It's Not What You Think It Is! (The Secret in Twilight Sparkle's Pants)

by Mockingbirb

Rating: teen
Tags: Equestria Girls, Sex, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1435

When Twilight Sparkle returns from visiting the human world, she insists on wearing trousers. For some reason.

When Twilight Sparkle returns from visiting the human world, she insists on wearing trousers. For some reason.

Spoiler: This is probably a shitfic.

Cover image credit: S. coaxed computer software to make this (probably Pony Diffusion.)

Published 2024-02-02 06:20:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-02-02 06:20:00 UTC

Trouser Pony

When Rarity encountered her friend in Ponyville's morning market, the fashionista stared. "Twilight?"

"Yes, it's me!" the princess agreed with a cheerful smile. "Who did you think it was?"

"You...seem have a new look."

"Oh?" the princess said. "Oh! I suppose you mean my new trousers."

"Yes," Rarity agreed. She stepped sideways, to let another shopper pass. "I mean the trousers."

"It turns out," Twilight explained, "that if I buy a pair of trousers in the human world, and put them on before I come back through the Mirror Portal to Equestria, I get to keep a pair of trousers that fit me as a pony! Isn't that interesting?"

Rarity said faintly, "Certainly. I...never even knew you wanted trousers."

"Oh, I'm just wearing them because of the other thing I came back with from the human world."

"The other thing...?" Rarity's practiced eye studied the cut and fit of Twilight's garment. Was there a...bulge? And not where Rarity would normally expect a bulge, either.

"The other thing!" Twilight agreed sunnily. The princess whispered, "I don't want to show it to everypony, though. At least not yet. I think ponies might...react strangely, if they see it without expecting it. I want ponies to be properly prepared first."

Rarity pulled Twilight aside, apart from other ponies. "Twilight? Just how much preparation do you think ponies will need?"

"Oh, I'm sure a calm and fashion-forward pony like yourself will have no trouble accepting it at all. But some ponies...anything new bothers them. Disturbs them, even."

Rarity puzzled over this explanation that was hardly an explanation at all. She looked away from Twilight, as she pondered just how to ask for specifics.

When Rarity looked back, Twilight was gone.

***

Fluttershy was outside her cottage, feeding birds, when Twilight Sparkle arrived.

"Hello, Twilight."

"Hi, Fluttershy. I'm having a special gathering at the castle this evening for my five best friends, no other ponies invited."

Fluttershy blinked. "You're wearing pants."

"It just seems more convenient to dress this way," Twilight said, "considering what happened when I visited the human world. It's so very interesting!"

"It is?"

"Yes, it certainly is! It's the most exciting thing that's happened to me in months!"

"It is?" Fluttershy said, hoping Twilight would elaborate.

"Yes! It's so much fun! I wish I could have had one before. But the only way I know to get one of these is to go through the Mirror Portal."

"What did you get?"

"I'll have to show you this evening. You'll be there, won't you? Pretty please?"

"Um...certainly I will. I mean, if you think it's a good idea for me to see it."

Twilight hugged Fluttershy. "I think you'll get a lot of use out of it. See you at sundown!"

The princess released Fluttershy, and trotted away towards central Ponyville.

"Huh," Fluttershy said. "It's such nice weather. Why would Twilight be wearing clothes?"

***

"Rainbow!" Twilight shouted up at the pegasus' cloudominium.

"What?" a sleepy-sounding voice shouted back down.

"Come to my castle at sundown! I'm having a party and it's going to be awesome!"

"Um...sure. Whatever."

"See you there!"

***

In Sugarcube Corner Bakery, Twilight leaned on the counter as Pinkie stirred dough behind it. "When I visited the human world, I came back with something really fun! I want you to see it this evening."

Pinkie said, "What kind of fun?"

"Well...it's kind of hard to explain, unless you see it for yourself. I'm inviting you and my other five best friends to the castle for a little get-together, so I can explain it properly and show it off. I'll even let you all play with it, if you want to!"

"It's something you can play with?" Pinkie asked.

"Sure! You can play lots of different fun games with it."

"Well...if you can use it to play party games..."

"Yes," Twilight said, "if you all take turns. I don't think all five of you could play with it at once. I mean, it's not THAT big. Anyway, see you at sundown!"

"Sure! See you then!"

***

A small dragon walked through an orchard, taking a shortcut through Apple Acres to the Apple Family's farmhouse. He rapped on the door with his knuckles.

A moment later, the door opened. "Morning, Spike!" a grinning earth pony mare said. "What brings you out so early?"

Spike held out an envelope, sealed with a hoofprint sticker. "Twilight asked me to bring you this. She's delivering the other invitations herself."

Applejack started to tear the envelope open with a hoof and her teeth. She released her mouthgrip. "Is this...private? Ah mean, can Ah read it in front of you? Also, should Ah send a reply back with you?"

Spike shrugged. "She told me she's only inviting you and the other five Bearers, so I guess maybe it's a private party, in a way. But you can read the letter in front of me. I already know all about it."

Applejack finished tearing the envelope open, and read the note inside. "Today at sundown, eh?" She did a bit of mental calculation. "Ah reckon Ah can get all my farm chores done in time. Tell her Ah'll be there."

"She'll be glad to hear it. I mean, she's SO excited to show you girls. Well, I've got to hurry. Twilight needs help catching up on the government work she wasn't doing while she was on the other side of the Mirror Portal."

Spike turned around and started trudging back towards Ponyville.

Applejack went back inside, closing the door. But a moment later the door reopened, and the farmpony looked outside, towards the direction he'd gone. "To show us what?" she wondered.

A moment later, she said, "Ah'm sure we'll find out when the time comes." The door closed again, and Applejack returned to her morning routine.

***

That evening, five ponies gathered in the castle's Cutie Map room. The Cutie Map was serving as a table, half covered with various snacks Spike had made.

Pinkie looked around suspiciously, peeking under the table and behind chairs. "Wheeeerrrrre's Spike?" she inquired.

Twilight shrugged. "Spike's already seen it. He's off playing a bit of O&O with Big Mac and Discord."

"Twilight?" Fluttershy asked. "I don't want to be nosy...but why have you been wearing clothes every time I've seen you today?"

Twilight shrugged. "I think it's easier if I keep it in my pants. The fabric helps keep it properly protected. I wouldn't want it to get scratched."

Fluttershy nodded, shyly trying to sneak inconspicuous glances at Twilight's crotch.

"Or broken," Twilight added.

"What?" Rarity gasped. "Just WHAT do you think would HAPPEN to it? I mean..." She paused. "Do you really think..."

Twilight smiled. "Let me show you! Oh, we're going to have so much fun with it! I think each of you is going to really enjoy this, each in your own way!"

A magical glow surrounded Twilight's horn. She grunted slightly. "Sorry, it's kind of a tight fit." She grunted again, followed by the sound of ripping fabric.

"Oops," Twilight winced. "But at least I can show you now."

A rectangular object, just a little larger than a hoofprint, floated out from behind Twilight and landed on the table. "It's my new cellphone!" Twilight announced. "In the human world these are used as communication tools. But even here, where we don't have a mobile network, or at least we don't have one yet, this is STILL a powerful computing device and general information appliance that fits in a trouser pocket!"

"Oh!" Rarity said. "THAT'S why you've been wearing trousers."

"Naturally. I suppose I could carry my new phone in a pair of saddlebags, but that seems like a lot of luggage to hold just the one thing."

Pinkie eyed the new device. "Wowzers! So what all can you do with it?"

"Let me show you some of the apps," Twilight said.

***

It wasn't until an hour later that Rainbow Dash asked to borrow a ruler, and measured the device in each and every direction. "Huh," she said. "It's smaller than most of us expected."

"What?" Twilight asked.

"Nothing. I guess it really CAN fit in a pants pocket."

***

It wasn't until the next day, when all five party guests met discreetly at Rarity's dress shop, that they settled up on the 'guess how big Twilight's new thingy is' betting pool.

As it happened, most of the mares had picked VERY high numbers, so Pinkie had won with the giggling guess she'd made the previous afternoon: "I don't think Twilight even HAS a penis! I guess zero!"