AUG 10 Friday.

I slowly sip my tea as I wait for my friend to arrive. I look up and out of the pavilion in Gaia's Eden, looking across the grass field to see Entropy and Philomena playing.

The past week has been a nice calm from my normal time at the hospital and a nice reward to myself for all my hard work. The past week has also given me time to reflect and think about the offer I was given. To be blunt I am conflicted about it for several reasons and spent some time researching things to help me decide.

I was able to get some books on how healers have historically been treated in modern times, and the general thoughts about them. Healers are like a lot of other medical professions, you don't notice or think about them too much unless you need one for something.

Healers are generally respected by Ponies but like anything else they need to make a name for themselves before others will really notice them. And the public at large will often not notice them, or at least they will notice them far less than somepony working in the medical field would.

As for me, well if I apprenticed under Master Clear Water it is unlikely many outside of the medical field will care all that much. Sure some will, but it would be a lot less attention than the last Gala and it is highly unlikely anypony would be stopping me in the street to talk to me.

I don't think I will draw much attention overall and I can prove that with a simple example. Me and several other testers, all pretty knowledgeable about healers, didn't notice the Master Healer sitting in the room with us for two days. And from what I've found healers are not known for their want of the spotlight.

Some stand out but most seem to just do their work and remain unknown to the public. I spent a year at this hospital and the only reason I bothered to learn Master Clear Waters's name was because I was interested in the profession. I think I won't stand out as much as I assumed.

At least not to the average Pony, however, I still stand out even more to those in the medical field. It's a trade-off but also some good cover, I'd be known as a healer but it would be very hard to tie me to my other identities. At least it's a better cover than being an elusive aspiring Spell Crafter who is totally not Veil Winter.

Splitting your focus like that would be stupid to most others and from an outside perspective most would assume I focused only on becoming a healer to get this far at my age. And while I am good at picking out mistakes in spells, there is a lot more to creating and inventing things than that.

On top of this, they are giving me an NDA. That's not foolproof but it covers my flank a lot and on top of that the hospital is very unlikely to push anything with me. They have a contract with Master Clear Water, and if she feels they don't respect her by digging into things she might just leave the hospital.

On the other hoof, I have my reservations about taking the offer. Learning not just how to heal others better, but learning from a master caster is great. She might see past some of my lies though, but that's a risk I'd have to take when learning from literally anypony at all.

The time loss is actually not that bad after I thought it over. A few hours every day for three days a week, the same amount of time I was already giving up on volunteering. I could use that time for my projects as a few of them could be done faster, but the difference would be only a week or two. And with four years left till canon, I have the spare time.

It's also not in their or any other hospital staff's best interest to blab about me. I checked the law on that actually as this entire industry is steeped in laws to protect spells and the ones who own them. Just about the only thing they can force me to tell them is what a spell I cast does to a patient, not even how, just what.

I can also very much sue them if any of that were to get out without my express permission. So I don't need to worry over theft or them messing with me, mostly cause I think they would gain little to nothing and lose a lot. Still, I also need to take into account the fact I'm not sure I even want to do this.

As it stands I'm legally allowed to heal most wounds, but nothing involving reattaching limbs or dealing with head trauma, along with a few other things, a big one being fatal wounds which is a list that covers several things. And while I can heal such things in an emergency, I am liable when doing so.

Advancing would solve this, but do I need that? I can heal almost anything as it is and if things are so bad I need to break the law regardless... Then again breaking the rules is a great way to have even more eyes digging into my secrets. It's a coin flip in between potential future problems.

Another thing I had to look through the information I was given to figure out, was sudden absences. I could still get called into the war at any time and that can be a problem. I am allowed to not show up for one week, but I know that I will be expected to explain why. After two weeks I'd get a warning, three, and the contract is voided.

It's a little strict but not unreasonably so for a Master Healer's time, it's not the most appealing though. Honestly, at this point, the NDA is a large reason why I'm hesitating. It might protect me but not really in the way I'd like it to, it's more centered around protecting information and while that is nice I would rather it be more specific.

That is some good news, if I void the contract not much actually happens, the NDA would still be in effect but I wouldn't need to pay them anything. I shuffle the papers and continue to look over them in uncertainty, putting them away a moment later to let my mind think about something else.

It's not an easy choice, but I can get advice and that's why I'm a little excited for Celestia's visit. Over the past few days, I've seen her around Gaia's Eden more and she sent me a letter to meet today. I pause that thought as the mare herself teleports into her house.

I stay where I am and wait, spending a moment to take off my saddlebags to be more comfortable. As I see her leave her home and start to walk over, the only thing on her is the necklace I made her. For a moment I'm reminded of the last Gala and the last time we met up. I shake those thoughts away. "Hello, have you been doing well?" I greet her happily as it is very nice to see her again.

She walks up with a smile and nods to me, the unspoken awkwardness there but distant. "I very much have been, although things have been rather busy. Sorry, it took so long to meet up again." She apologizes genuinely and I wave it off. "But all that is just paperwork, what have you been working on?" She asks while sitting down opposite of me.

I pass her a cup of tea. "Paperwork, and thinking about paperwork," I say honestly, getting a raised brow and an amused smirk from her. "Apparently I decided to take a test, and things went. Well?" I shrug and she just gives me a confused look. I smile knowing she will react as she always does when I accomplish something. That doesn't mean it won't be funny to watch. I take out a small box and pass it over silently.

She can tell I'm messing with her but takes the box anyway. "If this is a prank, I'm keeping whatever is in this box." She threatens, but I just laugh as she might be the only Pony in Equestria allowed to take my healer's license away. "Laugh all you like, I'm serious." She says smugly before opening the box.

She looks inside for a moment and blinks, taking out the metal card slowly as I start to really crack up. Her face is a mixture of surprise and confusion that morphs into joy and excitement a moment later. She beams and looks back at me, "You're a healer now?!!! Congratulations!!!" She says happily. "I am so proud!" Those words surprise me but I can't help feeling happy to hear them.

I should have seen it coming but the hug still envelops me quicker than I expected. I blush a little as the hug reminds me of several things, but I crush any response my body tries to have. She pulls back a moment later and smiles at me, before realizing my odd expression. I brush it off and enjoy the good mood instead of mentioning it, "Thanks, it was certainly something. If you don't count them noticing more than I hoped." I say, trying to distract myself from the previous thought.

She can see the awkwardness but nods and ignores it as well. Instead, she takes the card out and looks it over, "Because of course that is your concern. I should just make up some record you probably broke while getting this and put your name in a newspaper, it would make a good celebration gift." She jokes to move us away and to tease me a little.

I roll my eyes. "I would just move to the Dragon Lands for a while, at least they keep to themselves there. For the most part." I joke back and feel myself relax again. "Anyway, to answer the inevitable questions. I started preparing about five weeks ago, and it was more of a 'why not' kind of thing." I drop the joking tone and just start talking.

She still looks very happy and excited as she gives me the card and box back. "Oh yes, the inventor, worrier, friend to several forms of royalty. And then you add being a healer, because, why not?" I shrug and nod. She just starts laughing, "You really do fail to make any sense some days. I bet you were too humble and didn't tell anypony either?" She guesses before laughing harder as I stay silent. "You did?!"

I glare a little. "Hey! I was busy, with, things. Interesting things! And it took three days to test anyway, it's not exactly a long time." I defend myself as she just continues to laugh. "You know, I really don't think you should be laughing at the healer, it's generally a bad idea." I am trying to get her to stop laughing.

She does stop after several moments but just smiles widely. "Like you would not heal a Pony. That is the reason you did this, right? Or at least a part of it? To heal anypony you like?" I glare a little more as she once again guesses correctly. "Did you enjoy it? Healing others like this?" She quickly drops the teasing tone and asks happily.

I can't hold my glare and smile a bit and nod. "Yes, I did. It was nice to just get to heal others and see the results so quickly." I admit that I genuinely did enjoy patching others up and helping them. "Then they just had to repay me by making things complicated," I complain a little as the offer they gave me is still on my mind.

She raises a brow and I take out the contract I was reading before putting it back. "It's honestly not that big of a deal, and you have enough without my proble-" I try to move us past it quickly but before I finish she grabs the contract and starts reading it. "Really?"

She glares at the contract a bit, "I'm not letting somepony take any form of advantage over you." I raise a brow at her suddenly firm tone as she quickly goes through the contract. I just take out my chess set and set it up so we have something to do. I really should have seen this coming. "What do you think about this?" She asks as she moves the first piece on the board.

I shrug. "Conflicted? It's not bad, but also has a few problems for me. Secrets alone might be reason enough, but learning from a Master Healer..." I trail off and she nods, letting the silence sit for a while as she reads the papers. When she finishes she looks calm but focused. "Thoughts?" I ask slowly.

She passes it back to me. "It's not bad, I can see why you would be tempted. And good work, by the way, getting them this excited takes a lot." She smiles and I just shift not knowing how to ignore the compliment. "I do see one problem, the NDA." She flips through the papers to the page she is referring to.

"You will probably get some attention in the medical community, at least in Canterlot. But the NDA is a problem if you want to use what you learn." She explains and points to a line about inventors' rights. "You can modify and use anything you learn, but not share it in any way." She explains and I nod along.

"So I could make a great healing spell, and never be able to teach anypony else or release it?" She nods. "Hmm, I mean. For a lot of things I can probably find public alternatives, still..." I put away the contract as she moved another piece and took my rook. "Is there anything I could do about it?" I ask as this NDA is a fairly annoying problem.

She smiles and nods. "Get it modified or removed." I raise a brow and she chuckles. "You hold a fair bit of the leverage here, not a massive amount but it's there. Are you even interested in learning her secrets? Or just what she can teach you that is public but less known knowledge?" She questions and I have to think for a minute.

Not being able to use the knowledge gained is a big problem, mostly because it would be very hard to separate knowledge that is public and private. And I can't just ask when I need to find out and they sure as hell won't give me a list. The knowledge they have isn't too valuable to me though.

"I guess I don't really care. I can make anything they have with enough effort, so yes I'd be fine with just having a Master teach me what is public." She nods neutrally and I get the idea she has. "So, just have an NDA for personal secret stuff and give up on any private knowledge entirely?" I ask, it makes sense but seems like a way to make this entire thing less worth it.

She shrugs a little. "I can guess you want nothing to do with the politics involved." I nod quickly. "This would let you mostly stay out of it while still learning a lot, not as much as before, but a lot. It also leaves you free to do anything you want with what you learn. It shouldn't be hard to get them to agree either, as you are actively asking for less." She shares her wisdom on the matter.

Honestly, without the NDA getting in the way things would be more agreeable, but just removing it entirely is a bad idea in a different way altogether, a middle ground does seem best. "I guess my only other fear is being too involved. I will be noticed, but to what degree? I have a guess but you’d know better." I question both myself and her.

She gives me a knowing smile. "More and less than you think. As you will be exposed to those who might be envious or curious, most will likely not care though. You aren't even a permanent or hoof-picked apprentice, you're one offered to the Master from the hospital." I pause at that.

I never did know what Master Clear Water actually felt about all of this. "Good point, she might not even be that invested in teaching me. I could add that as a condition, meeting her first and seeing how she feels." Celestia fiddles with her necklace a little and nods approvingly. "I do need to be careful with what I make though, can't have them putting it together," I add as the thought pops up.

She gives me a reassuring look. "Getting them to keep your life private would actually be easy, it's not unheard of for healers to want their privacy. Sometimes for their own protection." She says levelly. "There is one very important question though, one you need to ask yourself. Why did you become a healer?" She asks gently.

I let that sink in, really thinking it through. "I thought it would be useful, and with my life affinity, it is doubly so. I also like just healing others, it's nice." I am honest as I've always enjoyed that part. "I guess it's also a reason I'm thinking about accepting, it would let me help more," I add.

She smiles softly at me and giggles. "You... You have helped more than some of the nobles that run the country, maybe more than many of them. And yet, you try to help more. What makes you so selfless?" I open my mouth as I am far from selfless but she raises a hoof, "You don't get to claim you aren't selfless after all the good you've done. That's the price." She insists with that same kind smile.

I sigh and just ignore that as it's a losing battle. She nods in satisfaction and continues. "If you get a better NDA, and meet the Master Healer, how about then? Sure you will reveal some things, but is that so bad? And even if somepony tries to connect you to Veil Winter, do what I've seen many times, just deny and wait." She says and I chuckle at the familiar statement.

She's not wrong, even if I am linked in some way I can deny it, and getting proof is going to be very hard for them. I do really like healing others, and with a few fewer restrictions in one place and a few more in another but still. It's not as unappealing but is it what I want? "I could try? I also could do all that before deciding. It's not like I can't back out." I reason as I'm still undecided.

I know to an extent she's trying to break me out of my mindset more, making me less paranoid. But she's not wrong, if I got just those two things I'd feel a lot better about everything. "Do you think I could find a way to distance myself from being Veil Winter? This is a bit close and if I can throw them off it would be nice."

That really is a main concern. If anypony connects the dots I can deny it, but if anypony gets proof I have much bigger problems. The changelings would definitely go looking and my friends would be in danger, not even to mention it would mess up my quiet life in a big way.

She again gives me a reassuring look, one that shows she is taking the idea seriously. "Yes, that would be a problem. An improved NDA would be nice, in fact, I'll make one myself for you to take with you. Or, I could have a talk with Healer Clear Water." I raise both brows and feel a little warm at the kind gesture.

A good NDA made by Celestia would be thorough and hard to get around, and that's without her name on it. If her name was on it for some reason then it might as well be LAW. "Wait? No, you really don't need to do that second one." I suddenly insist as I realize what she said. She raises a questioning brow, "Ok, yes it might work. But maybe don't drag her into, this." I say not really thinking of a better reason.

She looks unconvinced. "Hmm, I feel like she would be far more… Aware, of such an NDA if I did, very well. I'll just draft an NDA, but we need to go over details later, in a letter or when we talk next. I'll send two copies to you when we work it all out." I give her a thankful look as she continues, "As for Veil Winter? You could make a public appearance?" She suggests and I just about shut down from surprise.

I give her a 'what the fuck' look and she just smiles. "Hear me out. You could make a small but notable public appearance in disguise. Everypony looking for you would be completely thrown off of the trail, and if you look like a unicorn, I wish them good luck trying to narrow things down." She says and brings up some stupidly valid points.

It is against basically everything I have ever done, but she's not wrong. "Ok, that is... I'm not exactly small here you know? A unicorn this tall would raise some questions and while I can change my voice illusions can't shrink things." I try to come up with a few reasons.

She snorts at my words. "That's if you are disguising yourself." Her horn lights up and I blink, a moment later a smaller unicorn mare sitting in front of me. "Or did you forget that I had this spell? Because while you can't cast it, I can for you." She reasons smugly.

I stare blankly at the smaller mare for a moment before blushing a little and feeling pretty awkward. There is a long beat of silence before she nods slowly and undoes her spell, "Sorry. It's a little. So look. I kind of realized that your birthday might have come off, differently than intended." I start awkwardly.

Celestia just nods again after a moment, looking awkward as well, an expression I'm not used to seeing on her. "Yes, I realized much the same... I know you Shade, so to be blunt." She trails off a little and actually looks uncertain for a moment. "That was a lovely birthday party and a friendly day out, right?" She also is a bit awkward and looks down at the board as we keep playing.

I nod vigorously. "no! I mean, YES! It was just a nice day out, the same as with my other friends." I quickly stumble my words out and try not to blush in embarrassment. "You, ummm, what did you think it was?" I ask as the awkward tension lingers longer than either of us would like.

She nods quickly as well. "It was a lovely gift, I rarely go out, and even then not normally like that." She speaks a little quicker than needed but answers truthfully. Looking unreadably at me for a few moments. "Would you like to do something similar again? Or maybe not completely similar." I feel completely uncertain when hearing that, a mix of anticipation and wariness.

I take her agreement with me as the topic being settled and try not to be weird about it as it's now resolved. "Sure, we're always welcome back at the orphanage. There are also plenty of fun places, I think Blaz still goes to a game club. I was only there once though, I got involved in a chess tournament." I change the topic and she smiles more, returning us closer to the previous mood.

She smiles happily and also seems to ignore the previous topic. "Wait? You were in a chess tournament?" She asks amused and I nod. "By magic, every time I think I know about what you are up to. When did you even find the time in between your life and becoming a healer?" She questions as we fall back into our normal conversation.

I shake my head. "I feel like I mentioned this before. Or maybe I didn't? Hmm. Anyway, I didn't do this recently, this happened like four years ago?" She gives me a questioning look and chuckles. "Let me tell you the story of how I lost at chess, and got yelled at by some random stallion." That suddenly gets her undivided attention. "It was an odd day."

Author's Note

Thanks for reading. :D
Current year is 996

I am so tempted for the NDA to just be Celestia vaguely threatening and not so vaguely threatening Clear Water. I have a plan though. On that note this choice has gotten a lot of people more invested than I thought it would.

It has been an interesting conversation, and one that will probably continue as we get closer to him making a choice. Thank you all for your perspective on things. As for what he will pick? Who knows? I don't have a clue.

PS, see you all on Monday.