The Anarchist Train

by Udahyas

Rating: teen
Tags: Zebra, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Profanity, Slice of Life
Length: 4417

A train of incredible size, both in length and height, moves along the railways of Northern Zebrica. There are many creatures of all kinds living on it. And this is a story that tells about an ordinary day of one resident of one of the carriages.

A train of incredible size, both in length and height, moves along the railways of Northern Zebrica. How long has it been moving forward? Where does coal come from to keep the train moving? Who is the driver? What happens if this train collides with another one? Is unknown

However, it is rumored that each carriage is an absolutely unique society. The only connection between them is not love for any power. One zebra has relatively recently joined the habitat on this train. And this is his most ordinary day here. Well, maybe a little unusual. Just a little bit.

Published 2024-01-29 14:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-01-29 14:00:00 UTC

Train of Madness

Oh, how my back hurts. However, just like always.

The first thing I realized when I started to wake up was the pain and turned over with a groan. I'm not even sure I slept at all. I fell asleep with back pain and now I wake up with it. Maybe I just adapted at some point?

I don't know why, but I ran my tongue over my teeth. One is missing. Oh, which sick pony created this cheese? It was definitely some kind of bourgeois!

Unfortunately, my thoughts were interrupted by a familiar voice that said: "Stand up."

His name is Moving Forward. And he really likes to bother me. A sick old stallion.

In response, I only opened my eyes for a moment, but when I saw the bright light, I quickly closed them, trying to go back to sleep. Unfortunately, this did not prevent Moving from saying again, slightly pulling off the blanket from me: "Stand up."

With a yawn, I pulled the blanket back on and said, rolling over, "No."

"Stand up!" Moving repeated this time with some irritation. Uh, if I say something logical, will he back off?

Yes, for example, something suitable to the spirit of this place.

I opened my eyes for a moment and said when I saw the bright light: "It's too early! And in general, anarchy is the mother of order! "

Suddenly, I felt the blanket pulled off me and Moving sang deafeningly loud: " Stand up, all victims of opposition, for the tyrants fear your might! "

Covering my ears with my hooves, I squeezed my eyes shut and answered loudly: " Okay, okay, I'm getting up! Just don't yell like that! "

In response, Moving laughed briefly and jumped to the floor before saying, " Well, are you planning to work for the benefit of the team today?"

Uff.

I rubbed my ear lightly with my hoof and said, sitting up in bed: "You know, when some pony stood in front of an extra-long train and said that communism had already been built here, I expected the best place in the whole world. Not this one."

When I finished speaking, I pointed my hoof around me. Ancient beds, a creaking train and a lot of conversations from the hallway. Moving, in response to all this, simply patted me on the head with a hoof and said as if he were communicating with a child: "Poor little kid, his ideological beliefs were based at best on propaganda posters and he believes in them so blindly. It's a pity that a little zebra named Narrow Mahogany didn't know about theoretical literature."

It's useless to argue with him, he's right. I shouldn't have agreed to take this train at all.

I covered my muzzle with my front hooves and asked reluctantly: "Can I at least have breakfast? Drink coffee, eat something, all that. It's hard to work on an empty stomach."

In response, Moving just laughed and said covering his mouth with a hoof: "Actually, no group on the first floor has coffee with them. For such luxury items, you'd better go to the second, bourgeois floor."

Ugh, the damn deficit. And the damn device of this train. Why are all the left-wing anarchists on the first floor and all the others on the second!? And most importantly, where the Tartarus is the entrance to the second floor!?

Gritting my teeth, I held back a wave of anger and asked: "What kind of food do we have? Except for the vegetables that we grow."

"Partisan cheese, the advanced invention of the proletariat in the field of cooking."

"No, thanks, one lost tooth is enough for me." I replied by removing my hooves and looking at Moving with irritation on my face. A white earth pony with a red disheveled mane and possessing an impressive height. Do you know what the funniest thing is?

He's forty, and he looks absolutely fine. Not a single wrinkle.

"You just don't understand the essence of our special cheese. " Moving replied with a dismissive flick of his hoof.

" Well, enlighten me, O great leader of anarcho-communism. I asked sarcastically, rolling my eyes.

Unfortunately, he answered absolutely seriously: "The essence is extremely simple. If a spy gets here, he will most likely not refuse cheese, and this will give himself away. plus, he'll lose his teeth, which will demoralize him."

Well, yes, well, yes, spies.

Sighing, I finally stood up on all fours and rubbed my ear before saying with displeasure: "Anyway, be kind enough to promise me never to sing so loudly again. I think you can knock out all the windows with your voice."

"Actually, I've almost done it." Absolutely calmly replied Moving. Wait, what?

I turned around for just a second and saw that there were many cracks in the window in my room, but fortunately it did not break. Hm. He really needs to perform at the opera with such a powerful voice. Especially considering that his cutie mark is a red treble clef made from various agricultural tools.

Hmm, sound of hoofsteps from the hallway. Come on, come on. Who's here?

I turned away from the window and saw that Moving was looking at me with a proud smile. Before my eyes could even begin to roll up, Pegasus ran into the corridor and said, breathing quickly: "Moving Forward, there's a situation! Very serious! I need help. "

This time, instead of joking, Moving nodded seriously and said calmly: " Okay, show me what the situation is. "

Pegasus nodded quickly in response and turned around before running again. Moving grunted and said, making a gesture with one hoof: " Well, follow me. Maybe you can also provide some benefit to the team. After all, you don't want to be a parasite, do you?"

Actually, I do. When I agreed to stay here, I expected exactly this.

Sighing, I just followed him and asked, looking around: "I'm more interested in why, when any problem occurs, everyone turns to you. Are we really anarchists?"

Moving only chuckled slightly in response before replying, "Well, you know, everyone turns to me because I'm the oldest here. Like, I'm old enough to be a father to most of you! Besides, if someone doesn't want to involve me, then they have every right to do so. There is no hierarchy here. And to tell you honestly? It's not like you have to work for the good of our community. It's just a recommendation that you don't look like a black sheep. Ha."

Ha, ha, I'm the only zebra on the whole train. Very original.

Rolling my eyes, I replied even without looking at the Moving: "Mind you, with your color, you look more like a sheep."

In response, he just grunted and continued walking forward. I followed him, and my gaze began to wander. There were many compartments on the train, the door to almost every one of which was open. In the first, several ponies grew various products, such as cucumbers, tomatoes, berries, and so on. Yes, it is thanks to them that we are not starving now. The second compartment was surprisingly close, but purple light was coming from under the door. It feels like Ina shouldn't find out what's inside. In the third compartment, there was the only unicorn on the whole train who was lying reading a book. But I was much more interested in what was on his desk. Bread with melted cheese.

I quickly ran inside this compartment and asked putting my front hooves on the table: "Can I eat this?"

It's a little rude, especially considering that I've never talked to him. I don't even remember his name.

The unicorn looked up from the book and looked at me in embarrassment, which I took advantage of to examine him. He had poisonous green hair and hair the color of water. When my examination was over, the unicorn looked at me and asked: "Have you eaten today?"

"I just woke up. " I replied instantly.

The unicorn nodded slightly and said with a wave of his hoof: "Okay, the bread should have stale anyway because of being in the sunlight for so long. But, you know, according to everyone's needs, right?

From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs. How I love the second part of the motto, and I hate the first.

I nodded slightly and reached for a kind of sandwich before stopping and asking, "Wait, did you melt the partisan cheese in the sunlight so that you could somehow eat it?"

"Yeah. I'm a physicist. The only physicist on this train, by the way. Didn't you know about it?" The unicorn asked, slightly embarrassed and even putting his book aside.

"I didn't know. My name is Narrow Mahogany. And you?" I asked, taking a step forward and extending my hoof. I hope that sounds polite enough.

"My name is Rapid Rate. Nice to meet you, it's a pity that we didn't meet when you first got here. I guess I was busy then. " The unicorn replied with a thoughtful look and didn't seem to be very interested in me. He's just being polite. Hmm, I expected him not to be so calm. Maybe I need to communicate with someone on this train at least. After all, this place is my home. At least until the next stop.

Yes, it sounds good. Especially considering that I've been living here for a month or more.

Sighing, I grabbed a sandwich with my hoof and, heading out of the compartment, said: "See you later, Rapid. And thanks for the food!"

He didn't say anything in response to which I shrugged and took a bite of the sandwich. Yeah, partisan cheese is still uber hard and bread too. But this is at least some kind of variation. I'm already tired of eating just vegetables. And this is almost a dish!

With a small smile, I bit into the sandwich and continued walking down the corridor. Moving, it seems, has already passed in the place of the so-called incident. After swallowing the last piece of sandwich, I continued to walk forward while looking around. But Moving was not seen anywhere. And judging by the open door, the incident occurred somewhere on the border between the cars. Oh.

Well, nothing bad can happen, right?

In the end, I took a single step to the border between the cars and looked to the left. A huge desert with no hint of any life. Only the scorching sun. I don't even want to imagine the working conditions of the people who built this road.

"Well, everything seems to be fine... Oh." I said, but stopped when I looked to the right. A large iron object was attached to our carriage, on which there was a red timer, judging by which we had ten minutes left. Next to the alleged bomb were Moving and Pegasus who called on him here.

"So, let's summarize. You were going to take a piss, but you saw this? And you have no idea how it got here? Moving asked slowly, leaning towards the bomb.

Pegasus only nodded quickly in response, which caused Moving to sigh heavily. After a couple of seconds of silence, he looked at the next car and said: "It was definitely arranged by the syndicalists from the next carriage."

Hm?

"Yes, that's right, it's them!" hissed Pegasus angrily, shaking his hoof towards the carriage in front of him.

"Damn syndicalists, traitors to all folk ideals!" The tall stallion who suddenly appeared next to me said furiously. Are you seriously deciding to do this right now!? We have a bomb here!

Despite my mental outrage, more ponies began to approach the scene and swear at the syndicalists. After a while, I even felt awkward. It seemed that the whole train had gathered nearby and was coming up with more and more offensive swear words towards the syndicalists. I need to say something.

"Uh, uh, yeah! Damn syndicalists, they never go into a fair and just fight! " I shouted, leaning my front hooves on someone's back to tower over the rest of the crowd.

A second after the words left my lips, everyone stopped and looked at me with embarrassment. Especially, the one whose back I was leaning on looked at me with embarrassment.

Did I do something wrong? Or did I say something was wrong?

Shaking my head, I slowly lowered myself onto all four hooves and looked up at the sky so as not to collide with anyone. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, the ponies slowly began to disperse to their compartments. That is, no one is going to stay clear the bomb. Oh.

When most of the ponies had dispersed, I looked at the bomb and saw that there were only eight minutes left. Oh shit, not good.

I looked at Moving and demanded rearing up to be taller: "Well? Do something! Or are you going to keep standing there and swearing!?"

In response, Moving also reared up and thus became significantly taller than me again. Oh, oh, it was just a joke. Swallowing, I dropped to four hooves, but continued to look at the interlocutor with irritation. In response, he just looked behind me and beckoned to someone with the words: "Hey, Rapid, can you come over? Your abilities will come in handy here.

Oh, so he's one of the few who didn't leave? How fortunate and convenient.

In any case, Rapid walked past me and froze at the sight of the bomb attached to the carriage. Despite this, Moving asked calmly: "Is there anything you can do about it? It is advisable to clear mines."

"I'm a physicist, not a minesweeper!"

"Can you do that, or not?"

Rapid sighed and lit his horn before saying, "I'll try my best."

Come on. You will succeed. I don't want to blow up!

Slowly but surely, I began to feel the tension in the air and began to get nervous myself. At this time, Rapid carefully removed a piece of metal from the bomb and exposed what was going on there. A lot of strange circles that spun at different speeds. Judging by their bright blue light, I dare say they are magical.

Seeing this, Rapid stood for a couple of seconds before turning away and saying: "I give up, it's beyond my competence."

"But you're a unicorn!" I said, pointing with my hoof at his horn.

"So you think any unicorn is an expert in magic?"

"Well. . ."

"This is racism." Rapid coldly interrupted me with a blank look. Before I could say anything, he walked past me and headed for his compartment. First of all, why is it so damn fast? And secondly, yeah.

It was awkward.

I looked at Moving in search of an answer or at least some stupid joke. After a couple of seconds of silence, he said with a wave of his head: "You've probably already guessed that Rapid has a complex because he's the only unicorn on the train. I will say more, he wore a hat for a very long time to hide the horn. But don't worry, he can't hold a grudge."

I nodded with some gratitude before looking at the bomb and seeing that there were only six minutes left! Starting to panic, I looked at the bomb, then at Moving before asking fearfully: "And what should we do!?"

Moving paused for a moment before asking, "You're kind of from the slums, aren't you?"

A shudder went through my body at the mention of it. I'll never go back there. Noticing my reaction, Moving nodded slightly and made an assumption: "Judging by how badly you stand on end and how little muscle you have, I can assume that you, comrade, are a good diplomat. Otherwise, you wouldn't have survived in the slums. Am I right?"

But how is he?

Seeing my confusion, Moving smiled and said, waving his hoof to the left: "Open the shield, it's time for you to use your skills."

My gaze slowly moved to the left and I saw a rusty shield very similar to an electric one. Ignoring my embarrassment, I grabbed a special handle with my hoof and opened the flap. It was inside. . . Lots of paper cups with threads?

That's what kids do, isn't it?

While I was confused, Moving pointed with his hoof at one of the cups and said: "Just in case, each car has a connection with another car. It was the idea of the anarcho-capitalists. Their advantage is that we have to provide them with some food for each month while this phone is working. It is installed, in case someone, well, throws away pride and asks for help on the basis of anarchic solidarity. "

" And should I just take a cups and start asking for help with the bomb? " I asked, raising an eyebrow. Doesn't sound too reliable. What if they're still sleeping in the car we're calling?

“Yeah. But you'd better say hello or something first. " Advised Moving with a slight smile. As if there wasn't a bomb behind it that would explode in the next few minutes.

It doesn't matter, Narrow, pull yourself together. You need to remember how you convinced the thieves not to attack you.

Sighing, I took the glass pointed at by Moving with one hoof and said awkwardly: "Um, hello?"

There was an awkward silence for a few seconds before a beautiful female voice answered from the other side: "Good afternoon! You have called the company " Universal Anarchist Train Call Reception Company". Do you need any help?"

I don't know why, but the outlines of the owner of the voice began to form in my head. Thin but tall, with long hair covering one eye, with half-closed eyes, with a moderate amount of makeup. Stop! Stop! Stop! The fact that there is not a single representative of the female sex in this carriage should not affect me! After taking a few deep breaths, I briefly looked at the bomb timer before saying, "We need help clearing the bomb. And quickly! We only have five minutes. "

" Okay, now we will transfer you to a specialist. There's going to be soothing music now. " A female voice answered on the other side of the phone before suddenly soothing music really started! But there was something strange about it.

It feels like music has two sources.

I took the cup away from my ear and looked up. From there, along with the sounds of footsteps, came the same music as on the phone. Do they really have a concert, in case of every call? Wow.

Suddenly, a tired male voice was heard from a paper cup: "Hello, good afternoon, I am your specialist Digit , you have called "Bomb Disposal company." "

"Uh, hello."

"Hello, yes."

"Well, you ask, what's going on with me?"

"Oh, yes! What is your problem?" A male voice asked before briefly bursting into laughter. That's funny to him. And I only have four minutes left.

It's okay, that'll be enough.

"Digit, are you an expert on what?" I asked, a little irritated.

"I... An expert on everything, buck. A man's voice answered, hesitating for a moment. Is he just kidding me?

I shook my head slightly before focusing on the bomb and trying to describe: " I have such a thing here, there are all sorts of circles, they spin at different speeds. And on top of all this is a timer with red numbers. Clearly threatening. "

On the other side, there were sounds of flipping pages and the question: " Okay, okay. But first, let's discuss the payment. In-kind exchange, work or cash? "

Are you kidding me!? You're literally on top of me! If the bomb explodes, you'll get it too!

I took a deep breath before saying as seriously as possible: "I'm ready to work. As long as it takes. But only after the service is completed."

There was the sound of another page turning followed by a calm reply: "Okay, okay. Do you see the central magic stabilizer? "

I looked at the bomb and not seeing any inscriptions about it, I asked: " Um, what does it look like? "

" I have no idea. There are no pictures here. "

" Mm, that's great."

Damn, damn, damn, we're all going to blow up! Why did I fall for this at all? I wish I'd stayed in the slums. At least I don't risk being blown up there!

I began to breathe rapidly. I feel like I'm going to faint. Oh, oh, oh. How much time is left? I briefly looked at the bomb. Two and a half minutes. Uh, uh, uh.

Suddenly, I felt someone touch my shoulder. It was Moving who gave me a calm little smile. Did it take away my panic? Not really. But thanks for trying. Now I need to pull myself together so that he don't make a stupid joke.

I took a few deep breaths and lightly tapped my chest before asking, "Um, is there any other solution?"

There were a few more page turns before the voice on the other side answered lazily: "Yes, I found it. It seems that your case of a bomb is very rare. It's a self-stabilizing bomb. This means that each of its magical elements has an effect on the neighboring one, causing it to slow down. Eventually, everyone runs out of energy and a big bang happens. Fun fact: this is the most destructive time bomb in existence."

Thank you, good sir.

"And now what should I do with this information!?" I asked irritably, almost shouting into the phone.

"Hush, hush. Self-stabilizing bombs are extremely powerful but unreliable. Well, as it is written in the manual. So, all you have to do is tear off one of the elements that has not finished rotating yet."

"Is that exactly how it works? And anyway, I have one minute left! I asked with suspicion in my voice and narrowing my eyes.

"Don't worry, you've called a specialist, everything is under control. Just tear off one of the rotating elements and there will be no detonation. The bomb contains how many elements must stop in order for an explosion to occur. And if at least one is missing, there will be no explosion."

Well, there's no choice.

I waved my hoof at Moving and whispered: "You're an Earth pony, so you have to be strong, right? No racism, but please tear off a piece of metal along with one of the rotating pieces. "

Moving frowned slightly and said turning to the bomb: " Advice for the future, try not to be so racist if you want to stay in this carriage. I don't think the anarcho-fascists will accept you. Well, because you're a zebra."

Maybe I shouldn't say anything at all? It'll be safer that way. And anyway, what he just said is it racist towards me or not!?

I rolled my eyes, deciding that such thoughts should be left for the future, and now I need to focus on the bomb. Moving reared up in front of the bomb and kicked in two places, next to one of the rotating pieces. The metal buckled under his force but did not break completely. Wait, maybe he could have just ripped the bomb off the body of the train?

No, I don't want to think about it. I couldn't be nervous for nothing. I sighed and continued to observe the work of the earth pony. He stuck his hooves through the holes in the metal and began to push further. Eventually, there was a characteristic pop and Moving grabbed a piece of metal with his mouth, on which a bright circle was still spinning. Just for a second, I saw a grin on his face before he abruptly waved his head and threw the metal far away.

Holding my breath, I slowly turned my gaze to the bomb. It was on it. . . Thirty seconds. Yeah, no last-minute clearance. Sighing, I took a paper cup and said: "Okay, the bomb is cleared. Thank you."

"I can't put it in the bank. I need a worker who is willing to work as long as he wants." The male voice on the other side answered categorically. Now he's finally getting serious. I took a deep breath.

It's time to apply a special technique. Thanks to him, I was able to survive in the brutal slums and not get a single scar. No one has been able to handle this technique yet. This is the peak of diplomacy.

"Well, that's it for now." I answered abruptly, putting the cup in the flap and slamming it shut, despite the accelerating heartbeat. Yes, this is the whole trick, this is an escape in fact. What did you expect?

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Moving's surprised but not shocked face. After a couple of seconds of silence, he cut through it saying, "Well, how do you feel after finally benefiting the team?"

I opened my mouth to say something, but suddenly my heartbeat quickened, forcing me to put a hoof on my chest. I tried to breathe deeply, but it didn't really help. With difficulty, I could only say, "It feels like a heart attack."

"Oh, I'm sure you're bursting with pride. " Replied Moving with a dismissive wave of his hoof.

Why is everyone laughing at me today!?

Instead of answering, I only managed to fall on the floor on my back and say irritably: "Go to Tartarus! My heart is really weak, it's not ready for such stress!"

Right after these words left my lips, I felt like I was passing out. Either I die, in the most ridiculous way possible, or I lose consciousness. I really hope for the latter, of course.

While my eyes were slowly closing, Moving calmly put a hoof on my neck before saying sheepishly, "It's okay. Your pulse is absolutely normal."

"Then what the hell am I... Oh, oh." I tried to answer, but suddenly lost consciousness.

Then he explained to me that I was able to convince myself so well that I lost consciousness.