MAY 30 Sunday.

I draw another line and continue to sketch the view of the rainy sky and countryside outside of my window.

Life has gone on like normal and things have progressed as expected. I've finished both variants of the two-way emotional shield and spent some extra time optimizing them before giving them to Celestia when we met yesterday. She was very pleased and thanked me, which got a few too many thoughts running around my head.

Beyond that, I've mostly trained and went about life like normal, including another meeting with Avalon, which went well. For more practical training Stone has green-lit me training without my vision, and that means I needed to remake my armor and take one hell of a beating.

He started throwing many more things at me while we trained and ramped things up yet again, but I'm used to his training by now and know how to deal with it. As for the armor, the Mark One armor was just a normal set with a few sticking spells and Steel wood.

The armor consists of plates that are three to five inches long and anywhere between half an inch and an eighth inch thick that stack like shingles. It starts with the back and the next plates lay slightly on top of that one at a slanted angle, this repeats all the way to the helmet that caps it all off. The helmet itself is more unique.

The new helmet has no eye holes and is just a smooth dome with two holes for my ears, and that is something I'd like to fix someday. The armor has many pieces but to simplify it. The legs have hoof pieces that act like shoes and then half rings are interconnected and layered up all my legs.

The main body part of the armor is made from a large piece covering the front of my chest and plates that align down my back and sides, then separate plates going under my belly and connecting with the side plates. The layering starts at the back with two larger pieces that cover my flans and a little piece that hangs over the top of my tail, and on the underside, I have the only part of my armor with any cloth on it.

The sheath piece is basically a lower hanging codpiece from my last world, and because it hangs down a little I inclined it with cloth to prevent any pinching. It was a suggestion Stone made when I had a less-than-pleasant training session with him. It's a little tight and uncomfortable but it keeps everything protected.

The final piece of my armor is my helmet. Overall the Steel wood armor has been a success and works about as well as regular steel, but I still need to mitigate the weakness to fire and excess magic. I might have a good solution to one of those problems but it makes building new armor difficult.

I've learned that the bark and outer wood of the Fire Blossom Tree can provide good protection from fire, but getting that on my armor would be hard. I'd need to breed them together and get both the fire resistance of the Fire Blossom Tree and the strengthening properties of the Iron Oak.

But that takes time and I think I might have a better method, grafting. The process of grafting plants together is hard normally but I can do it easily, and with a little time I could graft Fire Blossom bark onto my armor to provide protection, but that also has downsides.

The bark can break or splinter, and it would add more weight to the armor, but it does seem more practical than crossbreeding and hoping for the best. So for now that's what I plan to look into and experiment with.

Beyond my training something else has come up recently, the news about the Frost Carrots finally broke out into the public eye and it's going how you would expect.

Some are already throwing around theories about how Veil Winter was able to accomplish this without anypony knowing, and it's already been suggested in the newspaper that I invented some kind of new plant spell. I smile a little at the thought of their reaction so far, I drag a newspaper over to me from my countertop.

It took longer than expected for ponies to notice them but when they did the reaction was humorous to me. The headline is unimportant and eye-catching, and most of the article talks about the Frost Carrot, when and where it will grow, along with what that will mean for different ponies and businesses. A smaller section at the end is what I find interesting though.

A new carrot? I know it sounds almost absurd, but that is the latest invention from the mysterious Veil Winter. Out of seemingly nowhere, the renowned inventor has created yet another wonder that promises to revolutionize farming life for many of those in Equestria. But all of this brings even more questions.

The main one dear reader is simply. how? To create a new magical plant is no small feat, in fact it may be an insurmountable mountain for a pony to ever accomplish. Yet, from what we at the Canterlot Daily have found no evidence to show it was worked on by anypony beyond Veil Winter alone.

The idea of a single pony being able to do a task so vast just shows that Veil Winter has exceeded all expectations yet again. But how? Well, dear reader, we have gained an insight from an expert pony who wished to remain anonymous. And I quote, 'We believe they used some form of new plant magic spell to speed up the complex process of growth, truly they are a great mind.' You heard it first here reader, plant magic.

For those ponies who need some context, plant magic is a rare branch of spellcraft that is often never practiced by anypony. The spells are known to be immensely difficult to learn and cast while they are also rare to find, and yet our intrepid inventor had seemingly done just that to create this new food.

Dear reader it seems the mystery deepens as answers prove themselves ever scarcer, but one thing is for certain dear reader. We at the Canterlot Daily will keep you updated as soon as we hear the slightest of news.

Article by Fountain Quill.

Honestly, they made that guess faster than I thought and it makes me curious who their anonymous source could be, and I'm not blind to the possibility that it's Celestia herself. She never did enact any revenge on me for my prank and I've been waiting for the other horseshoe to drop for a while now.

I also wouldn't put it past her to reveal this information to try and make myself more comfortable, if they think it's just plant magic they would probably disregard the possibility of a life affinity as it is so much more rare than plant magic. I should mention the difference between plant magic and what I do.

A life affinity is not just plant magic but also animal magic, so if you had to classify it it would be simple life magic. In contrast, plant magic is much more restrictive and weaker than life magic so if an actual expert on plant magic talked about it they would sniff out the discrepancy quickly.

Plant magic has a few significant roadblocks that I don't have, the main one being that growing seeds is almost impossible. Speeding up plant growth is hard but doable, but for a spell to mimic the fertilization and growth of a viable seed is much MUCH more difficult.

The magic costs would be very high either way, and the entire branch of magic is woefully underdeveloped. But most don't know this, and it would take a few months of research to piece that all together properly, even longer if you don't have the right books near you. So for now, at least nopony is looking for a life affinity practitioner.

The last thing I can add to all of this is the mail, it's mostly thank you mail this time as many farmers and small towns that have trouble growing crops have sent their heartfelt thanks. It's touching and I keep some of the nicer letters, I definitely did a good thing and I can hold my head high knowing that.

I stop reading and drop the newspaper so I can go back to drawing in my sketchbook, but I stop when somepony knocks on my door a few times. I cast an illusion on Entropy quickly and walked over to the door before opening it. Outside is Daisy with a slightly sad look, and the sight immediately makes me open the door fully. "Daisy, are you ok?"

She immediately notices the worry in my voice and makes a reassuring face. "Oh! I'm fine! Don't worry, this is different." She quickly tries to put me at ease.

I nod after a moment and breathe out slowly. "Sorry, this just looked a little too familiar." I try to be delicate as she does still seem a little down. "Anyway, what do you need?" I just move past those memories of the last time she was at my door when saddened.

She keeps a somber look and also looks a little hesitant and tense. "Well, you're not wrong. I... Do you mind if I come in? I want to, share some things." I flip the small wood tab and turn off the shield before stepping aside and letting her walk inside.

I let her sit at my table and start to gather the things needed for some mint lemon tea quickly before sitting down with everything a minute later. She seems a little nervous overall and I can tell she's breaching something sensitive, so I keep a calm tone and an open mind. "So, what's on your mind?"

She stays silent for a moment before sighing slightly and looking up at me. "First I feel I owe you an apology." I raised a brow but let her continue. "I never really said much about Willow, about who she is- was. The reason I'm apologizing is because I told Maple and Blaz, but not you, despite you helping me just as much." Her tone sounds a little regretful and definitely apologetic. "I'm sorry, I know you're mature but-" She trails at that.

Honestly, this is not a massive surprise, even if I act like an adult I am still not one yet, and even if I was fifteen talking to somepony so young about death is hard. I do feel a little sad that she didn't tell me and told our other friends, but I understand her reasons.

With my thoughts made up, I give her my best smile and a reassuring look. "Apology accepted. I also understand, I'll be honest and say it... hurts a little but I completely understand." I keep my normal blunt manner of speaking but try to soften it some.

Her expression has an odd mix of sadness and relief, but after a moment she smiles a little. "Thank you. But I suppose I owe you an explanation." I can tell she's trying to just leave this at that and hope it stays that way, something I'm more than willing to do for a friend.

But I cut her off. "Daisy, you don't owe me a single thing. I mean that you owe me NOTHING." I stress that heavily. "If you don't want to talk about it, just don't. I'm your friend either way." I reassure her more and keep a firm tone, and I once again see relief flash on her face.

She nods after a moment and smiles a little more. "I know. and thank you. But I want to, and I think I should. But... Do you want to hear it? It's a little... Dark." She warns me but I nod without hesitation. "I might ramble so please bear with me, but to start I have to talk about my early life."

The tea is now ready and I pour us both some, I listen as I pass her a teacup. "I was born in a small town on the far upper east coast, it was mostly a fishing town with a fair few Griffons, it's called Ice Drift, and it gets its name from sea ice that washes ashore sometimes. It was nice, I was a filly when I lived there and I only had my grandsire and my dam." Those last words bring a whole new wave of sadness to her face.

She takes a deep breath. "My grandsire passed away when I was around ten and my dam moved us to Canterlot, I... I think she wanted to just get far away from that small town, and Canterlot was the furthest she could find." Daisy is rambling but I let her, this is important to her and I should listen.

"Things were fine, she worked and I went to school, but it didn't last. I won't be specific but my dam got sick, and they couldn't heal her." She almost looks like she wants to cry but keeps herself together, while I have my sad feelings wash over me when I realize where this is probably going.

"She... I hoped she would get better, but she didn't. Over time it became very... Clear, what was going to happen, and then life just got complicated." Her expression has a bittersweet look. "I was your age when this all happened, and still had school, so one day at the library I just, broke down. It was all just too much at the time, worrying over my dam and my future."

I feel some sympathy for her, I may have never lost a parent, but I know what it's like to struggle on your own in the world. "While I was crying in some random corner of the library Willow found me. She... She just sat down and started talking to me, for hours without me even asking, and it helped a little, so I came back because I didn't have anypony else I could really talk to."

She gains an odd smile as some memory I can't see. "It's odd how we meet those most important to us in such random ways." I stay silent but nod, there is wisdom in those words. "At the time she was the only thing really keeping me together, I had nopony else... And in a way, she became something of a parent to me when my dam, passed." Her tone starts to recover and be more level as she talks.

"She helped me through all of that, even got me a job at the library to help me have someplace to live." She drinks more tea and takes a few deep breaths. "After that life, just sort of, went. Time passed and I moved on with life, but Willow's... Passing, really brought it all back." Her tone is steady now and her smile is almost normal.

She went silent and I decided to finally speak. "Thank you." She raises a brow. "For trusting me, it takes a lot to share things like that with others, even friends." I smile as her smile widens. "I'm also sorry you had to go through all that, life can be... Well, sometimes it just is."

I remember older days for a moment before pushing them out of my mind. "But things heal with time. Regardless, if you ever need to talk I'm here to listen, it's my specialty as an apprentice." I joke a little to lighten things up, and it seems to work as she chuckles a bit.

She nods. "Thanks again, and I will." She gives me a firm tone in that second part. "But enough about all this unpleasantness, how have you been?" She changes the subject and I go along with it.

I smile back at her. "Well, not much really. I did get to work a little more with Avalon." They all learned about Avalon after Blaz saw me working with him one day, but they just knew I was helping him with something private and had the decency to leave it at that. "Overall though, things are their normal boring selves." But they aren't, and in that moment fate seems to take my statement as a challenge.

As if on cue I hear the all too familiar sound of a flash of fire as Philomena teleports into my apartment with the worst timing I have ever seen. Daisy Jumps up and looks shocked as Philomena lands on the table in front of me with a letter in her beak and an expectant look

My mind blanks a little as all this comes rushing at me and I can only say one thing once my shock wears off. "Oh, buck," I mutter softly and look over to see Daisy still looking shocked, but my words seem to have snapped her out of it.

"Language!!" She scolds me a little before looking back to Philomena. "Also, what!? Do you have a Phoenix? Or, is it wild? What is this?" She looks at Philomena with a completely baffled expression and voices extreme confusion. Philomena for her part gets tired of waiting for food and being next to such a loud pony, so she just drops the letter on the table and flies off to sit next to Entropy on her perch.

My mind is now in full-blown panic mode. :FUUCCKKK!!! WHY??!!: My ears pin back as Daisy stares at Philomena before turning back to me, when she looks at me it all hits me like a brick wall. She sees my scared expression and she stops being shocked, she stops for a moment and giving me a concerned look. "Shade? Are you ok?" She asks with clear worry as I probably don't look ok, but I barely register her words.

I stare back trying to get my mind in order and think of a way out of this, but everything just leads to dead ends and infeasible plans that would just make me lie and deceive a friend. I feel my mind start to spiral. Daisy looks more worried when I don't respond and just stares blankly as my breathing gets more panicked. "Shade! Seriously, what's happening? Are you OK?" She also starts to get worried and touches me with her hooves, and that's what breaks my mind out of its panic.

I force myself to nod shakily. "Y-yes, no? Maybe? I don't know." I'm indecisive and still reeling, but I've grown used to working under pressure and in less-than-ideal situations. Daisy relaxes a little but still looks worried for me, I drain my tea and start to pour more. "Please sit down, I... It seems I have some things to explain." I say in a defeated tone.

She does as I ask but for nearly a minute neither of us speaks, but suddenly the silence is broken by both of us at once. "I'm sorry, it seems I'll have to ask-"

"It's ok, you don't need to tel-" We both cut each other off and despite the situation I find some humor in it all, Daisy takes the opportunity to continue as I try to get my breathing under control. "Just breathe Shade, in, and out, just like me." I'm still panicked but will myself to breathe in and out, and after nearly a minute I calm down enough to not look scared.

She's very concerned but stays patient, after I look a little better she continues. "I don't need to know Shade, if... If this is something you don't want to talk about I can drop it. Right now." She is probably still curious, I can hear it in her tone, but the offer is made with nothing but my well-being in mind.

My mind can think somewhat now and I can say the offer is tempting. I could just take it and never talk about this, but I'm not naive enough to miss that our friendship would change if I did that, and am I really willing to drift from a friend over this? I ponder that for several moments before letting out a long sigh and looking back up at Daisy, no I'm not willing to.

Even if she knows about... About all the things I've lied about, she might be able to forgive me. At least that's what I tell myself as I take a deep breath and remember to breathe.

"I... No, I'll explain, but." I struggle with my words for a moment before steadying my tone and trying to overcome my mix of fear and uncertainty. "I'm not good at sugarcoating things, you know that, so I'm going to be blunt. There are things I'm not willing to talk about, and some things I literally can't." I try to steady my tone more as her face shifts in between a mix of worry and confusion.

I take one last deep breath. "I don't like to lie. I'll avoid a topic, tell half-truths, or even just shut down a conversation. I tell you all this, because you're my friend and I... I don't want to lose a friend. And I know you just asked me to forgive you over this, over keeping secrets." Her face shifts to reassurance.

She even gives me a small smile. "Hey, I don't know what." She looks over at Philomena. "THIS, is. But I'm not going to quit on you. We all have secrets, there are things I'd never tell you either, so calm down I'm not going anywhere. But If you are willing I... I would like whatever form of explanation you're comfortable with." At this point, she's just trying to keep my calm and help me through what might be a panic attack.

I nod my thanks again and try to convince my mind of her words. "Thank you... I... Thank you." I shake my head for a moment and try to think clearly. I can't tell Daisy everything mostly for the safety of us both, but I also don't know what is safe to tell her. I could just be half honest? I could just let her know the big things and then not give context or detail.

It's not the worst idea, she could know some truths and that would be it. I go back and forth but decided to just be truthful with one of the few friends I have, before I lose them to my lies. "I... I'm going to be honest and tell you, that you probably won't get many answers, in fact you'll definitely leave with more questions than when we started."

She nods her acceptance and keeps her reassuring look. "Most importantly, I can tell you why I have never told anypony about this, even... Even my friends." I let my sadness at keeping this a secret bleed into my tone. "But you can never tell anypony, I mean it, NEVER, not even Blaz or Maple," I stress my words with a deadly serious face that makes her look concerned again.

I formed something of a plan in my head and intact it quickly. "I'm still worried though, I don't want to lose a friend. So, I'll let you pick. I can either take your offer and never talk about this again, or I can give you vague answers that you can never share." I keep my serious tone and look her in the eyes as best I can with the mad mix of worry and guilt in my head right now.

She stares at me with determination and once again she nods. "I can tell this is weighing on you, so half answers will have to do. But I might ask questions, even if I don't get answers, Now spill, because I want to know how you have a Phoenix." She surprisingly relaxes her tone a lot and ramps up the reassuring look.

I try to smile again, but it comes out lopsided, I stand up while picking up the letter from the table. "Come on then, I have something to show you. Also, don't touch anything, I don't feel like exploding today." I try to joke, more for my sake than Daisy's.

She looks slightly uncertain at my words but follows me to the only room in my apartment she hasn't been in. "Very funny Shade. Wait, that was a joke right?" I just open the door and walk inside, her shock will be fun at least. "Right?" She repeats while following me inside. :I feel like I've done this before:

It seems it's finally time some secrets saw the light of day. Please let this go well, I need my friends.

Author's Note

Thanks for reading. :]
Current year is 994

This came out to be much longer then I thought it would, so I'm going to split it, don't worry you'll get the rest tomorrow. I think.

Also, this is a lot more somber and sad then my normal MO, and I hope to make things more up beat nest time.

Also also. I'm sorry if this brought up any bad memories for those reading this, I wasn't really sure how to add a warning so I hope you can forgive there not being one.