Why is the horse blue

by scrungusbungus

Rating: mature
Tags: Spike, Comedy, Violence, Princess Celestia, Sex, Human, Twilight Sparkle, Princess Luna, Anon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance
Length: 13604

An HIE / Anon story with a Medieval twist, with Moonbutt Romance. A Medieval Anon wakes up in the Everfree, wondering why there's a Blue Horse in his dreams, and a Purple one staring at him.

Anondus, once a mere Peasant Farmer, now a steeled Man-At-Arms to a local lord whose name he can't quite remember, from a village he... also can't really remember. Traveling with the rest of his Warband to... somewhere, where someone needed a good old-fashioned year long siege, probably. Well, until he took a nap while on watch. That's about all he can recall.

This definitely wasn't the forest he dozed off in, though. He remembered that much. And that Damn Dog.

But why was the horse blue?

Published 2024-01-27 19:20:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-01-29 09:32:14 UTC

Epilogue - Man-At-Harmony

Anondus stirs, Garlik licking his face.

He blinks several times, pushing himself off the ground, glancing around in a panic.

He's back in the forest, the mangy mutt of a hunting dog staring at him, panting.

"Oh fuck no-"

Anondus, the Royal Consort
Anondus practically launches upright, the blankets flying off of him in a cold sweat, panting. He feels his face--no dog drool. He looks around himself. A dark, candlelit bedroom of impressive stonework and high ceilings, with his Mistresses gorgeous artwork on the walls. Thick, double-coated curtains keep even the slightest hint of the sunlight out of the windows, to allow the Princess of the Night her fair sleep.

Beside him, the Blorse stirs, mumbling as she flits in and out of slumber from his movements.
"...mrm...is everything alright, our champion..?"

A big sigh of relief escapes Anondus, eyes roaming to the silver ring on his ring-finger, the radiant deep-blue gem sat atop it visible even in the dark.

The soft chill of the room brushes his bare skin, urging him to return to the warm comforts of a wife-warmed bed.

Wiping his face of sweat, he grabs the blankets, pulling them back up and over himself and his lover as he nestles back into the sizable royal bed.

Arms wrap around his fluffy Mistress, pulling her back into her little-spoon position, her wings softly rubbing his bare stomach. The ring on the base of her horn softly glints in the candlelight.
"Yeah, pretty damn good." He whispers back, kissing her behind the ear. She knickers softly, giggling, before nuzzling closer, sleep slowly returning to them both.

Fuck that Damn Dog.

Prologue - Damn Dog

"Garlik!"

A shout carries through the dense, midsummer woods, the golden glow of evening peppering through the canopy and splashing the untrodden grass below.

"Garlik, you little shit-- Come here!"

Another shout, its source roughly pushing itself out of a particularly thick bush.

"Gar--fuck!"

A heavy thump, as its foot catches on a particularly prominent root, tumbling to the ground in a clatter of spear and chainmail. The owner of said foot remains on the ground, a low, droning sigh escaping it as it accepts its temporary, if embarrassing fate.

From the other side of the bush, back the way it came, another voice, deeper and more commanding, calls out.

"You find that damn dog yet?" It questions bluntly.

The sigh gets heavier.

No, Anondus hadn't found the damn dog yet.

Garlik, one of the Hunting dogs owned by his Lord, had picked a scent, gotten loose of its lead, and beelined it out of the Warcamp and off the path, deeper into the woods - barking all the while. Anondus, simply in the wrong place at the wrong time, was the closest on sentry duty Man-At-Arms near that edge of the camp. Orders overidden, he was sent to plunge into the woods and commanded to go after it. Right as his shift was about to rotate, too. Bastard, find your own dog.

You'd think such a noisy creature would be easy to follow, but distant barking told Anondus that Garlik had no intention of stopping just yet, whatever had its attention had it firmly. Probably a deer. Fox? Who cared.

"Fucks sake." Anondus mutters, pausing to lean against a nearby tree, rummaging out his waterskin to whet his parched lips. The dogs taunting barks still touched his ears, ever getting farther away.

He uses it as a moment to take stock that he hadn't lost anything--not that he tripped a few more times or anything, trudging through all this underbrush. Forbid the thought.

Annoying but appreciated chainmail? Of course, Check.
Gambeson underneath it? Kept him warm, kept him happy. Check.
Spear? Thing gave him two splinters since he got it a week ago from the Stockmaster. Anondus has since wrapped it in some old leather he nicked from the Smithy. Check.
Wooden roundshield? Crudely painted the same red as his tabard, currently dangling off his back. Check.
Crimson tabard depicting a mockery of a Boar, imagery of his Lord? Definitely used, if the singular spear-tip sized hole and faded (Poorly Washed) blood stain was anything to go by. Check.
Boots that don't have a hole in them? Cost him a few more coins than he wanted, but Check.
Kettlehelm? He'd used this thing as a bowl more times then he could ever be forced to admit. Check.
Fathers old sword?
...
Yeah, still there, strapped to his hip. His free hand fondly rubs its thumb over the pommel.

Plugging his waterskin again, Anondus groans, pushing off his momentary respite as he trudges deeper. At least they'd left him to the task, so they weren't breathing down his neck the whole time.

Yeah, he was lost. And tired. And sore.

The barking had stopped probably an hour ago, and the light started going soon after. Following where it had been to the best of his ability... which wasn't much, if at all, the damn dog was still gone. Anondus was the son of a Farmer, not a Hunter, and basic tracking wasn't even considered. Hell, the only reason that he even looked down being those foot-snatching roots.

No dog, not sure which way to go... even if he wanted to go back--which he did-- he didn't have the dog, and he had no idea where the Camp was. His shoulders slump as a huff escapes the tired Anondus, legs aching. He'd been roughing these woods for hours, leaves and broken twigs sticking out of his mail in all matter of ways.

Yeah, fuck the dog. He was done.

Anondus, having been using his spear as a walking stick, finally lowers himself onto a convenient log, splaying out his legs as he lets out a long sigh, deflating. Distant grasshoppers chirp, the forest around him getting a lot darker by the minute, the orange glow gone and replaced by the dark, blue-tinted starry sky above. The moon would probably rear above the canopy soon, too. He catches himself staring upwards for a little too long, before grunting and reaching back to rub the back of his neck. His eyelids grew heavy, the woods peaceful.

"I'll just... take a short rest." He convinces himself, stifling a yawn.
Just a quick sit, then he'd get up and probably... climb a tree, steal a nap in its branches. Yeah, that was a good plan. He'd do... that. Right as he got up.

Or he would have, if he didn't start snoring, head lolled to the side, leaning against his spear.

Chapter 1 - Blorse

He knew it was a dream. He knew, because he relived it often. Though, he didn't know it every time.

A muddied grassland battlefield in the middle of the day, blood seeping into dirt, arrows whizzing by overhead. A cool wind blowing over his back, and the smell of iron on its fringes.

His first battle. The small scar on the corner of his lip tingled.

Men emblazoned in crimson tabards marked with boars were throwing themselves at men garbed similarly, but in emerald that displayed a snake.

Shield walls clashed as spears and other polearms were jabbed over, under--any gap would find steel in but a moment. Men, filthy in sweat, mud and blood, teeth gritted as they pushed against each other. It was a uniform battle, though temporary.

Distantly, cavalry from each side rounded to break the stalemate, in the classic Hammer-Anvil fashion; though their companies never reached, a lucky spear finding an unlucky man. He tumbles, flaring up the adrenaline of the men beside. They begin to abandon defense, taking aggressive and opportunistic swings at the opening, dropping their own shields. This spike ebbs through the lines, and in but a moment, it reaches Anondus' section; and the messy reality of battle comes crashing down, as men charge, lines are trampled, and blood is drawn.

Men tumble to the dirt, trying to jab each-other with pointed ends to pass their armor.

The distant call for arrows to be knocked can be heard.

The trampling sound of hooves grows closer.

Hundreds of men, stumbling, clashing, steel sparking amidst gurgles, shouts and screams. Sword and shield in hand, his spear already broken, Anondus was one of them, his windpipe already raw.

Princess Luna, Diarch of Equestria

To any who could see Princess Luna in the castle, it was like she wasn't even present. Physically, sure... but her eyes were a solid white, wide and looking to the distance, unto the sky. Sat comfortably upon her moon-marked seat, Canterlots Throne Room remained primarily empty, mind for the Thestral guards in their traditional, somewhat threatening armor, who occupied its entrances. And a lone maid, sweeping.

The Moon was risen some hours ago, as was Luna; though she wasn't always the quickest to rise, she handled her daily duty without failure, though was seemingly eager to dive back into the Dreamscape. Night Court wasn't for another hour, after all.

To grant the Ponies of Equestria good dreams and safety from nightmares, was Lunas prized duty. One she held even higher than her duties of Night Court, or whatever other... fledgling power her sister slowly dripfed her following her rather boistrous. While she had been accepted back, and granted her status, the world was... a lot different than it was a thousand years ago. It was a slow, hard process... and Princess Luna was hardly the socialite, and the Dreamscape welcomed her as it always did.

To her, the Throneroom was a distant ambience, like a foggy mirror. She sat atop a swirling mass of stars and nebulas, looking down over a vague geographical match of Equestria, and even some of the lands beyond. It hardly operated like a true map, more a... vague emulation of her feelings. Dreamwalking was like opening her emotions to the lands around her, to mingle and understand. Roughly above each little sleepy pony on the 'map', variably colored bubbles floated. The manifestations of dreams. Depending on the color, the type or quality of dream. Only Luna truly understood every type, but... she tended to avoid the Pink ones. She didn't like how often they involved her sister. She outright avoided Dreamwalking on the night following Hearts and Hooves day.

For this night, the Ponies were doing well. With little trouble in the last few months, her visit to the Dreamscape was a quiet one. An overworked Colt fearful of failure and a Filly afraid of the dark aside, she had little to do thus far.

Oh. A red one. A deeply red one.

Luna leaned closer, the Dreamscape itself shifting to bring the map closer to her, and the swirling stars she sat upon closer to it.

She hadn't seen ones like these since... before her banishment. The sore feeling of that topic was dulled by the oddity of it. Red were nightmares, deep red was... violent. Ponies did not typically dream of such violence in this age, she found, thanks to her sisters work. Gryphons, sure, but not her sisters little ponies. Though... it also seemed faded. It was hard to focus on, like its dreamer was drifting in and out of consciousness.

...Odd. The Everfree? The only dreaming occupant she knew of, following her befriending of the Twilight Sparkle, and the other Elements of Harmony, was the Zebra, though she could not remember its name.

No... this was near the Castle of the Two Sisters. This proved partially worrying, Though perhaps the location explained the severity of the nightmare. While she had no intent to return physically... it was her duty to check upon this nightmare.

Curiosity piqued, her horn taps the edge of the bubbling crimson cloud, as Princess Luna pulls herself inside the nightmare.

Anondus, second son of Nonny

Normally, Anondus was right in the thick of it, when he had this dream. Slippery grip on his blade, sweat making his clothes stick close and uncomfortable, ears ringing. But not this time. This time, it was... like the battle was happening around him.

The charge came, the thunderous impacts of hooves on dirt roiled forth--the emerald-garb cavalry were being intercepted by the crimson, splitting their charge between the infantry and the other cavalry, to devastating results, knocking riders off horses or sending infantrymen sprawling. As horses and their riders charged past, Anondus found the line around him had devolved into a number of smaller scale fights, backstabs, tackles, gang-ups and showdowns... again, like there was a five-foot gap around himself where none dared subconsciously tread.

After the charge, this is where... that brute and him faced off. The scar on his lip tingles again. But nobody emerges from the crowded battlefield to confront him, no matter how much he twists about, eyes scanning the mass combat.

But through the thick of the battle, its like the quarreling mess of war... parts, almost, for something, a soft glow emanating past several of the men, his eyes finally catching the disturbance. It was like it was... out of focus, blurry even. Andonus had difficulty seeing it, squinting at it as he tried to see it clearly. The focus seemed to shift, the light becoming easier to see, as the battle around him became harder to garner details from.

A... riderless horse. Wait, was that a horse? It wasn't shaped right. Or sized right. Were those... wings?

Why was it blue?

He could feel his blade and his shield slowly slip from his grasp, squelching into the mud by his feet; the sounds of combat around him seemed to dull and grow distant, his racing heart slowing to a steadier pace.

A creature of a brilliant, deep blue, with a mottled near-black flank. Its mane and tail, a blue-purple mix, flowed and swirled with constellations, like the night sky itself had been trapped within. Large, feathery wings stretched from its back, presenting itself with... what seemed like an air of regality.

Shorter than any adult horse he'd seen, its eyes, a near enchanting azure, reached his collarbone. Was that a horn, too? Mixing every mythological horse creature he ever heard about into one. Very original, dreams.

It approaches, stepping through the laden mud; though none seems to stick to it. Nothing around it seems to react to it, though Anondus can still hear the odd, ever-distant yell or clash of steel.

It stops a few feet from him, raising its neck and standing proud. Its large eyes slowly move up and down his battledressed form, seeming to take Anondus in the same way he just did to it. Did it just nod in approval? To him, or his armor? Andondus can barely weigh the question before their eyes lock.

A short silence.

It wings slowly furl to its side, and it whinnies, pointing its nose out at Anondus.

Its a gesture that tickles a memory, as Anondus remembers the old Mare that he grew up riding and working with on the farm. Butterbell. Sweet old thing, ate apples right out of his hand, and always let him pet it. His siblings weren't so lucky. A shire that helped with the farmwork. Maybe his dreams missed home. Anondus had been away a while.

Fairly aware of his dreamlike situation, and curious about his dreams reasons for conjuring a short, blue and oddly shaped horse... now mentally dubbed the 'Blorse', in front of him... he shrugged, stepped forward, and offered a closed hand towards its nose. Better then catching a sword to his mouth, like the status quo for this dream.

The horse frowns, chuffing at his hand, and squints at him. Seems it had some personality.

Anondus remembered he's wearing gloves. Yeah, bloody gloves might not be a great introductory smell.

"One second." Anondus mutters, peeling off the sweaty mitt, electing another eyebrow raise from the Blorse, as he offers another closed fist, now without material between their greeting.

It just looks between him and his hand.

"Good enough." The ill-trained and spoiled by a singular horse Anondus mutters, opening his hand and taking a step towards the Blorse. Its eyes widen as it prepares to step back, but it wasn't expecting Anondus' sudden approach. The distance is closed, and his palm slowly slides across the side of its snout. Wow. Soft.

His other hand touches the Blorses side, sliding up onto its back. Also soft. Surprisingly fluffy, for a horse. His right hand roams up its side, settling on its back, beginning to stroke fingers along the spine--taking care to avoid the wings. Anondus didn't know how Blorses worked, and he wasn't touching those, or the Horn.

Though, he might not end up having a choice, as the wings spread out, one of them softly slapping against his chest as it drags out to a limp extension.

On initial contact, the Blorse had frozen solid, its eyes wide. But as his hand ran along its face, and up to the base of its ears, Anondus began to slowly scratch, just like how Butterbell liked it.

A slow, purring whinny escaped the Blorse, as it seemed to melt in his hands. Alright, that works.

Now that he was standing to its side, Anondus could see the... Butt Tattoo? He snorts, which seems to snap the Blorse out of its daze for a moment, its wings snapping to its side oncemore. Same as the odd chestpiece the Blorse had, it was a simplified moon on its ass. Probably both flanks. Must be the familial design for a Noble House he saw in passing, though none came to mind. The weird necklace thing, sure, but painting your horses ass was a comical way to brag. Maybe if he was ever a noble, through some luck amidst his campaign--if he ever found the Dog and the Warcamp again--he'd do that to his horses.

Now out of its daze, the Blorse eyed Anondus suspiciously, as if it was trying to gauge his intent. It was likely supposed to be a hard glare, but the way it kept having to steady itself to not melt from his affections, its legs threatening to buckle every few moments.

...This thing. Hang on.
Anondus leans close, right up to the side of its face. Its eyes widen again, as Anondus sniffs, several times, huffing the air. Why did the Blorse smell... sweet? Like a flower garden?

"This is one weird dream..." Anondus mutters, glancing around. Most of the battle has fallen out of focus at this point, though he had to admit, this was a much more enjoyable outcome. Normally by this point, he'd be on his ass, clutching his bleeding face in shock.

Instead, he's stroking the ears and neck of a... blue horse unicorn pegasus.
"Blorcornasus." He mutters, smiling softly. It seems to pay no mind to his nickname.

His fingers trace the ear, rubbing the inside and outside, working up to the tip. His other hand, curious, spreads his fingers and softly runs up the Blorcornasus' neck, into its distracting mane. It was... oddly cool to the touch, but soft, in a different way. Like a not-fur way, a... smooth soft. Weird.

Anondus blinks out of his self-curated distraction, and looks down at the Blorse again. Its eyes are half-shut, and he could swear its smiling. Its wings fidget in place, showing a little more restraint than before.

What was this thing, anyway? A guy or a girl? The colors, mane, shape and size made him want to say female... but he hadn't seen too many horses. Should check to be sure. Tapping on the base of its neck, Anondus leans down, squinting at its underbelly.

No balls. Blorse is a she.

Leaning back up, Blorse seems to have snapped out of it again--now double taking between looking at Anondus, and where he'd just been glancing, with a concerned scowl. It pulls out of his grasp, trotting back and to the side by several paces--now it seems to be sizing him up, huffing, wings flaring out in a cautionary flap. Normally, an upset horse might be a worrying sight, for those with the foresight to avoid getting kicked or bit. Unfortunately, Anondus lacked both experience, and common sense, not that he'd ever admit it.

He can barely begin his next sentence before it lowers its head, and stomps its hoof. A chuff escapes its nostrils. Blorses wings flap, and it launches forward, Horn first.

Though it might not have been made for such a purpose; chainmail wasn't big on large pokey things getting through it. And to the Blorses surprise, Anondus wasn't a particular slouch in holding the line against charges; not that he perceived this act even as aggressive. Horses kick when they're upset, not headbutt. Anondus barely slid back, before smiling.

"Playful thing, aren't you? Kind of wish I had my own steed, like you. Probably get some weird looks though, considering." He smiles, reaching down.

The Blorse realizes too late that all its done is move itself within range of Anondus' hands, eyes wide in fear.

Princess Luna, the Defeated

Luna gasps as she blinks out of the Dreamscape entirely, the white in her eyes gone as her vision refocuses into the Canterlot Throneroom. The startled noise alerts the pair of closest Thestrals, who take a cautionary step towards their princess in concern.
"Princess?"
"Everything alright?"

The Princesses breathing is heavy and staggered. Fine a moment ago, she's already sweating.

"Princess, the Night Court begins in a few mom-" One of the Thestrals tries to continue, before a blue blur leaps from its throne, twists in place, and darts for the doors deeper to the Castle.

"Holdthecourtweshaltreturnsoon!" She yells back, quickly growing distant. The two Thestrals share a concerned look, but, leave the Princess to her... situation, returning to their station.

She barrels down the halls. She could probably teleport, or fly, but her mind was far too overstimulated for complex thought. The night halls are much emptier than the day halls, and without interruption, Luna barrels into her room, the door slamming shut behind her.

She stands in a braced, shivering stance, legs spread as she stares forward.

HE TOUCHED HER HORN!

And the rest of her! Her back, her neck, face, nose, mane, WINGS!

A deep blush was quickly settling on the Princess' face, hooves tapping the spartan floors of her room as she paced in place.

"We did not even BUDGE him! And all that wretched fool did was SMILE--"
A vision of the strange creatures teeth, pointed... carnivores teeth? It flashes across her mind, and a shiver runs down her back. She wasn't comfortable trying to decide just what kind of shiver that was. While not a familiar form, she could easily recognize armor. Well-forged armor... a knight, of some sort? The blush deepened. The Princess' rampant imagination was becoming a bigger enemy than her very memory of the dream.

"We are not like this. We do not... fluster, under such simple impulse!"
She was the staunch Princess of the Night, the hardened opposite to her sisters bright and soft day.

"To ignore us, and... DEBASE US!" Princess Luna hisses, her range of pacing now practically just circling her entire room. Her ears flicked as she recounted each way he, he...

She stomps her hoof, the clack snapping her out of it before her mind wanders further. That creature was amidst such a bloody nightmare. How could she have forgotten that? It must have been a monster. A beast, that revels only in battle.

But then why was it so... calm, when she arrived to its nightmare?

A scowl sits on her face. Perhaps a warrior like herself, which didn't bode well.
"A perverse beast, it must be--to forgo the bloodshed surrounding it, and seek such... PERVERSE findings upon ourself!" She continues to tirade, having made her way to her personal weaponsrack. A magic glow surrounds each weapon as she plucks each, trying to decide what best to use to rend that creature asunder. She must consider how her horn did little--dreamstate or not, she could not pierce his hide, and must avoid being in reach of his... her ears flicker, imagining his hand running up the bottom of her neck, scratching her chin.

She snorts, shaking herself out of it again, deciding on an oversized poleaxe, and a firm scowl to suit it.

A thousand years alone, was already a difficult task that bore loneliness to the soul. And even after, her sister and hers relationship, while improving, did not bear the same affection it once had. And to think herself so weak, that the mere petting of... wait.

She thinks of the rest of the creatures dream. Those other...

Her nostrils flare, eyes widen. Wings flash open to their fullest, and she chuffs loudly. They were RIDING those things! They looked close to a pony. Not quite, not nearly as colorful... but she understood now. Those... saddles! Pony dominators! SLAVERS! It had tried to do the same to her, to lure her in!

Having had her moment of reflection, a brilliant blue light throws open her bedroom doors again, her senses regained. This was a battle for her, and her alone; her sister would not know. She would find this creature--creatures even, if she must, and demolish them, to ensure they never get their grubby... claws? Like the Spikes limbs, but softer. Faust, they were sof--NO!

"WE ARE THE NIGHT!" She shakes her head, throwing such corruptive thoughts from her mind. She would find what she could of these creatures, and DESTROY them. A passing maid startled as Princess Luna blasted past, leaning on her cart as she caught her breath.

Anondus, Blorsicornagus Dominator

Anondus snorts awake, eyes flickering open. Drool ran down his face, and--oh, that was not a good feeling for his back. He passed out on the log, half-slumped over and hanging onto his spear. He felt tingly all over, and checked his hands to see if any of the blue rubbed off on him. Simple, self-insertable colored palms stared back at him. Guess not.

Slowly he stands, planting a fist against his lower back and stretching, hoping to work out the deeply-laden kink.

Upside, he wasn't eaten in the night. Downside, he wishes he was, so he wouldn't be the hungry one right now. The Woods weren't particularly dangerous, but still, he could have put himself less in the open.

"Man, what a dream though." Anondus mumbles through chapped lips, plucking his waterskin again, softly reminiscing on how he got the Blorse to drop to a sit when he plucked its horn from his chainmail. That was... weird. In a funny way.

"Good to know my imagination still works, considering its all I have to keep me company out here." He continues, taking a slow draw from it. As he turns to look around, a slow frown settles on the young Anondus. No, it wasn't just that the trees were larger than normal, or that he seemed to have transitioned from a boreal forest to much more humid, almost swampy area... what did he mean, to keep him company? Why was he here?

A bead of cautious sweat runs down his temple, indiscernible from worry, or a byproduct from his brain running too hot. Did he sleepwalk? But from where? To where? Why was he... He looks down, noting his armor, though it doesn't spur any memory. Everything's here. But...

Anondus spots several mushrooms around the log he'd passed out on. Of course! Fae circle. Had to be the Fae--oh, his Mother told him to keep away from mushroom circles.

...Well, time to find the way out of this Fae-realm.

"Garlik!" Anondus shouts, before pausing.

Why? What was he--oh, that Damn Dog. That's right. Unspared from that particular memory, his hands cup his mouth again.

"...Garlik!" He calls out, leaning once more on his spear, blazing onward, with no foresight to the fury of a particular Moon-Princess that was aimed his way.

Chapter 2 - Befuddled

Princess Celestia, Diarch of Equestria

A platter of earthy-scented tea slowly floats towards her snout, the cup lifting so she can enjoy its aroma.

Princess Celestia, the once Monarch, now Diarch, Princess of the Sun, was deeply enjoying her breakfast. Truthfully, the food in front of her wasn't the source -- though she was certain her little ponies went above and beyond -- but for this day, it was the liveliest that Princess Luna had been, since her return. She'd barely lost the spring in her step from holding her section of the night, and even as breakfast was rounding out, it seemed she still had mounds of energy to burn, if her echoed and distant shouting was anything to go by.

Princess Celestia wasn't quite sure... what Princess Luna was going on about, but her fervor for the topic brought a smile to the Sun Goddesses once-worried face.

And a frown to her nephews, who buried his face in his hooves.
"Auntie--"
"Yes, Prince Blueblood?"
"Must Aunt Luna--"
"I believe she must, if the urgency in her tone is to be believed."
His eyes trail to the pile of weapons assorted to where her Breakfast used to be. Princess Celestia follow shortly, but it only elects a giggle.
"Auntie, she kept me up all night!"
"Like you don't do that to yourself with that Marefriend of yours?" Celestia tosses a raised eyebrow from behind her cup of tea, sipping softly. Blueblood stiffens, managing a cough.
"I suppose, Auntie... we all have our... nights."
"As we do, Prince Blueblood, as we--"

The dining room doors burst open, presenting Princess Luna, fully dressed in outdated Midnight-Themed battle armor, trailed by a Thestral guard with some hefty bags under his eyes. Several weapons, mostly polearms, are awkwardly strapped to his back, and several more float behind Luna in a semi-circle, grasped tightly by her magics.

"SISTER!" The midnight colored pony shouts, rattling most of the silverware with her voice.

Celestia seems to have forgotten just how deep the royal armory seems to run, but nonetheless smiles when she sees her sister.
"Yes, Luna?"
"WE RIDE FOR BATTLE! IF THOU SHALT NOT SEE US THIS EVENING..."
"I'll see you in the Morning, Luna. Go have your fun." Celestia giggled, waving her sister away with a hoof. Not that Luna needed permission, but Celestia had offered to take a few of her nights duties so Luna could spend more time in this... valiant hunt. Luna apparently had quite the interaction during her dreamwalking, and seeks to conquer a particularly nasty Nightmare. Her dedication to her role was heartwarming.

Of course, Lunas version of events, with some information withheld for her own sake, didn't quite translate the full effect, though neither quite seemed to pick up on that.

Nodding furiously, Luna charges off for her room, to gather her strength for the morrows battle. The Thestral guards legs buckle, and he slumps straight down onto his belly, legs in every direction as weapons clatter off his back.
"...Your service to the crowns is, as always, deeply appreciated, Midnight Light." Celestia says behind a soft smile.
"...Ever eager to serve." The Thestral manages to utter, sighing.

Princess Luna, The Overconfident

Luna barreled into her room, slamming the doors shut. Thick curtains keep her sisters sun out, the room dark mind for a pair or blue-flame candles near her bed.

The variety of glowing weapons she'd been carrying clatters to the floor as she releases them, diving into her bed. Despite her flamboyant declaration of a war March, she had been up all night. First, she would sleep. Then, she would pinpoint that creatures dreams, hunt them down, and eviscerated them for Equestrias sake. None else must be... exposed, and traumatized, to those nubbed claws.

Those... dextrous, lithe, agile...
She shakes her head violently, helmet flying off her head as she dives under the covers. This was her burden, her duty. She would bear the scars from this creature, to spare the rest of pony kind from them.

She had even sent ahead a letter of warning to the Twilight Sparkle, alerting her sisters precious student of the proximity of the creature, though she assured the young student that it would be dealt with.

Now, her trial... to beat these thoughts off amidst her slumber. The Princess surrenders to the longing for sleep, curling up in the dark. She shivers as her thoughts drift, snorting. Then, snoring.

Anondus, enjoyer of Midday Naps

A meager yawn escapes Anondus, as he enjoys his peaceful walk, unaware of how often he skirts danger. He'd stopped calling for Garlik at this point, which was also well timed. Prowling Timberwolves, poison joke--Ignorance is bliss, and in Anondus' case, safety, as if some higher entity guided his path.

Up until he finds another upturned log, laid amidst moss in a small glade.
"Oh, scoreth. A divine spot."

Slumping against the log, his supplies tumble beside himself as Anondus sighs, relaxing against its surprisingly squishy surface. He'd found a particularly crisp river earlier, so his waterskin was refilled, but it didn't solve his 'being lost' problem.

The odd flower and mushroom grew around this little glade, but as Anondus checked, thankfully none of them in a circle. The log was a welcome comfort. It had him start thinking about moss blankets--up until he was snoring.

Princess Luna, the Ambushed

While Luna could dreamwalk during her own sleep, few creatures that lived under the Equestrian banner found the day to be the time to rest. So, she resorted to her own, as she often did.

Even amidst the temptations, the Princess of the Night was in full control of her own dreams. Here, she would plan against the beast, conjuring its shape to best find how to defeat it, on her own terms. Her own arena, her own machinations.

Though... this looks an awful lot like that Nightmare the creature had the other night. No matter, she'll simply think of somewhere else.

Somewhere. Else.

Ah, one of Canterlots local Cafe, the Belated Bellow. A quaint location open late, perfect for the rare morning Luna wanted to get out and treat herself to their Blueberry Tarts. She is alone... the Cafe, empty, the worker, busy, the streets, empty. Not quite what she envisioned, but perhaps she needed more time to relax.

She sighs dreamily, inhaling the sweet aroma of the freshly baked--

Her eyes snap open as an offending scent takes its place. Sat across from her is the creature, with a dumb expression plastered across its stupid face. She tenses, wings flaring out defensively. Remove it, Luna. She squints, focusing -- IT WOULD NOT IMPEDE HER DREAM! SHE WAS STRONGER!

Anondus, the mostly confused

Huh, new dream. Funky. Some kind of city, but the buildings were smaller. Fancy castle, though. Looks like it could withstand a good few months of siege.

When Anondus opened his eyes, he'd been pleasantly surprised to find he wasn't thrust deep in his usual dreams. A little odd, with how quiet it was--but he was even more surprised to find he had company. The Blorse was back, seemingly engrossed in... smelling baked goods on a plate in front of itself.
"...And I thought it was weird the last time." He mumbles--which seems to startle the Blorse, snapping it out of its stupor. It glares at him, snorting loudly before it shuts its eyes, hard enough that Anondus sees a vein start to bulge.

He reaches over the table, one hand helping himself to one of its baked treats, the other scratching the top of its snout.

The table thuds and the plate rattles as the Blorses head drops onto it like a sack of potatoes, a soft purr escaping it. This thing was just putty for pets. Cute.

Tart--the Blueberry kind, apparently, and rather tasty at that--half-hanging out of his mouth, Anondus starts scratching both of its cheeks, the deep blue fur rustling and bristling under the rather careless strokes and scratches. If it could turn into a puddle, the Blorse probably would, with the noises this thing was making. A mix between a purr, a whinny and a growl. Its wings were twitching, and it was leaning against the table, smushing itself against the wooden surface to try and lean further into the affection, radiant eyes glazed and staring into the distance... then they rolled back into its head, alright.... oh, now they're locked onto Anondus. And they stayed there.

For a long time. The rest of the dream... didn't really get any better for the poor Princess. Or, it did. Depends on perspective. Definitely got further, though; Anondus had never seen a horse react like that to a backscratch.

Man, was she soft though.

Twilight Sparkle, Element of Autism

Buried deep in a fort crafted of tomes and books, Twilight Sparkle used her horn to illuminate the pages as her tired eyes slowly scrawled a most fascinating read; 'Mane Kampf'. By A.Colt Hoofler. A Unicorn that informed how one could best ply their Unicorns horned heritage over their fellow Pegasus and Earth ponies... he had some interesting ideas. She'd have to talk to Princess Celestia about--

The doors to her study burst open as Spike practically scrambles in, hoisting up a scroll into the air.
"Spike!" Twilights head bursts out from under a few of the books, her magic lowering them to the ground.
"I told you, no kicking open doors!"

Spike wiggles the scroll in the face, her eyes crossing to try and focus on it.
"Sorry, Twi--but this ones from Luna!"

That sentence alone forgave any prior upset, the purple unicorns eyes widening in excitement. She exchanged letters all the time with Celestia, but Luna?! She practically tore it open, the pair leaning in to gauge its contents. Perhaps, a royal summons... or Celestia was sick, and Luna had to take over! Or, maybe she wanted to take TWILIGHT AS A PUPIL TOO!

...

"...Creature in the Everfree?" She trails off re-reading the last few lines. A little dissapointing, but the curiosity kept her rapt interest.
"Aren't there always creatures in the Everfree? Like, not the ones that live there, but like, the ones that end up being problems?" Spike asks, turning his attention to Twilight, a pang of worry in his voice.

Twilight purses her lips, rolling the scroll back up. The other Elements were indisposed at the moment, dragged away by obligations; she could maybe convince Apple jack... no, she could do this alone. The protection of Ponyville, even without the other Elements, meant she just had to be careful.
"It'll be alright, Spike. Help me pack a saddlebag. I'm going to speak to Zecora, and see if she's seen the creature. If Luna herself is writing about it, then I want to at least be on top of things."

Spike relented, the two taking a moment to tidy up, and prepare a travel bag. Mostly, Spike cleaned up the slowly collapsing bookfort, and Twilight made more of a mess preparing as she dug things out from under piles to shove into her bags, but such was hardly new. The worried muttering didn't do much to help his mood, but, Twilight seemed confident at least.

Locking the Library behind them, with Spike sat on her back, Twilight trots through Ponyville, towards the outskirts of the Everfree.

Chapter 3 - Not Edible

Well, Zecora had been the plan.

Right up until Twilight and Spike stumbled on what they could only guess to be... The Creature. A slumped, snoring Bipedal tucked under armor that was similar to what the royal guards used, but with more cloth, and far less regality. It seemed more protective, though those were all observations made from a distance, from inside a bush.

Spike and Twilight tucked in its branches, they observed the creature as it clung to its spear, head lolling around, sighing contently.
"Twilight... what is it?" Spike whispers.
"Luna described it as a most dangerous foe, something that could very well enslave ponykind whole!" Twilight repeats, remembering the verbosity that the words had been scrawled down with. Slowly sliding her bag off and to the side, beside Spike, she lifts one of the bushes branches, getting a clearer view.

"Twilight, what are you--"
"Stay here Spike. If we can catch it while its sleeping, we might be able to subvert its plans. Without the other Elements, we need to play it smart." Twilight whispers, slowly pressing out of the brush and into the glade.

"It's play it safe!" Spike hisses in worry, eyes glued to the creature as Twilight creeps towards it, her horn glowing softly.

Anondus, Bane of Tranquility

Ugh... well, that was surprisingly one of his better naps. He wondered if it was because of this particularly squishy log, or the way that Blorse had--

He blinks a few times, groaning as he sits up. A foot from him, frozen stock still and staring with wide eyes, was another brightly colored horse. Was he still dreaming?

Rubbing at his eyes doesn't seem to help, and a pinch of his own cheek only elicits a slight tilt from the horse, and a stinging cheek for himself.

Well, he dreams of Blorse, and wakes to... Plorse? The thing was almost entirely purple, with a purple mane split by... more purple. He sensed a particularly pastel theme, here.

Anondus could see another one of those silly butt pictures on this one, too; but no wings. Horn was still there.
He mumbles to himself under his breath about their odd features, shifting his weight to lean on his spear, pushing himself to a stand. The purple creatures big, amethyst eyes are locked to his face, and its pupils shrink as he reaches full height.

Man, this things head only came up to his waist. Made him wonder if Blorse was big, or if this one was small. Riding was definitely out of the question for the smaller ones. Maybe he could get a saddle for the blue one... though the wings might be in the way.

The quesiton of whether or not this thing was related to Blorse floated around in his noggin, before leaning forward and waving a finger vaguely at the little thing, trying to illicit a response in a similar manner he had the blue one.

What that did get, was its horn to start glowing brighter, the little purple horse bracing its legs in a wider stance as it snaps out of whatever trance it was in. Really bright, like the glow that was permeating around it was starting to focus on the tip. Too bright, Anondus squints. Lets not have that.

He leans down, and flicks the tip of its horn--a zap of harmless energy running through his finger, making his hand tingly.

This, however, was equivalent to setting off a flashbang in front of the poor things face. It stumbles back and lands on its rump, eyes wide and in a daze as the glow around its horn sputters and spurts, dropping sparks before flickering out, leaving Anondus with a dazed, drooling, Plorse.

Yeah, fuck it, Plorse works.

Already familiar with how these things work thanks to Blorse, he leans his spear against the log, leans down, and scoops the thing up by the underbelly. Despite their size, they were a lot lighter than he expected. This one wasn't as soft as Blorse, and a little less fluffy. The thought of this one lacking in self-care was an amusing thought he pushed away for the moment.

Just before placing it on his lap, he lifts it up, catching a glance underneath.

No balls.

Curiosity sated, he settles the Plorse on his lap, and begins to softly scratch it behind the ears, stifling another yawn with his other hand. The ears twitched in recognition, but whatever shorted the thing out from his flick still kept the purple horse dazed.

Thats when Anondus feels something pushing on his leg. He leans, glancing down at his left foot.

Fat, little purple lizard. It slowly removes its mouth from his boot, staring up.

If Anondus were a superstitious man, he might decry it a wyrmling or such terrible thing. However, Anondus was on a cutestreak--and this thing had a funny little potbelly. He leans down and pokes its belly, electing some strange noises out of it; sounded like giggles to him. Weird, but cute; kind of like everything else so far. At this point, Anondus found it easier to just roll with whatever was going on, instead of going mad trying to establish some semblance of reality. Things would explain themselves one way or another.

With the same pokey hand, he scoops the lizard, placing it beside the purple pony as he scratches at some of the spines on the lizards back.

This continues for some time, the Lizard adorably pacified and now draped across his thigh, the purple horse slowly drawing back in to reality.

It blinks a few times, glancing around, confused--before its torso twitches, tilts its head, and subconsciously leans into a particularly deep neckscratch. Little purple horse was surprisingly tense.

They didn't seem to melt quite like the Blorse did, but this seemed an effective method for most denizens thus far. The purple one seems to be mentally returned again, though is... she muttering to herself? The little collection of quiet horse noises was pretty amusing.

Anondus' wonderings of just how many colorful little horse things there were was interrupted, as purple horse hopped down off his lap, turning to look at the little dragon.

"Alright, Spike; come on. I'm glad he's friendly, so far, but I don't want you just laying on him the whole time."

"Aw." Anondus and Spike huff at the same time.

Both the little creatures eyes widen, looking up at Anondus.

"...What?" He questions, offering a brow to be raised.

"YOU CAN SPEAK?!" The purple horse shouts. Wow, loud that one.

"I was gonna ask the same thing, actually. I don't know any horses that can do that." Anon answers, returning the funny little fat lizard to the ground as he stands.

"W-Hey! I'm not a Whorse! A-and don't say that kind of stuff in front of Spike!" Twilight retorts, a deep but offended blush sinking across her face. "And don't flick my HORN!"

"What? I mean... I get it, you don't really look like one, but I don't know what else to call you?" Anondus offers with a shrug. "And uh, sorry. Primal urge."
He looks down to the funny lizard.
"Spike, huh? You speak too?"

'Spike' nods. "Uh... yeah. Hey."
"Hey. I'm Anondus." Anondus nods, offering a fist. Spike slowly meets it, seeming to warm up to one of the only also-handed creatures in the area.

The purple coughs to get their attention, standing tall.
"You can call me Twilight Sparkle; I'm a Pony. A Unicorn, and the student of Princess Celestia! We were warned by Princess Luna that you might try to conquer the Ponies, so I'm going to ask you once."

She takes a bold step closer, squinting.
"Are you trying to enslave Ponykind? Threaten Equestria? Bring ruin to Harmony?!" She continues, voice rising with each accusation, her tail flicking about.

Anondus shrugs. "I don't even know what that is. I'm just trying to find Garlik."

Twilight shares a glance with Spike, the dramatic flair of the moment deflating rapidly.
"The... plant?"
"Oh, no, a dog. The Lord I serve sent me to find him, and he's a pain in the ass. The dog too."

Twilight seems to stew on this, muttering to herself.
"...You said something about Princesses?" Anon asks in the meantime.
Spike nods. "Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, of the Sun and Moon. Rulers of Equestria."

"And that's... here?" Anondus asks, pointing at the ground.
"Mhm." Spike nods again.

"...Is one of them Blue?" Anon pushes, curious. This catches both their attention, as they share a glance, before looking to Anondus.

"Yes, Princess Luna is bl--you didn't hurt Princess Luna, did you?!" Twilight stutters out in alarm.
"Huh? Oh, no, I keep seeing her in my dreams. Funny butt picture of a moon, hair that looks like stars. Also LOVES getting pet, especially right between the wings. Didn't know she could talk, though; hasn't said much to me yet."

Twilight processes this, hiding a smaller blush and clearing her throat.
"One; they're not 'Funny Butt Pictures', they're Cutie Marks." She says, turning to present hers to Anondus proudly.

"Oh, cool. So... paint? Tattoo?" Anondus gesticulates, making vague motions with his hands, spear leant against his shoulder.

Twilight sighs.
"No. When a Pony is a Filly or a Foal, they get their Cutie Marks as they grow up, helping them decide their life path."

Anondus seems confused.
"Get them from where?"

"You don't get a Cutie Mark from somewhere, it just appears! Typically after a particular situation that imbibes the young Pony with motivation for the future, but the results can vary!" She continues; seems the more comfortable she gets, the more... wordy, this one gets. A smart type, like a Scribe. Or a... nerd.

"Like... Magic?" Anon asks, floating the idea out, even though he finds the option... incredulous. Then again, these could be little Fae fuckers--

"Exactly!" The little purple horse says, practically beaming, like that was some kind of answer.

Anondus groans. Of course. Fae creatures. Thankfully, not very devious so far, but he was ready to pet himself out of getting twisted into a deal that would steal his firstborn at any moment.

"Wait... so why hasn't Princess Luna talked to you, if she's appeared in your dreams?" Twilight asks, tilting her head.
"Dunno. Blorse--or, uh... Princess Luna, didn't seem the talkative type." Things with their eyes rolled that far back in their head typically didn't get up to much talking.
"...Blorse?" Twilight prods.
"Oh, Blue Horse. Though, I guess that'd be Blue Pony now." Anondus muses in his infinite nicknaming wisdom, tapping a finger against his lips. A 'snrrk' escapes him. "B'loney. Like Balogna." He decides, looking to the two for approval. His stomach growled at the thought of something to eat, actually. He missed Supper from his Watch rotation, and didn't have anything on him to munch down on now. Well... no, he wasn't going to eat the funny lizard or the purple ho--pony. The idea of eating something that could speak weirded him out.

Twilight glances at his stomach as it sounds its discomfort. Spike takes a generous step towards Twilight.
"...What's Balogna?" Spike asks quietly.
"Oh, right. You're a H--Pony." He corrects quickly, starting to catch on. "You probably eat like... Hay and stuff." Anondus muses.
"Well, we eat more than that, but, you would be leaning towards being correct." Twilight affirms.
"Gems, for me." Spike adds.
Huh, it eats rocks. All sorts gathered here.

"It's slices of uh... cow, or something. Tasty stuff." Anondus imparts.

Both stare at him with wide eyes.
"You... eat meat?" Twilight eventually mutters, not sure if she wants the answer.
"Yep." Anondus affirms, scratching his nose.

"...Do you want to eat me?" Twilight asks, slowly, after a long pause.
Anondus frowns, snorting and firing back with a "Buy me dinner first, Buttsparkle."
"What? No, do you--oh, you mea--hey! That is not what I meant!" She retorts, stumbling through her words.
"But like, actually, do you have something I can eat? I'm pretty hungry." Anondus continues, ignoring, but enjoying her fluster.
"...Yes, BUT! No meat. You have to promise. For now." Twilight warns, trying to err to a compromise. She knew Griffins and some other species ate meat... but, she still wanted to be safe and make sure that Pony wasn't one of the things on his menu. It'd be good to get this 'Anondus' under watch, maybe contained at the Library until the Princesses could assist... but she didn't want to needlessly risk Ponyville to do so.
"Oh, uh... sure. I don't eat things that speak. Weirds me right out." He answers, shrugging.

Huh. Easier than she had hoped for. If he was being honest. The way he seemed... aloof, about the whole situation, very casual about it all, helped with her nerves.
"We'll find you something to eat at my Library, then. If you--"
"Can't eat books."
"If you eat my books, we'll have a lot more problems than if you can or cannot. No, I have food there too."
"...Noted. Lead on, Buttsparkle."
"My name is Twilight Sparkle."
"Well, before I referred to you as Plorse--why don't you like being called a Horse, anyway? That's what we call the closest thing I know to what your kind is."
"I'm not explaining what a Whorse is in front of Spike--and Spike, you'd better forgot you ever heard that word!" She denotes loudly, jabbing a concerned hoof at Spike, while at the same time, making sure he walked close to her. Who, at this point, mostly just found the situation entertaining. Anondus didn't seem so bad, and another creature with fingers and an irregular diet wasn't the worst thing to have around Ponyville.
"Also... Plorse? What, Purple..." She refuses to say the rest, but draws the conclusion easily enough. "Really?"
"Couldn't exactly get a name out of the blue one, the way she was drooling on me, so I just went with the first funny name I thought of."

That got their eyes wide, and afforded Anondus a few amused moments of silence as he trailed after the two, towards what he hoped would be a good meal. And maybe one of these other colorful pony-horse-butt tattoo things saw Garlik.

Twilight Buttsparkle, the Flustered

Twilight severely hoped Princess Luna was okay.

Chapter 4 - What are you, anyway?

Anondus, the Drenched / Twilight, the Reconsidering / Spike, the barely in this chapter

Twilight, Spike napping on her back, continued to stare up at a sap-drenched Anondus as they walk side-by-side, a dripping trail of the stuff left behind him. The outskirts of 'Ponyville' were looming, and the Everfree was behind them.

Now, this staring wasn't because of some crass comment or inter-culture misunderstanding.

The quiet time in the Everfree forest had come to an end before they got out of it, and a trio of Timberwolves had begun to surround them. Now, Twilight stood a decent chance against them, but if she had to protect Spike, she'd be stretched pretty thin.

Before she had a chance to figure out what to do, however, Anondus had stepped into action.

She appreciated his pacifism a lot more now.

Apparently, wherever he is from, 'Wolves that aren't made of this bullshit wood' aren't entirely uncommon. What started with him trying to stab the Wolves from behind his shield, with his spear, devolved into him bludgeoning them with his shield, while their bites failed to get through his armor.

He seems relatively unphased by the encounter, and keeps trying to poke her horn.

"So your people... fight? Alot?" Twilight asks, twisting her neck to avoid another attempt.

"Loads. Kind of comes in bursts. We'll sit around or walk around for hours, days, weeks... have a fight or two that lasts, like, an hour, tops. Then those that survive go home." Anondus explains, flicking some of the sap off his gloves.

"And you like this? It appeases a carnal nature within you?" She continues, her scientific curiosity still overriding her distaste.

"Oh, not at all, m'lord. We's but simple folk, takin' up sword n' spear in th' name of our kind lord, t' protect his lands, we do. Tis' a noble task." Anondus retorts in an over-the-top peasantry accent.
"No, rich dudes tell us to, we obey or they burn down our land. Like your Princesses, right?"

"No! Not at all! That's horrible! Princess Celestia would never!" Twilight gasps, shocked by the grouping of her kind, dear teacher with what sounded like an abhorant, cruel ruler.

"Oh, that's cool." Anondus nods, looking forward.

A short silence befalls the group, as they start to pass Sweet Apple Acres.

"Oh, you've got Apples. Nice." Anondus comments, trying to clue in how Ponies would harvest them. It'd be funny if they kicked them.

"That's Sweet Apple Acres! Applejack and her family, the Apples run it!" Twilight imparts. On the inside, she was torn between being guarded with information, and getting to speak on topics like she had all the information. Because at this moment, she did, and she was enjoying it greatly.

"Whose her family? AppleSteve? AppleJohn?" Anondus snorts.

"No, uh... Big Mac, Apple Bloom, Granny Smith..." She trails off, raising an eyebrow.

Anondus huffs. Darn. His next guesses were for Twilights family. Twilight Sprinkle or Twilight Spunk or something.

"You said you live in a Library? How'd you afford all those books and scrolls?" Anondus asks, the question tickling his mind.

"Huh? Yeah, it's both my home, and the Library for Ponyville. Ponies borrow books from me, and I scour its vast wealth of knowledge, keeping the books organized and in good condition! Princess Celestia sends some to me, I buy them myself, some Ponies donate..." She trails off, smiling. Anondus could tell Plorse loved books.

"Damn. You must be loaded." Anondus whistles.

"Loaded?" Twilight inquires, confused.

"Proper gold mintage in the heapfulls." Anondus expounds.

"Oh! You mean Bits? I don't really have to worry about those, as Celestias student. She covers everything I need." She admits sheepishly.

"Funded by the crown? Nobility then, surely." Anondus prods, curious now. Pony Nobility. Pobility.

"Oh, no no. My family isn't Nobility; but, my parents live in Canterlot, where the Nobles do live." Twilight explains.

"I... see." Anondus hums, brain chugging in thought.

Lives with Nobility, but isn't Nobility. Tied to the crown, well funded and shoved in a far-off village.

Offspring of an affair. It all makes sense now. The Plorse was a bastard. He would push the topic no further.

"What about you? Do you like books?" Twilight asks, hoping she hadn't offput him.

Anondus snaps back out of his assumptions, and looks down at the Plorse, shrugging.
"Can't read."

Anondus walks for a few more steps, staring at the stock-frozen-still Plorse as it stares back at him, like he just punted her lizard friend across the orchard. She starts to stutter, then ramble, and words practically pour out of her mouth without a care for sentence structure.

"ohmygodyoucan'treadwhatdoyoumeanyoucan'treadthat'sinsaneeveryponycanread-"

"Huh?"

"-thereisn'tasingleponyinequestriawhocan'treadexceptformaybefoalsbutthey'lllearnthey're-

"...Are you good?"

"-inschoolforthatreasondoesthatmeanyoudon'thaveschoolsthere'snowaythat'sinsanethat's-"

"I'm gonna... keep walking, if you wanna... catch up later?"

"-likeimplyingthatyoudon'tlikebooksormaybeyouweren'ttaughtdoesthatmeanyourpeopledon'tcareor-"

Twilight doesn't notice Anondus walk right up to her, squat down, and go eye-to-eye with her, only inches away. He pokes her chest a few times, eliciting no reaction. Plorse was gone. She keeps mumbling as Anondus stares at her. He scratches his nose.

"She's probably gonna be a minute. Let's just..." Anondus mutters, plucking Spike off her back, and setting him under one arm. He doesn't stir. With the other, he scoops Twilight, holding her under the other arm. He goes back to walking, Twilight still rambling under her breath.

Twizzled Scepter, the Frazzled

When Twilight blinks back into reality, she's sat on her couch. Oh, good. She droned out there for a moment.

The ramifications of this scenario instantly rear their ugly head, as her eyes go wide.

She's off the couch in a moment, dashing towards the door. It slams open, and she stares out into Ponyville, where the absolute chaos was happening, the fires, the screaming, the--

Apple Bloom pauses, waving to Twilight, before resuming dragging whatever she'd bought down the street.

Ponyville was fine. Quiet. No fires, no screaming, and she could see other ponies out and about.

Confusion slowly twists onto her face, as she closes the doors, stepping back inside.

As she turns around, she sees Anondus sitting at her kitchen table, legs crossed and on the floor to be able to sit at it properly, demolishing a bowl of her cereal. He's undressed somewhat, his helmet and weapons sat beside the table, his sap-dripping tabard folded up and lain on the table, just in his gambeson now.

Anondus glances up from the bowl, gives a little wave, and swallows.

"Back with us?" He asks.

"Where's Spike?" Twilight counter-asks, glancing around.

He points towards the couch, where she can see a spilt Spike sprawled on the floor, snoring.

"He was on the half-bed with you, until you leapt off of it." Anondus states, taking another scoop. "Doeshnt--" He pauses, chewing and swallowing. "--seem like he cares though. Man, this stuff is good. The fuck is it?" He asks, though he doesn't actually seem to care if he gets an answer or not, ripping into it again.

Twilight sighs in relief, trotting over to join him at the table.

Anondus, the Serial Cereal Slaughterer

Plorse joins him at her little table, leaning against it with her elbows, head in her hooves.

He knows they aren't horses, but there's no fucking way that's comfortable.

"...Did you call it a half bed--no, that doesn't matter! How did you get into the Library?! Without scaring half of Ponyville?" She suddenly shouts, slamming her hooves down and leaning forward.

Anondus finishes chewing.
"Walked in? Asked the first Pony I saw for directions? Came in through the window?" Anondus explains, waggling his dripping spoon around like it should've been simple guesswork, making a mess.

Twilight stares, mouth slightly agape. Before she has a chance to speak, there's a spoon full of Oaty O's hovering just outside of it, Anondus holding it out. Waiting.

She slowly shakes her head.

He shrugs, and takes it for himself.

That threw Plorse for a loop. It takes her a second to reboot. Anondus swears she blinks one eye at a time.

"Well, once I got them to stop screaming and held them down, they were--" Anondus starts.

"YOU WHAT?!" Twilight shrieks, before Anondus bursts out laughing, spitting food everywhere. Twilight is furious, until she realizes she's been joked. She sighs, slumping into the chair.

Anondus takes a minute, but once he's finally finished making the mess worse, he sighs, waving a hand dismissively.
"No screams, just weird looks. Mostly at you."

Twilight flusters.
"Well... good, alright. I'm glad that everything worked out. Now, I need to write a letter to the Princesses about this."

Anondus is silent, squinting. He can feel the hair on the back of his neck rising.
"...No, I don't think you will."

Twilight looks at him, half expecting it to be some kind of joke. He doesn't laugh.

Then, a burst of brilliant blue light, as Blorse suddenly appears in the middle of the living room.
"TWILIGHT SPARKLE! FRET NOT, WE HAVE ARRIVED TO CAPTURE THE--... the..."

Blorses flash flushes a deeper blue, as her words trail off. Anondus waves.

Twilight, the Hungry

"Oh, P-Princess?" Twilight mutters.

Anondus, the Sated

"Oh, you do speak." Anondus hums.

Princess Luna, the Hungry in a very different way

"Oh, Buck." Luna curses.

Chapter 5 - Mama raised no quitter

Twilight, the Oblivious / Anondus, the very cool wow / Princess Luna, the Barely holding it together

Twilight, Anondus, and Luna all sit at the kitchen table. An awkward silence has settled over the group.

Luna had arrived wearing only her usual regent garb; stylized horseshoes, her tiara, and a chestpiece. Gone was the valiant armor she planned to best the beast in.

Well, awkward for the Ponies. Some kind of tension in the air, too, but the Human was none the wiser. Belly full, Anondus is trying to scrub sap out of his shield, and is generally unbothered.

When Luna asked why Anondus was covered in sap, Twilight explained about the situation with the Timber Wolves. Luna bit her lip.

Twilight would have gladly filled Luna in on everything that happened so far since finding Anondus, but... Luna seems very, very distracted, the way she's staring at Anondus, squirming in her seat. Her breathing is a lot heavier than usual, like she's struggling to keep her composure.

It's Anondus who finally breaks the silence--Luna practically startles when he speaks up.
"So... you were in my dreams? That was you?" He asks, poking towards the Blorse.

Luna clears her throat, trying to regain some composure.
"Yes. We are Luna, Princess of the Moon. Ensuring that our nations subjects are beheld to kind dreams is part of our duty, and such is how we found you."

Anondus nods.
"Why didn't you say anything? Only found out you could talk because of Plorse, here." He motions towards Twilight, who also seems to want to know.

Luna coughs loudly, trying to maintain her pride.
"You, er... did not... give us a chance, to."

Twilight tilts her head, magenta mane flopping.
"What do you mean, Princess? What did he do?"

A brilliant blush takes Lunas face by storm, and she quickly looks away.
"N-Nothing, Twilight Sparkle."

Anondus snorts. "Oh, we started making out, big time, slobbering all over each other--" He wraps his arms around himself and starts making kissy noises. Lunas ears point straight up like little radar dishes as she stutters in offence.

"W-WE DID NOT! WE DID NO SUCH THING! YOU- YOU PUT YOUR HANDS UPON US, YOU BRUTE! WE WOULD NEVER LET SUCH A... CRUDE, VILE BEAST PERFORM SUCH AN SALACIOUS ACT SUCH AS K-KISSING US!" She shouts, slamming her hooves down on the table. This convinces, very few individuals in the room.

Luna hadn't done such things in many, many years. Her thousand years of outcast, even after her return, she's hardly had time to socialize or fraternize with anyone else. That was a lot of years to be lacking in attention; and to receive such A Grade attention all at once? Shook to the core.

The group is quiet as they hear Spike grumbling, pick himself off the floor by the couch, and begins walking upstairs to avoid the noise, getting back to sleep. Luna coughs awkwardly, her bold posture shrinking, while Twilight has her face buried in her hooves, trying to hide the blush that's taken it.

Anondus unfolds his arms from himself, and leans his head against his hand, throwing a playful eye towards Blorse, leaving his gear to be cleaned for later. He was starting to clue in on why she'd been acting the way she had. At first, he thought she was just like... a fiend for pets or something, but Plorse's lack of a similar reaction was telling.
Peasants like him could get down with some pretty weird stuff. Not like you had much else going on at the farms, anyway.
He could work with this.
"...You sure?" He asks softly.

Twilights eyes go wide from behind her hooves, and her gaze flicks to Luna. She was already incredibly thrown off of her original plan of worries, now realizing this was just something... weird, the Princess was involved in. On one hand, it'd be polite to excuse herself, or back up the Princess, or... anything. But, Twilight's reasonable courses of action were overwritten by an immense curiosity.

Luna stutters, coughs, and completely fails in finding words that could help in a response. She turns away, staring out the window.

Anondus snaps his fingers, catching both of their attention again.
"Right. Forgot, you like when I just do things."

He stands, and Luna feels her stomach drop.

Anondus, the slinger / Luna, the slinged

The door to Twilights room, oh so graciously offered through mumbles from behind blushing hooves, is swung open. Anondus enters, carrying the --surprisingly light-- Blorse under his arm, who was stock-still and straight-legged in frozen shock over being suddenly manhandled under the blatant guise of 'Helping her figure out what she wants', and dragged upstairs.

Luna firmly believed she could never look her sisters pupil in the eyes again.

It was a good, if small room. Sizable bed, considering Plorses size. And more books. The entire house was already layered in books, even outside the library, and she still found room to shove more in here.

Well, nerd shit didn't matter now. Anondus sets the Blorse down on the edge of the bed, hands on his hips as he looks down. She already takes up most of it--even though its a large bed, Blorse is easily more than twice as big as Plorse, curled on the blankets of the already messy furniture. Luna, wide-eyed, glances up for a moment--before looking away. She looks smaller than usual, lacking her usual proud posture.

Andondus steps around the end of the bed, and sits beside her, the small matress forcing their proximity so that neither slips to the floor, their sides rubbing together.

Lunas stiffens, blush deepens, and she looks away. The human, even moreso than in the dreams, was very, very warm. He practically radiated it.

Anondus doesn't do anything quite yet, watching her.

"W...Well? How art thou going to... r-ravish us?" Luna mutters, stealing the odd side-eye at the Human. "Despite our efforts... thou hast broken our walls, and shattered our resolve. W-We are..." She trails off, but Anondus places a hand on her withers, eliciting a small noise of startle from her.

"Radish you? Yeah, I have no idea what you're going on about, you're just soft and fun to pet." Anondus starts, beginning to trail his fingers up and down her back, towards the base of her neck, then down, between the base of her wings, feeling the lines of surprising but familiar muscle that Blorse had; just like in the dreams.

"Y-you-- huh?" Luna stutters, her confusion clear. She tries to clarify the situation, but, if the way her wings are starting to rise and stick out are any indication, Anondus' touching is making that difficult.
"You do not wish to debase us? Claim us as yours? I-impart us w-with your s-seed?"
She's practically whispering in the last part, big, brilliant blue eyes, portals to the stars, staring into Anondus' own non-descript eyes.

Anondus just stares. He keeps petting, though, now running his other hand slowly along her chest, fingers sinking into the fluff that sticks upwards, freed from the confines of her chestpiece.
"You catch me as the lonely type." Anondus comments idly. Lunas ears flatten as she shies away.

"W-what? No, we..." She starts, but Anondus softly grasps her chin, running his thumb slowly across her face.

"You stuck in dreams or something?" He continues to press, genuinely curious.

Luna sighs, as her form presses against him, letting her weight lean on him. Anondus accepts this, starting to focus the attention around her neck, and head, a hand roaming through the base of her mane.

Quietly, she retells her story to him. Of Nightmare Moon, of the jealously, and furthermore, loneliness, that gripped her before her transformation. How she was banished by her sister for a thousand years, and how while it may have put a stifle to her jealousy, only compounded her loneliness, trapped on a grey and featureless rock with naut a soul to speak with. Loneliness turned to rage, to sadness, to grief, and finally... back to loneliness. The time dragged, but it was like a blur. Only, finally when she returned, and Nightmare Moon was expelled from herself, did she find some solace in reuniting with her sister. But, even after that time has passed, she's never shaken that loneliness. That desire for contact, for intimacy, for affection -- for love.

Luna slowly returns her gaze to Anondus, noses close enough to touch, the tickle of her deep-blue fur ever-soft as it brushes him. She's staring at him with... expectation, with a desire to know. This creature, that she seemed to connect with in her dreams. That seemed to show in her own dreams, even when she didn't ply the dreamscape. It was a stretch, a leap--but, after opening her heart, after explaining to him something nobody else might ever know...

Could he--he's looking at her, about to say something. She tenses in preparation. A... confession? An explanation? She doesn't know what to expect, but she--

"Damn, that's crazy."

Lunas stares at him, slack-jawed.

Anondus pats her back, before reaching fully around her with both arms, pulling her close in for a hug. He nuzzles against her neck, stroking her gently.
"I can't pretend like I've been stuck on the moon or some shit before, but I get being lonely. Everybody gets lonely. And I mean, hey--if getting pet is your thing, you found the dreams of a guy whose pretty good at it, I'd say." Anondus says, providing a finger-wiggle for example.

Luna sighs, leaning into the hug as a small silence takes the pair.

Eventually, she leans away from it, turning to face him. A hoof is placed on his knee, as a serious expression takes her face. The corners of her eyes are starting to tear up.

"W-what if, we... wanted something more?" She says, quietly, almost a whisper.

"Belly rubs?"

Her hoof smacks his knee, squinting at him in irritation.
"Ow."
"Cease your density." She growls.

Anondus leans back, eyes wide. He can feel his face getting warm. That's new.

The midnight-blue pony, face full of emotion, practically bores a hole through him with her expectant glare. She wants an answer. A better answer.

Anondus hums softly.

"...Alright, hold on. Can you...?" He lets go of her, motioning in front of himself. Luna, raising a suspicious eyebrow, slowly stands, glancing to him for confirmation.

Anondus directs her to stand in front of himself, Luna now facing him as he sits on the bed. The blush sat on Lunas face, and the heat in her chest, remains--but she continues to stare, waiting to see where this leads.

Lips pursed, Anondus is... processing. Coming to terms with something. He's leaning, taking in every facet of Luna.

Realizing she's basically being examined, a tinge of pride returns to the Princess of the Night, puffing her chest, raising her head. Her wings fluff out wide, presenting herself nobly. A dominating visage of Midnight.

Well, until Anondus stands, approaching her, forcing her to look up at him again. Few creatures forced her to do such, and it brought odd feelings she wasn't entirely against.

One of his fingers brushes her lips, his thumb tugging at her bottom lip. Slightly wet, a bead of saliva runs between the two; his thumb leaving the slightest taste of sap.
"Hm." Anondus hums, seemingly in approval. The trepidation around his inspection, and the stroking of her pride through affirmation, has Luna's breath growing heavier, watching the human through half-lidded eyes.

His hand recedes, to her dislike--until he makes a small spinning motion.

He wants her to spin around and present herself. To expose herself to him, like some... common mare.

His eyebrow raises from the pause, as Luna tackles another deepset internal hurdle about her pride.

Taking too long.

Anondus leans slightly, putting his face close to hers. Very close. Their noses touch, and in a moment, they're sharing breath. She's ripped from her thoughts, and her back hoof stomps softly on impulse, tail swishing.

Anondus, the Fuck It We Ball

Yeah, fuck it. Let's do it.

Anondus, the Consort / Luna, the Consorted

Luna's eyes widen and their lips meet, Anondus pushing forward; his hand roams up her neck, through her mane, settling behind her head as it supports her. A soft whinny almost escapes her, as she's forced to look up to meet his kiss. It's soft... tender, and caring. Not the ferocious claim of a perverse beast and its prey, but that of a... lover. A meeting of lips that pauses for breath, gingerly waiting as lips touch before pressing into each-other again.

Finally, Luna begins to fold to the feelings she'd been resisting since she arrived, sinking into the feeling of his fingers brushing through her fur, pressing against her flesh, idly stroking through her mane.

Anondus pulls away, to her displeasure. Her eyes open as she realizes, staring at him with worried need.

"Uh, wow. Nice. Also, uh... I'm not a slut." Anondus whispers.

The sentence utterly confuses her, blinking several times.
"...What?" She asks in turn, matching his quiet tone.

"Oh, like, uh... if we're doing this, this is locked in. You and me. Might be weird, sure, but I know some guys who've done 'ye olde deed' with weirder." He explains.

Luna still stares at him, lost.

He sighs, smiling in bemusement, and gives her a small peck on the nose. She snorts.
"If we." He starts, motioning between the two with a finger. She nods.
"Do this." Which is promptly followed by an unromantic, crass, finger-in-hole motion that crossed cultural boundaries and was clear for both parties. She hesitates, blushing, but nods.
"Then we're getting married, and this is a thing. Sorry if that seems like I'm trying to slip in on some royalty bonus points or something, but Mama raised me to love. And I love hard."

That helped it finally click for Luna, who blushed harder than she had the entire night at those words. Her wings shot out, completely straight, her tail raising. Her eyes were wide open, staring, unblinking.

That would be... irresponsible, of her. Very much so. What would her sister think? She was a proud ruler of a Kingdom; one of two, especially. There would be... questions, first. Laws to be checked, traditions to be maintained and... well, he wasn't even a Pony! Her... flighty fancy for him may be from his skilled touch, and his bemusing wit, but, surely she couldn't... she wouldn't...

Her eyes slowly roam down, noticing the tent in his pants.

Oh, Buck her sister. Payback for a thousand years.

She whispers something, but its too quiet for Anondus to hear.

"Sorry?" Anondus tilts his head slightly.

"...How hard?" She repeats, barely audible.

"...I still can't--" Anondus starts, but her face snaps up, a soft blue glow grasping the collar of his shirt as it yanks him closer,
their noses touching as she glares into his eyes. Eyes filled with need.

"How. Hard. Can. You. Love. Me?" She punctuates, firmly. The silence that follows finally clues Anondus in to just how off the deep end he was, when he can hear the dripping that breaks the silence. That was hitting the floor. From between her legs.

"... I ever tell you how big your flank is?" Anondus whispers.

"Second biggest in the kingdom. Have we ever told you we like your scar?" Luna returns haughtily.

"Not yet, but you're free to give me a few more." Anondus huffs.

The two stare at each other, before Blorse tackles him onto the bed.

Twilight Sparkle, the Tortured

Twilight is sat on the couch, with a small cup of coffee, and a book. Ignoring the noises from upstairs.

"W-We cannot get it off! Use your fingers!" "But that ruins the fun. It's cute, seeing you need it."

Just, enjoying the evening. She'd found a new creature from the Everfree, gotten home, safe and sound.

"THERE! NOW YOU'RE OURS!" "Shit, you're quick with that magic. Hey, hold on--"

There's a large thud sound upstairs, followed by creaking.

"OH, BY OUR SISTER!" "Oop-that's a new one. You're fucking warm."

Twilight rubs her temples with her hooves. The blush on her face has become a permanent fixture. As much as she tried to ignore it, she found her ears kept perking up at every noise.

"D-DON'T GRAB OUR HORN!" "Oh, sorry." ... "NEVERMIND, GRAB THE BUCKING HORN!" "Yes Ma'am."

She can't believe she offered the bucking Princess of the Moon her room so she could get railed by an alien.

This weeks friendship report was going to be horrible.

The creaking upstairs quickens, getting louder, as do the voices.

That would be a problem for later. She needed another coffee. And a plan for a new problem that just arrived.

Anondus, the Spent / Twilight, the Questioning Things / Princess Luna, the Feeling Quite Rejuvenated
The three sat around Twilights kitchen table again, the glow of the early morning peering in through the windows. Rather than their previous trifecta, Luna sat directly beside Anondus, nuzzling his cheek with her snout, the two sat across from Twilight. A light breakfast was sat in front of each of them, and Anondus' clothes were cleaned, handled last night in an attempt to stay distracted, considering Twilight couldn't fall asleep. The Morning wasn't Luna's normal hours, but this was hardly a normal situation.

Twilights eyes are half-closed, bags under them. Some of her mane is frazzled. There's an odd smell in the living room.

Luna is practically glowing, her fur radiating a healthy sheen. The smile hasn't left her lips--nor has she left Anondus' side.

Anondus looks skinnier, drained, even. But happy. Luna is floating the spoon of breakfast cereal to his mouth for him.

"We are most appreciated of both your assistance, and your cooperation in these matters, Twilight Sparkle. We will provide a most glowing review of your help to our dear sister." Luna hums.

"I... actually, Princess Luna. I'd rather you didn't." Twilight mutters. This draws both Lunas and Anondus' attention, who look to the Plorse.

"Is everything alright, Twilight? We did not overstep, did we? We know that we are not our sister--" Luna starts, sounding concerned.

"N-no, not that." Twilight refutes, bringing silence to the table.

She nervously taps her hooves together, trying to muster some kind of courage. A deep breath, and she finally speaks up.

"Could, uh... I watch next time?"