Zielstrebig

by Lyssieth

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Original Character, Mystery, Adventure, Violence, Slice of Life
Length: 7032

An alicorn who has lost their memories and wishes to recover them. Experimental.

I suck at descriptions, even more so when I can't just answer specifics questions, but here I go:

A mostly first-person story from the POV of an alicorn who lost their memories. They wake up and seek to relearn who they are/were, and how the world works.

Cover image is drawn by me several years ago. The title is a german word, because I couldn't think of anything better 5 days ago (or now). Rating/tags are only for the current content, although it's likely I'll have to add more when I get there.

(hiatus: lost steam for the project, hoping to come back to it Soon:tm:)

Published 2024-01-30 17:20:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-02-07 16:58:42 UTC

1 - Vitality

…

……

………

An eerie silence, a gnawing darkness, and a near-complete physical numbness. Unknowing whether they were dead, they sought to force their eyes open, to get up and seek out some kind of safety. Unable to do so, they struggle to get up, only to collapse again, pain forcing its way into their senses, amidst the emptiness.

They try again, to force some kind of response from their body other than a dying gasp of strength. And… it fails again, collapsing to the ground once more. This time, with a muffled clatter of hooves, of someone landing on stone. They were alive, supposedly. Trying a third time, they manage to wrest some control over their body and open their eyes… only to close them again, dust and particulates having forced their way in.

They manage to get up as well, to pull themselves out from the miscellaneous rubble, to get some amount of motion. The hooves are clearer, the sound of someone, themselves, straining against the rocky, earthen restraints clearer than before. A gasp of air, followed by heavy coughing: their own.

Another pull, another collapse. They can't move for long, nor even really stand. They resign to pulling themselves along, one agonizing meter at a time. At least, it seems like a meter. It could be anything from a millimeter to a mile for all they care, as long as it's away from the rubble. Towards… somewhere. An escape, a way out.

In their brief blink of vision, they couldn't see anything. Despite having been in a place of light, even if artificial, there was now only darkness. Memories would have to come later, as they continue to struggle and crawl away. More coughing, ragged breathing; the air isn't very safe. It's full of particles, dust, spores, mold. Was it once a home? A voice in their head, theirs probably; a thought. They aren't sure. More crawling, but the sound of running water breaks the pattern.

Water. Quiet, but flowing. Splashing against something, splattering around, and then flowing more. They crawl towards it, inch by centimeter, unit of measurement by unit of measurement. Their dry mouth and throat yearns for the liquid of life. It gets louder, louder, louder, until splash, their hoof touches water. Cold, icy, flowing water. They manage another pull, and finally get close enough to drink, to wet themselves with this wondrous and bitter elixir, one tainted by the chaotic surroundings.

Author's Note

Starts in third person, but not for too long. Characters' thoughts and speech and such are in their color, although I don't know what happens when multiple people with similar colors appear. We'll figure that out.

5 - Contact

They grunt and force themselves forwards, trying to pull themselves past the blizzard and towards anywhere there may be safety. Their hooves crush the snow beneath them, carrying them through the cold. A cold which is starting to pierce their coat, and their feathers. Creeping into their body as a slow, unstoppable force.

As they continue, the cold creeps further into their core, and the wind starts to become a threat to them. Their wings trail along their sides in the snow, too weak to lift them. A particularly heavy gust of wind throws them onto their side, into the snow. They yelp and struggle a bit, rolling back onto their torso to get up again.

A yelp that was heard, voices shouting from behind the blizzard. Quiet, barely audible, but there. They tense up and turn to face them, before trying to make their way through the blizzard towards them. They yell loudly, the idea of saying anything not coming to their mind as escape feels so close. A rock finds its way in front of a hoof, and they stumble, finding themselves on the ground as two figures emerge from the snow.

Two creatures similar to her, one without wings and the other without a horn. Both of them are wearing thick wraps of some kind, with only a few parts of their body visible. Both seem surprised to see the creature in front of them.

“A-an alicorn?” One mutters quietly, a mellow low voice. “I-I don't recognize you, who… who are you?”
The other remains quiet, though their horn starts to glow, and the blizzard seems to recede from the surroundings, winds buffeting against a silver wall of some kind.

Looking down at the ground, I sigh softly. “I-I… don't k-know.” I stutter, looking back up at the two, my voice gravelly and weak. I try to stand up again.

They back away a little. “D-don't know?” They ask. “H-huh… Sylv, should we take them back to the lodge?” They ask their companion.
The silent one nods a bit.

I look at them somewhat warily. “L-lodge?”

“Oh, uh, we have a… small resort lodge in the area. Not far away, it's warm, it should be… safe.” They smile a bit, stepping closer. “L-let me help you.” They speak softly, warmly even.

Shivering, I step closer, and they pull up close, crawling under my wing to help support me while wrapping theirs over me for warmth. I lean on them perhaps a bit too much, but they seem willing to put up with it.

The two start guiding me towards the 'lodge', wherever that may be.

Author's Note

FRENS!

6 - Safety

They mostly stay quiet while carrying me to their lodge. The strange silver barrier holding back the blizzard follows us. I wish… I knew what that was, I think to myself, looking around. Trees start to form in the blizzard, and soon a larger structure: the aforementioned lodge.

I stare at the building quietly, while being brought to the door. The silent one unlocks it, and heads inside first, after which the mellow one brings me in behind them. They bring me over to a couch, letting me rest while they start removing their outer layers of clothes. The silent one keeps a tight scarf on, though, and it's unclear why.

“So, uh… do you remember anything? Where'd you… come from, anyway?” The mellow one asks, sitting down beside their standing friend.

I pause for a moment, then shake my head a little, as if to clear my thoughts. “I'm… not sure. T-there was a cave, a structure of some kind, I… was under some rubble when I woke up. My memories a-are… not here, I…” I sigh, shivering a bit. “I-it's dark.” I curl up a little, despite the warmth in the air I'm still feeling cold.

'Sylv', the other creature, goes off to grab something, though I keep watching the quiet green-tinted one. A blanket suddenly falls on top of me, and I flinch, struggling against it for a moment before I realize what it is. “O-oh… thank you…” I mutter softly, somewhat embarrassed.

Sylv smiles a bit and heads away again.
“She's gonna make some tea, it'll help warm you up.” They say softly. “She's Sylvia, I'm Riva. She can't speak, so I'll speak for her… we'd rather not go into that for now.”

I nod at Riva, sighing a bit. “I-I…”

“Yeah, I know you… don't know what your name is. Just… relax for now. I'm sure your memories will come back in time.” Riva's optimism is pleasant in the doubt and fear that's been through me for a while, but I can't help but be doubtful despite this. Something feels… weird. Like a dream or a fantasy…

I sigh and nod a little, wordlessly thanking them. “S-so… what are you?” I ask, after a moment of a kettle's hiss in the background.

Riva chuckles somewhat cutely. “I'm a pegasus, Sylv's a unicorn, you're an alicorn. Ponies, as a… more general term. There's also earth ponies who have neither a horn nor wings. And… others, but those are the most common four, in this area anyway.” Riva explains. “It… as been a while since we've heard of or seen a… new alicorn, though. None who I know of look like you.”

10 - Advancement

After breakfast, we get started. Through Riva, Sylv does her best to explain the basics of magic, and how to draw upon it. I seem to be a natural, as I succeed on the first try, my magic apparently a desaturated red. Sylv levitates over a small metal set of cubes, some kind of decorative piece, and starts guiding me on 'telekinesis'.

This also doesn't take long for me to get right. It seems that as I get taught, memories are coming back, as well as the magic equivalent of muscle memory. I get to see my own magic after a bit, and it truly is a desaturated red. Not the more vibrant red from my dreams… although I don't focus on that.

After a while of learning telekinesis, Sylv smiles a bit. *I was expecting you to learn slower, but it's nice to see you learn.* A quiet voice appears in my mind, and I flinch. “W-wha-?” Sylv giggles silently, while the voice in my mind giggles vocally. *I'm Sylvia, this is telepathy. I… figured you were ready.* Her voice is very pleasant, and warm.

“Glad to see that you can speak directly now.” Riva chuckles. “It was getting difficult being a voice for Sylv.” They take a sip of tea, relaxing. “I'll leave you two to it. I'm gonna go to town and get some more food.”
Sylv nods, and looks back to you. *Telepathy is a directed form of communication, and although it can be broadcast, unlike a voice only the intended recipient or recipients can hear it.*

Riva gets dressed and leaves, while I stay behind with Sylv. She continues teaching me magic, praising my rapid uptake. She teaches me basic protective magic as well, and demonstrates it by trying to throw one of the small metal cubes at my shield; it just bounces off.

“S-so, uhm…” I speak quietly, releasing my magic. “I… was hoping to ask you something.”
*Hm? What is it?* Sylv asks.
“How did you lose your… v-voice?” I ask, somewhat embarrassed, feeling bad about asking such a thing.

Sylv sighs a little. *I'll try to summarize it.* She pauses for a bit, clearly dredging up unpleasant memories. *I was… a royal guard about ten years ago. There was an attack… on the queen, and the… entire c-castle, and I almost died to… protect her. Thankfully, the unicorns were able to save me… almost all of me, even. My voice is… was taken b-by an uncurable magical a-attack.*

I shiver a bit, closing my eyes. “O-oh…” I mutter softly. “I-I'm sorry… for b-bringing it up, and that… t-that happened to you.” I speak quietly,

Author's Note

Poor Sylv ;-;

15 - Air

After time spent eating fresh food and drinking tea with the two, I get up to head outside again. Looking at Riva, I speak up. “Could you teach me to fly? Or… help me remember?” I ask them.

They tilt their head, then perk up and nod. “Of course! It's gonna be great with snow, since it's so soft!” Riva seems pretty excited, and rushes outside ahead of me, despite my head-start.

I giggle a bit and follow, their excitable side quite fun. Syl seems to follow as well, whether to watch or provide help is unclear. I glance at the skies, then focus on Riva. “I might need a bit of… help, though.” I smile softly at the pegasus, trying to spread my wings a bit. They move at my command, but it feels… sluggish.

“Well, you probably haven't used them in a while, so I'm not too surprised.” Riva chuckles and approaches. “First off, just try stretching together, like this!” They stretch their wings out, at the same time stretching their legs as well. They've got clean and beautiful wings… Ones that I get caught staring at, since Riva looks up at me after a moment. “H-hey, stop staring and get to it already!”

I glance down a bit, then sigh to collect myself and try to follow. “A-alright.” I start to stretch out, first my wings and then my legs, trying to do it similarly to Riva. My own wings are messier, a bit more 'untamed'. But after a bit of willpower and effort, I can get them nice and stretched out.

“Now, let's just do some stretches. Just to get everything nice and warmed up, 'kay?” Riva smiles, starting to guide me, while performing some herself.

It takes a while, but my control over my wings seems to be increasing. The sluggish, somewhat unnatural feeling from earlier has vanished, and in general I feel better in my movements. Riva seems excited to help, and more excited to get me in the air.

With some more guidance, and using the log-pile outside as a ramp to get atop the roof of the lodge, I manage to glide down to the ground from there a few times. But, after those few times, I decide to try to actually use my wings for more than just gliding, and try to flap them, to try and fly.

I don't succeed; ending up chest-first in the snow. Laughing, I get up and smile at the others, both of whom seem joyous rather than distressed. Riva's laughing, and Syl's smiling warmly.

*Nothing hurts, right?* Syl asks me, and I nod at her, approaching the two.

“I wanna go again!” I exclaim, rushing up the makeshift ramp, hopping to the roof. Riva follows me up, this time to try and help me figure out where I'm going wrong.

Author's Note

I got hit with several migraines and a generally high amount of distractions this past week, so it was delayed more than I initially intended.

2 - Furtherance

The wondrous icy elixir wets their mouth, their throat able to make more than a gasping whisper. They cough and groan, pulling themselves closer with newfound energy. If they could find the source of this liquid, perhaps they could escape, but first… they must be able to use their eyes. They use their hoof to cup some water, splashing their face. It's icy, but the temperature is pleasing: a reminder that they are still alive.

They try to wash their eyes, to regain their sight. They blink, flutter their eyes, do their best to rid themselves of the grime. It takes some time, but they manage to gain a vague sight of their surroundings, the darkness full of noise and doubt. Figures moving that aren't there, rocks shifting in the lack of light. They try to follow the stream, using their ears and eyes to locate where it's coming from.

A staircase, leading further. They crawl towards it, drinking more as they do, their body receptive to it despite its uncleanness. They reach the stairs, and start to climb up. First they try to stand, but collapse onto the first step, its edge grinding against their ribs, pain shooting through their body. They shift, grunt, gasp, writhe from the sudden pain.

But, now they know. If they are to fall, to fall to the side, onto the step, not the edge. They try again, but only a single step, not to stand fully. Success is short-lived, but without pain. Repeating this, they make it to the top. The sounds are different. The water is still there, but there's something else. An eerie whistle, highs, and lows. The air is cold, but the ground is lukewarm. They crawl towards the sound, having no other source of direction.

A wall, or several, block their way. All this time, the stream seems to lead towards the sound. Is it wind? They think again, continuing their movement. Wind… wind means the surface, means light. Yet there's none, still. Continuing their crawl, they find something else other than the stream and the whistle. A howl, louder than the whistle. Not of an animal, though. Of wind, same as the whistle.

It guides them upwards, closer to… the surface? Are they underground? If so, how could this be a home, like they had thought? They have little time for this, and continue their painful crawl, slowly regaining their body. They start to feel more than their torso, their head, and their hooves. As they round a corner, they hit a protrusion from their head against the wall, followed by a sharp and immediate pain shooting through their body, worse than when they fell on their ribs. A loud, shrill screech echoes through the halls, leaving them behind… no, coming from them, as a reaction.

The pain doesn't leave for a while, but it leaves them paralyzed, unable to move for who knows how long. The sound of their making has been gone or a while by the time they manage to move again.

Author's Note

Horns are sensitive, y'all. At least, in this AU they are. I know that doesn't make sense. Shut it. :3

3 - Cold Hope

They move with more care, crawling towards the howling wind. This protrusion, a horn? They don't understand what this could mean yet. As they near the source of the howl, its source is above them. They try to stand, to reach for it, and their hoof brushes against something. Solid, yet frail, as a layer of cold material rains down upon them.

There's also the whiteness, a wave of pure light that pains their eyes, forcing them to shut them and pull back. They try to shake off the material, its cold worming their way into their body, collapsing to the ground once more. But they stood for longer this time, progress. This piercing and sudden assault on their eyes forces them to reel, but slowly they try to reopen. It's dark, barely light, but there's vision.

They can see the glistening white-cyan material that fell on them. They can see the shaft of light from the ceiling, a hole to the surface. Snow, or ice? They're unsure, but they try to crawl closer, to look up. Yet nothing's visible. Nothing but a moving fog, a hurricane of black and gray, nothing that helps them. But it's hope.

They look around, and spot their surroundings. Rocks. Dark, yet smooth, corridors: a constructed environment. The water wasn't coming from here, though, but back into the darkness. It must be coming from the surface, so they continue following it. But they stop after only a short distance, looking back at the light, over their feathers. They look down at themselves.

Feathers? Their thoughts are conflicted. They look like feathers, but why would there be feathers? They try to poke at them with a hoof, and feel themselves get poked; their own feathers, not… some kind of covering. The feathered creature crawls back towards the light, planning to use it to look at themselves. There's not enough water to form a puddle, to reflect, but they can still see what they can see.

In the darkness it's difficult to make out colors, but they do see a form. Feathers, hooves… a frail body, covered in fur. A tail made of long strands. They shiver from the cold, and crawl away from the light, drinking more of the water. The rock makes it bearable, but not near the light. The light is cold, despite being hope.

Instead, they return to the darkness, following the water, for it must be coming from the surface. It's gotten cleaner, fresher. No bitterness to it, no mold.

Author's Note

When originally written on my own website, whiteness was in a pure white. Can't really do that safely here, but my website is forced dark, so I could there.

4 - Outside

They find another set of stairs, these slipperier than the ones below. But still, they climb, further upwards towards the surface. They know it's not far now, and can see more light from the top of the stairwell. Drinking from water as they go, they start to manage multiple steps at a time, their strength returning ever-so-slowly.

Their hoof slips, and they hiss in pain as they hit the stairs. The air's colder, with the ground similarly chilled. They grunt and continue, more vocal now. Towards the light and the surface, they crawl and struggle. Until they reach the next floor, and see an opening to the right. A large opening, on the same level as their body: a goal.

They try to stand, but the ground is slippery, and they can't manage it for long, so they continue crawling. Their feathers make a good shield against the cold air, but the cold ground against their body has no such insulation. Still, with the frosty opening so close, they continue.

There's snow, and outside a maelstrom of chaos: snow and wind, a storm, a blizzard. With a soft grunt, they lean against the wall, trying to stand. Unlike the icy ground behind them, the snow lets them get some amount of grip again, and with the help of the wall, they stand, taking some tentative steps toward the outdoors.

The cold is immediate, the snow and wind buffeting their body. With the extra light, they can look back at themselves once more. The feathers are not just blankets, but wings. Limp, but with sensation, being covered in snow. A grayish color, it seems. Their coat is darker, almost black, sprinkled with snow by the weather.

Their hooves are red, dull, cracked, and damaged, but they still carry them forward. Looking back out across the blizzard, they decide to make their presence known, for whatever good it's worth. They yell into the void, an incoherent noise with no meaning until their voice gives out, and they return to silence. Unsure where to go, they decide to step into the blizzard, stumbling to the side as they learn to fight the wind.

They manage to walk, however. Nothing can be seen around them, but they continue forwards nonetheless. Keeping in one direction seems meaningless, the storm changing their path, their weakness causing them to stumble feebly, unable to fight it much. They fall onto their side in the snow, but get up, cold worming its way into their core. Still, they must escape, must escape.

Author's Note

I vibe with this weather.

7 - Comfort

The sound of the kettle has ceased, and only a moment later, Sylvia comes back with two mugs of tea, and an apple. She places the apple and a mug in front of me, while placing the other mug in front of where she was sitting earlier, then sits down there. Things move around her, strangely. Whenever they do so they're covered by that same silver energy.

“How is she… moving things without touching them?” I ask, curiously.

“She's using telekinesis, a type of magic, just like she uses telepathy to talk to me. I… suppose it'd be difficult to explain.” Riva sighs a bit, but remains smiling. “Take a sip, eat… you're probably hungry.”

I nod and lean forwards to sip from the mug. It's hot, but not uncomfortably so. I drink a bit, before examining the apple. I then bite in, with a satisfying crunch. Almost immediately, a strange feeling fills me… one I can associate with hunger. As if overtaken by it, I start savagely consuming the fruit, and in only a moment there's nothing left of it. I pause, blink, then shy away, embarrassed. “I-I…”

Riva giggles a bit. “Don't worry about it, we have more.” A group of apples floats over, silver magic bringing it over. Magic… I should… know what that is, right? My thoughts drift a little as I eat, more calmly this time. Things remain mostly quiet.

As I finish off the fourth apple, I drink more tea. Riva's been drinking slowly the entire time. I'm starting to feel tired, but want to at least finish what I've been given, so I continue eating. The apples are wonderful, with such vibrant tastes that I couldn't really stop even if I wanted to. And the tea is so rich, flavorful in such a unique combo.

Eventually, though, I finish everything. I yawn, unexpectedly. “I… I must be getting tired.” I mutter softly.

Sylv gets up, and heads for a doorway, while Riva watches me. “She's fetching you a pillow, you can rest on the couch. If something bothers you we'll be in the door not far from the fireplace,” Riva smiles a bit. “Let's hope you dream well. Maybe some rest will help recover your memories?”

I nod and thank Sylv as she returns with a pillow “H-have a good night.” I tell them, curling up and laying my head on the pillow. They turn off the magical lights, leaving only the soft and cold light from the outside. It's comfortable… warm. Relaxation and sleep come easily to me.

8 - Dreams

Author's Note

Content warning, but also a spoiler: cutiebug/changeling abuse

8 - Dreams

Flashes of light, a mix of green, red, and shades of both. A chaotic environment, in a cave. In front of me stands an… alicorn much like myself. Red eyes, large feathered wings, a messy mane and tail. Their horn glows with magic, and before I can react, the world around me explodes.

Standing in front of a mirror, I don't see myself in it. I see… another kind of creature. Covered in chitin and with wings made of thin membrane, strange holes filling their legs, a dull greenish-blue mane and tail, with green eyes staring back at me. An explosion takes my focus, and I look away, towards it. I rush towards the door, but am blown away as I get to it.

The alicorn appears again. Stepping closer to me. My body's covered in wounds, and seems to be made o the same chitin. The alicorn speaks in my voice, but says words I cannot comprehend. A shiver runs through me as they press their hoof against my neck, their magic being a powerful, crushing force. A force I couldn't fight if I wanted to.

Darkness fills the room lit only by the glow of my horn, and I'm looking down at the creature made of chitin. A crown lies on the ground distant from them, split in two. The creature lays dead, neck crushed and horn broken. I raise my hoof, it's covered in blood, glowing green. Stumbling, I lower it down and start to walk away, only or the ceiling to collapse onto me. The soft glow from my horn is replaced with darkness once again.

Something has changed, but I can't tell what. I'm back on the ground, staring up at the alicorn. Fear is apparent, knowing that I will die, but at the same time a deeper knowledge remains. That I will not die forever, even if I die here and now. The alicorn attacks, and darkness again fills the room.

I wake up startled, panicking as I look around the room, panting heavily. I feel cold despite the warm blanket and room. The room feels bright, like the darkness isn't an issue, unlike in the cave. Looking down at myself, my hoof is glowing green. I quickly get up and look for a room I could lock myself into… finding the bathroom I do just that.

Gazing into the mirror, I come to a realization. I'm the alicorn from my dreams… but my eyes are green. And in the blink of my eyes, and it goes away, the green glow is gone, and the room is dark once again. I shiver and shake my head, feeling around for the door. Stepping out of the bathroom, I head to the kitchen, trying to find something to drink. The sink… seems to operate with magic, but it seems either Riva or Sylv left a mug of water out. I drink from it, calming my nerves.

9 - Satisfaction

Going back to sleep on the couch, I can't help but think about my dreams. They were too vivid, too real. I keep thinking back to the green-eyed creature. Those defiant, vibrant eyes staring up at me, or those cold, aggressive and unrelenting red eyes staring back at them. I shut my eyes, curl up tightly, and try to force my thoughts away, but there's nowhere else for them to go. The blizzard outside leaves very little to think about, Riva and Sylv are still… enigmas to me, and the cave-structure is… a hive? The word pops into my mind, as my thoughts linger on it.

I should go back there, when… when I figure out how to… use magic. I sigh a bit, seemingly somewhat infected by Riva's optimism. 'When'…

This time when I sleep I don't dream of anything I can remember in the morning. Warm sunlight pours in through the windows, and when I wake I can hear the two others already doing things. They're clearly trying to be quiet, to let me rest, but my unintentional yawn lets them know I'm awake.

“Ah, morning, Red.” Riva giggles a bit, speaking from the kitchen. “We'll call you 'Red' until we figure out what your name is, sound good?”

“Y-yeah, that's fine.” I respond. “Uh, could you tell me about magic? I… I want to learn.” I try to ask them for help, not knowing whether they'll be willing to help me.

Riva pauses for a bit. “Uh, yeah, sure. Sylv's better at it than me of course, but given the… speech barrier I'll have to… speak for her.” Riva stretches out their wings, and smiles at me. “Is there anything… specific you want to know how to do?”

“L-light… and protection.” I say, stuttering a little. “And… maybe that… moving objects thing too.”

Sylv approaches and nods a bit, sitting on the couch opposite mine.
“She'll do it, but after breakfast.” Riva explains, joining her on the couch as a few plates of food and mugs of tea float over. Salads and simple foods, it seems.

I nod, with a soft smile, and eat with the two. Breakfast takes a while, but is relaxing, and brings my thoughts away from the chaos of my sleep.

11 - Discussion

*Did… you sleep well, Red?* Sylv asks me, tilting her head a little.

“H-hm? O-oh… not really? I… had a weird sequence of dreams. First I was… on the ground, staring up at myself… T-then I was staring into the mirror, b-but not as myself, then…” I sigh, unsure how to explain further. After a moment, I decide to change the topic a little. “What… kind of creature has… chitin? Insect-like, with… holes in their legs and… such?” I ask her.

Sylv gasps and leans back a bit, eyes widening in surprise. *Changelings? They… haven't been around for a century now. W-why… do you ask?*

“The… other creature in my dreams, the one I saw clearly. They… no, she had a dull, greenish-blue mane and tail, a dark chitin body, and… green eyes. Holes in her legs, and such.” I explain, watching her reaction.

Sylv shivers a bit. *T-that… sounds like their… queen, I think? I've only heard about her historically… someone who died during a… massive purge by Celestia and a few other… alicorns, a-as well as their royal army.*

“Because that's… almost certainly the one who I saw in my dreams.” I shiver a little, not sure exactly how I know this. “I don't… know how I know them, but… they're so vivid. I remember… explosions, green magic. A-and… death. S-so much death, I…” I look down, shivering more, then turning my head to look out the window, towards the distant mountain. “I-I need to go back to the cave.”

Sylv blinks, somewhat shocked by this. *S-so… you saw their queen? You… saw the purge? D-do you remember anything else? A-anything at all?*

I stay quiet, unsure if I should reveal the green glows, my own green eyes… I decide to keep it a secret, and guide the topic away. “I… I don't think I dreamt of much else, I… can't remember. I'd rather… go alone, but… I will go. So, u-uhm, let's get back to… magic? Please?”

Sylv sighs, yet nods. *Y-yeah, let's.* She smiles a bit, and goes on to further teach me about magic, focusing on reinforcing what I'd already been taught, but then going forwards with an offensive magic as well; a simple bolt to use in case I need it.

Author's Note

bug mom? probably :3

12 - Departure

After spending a while learning magic with Sylv, the desire to return to the cave has grown strong enough to overwhelm my desire to learn in safety. I get up, and smile a bit at her, stepping down from the couch. “I'm… gonna go now. I'll try to be back before evening.” I tell her.

*Be safe, Red. If you get into trouble just try and… wildly release magic. I'll notice.* Sylv speaks in a softer tone. *I… we'll come search for you.*

I nod at her, and head for the door, heading out into the snow. It's cold, but not unpleasant. With my wings wrapped gently around my body, I start walking towards the cave. Unlike when the storm was here, I can traverse the area without worry now. It's quite beautiful, flanked on either side by a forest of varied evergreens, there's a large snowy plain ahead of me, with a mountain in the distance.

The sun's to my right, and leaves the snowy ground glistening in its shine. I walk pretty quickly, mostly out of a desire to get there faster. But it still takes a while. Nearing it, the scale of the mountain is quite clear; it's huge. I search for the entrance to the cave, and spot it easily. There's a soft glow surrounding it, but I don't pay it mind.

I stop outside, there being no traces of yesterday's… events. Twenty-four hours have gone by, and yet the snow looks untouched by hooves. I sigh, and step further, carefully going down the icy stairs, deeper into the cave. My sight is strangely unimpeded, even though I've yet to start using magic to light my way. I blink a bit, in confusion, but continue. Just in case, I do light my way with magic as well, though it doesn't affect my vision any.

The cave seems to be completely ruined, with traces of a long and gruesome fight visible on the walls. There is no blood, no… trace of corpses, but the walls are stained by soot and residue, some areas partially caved in or otherwise in a heavy state of disrepair. I first try to find the room I woke up in, but looking around I can't help but feel familiar with the surroundings.

A soft shiver goes through my spine as I finally find the room. There's no trace of a corpse or anything, but the split crown is there, beside some rubble. I step closer to it, and it looks exactly like the one the… changeling in my dreams wore. Exactly like the one that was on the ground in my dreams, split in half.

I hesitate a little, but reach out to touch it. As my hoof nears it, a green glow wraps around it, and I jolt backwards. The glow's gone, but I feel drawn to the crown, but I remain hesitant, unwilling to touch it. With a sigh, I step away for now, though I know in my mind I'm likely to return. I decide to explore further, to try to find out what this place truly was.

13 - Exploration

Having left the crown behind for now, I continue to explore the rest. It seems that the… 'Hive' goes deeper still, but the stairways are all blocked by rubble, and aren't easily or safely budged. I return to exploring the lowest level I can, but eventually end up back at the crown, unsure.

With a heavy sigh, I reach out to it to poke it, my hoof's glow increasing as I near it, until I touch it and it vanishes. I tense up, but nothing seems to happen. “H-huh…” I mutter quietly as I step closer, lifting the split crown with telekinesis. “Was this… yours?” I ask softly, thinking back to my memory of the changeling on the ground. “O-or…” I shiver a bit. “I… don't know.”

I look over to where the queen had been laying in my dreams… I wasn't too distant from her. When I approach, I leave the crown where I picked it up from, as I try to lift some rubble, to try finding any trace of them. And I do… A skeleton, bones, and their hooves and horn. I shiver, taking a step back. Their neck is crushed, and their head is facing towards where I woke up.

I'm… not sure who you were. I think to myself, breathing quietly. But… I will find out who you were, and… perhaps give you a burial at least. I decide to cover up the bones with rubble, to hide them from anyone else. Turning to look at the crown, a frown forms on my face… before deciding to move it to rest alongside the bones. I… wish I knew. I sigh, turning around to leave.

Heading up to the next floor, I start to explore again. I end up finding some more traces of battle, but no more bodies. It seems that the only one that remained was the queen's, the rest… destroyed. I need to find a history book. Or… something. If this place was raided by 'Celestia', and… other alicorns, maybe I'm mentioned? I-if I… was there. My thoughts are somewhat scattered, but I keep exploring still.

I find some small trinkets by a table, and of them, a particular necklace stands out. It's very simple, a band of twine, and it holds up a simple four-sided shape, somewhat like an arrowhead, attached at the tip to the twine. I put it on, smiling a bit and leaving the room. Having finished my exploration, I head up once again, out of the cave and back into the snow.

The weather hasn't changed, but I had spent longer than I thought in the cave. With a sigh, I start heading back towards the lodge, feeling hungry, but now a bit more determined. On the way there, my thoughts drift back to the queen. Wondering what kind of person they were, what kind of… monster would attack them.

Was I a bad alicorn? Is a thought that comes up a few times, but I repress it for now. It's not something I could know the answer to at this time, not without knowing who I am, or if I was the same alicorn as in my dreams.

It's all a big mystery, for now.

14 - Return

I trot pretty calmly to the lodge, not certain on many things. I almost end up tripping a few times as I travel, my thoughts taking my focus away from safely travelling. Why would… Celestia attack them? Did they… do something? I get back after a while, to find Riva outside the lodge, circling back and forth. Clearly debating something with themselves.

When Riva spots me, they quickly run to me. “Red, what are you doing?! Why'd you go out alone?” Their voice is filled with concern, with… care for me. They wrap their wings and forelegs around me in a hug, tightly. It's like they don't want to let me leave.

I look down, embarrassed. “I-I… had to go back… to figure out what I'd missed.” I mutter somewhat quietly, but lean into the hug, it's pleasant despite the possibilities.

Riva frowns, looking at me. “You could've been hurt! You said it yourself that you were under rubble! I-it could've caved in! D-don't worry us like that!” They release the hug, pulling back a bit. They're pulling Sylv into her own worry despite the fact the unicorn was fine with me going, if… hesitant. Maybe Sylv was worried too.

“Sylv taught me h-how to protect myself… a-and how to let her know if I got… stuck. S-so I would've been fine…” I say quietly, made to feel like I'd made a mistake, but in my mind knowing I did the right thing going back alone. “B-but… there wasn't anything else there anymore. Just… this.” I poke at the necklace gently, looking up at the pegasus.

Riva looks at the necklace, tilting her head. They then glare at Sylv, but with a sigh turn to me again. “Nh, fine. Just be careful okay? And don't go back.” They turn to head inside, and I follow.

“O-okay.” I nod a bit, smiling at her before glancing past the couch towards Sylv, to see what she's up to.

*So, you're back? How'd it go?* Sylv's quieter voice meets me as I do so; she's in the kitchen packing away the food Riva's brought. There are also books on the table, ones that I don't remember seeing anywhere in here before.

“I… just found a necklace, and… nothing else.” I tell her as well. “So I won't be… going back a-again.”

Riva heads to the couches, and pokes the table, noticing my gaze over the books. “I loaned some books from the library. History, mostly. I wanted to comb through them for any mention of a dark and red alicorn.” Riva looks up at me, then back to the books. “I also asked the librarian, but uh… he said he doesn't recall any alicorns like you? He said he could be mistaken, but…” They sigh. “I'll try and find something about you.”

I nod as I walk past, glancing at the books. “A-alright, thanks.” I smile, heading to the kitchen.

*Are you hungry?* Sylv asks. *Or do you just want some tea?*

“Both would… be good.” I tell her, and sit down nearby, examining the kitchen again now that it's light out.