The Rule of (Comedy) Law
The set up
Load Full StoryNext ChapterIt was a rare sight for all four Princesses of Equestria to be in the same place, let alone the same room at the same time when there wasn’t a disaster to thwart, or some grand celebration underway. Though to one of the Princesses, the tallest and arguably oldest, it was still a matter of great importance. A moment that if proven fruitful, could lead to a new grand celebration. One she hoped against hope could be possible.
“I’m still not sure about this…” Luna proclaimed as she looked over the tattered spellbook with concern. Twilight Sparkle was in the middle of studying every inch of its parchment, looking to take in even the smallest detail. Luna did not consider the newly titled “Alicorn of Magic’ to be careless, far from it, but she did have a tendency to get caught up in her love of learning new things and digging up buried magical secrets of the past. She feared this would be one time that’d cloud her judgment.
“I am aware of the risks dear sister,” Celestia began, the very slight off-pitch in her voice being the only indication that she too was overwhelmed with the possibilities. “But we both know there is rarely any reward without risk.”
“This is a risk that could prove most costly.” Luna whispered back. Her older sister frowned for but a moment, any other pony might have missed it.
“I-I know but I must try.” She replied quietly, her strong and steadfast pose breaking ever so slightly. To the world, Celestia was their leader. A rock in the oncoming tide of all the dangers that rose against them. Normally in such a situation, surrounded by family, she’d let her true goofy self shine through. The mere fact she was still keeping her metaphorical mask on proved how serious, how desperate she was.
“I’m sorry auntie…” Cadence soothed, interjecting herself into the conversation. “I knew you’ve always dreamed… I should have realized that my having Flurry Heart-”
“You have nothing to apologize for.” Celestia stopped her, putting a wing around her niece. “My desire to be a mother… while it’s true the birth of your daughter reminded me of just how long I’ve… hoped for such a thing. I could never blame you or your husband for simply being parents. I-I’m sorry if I have made you feel guilty.”
With a smile the two alicorns hugged each other with their wings before Twilight spoke up.
“While I’d be lying if I said the mere knowledge of the existence of this parchment didn’t have me overjoyed to study this, it is not the only reason I feel we should go ahead with this plan.”
She took a deep breath before giving each of the other three alicorns a grim look.
“If this so-called ‘wish spell’ can indeed do anything, e-even what most ponies consider impossible…” She stole a single glance at her teacher with that. She hated the wince that briefly flashed upon the white alicorn’s face, but as much as it stung, it was true. While theoretically possible for Luna, having been trapped in what could be considered stasis for a thousand years, and Cadance and even herself, both other races of ponies before becoming alicorns. All of them had a chance of still being able to produce foals, but Celestia? It had either just been too long, or her power had grown too great. Whatever had caused it, it weighed upon the eldest alicorn heavily.
“If it can do this, then it could potentially do anything. We must find out if that’s true, and if so, take the proper precautions. Come up with any countermeasure we can. With everything I’ve seen happen I feel we can not risk somepony like Chrysalis or Sombra getting a hold of it.”
The others nodded in agreement, even Luna. She didn’t like it, but what Twilight said rang true. They had to know the full extent of this ritual’s power. Least some twisted soul used it for nightmares far beyond anything even she could conjure. It wouldn’t even have to be a powerful enemy. Why a mere mushroom farmer could use such a thing to declare his word law, and just go about having his way with any mare he fancied! The sheer horror!
“No further objections?” None of the alicorns reacted.
Twilight nodded. “Then it’s just about time. I’ve gone over this a dozen times. It should work. Once Luna, you and I have powered it up, simply step into the rune circle and state your wish. Cadence will be on hoof to help feed more power if required, and to help stop the spell if anything goes wrong.”
“And she’s not the only one.” A new voice rang as two new ponies entered the room. A certain lilac unicorn mare, followed by an orange unicorn stallion.
“We’ve placed the protective wards all around the room as requested. The same dampening magic we use to keep Flurry’s power in check.” Sunburst declared looking over a scroll as he did.
“We’ve made sure that any possible magical expulsion should remain relatively contained in this room, while still allowing us to escape if necessary.” Starlight Glimmer added with a weary smile.
“Thank you my student.” Twilight winked at her. “If you could stand by with Cadance to jump in if needed?”
Starlight complied with a nod and took her place beside the pink alicorn. Sunburst went about making sure all magical containment artifacts were functioning correctly.
With that the three princesses, minus Cadance, got to work. Said pink alicorn stepped a good distance back ready to leap into action at a moment’s notice, Starlight sticking by her side. Three horns lit up, feeding their energy into finely woven ropes of magic that snaked their way into the circle, which in turn began to pulse with energy almost immediately.
“It’s working! It’s working!” Celestia cried, sounding almost like a little filly. Luna really hoped nothing went wrong. For her sister’s sake.
“Alright I’m stepping in!” Celestia proclaimed as she did just that. The circle’s power was crackling wildly, it glowed beautifully. Celestia’s body soon joined in its shine.
Despite it all Luna couldn’t stop herself from crying out: “Be cautious sister! Heed how the wish will be interpreted!”
It was unclear if Celestia could even hear her, such was the hum of ancient magic in the room, the sheer force causing all her fur to stand on end.
“I wish…” Celestia began barely able to contain herself. Imagines of a large family filled her mind. Dozens if not a hundred happy foals danced around in her imagination. “That for the first time in so so long, I will be the joyous reason for the happy birth of foals in Equestria!”
The light from the spell flashed the second the last word left Celestia’s lips, all present had to shield their eyes or risk going blind. When Luna could see again, her sister was gone from the circle. A small white orb with her cutie mark floating in her place. It bounced around the air in an erratic pattern, its glow getting brighter and brighter. Once it began to bounce outside the limits of the circle did Luna realize it was not contained to such.
“Twilight! Stop the spell immediately!”
“I-I can’t!” She called back. “It doesn’t need my power anymore! It’s somehow sustaining itself! C-Cadance, Starlight quick! Contain that orb!”
“Already t-trying!” Cadence cried, her horn awash with its power. Her blue magic surrounded the thing, but did little to stop its thrashing. It seemed to feed off it instead.
“T-The orb!” Starlight cried her magic fizzingly away from her shock. “It’s-”
“I-It’s draining me!” Cadence interrupted, dropping down as she struggled. “I-I can’t-”
“T-Twilight I’ll try to re-enforce the artifacts! Maybe we can still contain it!”
The orb stopped dead still in the air as Starlight screamed, the sun cutie mark pointing toward the ceiling as if it saw something. With a sudden burst of power, it shot out of the circle, through the roof and into the night. Starlight and company could only stare as it happened. It was like their countermeasures for this hadn’t even existed!
“SISTER!” Luna cried rushing toward the golf ball-sized hole that was the only sign of the orb ever being here. Panic barely had any time to set in though when there was an answer behind her.
“Y-Yes? Luna? Sister, what happened?”
All surprised eyes turned to see a very shaken and very different Celestia crawl her way out of some nearby boxes.
“C-Celestia?” Twilight squeaked her eyes wide.
“Yes Twilight it’s me. What happened? The spell must have failed, I doubt it meant to throw me across the room. I-I still feel dizzy…”
“I… You might want to look in a mirror first.”
“A mirror?” Celestia repeated, “why… wait my horn! I can’t focus any magic to cast the mirror spell! I-I can’t float one over from the wall either! No… No it’s worse! I can’t even feel the sun’s power anymore! Twilight what happened!?”
“A-Allow me dear sister…” Though drained herself, a mirror spell was simple enough that even little foals could do it. The fact that her sister couldn’t feel her sun or do this was… troubling to say the least. With a soft glow of her horn a magical reflective surface appeared before Celestia. Revealing to her that not only had she shrunk to the size Luna had been after being freed from Nightmare moon, but much like Luna, Celestia’s mane was now a normal mane rather than the ethereal one they usually wore. What’s more it was solid pink again instead of the splash of colors it was supposed to be! Celestia stared at her reflection in shock, taking in her new form before spinning around in a panic, desperately hoping to catch a glimpse of her cutie mark rather than the blank white flank she now possessed.
“W-what? Why am I like this? How does this grant my wish? Where is my magic!?”
“I’m not sure!” Twilight exclaimed beginning to pace. “I don’t even know if it was granted or if this is a horrible side effect! What’s more, if you can’t feel the sun or your magic that means that orb we saw was probably just that! Most of your essence condensed into some ball of magic! Yet it left you here like this! Why?”
“Orb!?” Celestia cried. “What orb? My magic was an orb? Is that what made that hole?”
“Calm down both of you!” Cadence shouted firmly. “Right now we have to begin emergency preparations.”
Celestia, though clearly distressed, nodded. “Y-Yes, while not being able to feel my sun is… terrifying, I am at least here and alive. I don’t feel sick or weak just… magicless.”
“And Cadance is right.” Luna added, trying to keep her own worries in check. “The day will need to be raised soon, so Twilight and I will need to get ready. We must also make haste in figuring out where that orb went. I fear what horrible incidents it could cause…”
Twilight lept into action.
“Right! Starlight and I will work on figuring out the trajectory of the orb and see if we can estimate where it’ll land! I’ll leave the kingdom duties to you! Starlight let’s…Starlight?”
“T-Twilight… these were the strongest warding spells I could find a-and it shot off like they weren’t even there… I-I failed.” Her head hung low.
“Hey, Hey no we had no idea what could happen.” Twilight tried to speak in the most soothing voice she could. Her years comforting Spike aided her. “We… we did all we could, and now. Now we’re going to do all we can to get things under control.”
Twilight didn’t get a chance to see how her words affected the mare.
“W-we might need to make haste on that dear Twilight.” Luna spoke, her voice shaken. Twilight could feel the building fear in her tone. A knot began to form in her stomach.
“W-why do you say that?”
“The sun.” Luna said, her expression teetering close to panic. “I-I thought since my sister was in such a state, I should begin preparations of raising and lowering it but…”
“But what?” Cadence spoke Twilight’s thoughts for her. “Aunt Luna please, what is happening?”
“I-It’s like it’s blocking me!” She breathed, her horn sputtering with magic. To Twilight it appeared as if she was trying to form the magic, but just… couldn’t.
“What do you mean it’s blocking you? How?” Twilight cried, firing up her own horn. She reached out and tried to once more grasp the celestial object as she had long ago during Tirek’s attack. However, no matter how hard she tried, it was like trying to pick up a ball somehow made of pure grease with the tips of your hooves. Just what was going on!?
“I-I can’t either! How is this possible?”
“M-My sun won’t listen?” Celestia asked slowly, her own voice breaking. This was her fault. She just wanted foals, and now… now something happened and she might just have doomed all of Equestria. All her ponies.
“It’s like it refuses to move!” Luna cried out in frustration, another attempt failing.
“But it’s the middle of the night! If we can’t raise the sun-” Cadence began.
“Then the night will last forever.” Luna said with a bitter taste of disgust. To think at some point in her life she had said those words with glee.
“Oh this is bad! This is so so bad! M-Maybe if all of us work together?” Twilight cried, trying not to pace around in a panic.
“I-It’s worth a shot for you to try Twilight.” Starlight spoke rising from her slumped position.
“Starlight?”
“You work with Luna and Cadance and see what you can do. I will find where that orb went and return it myself.” She looked out toward the horizon on which the orb had vanished over. “You’re right, we did what we can, and I can worry about what went wrong later. Right now-”
“-we have to find that orb.” Twilight finished for her student as she came to stand beside her. With an encouraging smile she put a wing over the nervous mare.
Starlight said nothing, but returned the smile. They risked only a moment like this before Twilight trotted back toward the other princesses to help solve the sun problem. Meanwhile, she’d find where the orb went and go get it back. Hopefully, she found it before anypony else. Especially if it had Celestia’s power trapped in it.
“I don’t know if anything is listening out there.” Starlight whispered, “But please grant me this one thing. If I don’t find that orb first. Please make sure it doesn’t fall into the hooves of some creature of horrible make…”
Author's Note
I liked the creativity of the concept of Rule of Law. Just not so much all the you know 'Forcing upon ponies' stuff. So I thought. What if instead the story was a comedy and the MC ended up in the most absurd situations that just had to end in sex?
So here we are.
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