The Grand RariShip Council
The Council Is In Order (Fashionably Late)
Once upon a time, Twilight Sparkle did what could be called a pretty severe ‘oopsie’ and created a multidimensional space where ponies from across all universes could meet up. What was initially considered the precursor to the end of the known universe soon became a happy accident when it was determined the space-time continuum would not collapse, and thus ponies across dimensions could meet repeatedly without consequence.
Among the many councils that were formed after the joining of the universes was one dubbed “The Prime Rarityship Council” which consisted of five Raritys who all had one single factor in common—they were all dating a member of their immediate and closest friend group.
The following is the start of one said council meeting. Only the first half-hour is presented, on account of time, for said council’s meetings usually run for a week at a time. They are endless, for if Rarity has one universal trait, it’s that she simply cannot stop talking.
Ahem!
The first to arrive was the Rarity dating the aforementioned Twilight Sparkle. Rarity or, for ease of convenience, Raritwi was usually the first one there, a fact which greatly annoyed her.
“Really!” she huffed when Rarishy walked in twenty minutes late. “I know we all love being fashionably late, but this is just rude. Rude!”
“Now, now, darling, not all of us are dating the Queen of Punctuality,” Rarishy replied leisurely, taking her spot next to Raritwi. “Remember what we talked about patience and understanding? The others will be along as soon as they are able to.”
Indeed, another arrived just a few moments later.
Rarijack arrived, glasses and three large jugs of cider floating behind her. “Why if it isn’t my favorite darlings!” she exclaimed, sitting next to Rarishy. “Has our dear Raritwi complained about us being late again?”
“It’s rude!” Raritwi exclaimed, ignoring Rarishy’s giggling. “If I were that late to all my meetings with my advisors, my Equestria would be in chaos! In shambles!”
Rarijack snorted. “The meetings you expressly complained about having to attend when they only really need Twilight?”
“I’m a queen! I need to make a show of presence.”
“Queen-consort, honey,” Rarijack replied, laughing at Raritwi’s scandalized harrumph. “Or are you still choosing to—” She looked at Rarishy. “What did she say again?”
Rarishy laughed. “Elect to ignore that fact?”
The arrival of Raripie silenced Raritwi’s immediate protest, cheerfully walking in with several different baskets of muffins floating behind her. “Hello, everydarling! Rejoice, for your favorite Rarity is here!” she exclaimed, placing the scrumptious treats on the table. “Terribly sorry I’m late, by the way! Pinkie and I were busy with the shop today what with the upcoming food festival.”
“Not at all,” said Rarishy and Rarijack, both sharing an amused look at Raritwi electing to pour herself some cider and nothing else.
“Now, let’s see…” She pushed one basket towards Rarishy. “Vegan strawberry muffins for you!” Then one towards Rarijack. “Applecobbler for you!” And then towards Raritwi. “Sugarfree rose for you!” And the rest she put near herself and the remaining empty seat. “And vanilla-chocolate for me and Raridash.”
“Well! We should start without Raridash,” Raritwi announced promptly, eager as always to share news and gossip. “She’s always late, regardless, and we have much to discuss.” She pulled out a binder from her saddlebag and leafed through it, hmming as she did so. “Let’s see… where did we leave off last time?”
“Oh! Before we start,” said Rarishy, reaching into her own saddlebags. “I’ve brought you all presents!” She took out several knitted sweaters of different colors. “Winter is coming, after all. They’re all labeled so grab yours.”
"Ooooh!"
The sweaters came in different sizes to accommodate the differences between them. It was a bi-monthly tradition to bring some article of clothing, and it had led to many cozy meetings. It also led to a difficult but important meeting once when Raripie didn’t fit into a medium like the rest of them. Tears were shed, anxieties were voiced, and Raripie came out of it empowered and glowing after it being drilled into her that she was a Rarity and was therefore always impeccably, impossibly beautiful no matter what.
Once they were all snug in their sweaters, Raritwi continued: “Wonderful! Now, last time, we were debating how many crimes we should allow Fancy and Fleur to get away with before we have an intervention! I think we were debating between grand larceny or embezzlement. Oh, and on that topic, I’d like to remind you all that we have a dinner with the Fancy Fleur Rarities next week.” She gave them all a hard stare. “Do not be late. We’re starting to have a reputation, and I will allow it no more.”
A collective groan ensued around the table, which she did not care for, and especially less so when a very dusty, sooty Raridash walked in.
“Well, well, well!” Raritwi exclaimed. “Look who’s finally here.”
“Don’t,” Raridash replied. “I am in no mood for it.”
“What in Celestia’s name happened to you?” Rarijack asked, watching as Raridash plopped herself down on the remaining empty chair and immediately started eating muffins. “And please eat with your mouth closed.”
“I shan’t say,” Raridash replied, curtly. “I do not want to deal with your comments.”
“Comments?” Raripie asked, concerned. “Darling, this is a judgement-free zone.”
Rarijack snorted. Loudly. “Is it? Well! It certainly wasn’t when I told you all I was having my wedding at the family barn.”
As three other Raritys looked away, Raripie said to Raridash, “Comments? Darling, this is a mostly judgement-free zone!”
“Really! I can’t believe it!” Rarijack insisted. “How come none of you said anything when Rarishy here got married at their cottage surrounded by literal wild animals!”
In complete unwavering unison, the rest replied, “Fluttershy is allowed to have her wedding wherever she wants.”
Defeated, Rarijack slumped in her seat. “...Yes, she is.”
“Well, fine,” Raridash said, wiping soot off her face. “If you all must know, my wife set fire to our kitchen.” And just as four aghast, scandalized mouths opened, she slammed her hoof on the table. “I said no comments!”
Author's Note
Commission for the ever lovely Dimbulb.
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