OCT 22 Monday.

I sigh and look over another of the sketches I made while on my last trip out of Canterlot.

It might have been a bit of a mess for a short time but it was fun and a nice break from my routine. Life goes on though and I've settled right back into things as is normal, I even hung out with Avalon a few days ago. He's doing about the same and has taken to his studies of magic more and more.

He's a good friend and we normally finish off our meeting by going to a cafe or a restaurant. He's made some progress with his fire magic but I was surprised to hear about his own personal project. It's nothing fancy but he's been trying to modify the Light spell Veil Winter made, something I find pretty ironic.

He's just trying to change the light's color but this is his first solo project into modifying a spell and he seems to be doing well from the notes he showed me. I offered to help but he declined, wanting to do this one on his own. I can respect the effort and dedication so I just worked with him on some spells and told him about what I've been up to.

He was pretty surprised to learn I was now a healer, but not overly so as like my other friends he knew I had a large interest in healing. Over the past two weeks, I've mostly done some work on the plants I brought back, as well as going about my regular training and the like.

The non-magical fruit was interesting but mostly unimportant, I added some of their seeds to my seed vault and also spent some time researching the Black Coal Fruit. It's a rarer fruit but is still common enough to just be pricey and not impossible to find. I do think its properties are interesting though.

The fruit helps the body filter out things from itself, and the effect seems partly magical in nature. It helps with just about anything in the body that shouldn't be there, from heavy metals to straight-up poison. It can even help the body with things like sickness and infections, but only to a small degree.

It's effect is small but I see a good amount of potential here. One part of its magical effect is that it can help clean the blood, not as much as other parts of the body but it's still very useful. And that is much more desirable when talking about Ponies who have a blood infection.

Sometimes an infection can spread into the blood and with the medicinal practices of Equestria that's normally a death sentence, even with a Master Healer your chances aren't very good. The fact that this fruit helps with that is well known but very rarely taken advantage of.

It's not the most common plant and while it can help, the magical effects of the fruit seem to fade to a large degree after a while and the effect is also relatively small. The fruit can last a week or two at most before becoming basically useless for this purpose, and that's where I come in. I want to make the fruit last a lot longer and have a much stronger effect than it does now.

I have a few things working in my favor for this. The plant may be magical but the effect is weak at the moment and that means it's much easier to change and manipulate the plant with my life magic. I've already planted a tree and am going to slowly be working on it for the time being.

Right now I mostly just want to make it last longer and then improve the effect itself, maybe also find a way to make it easier for others to grow and harvest it. The tree itself is a palm tree that has several large downfacing spines evenly placed around its trunk, each one being over a foot long on a fully grown tree.

I think this adaptation was used to defend against animals and the like that would climb the tree, but again I'm not the most knowledgeable about where the tree came from. I pause in my thoughts and look away from the Black Coal tree I planted next to my shack, glancing down at the seeds I'm still carrying with me.

These three large red seeds were the most confusing thing I've bought that day, by far. They are around a third the size of my hoof and are covered in wrinkles. Their crimson-red color stands out heavily and at this point, I've taken to stowing them in a box made from Golden Oak wood for their safety.

I've been dumping life magic into them very slowly, and I'm going slow because I nearly killed a seed by accident when I was too aggressive while first adding life magic to the seed. The magical flows inside of the seed are incredibly delicate, to a degree I have never seen in any other plant before.

The flows are also very simple, which makes me think they are so delicate because their life magic is so simple it can be disrupted easily. That's not the truly odd part though, their life magic flows are changing. When I first added some life magic I nearly killed a seed because when dumping the life magic in I overloaded the very simple flows of life magic, they seemed to be degraded and looked to be unwinding at the time.

Normally this is never a problem as the plants I work with handle the strain with no problem. Even normal plants can handle hundreds of times the life magic they have dumped into them, I've never even found a limit before. It was a complete shock to me to see the flows themselves seeming to unravel before my eyes, I was barely able to stabilize them with a large amount of effort.

The seeds were fine and after that, I tried to look into the seeds, but with only the seed's appearance, I didn't get very far and found nothing. After that, I took a far more measured approach and started by adding little bits of well-controlled life magic to the seeds, feeding them slowly.

I've also been keeping them in a Golden Oak wood box so that no stray life magic can damage them by accident. This is also where things got really odd, as I fed the seeds life magic slowly I had to wait a while each time so the magical flows of the seeds would stabilize again after being fed them again.

As this process repeated I expected the flows to get somewhat stronger and to absorb enough life magic to sprout and grow. Instead, the seeds started to grow their magical flows, increasing the amount of flows and their complexity. It makes no fucking sense to me.

The only time I've seen a plant change its magical flows is when the plant itself changes, but these are just seeds I'm feeding life magic and they are changing on their own. The good news is that this is very slowly making the magical flows more stable as they grow more complex, which lets me feed them more life magic more often.

The flows are still incredibly weak at the moment and I'm taking the time to document all the changes every day. I've also come up with a few theories as to what's going on, but it's all still really vague. My first theory is simple, the plant has the ability to adapt itself in some way, what form this takes or what it even is adapting to is completely unknown.

The seeds all have the same magical flows though, and they are all changing in the same way. I don't know if that means they are adapting to the same thing, or just recovering from the same thing. That's my second theory, the seeds put themselves into such a state of weakness.

The more complex the magical flows of a plant the more life magic it needs to stay alive, it's not a perfect or complete rule but it's a good rough rule to go by. If the seeds couldn't grow or gather enough life magic they might have basically broken down the more complex parts of their magical flows to go into a form of stasis.

Again these are both just theories and I've never even seen something like this before, so I'm just speculating at best. I put the box with the seeds in it back on a shelf in my shack and look at the time, I'm still early but I guess I can go now. Today I have a meeting with Celestia, and this time I'll be visiting the palace instead of her coming here.

She didn't say why we would be doing it this way, I think it's probably just work-related. I've heard her say she often has some free time but not enough that she can just leave the palace. I look through my saddlebags for a moment to check a few things and whistle out to Entropy.

I raise a brow as she doesn't come over. I can feel her presence by her life magic and I know she's sleeping in some shadow inside my shack. I have to focus for a moment to find the exact one and when I do I find she's sleeping in the shadow of my bed. "Hey Girl? Mind waking up?" I ask with a somewhat loud voice.

I nearly call out again but then I notice her form sitting in the shadow, awake but still quiet. I feel a bit concerned as she leaves the shadow, still silent. "You ok Girl?" I ask as I lay down with concern in my tone. She looks up at me and trills a bit before walking over. "Want to talk about it?" I can tell something is bothering her.

She looks fine but also seems to be thinking about something fairly hard. "I ok. Love you." She caws softly and moves over to sit on one of my forelegs as I lay on the wooden floor. "Worry." She admits and I raise a brow. "Always danger, I never help." She caws out in a low tone.

I go through my mind for a moment and think about the last week. I've caught her helping me with small things more often than normal recently, I thought she was just being nice. It seems she's been trying to help more because of something else though.

I smile widely and give her an understanding look. I've been in trouble many times and she's never really been involved, mostly because I don't want her to be. "Entropy, you've helped more than you can imagine." I comfort her with a firm but caring tone.

She looks up, almost confused by my statement. "I think, if it was just me going through all this, I would have broken at some point." I am honest and maybe a little too blunt. "You do something far more important than protecting me or helping me move places. You make me happy." I pull her closer to my chest and hug her a little.

She slowly wraps her wings around me and I keep my smile, while she bobs her head as we pull back. "Promise?" I nod firmly and she chirps a bit. She jumps on my back and whatever she was dealing with seemed to have faded a little. "No more sad, not help. Go see fire friends?" She seems to try and push her worries to the side and move past the topic.

I could insist on her talking about it, but I would be a pretty big hypocrite if I did that. I can't count the number of times I've pushed my emotions to the side and just moved past them. I nod slowly and give her a caring stare, "If that's what you want. We can stay and talk as well? Up to you." I make the offer but don't pressure her.

She shakes her head after a few moments. "No, don't want to sad. Fire friends make happy. I make happy." She insists on the last part and I can't help but smile more at her. "Good, work already." She says with a more upbeat tone. I chuckle a little at that.

"Ok, let's go see our friends. But, if or when you want to talk. Please do." I say with pleading eyes. I can't have my friend feeling like this, not if I can help it. I can also understand where she is coming from, at least to a degree. Beyond travel she doesn't really help me with anything, I should find something for her to do that could let her feel involved.

She bobs her head more enthusiastically and we both vanish a second later. I see her activate her illusion as we reappear inside the mailroom at the palace. I choose to ignore the box of letters left in the room for now, I'll come back for them later, I don't feel like reading fan mail right now.

I still get a good amount of fan mail every two weeks delivered to me by either Entropy or Philomena. I've collected a few hundred over time and stored them as they are actually kind letters, the rest are decomposed. Although not as many Ponies send me mail anymore.

Over the years it's lessened as I rarely if ever respond and it's well known that Veil Winter is basically a recluse. I walk out into the hallway and find no guard waiting for me, which is fine as I'm early. I just started walking through the hallways on a familiar path I remember.

With my visits and efforts, I can somewhat find my way around the palace now, although the only reason I know where to go right now is because I can sense Celestia's location. She's in her office and it seems Cadance is also with her at the moment. I do get a few stares from the staff but nopony stops or questions me as I walk around, in fact several smile at me and talk quietly to others when I pass by.

The rumor mill is truly the only thing that will outlast every society to ever exist. As I near her office I nod to the two guards outside the room and they nod back, letting me move to the door and knock. "Come in?" I hear Celestia's voice sound out, sounding a tad bit confused.

I open the door and walk in quickly, closing it behind me before turning to the two surprised mares. Cadance is on the large couch and Celestia is behind her desk like she often is, looking over some documents with her glasses on. "Hey, sorry I came a bit early, I can sit in a corner until I'm needed." I offer in greeting.

They both give me large smiles and Celestia giggles a bit, but I can tell it's muted and her heart isn't really in it. "Hello Shade, thank you for coming. I just need to go through a few more forms. I'm sure Cadance can entertain you until then." She jokes back, but again there is something lacking in her tone.

Entropy takes the moment to fly up with a happy chirp to sit next to Philomena on her perch. Cadance nods to me in greeting, "Well now, coming early just to spend more time here." She starts teasing me like normal and I can tell she's also trying to keep the mood light for Celestia.

I roll my eyes and decide to sit on the floor, finding the carpet to be just as comfortable as always. "Shhhhh." She gives me a challenging look. I just smile back, "I'm in a good mood, I don't need you making me all embarrassed. I got to mess around with some new plants and I'm too happy for it today." I make a slight joke of it but I am also serious.

She raises a brow and actually nods, which causes me to look a little confused. "Hey, you are fun to tease, but your work is too important to ruin. So what madness are you working on this time? A plant to cure every sickness?" She questions, sounding genuinely curious about it.

I'm pleasantly surprised she agreed, but I know her well enough to tell that she will just be more blunt and opportunistic with her teasing. "Wow, never thought I'd see the day you showed some restraint." I jab back. "No? I guess. I just started on a plant, but I'm also looking into Metal Manipulation spells." I reveal while leaving out a few other projects as those aren't for the public.

She tilts her head and thinks about that. "Truly riveting detail. Better metal working spells? Seems good, metal prices already took a small hit with that heat spell so bringing them down more wouldn't be bad. As long as we can get the blacksmiths guilds to sit down and not complain, or ignore them." She shares her own knowledge and I nod having expected something like that. "So, what are you actually working on?" She asks in a knowing tone.

I think for a moment and smile before quickly casting a spell on myself, and a second later she blinks and looks around the room, failing to find my now invisible form. I cancel the spell and she whistles a little, "Invisibility spell, I'll have to watch out for that. I'm just going to guess it's one you made and it's a massive improvement over other Invisibility spells?" She again uses a knowing tone.

I feel a bit bashful at the expectation but nod slowly, causing her to laugh. "I did get the runes from Celestia, so it's not all my work." She gives me a very unconvinced look. "Anyway, what have you been working on? More diplomacy? I hope so because I don't want to be doing more paperwork than you." She raises a brow. "Hospital paperwork, half as annoying and twice as bloody." I let some of my more dark humor out for a moment.

She shakes her head and scrunches her muzzle. "UGH, bad image." I chuckle at her reaction. "Yes, I am. A few smaller Griffons city-states to be exact, are going well enough and we should once again see more trade. Courtesy of a stallion who can't seem to stop working." She glares at me a little. "So what's apprenticing like? And no, don't give me details."

I laugh again at that and glance over to see Entropy preening Philomena while Celestia continues her work and silently listens to us with a small smile. "Not bad. It's mostly easy things for now and learning a lot of things I missed. I'm also making a list of healing spells to improve sometime in the future, that's a while out though."

She nods and pauses for a moment as there is a small chiming noise. "Well, that's my reminder that I have a meeting with a Griffon ambassador, and an annoying one at that. Take care of her, and make her smile." She says to me with a large smirk as she quickly stands up and happily walks out of the room, leaving me blushing a little.

I shake my head and turn to see Celestia smile a little larger, probably enjoying me being a bit embarrassed. I sit in silence for a few moments and move to the couch. After a minute Entropy flies down to me, "Can I go home?" I smile at the proper use of a full sentence, even if it's a simple one, along with her improved mood.

I shrug. "Sure, you want to get some toys huh?" She nods and I think for a second. "How about you both just go there?" She tilts her head. "I'll ask Celestia to take me home, you two can go play." I glance over to Celestia and she nods while not looking over from her paperwork. "Thank you. Now off you go." I thank Celestia and turn back to Entropy with a smile.

She caws happily and flies up to Philomena for a moment before vanishing, Philomena following her a few seconds later. After they leave I look over to a few of the shelves in the office, mostly containing books. I spot my little spinning planet along with its stand on a shelf. I reach out with my space magic and bring over a book that looks interesting before opening it.

As I read I settle into the comfortable silence, listening to the scratching quill on paper as Celestia works and the distant sounds of the palace and its staff. It stretches on more and more as we both get lost in what we are doing, occasionally glancing at the other as if to make sure we are still here.

Eventually, she takes off her glasses and looks up at me, me looking back as she smiles softly. "I don't think I've ever told you what I first thought of you when we originally met." I find the topic choice interesting but nod as while I've told her my thoughts on her she hasn't yet shared hers.

She places her glasses in a case and looks at the blank wall behind me for a second. "I thought it was so odd that you were so mature, I also thought that you made no sense. A random little Colt that could get fame and fortune with no effort, and that's with just your life affinity. And yet you chose... This." she motions to me. "Why?"

I think we've talked about similar things before, but it's clear she's in an odd mood so I just answer after a little time thinking. "Fear. I always wanted to help, anypony really, but fear held me back. So I picked a quiet little job, something nopony really pays attention to, a librarian." I am completely honest, but leave things out.

She can tell I am leaving things out, but she doesn't question or interrupt me. "I'm not sure when the idea of helping while unseen came to mind, but I liked it. It was a good compromise with myself and something I could actually achieve. Finding out how to do that was proving hard at the time though. So I started out small, a gift to the mare who kept everything running." I smiled slightly at the memory of my life at the time.

She smiles more and nods. "I can't say there is no logic to it. I can say it wasn't looking to be a very long-term secret, well as long as you did it alone that is." I nod as she is right that things would be widely different if I never got into contact with her. "Is that how you saw me? A ruler who kept things together?"

I can't quite place her tone but I let that question roll around my head a bit. "Maybe? At least somewhat, and I still do to a degree. But I also saw you as the Pony who knows better, one who could deal with more than just an emergency, but also a crisis." If things really went down she is beyond a doubt the best bet until Luna and the main six are a thing. "Things are never so simple though, and I know you are far from all-powerful," I add as I don't want to sound like I think that now.

Back then I do think I still had her on some form of pedestal, maybe from the show or maybe from living with Ponies for so long, I don't know. Now though I am more than aware she is just a mare and a Pony like the rest of us. She keeps her smile and stays silent for a second, before standing and turning to look out of the large round glass window.

The silence lasts nearly a minute but I don't break it, I give her all the time she needs. "I- ... I miss my sister." The statement has a weight to it I can't put into words, a weight I myself can't really imagine. "Do you think she would ever forgive me? Why always that question?" The words are almost a whisper and sound so... Something.

Unlike the last time she asked me this time she seems less emotional, or at least more composed for now. "In the end, when... All that happened, did you still see her as her? Was she still your, sister?" I ask gently, trying not to upset her but knowing that it shouldn't really be avoided.

She looks out the window, looking over the snow-covered gardens with a face that seems almost numb, before letting out a few stray tears and taking a deep shuddering breath to calm herself. "Yes. Even then, I- I still saw my little sister in..." She stops abruptly and takes several deep breaths.

I give her a minute to calm down, letting her breathing grow more steady before speaking. "Then yes, I think she would. I don't know much about family, but I hear all the... Pain, in your voice. And I think she would too." I try to share some reasoning, but this is far from anything I really know. "I think on that day, the world might just be very kind," I say as more of a hope than anything else.

She takes another deep breath, wiping her face with her foreleg and despite it all still wearing a small smile. "What makes you so willing to help this old mare?" She chuckles dryly without any real humor, I don't answer as she doesn't seem to need one. "Why is the world like this? What's the point?" She mumbles more to herself than me.

I shrug as she turns back and sits at her desk again, looking tired and drained. "I like to think there is no reason at all." I am honest and she looks up from her desk confused. "If there is an answer to that question, it means that the answer is no longer ours to make. I'd much rather find my own answer, or just live without one at all." I am more philosophical to try and distract her, obviously trying to move away from the previous topic.

She looks thoughtful at that and again chuckles, this time it sounds more real but just as tired. "I can always count on you to have the most interesting answers. Why did you start being philosophical with me? I know you like it but why did you start?" She asks and I'm glad to move us away from the topic as well.

I smile brightly. "It makes you happy." I am blunt. Sure I enjoy it as well, but not as much as she does. She blinks and looks a little taken aback. "I can't know all of your life, but it seems a bit lonely. And sometimes all a lowly Pony needs is just somepony to show a little interest in what they like. You make so many lives brighter, I might as well try and do the same for you."

That earns me a larger smile, the mood still low but not as depressing as before. "Because that's who you are in the end. That's all it really takes for you to help another." She adds and looks, simply grateful. "Thank you, for making it all just a bit, brighter." She says with a heavy and genuine tone.

I don't really know what to say to that, so I nod and let things fall back into silence. "Tell me about something, please?" I raise a brow at her request. "Anything, I need... Something, I don't want to think about this right now, I don't want things so, silent." She asks almost pleadingly while her ears pin back.

I nod and don't hesitate. "Well, I can make you worried over my health if that's a good distraction?" Her ears jump up but my tone is light and she just looks more focused. "I took a small two-day trip to Rain River city, if you've heard of it. It's a lovely place, even in the winter." I start to talk just to keep her mind off of the obvious.

She huffs and lets out an actually amused chuckle. "Yes, I think that will work. And yes I know of it, I even visited a rare few occasions. What trouble did you get in now? And if I hear about you not telling a guard when you should have, I will ground you here." She seems serious but I can't bring myself to mind when it's distracting her.

I shrug. "Maybe? It sort of resolved itself?" I scratch my neck and take out my sketchbook so she can look over my new drawings. "Entropy got me there, and on the second day, I went shopping. And then the Pony running the shop pulled a blunt knife on me, like no edge to the blade at all." She raises a brow and I shrug. "No idea honestly. Maybe enchanted? I saw gems on it though."

"He was sleeping when I walked in and woke up before noticing me, I think he used something to detect me as he didn't see me. Anyway, he pointed his knife at me and demanded to know who I was and who I worked for." I continue and she grows more confused. "After taking the dagger away and calming him down he was apologetic and even offered a discount. Apparently, he had bad dreams and reacted badly. I just got out after that." I show a look that is just as confused as her.

She looks off for a moment and sighs. "That is odd... Did he explain anything else?" I shake my head. "I'll ask more later, but maybe somepony should check on him." She says with worry. I think she's focusing on this to cover up her own thoughts. "On a related topic, Rain River is very far away. How many teleports did it take Entropy? I assume you have stopping points along the way?" She changes the subject quickly.

I shake my head. "One actually, a straight shot there in a second flat." Celestia looks shocked and I smile. "The distance is still increasing as well, maybe I'll be able to make day trips to the Dragon Lands in a few years? It would be nice to buy large gems." I add as a way to further distract her.

She looks down at the sketchbook as I pass it over to her, flipping through the pages slowly. "Considering her age that is beyond impressive, she might even have you beat on this one." She jokes a bit and I chuckle. She looks over a few of the drawings with tired eyes. "Tell me about it."

I tilt my head and ears a little to the side, as she once again seems to shift to a dim mood once again. "Your trip. All the little details, all the little things. The food, the weather. I just want to hear about it, would you?" She asks, sounding interested and even a little excited, but all of it is overshadowed by the tired sadness.

I smile back and give her a reassuring look. "Of course."

Author's Note

Thanks for reading. :D
Current year is 996

So, first. I thought that Entropy could use some slight character development, just small things really. Any idea for something the birb could help with to feel helpful?

Next. Sad Celestia is interesting Celestia. I wanted to show her sad, and more open with Shade. Not just open when she's at her lowest, but also when they are simply meeting, I don't think I'll do it too much though. Sad Celestia must be used responsibly after all.

And finally. 300, just wow. I have no words, but I might later. I will say it's been a silly and fun ride, thank you all for joining me on it so far.