"Strabismus?"

"Yes." Nurse Redheart affirms, glancing up from an overstuffed clipboard; her desk, similarly, was covered in paperwork regarding the local residents. She herself, with her near-white fur and light red mane tucked under her nurses cap, was pretty cute; though cute was a good word for most of the denizens of this place. Maybe it was my soft spot for no-nonsense women. Her office was pretty quaint, but familiar after these last few months.

While Ponyville wasn't a particularly large place, something seemed to happen every other week around here, keeping the local hospital pretty busy. I had a feeling the Mare in questions stack of paperwork must be abnormally large.

Redheart clears her throat, drawing my attention back from my nosy browsing of her desk, lightly smacking my outstretched hand.

"Patient confidentiality, please, Mister Muss..." She pauses, flipping through the clipboard with a hoof. I still had no idea how they did that, things folded in a way I knew the horses back 'home' couldn't.

I'm quick to give her a sheepish grin, but its just as quickly met with a raised eyebrow. A pang of guilt hits me, and I quickly hide my smile--though with the chunk of my left cheek missing, that doesn't really do much.

"Sorry, I forget that--" I start, but find myself interrupted as she raises a hoof.

"You don't need to hide your Teeth, Mister Muss. As we've discussed with Twilight, exposure is the best method; Ponyville is resilient, and they'll grow used to it. Its a mixture of Small-Town mindset clashing with constant foreign change. They'd probably get over you quicker if we had any Griffin residents, but..." She trails off, lifting one of the papers on the edge of her desk. "...Gilda, one of Rainbow Dashes friends, wasn't terribly keen on setting up somewhere rural. Honestly, if anything, its your height -- but watching you hit your head on enough doorframes is helping with that."

Or maybe you had a thing for women with some cheek... a snort escapes me as I lean back.

"I'm still not wearing the helmet, but the headache medicine helps plenty." I say, sinking back into the chair. Redheart makes a similar noise, starting to tuck the results of my tests away into one of the drawers. I'd come in for my Monthly, as was decided by Twilight and Celestia for my long-term health. Being a 'Non-Magical' being in a world where Magic was a part of every facet didn't bode well for my personal health, but so far, I was all above board.

"So... not Ditzy, its... Derpy, right?" I prod after a few quiet moments, trying to bring our previous conversation back to light. I swear I could see a pang of pity hit her face as I mention the names again.

"Yes, it's Derpy. And Dinky is the name of her daughter." Redheart affirms, finally jamming the latest of my results away, sitting back in her chair with a heavy creak. "Why do you ask? Should I be expecting her in a few hours?"

The question surprises me.
"I don't think so? Does she... get hurt a lot?"

"Constantly. She's remarkably sturdy, but that doesn't help the condition of whatever she impacts with. Poor thing usually shows up followed by the owner of whatever she ran into, swearing and..." She trails off, before realizing she might be letting a little too much slip. She clears her throat, looking back at me.
"I apologize for her if--"

"Woah, hey, no." I cut her off, raising my hands. "No complaints, just neighborly concern after she came tumbling in through my window to deliver me something."

Redheart sighs, likely in relief.
"She's a sweet mare, and absolutely dotes on her daughter. I don't know how she does it, keeping that smile up." She relents, before growing curious. "What did you do to start getting packages?"

"Oh, they're from Tia--erh, Celestia. Princess Cele--how formal am I supposed to be when I'm just talking about her?" I ask, still confused. She was a borderline, if not actual, Goddess ruling a nation, yet treated me like a childhood friend every time I swung by with Twilight.

Redheart just stares at me with an incredulous look, before slumping her head into a hoof, leaning on it.
"Anon, if you're on a nickname basis with the Princesses, it really doesn't matter at this point. Just remember politeness."

"...Right. But uh, yeah. We send each other letters, and she sends me stuff she thinks I might like, checking in on me. I asked about Derpy because she came flying in through my window, crashing on my couch. Apparently she's very... concerned, when you don't have a Mailbox." I continue, explaining my morning. Still had to get one built, though home repairs took priority.

"She has an upstanding record within the Mailmares, despite her accidents. Ensuring the package is safely received is borderline a fault of hers at this point. Though, she hadn't met you yet, right?" Redheart asks.

"Nope." I return bluntly.

"And how did that...?" Redheart prods, already somewhat aware of my answer.

"Scared the absolute shit of her, seeing me standing there in my boxers. Brushing my teeth too, so..." I start to mumble, her wide-crossed-eye stare of terror still fresh in my mind. I can hear Nurse Redheart suck air in through her teeth. Thankfully, Nurse Redheart was pretty familiar with my foreign clothing habits, so she understood the awkwardness of the situation from both angles.
"Yeah, scrambled right back out the window like a spooked cat, took out half my living room with her. Bunch of her packages spilled everywhere, too. Took me a few minutes to clean up."

Redheart sighs, a sympathetic, if sad expression taking her face.
"Derpy...really, truly means well. I hope she didn't... we can talk to Twilight, see if we can swing some Bits your way to replace what was damaged..." She says, like this isn't the first time she's had to broach the topic.

"What? Oh, no, its fine. Just... chairs and the couch got tipped, thats all. I stacked up all her packages and left them by the door outside, before I went to work." I say, not entirely telling the truth of just how much damage she caused. Didn't need to throw someone who'd been given a bad hand any further under the bus.

Redheart sighs in relief, looking at me with... wow, she broke the bossy Nurse face. That's an actual smile. Its been a while since one of the locals gave you one of those. Makes you want to ask her if she's down for a coffee.

"Thank you, Anon. She really does mean well." She says, softer than usual.

"Yeah, I figure if she's got a kid... foal... filly?"
Redheart nods at the last one. Right, Filly. I continue,
"She's probably got enough on her plate that's not recouping damages and lost packages. Whose the dad, by the way? I don't think I've seen her with anyone... or not working, for that matter."

Nurse Redhearts silence tells me all I need to hear, and I clear my throat, quick to move along. Single mothers were in no short supply where I was from. It was oddly humanizing, even in this land of colorful pastel butt-pictured magic ponies, they still had human problems.
"Uh... you said she has... Strabismus, right? What is that?" I ask instead, trying to avoid floating the awkward topic.

"Oh, right." She nods, returning to her more recognizable, friendly-but-cold demeanor. "It's a condition that surfaced when she was a Filly. The eyes cross, affecting vision, balance, depth of field... Derpy specifically suffers from a severe case, a mix of Hypo and Hypertopia. Typically, only one of the eyes is affected, and turns to face one direction more than the others... in her case, one eye suffers Hypotopia, the other Hypertopia. One looks up, one looks down. Our usual treatment, which is specialized glasses... don't really work, because they don't... well, survive."

"Fuck. She's got it rough, huh?" I mutter.

"She toughs it out. Honestly, I'd argue she's even tougher than the Elements, the way she keeps it together for Dinky. I only told you this because of the interaction you had with her this morning, and because of your willingness to empathize. I don't want to hear from Berry Punch in a few days that I'm slipping patients info." Nurse Redheart warns, pointing a hoof at me.

"Consider my lips stapled shut. Thanks, Nurse Redheart." I relent, mock-raising my hands in surrender. Appeased, Nurse Redheart scoots from her chair, hooves clacking on the floor as she walks around the desk.

"Well, other than that, Mister Muss, final question. About... what we talked about, last visit. Still feel the same?" She asks, looking up at me. Even when I'm sat, I towered over all but Tia, with their eyes typically level with my waist.

I purse my lips, glancing away.
"Yeah, uh... I'm good. Take care of 'things' myself. Not really looking, you know. If something happens, I'll... feel it out, I guess. Unless you're asking me to a coffee later?" I grimace, but fold to a playful side-eye. The awkward topic of how I was handling being surrounded by another species, after coming from a Mono-Species planet. I'd overcame the weirdness of things after a few months, especially thanks to that one time I caught Nurse Redheart smoking behind the Hospital... that helped humanize these paint-bucket ponies a fair amount. But there was also the layer of sexual needs, and the decision that, after learning that Humans don't go through Heat, and are just... always down, they found it prudent to talk to me about taking 'Care of Myself' and 'to let them know if I got into anything with anypony'.

She snorts. "Much too busy. Either you find a Mare that isn't already married to her job, or find a day we don't have the Elements swooping in to counteract some weekly disaster, and I'll take you out for one. Good to hear you're managing, though."

I stand, following her towards the door of the Office, which she opens for me.
"It was good to see you, Mister Muss. Next Month?" She asks, like I really had much of a choice in it.

"Yeah, sure thing. Have a good one, Miss Red--" I go to wave, but Nurse Redheart cuts me off.

"Derpy is... I think you two might get along. If you give her the chance." She says suddenly, not making eye contact.

I'm silent for a few moments. Man. She really, really cares. A part of me cringes wondering just how many other Ponies around here don't, if she's so unsubtly trying to push a friendship.
"...If she comes flying in through my window again, I'll make sure there's a cushion there or something." I relent, which gets another one of those rare, honest Redheart smiles.

"Thank you, Anon."
I wave, tucking my hands into my jacket pockets as I hit my head on the doorframe.

Author's Note

PonyVille Hospital Patient File - Anon E. Muss
Male, Human, late 20's.
Physical: Prosthetic Left Leg. Facial, Leg and Torso Burn Scars, exposed Teeth on left side of face, scarring consistent down left torso to left leg, where leg ends just below knee.
History: Tight lipped, but likely something Militant.
Mental: Stable(?)
Note - I suspect some form of PTSD or Depression, but he's social and does well to either hide it, or function with it. Emotionally mature, unlikely to be violent. Has taken the sudden life shift surprisingly well, may have come from unwell prior situation, doesn't seem bothered by towns general distrust. Fond of dark humor, but tries to remain polite. Likely a coping mechanism.

Monthly Check-Ins still recommended, Letters & Continued Friendship highly advised.
- Nurse Redheart