no person to be my duet. You up for it?" Vinyl asked in hope.

"Hmmm, I would have to check my schedule." I replied as an answer.

"Schedule? All you've been doing was playing video games and freaking me." Pearl shot.

"Nevermind, I'll take the job, but what's the pay?" I asked.

"One-hundred thousand bits a gig." Vinyl replied.

"That's a lot of money..." Prince said to himself.

"And where do we live?" I asked.

"Any damn hotel we want to." Vinyl explained quite pleased with herself.

"And can they come?" I asked lastly.

"Err....no." Vinyl answered.

"Oh good, I don't think I could live with that crap for six months." Pearl said happily.

"I really don't think that'll be a problem then." I said happily.

She handed me a card.

"Here's my address, visit me tomorrow, and we can discuss there." She said getting up.

She walked over to the door and held it open.

"Hell, why not come now, it's a long walk anyways."

"Sure I'll come." I said looking over at Prince and Pearl.

"We'll be fine as long as Prince here doesn't try to make a move on me." Pearl explained.

Okay Starbass, this is your chance, your chance to get the girl of your dreams. She's just like you, same mane-style, same coat color, both music lovers, you got this.

"So uh, where you from?" I asked out of nowhere.

"I was born in Canterlot,but moved here when I was six." She explained.

"Oh cool." I said feeling kind of sad. Vinyl must've noticed this because she asked, "Something on your mind?"

"Oh well, I was born in Manehattan, but my dad got sick, so we moved to Ponyville, to be away from the crime and gangs so that my dad would feel better. But the sickness got to his heart and he died on my sixth birthday." A single tear dropped from my eye.

She placed a hoof around me and said, "Well stuff happens kid, we can't change that." Though her voice was a bit soft instead of confident. We stopped in front of an apartment building and she escorted me in. We took the elevator to her floor and stood in front of her door. She took out her key and opened the door. He apartment was very roomy, except for the giant mixer in the middle of her room.

"So that's where all your sexy creations come from. Sweet." I complimented. She blushed a bit.

"So uh, the guest room is over there, bathroom there, kitchen there if you're hungry." She explained. She walked over to a hanger and took off her shades, revealing a pair of crimson-red eyes. I took off my glasses revealing my pair of fully white eyes, even the pupil was white.

"How do you see with those?" She asked me.

"I just see." I explained.

I walked over to the couch but tripped and tumble onto her. We both fell, resulting with Vinyl on top of me. When she opened her confused looking eyes, I didn't want to stop looking at them. The ruby redness was enticing me. I inadvertently leaned in for a kiss, with her response almost immediately. It's official, this is the best day of my life.

Reality Check

"Alright, ROLL CALL!" Aaron screamed.

"Now characters, we always need to take a mid-story roll call to make sure we're not missing any- where's Prince?" I asked suddenly worried.

"Um...I actually don't know, maybe in the bathroom with his Playcolt collection...still need to find that." Starbass muttered.

Aaron ran to the bathroom but it was empty, well except for the half-used bottle of lotion.

"Hey has anyone seen Pearl?" A voice called out.

"WE LOST TWO? COME ON DAMMIT!" Aaron screamed in rage.

"Geez man, calm your titties, I saw them both at Gameclop for some new game release." The voice replied.

"Couldn't you say that five minutes ago?" I asked.

"It's hard to with your all-caps-rage you got going on there." The voice answered.

Aaron was in front of the Gameclop, but had no sign of Prince or Pearl.

"Oh wait it wasn't Gameclop, they were at Prince's house. The voice remembered.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-" Aaron screamed.

At Prince's house, they found Prince and Pearl making out while watching Titanic.

"Hey, that looks like a scene from Sanity Not Included!" Pinkie yelled out.

"Um, what?" I asked.

"Nothing silly!" Pinkie replied happily.

4th Wall Operating Base

"Sir, it was confirmed that the wall has cracked again!" A corporal panicked.

"I know, that confounded pink pony is trying to kill us all!" The general gritted in anger.

He punched a few buttons on the supercomputer and got a status check on the 4th wall.

Wall Strength:0.89

"One day, SHE WILL BE FREE!"

Some Wobbles

Sorry for not updating in a while, been really busy with school.

"Prince, be a homie and make me a Hamdrax please." I asked through the headset.

"Dude, I'm your best friend, not your Tewwawia bitch, make one yourself!" Prince replied.

"WELL GODDAMMIT I DUNNO HOW TO!" I screamed.

"Sweet Celestia, stop having your period!" Vinyl poked her head in.

[Pussy Whipped]

Quick intermission, remember my two consciences? Well:

[My conscience Inferno talks like this in bold]

{I respond to them like this}

"So uh, I'm gonna take a break, wanna meet me at the cafe?" I asked Prince.

"Sure...."

I took off the headset and walked over to my room.

"Alright, let's do this!" (Access Crib)

15 Minutes Later

[Definition of gay right there]

[Tickle my nickle you pickle]

{SHUTUP}

{Can I sit outside of a cafe for 1 minute without you two criticizing me!}

[Who the fuck says "Access Crib to change your appearance. Life isn't a damn video game!]

{Buck you to the moon}

"Hey Starbass!" Prince called.

"Ohai there." I replied.

"So how's life with Vinyl?"

[Heaven]

"Lemme put it like this, eight condoms." I boasted.

[Now subtract eight from that]

{Is it possible for you to shut the buck up for ten seconds?}

"Well, me and Pearl, er, converted your room into a gaming room, oh and you left these." He said tossing me a box full of all my porn.

[One gay foal bro]

"Hey Prince, can you uh turn around for a second." I asked. He followed the command. I then took my hoof, turned him back around, hoofed him in the face so that he flew up, and bucked him the foal giver.

[Testicular pony-slaughter bitch]

"OH FUCK WHAT THE HELL MAN SWEET BUCKING CELESTIA IT HUUUURTS!" Prince yelped in pain.

"So you wanted a mocha right?"

Gettin to Know Each Other

[My conscience Inferno talks like this in bold]

{I respond to them like this}

Prince and I were over at his house, playing some firefight in Halo:Equis. My consciences were asleep, thank Celestia, but I need something to make me rage, how do I wake them up?

{Wake up...WAKE UP... PORN MUTHAFUCKA!}

[WAH PORN!WHERE!]

{Shutup and help us out!}

[Show me the porn first.]

{Buck you bro, buck you with a stick}

"Starbass, need help ove-FUCK!"

"I'm comin-SHEEYIT!"

Prince and I looked in defeat as the in-game announcer yelled out "GAME OVER!"

"Well shit, I'm goin to Pearl's house." Prince said standing up.

"Heading to Vinyl's, wait, what day is today?"

"Somewhere in March, I think the fourteenth."

[MAREPOCALYPSE. BUCKING RUN!RUUUN!]

"Oh Celestia, barricade the house,it's that time of year again!" I screamed.

In ten minutes Prince and I boarded up the house and got the pistols out.

"Where'd you get these?" I asked.

"Got em when I used to sell drugs."

"Dafuq?"

"Where'd you get the golden pistol?" Prince asked.

"Got it when I used to be a pimp."

"Me gusta."

{Side of me that's asleep, wake up!}

[Marepocalypse man, shit's gonna go down]

Prince and I sat inside of the house bored outta our minds.

"So wanna know about the time I almost had sex with my sister?" I asked.

"You have a sister?" Prince asked.

"Long story short, she was hotter than my first girlfriend."

"Man your first girlfriend gave me the biggest boner." Prince confessed.

[There goes one puppy]

"Well one day.....

Flashback

"Starblaze! I'm home!" I called out through the front door of my house. Another day of high school done, she just faked being sick to skip her test.

"Starblaze, hello?" I asked with no response. My ears cringed from a giant snore coming from her room. I was glad she wasn't dead. I looked into her messy room, her IClop filled with messages a usual. She was different from me, we were in the same grade, same age, but she was more popular, I was more nerdy. Even though I should be resenting it, she's just so bucking sexy. I didn't notice myself still standing and staring at her unconscious body, and felt something peek out from it's sheath.

I looked down, "Oh shit!" I tried pushing it back up but I could rarely move with the wingboner i had.

"Huh! Wha?" Starblaze awoke.

"Ohai there, um this is awkward...." I said sheepisly.

"Were you staring at me? You bucking perv!" She yelled at me.

"I wasn't staring, I was gazing intently!" I protested.

"So what's that?" She asked pointing her hoof to my erection.

"Uh...proof that the gazing was succesful!"

She threw a dictionary at my face."GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM!" I ran...very fast.

Just sitting in mah room, playing some good ol' Shinecraft (REFERENCE). Starblaze walked into my room.

"What, any more books to fuck my face with?" I asked.

"Sorry about that, I took your phone, and seems that Pearl chick wants to go on a date with you." Starblaze grinned.

"Cool story br- YOU TOOK MY PHONE!" I screamed in rage.

"Dude, you got a boner from my sleeping, this is payback!" I snatched my phone from her hooves. I gawked at the text.

So uh, been wanting to ask you this for a while now... I just wanted to see if you could come with me for cake at the place Pinkie works...

"Finally! My life has meaning again!" I screamed in joy.

"Doesn't have meaning until you have sex!" Starblaze teased.

"Clopping is my life... though sex sounds legit..." I replied.

Back to Reality

"You didn't have sex until you were sixteen? Oh man that's priceless!" Prince laughed.

"You didn't have a girlfriend till she broke up with me! TWO WEEKS AGO!"

"Touche"

Flashback

"Just because you get laid every week, while I'm playing video games doesn't mean I have no life!" I argued with Starblaze.

"Read that last sentence again, then tell me you have a life." Starblaze countered.

"Touche"

"So I'm just gonna guess that since you watch so much porn that you know how sex works?" Starblaze questioned in a very teasing manner.

"Don't judge me, watch ponies bone is all the experience." I replied.

"You need to get fucking laid." Starblaze facehoofed.

Present Day

"So are you gonna get to the part involving sex or can I take a nap?" Prince asked.

"Don't rush, you gotta let the story flow............." I said calmly.

Flashback

Okay, since this story is a teen story, and I don't want to get complaints from bitchy kids parents saying that I gave them..."The Full Experience", I'm gonna make this as non....descriptive as I can.

So after Starblaze told Starbass to get laid, their cat Blinx ran up and accidentally tripped Starblaze. She then fell over onto Starbass. The tip of his (Me Gusta) was almost on her.... how do I put it.... (Hole of a thousand Treasures). He then got a raging (Bonfire). Starblaze had the idea of knocking the (11,000 Shits) out of Starbass. Then she slid down and accidentally entered his (Super Mario) into her (Green Pipe). She screamed in pain and tried to quickly get off. But then she slipped on her IClop and fell back down onto his (1-Up Mushroom).

Flashback

"Wait wait, you said almost had sex with your sister, not...."The Full Experience"." Prince remembered.

"Eh, who says Dj's can't lie? Besides she finally got off and beat me to the fucking moon. You know, before Mom got home.

"So where's you sister now?" Prince asked.

"She's a hooker."

So yeah, I had a really long ass abscence, that's beacuse my computer fucked up and I'm REALLY sorry, and I swaer I will keep trying to update or those loyal fans who kept hanging onto me. Except those dislike trolls, they can eat about 69 pounds of shit.

By the way, there is** a video game character reference in their, if someone can say the character and the two game's it's from, then the Almighty Chuck Norris will save you for last.**

Day Two....of Hell.

[My conscience Inferno speaks like this]

  {I reply like this}

Present Day

"How long does mating season last anyways?" I asked Prince.

"Um....like three days, so anyone that got caught are probably gonna get their brains fucked out for like 72 hours." He replied. We've been locked in his house for a day, and I was on the brink of insanity.

"Wanna go outside wearing protective armor?" I asked wanting to do something.

"Let's see I have MJOLNIR MK.VI armor, two Assault rifles, twenty condoms that I never used, two Magnums, four frag grenades and two Armor Lock modules." Prince showed me. I stared back at him wildly. "What? I know a guy."

So after putting on our body armor, and loading our weapons with pellets, you know, because we can't actually kill the mares, you think that I want no action on my dick? We picked up the grenades and walked out slowly, very slowly. The city was quiet, way to quiet. We suddenly saw a mare run into the street sniffing out and looking for a stallion. We galloped behind a concrete slab for cover.

"Damn, either the stallions are hiding or they're all in a BDSM chamber." I said quietly.

"On the count of three, we shoot her, one, two, THREE!" Prince yelled. We both jumped up the knock the fuck out of the mare, but stopped when we saw who it really was. It was Pearl, and she looked like she just found a gold mine. She galloped at us with the speed of a fucking jaguar.

"THAT'S MY GIRLFRIEND! DON'T SHOOT! DON'T SHOOT!" Prince screamed.

After that very loud interlude, about 5 other mares popped out and galloped at us.

"FUCK IT! SHOOOOOOOOT!" I screamed.

We shot, but we didn't shoot, we fucking shot the hell out of every mare that we saw. They're not dead...I think. After checking their pulses, and Prince getting a quick thrust on an unconscious one, we tried to run to a local store. We peered through a window. Three mares, one on the left, two on the right.

"Alright, on check, we fire, on three, one,.....two,........THREE, FUCK EM UP!." I screamed. We got more headshots than there were mares. "Raid the store, we need everything. EVERYTHING MAN, I'M FUCKING HUNGRY!" Prince yelled. We got everything, the pie, the apples, the pie, the crack, the pie, some random arrow with a knee attached to it.

"Okay, now we need to just get back to the house and we'll be good." I replied. "Prince?" I asked from the silence. An ear piercing scream follows. "STARBASS! THEY GOT ME, I DON'T WANNA GET A DILDO UP MY ASS, I DON'T WANNA!" Prince whined like a baby.

Ladies and gentleman, prepare your boners and wetness.

I galloped up and side kicked one of the mares into a wall, grabbed a mare and headbutted her into a coma. Then I grabbed the mare on Prince and pelvic-thrusted her into the Aetherlands. I grabbed Prince and helped him up. "I don't think I've ever been so thankful for a condom in my life." Prince said relieved.

"Wait, Prince? Where did you put our bag of pie?" I asked Prince at his house. "Um, I thought you got that." Prince replied. I had half the mind to knock the 69 shits out of him. "I'll be back." I said gritting through my teeth. I ran outside and galloped to the store before......

[MARE ON YOUR LEFT]

"Wha?" I asked before getting tackled to the ground. When I regained my vision, Vinyl was on top of me about to fuck me silly. I had three options, I could:

A. Beat the living shit out of her.

B. Fuck her before she fucks me.

C. FUS RO DAH!

I went with option B because i can't beat up my girlfriend, and I haven't mastered the power of the Thu'um. So I picked her up in my arms, damn this mare was light. Then I (OH MY GOD HERE IT COMES!) harnessed all of my pelvic energy and thrusted Vinyl to the moon, so at least Luna has company, besides, she'll come back later and beat my ass anyways.

I ran back into the store and picked up the bag of pie, and turned around to a crowd of sex-hungry mares.

"Prince, I fucking hate you." I muttered.

"I think Starbass is doing fine on his own." Prince said relaxed. You see, YOU SEE WHY I FUCKING HATE HIM!

[I wish I had a pony]

We both stared at Inferno like he was retarded.

"I have two words, Armor Lock." My Armor Lock module then activated, keeping me stationary but invincible from the mares that were repeatedly jumping on me. After a while the module deactivated but caused an EMP blast that stunned all the mares. In that moment I galloped back to Prince's house.

I busted through Prince's door angrily. "PRINCE!" I screamed.

"Wha? No mommy I don't want hay fries." Prince said waking from his slumber.

"Dickface, I swear to Celestia if I lost my penis you would owe me another one!" I yelled.

"Well I didn't know that you wanted me to take a bag too!" Prince countered.

"Why I oughta fucking! *Off Text Violence, Please stand by*

"So I hope that teaches you, that being a douche, is wrong." I said in my teaching voice.

[FIGHT THE POWA!]

{You guys are fucking violent.}

"I don't wanna be in this story anymore..." Prince whimpered in a corner.

"Shutup, next chapter's gonna have you favorite game in it anyways." I explained.

"LEISURE SUIT BARRY?" Prince screamed excited.

"No....the other one."

"Oh....that."

"Wait, where the bag of pie?" I asked.

"Didn't you say you used Armor Lock and ran out of there?" Prince reminded me.

"But that means I left the- FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"

[CKING PIECE]

Blocky Wonders

"IT'S TIME FOR ADVENTURE! IN MINECRAFT" Prince bellowed. We were still locked in his house for the last day of Mating Season.

"So um, you make a server, imma go take a piss." I commanded.

5 Minutes Later

"So this is our world huh? I DON'T FUCKING GET IT!" I screamed.

"I know right, where the hell is the water? Maybe a cave system too would be nice!" Prince complained.

"Ugh, just go break a tree or something, maybe we can build a house and a few tools.

15 Minutes Later

"Alright, built ourselves a fucking house!" Prince said happily.

"Aww yeah! Built myself a sword, and pick bitch!" I said in victory.

"Where's my sword and pick?" Prince asked.

"Up where the son don't shine asshole, this is revenge for yesterday."

"Prick..."Prince replied.

"I'm going mining, gonna get some coal and iron and shit." I told Prince.

"I'm gonna, get some food, before it get's dark out." Prince explained.

Prince's Viewpoint

"Alright now I need some pigs, chickens, and cows." Prince told himself. Prince spotted a small bunch of cows.

"Jackpot bitches." Prince went and murdered every cow, taking all their meat....jeez, this is like Burger King's worst nightmare.

"Prince then saw a fuckload of pigs and chickens, all about to become digital, pixelized meat, now this is just bacon and Colonel Sanders's worst nightmare. Prince got so caught up in killing each and every animal that he lost track of time. When he was done, he looked up and saw the moon, right in the middle of the sky. He then heard a hiss. "Son of a bitch!"

Starbass's Viewpoint

"Aww yeah! Found myself some fucking coal!"

"Fuck yeah! Found some iron!"

"Hellz yeah! Found myself some....oh shit it's gold......"

Starbass then mined some diamond. To imagine his reaction properly, start tickling yourself while laughing in a high-pitched voice. Then stop doing that and scream out in a deeper voice, "IT'S GLORIOUS!" Back to the story.

"I got my self some good ol' diamonds, now to find some obsidian." Starbass whistled to himself. What he didn't know, was that he was being followed. 2 Creepers, a Skeleton, 7 Spiders, 1 Giant Slime, 15 Silverfish, 5 Zombies, and 3 Enderman were on his trail. If he didn't make some diamond armor and a sword soon, he'd be fucked so far up the ass it'd come out his mouth.

"Hey! There's some lava, now I can use my water bucket to make obsidian, and mine it all to hell!" I fist pumped.

All the mobs were right behind Starbass, one of them literally taking his fuckstick out. But Starbass had a weapon, and he was about to use it.

"Oh hey guys, wanna see my Bass Cannon? Yes you say, okay, KICK IT!". I really can't describe the awesomeness of this moment as he fries every enemy to oblivion from the bass-boosted energy blasts of his Bass Cannon. The blue colored energy blast homed in on every enemy and killed each of them one by one. The blasts also hit the cave walls, completely shredding them from existence and revealing a whole village of diamonds. Starbass then powered off his Bass Cannon and blew on it saying, "Code that shit Notch."

Prince's Viewpoint

"Run! FUCKING RUN FASTER!" Prince screamed at his computer screen as he was being chased by the creepers.

"I guess this is the end, it was a good game." Prince said losing hope. "BUT WAIT! I STILL HAVE MY SECRET WEAPON! MY NOT-STOPPER! HUZZAH!" Prince fist-pumped. Prince then got into a running stance and screamed out "I CAN'T STOP!", a heavy bass dropped and he ran fast as hell through every mob, pushing them with great force out of his way. He didn't know however, that Starbass was coming in the same direction and him, and he was using the Bass Cannon as his rocket. The collision was gonna be so fucking close......

AND THEN! A CHICKEN GOT IN THE WAY OF THE BLAST! That was basically him saying, "FUCK MY LIFE!"

"So, how much diamond did you find?" Prince asked.

Starbass then showed him the ass load of diamonds he found.

"How much meat did you get?" I asked.

"So much it'd make KFC look like a bunny." Prince bragged showing off his meat acquirement.

"I think that was enough for today, I'm gonna....go......use that bottle of lotion...." Prince said ashamed.

"I'm gonna go, play some Dream Fortress 2." I replied.

"Um....isn't yesterday today now?" I asked.

Both of our eyes popped out of our heads. We then busted down the door in freedom.

"FREEEEEEDOM!" I screamed.

"I CAN FUCK AGAIN!" Prince screamed.

[HUZZAH!]

I quickly ran to Vinyl's house.

"Hello? Vinyl? You okay?" I asked.

"What happened? I woke up floating on the Moon and I had to form a bubble around my head or I would've died!"

I had three options here.

A. Tell the truth.

B. Lie like a pussy.

C. REPENT!

I just chose B.

"Um....maybe Luna wanted company?" I lied.

"Hmmmmm.............I must expand, but first, why is there pain where my...area is?" Vinyl asked.

"Period?" I replied in thought.

5 seconds later

Prince was at his house taking a crap. Then I crashed through the wall quoting, "I just took a bass drop to the knee." Then I blacked out.

Drunk Gamers

"Prince, can I borrow five bits? I wanna but the new Rainblower from the Dream Fortress Two update." I asked Prince.

"Um....I'm broke, I spent all of our money on those damn Scorched Keys to open the Scorched Crates." Prince cursed.

"So you have no money, and I have no money?" A grin started to spread across my face.

"Oh Celestia, you have that face again, I don't like that face, either somepony's getting fucked or you can see a mare in  the shower!" Prince worried.

"Oh, it's not that, that just means that we're GOING TO A CASINO!" I screamed in delight.

"MARGARITAS! WOO!" Prince screamed.

"But first." I said pulling out our pistols. "We rob a gas station."

"You should've seen the look on everypony's faces! That shit was priceless!" Prince laughed through his ski mask.

"I know right! Remember, PUT YOUR HANDS UP, ALL MARES TURN AROUND, JUST GIMME THE BITS AND NOBODY GETS FUCKED!" I laughed harder with each word.

"So, at least we can buy food and drinks. But now we go to the nearest casino!" Prince hollered!

"MARGARITAS!" I screamed.

"MARES!" Prince screamed.

"AND ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY NO CONDOMS!" We both screamed.

"Alright so here's how it's gonna go, I'm playing Blackjack, you use the slots." I explained to Prince.

"Got it." Prince understood.

So as I walked over to two ponies playing blackjack I saw a red pony sweating crazily and a brown pony wearing a vest that was calm and collected. The red pony drew, he got a twenty.

"Beat that Grim!" The pony fist pumped.

The brown pony drew. Blackjack.

"DAMNIT, THREE HUNDRED BITS DOWN THE DRAIN!" The red pony raged. He then got up, placed the bits on the counter, and stormed away.

"Hey, brown face, I wanna take you on! Loser buys the winner a margarita!" I taunted.

"Think that you got what it takes to beat me? I wanna see you try you crazy maned freaked.

"Oh it's fucking on." I replied.

"Like Donkey Kong."

Prince was on a damn winning streak. Triple Cherries and triple Lucky Sevens. He was making so much dough that he could've bought Starbass's sister for like, a week. Many ponies were in awe by his winning streak, he was so good that he owned everypony in Blackjack and Poker. A mare even asked him if he wanted to go out with her sometime. But like a true stallion, because he had a marefriend, he replied with, "FUCK YES! PEARL CAN SUCK ON THIS BITCH....so, do you like margaritas?" He said walking away with the mare.

Grim and I were neck and neck to winning the free margarita. Grim had a 19, and I was at 8. I doubled, 18, in a fast chance, I drew, 19, just for luck, I drew again, 22.

"FUCK!" I raged.

"So I'll take that margarita." Grim smirked.

"Fine." I mumbled.

So I bought Grim a margarita, and we sat down and talked.

"So, your name is Grim....Reaper? Your parents must've been dicks." I commented.

"Yeah, what about your parents? With hair like that you could just let hamsters live in there." Grim laughed.

"Go shove that margarita up your ass." I countered.

"Think you could take me in a match in a shot match? Winner get's free drinks all night." Grim challenged.

"I'll drink the fuck out of you, wait what the f-

Prince and his new mare were just living it up. Her name was Aurora Spectrum, and she was a unicorn. They were calmly drinking, but were getting wasted with each sip. Soon they were seeing the world like it was Pyrovision.

"Why is there a giant chocolate in front of me?" Prince slurred.

"Oh my Celestia, there's a sexy dandelion sitting in front of me, I wanna eat it....." Aurora imagined.

In about the next five seconds they were making out, then fell on Prince's house floor. What? You thought they were still at the bar, no they just took a shitload of drinks and walked to Prince's house. All I know is that they really got into it.....I don't really think that's where you put a OH MY CELESTIA THAT'S NASTY!

Grim and I were sipping the five shits out of every shot we took. Our visions were so blurry, I though the bartender was a giant cherry. Grim looked like he was about to puke so hard.(Prepare to be disgusted and laugh at the same time!)

Grim puked onto the bartender, then I did. Then I pulled out my pistol and started shooting like a madman screaming out "REPENT!"

Grim then started banging his head onto the table while screaming "MEDIC!MEDIC!MEDIC!"

It's like the whole damn world is one big Dream Fortress.

Drunk Gamers: Robbing

"But first, we rob a gas station."

"Alright Starbass, we're gonna go in, bust a few caps, then jet, alright?" Prince explained.

"Matters by how many ponies are in there." I replied.

"So what do you suppose we do? Drop em' on the ground and slap em with our dicks? We're two ponies, not the Korean army!" Prince countered.

I was thinking, two ponies, two pistols, innocent civilians, that EMP Blaster that Vinyl gave me for my birthday.....

"I GOT IT!" I fist pumped.

"We hold em' hostage!" I yelled

So here was the game plan, Prince was the Distraction, he went in and caused a scene to lure everypony over to him. I was the Main Man, when everyone was off their guard, I went in and took all the money from the register. If all else fails, I EMP the whole store, then we grab our pistols that we would leave under a bush. We would then tell them to drop on the ground, become our bitches, or feel some lead.

"Alrighty, this is the gas station?" I asked Prince as we walked up to the Ponyville Gas-n-Dash, damn, that place was huge.

"Yup, as long as we stick to the plan, nothing will fuck up." Prince was confident.

We hid our pistols under a nearby bush and started into the store. The place had like, 10 mini-aisles and a whole freezer section. I wonder how the beings from other dimensions put up with this bull. Prince walked over to the lighters, I walked up to the lotto area which was right next to the register. In a quick motion I nodded a Prince. He then ignited a light on his hoof.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! FUCKING SHIT! IT BURNS! HELP! I'M TRYING HARD AS FUCK NOT TO MAKE A RACIST JOKE! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Prince screamed. Everypony ran over to him while some looked for fire extinguishers. I ran over to the register and looked.

The register demanded a password. Damn, bitches have everything. Um, 6969? DENIED. 1234? DENIED. 1337 DENIED. 9876? DE-FUCKING-NIED! STOP TRYING, YOU SUCK PASSWORD BALLS! This was one cocky ass register.

"Hey! That pony's trying to get into the register!" A pony saw me. Well, time for Plan B. I pulled out my EMP blaster and shot up. The blast affected the entire store, all phones, lights, and electronics were disabled. Prince and I quickly ran out and ran back in. By the was, Prince's hoof was fine, he was just wearing a grey fur glove.

"Alright all you bitches! Anyone try to call the police or leave get's to have a fucking bullet to the head!" Prince yelled.

For my scream, I decided to just become an asshole."PUT YOUR HOOVES UP, ALL MARES TURN AROUND, JUST GIMME THE BITS AND NOBODY GETS FUCKED!"

"All but one mare turned around. It was Derpy. "Oh Derpy, I still remember the day we had sex after just meeting. You know, when I was still in the whole Stargaze phase."

"You fucked Derpy?" Prince asked.

"I've done a lot of things."

"Now Derpy, since you have the whole....eye thing going on, I'm gonna be different with you." I said in my sweetest voice.

"Really?" Derpy's eyes shined.

"No. NOW TURN THE FUCK AROUND!"

"Alright, I'm gonna ask you again, what the code to the damn register?" Prince pressed his gun to the cashier's head.

"Oh please, for the love of Celestia, I have a wife, two twin foals! I'll do anything! Just please don't kill me!" The cashier begged.

"Hmm, I guess I can spare all of you." Prince decided.

"We're gonna kill them all when we're done right?" I asked Prince.

"Oh yeah." Prince replied.

"So once again asshole, what the fucking password?" I asked the cashier.

"9696!" The cashier stuttered.

"You have a fucked up mind bro." Prince replied.

10,00 bits. What gas station has 10,000 FUCKING BITS!? NEXT TIME, WE'RE ROBBING THE BANK! So we got all the money, threw it in a sack, then brutally raped and murdered every mare, then shot all the stallions. Alright, what we REALLY did was knock them unconscious. They won't remember a thing. Except the fact that Prince actually did do one of the knocked out mares. Honestly, I don't know about the guy.

"You should've seen the look on everypony's faces! That shit was priceless!"

So that chapter was actually and event that occurs in the chapter, Drunk Gamers, so go check that out! Also, check out this new story I'm in. I play the character Aaron of course.

A Tale of......A Lot of Things

Name: Stargaze Inferno

Age:23

Occupation:Fast Food Worker

Race:Pegasus

My job sucks, I get paid minimum wage a month and my boss is a loon. But my pay helps me out with one thing in life, video games. It's all I do, just play like a boss. I just really hope that people would stop telling me to buy Cattlefield 3, it's all about Call of Cutie:Modern Warmare 3.

Name:Prince

Age:23

Occupation:Waiter

Race:Alicorn(But hides it in secret)

Horseback Steakhouse is pretty much like hell wrapped up in a bottle. You have to run back and forth trying to please everyone you see, and my boss is a creeper in clothes. My staff-members aren't forces to be reckoned with either. I just wish I could go home and play Mario Carriage for once people, ONCE!

6:00

"You ready Prince?" I asked through the headset.

"Hell yeah I am!" Prince replied.

"So, Drop Zone or Search?" I asked.

"Search, I haven't been the hero to save the team in a while." Prince answered braggingly.

"No dice buttercup." I replied annoyed.

6:15

"Come on Prince, everyone's dead, only you can kill him and disarm the bomb!" I screamed even though he couldn't hear me. I was watching the screen sweating frantically at the same time.

"No please Prince for dear Celestia don't go BACK THERE!" I screamed. But as if like a chain reaction went off, my words were caught by the sounds of gunfire followed by the ROUND LOSS.

"What a noob." One guy said.

"Yeah seriously, get some contacts before playing this game man." Another one said.

As the game ended, Prince and I decided to play a new game.

"How about Cutie's Row: The Third?"

"Sure." He replied

7:00

"One question, how much SHIT WAS IN THAT PLANE?" Prince asked confusingly.

"No questions, just shut up and shoot, I'll catch Shaundi!" I replied quickly.

For the next minute I was diving to Shaundi while this guy was shooting inaccurately everywhere.

"Where the hell are you shooting to, Luna?"

"I dunno, but all I know is that all the stuff on that plane cost more than the damage done at the Gala."

"Oh shut up." I replied.

Name:Pearl Shine

Age:22

Occupation:Cashier

Race:Unicorn

I was galloping quickly to my house to meet up with the guys on XCLOP. I rammed my door to my house open, placed down my saddlebag, grabbed my controller and headset, and pressed the power button. I was met with the familiar startup screen followed by the dashboard. I saw that both the guys were playing Cutie's Row and joined there party.

"Well guess who let the cat out of the bag!" Stargaze said jokingly.

"Can it blue-brain, or you won't get any of the cat in my bag!" I replied confidently.

"Owned." Prince commented.

So I see you guys are playing Cutie's Row, mind if I join in?" I asked.

"Only if you can tell this good for nothing twit to stop launching people." Stargaze replied.

"You gotta make use of the pre-order DLC man." Prince replied in protest.

"Or maybe we should play some Dream Fortress 2." I said slyly.

"You had me at should." Prince replied.

I facehoofed.

Port Forwarding

"So your telling me...that you can open ports and let us play a non-multiplayer games with multiplayer?" I asked Pearl.

"Yup." she replied.

"So while you work on that, Stargaze and I will be headin' off to Gameclop!" Prince came out of nowhere.

"Wait...we are?" I asked, but got cut short when he pulled me out of the house. We ran as quickly as we could, but I was no match for the grey stallion. His work in the food business gave him the upper-hand, I really need to work at Horseback with him.

"So you say I can run faster than you huh?" Prince asked.

"Wuh? How the hell did you hear my thoughts?" I asked confused.

"Well you see, when a male stallion and a female mare really like each other...."*10 minutes of that*.

"I think I've just been scarred for life." I shuddered.

"How? You're the one getting all of it from Pearl." Prince replied.

"No not at that, and how the hell do you know these things!?" I screamed a little too loudly starting a crowd.

"I'm just a beast." Prince whispered into my ear.

*HOOFSLAP*

Prince and I gazed at the masterpiece, the front cover copy of The Pony Scrolls V: Skyrim.

"Too bad it's not multiplayer." Prince said sadly.

"Did you not read the first sentence of this chapter! The viewers are gonna be pissed at your retardedness!" I yelled at Prince.

"Geez, you mad bro?" Prince asked.

"I'm going to buy the game, are you or what?" I asked annoyed.

"Yeah sure, or we could get this!" He said holding up a copy of a game donning five figures wearing advanced armor with one holding a minigun, one holding a sniper, one holding a pistol, and one holding a shotgun. The words "Halo: Equis" above them.

"Stargaze, where the hell are you?" Prince asked. He turned over the cover and found a note saying "Hell NO, NOW BUY SKYRIM AND AND GET YOUR ASS TO YOUR HOUSE!"

"I'm going to kill you." Prince growled while purchasing his game.

"I don't speak bird but....I got a DAMN GOOD TRANSLATOR FUS RO DAH DRAGON!" Prince screamed into his mic.

"Dammit Prince, that's the fifth enemy you've taken my kill from!" Pearl raged.

"Wait, where's Stargaze?" Prince asked.

"I dunno." Pearl replied.

"HOHOHO, MERRY BURNINHELLMAS!" I screamed riding in on a dragon.

"How the hell did you do that?" Pearl asked attentively.

"It's called hacks, LOOK IT UP!" I replied happily.

"FUS RO DAH!" Prince screamed, not ony killing my dragon, but killing me too.

"Damnit, I'm out."

"Me too." Pearl added.

"Wanna go have sex?" I asked

"Sure." She replied happily.

How About I Make It Clear

Killing me, you guys are killing me.

"First off, Pinkie, STOP BREAKING THE DAMN FOURTH WALL!" Aaron raged.

"Prince,Pearl,STOP EXCHANGING YOUR DAMN SALIVA!" Aaron continued.

"Starbass, GET SOME BADASS BACKGROUND MUSIC!" Aaron demanded.

"Alright bitches, listen up, we need to get something straight here, Aaron, that's me, is the author, the person writing this story is named Aaron!" Aaron explained.

"Starbass, is like the male version of Vinyl Scratch, he's damn awesome." Aaron continued.

"Well th-WHAP. Aaron hit him in the face with a textbook.

"SHUT UP!"

"Geez, you mad br-WHAP WHAP

"NO TALKING!"

"Now, I need recommendations, what can make this story better? Leave your comments, ideas, or anything in the comments. DO IT MAGGOTS, I'LL GET CHARGE ON YOU!"(Three of me v.s School Society Reference)

"I have an idea, GET LAID!" A voice called out. I pulled out a controller.

"You shouldn't have done that." Aaron said calmly. I pushed the red button, no one EVER pushes the red button.

"TACTICAL NUKE, INCOMING!" A military pony called out.

10

9

"Goodbye!"

8

7654321

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously though, I'm getting lazy, and my chapters are getting shorter, so pile up the ideas.

Breakin A Sweat

Finally, back to the plot! Also, I introduce a new concept into the story, it will play a major role and is reference from the story Three of Me vs. School Society

"When do we start this tour stuff again? I just bought Tewwewia(If you figure out this parody, I will deem you a god) and I want to play it with Prince!" I complained.

"Two weeks brother, besides, how did you buy Tewwawia when we had sex all last night? I mean damn we woke up the house next to us!" Vinyl replied.

Prince suddenly jerked up from his bed.

"I don't know, but I feel that Starbass had sex all last night....."

"That was all night, it felt like one hour." I said.

"I think your crotch got numb." Vinyl answered.

"Can we stop talking about this... seriously, describing it is wrong." I asked.

"Pussy!" Vinyl teased.

[OH YOU JUSS GOT PUSSY WHIPPED!]

"What was that?" I asked.

"What was what?" Vinyl asked.

"I heard a voice, sounded like my voice actually." I explained.

"Oh that must be your conscience! You're telling me you didn't notice your conscience?" Vinyl asked annoyed.

[Yeah who the hell doesn't realize for twenty-three years that they have a conscience? Clueless as fuck!]

"My consciences are assholes. Can I sell them?" I asked.

[Can I get a Playcolt magazine?]

"Dude, you're born with em, selling them would also get rid of your intelligence, and no intelligence equals no mares." Vinyl explained.

"Consciences can communicate with other consciences?" I asked.

"Yeah but ponies can't see any other consciences but theirs. I suddenly feel horny." Vinyl answered

"THEY'RE FUCKING!" I screamed out.

"One of my consciences said something about the other is talking to your evil conscience and now they're fucking, a lot of fucking in this chapter." I explained.

"Good, I thought you saw Lyra and Bon-Bon doing it on the street again." Vinyl said relieved.

"Anyways.....how do I communicate with them?" I asked.

"Think a statement, get answered." Vinyl explained.

"That's gonna break a damn sweat."