OCT 31 Tuesday.

I walk up the stairs after some shopping and make my way to my apartment with Entropy on my back. As I walk down the hallway to my apartment I see Daisy leaving her apartment. "Hey, Daisy." I greet her and she smiles at both me and Entropy.

"Hello to you as well. She seems happy, you feed her something special?" Daisy comments as Entropy happily sits on my back chirping a tune. I nod in agreement and chuckle. "I'm heading to the party with Blaz, you can still come if you like?" She offers again with a tone that shows she's trying to not pressure me.

They invited me and Maple to a Nightmare Night party last game night, but we both declined. I shake my head, "You know those things don't interest me. Have fun though, and keep the drunk out of trouble." I turned her down again as I already had commitments.

She just laughs some and starts to walk away. "At least he can hold his cider. Have a good night, Shade, and try to have fun." She jokes before walking down the hallway and leaving me alone. I sigh a bit and Entropy chirps at me before rubbing her wing against my neck.

"Ok?" She asks me in her own unique way, making sure I'm fine. I smile at her and pet her a little before walking into my apartment. As soon as we're inside she pecks her band and turns off the illusion before flying over to her perch. She's really enjoying her band.

Today we spent some time shopping and in the park, normally that would mean she'd ride in my shadow before I cast an illusion over her somewhere discreet when we arrive where we're going. But she's able to do that part herself now, so she's just been riding me a lot more once again.

It's given her a larger freedom and now she can explore the same as she did when she was young, before she transformed. She can fly around buildings without me being nearby and as long as nopony touches her she could even go out on her own. She hasn't expressed a desire to do that but the fact she can is important.

The freedom she is finding once again is good for her, and it makes every bit of work to accomplish this worth it. She hasn't really taken it off, in fact I had to bribe her with some treats just to get her to let me inspect it for a few minutes this morning.

The band itself doesn't look all the different, I think it's a tad bit darker but it's really hard to actually tell. It is working as intended though and the shadow magic inside should last a very VERY long time. The band is mithril which is magical enough to have absorbed a lot of the shadow affinity magic.

The desired effect here is to just keep the shadow magic in the band as long as possible, so because it's not being used in some type of active effect it should last decades or more. For now, I've made her a box I keep in my room whenever she wants to take off the band to store it, mostly because I need to establish some boundaries with her. Not boundaries for her, but for me. This band is hers to do with as she wishes and I shouldn't have control over it unless I ask.

In the past, I kept control over it because she could lose it. Now that the problem is fixed, I want to show Entropy that it belongs to her. I want to teach her more about respecting others' property and respecting her own property, which is slow going but she at least knows the band is hers and no one can have it unless she agrees, even me.

I place the last of the groceries away in my cabinets and check the time. It's around an hour before sundown and I think I'll head to Gaia's Eden once it gets dark. I actually haven't been back there since last night, so I decided to just leave Celestia alone for the entire day.

I did have Entropy take me to Luna's garden earlier today to make sure everything is looking right and not out of order. It should be perfect for tonight, or maybe not my mind really can't decide if I fucked something up and didn't notice. I'll just have to bear with it until later.

I still have some time to kill so I make myself and Entropy an early dinner, I don't want to be hungry while helping Celestia, she'll need my full attention. Honestly, this time of year makes me feel like I should be doing so much more to help her, but in truth I already am.

The best thing I can do is to be with her until this situation improves and Luna returns, at least won't take more than a few years. After a meal with Entropy and a bit of drawing the view out my window, I watch the sun fall from the sky as darkness descends, the sun's light quickly fading away.

I have Entropy take me to Gaia's Eden right after that. I leave my saddlebags at home but decide to take my scarf with me as it looks like a cold night. When we arrive I'm greeted by the sounds of a distant piano slowly being played, a winding and slow melody.

I don't waste time and just walk through the thick snow over to her house. The inside is lit up with Solar Vines that stream a warm light through the windows into the darkness. I knock softly and the music sadly stops. "Come in." I push open the door to see an empty room, but I notice the door to her workroom is open.

I walk inside to see her working at her desk. "Shade, thank you for coming." She says softly while not turning from her work. I walk up to her side and stand on my hind legs to see what she's working on. I've filled a few orders for different wood types for her so I'm curious what she's been working on.

It's a small round disk of White Oak with an interesting symbol on it. A crescent moon overlapping with a blazing sun is beautifully carved from different colors of wood. Black Palm for the moon and Golden Oak for the sun, with paint added for color. "What is it?" I ask while turning to her face.

She looks like she's been crying at some point, but there is this odd mix of happiness mixed in as she stares at her work. "I don't know." I raise a brow at that. "I just wanted to make something, or maybe anything? In the end, this was the result." She picks it up looking a little lost.

I smile a bit. "I know that feeling all too well, the amount of times I've found myself drawing or making something only to stop myself realizing I don't even know what I'm making anymore." I look at it closer, the woodwork isn't the best but it shows a lot of love. "To draw for the sake of drawing. It's beautiful."

She lets out an almost hollow chuckle. "You and your odd words of wisdom. But you are right, to make it for the sake of it and nothing else." She places the disk of wood on a shelf above her desk. "It is rather pretty, isn't it? I wonder if she would like it?" She voices a question I could never answer.

She takes a deep breath. "No, I'm not sure she would. Or maybe that's just how she was by the end?" I can see her darker thoughts are peaking through and reach out to place a hoof on her side. She looks down at me with a few tears, "You know, in the end, I found it... Hard to forgive her." She says those words with some shame.

I rub her side a little more and let go. "It can be hard to forgive others, no matter how close you are with them. It takes time and effort, but how long it takes is unimportant to me. What matters is that you did forgive them." I try to give some advice to pull her out of that thought as it's clearly not helping her.

Celestia tries to smile a bit but fails mostly. "I- I still have doubts, fears. What if, I never see her again? Would she even know I forgave her? ... Would she forgive me?" Her tears fall more freely now and I'm not sure there is anything I could say to help.

So I just give her a hug, one she returns a moment later. "I don't have answers for you Celestia, nopony does. But, maybe you can get those answers yourself?" I try to hint at the fact Luna will return, without letting on that I know more than I should. "Either way, things WILL be ok."

She sniffs a bit and rubs her eyes with a foreleg. "I'm sorry, you don't need to be worrying over my fears." She apologizes to me for something she should never have to.

I try to lighten things and drag her out of this particular line of thought. "I am the last pony you need to say that to. Do you know how many times you've helped me with my fears? Because I sure don't." I say with a smile. She's been there for me and I will be here for her.

Her crying has slowed and she seems to have gotten more control over herself. "I suppose so, still it's not a weight you need to bear." She stands up and I follow her out of the workroom. "I don't think sitting here will do me much good. To the Castle? I am rather excited to see the garden again." She changes the subject abruptly and I drop it as well.

I pause as she turns to me. "If that's what you want then sure. Are you sure though? We can spend some time just talking or doing something else if you want to." I know what it's like to make snap decisions to avoid a topic so I give her an easy way to change her mind.

She looks a bit tempted but takes a deep breath and shakes her head. "No, I- If I did I wouldn't have the strength to go there." She admits slowly. I just nod silently and move to stand next to her while Entropy jumps onto my back again. She takes another breath before her horn flashes brightly.

I expected us to appear outside like the times before, but instead, we appeared right in front of the throne room doors. And quickly see the first of the small things I did, the wall next to the door is partly fixed. Before the wall had collapsed partly and a small pile of stone rubble was covering half the double door.

I used some of the larger stone brick chunks and put them back as best I could before binding them all together with tree roots that I grew and dried out. She notices it but just smirks a little and moves to open the doors to enter the throne room. She doesn't stop though, she stares at the throne but we leave the room down a side hallway quickly.

As we walk she stops to stare at a stone symbol carved into the wall. "Thank you, Shade." She says abruptly and I raise a brow as we continue to walk towards Luna's garden. "For giving me the strength to see this place again, year after year." I look a bit more confused at that.

"I'm not really sure I did anything there. You're the one with that strength, I just help by trying to listen and understand." I don't really know what to say to that and just throw out some kind and honest words.

She turns to look at me with a soft smile as we keep walking. "Exactly. I used to come here every few years, a decade or so between each visit." I keep my brow raised and she frowns. "I would sit in the throne room before crying and leaving, always the same. But you." She sheds a few tears, her happiness quickly being mixed with sadness.

I stay silent as we walk, every so often passing another part of the wall I slightly patched up to make the journey to the garden easier. "I wished to show you this place because you found it, and I... I didn't want to be alone here that year. And every year since we've come back, so often." She lets out a little sob.

She stops before entering the area with the garden to turn to me. "I saw the amazement you had when looking at this place that day and... It made me come back the next year. To see this place as more than just the pain it caused so long ago." She envelops me in a hug while continuing to cry softly. "Thank you so much."

I'm both speechless and shocked by that point. I never knew she didn't come here every year, but it seems my presence has done some more good than I thought. I hug her back, "And thank you for letting me help my friend. To let you not have to bear this pain alone." I try to use words that could mean as much to her as those words meant to me.

We sit embracing in silence for nearly a full minute before she backs off and is again more in control of herself. "Silly stallion, I'm thanking you not the other way around, stop being so nice." She jokes to hide some of her emotions and pain, or maybe to just distract herself from them. "Enough tears. Let's see what work of art you've made this time." She picks herself up and takes a deep breath before walking again.

I smiled and followed her content that she was able to stop crying again. A moment later we walk into the garden and she stops to sit and stare at it all. "It's perfect. Like every time before." She slowly says with a smile while looking over the crafted scene I made.

The tree at the center of the garden is no longer alone and to the sides, there are a few small Stardew Blossom Trees standing to fill some of the empty space that was there before. The new trees are also covered in Moon Glow Vines along with their glowing followers and leaves.

The walls are still covered in Star Moss but I've added to it by changing the color of the Star Moss from a green to a pitch black so the points of light look like actual stars. The stone walls around the area have all been fixed by moving back what would fit and growing it over with more Moon Glow Vines and Black Star Moss.

The stone pathways to either side of the garden now have a floor of Black Star Moss to make it look like you are walking in the night sky. The small Water Tree and the Night Poppies have been regrown and I've changed the color of the Night Poppies to be more than just their normal white.

A mix of deep blues makes up the petals of the flowers now. The grass that covers the floor has been changed to a very dark green which makes the glowing plants and the snow stand out much more to give some contrast.

The entire area is now well-lit enough to see easily and as a final touch, I made a bench at the base of the only tree that has stayed the same since the first year we came here. I smile and walk into the garden while Entropy hops to keep up with me, she's been following us from a slight distance this entire time as I asked her to earlier.

Celestia follows me a moment later and I sit on the bench. It's made from twisted roots with a cushion of regular moss. "Take a seat, I hope you don't think me adding the bench was too much. But I thought a garden needed a good place to sit." These are the main things I thought she might not like as it sort of breaks the pure nature theme of the garden.

She giggles and shakes her head while looking over the various plants. "Not in the least, in fact I think something similar was here before." She pauses at that while looking at a clump of Black Star Moss she brought over to look closely at. "Your abilities are truly amazing. How long did this take you?" She asks softly while getting comfortable on the large bench.

I can sense the mood is taking a good turn so I answer while hoping to keep her calm and more upbeat. "The planning and all the choices took a few days, a week at most. But the plants only took a few hours." I caught a falling cherry blossom. "You are right though, it is rather amazing."

We lapse into silence and she looks at the clump of moss again. I motion around us, "You know, I find great joy in creating new plants. These plants are more than just modifications, they are each a new species. They are the only members of their kind in the world." I pick something as a topic off the top of my head.

She smiles a bit and nods. "Yes, the ability to create new life... Does it ever scare you?" I look back at her. "The power to change so much, does it ever scare you?" She asks and I can see my efforts aren't really working to improve the mood. I sit for a moment thinking about that.

"Yes, in a way. But a few words come to mind, kindness will always be. No matter what happens to anypony, there will be kindness, and I think there is some beauty in that." I try to give advice but sort of fail. "No, that was shabby, I need better words, I'm losing my touch." I make a joke of it.

She keeps her small smile and giggles. "Maybe, but all words are useful to somepony somewhere." I chuckle as she outdoes me in my own game. She looks up to the moon hanging above us in the sky. "You never ask about her, even on this day, why?" She says abruptly.

She's doing better and is calmer than before, she's even making a few jokes now. I think on it for a moment, "She is, well, you know." I look at the moon. "Up there, because something was wrong?" I word it carefully, she gives me a nod the wipes away her small smile. "Then she can tell me herself when she gets better," I say with certainty.

She looks back at me surprised and I show her a confident smile. "You said something took control, but that doesn't mean it will be that way. It hurts you to talk about her, so she can tell me herself when she's back to normal." I word it vaguely but I mean every word.

She looks like she wants to cry again but keeps calm. "I, yes we can only hope so." She reacts with happiness and surprise. "She would tell you so many stories, she was always better at telling them than me." She takes a breath. "Dreams and the night, that was her domain. One she took pride in." She smiles again at the sky.

I take notice of her reaction. I never knew for sure if she knew that Luna would come back, but that seems like a decent confirmation. "Luna Lunae." I raise a brow as she says the name with some pain in her tone. But she chuckles a bit seeing my expression. "Her full name, and yes I'm serious. She doesn't really like that last name and she insisted on Lunith instead." She seems to think about that with both fondness and pain.

I find that interesting and make a mental note of it. "Why keep it then? She was a princess, just change your name." I ask the obvious.

This seems to amuse her a bit more. "She did and others forgot it. But she would get so annoyed when I used it, and she'd try to hide those little smiles from me." The more she talks the lower her tone gets as it all crashes into her again. "I miss those days, so, so long ago." She sighs heavily.

I stay silent and bring over a Night Poppy. "I'm young, I can hardly imagine life five years ago let alone centuries. I can't imagine your pain, but I understand it, I think." I pass the flower to her. "I have no advice to give, no good words to say. But I'm here to listen." I run out of words to say as the mood gets to me as well.

She smiles softly. "You don't need to say a thing, being here is more than enough." She pauses and takes a deep breath yet again, she's now holding up much better. "I never told you what I question when I'm alone, did I?" She asks about our last conversation and I shake my head. "What lies at the end? At the end of all what still remains? That is the question I ponder the most." She says while looking up to the sky again.

"Silence." She tilts her head to me a bit. "At the end, there is silence, and nothing else." From what I know of reality the universe enters a state of entropy, of silence. "Because what else would there be but silence?" I ask getting philosophical with her.

She looks up fully again. "Maybe, but silence is the opposite and it needs noise." Her tone is now steadier as she seems to have relaxed and taken her mind off darker things for the moment. "Can, you stay until I raise the sun?" She asks hesitantly.

I smile and look up at the stars with her. "To see a view like that again? I wouldn't miss it for the world." I agree immediately as the night grows deeper. "Thank you for showing me this place, it is amazing." I think of her again as we stare up silently.

She nods without looking at me. "And thank you for caring... How many of those stars can you name?" She asks.

I shrug. "Not many, a few constellations though." I don't know any of the stars by name but while drawing star maps I read up on a few constellations.

She points at one. "Then let's fix that. That one is the bull." I listen silently as she points out stars and constellations, while I feel happy at getting her comfortable enough to relax here of all places and listen intently as the night goes on.

Author's Note

Thanks for reading. :}
Current year is 995

I thought it would be more interesting for Celestia to talk about her fears more, not sure how I did with this chapter actually. I feel like it's a bit disjointed, but maybe that fits the mix of happiness and sadness that make up the mood.

Also, I thought I'd have a day or two until we hit 1k likes, you all decided to surprise me apparently and I wake up to us being ONE AWAY. IS what I was going to say! But then someone tipped the scales while I was editing this. You people are just the best.

I also just noticed this puts us at 700k words. What the fuck is happening today?!! Did I just use all my luck?!! I couldn't be more thrilled right now!! :D

I have nothing for this milestone sadly, so I'll just say it's a Q&A, ask whatever you like.

Thank you all, It means a lot seeing how far I've come in a year.