Doctor Whooves: Exile (Part 1: Crash Course)

Chapters

Chapter 1: Two Disasters with the Same Outcome
Chapter 2: Shoes and Boxes
Chapter 3: A Trip to Canterlot
Chapter 4: Violent Diplomacy
Chapter 5: And That's How the Universe Was Made!
Chapter 6: The Masochism Tango
Chapter 7: Red Sun Over Paradise
Chapter 8: The Gallifreyan and the Time Lord
Dear Celestia (Epilogue)

Chapter 1: Two Disasters with the Same Outcome

Author's Note

Decided to do a overhaul on this chapter's ending. It's a bit too exposition heavy as is, and we have been told it might drive away new readers, so it's been improved upon.

Chapter 1: Two Disasters with the Same Outcome

The Doctor was heartbroken.

His two best friends the 2nd incarnation of the Doctor had ever known- Jamie and Zoe, with a particular interest in Jamie- had just gotten their memories erased. All their adventures, all their love for each other, their entire friendship... It was going to be erased from their minds. Well, there was still hope. The Time Lords were not as competent as they'd wish others to believe, and there was a chance they didn't understand human biology well enough to actually erase their memories. It was a slim chance, but it was a chance nonetheless. Hence, he was heartbroken, but not... Heartsbroken. One heart felt the misery while the other pumped out hope that things could be made right.

Both hearts, however, beat faster with each new bit of information about his punishment, such as when he heard of his exile to Earth. While he did very much love Earth, and all the inhabitants therein, he liked it as a place to visit. He certainly didn't want to live out Rassilon-knows-how-many-years on a planet that was as slow to technological progress as it was. Not to mention he didn't know when. Sure, it was the "mid-20th century," but that could have meant any time from the 20s to the 80s! From the horrors of the great depression to the hopeless plague of the aids epidemic, that was the range of disasters facing him! It still could have meant sometime like the 70s, which comparatively weren't so bad, or even the 20s which at least had good parties if nothing else, so his hopeful heart still stayed true.

Then they said, ominously, that they would "change his face." That could have meant regeneration. A waste of a life, certainly, but he would only be on his third, as far as he knew. He couldn't help, however, but to think back to a warning a particularly nasty Time Lord, The Raven, had gave him. That she could take any one of his lives and turn him into her puppet. He resisted the urge to shudder at the thought, but he had also made it clear to her that he wasn't something to be trifled with either. Still, the fact that he couldn't tell if The Raven was near or not wracked his nerves worse than confronting a cyberarmy.

His worry of the Raven's involvement was cemented when he was told he'd get to choose his face. Certainly not normal for a regeneration. He still acted as if that were better, but that was mostly because whatever little time it it gave him was time to think up a plan, but after he rejected the first 5, four men and one woman, they revoked even that lousy excuse of a luxury. He noted the 4th face he was presented with in particular, a young black woman. It was a lovely face, yes, and it would definitely work out in terms of adjustment and his, or rather her, abilities. However, if they sent her to a time when people of a darker skin tone were still dehumanized and segregated against, with no access to the TARDIS or other gadgets, then she would have to deal with human bigotry, idiocy, stubbornness, and hatred. Frankly he'd rather be sent to Skaro. At least the Daleks had the excuse of being incapable of tolerance, and their strategies were perfectly predictable. And all of that ignores the fact that he genuinely didn't like how young she looked. She looked about 18 in human years. Not wise to willingly choose a regeneration so young and impressionable, he thought. He was glad he learned how to think these sorts of things in microseconds, because otherwise his racing hearts would have clouded his judgement with their loud drumming.

Then, his mind grew foggy and unruly. The time lords were messing with his mind, that much was clear. And he could spot the minor signs of hallucination encroaching him. The little breaths on his neck when no one was behind him, the shadows appearing out the corner of his eye, the almost-sound of an indecipherable whisper... His persecutors were doing something to him, but he was quickly losing control of his mind...

Said persecutors, unbeknownst to the hallucinating Doctor, were actually quite worried. The Raven, the one who was going to be responsible for changing his face, was nowhere to be found, meaning that their plans were in jeopardy. Without The Raven, they couldn't turn the oldest asset of The Time Lords into the newest weapon of The Division. And if they wanted to make sure the Doctor knew that, yes, their threats and punishments had weight behind them, they would have to force his regeneration and send him to Earth early instead. Their aim was the early 1970s in England, but their equipment for transporting the Doctor's TARDIS could overshoot, sending him anywhere and anywhen from Earth's Jurassic period to the collapse of the city of "New New New New New New New New New New New New New New" New New York. But their pride and stubbornness outweighed their logic, so they made the decision to run the machinery. And besides... Even with him this young, the Time Lords knew the Doctor could become something very powerful. They'd rather keep him in fear of them rather than the other way around.

And so, the Doctor was shot in the back and placed in his TARDIS, unaware of what was happening to him. Of course, when the transportation machine was activated, disaster struck. An unknown error was caused by the premature start-up. Electricity crackled and flew from the console, sparks flew, and the Doctor's TARDIS whooshed away, out of sight, making the familiar sound of the emergency breaks being left on. Thankfully, the Time Lords had a backup plan, and a wise one at that. They had put a tracking device in his TARDIS, so that they would know exactly where and when the Doctor, whomever they turned out to be after his renewal, would land. And there was no way it could be detected or sabotaged by the Doctor in his current state, and it couldn't be destroyed even if the Tardis burst into flames. That last bit was particularly lucky, since that was what immediately happened. But then they looked at their monitors in shocked.

The tracker wasn't working. Simply an error of disconnection, nothing more. No damage report, no alert, nothing. Simply a disconnection. What normally would have taken microseconds to figure out by the Time Lords took ordinary seconds simply due to the shock. After all, the only way that the device could be disconnected without any damage having been done to it was...

If he had left the universe.

And so, the 2nd Doctor ended his tenure as himself, as well as his stay in his own reality, with repeated cries of "no". With his friends gone, not knowing where he would end up, scared and alone aside from the TARDIS, which was starting to malfunction as flames lit the console. His head and limbs glowed, ready to burst from him, undoubtedly making the crashing time machine even worse for wear, the cloister bell delivering deafening ringing, with little-to-nothing the Doctor could do to delay it. Similarly to a face he may not ever wear in this timeline... He didn't want to go. And in another similarity, he had no other other choice but to go. His friends gone, his freedom compromised, no guarantee that he would ever see dear Susan again...

One wonders if even regeneration could heal wounds as deep and gashing as two broken hearts.

"Alright, everypony! Any news today?"

The rest of the Mane Six, as well as Starlight Glimmer, looked up at the purple alicorn walking into Castle of Friendship's throne room, who was visibly beaming with excitement. However, to her disappointment, nopony had so much as raised a hoof.

"Sorry, sugarcube," said Applejack, breaking the short silence, "but we ain't got nothin' to share." The purple alicorn, in response, ignored the double negative that slightly irked her and just let out a dejected sigh. The "Cutie Map" had been quiet for weeks, ever since Pinkie and Rarity went to Manehatten to help a local restaurant. Everypony had their own reaction to the lack of news. Fluttershy, for example, was simply happy nopony was in trouble. AJ was content to focus on helping her family's farm. Rainbow Dash was frustrated and bored from impatience, and was hesitant to admit to herself that being on probation from the Wonderbolts added to that. Rarity liked feeling useful when the Cutie Map called upon her help, so she took it a bit personally. Pinkie wanted to go somewhere new. Starlight wanted to prove she was a changed mare, and helping other ponies would show that and help her grow. And Spike... Didn't care. He was in another part of Ponyville, enjoying some comics in the Equestrian sun and taking a break Twilight felt he deserved.

Twilight Sparkle, however, was the most disappointed. She was the princess of friendship, for flying out loud! She actively wanted her or her friends to help other ponies. It was her job! Of course she would feel a bit bitter! When her job was specifically to help all sorts of Equestrian creatures wasn't being utilized, who wouldn't be at least a bit bitter? But Twilight kept her cool. It wasn't irritating or frustrating, just a bit of a bummer, so she could easily control herself and her feelings on the whole affair.

Pinkie saw her friend's disappointment and immediately started making some goofy faces towards her. Twilight just had to glance at Pinkie and already had to stifle a snort. Both mares started giggling uncontrollably, resulting in small smiles from parts of the room. Everypony there knew those two had a thing for each other... Well, except for Twilight and Pinkie themselves. Why is it, Rarity would often wonder, including now, that everypony in the world can see when two ponies are in love EXCEPT those ponies themselves? It would remain a mystery for the time being.

The only two not smiling were Starlight and Rainbow. Starlight was jealous. Happy for them, sure, but still jealous. She had an affection for Twilight, and was envious of how easy Pinkie managed to get some of that back without even knowing it. Still, she wasn't angry about it. After all, Twilight knew Pinkie for longer, so it was expected that the pink mare would more of an impression. That, and Pinkie didn't almost destroy the entire world. Rainbow was hardly jealous, though there was a hint of it still there. Both ways, actually. Dashie had minor crushes on all 6 of her friends one way or another. She was mostly just irritated by all the other things going on in her life as well as, perhaps more so, what was NOT going on in her life. That tiny bit of otherwise harmless envy served as the last straw.

Rainbow snapped. She flew into the air, mere feet above the floor, and startled everypony else by shouting "COME ON! WON'T SOMETHING HAPPEN?!? CAN'T WE HELP ANYPONY?!?"

In another timeline, the universe responded like it usually did to such requests by doing absolutely nothing, deaf to the cries of even an army's worth of screams. Then Rainbow would apologize for snapping, and a lot of comforting and kind words would spread around. Then another week would have passed, and the map would finally send AJ with Fluttershy to Las Pegasus to resolve the conflict of a bickering duo Applejack resented, and that was likely still going to happen.

In this version of reality, however, it was as if the monkey's paw curled a finger and granted Rainbow's wish.

In the middle of the map, seemingly out of nowhere, was a new cutie mark, one none of the mares present recognized, anyhow. It was an image of a golden hour glass, with the top still mostly filled. It was a simple design, as most cutie marks are, but that wasn't the most striking thing. What was striking was that it was headed towards where the castle was at quite a remarkable speed. Rainbow and Twilight were the first to feel like something was... Off. Through Twilight's many studies and Rainbow Dash's personal expertise, both figured out that, whoever or whatever was coming, it was going at a speed that was almost as fast as Rainbow halfway through the process of creating a sonic rainboom. Not quite at that speed, but it was close. They couldn't know, however, what was about to happen.

Luckily, Pinkie Pie managed to get an idea. See, her left eye started spontaneously twitching, her tail then wagged akin to a dog, and finally her front-left hoof started stomping the ground. Suddenly she shouted "EVERYPONY DUCK!" Only Starlight didn't immediately listen, feeling somewhat confused... Until she saw a strange shape through the semi-transparent wall of the castle. Then she ducked just in time, as the crystal wall shattered, with a blue box plopping in upright, leaving a large crack in the floor. Everypony looked up to see that it was some kind of blue booth. There was a sign reading "POLICE TELEPHONE," though most of the group couldn't even guess what that meant. Twilight could only tell the sign could be human, due to the mention of phones, though why you would need a booth to use a mobile device she had no idea.

Then, the doors opened. Out stepped a blue colored unicorn with a white, fluffy mane. The stallion was fully clothed, sporting a tattered vest and undone bowtie as well as pants. Behind the unicorn, there seemed like a large fire was inside the box, a fire that should have been impossible without burning the clearly wooden box containing it, not to mention the poor stallion himself. For his part, he was standing on his hind legs for some odd reason which cost him his balance. He fell, and as he did a wave of fire flared from inside the box, narrowly avoiding him. All the while a strange song was playing, sounding like a military tune occasionally interrupted by the sound of a bell tolling, eerily repeating just one line...

Glory, glory what a Helluva way to die...

Nopony knew what the hay was happening. Even Twilight, whose closest guess was that it was a human, couldn't even fathom what was going on.

Well, Pinkie knew. Or at least, she knew what was happening. The thing she was stuck on was why and how.

Pinkie was the first pony brave enough to head for the box's doors. She closed them shut, and the fire- To the amazement and shock of everypony else- was self-contained by the seemingly wooden box. Even the song became soft and muffled... Though that bell could still be heard a bit. Everypony stood in stunned silence, aside from two others. One was the stallion, who had passed out. The other was Pinkie, who had a quiet look of rage about her that none of the others had ever seen before. All of a sudden, the Cutie Map was lit up again and ones still conscious looked. It showed Pinkie and Twilight's cutie marks at the castle, while everypony else's cutie marks, including the mysterious hourglass cutie mark, were firmly at Rarity's boutique.

Applejack then cautiously approached the passed out stallion and pulled his pants down just enough to see his cutie mark. She then spoke the first words anypony had said after the crash. "That's an hourglass, alright." She decided to take charge, since everypony else was still dumbfounded, "Twilight, Pinkie, you stay here and watch the map, see if it changes any. The rest of us will take Hourglass over here to Rarity's place." Rarity opened her mouth as if to protest, but no noise came out. It was likely she was simply glad that somepony managed to get everypony else moving. Pinkie proceeded to step towards the Map, Twilight followed her, and everypony else helped pick up the strange unicorn. Rarity and Starlight used magic to lighten the load, Rainbow and fluttershy flew carrying the stallion's legs, and AJ took whatever weight was left on her back. Just before they left the room, however, the Doctor glowed for just a moment. All present took glances at each other, aside from Pinkie who was staring at the hourglass on the Cutie Map. With the rest of the group leaving, Twilight decided to go talk to and comfort Pinkie. Clearly Pinkie had an idea of what was going on, but was keeping it secret.

"Hey, Pinkie," Twilight said with an awkward smile. The smile rather quickly transitioned into a look of concern. "Are you doing alright? You have this weird look about you is all." No visible response came back, as Pinkie had her eyes firmly on that hourglass cutie mark at the boutique, surrounded by the Cutie marks of Rainbow, Fluttershy, Rarity, AJ and Starlight. It was as if the rest of them were orbiting around that one cutie mark. Twilight figured that, whoever he was, that strange stallion was important. She broke the silence with the question "so, do you know him or..?"

Pinkie just kept staring at the hourglass, lost in thought. Twilight was becoming concerned. This didn't seem like Pinkie. She wasn't sure how to describe what Pinkie was like when she wasn't in "party mode," but it didn't feel like this. She looked... Bitter. A mix of profound anger and sadness, quietly simmering while looking at the map. Was this somepony who had hurt Pinkie or..?

"He's a friend of mine," Pinkie finally said, almost as if she was responding to Twilight's thought. "Well, it looks like this what he was before I met him, based on pictures he showed me, but maybe he just regenerated with the same face. But really, what are the odds of him having a face that likes bowties and another that looks like an old magician back to back on two separate occasions?" Pinkie's face brightened up. "Does he still like jelly babies? Or would they be 'jelly fillies' in Equestria? No no no, stay focused! If this is a past him, why didn't he tell me about going to a world filled with ponies?" Pinkie started pacing around the map. "Unless he got his memory wiped, there's no way he wouldn't have bragged about it! That or he's from a different universe! Oooh! Both of those would mean I get to be friends with him all over again, and I get to do it right this time! I was too rude to him the first time! I could throw a special regeneration party! It's the least I could do to-"

"PINKIE!"

Twilight felt bad about yelling, but she had said Pinkie's name about five times up to this point.

"Pinkie," she asked more calmly, "could you please explain what's going on? I'm more than a little confused." Though she didn't outright say it, she was happy that Pinkie was acting like herself. Still, there were a lot of questions. Regeneration? New faces? And what did jelly fillies have to do with anything? Still, she stuck to the most important one. "So he's your friend. Do you know what happened to him?"

"Ohhhh, that's easy. He got murdered."

A silence filled the room, and not the kind you need tally marks for, before Twilight broke it with a simple "WHAT?!?"

"Oh, sorry!" Pinkie blushed a bit. "He's a Time Lord! When a Time Lord dies, we go through a process called 'rEgeNeRAtiOn!!!'" She waved her front legs bonelessly, to indicate spookiness. "Our cells reorganize themselves, and we become a whole new pony! Or maybe a non-pony, like a dragon or a griffon! It does change the personality, but all the memories are still there! Really, I'm mostly mad at the intent to kill him more than his actual death, since that's nothing the Doctor can't get back up from!"

Twilight shook her head a bit, feeling disoriented. "I'm sorry, 'we?'" Pinkie's face went pale, as if she said something she wasn't supposed to. Pinkie then sighed, looking a bit defeated. "Yeah, 'we.' Didn't mean for you to find out like this. And I know your next question 'what's a Time Lord,' which is a good question!" Twilight opened her mouth as if to speak, but closed it back up with a slight hint of embarrassment.

Pinkie thought for a moment before brightening up again. "OK, you know the human world, right?" Twilight nodded. "I come from a world where humans exist, and normally I look like a human, but I'm not a human. Buuuuut this universe has the same effect that the human world does, sooooooo... TA DA!"

Twilight stared for a moment. It was a lot to take in at once. Before she could respond, however, the Cutie Map had changed both of the mares' position on the map. Now, instead of the castle, they were both being called to Sugarcube Corner. Twilight gave a slightly uncomfortable smile. "Well, Pinkie, why not tell me on the move? Seems like the map wants us back at your place." Pinkie gave a more excited smile. "Sure thing! Funny, it showed up right as I had an idea." She gasped. "Hey, that must mean I had a good idea! Let's go!" Pinkie started bouncing at a steady pace.

"Wait," said Twilight, prompting Pinkie to stop in midair, ignoring gravity for a moment before placing her hooves back on the ground. "If you're not from here, then what about your family? And is your name even Pinkie?"

Pinkie looked slightly embarrassed. "Well, the Pie family is still my family, they just adopted me is all. As for my name, that was the one they gave me, and I love it a lot!"

Twilight seemed puzzled. "So, what was your name before that? If you don't mind me asking, that is."

Pinkie smiled once more, a look of pride, shame, and nostalgia in her eyes. Twilight noticed, perhaps for the first time, how... Old her eyes looked. It was as if that question had caused her to stop hiding that aspect. It was a similar look to what she saw in Celestia, Luna... Or Discord. Finally, Pinkie answered the question.

"Romana."

Chapter 2: Shoes and Boxes

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 3: A Trip to Canterlot

The Doctor was solving a multi-colored puzzle cube. A standard affair, really, he managed to solve it in about ten seconds. He had solved a myriad of ones like it before, but he was experiencing it in a a brand new way. He was being taught to use the power of his mind to move the object, as effortlessly as he would with his hands. He was learning a new, practical way to use telekinesis.

Or, as the unicorn teaching him had insisted on calling it, "magic."

Starlight, the Doctor, and the rest of the ponies who looked after him while he was out cold were on a train headed to the capital of "Equestria," "Canterlot," thanks to the direction of the "Cutie Map". The Doctor couldn't believe some of the names given to locations on this planet, particularly how the town his TARDIS now resided in was named "Ponyville." He supposed that, since there were 4 types of pony, it wasn't a bad way of unifying the populace, but he still felt that it was as ridiculous as naming an Earth city "Humanopolis." Regardless, he was upset that he wasn't able to work on his TARDIS to begin the long journey to get it back in working order. When they had arrived back in the castle he had apparently crashed in, the Tardis was still set aflame. He wanted more than anything to fix it, as he never wanted to stay in one time and place for too long. However, the map in the castle's main room had specifically called for his help, and he could never resist the opportunity to help someone when asked, even if it was just a mere "friendship problem," whatever that meant.

In any case, he very much enjoyed the company of some of these ponies. He was particularly fond of Starlight, as intelligent and helpful as she was with teaching him, as well as Rarity, whose personality meshed well with his own. Truthfully, aside from the abrasive rainbow-haired one, they all seemed like very nice young ladies. Well, mares, but that was beside the point. He was also going to have trouble getting used to this new, ridiculous vernacular. At the very least, terms like "girl" and "lady" were in use, for whatever reason.

"Well done, Doctor," Starlight told him, interrupting his train of thought. "You're a natural at this! It looks like you know the basics of magic now, but I can still teach you how to cast a spell or two if you want." The Doctor would adopt a disbelieving look whenever she said the words "magic" and "spell." He still didn't believe that you could explain... Well, anything with magic. He had no doubt that there were certain intrinsic abilities that a unicorn's horn could provide that the Doctor didn't have an explanation for yet, but magic? Best save that for the fairy tales, used exclusively to defeat the likes of the Big Bad Wolf and the Toclafane. It had no place in reality.

Yes, he was talking to a unicorn. He, himself, had turned into a unicorn. He accepted that, but a form of sentient equine that had evolved a horn akin to a rhino or a narwhal, even one that was able to channel psychic energy through said horn, he could reasonably believe. Unlikely, certainly, but unless Decartes's thought experiment of doubting everything was more practical than he thought there was no denying what was happening before him. Still, there was no possible way it was "magic." That was the terminology Starlight was using, however, and he lacked enough knowledge of it in order to rename it, so he might as play along.

"Thank you very much, Starlight," said the Doctor. "I'm always happy to learn about something I'm unfamiliar with, and you make an excellent teacher." Starlight felt more confident upon hearing that. "Oh, thanks, Doctor! Now then, I think I'll teach you one more thing, and then... Why not hang out with some of the other girls? Might be good to get to know the ponies you're traveling with!"

The Gallifrayan pondered this for a moment. Why not? "Of course, my dear. Now then, what's the next spell you recommend?" Hearing this, Starlight thought for a moment. She already knew what spell she wanted to show him, but she knew the Doctor would be skeptical if she told him out right what it was. "How about," she cautiously began, "I show you what it does first?" The Doctor simply nodded, prompting Starlight to continue. "Let me see that puzzle for a second." The Doctor placed the cube on the table, and then Starlight began to concentrate. After a moment, her horn let out a blast of light, hitting the cube dead center.

Then, in nearly an instant, the cube had transformed into a tea cup.

The Doctor blinked rapidly upon seeing the tea cup in front of him. He was, in the most accurate word possible in the English language, flabbergasted. He had just, apparently, witnessed an object transform into a completely different shape, material, size and then some. What used to be a wooden block with paint upon it in a multitude of colors was now a simple, white, porcelain tea cup. That wasn't even the most amazing part to him, either. The most interesting bit was that this was the first real "spell" that he was being taught. And if that were the case...

What in the name of Rassilon were the more advanced spells like?

"It's called a transfiguration spell," Starlight began, noting the Doctor's bewildered expression. "To do it, you have to concentrate your magic so that it turns into a sort of..." Starlight trailed off, trying to find a good comparison.

"A laser?" The Doctor questioned.

"Yes," Starlight exclaimed, "if that helps. Just aim at the tea cup and try and do that first."

The Doctor wondered what it meant that she knew what a laser was. Nevertheless, he aimed for the cup, closed his eyes, concentrated whatever strange energy his horn provided so it would group together, and allowed it to exit him. The blast that resulted from this hit the tea cup head on. It stayed unchanged, aside from now being further towards Starlight's side of the table. Before the Doctor could ask any questions, Starlight explained. "Great work. If you're wondering why it didn't do anything, that's because I just wanted you to try and concentrate your magic to create a small magic blast. It's nice bit of self-defense, and without knowing how to do that, you can't actually do a transfiguration spell. Or most spells, really.

"Now, Doctor, I want you to think of a small object. Preferably something simple, but it can be anything you want as long as it's a small object you can hold with your hooves." Starlight paused. "Or hands. Or... Whatever's most helpful to you."

The Doctor closed his eyes and, after a moment, nodded, signaling for Starlight to continue. "Now, focus on that object. What is it? What color is it? What can it do? What is it made of? Then, at the exact same time as you're concentrating on that, aim for the tea cup and let out another blast."

The Doctor took a deep breath, and repeated the magic blast with his object in mind. It hit the former cube, and it transformed into a small, metallic device. The Doctor looked wowed and content by his own creation, signaling that this was the intended result. It looked intricate and exceedingly complex, and thus it was now Starlight's turn to be, as it were, flabbergasted.

The first time the Doctor has done this spell, and he had already managed to make something as complex as... Whatever it was he made. She was actually a bit jealous of how fast he had already mastered even a spell as simple as that. It took her weeks to make something as complex as even a baked good, never mind one of the Doctor's sci-fi gizmos.

"I must say," the Doctor said, noting Starlight's stunned expression, "this 'spell' is going to save me quite a bit of time. I was wondering where to find computer circuitry in this world, and now I simply don't have to worry about finding those components. Thank you very much, Starlight."

Starlight shook her head, reorientating herself in order to focus. She gave a small, nervous laugh. "No problem, Doctor! None at all! It's just that... You're a really fast learner."

"Well, naturally," the Doctor replied. "I have spent a long time training my mind to conceptualize many different objects, including blueprints for components for my TARDIS. If your 'magic' relies on mental fortitude, then I should have no trouble with learning them. I spent 8 years in university to memorize... Let's see, what was it? Ah yes. An array of 208 different 43-dimensional super-solids, all superimposed. It makes it easier to memorize components of a TARDIS, and voila! Even a complex supercomputer is as easy as a tea cup to think of."

Starlight figured his next lesson should be from somepony more experienced than her. At least, if being able to think of a 43-dimensional object was any indication. "Alright, well, I think next time I might want Twilight here to help. She knows a lot more about magic in general, so she can get a better read on what spells are right for you." The Doctor nodded. From what he'd been told, he had a feeling he would like this "Twilight Sparkle" quite a bit. Talk of the other missing friend, "Pinkie Pie," and her high energy and bounciness did concern him, however. He hoped they would find some sort of common ground.

"Oh!" Starlight had almost forgotten! "Don't worry about using that spell on other ponies. Doesn't do anything to living creatures, and ponies are too big for it to work anyways." He hadn't thought of the possibility, so it was good his fears were quelled before he had them. Starlight clearly had that question herself. The Doctor liked anyone willing to ask questions. "With all that said," she continued, "go make some friends with the others! See you later Doctor!"

"Until we talk again, Starlight," the Doctor said with a bow, "and thank you!" He stopped himself from saying "until we meet again", since they were all in the same train car. Still, the farewell gave him an idea of how long he was expected to talk to someon- Erm, somepony else, which was to say, a while. He would have talked to the yellow pegasus, Fluttershy, but she seemed anxious and the Doctor guessed she would have trouble getting used to his presence. He enjoyed the company of Rarity, but she was busy tailoring him a new outfit, which while thoughtful required a lot of concentration. The only two candidates left were already mid-conversation at a table across from one another, but that meant he could get to know two other ponies at once. Although he wasn't particularly fond of the cyan one, "Rainbow Dash," maybe he just needed to get to know her better.

"Hello again." The other two mares looked up at the alien unicorn as the Doctor made his introduction. "I hope neither of you mind if I join in." Rainbow opened her mouth as if to say something, but a glare from Applejack caused it to shut down again. "Sure thing, Sugarcube!" Applejack scooted to the side, allowing the Doctor a place to sit. The Doctor, in turn, took the opportunity. "Might I ask," he said, "what you were conversing about? I would hate to interrupt anything important."

Applejack shook her head. "You weren't interruptin' much. We were just talkin' about how the princesses would react to ya. If it helps, ah think they'll like you quite a bit. Ain't that right Dashie?" Rainbow merely mumbled something that vaguely sounded like a disgruntled "yeah, sure."

The Doctor had his suspicions of the Equestrian royalty, particularly the claim that they controlled the sun and moon. He was assured that the ponies had seen the consequences of what happens when the royalty weren't able to fulfill that duty, and he had seen enough impossible things today to at least not question that bit too much, but he still had doubts as to how "good" the princesses were. After all, an immortal ruling over mortals didn't seem any good in his book. Ponies may not have had religion, but he had known many egotistical maniacs that came to less advanced worlds and claimed to be gods. And while it wasn't quite the same, these "alicorns" did remind him of how most of Gallifrey viewed the Time Lords. The Time Lords...

But he kept his thoughts on the matter to himself. He didn't want to commit blasphemy quite so early in new relationships.

Applejack continued. "Now, ah don't think y'all are interested in all that, but ah know Dash and ah are interested in that fancy blue box of yer's." The Doctor's ears perked up. He hadn't been able to show the girls the inside of his TARDIS, as whatever the Time Lords did to it combined with his regeneration energy damaged it very badly, and it needed time to heal. That all being said, he was happy to talk about it.

"Happy to oblige, my dear. It's called the TARDIS. It's an acronym that stands for Time And Relative Dimension In Space." The doctor interrupted the tomboy duo each time they even thought of a question to ask. "Yes, it's a time machine. Yes, it also travels through space. Yes, that means it can take you anywhere and any time you please if you know how to use it. No, it's unlikely you'll ever be able to learn the controls" He stared at Rainbow specifically with that answer. "And as for how I can fit inside of it... Well, I prefer to show and not tell, so you'll have to wait a while for that." The Doctor then chuckled to himself as the two mares looked at each other with confusion.

Then Rainbow decided to ask something while she still had the chance. "So, what happened to your TARDIS box?"

The Doctor's face turned dour upon hearing Rainbow Dash's question. "Ah," the Doctor said, looking down at the table. "Well.... There's a nasty group of elites in Gallifrey called the Time Lords. I stole my TARDIS from a repair shop and used it to save countless lives throughout time and space. The Time Lords," he grimaced, "called it interference with what they considered to be 'lesser species-'" Despite the lack of fingers, his hooves accurately portrayed the air quotes he was miming- "A crime amongst their kind." He noticed both girls seemed a bit more tense when the term "lesser species" was brought up. "Thus, I had the secret of the TARDIS taken from me, which mostly means I need to make an excessive amount of repairs. Starlight has just taught me how to use an ability that will certainly help in that regard, but it's still going to be a long journey." He sighed. "In short, I am now exiled, and thus cannot use the TARDIS for the time being."

Applejack tipped her hat in sympathy. "That sure is tough, partner. Can't imagine how ah would feel if ah weren't allowed on mah family farm no more." She looked at Rainbow. "Just as ah'm sure Dashie here wouldn't know what to do if her wings were taken from 'er." Rainbow's eyes widened at that. "Yeah, I feel for you, Doc," said Rainbow sadly. "Even just the thought of not being able to fly any more... It hurts, honestly." A slight look of guilt crept upon Applejack's face, which made Rainbow panic more. "But hey, as long as you have good friends like AJ, you can get through just about anything."

She noticed the Doctor visibly winced upon her mentioning friends, which further added to her anxiety. OK, she thought, friends are a bad topic. "How about we talk about something else? This is starting to bum me out a little bit." The other two nodded in agreement, and a wave of relief swept over Rainbow.

The Doctor then piped up with a question. "Right then, Miss Applejack, what's the meaning behind your name, if you don't mind my asking?" Applejack just shrugged in response. "Aside from carryin' the legacy of the Apple family, beats me." The Doctor put a hoof on his chin, and thought a bit before his next question. "Do you happen to know of a beverage with the same name?" Before AJ could answer, Rainbow Dash lit up, leaning forward and slamming her forehooves on the table. "Hah!" She exclaimed. "I knew I wasn't the only one who thought your name meant booze!"

The Doctor began to laugh uncontrollably as Applejack rolled her eyes. He didn't expect a blue pegasus with multi-colored hair to exclaim that her friend's name referred to an alcoholic beverage, or even for a pegasus to say the word "booze." In fairness, he also didn't expect to see any talking horses today, but this was the first time that something comical and not just baffling had occurred from the situation. Soon enough, Rainbow joined in the giggling, as an exasperated cowpony just rolled her eyes again, although this time with a smile on her face.

The laughter died down right as Rarity had left the restroom. With her, she brought a white, long-sleeved, frilled shirt, a red, velvet jacket, and a purple cape. She brought the ensemble directly to the Doctor with her magic. "Here you are, Darling," she said, "one very lovely outfit for our stallion from the stars, exactly to his vision!" She used her magic to remove the now worn bow-tied outfit from him, fitting the new one on in its stead. She made sure that his sonic screwdriver was transferred from the old jacket to a pocket behind the ruffles on the Doctor's new shirt, which she thought was incredibly clever on her part.

The Doctor gave a wide grin. "Thank you very much, my dear! It's even better than I had envisioned, and it's quite comfortable too." Rarity beamed at the praise, clearly filled with pride. However, the Doctor noticed something was missing from the ensemble. He didn't specify it to Rarity, but that was mostly to test the leniency when it came to clothing designed for stallions.

"A quick question, Miss Rarity. Are there any pants that come with this outfit?" Rarity, in response, let out a small "ha". "Why would you want to cover up that fabulous cutie mark you have? If it were a dress at a big event like the Gala, sure, but pants?" Her face sneered a bit. "They're a bit droll, darling, wouldn't you say?"

The Doctor was unbothered. "Just making sure, my dear. Many species are very particular when it comes to social norms, and clothes are a large part of that. For some species, like Humanity and to a lesser extent Gallifreyans, you have to wear a shirt and a pair of pants even in the hottest environments. I blame the lack of fur for causing that annoying little habit." With that, he took off his own pants, now certain that the stallions were just as lenient on clothes as the mares.

He turned his attention to his flank, specifically the so-called "cutie mark." An hourglass, as permanent as a tattoo. Fluttershy was the one to explain that it showed the Doctor's "special talent." Rarity expanded on the idea, stating that her own cutie mark, a set of three diamonds, could have meant she was great at being a miner, but that she knew it meant that she could find and create beautiful things, even in the most unassuming of places. "Cutie Marks show what you're good at, but are open to interpretation" was the lesson he took from that conversation. He pondered what his own meant, although he hadn't the foggiest idea.

"I'm guessing you're wondering what your cutie mark means, right?" The Doctor's train of thought was interrupted by Rainbow, of all ponies, havin spotted his thoughtful state directed at his rump. She continued. "My guess is it's time travel. Yeah, your box is broken, but just because you're not able to travel right now doesn't mean you won't be able to later. And don't worry, your cutie mark doesn't tell you everything you're good at, just what you're best at. You can still have other talents that aren't your main one! I mean, look at me!" She gestured her hoof towards her own cutie mark. "Even if I wasn't able to fly at lightning speed, just like my cool-as-hay cutie mark says I should be good at, I'd still be friggin' awesome!" She did her best to ignore Applejack's small snicker. "I'm great at plenty of different sports, most of which don't even have to do with flying! You're good at all sorts of sciencey gizmos and at magic too. Basically, don't sweat it too much."

"Well, if you care for my take, Darling," Rarity said while taking a seat next to Rainbow, "I would say you should wait a while. Talents aren't always so obvious, and I have no idea what I would think if I only learned what my cutie mark was today. Mine is more... Abstract than most, so I would probably assume I was meant for jewelry, not all kinds of fashion! I say give it time, and the answer will come to you when you least expect it."

Starlight overheard the conversation from the other side of the train car, and decided to chime in. "I agree with Rarity," she said, "but if I had to give a different guess, or any guess really, it'd be that it means you're wise beyond your years. It could signify age and experience, like the sand that passes through an hourglass. You probably have a lot of knowledge to share, and I think we're going to see that more and more as we learn about you."

The Doctor nodded. "You all make valid points, and I thank you for the help. In any case, it doesn't seem that important at the moment. After all, I do believe that a 'cutie mark' is just a signifier of that talent, correct?"

Hearing this, Starlight immediately hid her face in a newspaper, while the rest of the girls just felt somewhat awkward.

"Doc," Applejack began, as she turned to the space-stallion, "if ya lose a cutie mark, ya lose the talent it represents until ya get it back. It can't happen on a whim, somepony has to cast or miscast a spell, but it can happen. Ain't happened to us in a long time. Not since..." She stopped to look over at Starlight, before quickly turning her gaze back to the Doctor. "... Well, the pony who did that became a much better pony. At the time they thought they were doin' the right thing by puttin' everypony on an even playin' field, but they didn't realize who they could've been hurtin'. They know better now." Starlight had put down the newspaper, but still looked somewhat ashamed.

"It's all in the past now, darling" Rarity chimed in, noticing the Doctor looking in the train's window reflection straight at Starlight. Applejack wasn't very subtle in terms of body language, one of the many times her trademark honesty had come to bite her in the flank, which allowed the Doctor to catch on to whom she was referring to. The Doctor was more subtle, but Rarity had an eye for detail and was able to catch the glance. She continued as everypony else turned to face her. "I can personally attest that this pony has improved their behavior significantly since that little... Incident. It's always possible to set a pony down the right path, so long as the pony in question wants to improve, and they certainly did want to. Why, they still want to improve even now! And I'll also say that pony is now a friend to the end, and we are very happy to have known her." She saw the Doctor grinning at that, and saw in the window that Starlight was tearing up a bit with a smaller smile. Nailed it, she thought.

And it was at this sentimental moment, this grand reaffirmation of the group's friendship with Starlight, that life thought to itself "yes, this is the moment. This is the moment when the animals should invade their train car."

A stampede of various animals, all of which were clearly meant to be sold as pets, charged in. Each animal had a panicked look in its eyes. Dogs, cats, birds, ferrets, rats, mice, rabbits, and whatever else you could name was running across the car. They all seemed to try and hide, or run further into the next car.

Whilst Rainbow, AJ, Rarity, Starlight, and a half dozen other passengers who were previously minding their own business all stayed as close to the wall as possible, hoping to avoid the rather embarrassing obituary of "trampled to death by hamsters", the Doctor leapt into the stampede of small animals to try and quell it. Much to his surprise, the mare to join him was... Not the one he expected.

"What the devil are you doing here, Miss Fluttershy?" He had to shout in order to be heard over the barks, meows, tweets, and other various animal noises. Fluttershy, panickily, gave a quick reply. "My special talent is animals, Mr. Doctor! Calming down critters is what I'm good at." The normally timid mare had a determination in her eyes, the determination of somepony who wanted to help as many creatures as she could and would let nothing stop her. A look the Doctor was well familiar with, though typically he wasn't able to see it for himself without a mirror.

Then, the Doctor noticed what was, to him, a strange sight. A trio of parrots were carrying a cage containing two tortoises, and a family of ferrets were doing the same task with a fish tank filled with aquatic life. "Curious," he mused to himself amidst the chaos swarm of critters. He started shouting again. "Are these animals... Helping another species?" Fluttershy nodded. Animals in Equestria had a sense of comradery about them, but Fluttershy felt that now wasn't the time to explain the intricacies of dealing with animals on her world. "Whatever is happening in the luggage," she said, "it has them all running, and they don't want to leave any creature behind. They're saying something about a 'faceless pony.'"

The Doctor turned to look at the mare. "That is what they're saying! How do you know that?" Fluttershy looked at the Doctor, her surprised expression matching his. "Understanding animals is part of my talent! Can you speak with animals, too?" The Doctor gave a proud grin. "I was taught many animal languages since the TARDIS can only translate more sentient species." A cat's screech brought them both back down to Gaia. "I believe we can discuss it at a later date!" Fluttershy nodded at that. "Right, sorry."

It was then a figure walked into the train car. It was shaped like a pony, but it had no coat or mane, and was colored a light shade of peach. It had no cutie mark and, as the would-be-pets had rightfully decreed, no face. As a matter of fact, it looked like...

Ah, thought the Doctor. Those mannequins were NOT always in the store window.

"LOOK OUT," the Doctor shouted, grabbing Fluttershy so both could duck from the sudden laser fire. The right forehoof of the dummy was open, as if it had a hinge akin to a trash can lid, that revealed a small metal tube made for blasting energy. "Something is making this plastic mannequin kill," the Doctor stated. Fluttershy was breathing heavily. "Um- Uh- I don't think I know what 'plastic' is, but Rarity said her new mannequins were made of something like that!" "Well then, if this is your first time seeing plastic then this is a horrible first impression! Now take cover!" At the Doctor's command, both ponies and all the creatures near that spot did so, dodging another flash of light, leaving the two equines on opposite sides of the room.

"Plastic is normally just a building material that's non-biodegradable," he yelled, "certainly shouldn't move, but this one seems to have other components added! I suggest you move!" Fluttershy jumped toward the Doctor, as the laser beam she dodged very nearly hit a bystander, who immediately cried out for his mother. "I have no idea what's causing it, but it likely activated while being shipped through the luggage, resulting in our current predicament!" He then grabbed the yellow pegasus with his magic and had them both jump out of the way and towards the living dummy. Meanwhile, the stray laser they avoided hit the tea cup of a purple mare with wings and a top hat, who immediately teared up at the sight of spilt tea.

The Doctor pounced on the plastic assailant as soon as he confirmed he was close enough to do so. He figured that the transfiguration spell Starlight taught him would be useful here, but he had to think fast. The Doctor had to think of something simple, so he could cast it before the homicidal shop dummy fired another blast. Not too difficult considering the speed that his finely-trained thought processes allowed him, but what exactly would he try and envision..?

He cast the spell on the thing's laser-wielding foreleg, which promptly turned into a simple, white, porcelain tea cup. Starlight had helped with more than just the spell, it turns out.

This did not stop the living object from fighting, however, as a plastic hoof quickly met the Doctor's face at a dizzying speed. It would be difficult to concentrate on the spell while the figure was punching him senseless, so the Doctor pinned it to the ground, quickly casting a spell on its head with the same result. The mann-equine seemed unaffected, however, and it continued the struggle. It was hard for the Doctor to keep something with only three legs pinned, since an odd number of legs and no head was something most didn't think to prepare for. The thing's torso thrust itself into the Doctor's chest, knocking some wind out of the alien, as well as himself off of the mannequin.

The menace stood on its hind legs, towering over the Doctor who lay flat on his back. Thankfully, Fluttershy went behind it and tore off the remaining foreleg, her eyes shut all the while. As she held it, however, it sprang to life and went for her throat. Fluttershy was known as a savior amongst the animals in Equestria, so this caused some of the animals to join the fight. Dogs and cats pounced at the larger figure, clawing at it to keep it still, while various kinds of birds helped Fluttershy pull the leg off her throat.

Starlight tried her best to join the fight, leaning in in order to aim her spell at the arm trying to hurt her friend. Then, after a few missed shots and one bird disturbed in its flight, the disembodied leg was turned into a small wooden toy duck. At the same time, the Doctor was taking advantage of the canine and feline alliance in order to turn both remaining legs into tea cups, which caused the creatures to disperse. He did note the spell didn't work on the torso, likely because it was simply too big of an object for the spell to work. That, or that part was too "alive" in a way the other parts of it weren't, as it was somehow still moving.

The animals, however, were still panicking, including an irritated bird now heading straight towards Starlight. With how many animals there were, and how much noise they were making, there was no time for Fluttershy to calm them each individually, and she doubted all the animals could hear her over all of their cries. She had no other choice but to use... It.

Whether it was safe to use it or not was a completely different story, seeing how she didn't know if anypony was going to look at her while doing it. If they did, that would end up being a problem, since she had to give the animals orders while hoping the ponies on the train didn't follow them as well. Regardless, somepony had to make sure there wasn't mass hysteria, the animals were adding to that, and she was the only one on the train who could do anything about that, so...

"Alright," Fluttershy shouted, "you have forced my hoof!" Rainbow Dash heard her say this, and knew that she had to yell a warning so Fluttershy didn't have to. "EVERYPONY LOOK AWAY, NOW!" Most of Fluttershy's friends, aside from the Doctor, who was further away from Rainbow, immediately did so, knowing how Fluttershy didn't like what she had to do affecting ponies. The other passengers either were able to hear the warning or were already cowering from the chaos, aside from the purple one, who was upset about her tea. And thus, Fluttershy shouted once more to get the attention of the animals, and everypony who didn't look away in time else was caught up in...

The stare.

The Doctor suddenly noticed he was being grabbed. Specifically, his eyes were being covered by a pair of hooves. He tried to grab the figure to bodyslam out of reflex, until he heard Rainbow say "woah, take it easy Doc! It's me!" This allowed him to relax a bit, but he was still confused. Rainbow continued. "You were lost in Fluttershy's stare for a good few seconds! I'm just trying to protect you from it!" The Doctor felt himself being dragged away. "A few seconds," he questioned. "I don't recall getting lost in something." Dashie rolled her eyes, though nopony could see her do so since those eyes were shut tight to avoid the infamous stare's crossfire. "Doc, Fluttershy can make a stare that can be... Hypnotic. I think it's hypnosis through sheer guilt? Whatever it is, you don't want to be caught up in it when she tries to order animals around."

It was only then that the Doctor noticed there wasn't nearly as much noise as before. The entire room had gone quiet, aside from Fluttershy saying something akin to "return to your cages." The Doctor removed the hoof over his eyes, being careful not to look in the direction of Fluttershy's voice. He noticed all of the animals had stopped, and were now starting to slowly move in the same direction he avoided looking at for too long. He also noticed a purple pegasus, slack-jawed, was doing the same thing. He heard a meek voice say "it's safe to look now," so he finally ordained to look at Fluttershy, who seemed to be feeling a mix between guilt and mental exhaustion. He saw the menagerie of critters heading towards the luggage car, as Rainbow focused her attention into knocking some sense into the one mare unfortunate enough to fall completely under the stare's power. Fluttershy flew down to the Doctor, as the last of the animals exited and a very confused pegasus returned to her teapot.

"I'm sorry you had to see that, Mr. Doctor." Fluttershy seemed apologetic for reasons the Doctor couldn't comprehend. "My dear," he began, "you have just cleared out an entire train car of dozens of different animals with a form of hypnosis so powerful that it managed to even effect me, and I have taken classes specifically to combat mind control technology and intense hypnosis. You have helped save all of us, and I am thoroughly impressed at your ability. You have nothing to apologize for." He made sure the timid mare smiled and all of the passengers had relaxed before moving on to the mystery at ha- Erm, at hoof. "Now then, Starlight, do you still have our headless friend with you?"

Starlight nodded, levitating a plastic torso that seemed to still be struggling. The Doctor got out his sonic and subjected it to his "magic" for the first time, just for a quick scan. "Remarkable! It does appear to be normal plastic. No other internal components whatsoever, and yet it moves as if it were alive! It's likely all external technology was just being used for its weapon in the arm." The rest of the car, both friend and bystander, gave a confused look at that last word. "Apologies, I meant its front leg.

"Normally, plastic is a completely harmless material. Well, it's harmful to the environment, but it normally doesn't have the urge to kill. In fact, it's not even supposed to be able to move like what remains of our aggressive friend here. It's certainly being controlled by an external source, but I haven't the faintest idea as to what that would be. Its origins should be a good place to start." He turned to his friends again. "Miss Rarity?"

Rarity, still trying to regain her nerves, kept her composure as she answered. "Yes, darling?"

"Miss Fluttershy told me you received some mannequins for your shop, and that you said they were made of plastic. Can you remember where you got them from?"

Rarity's composure suddenly vanished, and she seemed absolutely livid. "I should have known it was a trick! Giving away free mannequins for 'promotion?' What balderdash!" She gasped. "I left those things to have free reign in my shop! They could hurt Sweetie Belle, or my parents! This is the WORST! POSSIBLE! THING!" For once, the other girls noted, that phrase didn't feel like an exaggeration.

"Focus, my dear," the Doctor said. "Do you remember the name of the company, by chance? This could prove to be important!"

Rarity nodded. "It was called 'Set Ram industries.' I have no idea why it's called that, since it's apparently a minotaur-run company. I know that much due to the fact their CEO gave me a commission for a... Bizarre, but still fabulous outfit. I think I had to send that outfit out to..." Her eyes grew wide. "Canterlot!"

Starlight's magic faltered for just half a second due to her surprise. "That's where we're headed! Do you think that the Cutie Map sent us there because of this?" The Doctor slowly nodded his head in response. "If I'm here, there's no doubt of it. And whatever our assailant was was after me and Miss Fluttershy. I also suspect that the ones sent to Miss Rarity's boutique were being used to spy on us. They're expecting us." As if on cue, the train had come to a stop, putting everypony off-balance. A voice came from the intercom, announcing they had arrived at Canterlot station.

"Alright, Miss Rarity, get your luggage quickly. Time is of the essence!" Thankfully for the Doctor, Rarity was the only one to bring anything with them, that being her sewing supplies to make the Doctor's new outfit. When clothes were optional and you only planned to go somewhere for one day, who else needed luggage? The group quickly hurried out of the carriage and into the station, only to be welcomed by more of the plastic ponies, each wearing some of the most fashionable outfits in Canterlot, with a small hoof-full of hostages held at laser-point. The group stared at the living dummies in silence for a few moments.

"Aw, buck," Rainbow finally said.

The friends had been guided by their stylish jailors all the way through the burning and demolished Canterlot to a large, architecturally impractical castle. Along the street were many more mannequins holding various ponies hostage, as if to remind the group why they weren't starting a fight. Thankfully, it didn't seem like anypony was hurt... But there were some helmets and chest plates left abandoned on the ground here and there, which was plenty cause for alarm.

At the very least, their captors didn't seem to care if they talked.

Fluttershy nervously expressed one of her many, MANY concerns. "You don't think they were able to capture the princesses, do you?" The sun in the sky seemed to be in the exact same position as it had been 3 hours ago, with hardly a nudge. The only reason that would be was if Princess Celestia wasn't able to move it like she normally would.

Applejack just huffed in response to the worry. "If they did, it was in the same way we got got. They didn't want nopony ta get hurt, so they surrendered. Can't imagine immortals would be bothered by threats to their lives or anythin' like that. Ah just hope whatever's holdin' them up knows how important their jobs are."

"Well," Rarity began, "at least it's easy to see how they were able to take over so quickly. Canterlot is a hotspot for fashion throughout all of Equestria, which means a lot of marvelous shops. And what business owner would turn down free advertising? I know I couldn't! And who could possibly even suspect... Well-" She gestured around wildly- "Any of this would happen?" The sound of a laser shot into the air let Rarity know that maybe, just maybe, it wasn't a good idea to move sporadically when being threatened with laser weapons.

"That all being said," said the Doctor, " we should try and find out what they want from us. It's likely they need us alive for one reason or another. The one on the carriage was likely there just to show that they were a threat, not to actually hurt any of us. Otherwise, there would have been at least one casualty. Our existence is of value to them. Normally this information would allow us to be able to explore how much they're willing to tolerate from us, but due to the fact that this entire city is being held hostage, I discourage us from pushing our luck. At the very least, they're taking us to whoever's behind this, or at least someon- Erm, somepony in the chain of command."

Rainbow took over Applejack's eye-rolling duty from earlier. "Yeah, so we basically can't do anything until we land in their trap?" The Doctor answered with a simple "Precisely." Rainbow let out a long, heavy groan. "Great! Sure! We might as well stand on the red X on the ground they set up, too!" The Doctor just sighed and shook his head.

Eventually, they arrived at the castle. Once inside, they were led down a hallway that all the girls recognized. "Wait," said Fluttershy, "we're heading to the princesses' throne room!"

When they did get to the throne room, a figure unfamiliar to all of them was sitting atop the throne while a sad & defeated-looking Princess Celestia sat to one side and a mannequin holding a guard hostage was on the other. The figure was a grey, male minotaur. Rarity recognized the outfit, at least, as he was dressed in a black Nehru jacket with matching slacks and gloves that she had hoof-crafted herself. Their captor's mane was slicked back, while both it and it's beard had a salt and pepper color to them, black interspersed with white and grey.

Actually, the more the Doctor thought about it, that beard looked rather familiar. He knew a former friend of his who would try his best to maintain a goatee throughout his regenerations, even that one time he was a woman. Their friendship ended since his ambitions and pride had caused the Doctor to butt heads with him, and the Doctor had to stop him on more than one occasion... No, there was no way. The Doctor didn't even have an idea of how he ended up here, so there was no way he was able to follow him, right? It simply was not possible!

"Hello again, Doctor," the minotaur bellowed. He stood from his stolen seat, and he gave a light laugh that caused Fluttershy to cower behind Rainbow. "Do you like this form?" The minotaur approached the Doctor slowly. "It took me a while to get used to it, really, but it's certainly grown on me." Now that the beast was closer to the Doctor, he could sense that the villain was, indeed, a Time Lord. "As a matter of fact, while I lack the quote-on-quote 'magic' that most species of this land seem to have, I make up for it with the quite literal strength of an ox." He flexed one of his arms, admiring his own physique.

Rainbow had had enough. She hated it enough when somepony other than her was being a show-off, never mind when the idiot in question was threatening the lives of her friends, the princesses, and even ponies she didn't even know. "Alright pal, who the hay are you supposed to be?" The minotaur chuckled in response. "Dearest Doctor, why don't you tell them who I am? I do very much enjoy hearing you, of all people, say my name." The Doctor stared daggers into the eyes of his former friend and current foe. He gave a look that would have frightened anyone except who it was directed at, who was still wearing a rather smug smirk. He swallowed before saying the name of their captor.

"The Master."

Chapter 4: Violent Diplomacy

Twilight had died and had gone to the afterlife.

Well, no, she hadn't. She just didn't think it was possible for a place so amazing to exist outside of paradise.

Yet here she was. She was with one of her best friends in the entirety of Gaia, in a library filled with books with cultures she had never even had the chance to have heard of before. She was immortal, yet the amount of books of brand new ideas and philosophies made her feel as though she could spend all of that eternity in here and never be bored, at least for as long as its owner, Pinkie Pie, was still alive. Pinkie was walking alongside her and being unusually quiet, except when Twilight had a question about a specific text, which Pinkie would answer in a way that was equally informative as well as... Well, Pinkie-like. It was likely she was just letting Twilight take it all in at her own pace, which Twilight greatly appreciated. Twilight had been reading for hours about the histories of fantastical places like Gallifrey, Mars, Skaro, Earth, Mondas, Clom, Raxacoricofallapatorius, and so many more. Pinkie had even asked her to give recommendations on books to add to her still-growing Gaian section, particularly the Equestrian sub-section.

She was in Heaven.

At least, that's what the book she was reading whilst pacing through Pinkie's impossible library would have called it. It was named "the Bible" (which Pinkie had informed her was not pronounced "bee-bleh" after a considerable amount of giggling), and it was a "religious" text. Humanity, the species the book had originated from, didn't have an equivalent to Princesses and the like, and Twilight knew this. When Twilight went to the human world through the mirror portal, she had assumed the lack of magic just meant science filled in any gaps (learning that their Earth revolved around the sun at the time practically broke her mind). At the time she didn't consider the possibility that humans didn't always have many different scientific methods. Religions, therefore, were made to fill in those gaps that human expertise at the time couldn't.

Pinkie did tell her that no one knew the validity of most of these documents, and that they were the cause of many debates. Hence, why it was neither in the "human fiction" or "human non-fiction" sections, but rather a special category, the "human religion" section. Twilight was happy that she was reading something from a category of book that ponies just didn't have. She knew of other Gaian cultures that had their own set of beliefs about the universe and how it worked and the like, but ponies just had the princesses to fill in those gaps. Any pondering on what created the universe was more a matter of philosophy than faith, and as for anything else, if you wanted to talk to some all-powerful beings that could raise the sun and moon, you could set up an appointment to the royal palace.

In many ways, she observed, Gallifrey was similar.

Gallifrey was an amazingly advanced civilization by most planets' standards, Gaia included. However, they didn't really have a "religion" section in the library. There were texts from the earliest days of Gallifreyan civilization that were religious in nature, such as those by the Pythian Order, but they were simply lumped in with either the fiction section or shown as being mere parts of ancient Gallifreyan history. However, no society she had read about thus-far seemed to have advanced to the point where a reverence for an all-powerful being would become obsolete. Much like Equestrians and the princesses, Gallifreyans treated the pair of Time Lords Rassilon and Omega as the closest thing to "holy" as their respective societies could muster. The main difference was that they had invented their processes of regeneration as well as the means to travel through time, rather than control the planet's two suns and inconsistent number of moons.

Twilight also noted that their stories were also quite similar. Rassilon seemed to be their equivalent to Celestia, finding the secret to regeneration, while Omega was their Luna, discovering the secret to time travel. While she couldn't see evidence of them being related, there was still an evident brotherly bond between the two based on what she read. Omega, however, was consumed by tragedy. He had gone to capture the exact moment a star died to create what was called the Eye of Harmony (another strange coincidence), in order to power their time machines. However, he was caught in the resulting black hole, presumed dead for a long while. Rumors of sabotage, possibly even by Rassilon himself, were rampant, though unconfirmed. However, Omega would eventually reveal himself centuries later as having been trapped in a dimension of anti-matter, needing to be stopped by multiple incarnations of the Doctor from destroying the entire universe (the non-anti-matter one).

So, to recap, two beings considered godlike and all-powerful ruled over a strange and mysterious land. One of them, however, was banished to a celestial body that said being had a strong connection to, resulting in years of isolation that drove them mad and gave them a lust for power. Then said being returned (after, oh, say about a 1000 years or so) and tried to do a hostile takeover with an impossible goal that would cause untold disaster. The other being, meanwhile, would bask in the reverence and faith their people had in them for centuries to come.

Twilight just thought it sounded a little familiar.

Her mind was caught between two different questions ("would Equestrian society be as advanced as Gallifrey if there was no such thing as magic?" and "why would this Yahweh guy allow an innocent person to be tortured for the sake of a bet with his greatest adversary?") when a stray shelf caught her eye. It wasn't because of any books on it. Quite the contrary, there were no books in it whatsoever. The plaque on it, noting the species responsible for such a dried-up well of knowledge, said "SONTARAN LITERATURE."

Twilight was immediately curious. Nearly every species, even the ones you'd least expect, had books. Some were written by species incapable of imagination, dreadfully boring ones that detailed their history in the most droll way possible. "Cyberkind" had books, mostly ones written by "cyber-planners" to be used as propaganda, though there were a few by the original "Mondasian Cybermen." Even the Daleks, a species Pinkie described as beings genetically engineered to feel nothing but hate (which just made Twilight feel sorry for them) had a half-dozen books by rogue groups and cults (Pinkie recommended The Human Element by "Gamma"). But if there were any other species that had no books whatsoever, they certainly didn't have a shelf. So she did something rare for her, and put down a book in the middle of reading it.

"Pinkie," Twilight asked, "what's a Sontaran? And why don't they have a book?"

"Oh yeah, those guys!" Pinkie seemed as bubbly as ever, which was a good sign considered how nervous she looked when talking about the Daleks or how she dodged most questions about her planet's more recent history. "They're a clone race, meaning that somebody decided to make enough copies of themselves to qualify as a whole species! You can probably guess that I have no idea why anypony would possibly want that considering how lousy it was for me, but the original Sontar did. The reason they don't have books, though, is kinda sad."

"What do you mean?"

"Basically, they were specifically made for war and fighting. Any information they need can be gotten through a database, they don't really keep track of their own history outside of battle strategies, and they outlawed things that could make them question what it means to be a Sontaran, sooooooooo they kind of... Don't have artistic expression?"

Twilight blinked rapidly.

"Don't get me wrong, Twily," Pinkie said, looking a bit downtrodden. "they have emotions and names and can be individuals, kind of, but they only think in the context of war, so anything they don't think is necessary to war they just... Kinda don't do. This includes art, sadly." Her face lit up again. "But they do have parties! They're mostly to celebrate victories in war, or they even consider some battles a party, but they have parties! So they aren't complete stick-in-the-muds like Cybermen are. They know how to have fun, it's just that their idea of fun is... Bloody. I keep the bookcase around in the off-chance they do write a book! I call it my 'that'll-be-the-day shelf,' because that would be one Tartarus of a day!"

Twilight gave a look that managed to combine disbelief, frustration, sympathy and, above all, curiosity all in one. "That can't be true! They have to have at least one book! How is anypo- I mean anybody supposed to know anything about them if they don't write it down? Surely they have a book version of their 'database' or whatever!"

Pinkie just shrugged. "I'm sorry Twilight. They keep it as a closely guarded secret, in case their enemies want to find it. So no books."

Twilight's eye twitched. Pinkie suddenly felt a chill down her spine, and her teeth were chattering slightly, which she did her best to hide. Pinkie never had the heart to tell Twilight that her Pinkie Sense had a specific setting for "Twilight is going to have me involved in something completely crazy and unpredictably dangerous." She also didn't know what it meant that she felt a little excited about that.

Twilight tried her best to seem like she wasn't going to try and sacrifice the duo's time and safety just to satisfy her curiosity. "You said this was a time machine, right?"

Pinkie already knew what Twilight had in mind. "Uh, Twilight, that's not the best idea. I reaaaaaaalllllllly don't want the other Time Lords to know I'm here, and traveling through time could do just that. Like, I don't know for sure, but I really really really REALLY don't want them to find out about Equestria, so I really want to play it safe here. Besides, the Sontarans are in another universe, not this one!"

"Well, it's still a space machine, right? As in it can go anywhere right now?"

Pinkie squinted, putting a hoof to her chin. "Yeaaaah... So?"

"Soooo," Twilight beamed, "we could go to where one of their planets would be in your old universe, and we can check to see if there's a species like Sontarans similar to how Gaia is like Earth?"

Pinkie hesitated before giving an answer. She hadn't gone out and explored this new universe since she got there, since she quite enjoyed living on Gaia and she really didn't want to risk the Time Lords following her. Still, they probably couldn't track the TARDIS as long as she kept it in around the same day as she started a trip. They could detect if she surfed a tidal wave, but not her splashing in a puddle. And besides, she was also curious. Did Sontarans exist here? If not, what else could they find? If they did exist, were they any different from the ones she knew? How different? Did they still have parties?

Just as well, she just couldn't find herself saying no to Twilight, though she couldn't figure out why.

Pinkie grinned. "Well, it's a bit risky, buuuuuuuuuut... we can try going to Sontar BUT! But but but! You have to PROMISE you'll listen to what I say! Not a Pinkie Promise, but still a promise."

Twilight smiled. "I promise."

"Okie-dokie-lokie! TO THE CONTROL ROOM!"

Spike and the Cutie Mark Crusaders were in hot water, and they didn't even do anything this time.

Three of the mannequins in Rarity's shop were seemingly animated using some sort of "animate inanimate object" spell or something like that. It didn't explain how they had laser weapons out of nowhere like in a sci-fi novel, but maybe they were robots disguised as mannequins? None of them knew, but none particularly cared at that very moment, since they were a bit busy running for their lives.

Somehow, the fight took them inside Sugarcube Corner. It was Apple Bloom's idea. "Unless y'all know of some secret armory in Fluttershy's cottage," she said, "pies and pastries will haveta do!"

Of course, pies in the face aren't as effective against enemies without faces.

There were two mannequins left. There were originally three, but the Crusaders had managed to get out the old box of fireworks from when they had tried out the disastrous attempt at becoming "Cutie Mark Crusaders: Firework Operators," from the old days of when they lacked cutie marks of their own. Soon, after Scootaloo accidentally made a throw so horrific it knocked down a ceiling decoration, there was only one able to move still. For once, Spike was grateful that the Crusaders were somehow more chaotic than the literal embodiment of chaos.

The remaining mannequin took aim, trapping the children in a corner. It switched back and forth between the four, finally settling on the non-pony form of Spike. All four shut their eyes, holding each others' hooves and claws, expecting something at the very least painful if the burn marks the missed shots left behind were any indication. They braced for the worst.

Suddenly, there was a woosh coming from the upstairs hallway, and the children opened their eyes. It looked like... A flying cardboard box? Whatever it was knocked the weaponized arm clean from the threat's body, Leaving the shop without damaging the door. The now-disembodied arm was not so careful, firing haphazardly into the ceiling. The kids knew they had to get out of there rather quickly, so they rushed out the door, dodging laser fire like they had been for the past ten minutes. The moment they left the building, Sugarcube Corner collapsed on the two inanimate attackers. The Cakes and their children, thankfully, were on vacation in Canterlot, where absolutely nothing was going wrong whatsoever, certainly not killer shop dummies. Pinkie was probably in that cardboard box, since she was... Well, Pinkie, so she was probably OK as well.

They stood there, staring at the wreckage, panting from exhaustion. They smiled at one another, grateful they all made it out alive and well. It was Sweetie Belle who finally broke the silence.

"So, who's gonna tell the Cakes mannequins destroyed their bakery and that we had nothing to do with it?"

They all turned wide-eyed. After another moment, they all silently agreed to hide in the CMC clubhouse for the next 50 years, and headed in that direction at a speed normally reserved for breaking the sound barrier.

"Welp, we just left Ponyville! Oh, and Gaia too."

Pinkie was running around the control panel, pushing buttons, pulling levers, popping party poppers that seemed to "magically" fix themselves, inflating balloons, and spinning those weird noisemakers you often see at New Year's parties that made a weird whirring sound. Twilight for her part, noticed that the way the ship was moving reminded her of whenever Pinkie sensed a "doozy". This must be how it feels to go through one.

"Normally this would be a LOT shorter," Pinkie continued, "but I wanna make sure we're out of this entire solar system first! That way if those boring buzzkills ARE able to find my TARDIS, they don't catch wind of Gaia before I can think something up. Also, don't worry about Sugarcube Corner. I made sure not to damage it! I mean, it's not like it collapsed or anything. Now, just have to find an empty spot in space, annnnnnnnd..." The TARDIS came to a sudden halt, which jolted Twilight. "HERE WE ARE! Deep space, with nothing in it! Nothin', zilch, nada."

Pinkie turned to Twilight. "Wanna see?"

Twilight felt confused for, what, the 847th time today? "Um, Pinkie, don't we need a space suit or something? I know Princess Luna spent a thousand years on the moon, but she's also an alicorn princess, which makes her... Immortal." Why did she hesitate to say that word?

Pinkie nodded. "Yep! But the TARDIS has an air shield! It's limited, but I can hold on to you if an asteroid hits us or something. Come onnnnnn! Don't you wanna see up close what you've been looking at through a telescope your whole life?"

Twilight sighed. Yes, of course she did. She nodded.

The pair climbed up the ladder to outside. Pinkie grabbed hold of one of Twilight's hind legs... And let Twilight float up out of the Party Box.

To Twilight, it was... Indescribable. She weighted nothing, the only thing she felt being Pinkie's forehoof on her leg. She saw thousands upon thousands of stars, each revolving around a planet of their own. She saw things only theorized about, as well. Galaxies in the distance, asteroids floating aimlessly, in the far, far distance, she could even see what she could only assume was a black hole.

She looked down to Pinkie Pie who, while not as wowed as Twilight, was still clearly awe-struck, her eyes shining brighter than the stars in the... Well, every where. Pinkie had told her that her universe had planets go around the sun, so this must have been a (possibly literal) magical experience for her. A whole universe whose natural laws were entirely different... No wonder she was excited. Twilight felt strangely happier whenever Pinkie was excited by something. She wondered why?

Twilight moved around to focus on different directions. Up down, left, right, behind her, straight ahead, and every single combination thereof. She realized that, since there was no gravity, there was no such thing as a direction. It was just... There. She shed a single tear, which she wiped away only to find that the blob of saltwater floated away, never to be seen by her again after today. She could only mutter out two words.

"It's... Beautiful."

"Yeah..."

Once they had gotten back inside, Pinkie made quick work of heading to Sontar, or at least where Sontar would have been in her universe. She punched in some co-ordinates into the console, then blew into the attached party blower. Sure enough, a low wheezing noise emanated through the machine. "That's the sound a TARDIS normally makes," Pinkie said. "Used to, it only happened when you left the breaks on, but there's just something so totally fun about that sound future models have it as a separate setting! It's a bit nostalgic for me, personally, with the Doctor and all that."

Twilight nodded. "Well, I'm assuming it works like a teleport, and our destination should be right outside, right?"

Pinkie nodded as well, but much more akin to a bobblehead on a stunt driver's motorcycle. "Yeperooni! Just be careful. If the Sontarans do exist in this universe, they're probably just as... Antsy, when it comes to party guests. Soooooo, let me go first, so I can scout things out!"

Without waiting for an answer, Pinkie went straight to the ladder outside, causing Twilight to grab her tail using her magic. "Pinkie," Twilight said, "I think we should head out together. You definitely have more experience, I'm not arguing that, but I'm the Princess of Friendship. That means I have some experience in things like diplomacy, and, as Equestria's first representative to a non-Gaian government, I feel like I should be there to meet with them."

Pinkie looked back at her friend as if she was about to ride a motorcycle through 12 flaming hoops and over 15 vats of toxic waste. "Twily, these are Sontarans. They LIVE for war! I don't mean that in the way that I live for parties, though I certainly do, I mean they are literally genetically designed for war! Like, this is what happened with Yakistan times FIFTY MILLION, Twilight! If you're going to do this, you have to be extremely careful. Like, super-duper-alley-ooper careful!"

"I swear I will, Pinkie."

"Pinkie Promise?"

Twilight didn't even hesitate. "Pinkie Promise. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye."

Pinkie apprehensively nodded as Twilight flew up to the entrance, waiting for Pinkie to meet her at the top. Once they were both at the TARDIS door, being just large enough for them both to stick out their heads, they peeked their heads out of the TARDIS doors, to look and see if anyone spotted them arriving.

The laser guns pointed at their faces gave them their answer.

Their four-legged captors wore armor that covered their entire, a deep, rich blue that bordered on being the color black. Their helmets covered their faces, perfectly round with only two black slits to indicate if any life was in them, and even then it was difficult to make out if there were any eyes. Interestingly, one seemed to be using unicorn magic to hold up their weapon, while the other had wings covered in lightweight armor. It seemed that Equestria was not the only planet with quadpedal lifeforms, and that quite possibly the existence of magic allowed four-legged species to have far more of a dominance than they otherwise would have.

"State your name, occupation, and purpose for landing on the planet Sontar!"

It was unclear which one had said that, but it seemed to be coming from the direction of the winged one. Both noted that, while the voice was certainly intimidating, it also seemed to be the voice of a mare. Pinkie in particular thought this was significant, since the Sontarans of her universe were exclusively male-presenting.

After a moment, Twilight was the first to answer, looking understandably nervous and trying her best to maintain composure. "My name is Twilight Sparkle. I am one of the royal princesses of the nation of Equestria on the planet Gaia, and my friend and I are here on a diplomatic visit, the first venture onto another planet in our history."

Pinkie gave a calm little smile and gave a more energetic answer. "Pinkie Pie. Being Pinkie Pie. Fun!"

The two figures looked at each other at that, then glanced back to their captives. "If you are truly here for diplomacy," said the voice coming from the direction of the magic-user, "then you shall accompany us to meet with our glorious leader, Sontar Prime!" Both voices started a chant of "SONTAR-HA! SONTAR-HA!" that the pair of ponies were going to become all-too-familiar with. "Now," the same voice as earlier continued, "leave your box, and that is an order!"

The Time Lord and the alicorn looked at one another before they slowly exited the TARDIS. "Now then," said the pegasus Sontaran, probably, "you shall both be subjected to a thorough search, and the alicorn shall allow herself to have her horn and wings be detained. Is that understood?" Both mares nodded. "Good. Let us begin."

Both Sontarans went up to the unannounced diplomats, the pegasus going up to Pinkie and the magic user going up to Twilight. Both were subjected to metal detectors, with the one searching Pinkie finding something in her hair. As Twilight had her wings trapped via metal and her horn became attached to a highly-advanced-looking magic inhibitor, Pinkie was having a myriad of items being produced from her mane, including a rubber duck, a a paddle ball, a party hat, a collection of candy canes, twelve different kinds of noise-maker, a small metal cylindrical device (the only thing of any importance), and by complete accident a toothless alligator. "Oh, there you are, Gummy!" Pinkie gave her pet a hug before handing him to her assigned guard. "He'll be safe, right?" The Sontaran nodded. Pinkie would have said something akin to "he'd better be," but she knew not to threaten a Sontaran, even if that threat could be carried out. Sontar was not the only planet Sontarans controlled in her universe, and she doubted these ones were much different in that regard.

"Alright," said one of the guards, "since you are on a mission of diplomacy and you appear to be unarmed, we shall remove our helmets so you can view our glorious visage for yourselves." The other nodded in agreement, and both proceeded to take off their helmets. They were ponies... Of sorts. They had no mane, tail or coat, and their skin was a bit wrinkly and brown. They reminded Twilight of potatoes. And while it could have been that she was used to ponies having a wide variety of different coat and mane colors, she couldn't help but think, aside from the fact that one had a horn and the other didn't, they looked almost exactly the same. Twilight hoped that "clone race" meant exactly what she thought it meant, or else she would feel awkward for not being able to tell them apart. Well, more awkward.

Of note to Pinkie, however, was the confirmation that both were mares, if the facial structure was any sign of that fact. Sontarans were typically an all-male species. They were technically intersex, due to how they had both male and female parts, but the testosterone used to increase their strength had them almost exclusively present male, their feminine traits only showing in the rare occurence that they lived to old age. The fact that these ones were female was intriguing. She did notice that many different Gaian societies, particularly Equestria, had a matriarchal history in the same way Earth had patriarchal ones, among other planets. Could a matriarchal history be more common in this universe? If so, why? It was a question for another time, but still a worthwhile one. And aside from that, why use testosterone when any earth pony could have immense strength? Presuming they did have earth pony units, of course.

As they followed their forceful guides, the girls decided to take in their surroundings. The area they appeared to be in seemed to resemble a desert area with red sand, with Pinkie noting that it reminded her of Mars in Earth's solar system. It was apparently nighttime, judging by the lack of a sun, though there wasn't a moon, the sky being illuminated by stars. Yet, there were a myriad of ponies out and about doing various tasks, each either an earth pony, a pegasus or a unicorn. Many were involved with war preparation and to took to it rather jovially, of course, but there were a number of ponies doing other tasks such as farming and nursing, none of whom seemed particularly happy about (especially the nurse with a shovel mounted on her wall). The most striking thing, however, was that they all still looked almost exactly alike and, even more shockingly, the ones not wearing armor all had the exact same Cutie Mark. Presumably all of them did. It depicted two battle axes crossed together, akin to a coat of arms. This was true even of the ones assigned to the less warlike tasks, which would explain the grumpy attitudes they had.

Rather than focus on that and potentially upset the representatives of a species her friend had told her were specifically made for war on this diplomatic trip, something else caught Twilight's eye. "So, what kind of weapons are those? We don't really have anything like it in Equestria, and I assume the rest of our planet couldn't make heads or tails of it either."

The pegasus seemed prideful as she answered. "These are the most advanced laser weapons in most galaxies. They are a combination of top secret laser technology with two of the most powerful emotion-based magics out there." Pinkie's ears perked up at this. She had figured laser technology would be similar, but the fact that the technology could combine with magic intrigued her. Of course, however, the Sontarans managed to find some way to combine magic and technology and immediately used it to make a weapon. Still, in fairness, so would a majority of planets.

The Unicorn continued for the pegasus, equally prideful. "Specifically, they are the magic energies of comradery and glory. While not as strong as concepts such as 'friendship-'" a word she said in a somewhat mocking tone- "Comradery is still a source of great power, and much more consistent in terms of effect. Glory, meanwhile, grows stronger and stronger in the heat of battle, as to fight in war is the greatest glory one could ever have. The most efficient part of that, however, is that the death of a fellow soldier increases both comradery, since the still-living soldier would naturally want to avenge the fallen comrade, and glory, since the dying soldier would feel the honor of dying in battle, causing her glory to join the collective magic of our reserves. It is quite efficient, and perfectly in line with our values as Sontarans!"

The two guards, and many bystanders, joined in with a chorus of "SONTAR-HA! SONTAR-HA!" As they were doing so, the two friends were distraught over what they heard, although Pinkie was far less surprised by the attitude. Pinkie once again noted to herself that, even though these versions of Sontarans apparently had some form of culture, it was only to better utilize their weapons. Still, both knew the importance of not criticizing the culture they were being diplomats to. Twilight was gaining experience with that as the princess of friendship, while Pinkie had over a lifetime and a half as president of a planet to go by. Both wisely kept their mouths shut.

After a short while of walking, they finally reached their destination. The group ended up in a massive throne room, the walls painted a rich, dark red. The room was decorated with mounted weaponry and tapestries depicting great battles the Sontarans had with various adversaries, primarily ones with green, jellyfish-looking creatures as the enemy.

OK, thought Pinkie, some things never change.

The most magnificent thing that graced the room, however, was the apparent ruler. They were an alicorn. They had no coat and brown wrinkly skin, similar to their subjects, but they also had a mane and tail as white as snow, just as long as both Celestia and Luna's. They also had a beard the exact same color and length, though it was in a style that allowed their more feminine features to shine through. Despite the beard and the multitude of proudly displayed battle-scars, they seemed to be feminine presenting. While their appearance may not have been as impressive as the two sisters, it was still an awe to behold for the first time.

"Greetings," said the leader. They had a voice that sounded similar to the two guards, except with more weight to it and a sense of authority. Pinkie could tell they were no longer a warrior like their subjects, but that they made up for that with a mind for the theater of war. Not a soldier, but a general. Pinkie always knew, even if Sontarans could be a force to reckoned with and have an infamously uncooperative attitude, that meeting with the oldest, wisest and creator of an entire intergalactic empire would feel grandiose. This feeling was certainly amplified by the creator in question being an alicorn.

"My name is Princess Sontar Prime, and I am the leader of the proud and glorious planet of Sontar." Their (now confirmed to be her) relatively more calm introduction was following by yet another chant by the guards of "SONTAR-HA! SONTAR-HA!" The princess didn't join in, but her expression showed that she was taking in the chants with stride, as if listening to a beautiful and calming tune. Twilight certainly didn't share that feeling. Quite the opposite, in fact.

Nevertheless, diplomacy was diplomacy. "It's an honor to meet you, Princess. My name is Twilight Sparkle, and this is my friend, Pinkie Pie." Pinkie gave an enthusiastic wave as Twilight continued. "I represent the kingdom of Equestria on the planet of Gaia. I am also a princess, though not the ruler of my nation. Specifically, I am known as the princess of friendship."

Twilight went on to apologize for the unannounced visit, quickly coming up with the excuse that this was their first time contacting a nation from beyond Gaia. She expressed the purpose of her visit, as a way to learn of a new culture, as well as the fact that Pinkie was the one to provide transport. Sontar Prime, for her part, listened intently.

"I shall commend to you," Sontar Prime began, "that it is certainly an honor that we are chosen as the first nation your kind has chosen to contact. We are also honored that one of these beings present is a fellow alicorn and the other is a Temporal Royal."

Pinkie blinked. "A say what now?"

"A Temporal Royal."

Pinkie was cautious with her next question. "How were you... Able to guess?"

"Simple, really. You have two hearts according to your earlier scan, and the fact that you were spotted in a cardboard box is a clear indication of a Time Ship's camouflage circuit in action."

Great, so we're able to screw up history here, too. Pinkie cleared her throat. "Alright! You got me! But I have since permanently moved onto Gaia. The ponies of Gaia are gallant, kind, and know how to have fun!"

Sontar Prime nodded. "Still, it is an honor to have a former resident of the planet Gallopfrey even step hoof onto our planet."

"I'm sure it is, though I wouldn't say it's that big of a deal and I'm sorry but did you just say say Gallop-frey?"

"Yes, what of it?"

"Oh nothing, just checking. Some ponies end up pronouncing it wrong all of the time." Pinkie yelled internally. GALLOP-FREY?!? Even in SPACE you can't escape the puns!

"Now then," continued her majesty, "are there any wars you need fighting?"

Twilight shook her head. "No, Princess. This is purely for cultural reasons, as I've said. After all, I am the princess of friendship."

The native princess seemed almost relieved. "That's good. If you were, I'd have you each fight my greatest warriors to the death to show your worth, but I really don't want to lose my best mares to a Temporal Royal and a fellow alicorn." Twilight and Pinkie looked at one another with both concern and relief. They certainly didn't want to be fighting anypony today.

"Instead," the princess continued, "you shall be fighting each other."

The two mares shared the exact thought, and both vocalized that thought simultaneously and much louder than they intended. "WHAT?!?"

"You shall each fight until one of you causes the other to shed blood. There shall be an audience watching you in the arena, to see if you can truly live up to the standards OF THE GLORY OF SONTAR!"

"SONTAR-HA! SONTAR-HA!"

"Now then, you shall be escorted to your chambers until we have the battle prepared."

Twilight felt like her own nerves were shaking. "Princess, I really don't think-"

"You shall have the best accommodations we can offer on such short notice," Sontar Prime interrupted. "If you are to be an ally of Sontar, then we must give you the very best we can offer you. FOR THE SAKE OF SONTAR!"

"SONTAR-HA! SONTAR-HA!"

"LET US OUT OF HERE, YOU MASS PRODUCED MRS. POTATO HEADS!"

All in all, it was fairly nice for a prison cell. There were chairs, a table, and a semi-comfortable looking bed. Plus, privacy for the toilet in the form of a dark red curtain. Strangely, none of it utilized any advanced technology. It seemed more at home in Applelooza than on another planet. None of that stopped Pinkie from clasping the prison bars, yelling at nopony in particular, hoping that some guard was hiding just out of their line of sight. Their captors had already taken her sonic screwdriver, so she couldn't just break out. The two friends would just have to wait to be retrieved. Twilight wondered how the actual prisoners were treated if this was how they treated ambassadors, if they even bothered taking prisoners.

Pinkie kept yelling, hoping for some form of reaction. "YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A TOY LINE THAT HAS ISSUES WITH INTIMACY! FACE ME YOU COWARDS!" But there was no response. Either these were some uncharacteristically quiet Sontarans, or there was nopony in earshot. She rested her head upon the bars and sighed. "I'm sorry, Twilight," she said quietly. "I really screwed things up this time."

Twilight sighed. "No, Pinkie, this is my fault. I'm the one who insisted we go to Sontar. I shouldn't have had you go when you knew something would go wrong."

"No, Twily, don't blame yourself. You had no idea this would happen, and I didn't think it would either." Pinkie paused for a moment. "Maybe neither of us did anything wrong."

Twilight just nodded, unsure of what to say next.

Pinkie looked back at Twilight and trotted over to her. "Hey, don't worry! Things will turn out just peachy, I'm sure of it! We just... Have to wait it out. Planning something right now seems like a mistake, we'll have to improvise a way out once they let us out of our cell. Then, we could totally kick their flanks so hard they'll be banished to the moon!"

Twilight just nodded again. Pinkie noticed she seemed... Well, sad, understandably. Pinkie, equally as understandably, didn't like seeing that. Hmm, she thought, what's the best way to cheer up Twilight? Information! Of course!

"Hey, Twily," she said softly, "we're gonna be here for a bit, sooooooo why don't you ask me questions?"

Twilight's ears perked up. Jackpot, thought Pinkie.

"What kind of questions, Pinkie?"

"Anything! Any question you might have about Gallifrey, my time with the Doctor, what it's like to rule a planet, what it was like to fight in the Time War, anything you can think of! And don't worry if it makes me uncomfortable, I'll still answer it best I can. So, what's question numero uno?"

Twilight gave a small smile. "Oh, Pinkie, you always know how to cheer me up."

And thus, the questions began. Pinkie regaled tales of the Key to Time, how she won an election against a drunk opponent, her childhood, and how the TARDIS was made and how it was bigger on the inside (Twilight was shocked to learn they were actively grown like a plant). She also told more somber tales, like her time as Romana III, the origin of the Daleks, weapons used throughout the war like continuity bombs and temporal cannons... And even some of the horrible things she did. She told of other friends she had, from the brave and noble human warrior Leela to the suave and cunning Time Lord politician Irving Braxiatel. The next few hours were filled with laughs, tears, arguments, forgiveness, a sense of wonder, a sense of dread, and countless different emotions and thought processes.

Overall, Twilight was much happier than she was before. Or at the very least, she didn't feel nearly as hopeless. This, in turn, made Pinkie feel better.

It didn't make talking about the war any easier.

"Imagine you ruled Equestria, Twilight, and creatures that were literally made to be big ol' meanies put us at war. And over the years, Equestria makes crazier and crazier weapons, just trying to keep up. Eventually, it gets to the point where your ponies stop caring about how safe a weapon is, or if it's even ethical to make. And you think 'well, this sucks, but we're dealing with the most evil things in the universe, and they don't care if they make the worstest weapons to use on us, so why not?' Then, all of a sudden, you're on the same level as these evil things in terms of firepower. Then, one day, you hear that normal, civilian ponies are being caught in the crossfire. Which again, is awful, but you're fighting the most evil things ever, so it's expected they take the war to places it shouldn't go. But when you hear what the civilian casualities were, to your horror, you realize that they don't even know which side caused more of them.

"Not only that, but your memory gets... Changed. Or is it that history is changing, and your memory managed to stay the same? Didn't you used to have more guards? You did have a sister, right? Wasn't there a sixth element-bearer? There had to be right? Why does the newspaper feel like it has different news stories than it did the first time you read it? Actually, is the newspaper shorter than before? Didn't they used to have more cartoons and a crossword puzzle? Why can't you remember any crossword puzzle all too well? Do they still exist? Does the pony who invented them still exist? So many questions, and some of them might be nothing. Just general confusion mixed in with the actual problems.

"And at one point, you reach some horrible, bad, no good conclusion. It can't be right... Except it is. Somehow, your ponies have become worse than the enemy... And so have you, because you didn't do anything to stop them. Well, if you could've done anything to stop them. There was a lot of red tape, and your messengers never told you how moral the army's tactics were getting. Why would they? They just tell you about all those fancy-schmancy new weapons that can be used to hurt the enemy, or if a battle is going well. The details might make you realize what's happening. And the worst part is, aside from the enemy, nopony's really to blame. It was like we were frogs, and the lowering of our moral standards was our boiler, and each attack by the enemy just turned the dial the tiniest bit more. It doesn't keep me from pointing hooves around, including at myself, but I digress.

"And then there were the side effects. There were points where neither side knew who they were fighting, or even who they were. I'm almost certain I'm a Time Lord, but we did reanimate a lot of our dead to fight for us, and getting them erased from history is a nightmare, so we could have had completely different names, philosophies, technologies, religion, biology... Anything really. Sometimes I wonder if that's why religion lost so much influence on Gallifrey aside from the Sisterhood of Khan... And as for the enemy, I'm pretty sure they were Daleks but... I'm not sure if that was always the case or if there was another enemy we just didn't want to name or... Whatever. I might've been president in two different time wars, or it could've just been one big one. I don't even know how many times I've regenerated! Either way, history itself was toast.

"And then, of course, there were creatures that our weapons created that technically never existed. The Meanwhiles and Neverweres, led by the Could Have Been King. Creatures made from the various paradoxes our conflicting weaponry created... They're almost impossible to describe. I can't remember what made the meanwhiles different from the neverweres, and maybe that was what made them different. The neverweres were definitely creatures that didn't exist but also... Did? They were all extremely scary anyways, and the distinction didn't really matter if they were chasing after yo-"

"Pinkie," Twilight interrupted, "you can stop now. Your hair's gone flat, and I know that means you're... Not exactly in a good place, mentally speaking."

Twilight was happy to change the subject. For one thing, it was hurting her friend to talk about it, and no amount of curiosity could make that bearable. Even if that weren't the case, however, hearing about this was... Disturbing, to say the least. Twilight couldn't imagine how it felt to watch your own kind become something horrible. It also made her a bit paranoid to think that there was any form of weaponry, magic or not, that could change history so frequently to the point where your own memories are rendered forfeit, almost to the point of uselessness. That entire ponies that you knew and loved might've been retroactively rendered non-existent. And that wasn't even touching on the fact that there were nightmarish creatures that technically didn't exist, but could still render you dead, quite literally in spite of that fact.

Pinkie stared at Twilight for a moment, then examined her hair. It now had as much floof as spaghetti, and the bounciness of concrete. "Huh. I guess it has. Umm.... Let's change the subject, then." She gave a nervous chuckle and an awkward smile. "Do you want to know how this universe was made?"

Twilight sat stunned for a moment. The question caught her off-guard. Yes, Pinkie was a time traveling alien that fought creatures that apparently didn't technically exist, but she couldn't know... THAT much, could she? Well, even if she didn't, at the very least it was a welcome distraction. "Um... Sure?"

Pinkie cleared her throat. "OK, so before we start... I want you to know our world is real, right? It's reaaaaalllllly easy to think it might not be. Like, it could easily give you an existential crisis if I told you it outright, so just know ahead of time tha-"

"Is this about the fourth wall?"

It was now Pinkie's turn to be stunned at Twilight's question. Her hair returned to it's fluffy bouncy self as she gave a quite resonant

"W H A T ? ! ?"

"Because Princess Celestia, Princess Luna and Applejack already walked me through it. I know that our reality is real, it's just that another one sees us as fictional, and they could be fictional in another world too. And, in case you were wondering, I sense that I'm part of some comedic political satire."

"APPLEJACK? APPLEJACK KNOWS ABOUT THE 4TH WALL?!? I get that princesses might, MIGHT, know about that, but how did APPLEJACK of all ponies know? It took me years of training to get my degree in meta-pataphysics and know how to perceive my personal genre and medium! And you're telling me Applejack can teach it as well as the princesses?"

Twilight blinked, confused. Then, she thought of something. "Pinkie, you do know that sensing the fourth wall is part of earth pony magic, right?"

Pinkie looked red with anger, steam exiting her ears, but turned back into her normal pink color as she took deep breaths. "Sorry, it's just... That took me a Gaian decade to learn how to do any of that, you know? And... You're saying earth ponies can just sense it?"

"Yeah," Twilight said, slightly embarrassed. "Everypony senses it differently. AJ thinks it's a dramatic play. Princess Luna senses it as a tragic ballad, which isn't really surprising to be honest. Cadence's view on it is even less surprising! Her life is literally a romance novel according to her!" That got a giggle out of Pinkie, which Twilight knew was a good sign.

"And Celestia?"

"She thinks it's a series of propaganda posters, but you didn't hear that from me."

Both shared a small laugh, then another small, deafening silence. Pinkie spoke up again. "Well, that wasn't what I was gonna say, but I am happy you already have a grasp of that. For your information, I think it's a cartoon show! A very... Messed up one considering the war, but still a cartoon. Seriously though, the truth is crazier than that. Because, you know, our world would still exist if nopony told stories about us in another universe."

Twilight was intrigued, as most would be. "So what did create our universe?"

Pinkie gave a nervous chuckle of her own. "Would you believe me if I said it all started in a place called Deffry Vale High School?"

"... What?"

Author's Note

The outlandish headcanon about 4th wall breaking earth ponies was taken from here. We like it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NXgFB2QtM0&pp=ygUdYXNrIHBvbmllcyBvY3RhdmlhIGFuZCB2aW55bCA%3D
Most else we took straight from Doctor Who side-canon in the extended universe. The Doctor Who wiki is a rabbit hole, by the by, and we were trapped there for some time. That's part of the reason this took so long, aside from procrastination.
Also, points to whoever can spot the Veggietales reference.
EDIT: Accidentally named Coal Hill instead of Deffry Vale as the school. Whoops!

Chapter 5: And That's How the Universe Was Made!

Author's Note

NOTE: In the last chapter, we name-dropped Coal Hill Secondary School at the end. This was an error, the actual school was Deffry Vale High School.

Also, near the end of this chapter, there's going to be some color-coded text, like this. We apologize if any readers are in any way unable to see the color red due to a form of color blindness, though hopefully it doesn't effect your enjoyment of the story.

Chapter 5: And That's How the Universe Was Made!

Rainbow laughed.

Despite the threat of the possibly-alien minotaur holding the entirety of Canterlot, including Princess Celestia, hostage, using technology the likes Equestria had never before seen, she was laughing directly at the source of the city's terror.

"THE MASTER?!? YOU EXPECT US TO CALL YOU THE MASTER?!? AND PONIES ACTUALLY AGREE TO THAT?!?"

Her laughter echoed through the throne room, although if this bothered the villain that stood before Rainbow and her friends, he didn't show it. He simply snapped his fingers, and laser fire from the plastic monsters fired into the roof, stopping Dashie's giggles dead in their tracks. The Master smirked.

"Universally."

The expressions amongst the group were varied, but all shared a negative quality. Applejack and the Doctor gave a determined look, one which Rainbow quickly changed to match. Fluttershy and Rarity, of course, seemed absolutely horrified. Starlight tried her best to give a merely determined look, attempting to hide her own terror from their new adversary.

The Master's smirk was was met with the Doctor's scowl. "Pay him no mind, Ms. Dash," the Doctor stated. "He is simply nothing more than a boorish, unimaginative brute."

The Master gave a sinister chuckle. "See? Even the all-mighty Doctor won't deny me my name." His smirk grew wider at seeing the Doctor's scowl deepen. The Time Lord sat back down on his throne, a comfortable-looking chair seemingly designed for minotaurs put on top of Celestia's more equine-fitted one. He put his arms on the armrests, which themselves were a rare sight in Equestria, using them to tap a repetitive rhythm with his fingers.

"Truly, dear Doctor, this 'Equestria' is even easier to conquer than most planets I've come across. Don't get me wrong, they are quite the formidable threat. Why, look at their archon here." He gestured towards Celestia to his side, prompting her to look away and down to the floor. "I blasted her with the full force of both my laser screwdriver and multiple rounds of my Autons' laser fire. Yet, she came out of such encounters unscathed! You can imagine how shocked I was. However, she did something I did not believe any government leader ever would, which was even more shocking."

The Doctor's sour expression didn't so much as shift even slightly. "And what, precisely, would that be?"

The Master delivered that horrible laugh again. "Why, she actually cares about her subjects." He directed the group's attention to the palace guard being held hostage by one of the mannequins. "My lovely Autons are more than capable of keeping the more mortal ponies in line, and believe me when I said I checked if they were mortal. So all I had to do was hold even the most insignificant little stallion hostage, and voila! Captured a goddess, and I didn't so much as have to use any restraints. To think, the only real weakness of hers I could find was what she cherishes most. Her little ponies."

Applejack butted in, not being able to take much more of this. "What in tarnation do ya want, you snake?"

"To see what the Doctor shall do," the Master responded without even a millisecond of hesitation. "And, if I am especially clever and fortunate, to defeat him. A new question, if you would be so kind."

This response caused both Applejack and the Doctor to grimace further than they already had. Rainbow, however, decided a smug look of her own was in order.

"Yeah, here's one," said Rainbow defiantly. "Did you really think 'Set Ram' was clever or something? I mean, it's pretty easy to figure out the anagram with even a little bit of context. I mean, I'm not exactly Clover the Clever, but I was able to solve your little puzzle literally a minute after we met you! The Doc was right, you really don't have an imagination!"

For the first time since the group entered the room, the Master frowned. Rainbow couldn't have been happier to see it. Well, she would have been if there weren't killer "Autons" everywhere, but hey, it's the little victories. The Master stared deep into Rainbows eyes for a mere moment, although it felt like an eternity for everyone else in the room.

The Master cleared his throat, in a rare occurrence of being taken off-guard. "Well, it wasn't really meant to be clever..."

It was Rarity's turn to throw accusations. "YOU were the brute who sent those mannequins! You monster! To think, I hoof-made you the outfit you're currently wearing as a thank you gift, and it turns out you were stringing me along the whole while! There are foals out there you could be hurting!"

"Not could be," the fiend corrected, his smug grin returning, "are. Though I must say I am impressed with your designs. This is better than what I had in mind, and it's very comfortable to boot. I may well let you live just so I can have more like it. I can be quite generous, too, you know."

Rarity, in response, gave an un-lady-like growl. This resulted in a very small chuckle from the Master.

"How long have you been here?" The Doctor shot the question with all the fury of a flaming bullet. "You can't have done all this in the few hours I've actually been here, now can you have?"

The Master kept up his rhythmic tapping on the armrest, seemingly bulletproof. "A month."

"A month?" Starlight eyed the minotaur suspiciously. "You can't seriously be saying you started a company, made so many of your 'Ought-Tons' or whatever and got them into so many clothing stores in just a month!"

The Master once again gave a cruel chuckle. "No, I'm telling you I managed to do that in two weeks. You really shouldn't build your societies around groups as easy to manipulate as nobility."

The Doctor fired another question, venom in his voice. "How did you even find this place?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"I am a unicorn, and you are a minotaur."

The Master gave a neutral expression. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again. "Point taken."

He got up from his seat, ceasing his tapping for the moment, and began to pace around the thrones of the two sisters as he explained. "You see, Doctor, when you were exiled, something apparently went horribly wrong. Apparently someone didn't show up in time, and they had to settle for executing you instead of whatever they were planning, and their machines apparently broke when trying to send you to your precious Earth. They apparently couldn't find where you were despite placing a tracking device in your TARDIS. It wasn't destroyed or anything of the sort, otherwise an alarm or something or other would have gone off. My first thought that you were in an alternate universe, but at the very least it would have given a false signal, indicating where and when you were in an alternate universe. Then, I went off on some wild hunch. The strangest idea. An idea the council would never dare even entertain due to the danger of it. In fact, it would have been certain death in their eyes. But clearly, it worked, or else I wouldn't be here."

The Doctor tried his best to hide his curiosity. "And what, exactly, would that be?"

The Master gave a large, foreboding grin. "Tell me, Doctor...

"What do you think comes after the end of the universe?"

"... And that's how the universe was made!"

Twilight sat, a bit dumbfounded by what Pinkie had just said.

"Wait, back up a bit, how did she come across this equation again?"

Pinkie sighed. "I guess the audience didn't catch that one," she half-joked. Both gave small laughs. It was nice to know somepony else knew about the fourth wall.

"So, OK, so there was this place called Deffry Vale High School. It got infiltrated by a species called the Krillitanes. Those meanies were trying to use highschoolers to solve this equation, an equation that was said to allow you to rewrite the universe itself." She waved her forelegs as if they were noodles while making an "oooooh" noise. "So that the kids would be smart enough to solve this equation, they super-charged a lot of the school Prench Fries so that it would make kids smarter! They would have done it themselves, but they had no imagination as a species, which is really really REALLY sad if you think about it. I think they got stopped by some reporter and her dog, or something?

"Anyways, one girl, who I think was named 'Larry Frost' or something like that, found out what the equation was supposed to do and decided she was gonna solve it on her own. She stole whole bags of those fries, and used her potassium-based new smarts to download the work that was done so far onto a modified thumb drive. It took her decades to try and solve it! Then, when she almost had it, she used the smarts to build her own personal time machine, and she went to near end of her universe. That way, she could rewrite the universe without destroying the old one. Pretty neat, huh? That's when I met her! At that point, she grew really old to the point where she looked like a human Granny Smith. She said she was going to create a universe where things like magic and mythological creatures were real, like some old cartoon she used to watch. So after that, I decided to go further than where a TARDIS would normally allow me to go based on what Larry said annnnnnnnnd... TADA! I ended up in Equestria!

"... And that's how the universe was made!"

Twilight nodded. She... Kind of got what Pinkie was saying. Bat-people, intelligence-enhancing Prench fries and a math equation created the universe that allowed her to exist.

Yes.

Of course.

That made sense.

"Uhhhhh Twilight?" Pinkie was visibly concerned. "Your eyes are kinda spaced out there."

With said dazed look, Twilight smiled and responded. "I'm fine! Prench fries are the creator of the universe so we could make more Prench fries! It all makes complete sense!"

Pinkie lightly smacked Twilight a few times. "Thanks," Twilight said, "I needed that. So, that's... Not what I expected." A clear understatement. "Thankfully it doesn't make me feel like I'm not real like you thought it would."

Pinkie gave a quizzical look. "It doesn't?"

"Of course not! Yeah, it redefines a lot of philosophy, but I thought you were going to say something like we all existed in a sketchbook or something silly like that!"

Pinkie gave a sigh of relief. "Well, that's good. We're not actually fictional. At least, I don't think we are. Hey, author!"

... Us?

"Yeah, you! Are we fictional?"

Erm... We don't think so. We believe in the multiverse, so the odds are there is a universe where you're real and what we're writing is really happening. Then again, that's more of a philosophical/faith-based thing on our part, so take what we say with a grain of salt. Try not to ask us too many questions, OK? We like going meta, but not over-the-top meta to the point where it effects the story, you know?

"Cool! So a 'probably not!' Thank you, crazy people!"

The crazy people say you're welcome.

"Alright," Twilight said, only partly hearing the other half of the conversation, "I guess that's reassuring. In any case, I'm not sure if it's going to matter if we have to go to the arena."

"Yeah," Pinkie sighed. "I really don't want to have to fight you to the death."

Twilight was quiet for a moment, when suddenly she was beaming. "THAT'S IT! They never said we have to fight to the death, Sontar Prime said we had to fight until one of us causes the other to bleed! She said nothing about death!"

Pinkie's smile grew wide. "OF COURSE! You're a genius Twily! But also, we can't just go 'hey we gave each other a papercut so let us go pwetty pwetty pwease!' We have to put on a show! You put on illusion magic, I'll keep dodging whatever crazy lights you throw out, and then you try and get a small cut in my ear or something. If you can't use magic, then we clash whatever melee weapons they throw at us until one of us cuts the other! Should be you that cuts me, since you're the princess and we wanna show your might! But there have been wars started over even small drops of Time Lord DNA, though we could still clean up the blood. Ooh! Do you think there's going to be a 'CONGRATS ON SURVIVING GLADITORIAL COMBAT' afterparty?!? That would be-"

"Pinkie, focus."

"Whoops! Sorry!" Pinkie closed her eyes and stuck out her tongue cutely.

Twilight gave a small giggle. "Pinkie, I think we'll be able to do this. As long as we don't get swept away in violence, we'll be able to figure something out. We'll be able to get through this, together."

They gave each other a hug. Just then, of course, their cell door opened. They saw two more Sontarans, though if these were the same guards from earlier or not they couldn't even begin to guess..

"Come along, Gaians! There is a GREAT and GLORIOUS BATTLE that you shall have the privilege to partake in!"

"SONTAR-HA! SONTAR-HA!"

"Woah woah woah," Rainbow said, "you're saying the Doctor's universe, YOUR universe, is dead?"

"Well, when you put it like that," the Master responded, "it sounds dreadful. But the Doctor and I are time travelers, so time is merely another form of distance. We may go back to it whenever we please. Well, I may go back to it. Not that I shall, so long as the Doctor remains."

The Doctor simply kept the questions coming. "What are the Autons?"

"They," the Master began, "are tools of the Nestine consciousness. They're a hive mind that manifests itself through plastic. They have been outfitted with some rudimentary laser weapons, designed specifically for our little-"

"ALRIGHT!"

Everyone else in the room stared with wide eyes at Starlight Glimmer. This included a now-scowling Master.

"Alright," Starlight said, gaining what little remained of her composure. "I'm getting sick of your sadistic little press conference. Stop this IMMEDIATELY, or else."

The menacing minotaur scoffed. "Or else what? You're not going to tell me that you're simply going to let innocents die just becau-"

ZAP

And with that, the Master had a slight headache and Starlight was out cold.

All present blinked at the now-unconscious Starlight. "Well," the Master began again, "I suppose she won't get to bask in my victory. Neither will most of you, come to think of it." He addressed his plastic army. "Spare the white unicorn. The rest you may deal with however you choo-"

A crash echoed from throughout the building. "Gah, what now? Can one not conquer a planet in peace?"

One Auton trotted up to the throne. It turned to its side, revealing to both the minotaur it was facing and the group of friends the spot where its cutie mark would have been. Slowly, bits of it gave way to a melty, asymmetrical hole with a dark abyss, constantly shifting in a slimy, disgusting manner. Then a slow, raspy voice came out of it, a voice that was not used to speech. "Massssster, there isssss another alicorn..."

Rarity fainted after the perverse cutie mark spoke, and none but the Nestine itself could blame her.

"I thought that one would have come with her friends here! She wasn't on the train, was she?"

"No, but thisssss one appeared regardlesssssss... Thisssss one issss not purple like you ssssaid, but rather blue... She isssss sstopping our Autonsssss before they can take care of our hosssstagessss..."

For the first time since the Master revealed himself, Celestia spoke, a smug grin of her own on her face. "It would appear you mixed up my faithful student, Twilight Sparkle, with my sister, Luna. And, unlike me, my sister actually knows how to handle a hostage situation. She was in charge of our military at one point, you know."

All of a sudden, all the Autons in the room turned their attention, and their weapons, towards the Master.

"Thissss issss all your fault..."

The Master seemed much more angry than before. "MY fault?"

"You did not resssssearch thisssss world well enough... We told you we should have replacccced the rulersssss with our own duplicatessss... But apparently your rivalry with thisss 'Doctor' takessss priority over actual ssssuccesssss... Therefore, you are now a detriment to our misssssssion..."

The Master just sighed. "You know, I was expecting to betray you first, but very well. If you do not want my services, I'll simply have to take what I came for and leave."

With that he rushed towards the Doctor, tackling him with enough force to crash them through the ground and onto the room directly below them, back at the entrance. This, combined with the ensuing laser fire, caused the remaining girls, as well as the hostage guard and Celestia, to either scatter or join in the fight, with Celestia taking care of the unconscious unicorns.

The two Gallifreyan foes, however, were busy getting their bearings across from one another on the lower floor. The Master quickly spotted a coat of arms, with two swords crossing one another over a shield with both the sun and moon adorning it. He quickly grabbed one and swung it at the Doctor... Only to discover the matching sword it clashed with, being held by a magical blue aura.

"Ah," said the Master, "I see you're already used to the 'magic' some of the residents here have?"

"It's fairly simple, really," replied the Doctor. "Even foals can learn it, provided they are a unicorn."

They started sword fighting while they bantered.

"Oh, great." The Master rolled his eyes. "Already you've gotten attached to another species. Although I will say, these beings have more promise than those mongrels in humanity ever did. Too bad they care too much about the feelings of others. Not certain that will last."

Despite the fact that his opponent was using 'magic' to carry his weapon, the Master managed to hold his own. All he really needed was to strike the Doctor, anyhow.

"Humanity has much more going for it than you'll ever give it credit. Though I must say, I am pleasantly surprised that there's a species you don't immediately dismiss."

Clash, clang

"Oh please, any species that has dominated nature to the point where they can control the weather is bound to leave a lasting impression."

The Doctor quickly ducked under a series of swings from his opponent before he caught the weapon with one of his own.

"Really? I didn't expect them to be able to create such technology before they invented the airplane."

The Master jumped to avoid a slash at his legs.

"It's much more odd than that. The winged ones can physically control and manufacture clouds, storms, snow, and can even paint rainbows across the sky."

Their swords kept striking at one another, neither overpowering the other.

"Why, that's remarkable! I would say 'impossible,' but I accomplished a feat just as remarkable earlier today, so it seems at least somewhat more believable."

Another clash, led by the Master.

"They even have this unique phenomenon known as a 'heartsong.' It's when one feels such intense passion and emotion that they and any number of others literally break into song, as if it were a musical."

Another clang, this one led by the Doctor.

"And you've seen this yourself?"

A slash. The Master managed to cut a small bit of the Doctor's cheek, though not enough for it to bleed just yet.

"My dear Doctor, I can invoke it right now. In fact, since I want this to last a while longer, I think I shall do just that, by using a song I already know..."

Another clash rang out before the Master asked an odd question.

"Do you enjoy the works of Tom Lehrer?"

Twilight and Pinkie were know officially in the arena. The stands were filled with cheering Sontaran mares, including one swinging a shovel wildly. They were all under a massive roof with artificial lighting, behind transparent shielding that would ideally protect the spectators from any wayward blasts of magic or weaponry. There was also a transparent covering on the ceiling, showing the star-filled night sky. Although, for whatever reason, it seemed to be made of a different material.

Twilight had all of her restraints removed, while Pinkie had been given most of her things back, an alligator excluded. When Pinkie asked where her pet was, she was pointed towards a large balcony that was shielded similar to the stands. Gummy, apparently, was given a seat right next to Sontar Prime herself at a large throne, where he rested on a maroon-red pillow. Pinkie gave the proper response.

"Gummy! I trusted you! How could you do this to us?"

Gummy, in his infinite wisdom, licked his eyeball.

"Don't give me that! I don't see what the teachings of Neighzsche have to do with any of this!""

Gummy blinked, a rare feat for the gator.

"We're gonna have a long talk when we get home, mister!"

It was then that Sontar Prime spoke up. "I assume you have both figured out that neither of you has to kill the other, just that one has to make the other bleed. We would warn against a certain workaround, but I feel that, even if that was your plan when you walked into our colosseum, you will not act upon it. Truthfully, if you did, all of us would be impressed."

Both combatants gave each other confused looks before looking back up at the planet's local princess. "Wait," Twilight said, "what do you mean by that?"

Sontar Prime gave a light chortle. "Have either of you heard of the term 'solar psychedelia?'"

Pinkie did, and responded with a perplexed look. "Yeah, it's this thing where a star goes all coco in the loco and makes everypony in its light gets all violent, but that does that have to do wi-"

And then it clicked. Both mares simultaneously put the pieces together. The roofs in the stands, the fact that there was a transparent roof over the arena... The fact that they hadn't seen the sun and yet the entire planet still felt lively and busy. And, of course, if there was an alicorn princess, then it would make sense that she could control the local celestial bodies. And since they hadn't seen a moon...

"You're going to drive us CRAZY?!!" Twilight shouted the question as if she was about to be affected by a sun that would turn her into a violent psychopath. That is to say, understandably rather loudly.

"YOU'RE NOT HELPING," Pinkie shouted to seemingly nothing.

"Do not worry," said Sontar Prime, "the effect will only last for as long as you are under its light. That way, we get a REAL show without psychologically damaging our hopeful allies. A sun that can drive our potential allies to willingly join combat is the very reason I chose this planet to call home, and begin the proud race of GLORIOUS SONTAR!"

The chant that followed bellowed with a thousand voices.

"SONTAR-HA! SONTAR-HA!"

"Don't join in with the chanting, Gummy," scolded Pinkie.

It was then that the princess of Sontar's horn began to glow a dark, blood-like red. Above them, a sun that was the exact same shade of red slowly shifted into view, covering the battleground in a light of a matching color. A small opening appeared in the part of the shielding directly in front of Sontar Prime, where she proceeded to throw weapons into the main stage. All seemed to be of the melee variety. There were axes, flails, shovels, swords, and metal baseball bats, among other things. Soon, the entire arena was covered in the menacing red glow... Including the two combatants.

Sontar Prime spread her wings. "LET THE BATTLE COMMENCE!"

Pinkie was panicking internally a bit. She wondered when the sun would start taking effect on her. Now? No. Now? No. Now? Gee, those axes look fun! Ah, there it was.

Twilight was visibly panicked. She tried analyzing her thought patterns to discern when exactly she would be craving to get all violent and fight Pinkie in glorious combat. Wait, "glorious"?

Pinkie felt the urge to battle an alicorn today, and realllllly rough her up! And she was starting to not care if it were Sontar Prime or Twili- NO! She had to focus. Or not focus. Or... Something not relating to beating up her friend! Parties. Parties after a well-fought battle! No. Cake! Red velvet, as red as the blood of what few enemies she had left. No. Gummy? She was mad that Gummy had betrayed her. She felt that, when they all got home she should smash Gummy against the wall a few times to teach him a less- Wait, no! She would never do that to Gummy! Gummy was just a frail little toothless alligator, unlike Twilight, who could be set on fire and come out only mildly annoyed.

... Wait, just how durable were alicorns anyhow?

Twilight had to think. How was the sun able to do that? It couldn't be strong enough to overpower the magic of friendship, right? Pinkie would understand, of course, that if she were to succumb to it and that she wouldn't be willingly doing it any other time, so maybe the magic of friendship wouldn't even apply? And what if Pinkie was affected too? Sure, she was hundreds of, if not over a thousand, years old, but that didn't mean that she was immune! So Twilight had to at least practice self-defense, if nothing else. After all, she didn't know what Pinkie was capable of! She was a species from another planet, from another universe! She could have acidic blood, for all Twilight knew!

... Actually, what color was Pinkie's blood, anyways?

Pinkie knew that alicorns were immortal, yeah, but they could still get hurt, feel pain, be knocked unconscious, yada yada yada. So, how much could Twilight take? She was a younger alicorn, but the red sun might increase her endur- THE RED SUN! Right, so if the sun was going to make Twilight violent, Pinkie would have to defend herself, right? Pinkie was effected too, but she could still be killed, and if Twilight completely lost herself, Pinkie would have to at least fight back juuuuust a smidgen. And, being immortal, Twilight could take more than Pinkie could, certainly, so Twilight could take even a massive, painful, FUN amount of violent retaliation. Pinkie did notice that Twilight's eyes had started to glow a familiar shade of red...

Twilight was starting to grow curious. They were likely going to end up fighting each other, right? It was like a violent version of the prisoner's dilemma, except both participants were being magically goaded. If she had to guess, Pinkie was going through a similar thought process, and would likely come to a similar conclusion. Just as well, she had grown curious about Time Lord physiology. Two hearts couldn't be the only biological difference, but even that on its own raised a great many questions. Did Pinkie have red blood? Or would it be some alien color like blue? With two hearts pumping at a rate equivalent to the average mare, would the blood spill faster? Why did that sound so... Fascinating? Was that the right word? And why did Pinkie's eyes turn red?

Pinkie had to focus, because for as much fun as their fight was going to be, she didn't want to seriously damage her friend, immortal or not. Although, for some reason she was beginning to like thoughts of her and Twilight fighting, reaching for different weapons, dodging each other's projectiles, battling for dominance... Huh. That was a word that didn't cross her mind often, but Pinkie at this point stopped caring about that. She just had to think of how to balance not hurting Twilight too badly while still making sure the Sontarans would find it entertaining enough to be satisfied with it... And, if she was being honest, she was going to enjoy the thrill of the whole affair herself...

Twilight meant, when else was she gonna be able to see Pinkie's blood? Sure, when they got home, she could just ask pinkie if she was willing to give a blood sample, but she wasn't feeling particularly patient today. Aside from that, the Sontarans did want a show, and she felt more than happy to provide. The rush of adrenaline that would go through them both sounded almost as exciting as a good book, but not quite. This would be a great educational and scientific opportunity regardless. Pinkie did have a significantly different thought process than a Gaian pony by her own admission, and it would be interesting to see how a Time Lord would react when forced into a fighting position, and what their reaction would be when combat was initiated.

Fun, fun, fun. Why did combat, even bloody, violent combat sound fun? It was as if Pinkie's very concept of it had been altered by that red sun... But really, did it even matter at this point? She was already so heavily affected by the glow that she likely wasn't going to be able to tell what were her actual thoughts and what was an effect of the sunshine. And if the centuries old Time Lord was hit this badly, the mare who once went insane because she couldn't find problems to write a letter about was probably much further along... Though a part of her, for some reason, didn't mind being bested by Twilight.

Alluring! That was the word! Alluring! Twilight found the idea of fighting her friend in hoof-to-hoof combat alluring! Not to the point where she would seriously cripple her friend, of course, but enough to rough her up a bit. Actually, why did she find it alluring? She usually associated that word with romantic or sexual contexts. Had the sun really altered her mind to that point already? And why did she feel the same way about Pinkie herself? Unless... Nah, that was her mind being affected by the sun's radiation, right? Right..?

Pinkie still wanted there to be a great, planet-shattering battle, and she wanted to give it her all, so why did she want Twilight to win? The very thought of being bested, of an axe being put up to her throat as she was forced to surrender... Even the idea of Twilight beating her senseless all seemed like... Fun? Was that the word? Probably. Pinkie felt like she didn't want to delve too much into it, so why not start the battle now so she wouldn't have to? Yeah, why wait on starting the FUN?!?

OK, so why was her mind being manipulated to find Pinkie... Attractive? Or was it the idea of completely dominating Pinkie that appealed to her? Or was it both? Why would the sun's rays effect her feelings towards her fri- Oh, good, Pinkie was reaching for the weapons. Twilight really didn't want to think about all that, not right now, anyways. Alright, well, with that out of the way, she had some experiments to do. She had a battle to win.

Pinkie managed to grab an axe just in time, as Twilight used her magic to grab an identical one. Pinkie rushed towards her friend, result a floating axe swooshing past her to protect its controller. The two axes clashed against each other, metal on metal, a slight spark igniting from the blades... And the two mares themselves.

The roars and cheers of the crowd further egged them on, as the battle grew more and more grandiose. And for once, the two mares were starting to see why Sontar Prime so enjoyed that beautiful noise...

SONTAR-HA! SONTAR-HA! SONTAR-HA! SONTAR-HA!

Chapter 6: The Masochism Tango

"I ache, for the touch of your lips, dear
But much more for the touch of your whips, dear
You can raise welts, like nobody else
As we dance to the masochism tango"

The Doctor's mind buzzed with questions.

Where did the music come from, to start? There didn't seem to be any speakers or the like, and it sounded like an entire orchestra was sharing the room with him. Was this simply more "magic"? Was he being effected by it? He found himself unable to break from the rhythm of the tune. Each clash of the rivals' swords seemingly replaced the percussion of the invisible orchestra. The Doctor deliberately tried to go off-beat, and found himself completely unable. Each time he did resulted in the Master gaining an advantage. He certainly hoped other foes in the future didn't break into song, "heartsong" or not.

And, of course, the Master chose this song, of all songs. Why this one? Yes, Tom Lehrer was a good friend to the Doctor, the Doctor had met him back when the man invented the jello shot, and he was a great satiric musician, but of all his songs, why this one? The Master did say that it had to come from a place of passion. Surely, he wasn't implying..? No, it was simply because of the tango beat combined with the physical injuries invoked by the lyrics. It was simply a commentary on how each of their battles was like a sick, violent tango. Otherwise, he'd choose a more romantically inclined song.

At least, the Doctor certainly hoped that was the case.

In any case, he knew the primary purpose of the tune was to keep him occupied, and he hated that it was working. The Doctor could almost feel a pull, keeping him in the duel for as long as the song kept going and preventing him from helping his new friends. Was that part of the magic? Not that he would leave regardless, considering the danger the Master posed to... Well, everyone, if not everything.

"Let our love be a flame, not an ember
Say it's me that you want to dismember
Blacken my eye, set fire to my tie
As we dance to the masochism tango"

The Doctor was exactly where the Master wanted him, and the Doctor wasn't sure what he could do about it.

This. Was. AWESOME!

Rainbow was fighting through a bunch of literally faceless monsters, and they didn't have things like sentience to give her any guilt about it. She was kicking flank, dodging laser fire, and keeping the attention of the Autons attacking her friends. Learning that Luna was taking care of the hostage situation was a great burden off her back, because it meant she didn't have to listen to any more villain talk and could jump into the action. She flew around their fashionable invaders like they were just another obstacle course, dodging and weaving, tricking them into shooting each other.

Rainbow was on top of the world.

Rainbow gave a smug grin in the direction of a small group of the invaders. "I wish you morons had faces, so I could see the stupid looks on them when I do this."

"This" entailed surrounding the group of four dummies with a rainbow trail, creating a small tornado and causing them to fall apart into literal pieces. The plastic limbs scattered around the room, hitting other mannequins with the semi-living debris, the weapons affixed to their forelegs thankfully dismantled in the process. The tornado quickly dissipated as soon as Rainbow stopped to admire her work.

"Ha! Take that you literal dummies! You can't withstand the might of Rainbow Da-"

She saw the laser flying next to her head from behind. Rainbow looked in that direction to see Applejack lassoing the foreleg of the Auton that had apparently fired it. Rainbow didn't know exactly what happened when a laser hit a pony, but she had a feeling it involved something akin to "not being alive any more." As far as she was concerned, AJ just saved her life.

"Thanks, AJ! I owe ya one!"

Applejack replied with a mouthful of rope. "Wrrn't nnthin' hugarcuve, 'ust ve carefll."

"Uh, will do," Rainbow replied, having no idea what Applejack said. She quickly went back to the fight, aiming to trounce another Auton. She stopped, however, when a blast of white light hit her target. She looked to the direction the blast of magic had came from, seeing Rarity finally awake and joining the fight. She nodded at the pegasus, who nodded back in turn.

Rainbow looked past the unicorn to see Princess Celestia, using her wings to shield her now-injured guard, a still-unconscious Starlight, and a cowering Fluttershy. Despite the adrenaline of the fight, Rainbow was starting to get worried about Starlight in particular. Celestia could brave through anything, the guard seemed ready to go into the fight at any moment, and Fluttershy was likely having a panic attack right now rather than being injured, but Starlight? She had been knocked out ever since she cast a spell on that Master guy (there had to be another name she could call that jerk).

What the hay did she cast, anyhow?

"You caught my nose
In your left castanet, love
I can feel the pain yet, love
Every time I hear drums..."

The Master nearly growled that last word, for whatever reason.

The rivals were back on equal... Well, not footing, but neither had an advantage, regardless. The Doctor had gotten a little used to the strange sensation of the "heartsong." It was almost as if the laws of reality shifted in order to accommodate the song number, allowing for the song to complete itself. He wondered if that meant the Master couldn't do any serious damage to him, or if things could only turn sour in the song's climax or near its end. For now, he would just have to endure, waiting for an opportunity to strike.

"And I envy the rose
That you held in your teeth, love
With the thorns underneath, love
Sticking into your gums"

Why did the Doctor fixate on the word "rose"? The flower never had a significance in his life as far as he knew. Maybe it's something that would happen later or, as his sensitivity to time made him think was more likely, something that would have happened later that now wouldn't. A pity, he supposed, that he missed out on what could have been. Or could be. Time travel and interdimensional travel could be confusing at times.

Speaking of what could have been... His thoughts drifted back to Jamie and Zoe. Those were his best friends of his last regeneration, admittedly a bit more than friends in Jamie's case, and now... They didn't remember him. Well, there was still a chance that the Time Lords didn't know human anatomy enough to be able to extract their memories properly, but that didn't seem too likely, all things considered. As the Doctor saw it, every adventure they had ever had together, from stopping the Cybermen on numerous occasions to traversing through the land of fiction, was most likely wiped from their memories, leaving the Doctor the loneliest he had ever felt. When he had left Susan behind he could at least say she remembered him. And one day he would come back. Yes, he would come back. He wasn't sure if he could ever do the same for two of his best friends.

None of that mattered at the moment, seeing how he was fighting for his life, but the wound was too fresh to not acknowledge. Besides, he could think between strikes of his sword, and he thanked Rassilon for the quick thinking skills his years at the academy gave him. Unfortunately, his combatant could think just as quickly, and was far more prepared than he was for reality to be dictated by a song and dance number. The Doctor was glad he never had to deal with singing enemies in his own universe, or the far past or... Whatever the truth of the matter was.

He hoped the song would be over soon.

Lasers, magic, lassos, spears and rainbow trails flew throughout the throne room. The room was flooded with Autons, with each mare still fighting dodging whatever came their way. The shots fired by the plastic enemy were missing, true, but the gap between their targets and their misses were getting closer and closer. Rainbow was making sure that the attention was on her, not to overshadow everypony else (this time), but to keep them from being blasted with weapons that did Celestia-knows-what.

Well, Celestia might literally know what, seeing she was also in the room, but whatever.

Rainbow looked back at the princess. The guard was being held back by Celestia's magic so they wouldn't charge into the fight, and Starlight was still out cold, but Fluttershy was talking to Celestia about something. Soon enough, Fluttershy left the room, going deeper into the castle with a determined look on her face. Rainbow didn't want to leave the battle, but she knew somepony should go with Fluttershy just in case, and she knew just the pony for the job.

"Hey AJ, Fluttershy's heading out! Can you make sure she's safe?"

Applejack dropped the rope out of her mouth, having lassoed up five mannequins for Rainbow to dismantle. "Sure thing, sugarcube!" Rainbow made quick work of the plastic soldiers, then AJ got her rope back and was on her way.

"You stay safe too, AJ!"

"I'll make sure of it, Dashie!"

With that, the cowgirl ran after her timid friend, and Rainbow flew over to the princess to ask a question... While still fighting for everypony's sake, taking out a few of the mooks firing at Celestia, still protecting the guard and Starlight.

"Princess Celestia, do you know where Fluttershy is going?"

Celestia nodded. "The consciousness controlling these monsters is being kept in one of our ballrooms. Fluttershy said she can handle it, and although I can't imagine how, I have faith in the friends of my favorite student. She did ask a... Rather odd question."

Rainbow bucked one of the Autons so hard its head went flying. "What question?"

"She asked if the thing had eyes, and I guess it does based on what the Master showed me, but I don't see what she could be planning."

Rainbow would have dwelled on it further, but a few more blasts in her direction shifted her priorities. "I hope Flutters knows what she's doing," Rainbow muttered to herself.

"Take your cigarette from its holder
And burn your initials on my shoulder..."

The Doctor was beginning to lose his metaphorical footing. On the bright side, it sounded like the song was coming to a close. He would admit, at least, that the song was nice, but it did give the Master a clear advantage, albeit mostly in the form of preparation.

"Fracture my spine, and say that you're mine..."

The Master managed to slash the Doctor's rapier out of his magic.

"As we dance to the maso..."

The tip of the Master's own sword was now at the Doctor's throat

"...Chism tango!"

Suddenly, as soon as the disembodied music stopped, the Master dropped the sword and writhed in pain, grasping at his skull. He quickly picked up a small cylindrical device from his pocket, and with a bright, white light, he disappeared.

After a few moments of silence, the Doctor began explaining what just happened to himself, for lack of anyone else to explain to. "That appeared to be teleportation. Whatever caused him to be in pain caused him to resort to his backup plan. But he had me. Or thought he had me, anyhow. Bruising his ego would have given me enough time to get the upper hand again. Well, upper hoof. Semantics, I suppose. Still, as far as he knew, I was right where he wanted me. So why would he run away like that? I don't believe anyone had the opportunity to-"

The Doctor stopped for a moment, and considered the possibility. "Ah, Starlight. I hope whatever 'spell' you used isn't causing him too much damage." With that, he rushed up to where the Autons took him earlier, hoping he wasn't too late to join the fight.

Starlight woke up.

Well, not really. In the real world she was still out cold in the castle, but she was at least where she intended to be. She wasn't in a physical location, but rather a mental one. The supposed Lord of Time, one of many if the Doctor was to be believed, had proven to be a rather difficult mind to break into. It probably would have been a shorter amount of time if not for the fact that Starlight could almost swear she sensed a heartsong had just taken place. Nevertheless, here she was, likely causing the villainous "Master" to pass out.

The first thing she noticed were the drums.

It rang out in a perfect rhythm, and it didn't appear to cease for anything. It immaculately thumped out throughout the mind of the alien minotaur, a constant loop of goading war drums.

The second thing she noticed was the strange room she was was in, a throne room with a deep, dark red color scheme, the color of blood, with golden accents, seemingly made of real gold. The windows revealed a sky the same color of red.

Then, of course, she noticed the very strange creature.

It was dressed like the Master, right down to the beard and haircut, except it had no horns, its shoulders were only slightly more broad than its torso, and in place of fur there was merely exposed skin that reminded Starlight of milk chocolate. Instead of hooves on its legs, the creature had oddly shaped shoes, presumably where its "feet" were. Ultimately it looked like a strange combination between a minotaur and a monkey,

Starlight guessed that this was what a Time Lord looked like in their home dimension, as well as what Gallifreyans like the Doctor looked like. Come to think of it, it also seemed like how Twilight had described a "human" to her. Whatever it was, it sat on a throne designed for a bipedal creature, intensely ornate and crafted with care. It also wore a dark scowl. Starlight shouldn't have been able to tell so easily, this being a species she knew nothing about, but something about that look... It couldn't be mistaken for anything else.

The creature, most likely the Master, bellowed. "Who are you? What are you doing in my own mind?" It was only slightly louder than the drums.

"Well," Starlight said, "I can see you're mentally strong. Most creatures, especially non-magical ones, would take a little bit to figure out where we are. As for your questions, my name is Starlight Glimmer, and the reason is... Well, to be really honest, I wanted to incapacitate you in a way that would give everypony a break from your lousy monologuing. Plus, I've been looking for an excuse to try out the Magical Mindscape Manifestation spell for a while now."

"I can assure you, I am quite good at my 'monologuing'. Now, give me one good reason why I shouldn't flood your mind with the information I have."

Starlight raised an eyebrow. "How the hey is making me learn things a threat?"

The Master chuckled. "Perhaps then, a demonstration is in order."

All of a sudden, Starlight knew everything about the Master's tissue compression device. How it worked, who he had used it on, where he got it, how to make one herself... All of that information at once gave Starlight a headache, and some heartache for the poor souls who became nothing more than figurines in the Master's wake...

"And that's only a taste of what I know," the Master said, casually. "I have hundreds of years worth of information at my disposal, and that is one simple object. Now, why shouldn't I give you more? Maybe all I know at once? Make your tiny equine head explode?"

Starlight reoriented herself, then pondered on what to say next. "The drums."

The Master raised an eyebrow. "What about them?"

"Why do you have these drums playing constantly?"

The Master sighed. "Well, it wasn't exactly my choice. See, the Time Lords have this... Initiation ritual from when you join. I was only eight at the time."

"Eight?"

"Yes, well, it's traditional, when you are first taken into the Academy of Time, to look into the Untempered Schism. The Schism allows one to look into the vortex of time itself. It's been known to drive some mad, and I suppose I would be among that list of poor souls. That was when the drumming started, I'm certain of it. And through the years it grew louder and louder, goading me into madness. But now, here I stand, victorious."

Starlight put her head low. "I'm sorry..."

"Oh hush now, I don't need your sympathy."

Starlight looked up again, her eyes watering slightly. "Did you have any friends?"

The room would have been silent if not for the constant war drums.

Starlight elaborated. "When I was a filly, I had a friend named Starburst. He... Moved away, to attend a school in Canterlot. And I was alone, and it destroyed me. I... I did awful things."

"Oh, please," the Master said. "What would you know abou-"

Abruptly, the Master suddenly knew what Starlight had done. How she brainwashed and subjugated an entire village. How she shattered time itself. How she had been working to reform herself now.

The Master was taken aback. "Wh- This is my mind! How did you possibly-"

"Let's not get away from the point," Starlight interrupted. "The point is I've done my fair share of horrible things. Not as many as you have, I'm sure, but I know the horror I've caused. And I know why I did it. I didn't have any friends, and abandoned the concept altogether, and I grew worse and worse because I never listened to anypony else."

The Master merely laughed that same awful laugh. "I'll admit, I underestimated you. You and your kind as a whole, might I add. It's so rare that I meet something even as close to resembling an equal like yourself, and rarer still I think of letting them li-"

"You're stalling."

The Master blinked. "How do you mean?"

"Alright, I'll ask again. Did you have any friends?"

The Master paused. "I... Yes, for a time. When I was young, the Doctor and I were the best of friends. We went into the Time Lord academy together, but after we both looked into the Schism we... Drifted apart. Now we are the greatest of adversaries, true equals."

"Wait," Starlight said, confused. "The Doctor went to a Time Lord academy?"

"... He's a Time Lord. They don't just hand out those titles, you know."

It was Starlight's turn to have the drums be the only sound present. Soon enough, though, she spoke again. "The Doctor never said he was a Time Lord. He said he was a Gallifreyan, and that Time Lords were awful monsters."

Drums permeated the Master's mind again. "Time Lords are Gallifreyan," the Master said, breaking the quasi-silence with an uncharacteristically worried tone, "as they come from Gallifrey. One has to earn the right to become a Time lord, in order to travel through time and become near-immortal. Being a Time Lord means so much for... Well, most people who join the academy. Even I still stand by that title, despite my grievances with the government, and the Doctor had even more grievances. What did those dullards do to him to abandon such a grand title? What could possibly have been so horrific that he would abandon it?"

Starlight grimaced. "Aside from destroying his 'TARDIS,' I have no idea. I'll help him with whatever it is, I promise. I know you won't admit it, but you care about him. A lot. And you feel you can't be friends, so you might as well be his greatest enemy. I get that, I think... I felt the same way, for a time. And while it might be too late to save your friendship with the Doctor, you can still try and make new ones. Hay, I'm willing to be your friend!"

The Master pondered this for a moment. "I can't say I'll take up that opportunity, but you have done something absolutely grand by even so far as making me seriously consider it. That being said, how do I know this isn't some kind of trick, hm? How do I know this isn't some ploy of your own? Your memories have shown me you can be quite cunning."

Starlight closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and reopened them with a determined look. "The Doctor tells me you can think fast. Really fast. Most Gallifreyans can, according to him."

The Master nodded, intrigued with where this was going. "That is true, and training at the Academy makes it even more powerful than that."

"So i want to know how fast. This drum beat, for example." She raised a hoof towards the ceiling. "Let's say this same rhythm was happening at the same rate in my mind as it's going in yours. How long before my brain explodes or something like that?"

The Master put his finger to his chin. "Oh, I'd say about... 2 Minutes, at most, one at the least."

"Good," Starlight said, her horn aglow. "I won't need that long."

The Master awoke on his TARDIS's floor, a minotaur once again. He grunted his way up to the console, wondering what to do about this mind-invader, "Starlight Glimmer". He was certainly impressed by her abilities, and she seemed genuine enough in her effort to help. So what could he do to prevent another trip into his mind? Maybe just the threat of melting her brains with his knowledge would be enough to prevent it. He tapped his fingers on the console...

...And was startled to find there wasn't any sort of rhythm to it.

It was then he realized that, for the first time in centuries, his head felt... Oddly quiet. Like he could think more clearly. The psychological damage had been done, sure, but no further would the drums haunt him. Starlight must have done something to him. Then he remembered Starlight's question. It was then a feeling crept over him, a feeling he rarely, if ever, felt for others...

Concern.

Starlight woke up screaming.

A startled Celestia let her wings flare out in reflex, just enough for Starlight to cast a spell directly into a crowd of Autons which had Rarity and Rainbow at the center, surrounded. Manifesting right in front of everyponies' eyes were a single drum and a pair of drumsticks. The newly manifested instrument began drumming itself incessantly, echoing through the room, causing everything within to falter. The Ponies grasped at their ears, while the autons scrambled around aimlessly. Even the Doctor, who had just entered the room, seemed to be in incredible pain. Only Celestia was able to resist enough to do something, and she sent a magical spell towards the cursed instrument, wiping it from existence.

The ponies, unfortunately, took longer than the Autons to recover. The plastic fiends managed to take aim at Rainbow, Rarity, and the Doctor, almost ready to fire...

And just stood there.

They lowered their weapons, getting down on all fours, and trotted as fast as they could towards a doorway. More Autons came in through the throne room entrance, and went in that same direction.

The Doctor took advantage at their enemy's sudden change of plans to catch up with his friends. "Rainbow, Rarity, there you are! Are you both alright?"

"Yes, Darling," Rarity replied, "or at least I am. You, Rainbow?"

"Yeah yeah, I'm fine," Rainbow said dismissively. "What the hay was that?"

The Doctor shook his head. "I haven't the foggiest, I'm afraid. Is Starlight alright?"

Starlight weakly trotted up to where the Doctor was. "I'm fine, just... Had to help a friend."

The Doctor nodded. "Where's everyone else?"

"Well, Celestia and that guard is right over there," Rainbow said. "Fluttershy and Applejack are-" She paused, and suddenly had a nervous expression on her face. "EXACTLY WHERE THE AUTON THINGS ARE GOING!"

"Then we must act quickly," the Doctor said. "Starlight, you stay and rest with... The princess, and once this is all over I have some questions to ask you. Princess, keep her safe."

"Wouldn't dream of doing anything else," Celestia replied.

The trio of ponies hurried and joined the stampede of equine dummies, only to find that the foes had made a clearing for them. Rainbow flew above the other two.

"I don't like how chummy they're getting all of a sudden," Rainbow said. "Could be a trick."

The Doctor nodded. "Good, it means they're getting desperate." Rainbow snickered at that.

When they got to their destination, they were in the upper level of an extravagantly large room. It used to be a ballroom, as Celestia said, but now it was repurposed into being the homebase for the Nestine Consciousness itself. The monster was a red and orange mass of goop, constantly shifting and moving in a rectangular hole dug into into the floor. It appeared to have a... Face, of some sort, emerging out of it, morphing just as often as the rest of it. It was strange, it was gross, it was horrific...

And Fluttershy was staring directly at it.

The Autons, for their part, were mindlessly running towards their controller, ensuring they dodged out of the way of Fluttershy and any other ponies present, jumping into and melting into the mass itself. Applejack was standing next to the timid pegasus, a smug and proud look upon her face directed towards the room's new occupants.

Rarity screamed at the sight. "THEY'RE DESTROYING THE BEAUTIFUL OUTFITS THEY'RE WEARING! Somepony probably spent hours designing those! The horror! THE HORROR!" Rarity wept into one of her forelegs as Rainbow patted her on the shoulder. The Doctor looked over to Rainbow, clearly confused.

"Yeah," Rainbow sighed. "You get used to that. Eventually..."

Applejack made her way to the group, at a confidently casual pace despite the herd of mannequins. "Howdy, y'all! Flutters is usin' her stare ta wrassle up are blank faced friends. As far as she's concerned, this 'Nestin' Consciousness' is just another critter, and I think we all know how good she is with those. As far as I reckon, I think she hit the nail on the noggin!"

"Well done, Fluttershy," shouted the Doctor towards her as Rarity and Rainbow cheered, though Rarity's eyes were still watering. If Fluttershy heard it, though, she didn't acknowledge it. She was far too busy focusing on the alien hive mind to let herself get distracted.

After a while, the number of Autons had dropped significantly. A while longer, Starlight Glimmer, Princess Celestia, and the new arrival of Princess Luna followed what few members of the plastic herd remained into the former ballroom.

"The nobles are going to have a fit when they see this," whispered Luna to herself.

Soon enough, there were only two Autons left. Both stood next to Fluttershy, tearing off their own weaponized forehooves and throwing them into goop that gave them life while Fluttershy addressed the Nestine with a soft, motherly tone. "Now, we're going to learn to play nice, aren't we? I always have a home for you in Ponyville."

The living sludge sunk back. "Yesssssss," said the flank of one of the Autons, "jusssssst pleassssse never ssstare at usssssss like that again... It makessssss usssssss feel an emotion we've never known..."

"Only if you don't cause any more trouble."

"Yesssssss ma'am..."

"Awww, you don't to be so formal! Call me Fluttershy."

"Yessssss Misssssss Fluttershhhhy..."

Cheering erupted from all ponies, save one Gallifreyan.

"Are you sure we can trust the Nestine to keep its word?"

Celestia looked straight at the Doctor with a warm smile. "Fluttershy has tamed far worse without the use of her stare, so I say that we can."

"If you say so. Princess Celestia, I presume?"

"You would be correct. And you must be the Doctor the Master was talking about."

"As a matter of fact I am, one could even say the definite article. By the by, is there any chance I can view you and your sister raising the sun and moon? I have a hard time believing it myself, considering where I'm from."

Celestia chuckled. "Of course, Doctor."

The Doctor looked over to the darker blue alicorn. "And you must be Princess Luna, correct?"

Luna nodded. "Indeed, dear Doctor! It is good to... Meet a new face!" Her smile got slightly more nervous-looking. She turned to her sister, her expression turning more dour. "Dear sister, I do have some unfortunate news. For the first time since Princess Cadance's wedding... We've had casualties." Gasps were heard around the room. "The good news is that none of them were from civilians, but we have lost nearly two dozen fine guards."

Celestia nodded solemnly. "I'll be sure to inform their families about the matter, though I'm not sure what to tell them concerning the state of the bodies, and just telling them we cremated their bodies without their consent seems... Wrong. I do think we are fortunate, however, that the number is not much higher. If the Master wasn't trying to get to the Doctor, I fear there would have been far more. Although, with that out of the way, where are Twilight, Spike and Pinkie?"

Starlight was the one to answer. "They're still in Ponyville. The Cutie Map didn't call them to Canterlot, just us. Who knows what they're doing?"

As if on cue, there was a loud crash coming from the throne room. Everyone quickly ran to the source. When the group entered the throne room, they saw three figures standing in front of a cardboard box. A purple alicorn, a pink earth mare, and... Was that pony also a potato?

Confetti appeared from nowhere. "Surprise!"

Chapter 7: Red Sun Over Paradise

On the small planet of Sontar, the fight of the century was taking place.

A Temporal Royal and an alicorn were taking part in the sparring match that took place whenever diplomats from another planet came by. Cheering was abundant as various weapons clashed, lasers fired, and confetti flew from the arena. The fact that confetti was involved confused the audience, but they were excited nonetheless.

The spectacle was immaculately violent. The alicorn would fly around the dome, blasting a blasts of pure magic from her horn, while the Temporal Royal would dodge them with ease, going faster than the blink of an eye. At some point the alicorn had decided getting up close and personal with her fellow diplomat would yield better results, and she used her Earth Pony strength to strike her opponent. The Temporal Royal, meanwhile, was seemingly conjuring various items from thin air. At one point an entire cannon was conjured by the pink fiend, though it only fired out the aforementioned confetti. That was enough in order to blind the alicorn momentarily, letting the Temporal Royal get a few quick hoofstrikes in before running once more.

The weapons provided, while used initially, were soon discarded, with each combatant preferring their own method of battle. However, at some point, the alicorn managed to cast a spell that caused the weapons to seemingly come alive while she kept blasting magic at her companion. The Time lord dismantled each one using nothing but party supplies that came from seemingly nowhere. Chainsaws became jammed by noisemakers, blunt weapons were held inside balloons, and she somehow managed to take down 5 swords with nothing but a single used-up party popper. Everyone in the room was extremely impressed, seemingly including the alicorn.

The roars of the crowd just grew louder and louder with each spell cast, each streamer thrown, each time the alicorn flew by their seat, and each time the Temporal Royal ran by their seats (which was especially impressive when she ran in front of the topmost seats directly on the protective shield). The battle raged on with both diplomats giving it everything they had.

And yet, no blood was spilt.

That would change soon, as the two ponies wore each other down. Soon, they would look at each other with determination. The purple alicorn stared with a cold gaze, seemingly calculating every move the pink one could possibly make. The pink Temporal Royal gave a wide smile, akin to a predator baring its fangs at its prey, except the joy portrayed seemed playful rather than hungry. The two then came at one another with their bare hooves, fighting, thrashing, hoofing each other in the face, placing bucked hindlegs in their sides, and overall savagely brawling.

Eventually, the purple one stopped dead in her tracks, allowing both mares to catch their breath. The pink one was bleeding from her nose, her smile having waned in favor of exhaustion lying on the ground. This was the moment of truth. The blood was bled, but would the battle be over? Or would the fight continue? The alicorn answered this question soon enough, seizing the opportunity to go down to the level of the Temporal Royal...

And kissed her straight on the lips.

As the two embraced each other, cheers erupted. There were a good number of reasons as to why. For one thing, it meant that they had resisted the temptation to fight to the death, as that meant the glorious empire of Sontar would soon have both of these extremely powerful beings as allies for as long as their lifespans would allow, potentially forever in the alicorn's case. Another, finding passion such as this on the battlefield was quite uplifting, even for a species that didn't really have anything equivalent to romance. And most of all, they were glad the fight was over for one more... Immediately important reason.

The shields were starting to break.

Some time later, Pinkie and Twilight were invited to a ceremony to honor the battle. Although, of course, they had plenty of... Concerns about what just happened, it still felt like the best course of action to accept the offer, and in what universe would Pinkie let them turn down a party? They were both a bit flustered by the kiss, and exhausted from the huge fight, so maybe a celebration of any sort was in order.

The ceremony reminded Twilight of her coronation as princess, with various Sontarans on either side of a long walkway with Sontar Prime herself right at the end of it. As the mares went up to the local princess, they felt the majesty exuded pride. It wasn't quite as awe-inspiring as whenever Princess Celestia did something similar, but it was fairly close. The clone army in attendance all had a rather... Intense smile about them, brows burrowed and seemingly waiting for another blood match, but Pinkie assured Twilight that was just how a Sontaran normally smiled when not taking pride in themselves.

"Congratulations, my little Gaians," Sontar Prime announced. "You have passed our trial! In your combat, you have not only put on a GLORIOUS performance, WORTHY OF SONTAR-"

SONTAR-HA! SONTAR-HA!

"-But you have also shown that you truly did come without a drive for power or influence, but rather true diplomacy. Otherwise, you would have likely killed one another in order to gain more influence within your own hierarchy. We would respect it, don't get us wrong, but we would much rather face a more blood-thirsty country akin to that on the battlefield. That is how our GLORIOUS, centuries-long, still-waging war was started with our most beloved of enemies, THE RUTANS!" She gestured towards a tapestry depicting a green jellyfish thing clashing its sword(?) with a Sontaran, resulting in a lot of jeering. Twilight was a bit unnerved by the fact that it felt more like they were booing an enemy hoofball team than a people they were waging war with, as if the deaths caused from centuries of war was no more important than that.

Nevertheless, Twilight felt glad that Equestria, or any nation on Gaia, for that matter, was not going to go on their likely-thousands-of-names-long list of "beloved enemies." She still had one, rather pressing, question. "Your highness, "she began, "may I ask a question?"

Sontar Prime nodded. "You may."

"When the red sun affected me and Pinkie... Why did we end up kissing each other?"

The Sontarans suddenly erupted in a myriad of snickers, all stifled with various levels of success. This included Sontar Prime herself, and she was decidedly in the "less than successful" category. "In truth," the royal Sontaran began after calming herself down, "we only allowed our glorious red sun shine upon you up to the point where you started going for the weapons. Much longer than that would have caused irreversible psychological damage, and that would not be good for relations with anyone if we did that to diplomats. We only raise the sun at all as to ensure that you are ready and willing to battle! After that, the adrenaline and the heat of the moment, as well as you not realizing the sun was no longer effecting you, would do the rest of the work.

"As for your question, the sun only affected you for a short while, but even if it did enough to scar you it wouldn't effect your base desires. If you were in love, for example-" She gave a smug grin upon the word love- "It would make you want to face your lover in glorious combat as a feat of pure passion. Of course, those feelings would carry over even after the red light had lifted, but how you reacted to those feelings was all dependent upon you. Therefore, when you embraced one another after the condition of spilling blood was met... Well, that came from within you."

The Equestrian and the Gallifreyan both blushed, their cheeks becoming a darker shade than the rest of their coat. "So," Pinkie said, in a rare occurrence of being nearly (emphasis on nearly) speechless, "when you have feelings of really really REALLY wanting a certain somepony to go put on their cleats and trample over you, that's the sun bringing out your feelings for them?"

Sontar Prime's eyes became a bit wider upon hearing that, and another round of snickering came from the crowd. "Well, normally it doesn't manifest in *that* way unless you're already into something like that, but yes."

And with that, for the first time in this generation since she was a filly, Pinkie was completely speechless as her cheeks went from dark pink to red.

She quickly changed the subject. "Okie-dokie-lokie then! We'll be sure to be on our way, as soon as I have my Party Box and my pet alligator back."

Gummy, for his part, was standing next to Sontar Prime, a small medal with the Sontaran cutie mark upon it hanging around his neck. He licked his eyeball.

Pinkie blinked. "Wait, what?"

Gummy blinked in turn.

"You're playing a prank, right?"

Gummy blinked again.

"But you can't stay on Sontar! I need to get home, and I'm not going without you!"

Another blink.

"Oh, don't you quote Coltaire at me, mister!"

Yet another blink.

"Unless what?"

"Unless," Sontar Prime said, interrupting the riveting one-sided conversation, "you bring with you an ambassador of our own for a much longer visit."

Gummy blinked again.

"Ohhhhhh," Pinkie said, squinting. "So you don't actually want to stay here, you just want somepony else to tagalong, right?"

Gummy licked his eye.

"... Alright, but only if Twilight agrees."

Twilight, who was confused along with everyone else on Sontar about the conversation aside from Sontar Prime and Pinkie, and Twilight had doubts about Sontar Prime, took a moment to respond. "Well, showing your kind Equestrian values of friendship does sound like a good idea, so I'm all for it."

Pinkie inhaled through her teeth, clearly worried about letting a Sontaran come to Equestria. "Alright then," she hesitated, "we guess we'll do it."

Cheering erupted from the crowd before Sontar Prime settled them down. "Very well, I shall send you with somepony whom I think you'll get along well with." Then, a Sontaran unicorn carrying a shovel walked up the aisle.

Sontar Prime just sighed. "Not you, Strax."

The dejected Sontaran sulked back into the crowd.

Sontar prime whispered to the two diplomats. "I know she's excited and that she's a fantastic nurse, but we want to make a good first impression, and she's rowdy and excitable even by our standards." Pinkie shuddered at the idea of a Sontaran that was too intense for the species that lived and breathed "intense."

"Now then, if Sothom could come up to meet her new guides to Gaia?"

A Sontaran earth mare with round glasses and a satchel, presumably Sothom, walked up to the pair of Equestrians. As she did so, a magic aura forceably gave her a shovel to carry. She looked in the direction of Strax, who simply waved with an un-Sontaran-like smile. The Sontaran diplomat just rolled their eyes, but seemingly accepted the gift anyways.

"Forgive her, your highness," Sothom said, bowing bowing towards the planet's ruler. "She is my closest... Comrade, I suppose is the term, and she wanted to give me a parting gift as a sign of good luck."

Sontar Prime merely nodded. "No apologies are necessary, Sothom. I'm fairly certain the Gaians will find that endearing, anyways."

Pinkie and Twilight both nodded, though Twilight was fairly certain if she nodded at the same pace as Pinkie she would break her neck.

Sontar Prime continued. "Sothom here is one of our war song writers, which allow for our most successful combats due to the comradery they inspire. We realize, with your kind's emphasis on your individuality, that your planet likely has many artists, likely to enhance your own weaponry!"

The two friends gave each other exasperated glances. "Sure," they said in unison.

"Ergo," Sontar Prime continued, undeterred, "an artist of our own would be a perfect fit! Plus, you'll be happy to know she is also the proud author of Sontar's thus far only published book, personal journals aside." The crowd responded with thunderous applause, although no chanting yet.

Sothom pulled out a book from her satchel. "It is a collection of the various compositions I and many, many other Sontarans have made in order to better serve the war effort through our energizing tunes, powering our weapons and bringing Sontaran-kind to even further glory!"

SONTAR-HA! SONTAR-HA!

Ah, there it was.

Twilight bowed before the planet's local princess. "We are honored that you are our first ally from beyond our own planet, and honored further that you have sent a representative of your own kind, and that you have the foresight to choose a diplomat that could relate to us. I know it's going to be a tough road for our cultures to get to know each other. Ours is a world of peace, while you all prefer war. But I believe that it will be worth it! One day, the Sontarans can learn to... Tolerate peace, and the Gaians can learn the ways of war." She decided to play up the strength the two planets had. "When we combine our strengths, we shall overcome our weaknesses, and become stronger in our unity! We shall be unstoppable, and we shall live in glory!"

SONTAR-HA! SONTAR-HA! SONTAR-HA! SONTAR-HA!

This was going far better than what happened with Yakyakistan.

With that out of the way, Pinkie decided to speak up, having noticed the Party Box being brought into the ceremony. "Well, thank you, everyone! Now, Twilight, Sothom, Gummy and I need to get going! Thank you for having us, please don't make us fight each other again, I left you some party supplies so you can have fun, thank you thank you THANK YOU!" With that, she grabbed the other three Gaia-bound souls, putting Gummy into her hair, and rushed into her TARDIS.

"By the Princess' beard," Sothom softly said once they were inside, visibly awe-struck. "The legends were true. It truly is bigger on the inside. You could fit a whole army in this one box. Think of the tactics we could use..."

And with the sound of a party blower, that familiar whirring sound ruminated throughout the ceremony room

Before they went to Gaia they made a stop in the dead of space, just to get themselves oriented... That, as well as Twilight and Pinkie having a lot to talk about.

"Alright, first order of business," Twilight began. "What do we do with Sothom?"

Pinkie pondered for a moment. "Well, right now she's in the combat training room next to the Ferris Wheel room, but as for what to do with her... I think having her be in Canterlot is the best call. Right near the royal guards and princesses if she causes any trouble, and it's a hubbub of Equestrian culture so she'll have an easier time talking with other diplomats from different countries. She'd probably get along with Prince Rutherford when he comes by."

Twilight nodded, not wanting to distract from the more personal questions she had. "So, Pinkie... About that kiss."

A deafening silence hung in the air before Twilight spoke again with a nervous grin.

"...Did you like it?"

Pinkie looked straight at Twilight, grasped her face, and went in for another kiss. The kiss was long and passionate, leaving a flustered Twilight flailing before she embraced the sensation and kissed back.

Pinkie had just one thing to say once their lips parted. "Does that answer your question?"

"Marry me."

"What?"

Pinkie gave Twilight a hug. "Calm down, silly filly! We only just had our first date!"

"First da-" Twilight facehoofed as they broke their embrace. "Oh, yeah. What a fantastic first date where we could have potentially killed each other."

Pinkie giggled, but soon after her expression seemed to get a bit more... Solemn. "I'm not sure if it would work out in the long run, though."

Twilight was taken aback by this. "Why not?"

Pinkie just sighed. "Lifespan differences."

Twilight's expression became more sorrowful as well. "Oh, yeah..."

"I mean," Pinkie continued, "I'm going to live for thousands and thousands of years, while you... You're just going to grow old and die over time in less than a hundred. It would be just a small drop of sand in the hourglass of my life. And what about when I regenerate? I'll be a completely different person! Well, not completely, but I'm going to have a whole new look and personality. So... It just wouldn't work between u-"

Twilight burst out laughing, tears in her eyes. Pinkie was confused. "What's so funny, Twily?"

Twilight calmed down, but she was still crying, though now these tears weren't of laughter. "Pinkie, I don't like to talk about this, but... I'm immortal now. All alicorns are. I could survive until the end of the universe, and maybe even beyond that if Discord can be trusted, though that isn't likely to be honest. I've been worried sick about losing all six of my best friends over time. But knowing you're going to live for thousands of years... That makes me feel so much better knowing at least one of my friends is going to live out a long life alongside me, whether it's as more than friends or not."

Now both mares were crying, but at the same time their smiles were both wide enough to fit a slice of watermelon into. They hugged each other once more weeping into each other's shoulders. "Twily," Pinkie choked out through her tears, "this is the best news I've ever heard. I love you so much!"

Twilight managed to speak through the tears without too much shakiness in her voice. "I love you too, Pinkie."

"I love you too."

"So when I was so worried about the future that I needed a time travel spell," Twilight asked, "you knew how to time travel the whole time?"

"Yeppareeno! Was still trying to keep it a secret at the time, buuuuuut I think you learned the big lesson better than if I used my Party Box."

Twilight laughed. "True enough, Pinkie. And you're sure your Pinkie Sense has nothing to do with being a Time Lord? It would make sense if your ability to detect time distortions was changed when you got here."

"Nope! Been there, done that! No tests I've done have proven anything, and this is TIME LORD tech we're talking about! You didn't have a chance of figuring it out! All the other weird things I do aren't related to it either. I thought my mane might have a TARDIS inside it, but nope! It's just really good at holding things."

Both laughed again as Sothom entered the room. "There you two are! I swear, this place needs a battle strategy so we can get around much easier."

The two long-living ponies glanced at each other before turning their gaze back to the Sontaran. "You mean a map," Twilight corrected.

"Well, yes, but also a strategy in case your 'Party Box' is invaded by an invading force like the Rutans! A map might actually be good in a battle strategy, actually. Maybe that's why I'm not a general. In any case, I did want to enquire when we were landing on your planet?"

Pinkie suddenly jolted up into the air. "I COMPLETELY FORGOT! Strap in everypony! This is gonna be a bumpy ride! Next stop, Canterlot!" Quickly, she grabbed the two other passengers and brought them to the control room. She quickly started meddling with controls, popping party poppers, and seriously what are those noisemakers you see at New Year's parties called?

"Ooh! You mean a ratchet?"

A rat- furious typing intensifies ... Huh. Thanks, Pinkie!

"No problemo, amigas!"

Sothom quickly turned to Twilight, trying to keep herself steady despite all of the rumbling. "Do you ever wonder if your friend has gone completely mad?"

Twilight just laughed. "Sothom, I am waaaaaaaaayyyyyyy past the point of wondering."

And with a crash, Pinkie gave a cheery "we're here!" Pinkie once again grabbed the two other mares, this time to toss them out of the Party Box.

"She doesn't do that often, does she," asked Sothom.

"Most of the time," Twilight answered, "no. Sometimes? Yeah."

They got up to their hooves right as Pinkie popped out of the box, landing on their hooves. It was then Pinkie noticed the Princesses, standing in a doorway staring with their jaws agape.

"Surprise!"

It was only after she said that that Pinkie noticed that the princesses weren't the only familiar faces present, something Twilight also picked up on.

"Girls," Twilight said, "what are you doing here?"

Both Pinkie and Twilight got caught in an avalanche of friendship, as the seven mares reunited, cheers and laughter abundant, while the princesses gave happy yet exhausted smiles at the whole affair. Sothom quickly took advantage os the situation, trotting up to the two royals.

"You two must be the princesses," she said. "My name is Sothom, and I am a proud ambassador of glorious Sontar! We have much to discuss in private."

Princess Celestia gave the warmest smile she could. "Well, this is a pleasant surprise! We have to call a meeting with our nobility anyways, so feel free to attend. For now, come walk with me and my sister. I'm more than happy to do something relaxing after the nightmare today's been."

"Indeed," came Princess Luna's proud voice. "We are looking forward to creating kinship with a new nation!"

Sothom chuckled as she followed the two Princesses. "I believe you shall find that Sontar is greater than just a mere 'nation,' and just as well, you'll find it has a long and proud history..." Her voice faded as the three disappeared deeper into the castle.

As the group had reunited, Pinkie left to have a reunion of her own, a long-awaited one for her. As Twilight caught the others up to speed, Pinkie went trotting right up to the Doctor... When she noticed something.

He seemed... Tense, as if ready to pounce at any moment. His gaze seemed unwavering... And unnerving. Worst of all, the gaze seemed directed at her, and she had no clue why.

"Hiya, Doc!" She greeted him with the same level of enthusiasm she normally would, anyways. After all, maybe he was just shaken up from being, you know, murdered. "I'm Pinkie Pie! We technically haven't met yet, buuuuuuu-"

"A Time Lord," said the Doctor with pure hatred in his voice. Silence hung in the air as Pinkie stopped mid-sentence. It was only then it hit Pinkie. The Doctor wasn't just murdered...

He was executed. Not only that, but she knew who did it.

"Uh oh."

Chapter 8: The Gallifreyan and the Time Lord

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Dear Celestia (Epilogue)

Dear Celestia

I am writing to you at the request of my new friend and your student Twilight Sparkle. Apparently this was something she used to do with you about once a week in order to share what she learned about friendship. I highly doubt I will be writing so frequently, but it may still be a useful exercise even if you never read this. Apparently the letter shall be delivered by her adopted child, Spike, who is apparently a dragon. I'm not sure how he shall deliver it, but I am told I will be quite fascinated by the results.

As a general summary of my stay thus far, I have been well. I've been working on my TARDIS, repairing it as I go along. I've been making better acquaintance with my new friends. I've taken a particular interest in knowing some of them. Starlight and Twilight, for example, are fine young mares who have been teaching me in the ways of what you call "magic," although I haven't made as much progress as I would hope. I suppose I shouldn't be too hasty, as it's a form of energy I haven't the faintest about, but I do think I'll come around to it eventually. For my part, I've been teaching them a bit about various technologies I've come across. I've always wanted to give technological knowledge to a species that hasn't yet discovered them, both as a way to improve and save lives as well as in order to "live dangerously," as they say. It's something that a group of elites on my home world forbid, which I always saw as oppressive. Granted, it was necessary when it came to time travel specifically, but for civilizations that existed during and after our time? It was truly just a way to hoard power. Just as well, if that fiend the Master and Ms. Pie are both to be believed, this is all well after our time.

Aside from them, I also quite like Miss Rarity. She's simply a delightful conversationalist and our personalities mesh quite well. Miss Fluttershy and myself are also surprisingly compatible, seeing how we can both communicate with animals. That being said, she has... Well, quite peculiar company.

The Doctor and Fluttershy were sitting, about to have some tea, alongside another friend of Fluttershy's she usually had tea with around this time.

"Oh, I'm sure you'll love him Mr. Doctor!" She poured each of them a glass of green tea imported straight from the Dragon Lands. "He can be a bit... Well, tricky to work with him at first, but he's really a sweetheart deep down."

The Doctor gave a light chuckle. "Miss Fluttershy, I do believe I can also be described like that. As long as he's not particularly disruptive, I'm sure we'll get along just fine."

Fluttershy suddenly seemed to tense up slightly. "Oh um, about that..."

It was then a chill ran through Fluttershy's cottage, as a deep, dark laugh permeated through the building. "Hello Doctor," it bellowed. "How many lives have you been through, how much have you changed in all your years..?"

The Doctor got up to his hooves and shouted at the mysterious voice. "I can assure you, I still have a myriad of lives left to give. I have only died twice thus far, so I sugg-"

"ONLY TWICE?!?"

The voice had suddenly gotten much higher pitched, and sounded slightly raspy. It was then a figure appeared. It seemed to be an amalgam of various different creatures. A goat, a snake, an eagle, a lion, and of course a pony were all a part of the figure's strange appearance. It looked annoyed.

"You know," it continued with a defiant huff, "when dearest Fluttershy told me I would be having tea with The Doctor... Well, no offense to you, but I thought it would be in one of your later forms. Your 10th would have been obvious, though with the War Doctor that would technically be the 11 or 12th. Oh wait! The Timeless Child thing would make that far more complica-"

"Excuse me," the Doctor interrupted, "but who are you, what are you, and why have you come here?"

"Oh, Mr. Doctor, it's-"

"Apologies for interrupting, my dear Fluttershy," the creature said, a paw appearing out of the ether to cover the named mare's muzzle, "but I believe I should speak for myself on this one." It cleared its throat, causing jellybeans with wings to fly out of its mouth, which in and of itself was a reference to an obscure opera in a universe you haven't even a chance of imagining. "Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Discord. I am the literal embodiment of chaos itself, and formerly of disharmony. And as for why I'm here, it's because I am the best friend of Fluttershy!"

The Doctor was incredulous once more, although this was likely going to become a daily occurrence. "What?"

Fluttershy nodded, removing the disembodied paw from her. "It's true Mr. Doctor. Discord is a very good friend of mine, and he is literally chaos itself."

The Doctor's mouth was somewhat agape. "Chaos itself?"

Discord rolled his eyes, getting a lucky roll of seven. "Oh please, Doctor. You've met my brother before, so is this really so hard to believe?"

"What do you mean I-" The Doctor stopped himself, looking down to the floor in thought for a moment. "On second thought, I suppose you're right."

"Um, Discord," Fluttershy spoke up again, "I didn't know you had a brother."

Discord nodded. "I'll tell you about him and my other siblings later. Let's just say you should be glad my sisters and I gave him his own little toy room to play in."

The Doctor sighed. "So may I inquire as to why you thought making yourself out to be a threat was the best course of introduction?"

"Ah, of course!" Discord chuckled. "Well, Doctor, future you has made quite the name for themself. I can't say I've met you before, but your reputation has reached throughout the multiverse, in both fiction and non-fiction. You're the boogey-man that Davros tells his Daleks so that they eat all their vegetables, the unresolved error the cybermen will never be able to solve, the man of peace who is willing to break war if need be. Few things are more dangerous than a peaceful man going to war, so I've heard. I have to say I'm a bit of a fan! You make great television in another universe. Though if I may ask a question of my own, how did you get to Equestria? Isn't this face of your's supposed to be exiled to Earth?"

The Doctor sighed. "Yes, but I believe something went wrong. I ended up here by mistake, to what that buffoon the Master says is past the end of time itself."

Discord chuckled again. "You know, time can't end if it doesn't exist. Time is more of a measurement than anything else. It's a bit like saying you went somewhere where length itself ends. Though I should look into that, just to see what's out there. But wait, if you're here, then who's at Unit?"

The Doctor just stared, blankly.

Discord facepalmed, using a human hand attached to a hovering piggy bank. "Of course you wouldn't know. Alternate realities are a thing, after all. I suppose I'll have to check to make sure things are going alright over there. Things are probably going to be fine, but if that universe ends early I never get to meet Fluttershy, and that would simply be awful! So I'm going to do something I don't like to do very often, time travel. Just an annoying trip is all, particularly since I might run into that old group I used to be a part of." He shuddered to think of those fateful eleven days that never truly existed.

"But that can wait," he concluded. "I literally have all the time in the world to do it! Tea?"

The Doctor squinted at the chaos entity.

I do believe that "Draconequus" has been a thorn in your side as well, albeit in a much worse way. There's also Miss Dash, who I was pleasantly surprised to have gotten along with. I'm teaching her the ways of Venusian Karate, although readjusted for an equine body as it was originally an art designed for creatures with four arms and two legs, although that didn't stop me since I only had two arms at the time I learned it. I'm sure four legs and a set of wings won't be too much of an obstacle. I don't interact with Miss Applejack quite as much, but I do appreciate her nature of being... I suppose the expression is "down to Gaea?" She is a very grounded person, in all regards.

The only one I am having true trouble with is Miss Pie. After I worked through the fact that she is a Time Lord... Well, she can simply be described as "overbearing." I can tell she's trying to gain my trust and friendship, but it's all a bit much. I'm sure the incarnation of me she met would be more than happy with making her acquaintance, but I am not quite that person. I also find it ridiculous just how willing she is at sharing the fact that she and I are from a different universe to you all. What's even more baffling is how easily this entire town just accepted it! When I inquired why that was, they all said something akin to "I was expecting something stranger from Pinkie." Considering how quickly she managed to repair the local bakery, I think I'm beginning to see why.

And as for assurance about the Master and others of his ilk... While I cannot guarantee he won't bother you again, and in fact I doubt it's much of a possibility, I can assure you the sluggish bore isn't quite so creative as to overcome me as of yet, and with the help of my new companions I doubt he ever will for as long as I'm on Gaea. And I can assure you, if he were to do anything within my vicinity, I would likely find out about it.

Starlight was walking through Ponyville late one night due to insomnia. It had been just a day after she met the Doctor, and her encounter with the Master had been causing her to lose quite a bit of sleep. She walked into a valley just outside of town, passing a marble column along the way, wondering about if or when the Master would show up nex-

Wait. A marble column?

Starlight went up to the seemingly random fixture, unsure how or why it got there... At least, not until a certain shadow with a pair of horns blanketed her. She turned to see him. There he was, the latest in a long line of creatures ready to conquer Equestria.

"Hello, Dear Starlight," the Master said, a strangely calm grin upon his muzzle. "Care to come over to my humble abode for a little chat?"

Weighing her options, and hoping that the spells she practiced to ward against mental manipulation were enough, she followed the fiend into the column itself. The interior was, much like Pinkie and the Doctor's TARDIS, bigger than the exterior. It was a bit plain much like the Doctor's TARDIS, although a few framed paintings of what appeared to be Minos in its classical period were added seemingly recently.

"I must say I'm impressed, Miss Glimmer." The minotaur gave one of his signature smug smirks. "You managed to rid me of one of the most haunting, angering, and mainly annoying things I've ever had to endure, and to that end I am grateful. Do not mistake this for an instant friendship, that suddenly all is well. That being said, with the absence of those infernal drums along with my gratitude, I am more inclined to be generous with you, so no fight today."

"Today?" Starlight didn't like the sound of how he said "today." What did that mean for tomorrow?

The Master chuckled. "I can guarantee you that you'll be safe from my plans for... Let's say 31 days, a full month or so? After that, however, I could strike at any time. You might see me as soon as the grace period is over, or you may not see me for years on end. On top of that, I can promise none will die, at least, not intentionally on my part. Oh, and if you tell anyone else about this meeting, I shall ensure their demise much earlier than expected."

Starlight gulped.

"In any case, all that time will only be mere moments for me. I'll likely try and find someone to ally with, preferably a local as it would make things much easier on my end. Before I depart, however, I will give you... Well, some potentially interesting information."

"Interesting?" Starlight was both suspicious and intrigued.

The Master produced a small piece of paper, displaying a seemingly random assortment of symbols.

Starlight stared at it in confusion. "So, what's this supposed to be?"

The Master chuckled again, this one without as much humor in it and more so a small bit of pride. "This is the written language of Gallifrey. I suppose you can call it Gallifreyan? In any case, it's the language of my people. Specifically, this one reads 'The Master.'" He took off his jacket, revealing his black undershirt, and pointed to a similar symbol on the inside of the neck of the jacket, near the back. "Now then, take a look at this."

"I think you'll be most intrigued by what this one says..."

A few moments later, Starlight left the Master's TARDIS, bewildered. He had to be lying, right? There was no way he could have been telling the truth about what that symbol said or why it said it. He had to be up to another of his tricks, right?

...Right?

In any case, I do believe I'll eventually feel fine enough here. The people here are very kind and friendly, and it will be nice to know that all of the weather reports are accurate. I will say, however, for as long as I am trapped here I shall forever be antsy and claustrophobic to a degree. To stay in one time period on one planet is frightening to me, to tell you the truth. At the very least, unlike if my exile went according to the Time Lords' plans, it's unfamiliar with much to explore. Not to mention a wide variety of different species! Regardless, I do think that, with the much-needed help of my friends, I shall persevere. I may not believe your "magic" is truly magic, but I do agree with the central philosophy that is consistently spouted by your apparent student.

If there is such a thing as magic, friendship is most certainly that, and I could very much use it at the moment.

So, with all that said, until I write you again or whenever I go to see you raise the sun. I am looking forward to it, as I won't truly believe until I see it with my own eyes, and even then I may be skeptical.

Sincerely yours,

The Doctor

The Doctor watched as green flames engulfed the letter. Confused, he turned to Twilight. "And you're certain that this letter will reach your mentor?"

Twilight smiled. "Yes, Doctor. I can guarantee it! She reads every one of those letters, and she also sends responses back through Spike."

Spike nodded. "Yeah, but I have to burp it out if that happens, and that gets really uncomforta-"

With a loud burp and a a flash of green flame, a letter had suddenly appeared, caught by Twilight's magic. This left the Doctor bewildered, as was becoming routine at this point. The Doctor used his own magic to open the letter. "'Dear Doctor,'" he read aloud, "'please inform Twilight I have already informed the leaders of other Gaean governments about what is about to happen outside in the event of the Doctor sending a letter.' What do you suppose she means by that?"

Just then, at 3:30 in the afternoon, it had become a moonless night.

Twilight facehoofed. "As much as I both love and respect Princess Celestia as a leader, mentor and parental figure... She can sometimes be a bit of a prankster." The Doctor stared blankly at Twilight's clear understatement.

It was then day again. Then night. Then day. Then night. Then, finally, back to day again, and it seemed to settle there.

The Doctor turned his attention back to the letter, in a slight state of shock. "'I certainly hope this is adequate proof for you, Doctor.' Hrm, well-played I suppose. Quite dangerous, one would think."

Twilight gave a nervous chuckle. "Only in the sense that it will cause a bit of a panic throughout the world, at least as long as the moon wasn't raised as well. That would cause some trouble with the tides."

The Doctor read on, causing him to give a facehoof of his own. "'Please also inform my faithful student,'" he read through gritted teeth, "'that I thank her for introducing me to Sothom. She simply has wonderful ideas for pranks. Sincerely, Princess Celestia.'" He stared daggers at the so-called "faithful student."

Twilight gave a nervous grin. "At least they're getting along?" And with that, the Doctor went back to work on his TARDIS.

Author's Note

NEXT TIME!
Two groups go on separate adventures!

Applejack, Fluttershy, Starlight, Trixie and Discord all head to the Badlands, after the Doctor encourages Fluttershy to attempt her idea of diplomacy to the changelings. On the way, Trixie and Starlight exchange secrets...

Meanwhile, back in Ponyville, an abandoned theater causes the Doctor, Pinkie, Twilight, Rainbow and Rarity to investigate after local musician Octavia Melody comes out traumatized. As the curtains rise, tonight's performance will include glimpses into other realities relating to those watching. Dark realities. Horror stories, all of them. Will our heroes find the cause? And what shall be revealed concerning Rarity?

Find out next time in...

Doctor Whooves: Exile The Mask of Tragedy