“But how can we be real if our spoons aren’t real? Oh, I’m so confused!”
Jazz Hooves rubs her temple for a moment, taking a break from the soup in front of her. Across from her sits Anon, the only human in Maretime Bay. The two are situated at a small dining table outside of a local restaurant, though they appear to be the only customers. The fading red color in the distant sky is all that remains of the day’s natural light, and stars are starting to blink into view overhead.
“It’s just a thought experiment, Jazz!” Anon says enthusiastically, clearly quite amused by his date’s confusion. “There’s no need to take it literally.”
“Well, it’s a stupid thought experiment,” she says with an adorable pout. “I’m going to finish my maybe-real soup with my probably-not-real spoon now.”
“Careful, your not-real mouth might not register the taste.”
“Anon–”
“And what is taste, anyway? Is it an inherent quality, or is it simply a description we give things due to the existence of our tongues? Do you think–”
“Stop! Stop it!” Jazz covers her ears and acts annoyed, though the smile on her face reveals that she finds the exchange just as humorous as her companion. “Just let me eat in peace!”
“Fine, fine,” Anon chuckles as he puts his hands in the air innocently. “No more fake philosophy.”
The two continue to enjoy the rest of their meal in high spirits. It’s been awhile since they’ve gotten to go out like this. It’s not like they don’t see each other often (Maretime Bay isn’t that big), but they’re both so busy that it’s difficult to make time for quiet moments like these.
“You look nice, Jazz.”
Just as Jazz finishes eating, she locks eyes with Anon while he says those words. She hesitates for a moment, doing her best to stop the warmth she feels growing in her cheeks.
“Y-yeah. I-I mean… you too!”
They both tried to look nice for the evening, with Jazz wearing a subdued-yet-elegant dress and Anon wearing his “fancy” clothes. They’re not really all that fancy, but it’s not like there’s a big market for human clothes in Maretime Bay, so he’ll take what he can get.
Before long, their waiter comes by with the bill. Anon covers it, causing Jazz to tilt her head.
“Since when have you had money?”
“Uhh… since I got a job?” Anon looks confused at her question as they stand and begin to make their way down the long, dimly lit street. “That’s what they’re for, ya know.”
“Well, obviously. But when did you get a job? Last I checked, no one would hire you.”
“Having to duck through most doorways will do that to you,” Anon replies with a sigh as he rests his hands behind his head. “Thankfully, I bumped into Pointer Array a few weeks ago. Got a job doing some back-end development stuff for him.”
“I thought you said programming was difficult for you since you don’t understand ‘pony languages.’”
“It was at first, but I picked up on a few things pretty quickly. Besides, I more than make up for my lack of experience with my speed thanks to these bad boys.”
Anon wiggles his fingers, causing Jazz to smirk.
“Look at that, your biology is good for something!”
“You say that like my perfectly sculpted face and incredible figure aren’t the definition of eye candy.”
Anon flexes as if to make a point, revealing that his face is far from perfect and his figure isn’t even remotely incredible.
“...”
“...You could at least ACT supportive!”
The two share a laugh as their walk comes to a sudden stop. Neither are really sure why they stopped, but one of the bay’s many docks leading out above the water is nearby, and it looks surprisingly inviting. Not the kind to question their instincts, the strange couple saunters across the old, creaky wood.
Reaching the end of the dock, Jazz takes note of the night sky above them. It’s a crystal-clear night, and the countless stars hanging above them are reflected perfectly on the water’s surface. It’s a beautiful sight, and it’s more than enough to leave them both breathless.
Without really thinking, Jazz takes a seat right on the edge of the dock. Anon does the same, allowing his legs to dangle off the side. For a while, neither of them say a word as they simply drink in the sight.
“No matter how long I live here, I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of seeing this.”
“As someone who’s lived here her whole life… yeah, it never gets old.”
“It’s probably my second favorite sight in the bay.”
“Oh? And what’s your favorite?” Anon turns to look at Jazz, prompting her to look back at him in return. He wears a large, cocky grin, causing her face to go red. “D-don’t you dare!”
“...”
Anon continues to smile silently.
“Don’t!”
“...”
His smile only widens.
“Seriously, it’s the most overused and cheesy–”
“You’re my favorite sight in the bay.”
“Darn it, Anon!”
Jazz shoves Anon playfully, severely underestimating the strength with which she does so. As a result, Anon’s smile disappears as he is pushed right off of the dock and into the water below. There’s a loud splash as he falls beneath the waves before surfacing again moments later.
“Ah! S-sorry, Anon!”
“Nah, you’re fine. The water’s pretty comfortable, actually.”
“R-really?” Jazz breathes a sigh of relief. “That’s good, I was afraid you were–”
“Why don’t you join me?”
“HuUUUUUUUH?!”
Before Jazz can properly respond, she feels Anon jump up and grab her perfectly hooficured hooves, dragging her off of the dock and sending her careening into the water with him with a shriek.
When her head pokes above the water, her eyes are half-lidded and annoyed. Her lovely, gradient-colored mane is soaked and drooping past her face and into the water, sticking to her head and cheeks in a few places.
“Well?”
“Hm?”
“Are you happy now?”
“Yeah, I’d say so.”
“Good, because you’re paying for my dress if this ruins it.”
“...Y-yeah, that’s fair.”
“Ugh.” Jazz shakes her head, unable to hide her growing smile. “Come on, let’s climb back up before we catch a cold.”
“Er, o-one thing real quick?”
“Hm?”
“...Y-you look nice. Even when soaking wet.”
Jazz doesn’t respond. For a long, awkward moment, she simply stares at him in absolute shock, taking note of his own reddened cheeks. After a while, she catches herself feeling a bit bold. Wordlessly, she wades closer to him. Anon says nothing, catching onto what’s happening without the need for words.
Once she’s close enough, he reaches for her still-submerged torso and wraps his arms around her, pulling her in close. They can both feel the other’s breath on their cold, wet forms.
Then, they simultaneously press forward, closing their eyes as they begin to passionately kiss in the moonlit water.
They aren’t sure how long they remain like that, but it is most definitely longer than they should. When they part, they’re both gasping for air and grinning like fools.
“You always find the worst moments to kiss me, you know that?”
“Hey, I’m pretty sure you initiated it this time.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jazz says playfully as she breaks out of his embrace and begins to swim back towards the dock. “Now come on, we really are gonna get sick like this.”
“But, Jazz!”
“What?”
“How can the dock be real if our legs aren’t real?”
“Sh-shut up!”
Author's Note
Why is there no Jazz tag? This is an outrage! 
Also, I wrote this before the TYT episode that ships her with Rocky. Put your pitchforks down. 
As always, I appreciate any and all feedback!
