OCT 17 Sunday.

I move around a few notes I've made on the brownish blood I got from the Timberwolves.

It's been a week now and I haven't made any real progress in this sap-like blood. Feeding it life magic seems to keep it alive in some form, but I'm hesitant to try and make it multiply or manipulate it. Despite all my progress in life magic, I'm not sure I'm ready for Biomancy yet.

I did find out that unlike normal blood, as long as I keep it somewhere with enough life magic around it, it remains stable and alive, that's why I've been storing it next to the Gold Oak. It might also have something to do with the cold but I'm also not sure, still, it's something I should look into before everything unfreezes.

Speaking of the cold, things have been going well for my crop breeding. I'm nearly finished with both the newly named Frost Potatoes and Frost Cabbage, they still need a few more months but by the time spring comes, they should both be completely done.

I get up from my desk and spend a few minutes double-checking my armor. Right now I'm in Gaia's Eden and I've been spending some of my time today repairing my armor from the minor damage caused by the Timberwolf that bit my foreleg, while the small cut I got has healed just fine after a few days.

Nopony even noticed it was there, and the bruise was healed by me with a spell the same day I got hurt. It took a little while to regrow and repair my armor, but it was easy compared to any form of metal armor. It did serve me well, even if it is just wood it can take some decent damage.

The leg plates are some of the thinnest so the fact it was able to take a full-force bite from a predator is pretty good. This whole event has made me both proud and more cautious than ever, this was the first time I've ever fought a wild animal. It's very different from a pony.

They didn't try to injure or defend, they were hunting me. I'll need to think of more situations if I want to try and investigate them again, I would rather not risk this more than I absolutely need to. I stop after looking over my armor and start to think of other things as I leave my shack and start walking around.

It's a calm day, the snowfall is light, and the sun is peeking through the clouds every once in a while. As I walk around I glance over at Celestia's home, I can feel that she's there right now. She's stopped working on her home as much and this is the first time she's been here in a week, she's normally around once every few days working on this or that.

It's not a real surprise though, our next meeting will probably also be a bit somber. This time of year is always hard on her, and every time I see her like this it tugs on my heartstrings. With that in mind I'm planning to do something for her on Nightmare Night, specifically Luna's garden.

Last year I helped improve it, and this year I'd like to do the same again, something small like a Copper Lily maybe? I don't plan to keep it secret though, I'll be asking Celestia for her full permission before doing anything at all. There are some things you simply don't mess with without permission, and the dead or lost are at the top of that list.

I have a meeting with Cadance today which should be... Interesting. Honestly, I've mostly tried to keep Twilight out of my mind recently. But from her letters, she's been busy with tests so it's as good a time as any to think on all of this more, because even after a few weeks I'm still lost on how to properly deal with this.

My mind is still made up, I don't want to pursue a relationship with Twilight. The timing and my life just makes it too complicated, hell I never even brought up the simple fact that I have too many damn secrets. I would never be able to be completely honest with her and lies are never a good thing to build a relationship on.

It's not even about Veil Winter, the changelings, and my friendship with her mentor. So many things I'd probably never be able to tell her, and even if I do, the results will probably be horrible. I'd either need to keep it secret for too long, or she knows too much and could endanger us both. I shake my head a bit and sigh as I once again lose myself in this rabbit hole.

I focus my mind on one thing at a time and start walking over to Celestia's home, which has seen slow but steady improvement. I don't knock as I can already feel her movement inside her workroom and she might not hear me as she's probably carving something, as I enter I look down and notice a new doormat.

It reads, greet the sun with a smile. I can't help but snort at the ridiculous but on-brand choice of my friend. Her home has seen some serious improvement and now has a few carpets, a coffee table, and a couch, along with a few small paintings hanging from the walls and a Solar Vine in a pot that she asked me to make.

After I look around I knock on her workroom door to not startle her while she's working with tools. It's a moment before her voice answers. "Come in, and watch your hooves." The tone is, well, It's not really a sad look. In fact, it's much better than it normally is this time of year, but it's still not her normal tone.

I open the door slowly to see Celestia's back as she focuses on the desk in front of her. All around the floor are pieces of paper and drawings laid out next to a small wooden carving in the middle. In the middle is a half-carved statue of a pony that is a little crude, it needs a lot of work and it's clear from the damaged ones to the side that this is not her first attempt.

I look back up to her, even if my eyes linger on her flank pressed against the floor. :It's not the time for such thoughts brain!: I force that all down, "Seems you've been, busy," I comment quietly while moving past her work and over to her, I move next to her and look up to see her face.

It's a mix of a smile and sad eyes, she's definitely feeling it this year, but even with her mood, she smiles down at her work. "Yes. I have a... This project I'd like to finish." Her tone is a bit somber, but also happy in an odd way. "I'd have thought you'd be meeting with Cadance by now? Your meeting is soon I believe."

She turns to look down at me with a friendly smile. Her desk has a few blocks of wood and tools, it looks like she's trying to practice carving feathers. It doesn't take me long to guess what she's trying to carve, so I nod and smile back without asking what she is making.

"I've carved feathers before, it's a bit difficult to get right. I can get you some Steel wood and my tools though, the wood is very sturdy so it's easier to make small details, and my tools are enchanted to make it easier.' I offer immediately. It's not like I mind her using them and I still have a good amount of Steel wood left over from making my armor.

She pauses and I see her smile grow some more. "You wouldn't mind? I may need them for a week or two." I nod again. "Thank you, Shade." She looks at a drawing sitting on the desk, the drawing lacks many details but it's definitely Luna. "Do you want to know what I'm making?" She offers some form of thanks.

I shake my head. "No, I think I guessed already." She doesn't look surprised. "I'll drop the wood and tools off later today, but before that, I came to... Ask about something but it's, so I don't want to bring it up but-" I'm not good and gentle talk of finesse, and she sees right through my attempt at being gentle and cuts me off.

"You are horrible at subtlety, not going back to normal. You're boring otherwise." She's actually able to make something of a joke despite her mood.

I chuckle after a moment and just do as asked. "I. Well. Last year we fixed up, her, garden. So, do you want to do it again? Maybe even add a few more plants?" I still try to be gentle, just less so than I intended. She pauses and gives me a slightly surprised look, but that quickly turns back into an even wider smile.

It's one of those smiles that lets me know I did the right thing. "I. I would love that. I can deactivate the spell around the castle if you need to prepare things? But sadly I'm busy right now and won't be able to join you." She admits with a little regret. "I would like to spend the... Date at the castle though, if you are willing to join me?" My heart melts a little at her stare.

I should have expected something like this honestly, she's always busy. I nod after a moment of thought. "I don't need long, if I tell you a date before that then will that work?" She nods silently. "Perfect, then don't worry, I'll make it a surprise for you and we'll go there on Nightmare Night. Does that work for you?" I offer to hopefully make her feel better about not having time.

Her eyes sparkle a little like Twilight's does and she pulls me into a quick side hug with her wing. It's not like one of her full hugs, but it's still nice. "That sounds amazing. Thank you." She lets go a little quicker than I'd like, but I don't voice that. "Now, get going, you have a different princess to deal with."

I smile and leave her alone again, I can take a hint and she needs her space right now. If nothing else I think having some more personal space is helping as she looks better than last year, then again it's hard to tell. I don't waste my time, I gather my things in my shack and have Entropy quickly take me to the palace.

I'm lost in thought as I'm led to a meeting room. I'm trying to think of what I want to do with Luna's garden, I don't want to make a drastic change but I want to improve it. Maybe I should look into plants that bloom at night? I end my thoughts as I enter a pair of doors.

Cadance looks just like always, but she also has a slightly more somber feeling. "Hello Shade, doing well?" It's a plain greeting but it's enough to break the ice.

I nod and try to improve my mood from the somber feelings of my talk with Celestia. "Well enough, but I do have this princess that keeps forcing me to read romance novels." I start off with a joke and sit down opposite of her.

She shows that damned smile in return. "Maybe I wouldn't need you to read them if you knew anything about relationships.

Then again you already have a filly after you ." She jabs back with no heat, she's just trying to be fun but I scrunch up my muzzle a bit as she dives us right into the deep end.

I sigh. "She told you my choice I guess?" I ask back. It's not a surprise that Celestia would share this, she was the one who suggested I talk to Cadance anyway.

Cadance sees the shift in my mood and drops the jokes. "Sorry, that was probably a bit fast." I just wave her off, I may not like it as much but I prefer things blunt. "Yes, Aunty did tell me. But first, is Aunty doing well? I expect you've seen her?" She asks with a little concern. "This time of year can be... Hard on her."

I nod back quickly seeing the worry she has. "I saw her not long ago, she's... Well, she's better than I expected, but that's not saying much. I think having some personal space helps, at least as much as it can considering what this time means to her." I keep things vague as it's not my place to share her activities.

She stops for a moment and looks a little surprised. "She told you about her sister?" It's asked with a gentleness that Cadance doesn't use often. I raise a brow and just nod affirmatively. That smile gets even wider but she moves us along right after. "So, why not?"

It's a blunt question but I don't need to think about it long. "I... You are really just going for it huh? Well, a few things, but honestly the main thing is secrets. Veil Winter and all that." I don't really know where to start so I just pick one of the big reasons. I can't say the main one after all, there is simply too much risk.

I may be willing to change things but I still need to preserve what I can of the main cast, to some degree at least. Cadance doesn't joke, which feels odd, she just nods. "Not a bad reason, but if that was not a problem what else would stop you?" I think I see where she's going with this and decide to just list it all out.

"I don't really know her, I would have to hide a lot of things, I feel my work takes too much of my time, and... Well, honestly? I just don't feel that way about her, at all." I try to stay consistent with my answer but hesitate as Twilight is something like Family to Cadance, and I also come off as a little defensive over my choice.

She still doesn't judge and again nods with an understanding look, but that smile is still fucking there. "Again, good reasons, and no need to explain, I know you don't love her like that." I feel a little worried at her calm answer. "I'd also like to make something clear. I'm not here to convince you, I just want to help you no matter your choice. Nothing else." She says with a gentle tone.

I pause at that and smile back, I don't think she was going to but hearing it is nice. "Sorry, it's been on my mind a lot. Thanks." I did act a little too bluntly there, and now I'm a little embarrassed and awkward. After a moment of her being patient, I drink some tea and try to move on. "I feel like I need to say something to Twilight. I'm just not sure about the what or how."

She takes it in stride. "Well. Why do you want to do it now? You could let it sit for a while, and see where it goes from there?" I take a moment to stew over those words.

But, I've had a lot of time to think so I already know what my answer is. "I feel, like I'm leading her on in some way... She likes me, but I don't like her and it just doesn't feel right to not tell her that, it's misleading and I don't like doing that to her." This is the main source of my urgency, the longer this sits the worse it could get.

She doesn't say anything so I continue. "I also don't mind the idea of her being a friend, if I just let this sit and bubble then I fear how it might end." I feel a little weight leave me after actually saying it out loud. I expected many things, but in the end, she just kept that same smile.

She refills my tea. "Love is an endlessly complicated thing, and many never really think through how other ponies feel. But it takes a kind heart to worry more over the other pony than yourself." I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not, so I just wait for her to continue.

"There is no easy answer here, there never is when it comes to love." She seems happy overall but still hasn't really answered my worries and I'm not really in the mood for beating around the bush.

I give her a deadpan look. "I came here for advice, not philosophy. Unless you want me to join in?" I joke to try and keep things light. Her face scrunches up a bit like mine did. I chuckle at that, "I'll take that as a no. But, seriously, I could use some advice here." I plead a little.

She seems to have mercy on my poor soul. "And there goes my new romance novel. Fine, look I don't really have a good solution for you. There simply is no easy solution here." I feel a little lost for a moment but she cuts me off before I can ask anything.

"My advice? Be you. Be the beautifully blunt and kind pony you are. Just tell her, tell her you don't like her but still want to be friends." I stop a little and try to raise my concerns again but she silences me. "I know, and it will not be fun or easy. But even still, this is eating you up inside a little, maybe not massively but it is there and it doesn't need to be." Her tone is humorous as she dumps this on me.

I can't deny her words, this has proven to be a weight on me, not massively but it's still there. She chuckles seeing me struggle, "Look, let her down gently. Don't hold this in, just do it and try to go from there. Keep talking to her, keep trying to be friends. But even if just for your own sake, tell her." She looks thoroughly amused at this point.

I stare up at her. "But. It. Really?" She looks even more amused and nods. "It just feels, mean? I can do it but... It's so blunt. I need, like, a way to properly do it." I try to reason but she waves it off.

She laughs seeing me continue to struggle. "You dense Colt, you want to tell her, so do it. She likes you for who you are, so just do that. I can promise it will be rocky, but I can't see a reason it won't work out. You two can still be friends as long as you actually try to mend anything that breaks." She encourages me and insults me at the same time.

I stop for a moment. Have I really been overthinking this all? I know she's still being simplistic, but I think she is right. This isn't just about Twilight, I may not want to hurt her, but trying to find some magic way to solve this easily with some form of advice is not really working right now.

Maybe this isn't as complicated as it seems. I wipe the confused look off my face and smile a bit, "I never thought you'd be the pony to give me a good kick in the flank." I laugh a little at the situation.

She keeps that smile and nods almost proudly. "Anytime anywhere, I'm happy to do just that. But-" I look up at her as her tone shifts. "I want you to turn her down as you are not some script, but even then you need to know what not to say, and I have just the thing for that." I don't disagree, I could definitely use some advice on that if nothing else.

But even with a need for an example or advice, I still frown when she places another damned romance novel on the table. I look up at her, "If your stallion kicks my flank for this I'm coming after you." I threaten, but she just shows THAT DAMNED SMILE while laughing at me!

Author's Note

Thanks for reading. :D
Current year is 994

I tried to think of so many ways this could go, but in the end this was the best I could do. Maybe it's not perfect but I think it fits who they are.

Also, what do you think we should do with Luna's garden?