Tide and Effect

The stallion levitated the sandwich plate above his head as he knocked on his daughter's door. The food was just a kind of entrance fee in order to let him in and let him talk to her.

"Starlight? I brought you a snack." He said through the door.

The mare sighed as she turned the page, trying to ignore him. After a long pause Firelight spoke again.

"I wanted to talk to you about something." He said timidly.

Starlight sighed again as she put down the book and allowed her father entrance. The doorknob glowed as it turned gently, the stallion prancing into the room.

"It's your favorite, ham and cheese! I figured you haven't eaten anything toda- woah!" Firelight said, interrupted by the scene before him
All along Starlight's bed, plastered on the walls and stacked on the floor were books, papers and scrolls messily strewn around the room. "...what's all this?"

"Thanks for the sandwich, dad. And this… is everything everypony knows about cutie marks. That I've been able to find" Starlight said.

Firelight put the sandwich plate down on the end table as he looked over the mess.

"I see you've been giving the Sire Hollow librarians a run for their money." He said exasperatedly.

"Listen, I know what you want to talk to me about. I'm an adult. I'm still a blank flank, it's time to move out." Starlight said, putting words in her father's mouth. "...but listen, I've tried magic, I've tried music, I've tried kites, I've tried everything. If there's a way I can get a cutie mark I'm gonna find it."

"I mean, that's great but. Honey I think you're obsessing just a bit" Firelight said, Trying to calm his daughter from her seemingly manic, sleep deprived state.

"But what if obsessing about cutie marks IS my cutie mark? I don't know and I have no way to know. There's not really a pattern, it seems so random. How is fate random?" The mare said, chewing on her pencil thoughtfully.

"Glimmy, when's the last time you went outside, or saw your friend Sunburst? He's at a magic school. I bet you he could tell you about cutie marks. I'm so sorry this is such a problem for you." Firelight said.

"I don't wanna talk to Sunburst. Are you just saying that cuz you like his mom? That's gross, dad" Starlight criticized.

The stallion blushed and looked away, stuttering half-heartedly.

"N-no. I don't like her. Look, the point is you need to get out of the house and connect with other ponies. I mean, no wonder you're not contributing if you're cooped up like this all the time."

"Contributing? What do you mean by that? What, just because I'm a blank flank I'm not contributing? I'm an adult, I do the work I need to." Starlight said angrily, her father having struck a nerve. Firelight backed off and sighed to himself.

"Listen, just enjoy your sandwich honey. We can talk about this later, I've got to go anyway. Just try to get out of the house today, ok?" He said.

Starlight scoffed and went back to reading as her father left. It was true, she hadn't left the house in a while, but that's because she had been reading about cutie marks. All the books she had read referenced an "Anthology of Cutie Mark Magic" in the Canterlot Royal Library. Which seemingly contained far more information about the nature of cutie marks. She pondered the fact that Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns was nearby to the library and realized reconnecting with her friend Sunburst may not be such a bad idea. She then wrote him a letter detailing her plan to meet him there to reconnect, before getting a train ticket up to Canterlot.

Firelight was sure to send Starlight off with a platter of freshly-baked teacakes as she got on the train.

"Dad, these are bulky and awkward…" Starlight said, as she embarrassedly took the platter from him, looking around to see the other ponies staring at her.

"Well then just eat them as soon as you sit down!" Firelight yelled over the sound of the train whistle

"I can't eat all of these!" Starlight said, her hoof running over the plastic wrap her dad had put on them to keep the frosting safe.

"So then share! Who knows you might even make a friend!" The stallion said, winking as the doors opened.

"Fine. I won't be long. I love you dad!" Starlight called out as she got on the train, barely fitting the platter between the narrow doorway.

"I love you too chipmunk cheeks! Don't forget to write-" Firelight said as the door closed behind him, muffling him.

The train was cramped and hot, tons of ponies stacked on top of each other. There were stops in Appleoosa and Ponyville on the way to Canterlot so Starlight guessed most of them were packed in for those places. She sighed as she made her way to a window seat while the train began to lurch forward. Starlight hoped it would empty out by the first couple stops. Much to her chagrin, an excitable pink unicorn sat down right next to her as she tightly clutched her platter, the train picking up speed.

"Woah! Are those Teacakes?" The unicorn said, putting her hair up with a hair tie as she sat down.

"They are. Do you want one?" Starlight said politely.

"Don't mind if I do, thank you!" The unicorn said, pulling the wrapping back to grab a teacake and eating it whole in one bite. She expressed approval at the taste.

"These are good! Did you make these?" She said.

"No, they were a gift from my dad." Starlight said, disliking the small talk as the unicorn popped another teacake into her mouth.

"Gosh well, tell your dad that he better calm down or I'll be out of a job, hehe!" The unicorn said, blushing. Starlight laughed weakly, more confused by that statement than anything. She pondered it for a moment before her companion extended her hoof in greeting.

"Sugar Belle, I'm a baker, it's nice to meet you!" The pink unicorn said. Starlight awkwardly bent her leg to try to meet for a hoof-shake.

"Starlight. Starlight Glimmer. I uh.. I read."

"Huh. Well that's.. interesting." Sugar Belle said, glancing down at Starlight's blank flank. Starlight ashamedly covered it with her tail, turning towards the window. She sulked in silence for a while.

"Hey so where are you headed?" Sugar asked, trying to break the silence with yet more small talk.

"I'm headed to Canterlot, to the Royal Library." Starlight said, annoyed.

"Oh, wow I've always wanted to go there. I bet if you looked hard enough you could find Meadowbrooks Cookbook. That's at least what I would check out." She said excitedly. Starlight wasn't aware that Mage Meadowbrook had published a cookbook. She smiled. Her dad would like that.

"I'm headed to Ponyville for some baking lessons. Gotta get better at it the only way you know how. Practice." Sugar Belle continued.

"Oh well, that's good!" Starlight said half-heartedly as she stared out the window. The train turned to have the sun face them as it dipped under the horizon, illuminating the train passengers in golden light.

"What are you studying in the Canterlot Library then?" Sugar Belle questioned, unrelenting with the need for conversation. Starlight was exasperated, and really had no more social energy for vague non-answers so she just remained blunt.

"Cutie Marks and cutie mark magic. They're a complete mystery to me even though I have been trying to study them." Starlight said. Sugar Belles eyes widened.

"Oh that's interesting. I always thought cutie marks were like a name thing. Like my name is Sugar Belle and I just kinda grew up to like baking. Hence my cutie mark" the pink unicorn posited. "...maybe you're destined to work in astronomy or something, Starlight"

"Oh so cutie marks are based on Nominative Determinism? I suppose the library does have a telescope…" Starlight said.

"Well then again, my teacher Pinkie Pie's Cutie Mark is 3 balloons and that has nothing to do with Pink or a Pie. Plus she's a party planner, not necessarily a baker. I guess that's why you're studying it and not me. I don't really have a clue." Starlight nodded thoughtfully. She had new respect for this baker pony, considering she wasn't being talked down to because she didn't have a cutie mark. She seemed smart and capable and a possible good friend. Sugar Belle then respected Starlight's request for silence by keeping to herself all the way until Appleoosa. When the silence was broken it was Starlight who broke it.

"What did you mean when you said you'd be out of a job if my dad gets too good at baking?" She asked.

"Oh well, that was mostly a joke. I don't know. It's hard being a baker. There's so many things to keep track of and it always feels like I'm not the best. I bet there are other ponies with baking cutie marks that are much better than me" Sugar Belle said, honest about her feelings of inadequacy.

"Do you ever wish you could do something else?" Starlight asked, seeing that she was clearly somewhat unhappy.

"I mean sometimes but, I don't really have a choice, do I? It's kinda just baking, baking and more baking."

"I think you should have the choice," Starlight said.

A tingle ran up Starlight's spine as she said that, a warm radiant feeling surrounding her for a moment, before fading. After that, the two chatted all the way to Ponyville. Sugar Belle said she also lives in Sires Hollow and Starlight should come visit sometime. They talked about cutie marks and their families, things they had in common. Starlight smiled as she realized sharing the Teacakes had allowed her to make a friend. Her dad was right. She waved a warm goodbye to Sugar Belle as she reached Ponyville, and felt a little lonely when she was absent on the ride to Canterlot. Starlight was used to being alone. She didn't feel lonely often.

As the train finally arrived in Canterlot, Starlight discarded the platter and made her way towards the Royal Library. She couldn't help but notice the awkward stares of the high society Canterlot ponies as she walked around Couture-less and blank flanked. For a moment she slowed to look at a good-looking suit in the window of a shop, but upon seeing the price tag, moved on, scoffing that the money would be better spent elsewhere. She was too busy nervously obsessing over seeing Sunburst again.

When Starlight arrived in the library she was thrilled to find she was early, and therefore could browse books for a while before Sunburst arrived. Her knowledge of magic immediately drew her to the section on Star Swirl the Bearded. As she quietly perused the shelves, she noticed one that had been labeled "A" for Anthologies. Starlight's eyes scanned down the line, utterly awestruck at the sheer number of writings the ancient unicorn had created. The shelves went on for several meters before reaching the B Anthologies. As starlight moved past into the Cs a singular book caught her eye. Nestled between two other Anthologies was a disheveled green book, no longer than a few hundred pages. It contrasted against the brown books surrounding it and seemed to be much shorter and in far more disrepair. Starlight gently levitated the book over to herself. It had been misfiled, but it was exactly what she was looking for.

"Anthology of Cutie Mark Magic" Authored by Stygian.

Starlight had far less knowledge of Stygian and his works. Her heart sank as she worried the book's quality wasn't up to par with Star Swirl the Bearded. In a way she was right. It seemed like the book had been much less taken care of, the jacket was ripped and the spine was bent so it couldn't rest closed, rather opened automatically. Starlight's eyes widened as she gazed up on the page it had opened to.

It was a kind of transfiguration spell that could remove and replace cutie marks. In the notes of the page were descriptions of multiple trials of the spell Stygian had performed on himself and other ponies. Replacement seemingly caused dissatisfaction and depression in ponies, due to the fact they take joy in their original special talents and do not tend to become skilled in the new cutie mark. Removal caused loss of color, life and skill in the special talent. Starlight's hopes fell as she read on through the trials. The ponies who's cutie marks were removed seemed more miserable than they could've been with them. Then at the very bottom of the page, hastily scribbled in red Ink was a note saying the spell with some modifications and adjustments theoretically could turn a cutie marked pony into a normal blank flank. Starlight found herself smiling as her head filled with ideas at the prospect.

"Starlight?" Sunburst said suddenly, drawing the mare from her reading frenzy and startling her.

"Oh! Sunburst! Hi! It's been a while. Sorry I'm late I just got uh wrapped up in this book, uh" Starlight said, fumbling for words as she abruptly tried to close the book, to no avail.

"It's ok. I got your letter. It's been a really long time. Good to see you again. How are things back at Sires Hollow?" The stallion said, trying to calm her.

"Oh uh things are great, uh things are fine. How is it going at magic school?" Starlight said, trying to change the subject. Sunburst quickly glanced at Starlight's blank flank before embarrassedly looking down while talking about his own insecurities.

"It's… hard. The reading is easy but it's doing the spells that I struggle with. I could tell you how to do most transfiguration spells but, I don't even know if I could do it myself." He said sheepishly.

"Really? I always thought you were so good at magic when we were kids." Starlight said, genuinely surprised.

"Ugh, you sound like my mom. Apparently prowess early on doesn't translate to skill later in life. Who knew. How is she doing by the way? Mom." He said.

"I haven't heard much other than the stuff my dad's told me. He's been talking to her a lot lately. I heard she's doing well. She just misses you and wishes you'd write more or visit more."

"I would, I just don't know what I'd tell her other than what I've been telling her. I'm trying my best, I'm just not as good as other ponies." Starlight felt a bitterness growing inside her as Sunburst talked about how supposedly hard he had it. He was the one who got his cutie mark early and left her to try to find one herself. He doesn't know what it's like to be her, what it's like to struggle the way she does.

"I'm sorry if you were expecting to talk to some new powerful wizard or something. I know you thought I was going places but you don't know what it's like at magic school." Sunburst said, attempting to voice his feelings as strongly as possible. Starlight's polite facade faded as her frustration boiled over and spilled out her mouth.

"Well at least you have a cutie mark. I've been spending years trying to find one, reading everything trying to get one, trying everything I like, everything I'm interested in, to no avail. You don't know what it's like for everypony to think they're better than you and talk down to you just because you're a blank flank. Most ponies stop experiencing that after grade school but not me, it carries over into adulthood and it's relentless!" Starlight said, almost shouting through the library halls, angry tears forming in her eyes.

"I do know what it's like. I'm sure I still have the privilege of knowing my cutie mark but that doesn't mean I don't know what it's like to feel like everyponies better than you. I wish I could be better at magic or I wish I could do something else if it means I'd be better at it but I just can't. I don't have a choice, I'm just… a failure." Sunburst said, sobbing to himself. "...I had so much potential and then it just was nothing. Where did it go?" An ethereal almost otherworldly calm fell over Starlight as she wiped her tears. The tingle in her spine and the warm radiant feeling cascaded through her body as she spoke.

"You're not a failure and neither am I. Everypony should have a choice and if they don't, something is very wrong. A cutie mark or lack thereof shouldn't define you the way it so often does. I believe that you, me and everypony should just be fundamentally equal." She said with more certainty than she had ever said anything before. Sunburst watched, squinting through his tears as a warm cyan light engulfed his friend, causing the books on the shelves to glisten in the magical glow. He stepped back as Starlight closed her eyes, feeling her body lift into the air as her radiant aura shone through the surrounding shelves. When the light faded she gently fell back to earth and opened her eyes.

On her flank was an equals sign. She had finally gotten her cutie mark.