Rarity's Missing Friendship Problem

by ThePinkedWonder

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Rarity, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 1256

The Cutie Map summoned Rarity to a lake to solve a friendship problem. If only there was a friendship problem around to solve.

Rarity was summoned by the Cutie Map to Ponyville's park, solo. However, there were no friendship problems in sight; the only thing that seemed to be waiting for Rarity was a lake.

According to Princess Twilight, the map was functionally normally, so there had to be something going on for the magical map to take action. Or could a certain troll be at work?

EDIT: Now has an audio reading here by RainbowInfinityReadings

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s2A6P0U-Y54

Published 2024-01-29 18:10:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-01-29 18:10:00 UTC

Or was there a friendship problem?

Not a bad day to visit Ponyville’s park. A great day in fact.

Blue, if not cliché skies watched from above. A few isolated fluffy clouds failed spectacularly to block the sun. The heat from the friendly sun seeped into Rarity’s hair as she lazed about on her fainting couch – yes, she did sometimes use it when her drama queen button was turned “off” – near the park’s clear, calm lake. Her mane flapped from the pushing of a gentle breeze greeting her. The unicorn couldn’t ask for more pleasant weather than this.

But where was that friendship problem?! Her waning patience demanded action!

Rarity stretched her forelegs and let out a deep, boredom-packed yawn. “What is going on?” She peeked at her pulsating Cutie Mark. The ponies she had talked to or observed showed no indications of friendship issues. “Perhaps I misjudged where the map wanted me to go?”

It was possible. Then again, the Cutie Map, despite possessing seemingly omniscience, might not have anticipated Rarity to arrive at her appointed place so quickly. To play it safe, Rarity told her boredom “not now" and stuck around a little longer.

A little longer later…

“All right, that’s enough.” Rarity stood up from her couch. “I must be in the wrong place after all.”

She started to trot toward the distant Castle of Friendship/Princess Twilight’s castle. However, she came right back after a minute bearing a meek smile. “Oops,” she said to her couch. “I almost forgot to take you back home first.”

Once again, the pony trotted off, this time levitating her couch behind her in her magic.

In the throne room of Princess Twilight's castle…

“I just don’t understand,” Rarity said as she stared at the Cutie Map. Indeed, an image of her Cutie Mark was tightly circling the section of the map displaying Ponyville’s largest lake, where she had been patiently waiting. “I stayed at the park for at least three hours, but everypony I saw was getting along well. One couple even got along a little too well.” She shuddered at an uninvited memory of the previously mentioned couple’s…passionate moment. “Honestly, new couples really should be mindful that other ponies don’t appreciate hearing such noisy kissing.”

Princess Twilight slowly looped around her map, searching for any anomalies. “This is most perplexing. Are you sure nopony showed any hints of disagreements?”

“I am sure.” Rarity thoughtfully set a hoof on her cheek. “Well, I suppose I might have missed a hint or two. I was careful to not risk becoming too nosey, so I didn’t ask too many questions if they seemed to be okay.”

“Heh heh, you’re better than the ‘ol egghead is at that,” Rainbow Dash quipped as she strolled into the throne room. “She would happily be the Princess of Nosiness if it meant solving a friendship problem.”

“Hi, Rainbow, and no I wouldn’t be that bad,” the Princess of Nos–uh, Twilight said as she continued her ongoing map examination.

“Suuuure you wouldn’t.” Rainbow gazed toward the map and spotted the image of her friend's dancing Cutie Mark over it. “Hold on. Is that your Cutie Mark flying over the map, Rarity? You've been wanting the map to send you on a friendship mission since it hadn't called you lately.”

“It is, and I have. The map is telling me to go near a lake at the park, but everypony there was fine and happy.”

“The map appears to be functioning perfectly, so this makes no sense.” Twilight ceased her map circling. “It summoned you, Rarity, but I could accompany you to the park and help find anything amiss. It should be okay if I don’t assist any further than that.”

Rainbow flew closer to the map. How a single pony’s Cutie Mark spiraled tirelessly over it finally registered in her mind. “Wait, it really called for just Rarity?”

“Yeah,” Twilight answered. “We were surprised too since only Starlight had ever been called alone to solve somepony's friendship problem.”

“But I thought the map also called Spike by hims–oh, I forgot." Rarity eeked out a sheepish titter. "You said it was his own friendship problem he had to fix, but that can’t be the case for me. I am certain I haven’t caused any problems today.”

"I wonder...?" Rainbow stared closer at the map and took special notice of where it was summoning Rarity. A grin curled onto her lips. “I have an idea. Rarity, let me tag along with you instead.” She turned to Twilight and added, “Before you be a nag again, Twi, I won’t butt in on any friendship problems we see.”

“I guess it wouldn’t hurt. I’ll stay here and brainstorm for more ideas in case whatever you’re planning fails,” Twilight said, but pouted internally, ‘And I’m not a nag. I’m just a cautious pony.’

“Are you ever going to tell me your idea?” Rarity asked as she followed Rainbow back to Ponyville’s park, approaching its lake.

“You’ll find out soon. Just trust me.”

The two mares reached the lake in question and stood about two ponies’ length from its edge. Rainbow pointed to the body of water. “First thing’s first: step closer to the lake.”

“Fine.” Rarity stomped further ahead until her hooves stopped just short of the lake’s water. She peeked toward the water and asked, “What now?”

“Just stay still and wait. I’m gonna try something.” Rainbow zipped away in a rainbow-colored blur.

Ten seconds later, Rainbow zipped back in another blur and halted behind Rarity. She held a pin in her teeth.

‘I always wanted to do this.’ Rainbow leaned her head to Rarity’s flank (yeah get your “dat flank” jokes out of the way) and drove her pin’s sharp end right into the flank before her.

“OW!” Rarity sprung forward in a massive pain-powered leap. She crashed into the lake with a splash, shooting ripples throughout the water.

Rarity shot her head out from the water, wearing a scowl over her eyes. “Hey! Rainbow Dash, what is the meaning of this?! Explain yourself this instant!”

Rainbow spat her pin onto the ground. “If my idea worked, you’ll understand once you fish yourself out and see your Cutie Mark.”

While grumbling quite unladylike words under her breath, Rarity swam out of the lake. She shook herself off, firing drops of water from her mane and coat out every which way, then turned her head toward her Cutie Mark. Said Cutie Mark had lost its flashing.

Her apparent plan successful, Rainbow smiled in smugness. “Yep, I knew it.”

“What’s this? My Cutie Mark isn’t glowing anymore, but I didn’t solve any friendship problems.”

“There was no friendship problem. Remember last week when you said the map should stop being so picky and send you on more friendship missions? You even joked that it became too lazy and can’t form your Cutie Mark anymore.”

“Yes, but I don’t–” Rarity’s pupils widened. She gritted her teeth. “I understand now, and honestly, Map! Ordering a mare to go jump into a lake for a few little unflattering comments is SO uncouth!”

Back in Twilight’s castle, in her library…

*laughing*

“Uh, Spike?” Twilight asked, sitting on her couch with an open book lying by her. “Do you hear laughing coming from the throne room too, or am I going crazy?”

“You’ve been crazy, but I hear it too.”

Author's Note

Raise your hand if you thought it was Discord messing with Rarity.