JUL 15 Saturday.

I watch as Entropy preens her feathers slowly while I sit and listen to the wind blow and grass shift.

The peaceful nature around me helps me relax as I simply feel the world around me as it moves and flows in both seen and unseen ways. It's still so surreal the way I see the world, I don't think I could ever truly form words to describe the things I feel while sensing all this.

Eventually, I retract my senses as my magic starts to run low. I let out a deep breath stop meditating on the world around me and center myself back into my complicated thoughts. The past week has been... Weird for me. My life goes on as normal and nothing has changed, nothing but my thoughts it seems.

It's all centered around the questions Cadance asked me. What do I want? And what does that mean for me? As with all the difficult decisions in my life I started by simply writing everything down and sorting all my thoughts and options, Preferably before I do anything stupid or rash.

First and foremost, hindsight is a bitch and really makes you rethink life sometimes. Looking back on it I wouldn't say I love Celestia, even thinking that feels really odd, I do know I don't currently feel like that but I also know that there is something more there than just hormones.

I feel for her, but I don't have full feelings for her, if that makes any form of sense. But, that's about as far as my mind got before I hit a lot of internal indecision. It all centers on a single thought, I know I don't currently have full feelings for her, but do I think that I can develop those feelings over time?

Yes, as simple as that is there is no denying that I could fall for her, it's not exactly hard with a mare like her, we are also very similar in many ways and I feel very close to her. But with that answer comes so many questions, would she ever feel something similar? Do I want something like that? Can a full relationship like that even work between us?

Let's go in order so I don't drift off-topic like I tend to do. Could, or would, Celestia ever feel something similar? I don't know, I know her well but not in this way as I tend to be gentle about probing her past. If she had relationships in the past, a whole other can of worms, then asking about it might just cause her unnecessary grief, so I don't have a lot to work with here.

Do I want something like that? This is a bit more complicated for me. On one hoof I can say with some decent certainty that I like the idea of something like that, but I also don't want to affect our current relationship, and personally, I don't think I want an at-all relationship at the moment.

I think I just don't want that, not yet at least. I'm young, and I want to explore and travel and experiment, but things like that make a relationship difficult, not impossible but also I don't think I like the idea of doing that to somepony I would... Well, love.

If I boil it down, I don't feel like I want something so serious in my life at the moment, or maybe that's just me making excuses to not deal with this? It's hard to put my thoughts into order, I just... I need more time, this is all still fresh, and bringing it up so quickly is not helping.

But I also realized that stomping these feelings down and not letting them come to mind, dismissing them as puberty, or being too hotly minded, is not the solution either. I'm not sure where that really leaves me though, I could continue to ignore it or try to find a way out of it, or I could change things and see what happens.

I'm not really sure what to do, plain and simple, but I think that's ok. Cadance was very insistent that I don't do anything rash, and that I don't dive head first into looking for a decision or trying to change things rapidly. So I guess I'll do nothing and see what happens for now while thinking about this more.

The final question is, can a full relationship like that even work between us? Again I don't really know, but I can see some obvious problems that will eventually pop up. First, she's immortal, straight up she won't age and her dying is very unlikely to happen anytime soon, if the future changes that is.

The future is another problem but I don't want to think about that right now, I just can't. Yet another problem is her standing in society, even if I couldn't give less of a shit if we take that step it will become a problem at some point. Finally, there is the fact that I'm not immortal.

I'll die, and that would hurt her.

I lay in the grass field of Gaia's Eden for a moment before shaking my head and standing up. Those thoughts are getting a little too dark, and diving into that so quickly won't help me. I have time, so I will use that time to not rush myself and think it all through at a slower-than-normal pace, or at least slow for me.

I take a deep breath as Entropy lands on my back. "Happy?" She asks slightly concerned and shifts to sit down while rubbing my side with her wing a little.

I smile at her and nod while pushing away any darker thoughts from my mind. "I am, I just got a little caught up in my thoughts again," I reassured her honestly. Really my thoughts haven't affected my life that much because I'm trying to control and measure my reaction this time.

I try not to think about it unless I'm somewhere private and calm, where I have space to think on my own and sort things slowly as I want to, or walk away whenever I want if needed. That's not to say nopony has noticed, last game night Daisy commented on me looking a little distracted, I just said I had something to think about and they offered to be there if needed, my friends are still the best.

I also had some fun studying with Twilight for a short amount of time when we bumped into each other at the library. My friendship with her is light, but we enjoy the time and things are progressing towards an actual friendship that we can be proud of someday.

I again pull myself out of those wandering thoughts and sit down at the small table I have inside my shack. It's a small workspace but for my current project I don't need all that much room, and I've been thankful to have something to work on and not be consumed by my stray thoughts.

After nearly three years of slow and inconsistent work, the Love rune is finally complete and functional. It took us one hundred and seventy-three attempts and several months, but it is finally working properly, and after testing it does work. Now my work can truly begin and it starts with a spell.

I'm attempting to create a spell to gather and collect a large amount of love for Changelings to use as a food source. There are several ways I can go about this, but the best I came up with is a modification of my first attempt to solve this particular problem. The emotional shield.

My last attempt at this was simple enough, a shield that worked as a one-way filter for any emotional magic to trap it all inside. I want to go further this time though, not just collecting what love drifts through the shield, but actually gathering the love from the environment and collecting it at a point.

This is why I needed the Love rune, no other rune for love would work for such a specific task. The Runic Context of the Love rune leans towards filtering and targeting love affinity magic, we tried to also fit in something for purifying but that was a little too complicated and we couldn't fit it in a good way so we prioritized.

Back to the point though I started by ripping apart and remaking the emotional shield to be more robust and well-rounded. I use the Love rune and the Emotional rune I used before to set up the filter for the shield. It will block out any emotional magic that is not love affinity magic, but I'll have to test it and see how effective it is as no filter is perfect.

This alone is taking me many hours as I really need this filtering and containing spell to be robust and able to work very reliably, even with a base spell this will take several more days to finish properly, and this is only one of the two spells I'll need to make. Like I mentioned I also need another spell that will do the love gathering, and maybe some purifying if I can find a purifying rune of some type to add in as well.

Any purifying rune won't be as good as a custom rune for this purpose but it might be able to help in some way, I'll need to test it thoroughly either way. That brings to mind another thing I'll need to do, I need to talk to a changeling to get some answers and test the multiple prototypes I'll inevitably be making.

Beyond just the spells for gathering love I need to think about security, this will be a massive food source for Changelings and I know for a fact both of the queens will try to monopolize it when they find out it exists. But they can't do that if I do it first, and so I need some form of security on any enchanted item I make.

For now, though, I just make several notes for later and have Entropy take me back to my apartment. When I arrive I start preparing to leave again right after. After the last time I spent two weeks locked down inside working constantly, I learned to stop and take a damned break.

I descend the stairs of my apartment building and walk out into the city streets while heading towards the park with Entropy on my back under an illusion. The streets are as busy as always and when we arrive at the park I sit at a bench. It has a path behind it and it faces a small pond, Entropy flies off somewhere to play alone for a bit while I open a book and start to flip through the pages slowly.

It's a medical text about healing Griffon burn wounds, it's a Griffon healing book I was lucky enough to notice at the library and has proven to be informative and interesting. A difference that I noticed is that medical books written by Griffons tend to be a bit less squeamish about drawing what the wounds look like.

Many Pony books don't do that, or draw more simplistic representations for the most part. The author of this book took care in being very accurate with their drawings, it is interesting. It reminds me a little of the horror from my old world, this world sorely lacks visual horror of any real type.

As I'm reading I notice a few ponies walking on the path behind the bench glance at what I was reading. Most who do look disturbed at the drawings and I just chuckle at their reactions once they hurry away. It's pretty funny to me how they react, such pure minds make the best victims for horror, or maybe that says more about me than them?

The ponies that see it give me odd looks and they act weird about it as they move away, or at least weird for me. Then again, most ponies would feel ashamed at the thought of traumatizing others so maybe I'm just the weird one.

POV Shift, Celestia.

I sit at my desk as one of my little ponies is kind enough to deliver some fresh tea for me. I blow on the steaming cup for a moment and enjoy the lemony taste that fills my muzzle. Even after five years, the oddity of drinking such a tea nearly every day remains.

I bring over my quill and deliberately draw out another note on the musical sheet paper I have resting in front of me. I do so enjoy taking the time to make music again, yet another thing in my life that has changed for the better because of my friend. He really has changed so much, hasn't he?

I've seen centuries pass, but in a short five years life for Equestria at large has changed so much. Amusingly enough Shade's earliest and most simple piece of work brought by far the largest changes. The simple act of making light widely accessible to everypony was all it took.

My mind wanders to eight centuries ago. At the time the most widely used source of light was open fires, with mostly nobles and wealthier families buying candles. For most of my ponies, it was simple fires, hearths, torches, and braziers, so I set out to try and improve the situation.

It took me thirty years to grow the candle industry and have ponies research better and cheaper ways to make candles, all with the goal of lowering the price and expanding the reach. In those thirty years and the following decades, it took far too long for my liking and made less of an effect than I'd have liked.

So many things slowed me down, this is all to say that improving the situation can take a very long time. But Shade utterly destroyed any expectations by solving the problem in an entirely unexpected way. I did look into magical lights several times, but it never worked out, until this little fearful colt sent me a letter one day.

Beyond just the magical light, many of his other inventions have improved life for many. That friend of his as well, Avalon I believe? He shows promise, even if Shade did a lot of the work he helped and did an amicable job. The prosthetics might not help a great many, but those it does help have their lives practically transformed.

Not even to mention his botanical inventions, the winter crops have been nothing short of a boon, and not just for Equestria itself. Many nations, the Yaks, in particular, have a great want for them and trade is abound. I let my thoughts drift further in this rare moment of relaxation inside my office.

That stallion, because he is a stallion now, really has done a great deal in a very short time. I finish off a few more musical notes on the sheet before hearing a knock on my door, which now has a lock on it after it was replaced. "Enter," I call out before placing my half-finished music under a few pages of paperwork.

I am pleasantly surprised to see my Niece walking into my office with a slightly tired look. I raise a brow as she flops on the couch, "Niece. Are your duties really that stressful? I thought I gave you lighter work for the next few weeks still?" She's more than able to work on her own, but I took a little of her work so she could relax after her recent trip.

She sighs a bit and smiles at me while moving her crown to the table. "I have good news, courtesy of me and Shade's continued work." She says while moving a piece of paper over to me. I keep my brow raised as Shade didn't mention working on anything recently, wait?"

A sudden thought reminds me of something and I quickly unfold the paper and read through the message.

Celestia.

Me and this teasing shark dressed as a pony, finally succeeded in making the Love rune.

But, because SOMEPONY grounded me from making the spells I want to make, it will take a few weeks to get a prototype done, maybe two months at the most depending on how thorough I want to be. And I will probably be very thorough with all of this work because of how important this is, so why risk it?

With that in mind can you put me in contact with a Changeling when I'm ready? I'll need to do a lot of tests to make sure nothing goes horribly wrong. Actually are Cricket or Cicada still with you? If not I presume you're still in contact with them, Cicada in particular is fairly knowledgeable in emotional magic so it best to test this with her.

Also, I told Cadance I own some land, you know the place, so try your best to tease her about it. to help her find it.

Signed your friend, Shade.

I giggle a bit at the odd humor and paranoia he shows in his words, while also smiling at the good news. The Love rune has been a lengthy project and it's being completed is massive news. The negotiations with the Changelings have been... Difficult and frustrating to say the least, but this changes a lot of things.

I snort a little at the crossed-out text and turn to my Niece with a smirk, now understanding her tired look. "So, how has your search been going so far? I hope it's going well because this letter is from a week ago if I remember the last time you two met." I tease her a bit while asking a question about her delayed news.

She sighs and rubs her eyes a bit with her hoof. "He said it would take a few weeks for even basic tests, so a week wouldn't change much." There is some logic there, we still have a while to wait for anything we can work with, and it of course gave her some time to search. "You wouldn't happen to have a clue for me, right my lovely Aunty?" She asks in a tone she used when much younger to try and beg for this or that.

I smile at her blatant attempt. I'll need to thank Shade next time I see him, I rarely get such good opportunities. "Well, what did he tell you already? I wouldn't want to confuse you by repeating anything now would I?" I ask in a teasing tone while giggling as she deflates.

She glares a bit and sighs again. "He said he owns land outside of the city, and that's IT. I already looked at anything under his name and SEVERAL other registers." She complies while I sit back thoroughly amused at her complaints. Shade really picked the right words here.

The Everfree forest isn't even in any property registry as nopony lives there to my knowledge, beyond shade that is. I just give her a reassuring smile, "Oh, don't worry. It is out there, but he's a very clever stallion and is very good at hiding when he wants to." I lie through my teeth and hold in a laugh as her ears perk up.

She keeps her slightly more attentive look. "Thank you, Aunty." She says sweetly. "Also, I heard you had a great birthday party, you should have invited me, I would have brought a gift." she scrounges for more information right after getting a hint, real or otherwise. "Oh, and he never did mention what he got you that's making you so happy." She adds with curiosity.

I feel myself smile again at the thought of the gift Shade got me, a very thoughtful gift indeed. I mentioned my love of piano once and he remembered it years later. "The party was a surprise to me as well, and he got me a piano, which I have greatly enjoyed playing on his land." I tease more information as she looks surprised about my answers.

After a few moments of me working on my music more, she smiles in a way I've seen several times before, mostly when Shade imitates a tomato. "So, a very clever stallion ha? You know-" She starts up with something of a trend I've noticed, my niece really is a very... Insistent adviser when she wants to be. "-Shade is quite the stallion indeed."

I sigh a little as she tries to tease me about Shade. I will admit he is certainly impressive, but teasing like this is just annoying sometimes. Then again if Shade can deal with it so can I, with that in mind I imitate him a little by giving her an unimpressed and deadpan stare. "Need I remind you of the closet incident? Because I don't believe Shade has heard about that and he might enjoy the story." I mention a certain incident from her and Shining's past.

She drops the smile quickly and I feel my smirk come back in turn as she blushes. "No, I don't think he needs to know about that... Please?" She pleads a little while I just move several piles of paperwork over to her.

I nod in agreement. "Of course my lovely Niece, with you being so loving though you surely wouldn't mind helping your lovely Aunty with some paperwork?" I ask sweetly as her ears pin back.

Author's Note

Thanks for reading. :}
Current year is 995

So, I took a certain potatoes advice and made some of this chapter about Celestia's POV. Although I felt like Celestia would be far more resistant to Cadance's teasing attempts or probing questions so I had it end with Celestia shutting down Cadance before much could happen.

We have plenty of time so no need to rush and have Celestia start asking things at the same time as well, plus I have other things to focus on with my obsessive writing.

Shade is very undecided right now and is going to change his thoughts a lot over time, fair warning.

Ps. I'm taking the day off like normal, see you all on Friday.