Delinquent Debutante

by Some Leech

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Queen Chrysalis, Random, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 4194

Celestia, in a bid to make amends, invites a very special somepony to a little gathering she organized.

Celestia has always considered herself a simple mare, in spite of her regal, demigod status, and there are few things that have brought her more joy than her dearest, most irate frenemy. Lingering outside a small gala she organized, she keeps her hooves crossed that her plus-one takes her carefully laid bait and joins her.

Artwork by DoodleMarkyMark (Twitter @DoodleMarkyMark)

If you want to help support me, I have a Tip-Jar/Patreon HERE

Published 2024-01-24 21:20:03 UTC
Last updated 2024-01-24 21:20:03 UTC

It Takes Two to Tango

Glancing behind herself and listening to the soft din of ponies chatting, music playing, and the sound of merriment from within the great hall of her castle, Celestia scrunched her snout and turned her eyes up to the starlit night sky. She wouldn’t be missed for too long - nevertheless, she knew she couldn’t dither about the entire evening outside in the courtyard. As she wandered toward the gate, beginning to genuinely wonder if her invitation would go unheeded, her ear flicked to what sounded like a barked order.

Without the slightest bit of hesitation, she took to the air and sailed to the nearest parapet. Sure enough, several members of the royal guard were staring into the distance while clutching their spears at the ready. On any other night, she would have applauded her centurions for their keen eyes and prudence, but this wasn’t any other night.

“Hold,” she ordered, extending her wings and peeked over her shoulder the armored ponies assembling around her.

She flitted back down to the courtyard and bit back a grin. It was faint, so small that she could scarcely make it out, but something - no, somepony was soaring toward the keep. Every pony in attendance that evening, regardless of whether they were a pegasi or not, had arrived via coach, a display of their affluence which kept their outfits neat and tidy, which meant one of two things: either her guest was about to arrive or there was some unexpected visitor on the way. It wasn’t until the silhouette drew nearer that her suspicions were confirmed.

It took everything she had not to show how excited she was - fortunately for her, she had several centuries of experience at concealing her true feelings. Save for her eyes, she remained motionless and watched as the figure landed directly before her. With a piercing emerald gaze, a hide as dark as midnight, and a fanged sneer on her face, the Queen of the changelings leered at her.

“I’m here,” Chrysalis grunted, staring daggers at her.

Celestia gave herself a moment to drink in the sight of her foe, awestruck by just how dashing she looked. With a flowing black gown accented with silver traceries and green gemstones to match her eyes, she was dressed immaculately. Whatever tailor had made the garment was skilled to the point where they may have been able to give somepony like Rarity a run for her bits, and clearly had an eye for fashion.

As she turned her back, Chrysalis’ wings shot from beneath two openings in the attire. “And now I’ll be leaving.”

Celestia rushed forward and snatched the hem of Chrysalis’ dress before she could abruptly depart. “That wasn’t the deal.”

With a look that could kill, Chrysalis whipped around, smacked her foreleg away, and prodded her in the chest. “Deal? The deal was that I’d make an appearance at this little gathering! You said nothing about -”

“An appearance at a gala is more than simply appearing to disappear immediately thereafter - for goodness’ sake, nopony’s even seen you,” Celestia pouted.

Chrysalis peered past her to what was likely an entire squadron of armed and heavily armored guards. “Your goons surely did…”
“They don’t count,” Celestia tutted as she trotted around to the grumpy but immaculately dressed Matriarch. “Come now, this won’t kill you.”

“Will it though?” Chrysalis countered. “For all I know, this is a trap, an elaborate scheme to capture me and -”

“And what?” Celestia laughed. “Ah, yes, the Queen of the Changelings, truly the pinnacle of her kind, will expire from a bit of socializing and refreshments.”

Taking a step forward and to one of the castle’s many entrances, a lesser-used side door that would avoid causing any immediate kerfuffle, she smiled. Chrysalis was right - well, at least partially right. She’d spent the better part of a month orchestrating this, ensuring the festivities would be quaint by Canterlot standards, and she’d done her homework.

She slowly continued onward, gradually creating a gap between herself and her regal guest, and didn’t look back. “There’s cake…”

There was a pause - a particularly long pause before Chrysalis spoke. “What kind…?”

“Oh there are many kinds,” Celestia answered. “Pistachio, cupcakes of at least a half-dozen varieties, baklava - then again, I don’t believe baklava qualifies as a cake.”

“Fine,” Chrysalis groaned, trotting up beside her. “One bite, then I’m going home.”

“Two bites, one presumably after the other, and a glass of punch,” she softly retorted.

With a frown plastered on her face, somehow managing to appear comely despite her sour expression, Chrysalis kept pace next to her. “If that means an end to this little game we’ve been playing, so be it.”

The corners of her lips turned up as she approached the door. Of all the victories she’d achieved over the millennia, this would forever have a special place in her heart. She’d convinced one of her oldest nemeses and largest threats to her kingdom to a gala - sure, there’d been a slight bit of coercion involved, but nothing had stopped Chrysalis from not showing up. She stopped and bowed by the entryway.

“After you…”

“Hmmph,” Chrysalis grunted, trotting in and past her.

Hastily entering, Celestia turned and motioned down the corridor. “It’s right this way.”

Leading the way, she had to reign herself in. Regardless of exactly what transpired or if Chrysalis would hastily depart, the next moments would be very, very interesting. Nopony save herself had the slightest idea that the biggest, baddest changeling in all of Equestria would be gracing their presence. Slowing as she approached the great hall, relishing the stunned look on the pair of guards flanking the entryway, she glanced back at her visitor.

“One moment,” she whispered, keeping her voice low. Chrysalis obliged, stopping in her tracks, but she didn’t look pleased about it. Trotting to and into the ballroom, she loudly cleared her throat. “Attention, everypony,” she loudly announced, falling just shy of using her royal canterlot voice. A hush fell over the chamber as everypony in attendance turned their attention to her. “I would like to introduce a very special guest this evening…”

She turned and looked expectantly to the hallway. A moment passed, then several moments more as ponies began to whisper amongst themselves. Without saying a word, she gracefully wheeled around and marched back back into the corridor. As she’d predicted and slightly to her relief, Chrysalis stood right where she’d left her.

“That’s your cue,” she giggled.

If Chrysalis could have rolled her eyes any harder, they may have leapt from her head - still, she stomped past her. Scrambling to pick up where she’d left off, she only barely made it through the threshold. The silence that greeted her when Chrysalis trotted up to her side was deafening. Nopony moved, nopony breathed, and every eye in the chamber lay squarely on the changeling.

“I know this mare needs no introduction,” she chuckled, reaching over and patting Chrysalis on the shoulder, “but I’d nonetheless like to present Queen Chrysalis, Matriarch of the changeling empire!”

Several ponies slowly backed away, a few choked on whatever they’d been eating or drinking, and one particularly terrified soul defenestrated himself through the nearest window - in short, the partygoers’ reaction could have been worse. Taking a step towards the refreshments, stopping herself, and then taking Chrysalis by one forehoof, she attempted to guide her invitee over to a table bedecked with refreshments - attempted in that the Queen didn’t budge.

“Continue your frivolities this instant, or I’ll give you a real reason to soil yourselves!” Chrysalis barked, slamming a hoof to the floor for good measure.

In the blink of an eye, after a second pony flung himself through an unshattered window, ponies started talking again. Just like that, she’d stolen the show. Ponies slipped glances at the irate matriarch, too fearful to look for too long, while they chatted about the newest attendee. Was this some sort of a joke? Who had invited Chrysalis? Why was there an infamous evildoer at a gala in the heart of the Equestrian empire? With every conspiratorial question Celestia heard, her smile grew broader.

Giving Chrysalis’ foreleg a light tug, Celestia was finally able to drag her guest over to the food. “See? They’re all freshly made and catered from the finest bakeries in Canterlot. I even -”

“Got these from Sugarcube corner,” Chrysalis interjected, igniting her horn and levitating a small, immaculately frosted cupcake into the air. “Oh to be a pony Princess with nigh inexhaustible coffers to fritter away on confectionery for unappreciative guests.”

“It’s not like I do this for all the parties,” Celestia remarked. “More often than not, it’s expected for guests to contribute for such engagements.”

Chrysalis peaked a brow and locked eyes with her. “In that case, I must excuse myself. I’d hate for -”

“There’s a reason why I catered this event,” Celestia interrupted.

Holding her gaze, Chrysalis grimaced. “Don’t tell me…”

“What you’re thinking is probably correct,” she smugly intoned, “but I’ll spare your hubris for the time being.”

Leaving the nebulous statement to hang, unwilling to directly answer unless directly asked, she hovered a plate over to herself, plucked a generous portion of sweets from the arrangements, and sidled over to a bowl brimming with punch. Pouring two cups of fruity beverage, she offered one over to Chrysalis.

Thus far, everything had gone according - no, better than she’d planned. Only two souls had fled from the party, the guards were behaving themselves, and Chrysalis was helping herself to a Princess sized helping of snacks. She’d freely admit that it was completely self-indulgent, but she hoped the relatively rare opportunity to socialize with a rival wouldn’t end before it really began.

She seated herself at the closest vacant table and magically pulled out the chair next to herself. “Got a seat right here for you.”

Tossing a bite of what looked to be brownie into her maw, Chrysalis strutted over and eased herself down. She’d never been the talkative type, not unless she was waxing poetic about some nefarious plot to conquer the world, but that was ok. So long as they could share a few peaceful moments, a bit of food, and maybe - just maybe a kind word or two, both their kingdoms could prosper.

Bringing a morsel to her snout, Chrysalis sniffed and recoiled. “Euch - what is this?”

“I believe that’s avocado cream on filo dough,” she replied, inspecting the bit of pastry.

“Avocado?” Chrysalis spat, sending the offending bite across the room and into a trash bin. “Disgusting. Who in the world dare to make such a foul dessert? Avocado is hardly a fruit and is only suitable for guacamole.”

“Anph it’s gooph on hayburfurs,” Celesita added through a mouthful of brownie.

Chrysalis sneered as she lifted a miniature muffin from her plate. “Has nopony ever taught you not to speak with your mouth full? Honestly, I’m -”

“Queen Chrysalis?!” a voice blared, drawing both Celestia and Chrysalis’ attention over to one side.

Adorned in a shirt and vest, Shining Armor bared his teeth and lowered his horn at the changeling - fortunately for everypony in the immediate area, a crisis was averted when his wife stepped between him and the Queen. Cadance, unlike her husband, looked more confused than enraged. Looking back and forth between Celestia and the ne’er-do-well, the Princess of Love cocked her head to the side.

Hastfully swallowing and washing down the morsel with a drink of her punch, Celestia unseated herself. “Cadance, Shining, it’s so good to see you!”

“Celestia,” Shining muttered, not taking his eyes off Chrysalis.

Cadance trotted forward and gave Celestia a warm, albeit fleeting hug. “Sorry we’re late, Flurry was extra fussy…”

“It’s quite alright,” Celestia demurely responded. Shuffling over and waving to Chrysalis, she smirked. “As you can see, we have -”

“Yeah, I see,” Shining growled, cutting her off.

“Shining,” Cadance sighed, placing a forehoof on his chest, “I’m sure there’s a perfectly good explanation for this. There is an explanation for this ~ right?”

Seeing Cadance shoot her a pleading, hopeful look, Celestia cleared her throat. “If nothing else but in the name of geniality, I thought it would be considerate to invite Chrysalis to this little soiree.”

Shining lifted his head, if only just, while the power bled from his blazing horn. “Is that true…?”

Laughing and shaking her head, Chrysalis stood and strode over. “It’s true enough. Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and Prince Shining Armor, what a pleasant surprise to see you two again…”

Instead of lambasting the pair or launching into some trite diatribe about how she’d nearly ruined the couple’s wedding, she did something Celestia would never have guessed. Trotting forward, she briefly embraced Cadance before backing away and offering a forehoof to Shining. Of all the things she could have done, this was by far the most jarring - so much so that neither Princesses could fully process what was happening.

“Shining,” Chrysalis continued, keeping her foreleg outstretched. “I trust you’ve moved past the little debacle at your nuptial…”

Shining looked the Queen up and down, doubtlessly looking for even the slightest sign of deception. In truth, he didn’t have too much to be worried about. Aside from the unimaginable arcane might of the two Princesses present, there was an entire platoon of guards on duty - in short, Chrysalis was outnumbered, arguably outclassed, and would have to be a complete and utter lunatic to try anything remotely threatening. Celestia watched in abject awe as the two shook hooves and nodded to one another.

“You’ll forgive me if I don’t accept the apology,” Shining snorted.

Flipping her mane from her face, Chrysalis returned to her seat. “Understandable. In time, you may find forgiveness in your heart.”

There’d been very, very few moments in Celestia’s life when she found herself at a loss for words, but darned if this wasn’t one of them. She would have been overjoyed if Chrysalis and the royal couple simply ended up scowling at each other until one or both parties departed, yet they were being cordial - admittedly only because of her presence, yet the fact remained that they weren’t attacking or chiding one another! Glancing over at Cadance and seeing that her fellow Princess was no less shocked than herself, she turned and went back to her chair.

“There’s room for two more, should you wish to join us,” she noted, waving to the empty seats opposite her and Chrysalis.

Cadance was the first to sit down, awkwardly clearing her throat as her husband joined her. “Soooo, Chrysalis, how have you - um - been?”

“Awful -” Chrysalis groused, “dreadful even. This spat between Celestia and myself has - What?”

Snickering to himself, Shining dismissively waved a forehoof. “I heard about parts of it.”

Chrysalis squinted over at him as one of her eyelids twitched. “As I was saying, it’s high time the pettiness between Celestia and I come to an end. Disputes between our kingdoms is one thing, but it’s quite another to deal with the ever-present threat of having an alicorn meddling in my personal business.”

“W…well, I’m glad you two are working it out,” Cadance warily asserted.

Leveling her focus at the clearly uncomfortable mare sitting across from her, Chrysalis grinned. “As for your daughter - Flurry, if memory serves, you mentioned her being fussy?”

“What about her…?” Cadance hissed, her expression and tone becoming remarkably more hostile at the mention of her foal.

Chrysalis reclined and stole a brownie bit from Celestia’s place. “Having raised hundreds of grubs myself, I’m painfully aware of how needy they can be at such a young age. In my experience, finding some way to wear them out is the most surefire way to ensure a proper night’s sleep.”

“Are…are you empathizing with me?” Cadance croaked, askance.

“Irrespective of our differences, we’re both mothers ~ are we not?” Chrysalis pressed. “My swarm is my lifeblood and there’s nothing - nothing I wouldn’t do to ensure their survival.”

“I…I don’t…” Cadance trailed off.

Celestia was just as astonished as Cadance, if not more so. With just a few sentences, Chrysalis had displayed an unfathomable amount of compassion and tangentially justified her actions for her foiled invasion of Canterlot years prior. As she picked up and nibbled a piece of pastry, she tried to think of something - anything to lighten the mood.

Pushing herself up, Cadance pinched the bridge of her snout. “I need a drink. Shining, do you want a drink?”

Shining joined his wife, standing while he looked down at Chrysalis with an unreadable expression. He didn’t look happy, but his indignation appeared to have waned substantially. With one foreleg over Cadance’s shoulders, he turned his lover away, took a step, and paused to look back.

“Thanks for having us, Celestia,” he murmured. With an unreadable expression, he swung his eyes over to Chrysalis and gave a faint, almost imperceptible nod. “Behave yourself…”

Dipping her head, Chrysalis peeked up at him. “No promises, but know that you, your wife, and your child will come to no harm from my hoof.”

The couple departed, leaving Celestia with her thoughts and her guest. Had that really just happened? Chrysalis, the same Chrysalis who’d been a bane to Equestria for centuries, had just said something nice. Unable to control herself and cautiously optimistic that the display hadn’t been a ruse, she reached over and stroked the changeling’s shoulder.

“That was very kind of you,” she hummed.

Chrysalis shrugged off her hoof and glared over at her. “In what way? All I did was state the obvious, that one’s child or children are of utmost importance.”

Smiling broadly, wishing for nothing more than to continue the conversation but wary to dig too deeply into the subject of benevolence, she pointed to one of the snacks on her plate. “You should try these, by the way.”

“What is it?” Chrysalis inquired, eyeing the bite-sized portion.

“It’s a little blackberry cheesecake,” Celestia explained.

“Are you trying to offend me?” Chrysalis scoffed. “First the avocado abomination, now you’re offering me blackberry cheesecake! Let me guess, it’s because my hide is black and my porous legs?”

Celestia giggled then outright laughed as she shook her head. “No, I - I’m sorry,” she croaked, trying and failing to contain her mirth. “I wasn’t expecting that. To answer your question, no, it has nothing to do with you; I simply thought you might enjoy it.”

Levitating the morsel to and into her maw, Chrysalis chewed a single time. Her eyes went wide, she stiffened, and you could practically see the wheels turning as the flavors blossomed on her palate. Celestia held her breath, keeping her hooves crossed that the reaction wasn’t one of disgust, until the second miniature cheesecake floated from her plate.

There were few things in life more satisfying than getting to see somepony enjoy a new experience - doubly so when said somepony was an enemy. Content to let her eat, Celestia hummed contentedly to herself. This was nice, far nicer than the periodic conflicts that erupted between them, and she relished every second of it.

Waiting until Chrysalis was nearly finished with the second bite, she rested her chin on one forehoof. “So what manner of delectables are served at changeling engagements?”

“Nothing as opulent as this,” Chrysalis lamented. “The badlands aren’t exactly renowned for ingredients or resources of any kind for that matter, but we make do with what we have. More often than not, fruits and berries foraged from the surrounding area are the best we get. I could - Keep staring and see what happens, you simpleton!”

Following Chrysalis’ gaze, Celestia looked over to a nearby table of nobles and waved a wing, doing what she could to console them. “They’re not hurting anypony.”

“They’re staring,” Chrysalis seethed.

“Why wouldn’t they?” Celestia asked, seizing the moment. “While I wouldn’t admit it to anypony, and I’d deny it if you ever mentioned it, you’re the only one here who was bold enough to out-dress me.”

“Your attempts at flattery will get you nowhere,” Chrysalis grumbled, averting her gaze as a slight green crept into her cheeks.

“Is it flattery if it’s the truth?” Celestia mused. “By the way, what are those? Jade?”

Chrysalis glanced down at her dress and one of the stones set above her chest. “Tourmaline. It’s more common than emerald and easier to work with - at least that’s what the lapidary told me.”

Tilting her head, Celestia knit her brow. “Lapidary? Is that your jeweler’s name?”

“It’s a profession,” Chrysalis flatly replied. “I’m a bit shocked that you haven’t heard of them.”

“Can’t expect a pony, even one as old as you or I, to know everything,” Celestia chuckled.

Chrysalis nodded sagely and selected another tiny dessert to try. “I’ll grant you that. As much as it pains me to confess it, there are still things that elude me.”

“Like how good blackberry cheesecake is?” Celestia purred.

The barest trace of a smile graced Chrysalis’s lips as she continued looking down at her plate. “Just so. Tell me, now that I’m reasonably certain that you’re not attempting to poison me, are there any particularly succulent items on the menu you’d recommend? While the tastes of a Princess may not meet the expectations of a Queen, they’re all I have to rely on given the current circumstances…”

“But of course!” Celestia chirped, getting to her hooves. “If you’re in no hurry, I would be happy to answer all your pastry-related questions and I could even get you a few recipes from the chefs.”

Following suit, Chrysalis followed her back to the table of sweets and hors d'oeuvres. She took her time and pointed out several of her favorites, explaining to the Queen what they were and going so far as to give a brief history lesson on a few, until they both returned to their seats with full plates and new snacks to try. Comments and questions turned into conversations, terse at times but genuine conversations all the same, while seconds passed into minutes and longer still.

By the time the gala began to draw to a close, she was nothing short of delighted. Be it from a miracle, fate, or pure dumb luck, her exchange with Chrysalis hadn’t just been peaceful - it had been enjoyable. Standing at her guest’s side, she watched as the Queen lifted the corners of the tablecloth on the refreshment table.

“I’m taking these,” Chrysalis grunted. “Don’t try to stop me.”

“Wouldn’t you rather have a take-out box?” Celestia sighed, wincing as all the treats were jumbled together in a makeshift bindle.

Grunting as she threw the sack over her shoulder and onto her back, Chrysalis shook her head. “No need.”

Celestia lifted a hoof and opened her mouth but quickly closed it as Chrysalis trotted past her and to one of the shattered windows. The party was over, everypony was headed to their homes, and she’d be lying if she said she was happy that things were coming to an end. Keeping pace with her visitor, she sighed.

“Must we keep doing this?” she quietly implored.

Glancing over at her, Chrysalis extended her wings. “Doing what exactly?”

“This,” Celestia muttered. “Chrysalis, there’s so much we could give each other. I’m well aware of changelings’ parasitic nature, but surely - surely there could be a way for us to find peace.”

Chrysalis shifted and looked her dead in the eye. “You know that’s not possible. There’s too much bad blood between our kingdoms for that to happen even if I wanted it to…”

“We could change that,” Celestia urged. “I know it couldn’t be something that transpired overnight, but…”

Hanging her head, Chrysalis solemnly shook her head. “I’m…I’m too weary to have this talk. Socializing for such a protracted time has left me drained, this dress is uncomfortable, and I may be on the verge of a diabetic coma.”

“I understand,” Celestia breathed. “See you soon…?”

Chrysalis smirked and gave a mirthless laugh. “Like I have any say in the matter.”

Gripped by an unstoppable compulsion, Celestia darted in, pecked Chrysalis’ faintly blushing cheek, and teleported to the confines of her bedchamber. The bittersweet departure rested on her tongue while a heaviness hung on her heart. There would have been no good way to say goodbye, but she liked to think that the fleeting kiss would cap things off on a high note for the both of them.

She trotted to her window and stopped as a figure flitted into the sky and away from the castle. Truth be told, she was tired from the long day and the weeks of anxiety that had led up to the gala, but it had been worth it - stars above, it had been worth it. Chrysalis’ visit had gone off wondrously and it had given her something she hadn’t felt in a long, long time - it gave her hope for a brighter future…