Rainbow Dash sighs loudly. "Do I have to, Applejack?" She whines.

Applejack, frown sat firmly on her face, nudges Dashes flank towards Anons door.
"Twilights already gettin' chewed out by Celestia, an' even Rarity done gone went and got along with 'em."

"Okay, and?? What does that have to do with ME?" Dash throws her Hooves in the air, exasperated.

"You're the only one not on good terms, Dash, an' that ain't fair. Least be cordial."

"Why do I have to play nice when Twilight is the one that freaks out?! And Fluttershy doesn't like him either!"

"Because it's the right thing t' do, Dash; and Flutters gets along with him fine. Now get t' knockin'." Applejack firmly shoves Dash towards the door.

Dash groans, rolling her eyes, before knocking on Anons door several times with a hoof. Loudly. Brimming with annoyance.

There's a loud crash inside. The two Ponies share a concerned glance.

Muffled shouting -- then, something inside shatters.

"Uh... probably come back later." Dash mutters, hopeful.

Applejack rolls her eyes. "Element of Avoidin' your buckin' problems." Jack grunts, spinning around in place before slamming her back hooves into Anons door.

It flies off the hinges, splintering down the middle as it scatters over the floor. The inside of Anons home is... an absolute mess. Again.

What little furniture he had left after Twilights episode, is now scattered around and knocked over. A confused Barfy sits in the corner of the room, looking severely concerned.

In the middle of the room, are two Anons. Fists clenched, shirts grabbed, they're frozen in place as the door is suddenly burst open, a brawl interrupted.

"Ha! Told you it'd--" Dash looks like she was about to brag about being right about Barfy being the source of the problem, until she sees said Barfy in the corner, completely uninvolved. Dashes ego visibly deflates as quick as it arrived.

Applejack eyes the two Anons suspiciously, stepping into the house. Dash slowly trails in after, peeking out from behind her orange flank.

"Wipe your hooves." Both Anons chirp at the same time -- before giving each-other a death glare, slugging each-other in the face.

"...Right." Applejack mutters. She complies, tentatively, before slowly entering the room, standing off to the side near Barfy. Dash follows suit, her curiosity overwriting her natural distaste for apologizing; it wasn't cool to be wrong, after all.

Applejack had heard from Rarity about Barfy's... progress? And now that it was pointed out, even the Southern Belle of a pony could see the difference. She sits beside Barfy, leaning to check on her.
"You, uh... doin' alright there?"

Barfy nods.

Applejack hums in surprise, remembering Barfy's state only... what, two weeks ago? Never thought she'd be able to converse with the thing. With the Mare. Not so much a thing, anymore.

"What's, uh... goin' on?" Applejack mumbles. She doesn't expect an answer, and Barfy can't really provide one, either.

"Yeah. Why are there two of these dipshits?" Dash chimes in; both Anons pause, give her the finger, and go back to scuffling. A back-handed slap, a nut-tap. Finger in the eye. Slapping, kicking, poking, insulting. It's like a cartoon, just missing the big dust cloud.

Maybe Applejack can just let them figure it out themselves.

One Anon just suplexed the other, leaving a dipshit-shaped dent in the floorboards.

Yeah, no.

"Alright, ALRIGHT -- QUIT IT!" Applejack shouts, stamping a hoof -- Barfy and Dash flinching away.

Both Anons freeze mid-tussle, arms reared back, staring at Applejack.
"What?" They grunt in unison.

"Anon, or Anon -- what in Tartarus is goin' on here?" Applejack demands.

"He started it!" "He's a BITCH!" "No YOU'RE THE BITCH!" "YOU DON'T WASH YOUR ASS!" "DO TOO!" "COMIN' ALL UP IN MY HOUSE!" "I WAS HERE FIRST!" "NUHUH" "YUHUH" "NUHUH" "YUHUH" "FUCK YOU" "NO, FUCK YOU!" "OOOH, YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME SAY IT!" "I KNOW YOU WON'T!"

The two devolve into a childish, meaningless bickering-match, grasping the others shirt as they shake each other around on the floor.

Applejack shares a look with Dash, who looks about as confused as she does. Barfy watches helplessly, lip quivering.

"SHUT UP!"

Both Anons freeze again, staring at the screaming Applejack.

"BUCKIN' QUIT IT, BOTH OF YOU!"

"But he started--" Both try to squeeze in.

"SHUT."

"B-but--"

"UP."

Both Anons adopt a pitiable frown, pushing off each-other and standing up, side by side, shamefully.

"NOW AH' DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOIN' ON, BUT WE'RE GETTIN' T' TH' BOTTOM OF THIS." Applejack finally takes a deep breath, calming herself.

Dash is realizing something about herself, newly awakened by Applejack.

The two Anons give each-other hateful side-eyes, but behave.

Applejack clears her throat.
"Alright. Now; why is there two Anons? Anon one. You answer." She states, pointing to the Anon to her left.

"Fuck if I know? This asshole walked out of my bathroom acting like he owned the place." The Anon now titled Anon 1 answers, throwing an accusing wave at Anon 2.

"What? Fuck--" Anon 2 is promptly shushed by Applejack, and frowns.

"Alright. Anon 2?" She directs, now to the Anon on her right.

"I don't want to be Anon 2. This is bullshit. I didn't even get a chance to wash my hands." Anon 2 huffs, crossing his arms.

"...You walked out of the bathroom before you even saw me." Anon 1 objects, giving him a weird look.

"Semantics. I wash my hands in the kitchen sink, it's where the soap is. You would KNOW THAT if you LIVED HERE!" Anon 2 accuses, jabbing a finger at Anon 1. Anon 1 scowls, balling his fists.

Applejack groans, rubbing her temple. This wasn't going anywhere fast.

"Alright, enough. Anon 1 -- Tell me something that only the real Anon would know." Applejack decides.

"Alright, uh..." Anon 1 trails off.

"Fuck off. This shit? Really? You don't fucking know me! I literally just --" Anon 2 frowns -- getting a frown from Dash, and a louder shush from Applejack.

"That one's really defensive." Dash points accusingly with her hoof, at Anon 2.

"Noted." Applejack grunts. Anon 2 throws his hands in the air, grumbling.

"Uhhh -- Oh! That one time that Apple Bloom snuck into --" Anon 1 starts.

"Told you never t' mention that one, Anon." Applejack growls.

Anon 1 gulps. "Noted."

Letting her scowl simmer, Applejack accepts the answer to which Anon was legally bound not to bring up again, turning to Anon 2.

"How long you been in Ponyville for?" Applejack tests.

"Oh, like at least this many." Anon 2 huffs, giving her double-middle fingers.

"...Charming. And deflecting." Applejack squints.

"Anon's an ass, sure, but this one isn't answering anything." Dash whispers.

Anon 2 crosses his arms, while Anon 1 gives him a smug look.

"Alright. Final question -- an I'm hogtyin' the one who gets this one wrong fer' Twilight t' get her moodiness out on." Applejack threatens.

Both Anons share a glare.

"Both 'Nons. One night, when y' were pretty damn drunk, y' called me somethin'. What'd you call me?" Applejack demands dryly.

Anon 1 ponder for a quick moment -- before snapping his fingers.
"Assjack. Apple-ass? Jackass. No -- Apple Shitter, like Apple Fritter. Uh..."

Applejack and Dash grin -- right as a wooden chair smashes into the back of Anon 1's head, dropping him like a sack of bricks.

Anon 2 is holding what's left of the chair, and spits at the now twitching body of Anon 1. The three Mares stare at him with wide, horrified eyes.

Before Anon 1 is surrounded by a burst of green flame, revealing a still-twitching, unconscious Changeling, with a dark-red fin.

"How the fuck would I remember? I was black out drunk. Dumbass." Anon 2 huffs, tossing what's left of the chair aside. Now the sole Anon, he regains titling of Anon, singular.

"...Buckin' what?" Applejack mutters, glancing at Dash. Dash shrugs. "Ah... uh, thought I had th' right one pinned down. Sorry, Sugarcube." Applejack continues, rubbing her neck.

"I gave you a hint, like, right away. I said the soap was in the kitchen. There's no soap in the bathroom. Why the fuck would I buy two soaps? You could have checked." Anon grumbles. He hated this dumb fucking imposter trope.

Both Mares make an awkward noise, processing his odd logic. Barfy trots over to look at the Changeling, sniffing him.

"How did it... know all of that?" Dash questions.

"Probably read my Diary while I was shitting." Anon huffs.

"You keep a Diary?" Dash snorts, stifling a laugh. Meanwhile, Applejack was more perturbed that Apple secrets were being recorded.

"Enough, Dash. We should... tell th' Princess 'bout this." Applejack sighs, a little pocket of shame sitting in her chest. She thought she knew Anon better then that; now, looking back, made a lot more sense the real one didn't want to answer a single question. Had nothing to prove.
"Sorry again, Sugarcube."

"The fuck did you guys even come over to my house for?" Anon glances between the two.

"Oh. Right. Dash?" Applejack nudges Rainbow Dash on the shoulder.

"Ugh. Alright. Hey Anon, I'm..." She groans, rolling her eyes. She still had to apologize? After all that? Ugh... get this over with quick. "SorryforhowI'vebeen--"

Anon audibly gags, covering his mouth. "Oh my god, are you apologizing? This is even worse than the Changeling. Get out." Anon dry heaves, pointing to the door.

Dash looks offended. You think she'd like not having to apologize. But he didn't want it? What?

"Uh... D'you want some help cleanin' up?" Applejack tries to tentatively offer.

Anon shakes his head, pointing to the door again.

Applejack chalks this up to a solid defeat, sighing as she walks out of Anon's now twice-wrecked house. Dash follows after, not sure just how offended she should be that her apology was rejected. What, did he think her apologies weren't good enough? Hers were the best! She fumes, stalking after AJ.

The door would slam shut, if he had a door left.

Anon slowly maneuvers to the floor, sprawling on his back against the dented hardwood. The fake-anon-now-changeling is still out cold, and Barfy trots over to stand beside the real Anon, looking down at him.

"...I don't even want to know if you thought he was the real one." Anon grumbles, rubbing his eyes with his palms.

Barfy blinks a few times, clearing her throat.

"Gonna barf on me now, heal up my bruises as a sorry?" Anon comments, testy.

Barfy shakes her head, making a final cough.
"...No. Knew... it you. When complain... being two." Barfy chitters -- it's thick with buzzing and weird bug-noises, but it's words.

Anon slowly looks up from behind his hands, eyes wide, slack-jawed.

Then she barfs on his face.

Author's Note