Rarer Things

by Hyper Star

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Rarity, Random
Length: 2275

Just ONE Rarity was bad enough for Rainbow Dash, multiple of them are even worse.

Rainbow Dash never liked Rarity’s attention to detail and need for cleanliness, she’d rather get stuff done as quick as possible, so what happens if she gets transported to a world with just Raritys?

This fic was requested by JBlaser

Do not expect a Stranger Things crossover!

Published 2024-02-05 15:50:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-02-05 15:50:00 UTC

Hyper Star Presents: Rarer Things

Rainbow Dash zipped around the boutique, juggling bolts of delicate silk while Rarity nervously followed her.

“Careful, Rainbow! That iridescent organza is worth a fortune.”

“Relax, Rarity! I've got this,” Rainbow grinned, narrowly avoiding bumping into a stack of fabric.

Rarity sighed, clutching her heart. “Just remember, darling, we want fabulous dresses, not a disastrous mess!”

“You wanted my help, that means we do this Rainbow Dash style!”

As they reached the cutting table, Rainbow Dash attempted a somersault, sending a bunch of fabric bolts into the air.

“Oops, heh, my bad,” she chuckled, using her wings to gather the falling fabric.

Rarity gasped, “Rainbow Dash, those were one-of-a-kind silks from Saddle Arabia!”

“Don't worry, Rarity. I'll just, you know, uhm, get more fabric...”

“NO! Ahem, no thank you, darling, you've helped plenty.” Rarity glanced around, eyes wide, at the mess in the boutique.

“Okay, do you atleast need help cleaning up?”

“No, I'll manage. Thank you for the help.”

“Oh, okay, phew, cleaning's not really my thing.”

“I can see that.”

Rainbow Dash shrugged it off. “Do you need anything from Twilight? I'm going there anyway since I need to ask her if she has a copy of Daring Do and the Chalice of Flame since Spike accidentally sent mine to Princess Celestia.”

“I suppose you could ask her if she has time to help me.”

“Got it, bye!” Rainbow Dash rushed out of the boutique, slamming the door violently, causing some ponequins to fall over.

Rarity looked ready to faint, “Goodbye.” she pulled in a fainting couch and laid on it with her foreleg over her forehead.

Spike gagged and rolled around the floor of Golden Oaks Library.

“Spike! What in the name of Celestia are you doing?!” Twilight yelled, rushing down the stairs.

“Princess Celestia's sent–” he gagged, “–you something–” he gagged a second time, “–big!”

Spike clutched his stomach. He suddenly burped and a colossal book emerged. The poor dragon looked both relieved and slightly queasy as the large tome laid upside down and open across the library floor. The book had a letter attached to it.

“Yikes, I should probably tell Princess Celestia not to send anything other than a maximum of three scrolls at a time, how does that sound?”

Spike fell backwards and laid sprawled out on the floor, “That would be a– a relief.”

The letter was taped to the cover of the book, she levitated it off and — after inspecting the horn-writing and grammar to confirm it wasn't one of Rainbow Dash's pranks — read it. It said:

𝑫𝒆𝒂𝒓 𝑻𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕,

𝑰 𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒍𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒊𝒏 𝒈𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒕𝒉. 𝑾𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒆 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒖𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒗𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒍𝒍𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑪𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑨𝒓𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒔, 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝒖𝒑𝒐𝒏 𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒆𝒍𝒖𝒅𝒆𝒅 𝒎𝒚 𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒈𝒏𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏. 𝑹𝒆𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒚, 𝒎𝒚 𝒔𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒅𝒖𝒍𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒐𝒄𝒄𝒖𝒑𝒊𝒆𝒅 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒂 𝒎𝒆𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒅 𝑫𝒖𝒌𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑫𝒖𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝑴𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒐𝒏𝒊𝒂, 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒆 𝒖𝒏𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒊𝒏𝒗𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒈𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒇𝒖𝒓𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓.

𝑰 𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒍𝒚 𝒓𝒆𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒆𝒙𝒂𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒂𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆. 𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒆𝒙𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒕𝒊𝒔𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒅𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒔𝒖𝒄𝒉 𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒍𝒚 𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅.

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔 𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒍𝒚,

𝑷𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝑪𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒂

Twilight looked at the book and then at her schedule which was on a table near the window.

“W–what now?” Spike struggled to get up.

“I guess I have time to read it right now.”

Twilight went back upstairs to read the book.

“Y–you could've helped me first...”

Rainbow Dash flung open the door to Golden Oaks Library. “Oh, hey Spike, have you seen Twilight?”

Spike pointed up the stairs, Rainbow Dash rushed into Twilight's room.

“W–wait! Help me u–...!”

The book from the Princess had what seemed to be an old version of a teleportation spell.

Twilight focused intently, casting as ancient as this requires total concentration. The air crackled with magical energy as she channelled her concentration.

Suddenly, the library door burst open with a resounding slam. Startled, Twilight glanced up to see Rainbow Dash. “Hey, Twilight! Rarity–”

A stray surge of magic escaped her control, zapping Rainbow Dash. In an instant, Rainbow disappeared.

Wide-eyed, Twilight stammered, “Rainbow? Where'd you go?”

The empty space where Rainbow Dash stood prompted a nervous chuckle. “Well, that was unexpected.”

What was the last word she said? That should help me find her... Twilight thought, then it hit her, "Rarity," the last word she said was "Rarity," but Rarity isn't a place, so where could she have gone?

Rainbow Dash suddenly found herself from inside Golden Oaks Library to hurtling towards Rarity's boutique, she crashed through the roof — creating a Rainbow Dash shaped hole in it — and went right into a shelf. The shelf wobbled and began to fall over, she jumped out of the way and the shelf fell onto four ponequins, which shattered into pieces.

“Yikes, Rarity's not gonna be happy, atleast I'm okay, another close call for Rainbow "Tough" Dash!” Rainbow triumphantly spread out her wings, only to snap her left back by her side in pain, “Ack! Oh n–”

Rainbow Dash was interrupted by a gasp of horror, she turned around to see Rarity standing behind her — three Raritys, might I add.

Rainbow Dash screamed, “WHAT?!”

“What have you done, you brute?!” one of the Raritys yelled.

“Halt! Put your hooves in the air.”

“What the actual–...?!”

A royal guard stood by the door, actually, scratch that, Rarity stood by the door, hang on, no, Rarity in royal guard armour stood by the door, two of them, infact.

“Due to the damage you have dealt — to a boutique of all places! — we will have to take you away to Princess Rarity!”

Rainbow Dash just stared at the two Raritys unblinkingly, still trying to process what they said. “What kind of sick dream is this?!”

Before she knew it, she was in hoofcuffs. One of the Rari-guards used her magic to teleport them to Canterlot Castle, or atleast, what she hoped was still Canterlot Castle, they might as well have renamed it to Rari-lot Castle or whatever.

In place of Princess Celestia, another Rarity sat atop the throne, this one tall and skinny with a flowing purple mane, like Princess Celestia. Nopony but Rarity around? Whatever this place is seems like right out of Rainbow's nightmares.

“Princess Rarity, this pony has dealt serious damage to a boutique in Ponyville, what shall we do with her?”

“Hm, yes, and it seems she isn't even a Rarity! Such a crime must not be left unpunished! But, first of all, I will come to inspect the damage; the more severe the damage, more severe the punishment. ”

“What is going on?! T–this has to be a dream, but you can't feel pain in a dream, so what is this?!”

“Silence, non-Rarity, you must only speak when spoken to!”

While Rainbow Dash followed "Princess Rarity" to the boutique which she had previously trashed, she noticed that there was a lot more boutiques in Ponyville than normal; almost every store was a boutique.

“Oh my!” Princess Rarity exclaimed after seeing the destroyed ponequins and shelf and the hole in the roof, “Do you know how serious this is, non-Rarity? You shall get a very severe punishment!”

Rainbow Dash noticed that the roof around the hole she had made started cracking further, causing a large chunk to fall out of it. The chunk of the roof almost fell on top of Princess Rarity, but Rainbow Dash pushed her out of the way, causing the chunk to land on her hindleg.

“Ow! First my wing, now this?!”

“Did you just... save my life?”

“Yeah, and I probably would've been able to save my leg as well if my wing wasn't hurt as well; I would've been fast enough.”

The two Rari-guards lifted the chunk of the roof off of Rainbow Dash.

“So, you are saying that not only did you save me, but you did so despite being hurt?”

“It's no big deal.”

“Such an act of generosity! Just like a true Rarity. For this, I'll forgive your crimes,”

“T– thanks?”

“But wait! Only the most generous of ponies is allowed to rule Rari-questria, that means I shall be stepping down, what is your name?”

“Rainbow Dash, and what are you talking about?”

“Rainbow Dash? We'll have to change that. I am saying that you shall become the new ruler of Rari-questria. Chop, chop, Raritys, we need her ready for the ceremony.”

“What? No way.”

“Nonsense, it's the law.”

Four Raritys seized her and pulled her into the dressing room. “Wait, no! Let me go!”

“Hm, what dress shall we make her wear?”

“Perhaps something with lots of glitter. How about a lavender dress?”

“Oh no, absolutely not, magenta would be much better, to match her eyes.”

“Magenta? What's a magenta?”

“Ugh, we'll need to work on your knowledge of individual pigments.”

“Pigs? What do those have to do with anything?”

All Rarity 4 grimaced, Rarity 3 rolled her eyes and Rarity 2 facehoofed but Rarity 1 grabbed a sparkly pink high-neck gown off of a clothes rack.

Rainbow Dash squirmed as she shoved on the gown, “Stop, let go of me! I can't breathe in this thing,”

“What about her shoes?”

“How about high heels?”

“What do you think, which colour should we make them?”

“A– are you asking me? I dunno, green? I don't even want high heels.”

All four Raritys gasped in horror.

“How about a hot pink?”

“Wait, what's a hot pink, what's a magenta and what's a lavender?”

Rarity 2 levitated a pair of pink high heels out of a shoe box and put them on Dash's hindlegs making her wobble in place. “Why are you making me wear these? These are gonna break my legs! You don't want a leader with broken hooves!”

“Oh, calm down, you'll be fine.”

“Can you atleast give me four of these? I can't walk on my hindlegs like this!”

“No; I shall go get you some gloves.”

Rarity 3 meticulously styled her mane to match her own, pulling the manebrush vigorously. “Ouch! You're gonna rip my mane off!” Rainbow said, trying to free herself from Rarity's grasp.

“What makeup shall we put on her?”

“Oh! How about some pink eyeshadow and some black mascara for more prominence?”

“Why are you giving me so much pink stuff?”

Rarity 4 put pink eyeshadow on her eyelids, “This stuff's making my eyes itch. Can we skip the eye makeup, please?” Rainbow Dash winced.

Rarity 1 put black mascara on her with precision, making her eyelashes look like fringes. “Stop poking my eyes! I don't need this mascara stuff. I look like a raccoon,” Rainbow complained, squinting against the brush.

Rarity 2 made her wear white evening gloves on her hooves, “Why are you making me wear gloves? They're gonna get all dirty when I walk anyway.”

Rarity 3's perfume, a blend of floral and fruity smells, made a cloud that enveloped Rainbow Dash. "Uh, why do I need to smell like a flower shop?" she waved her hooves to remove the fragrance.

“There! You look lovely, darling!”

“Do I, though?”

“Come see yourself in the mirror!”

Rainbow Dash walked up to the mirror and — after seeing her look — screamed in horror.

Rainbow Dash was paraded towards Canterlot, a procession of Raritys watching her, cheering.

Rainbow Dash looked around Ponyville, she was the only pony around here who was different looking.

Raritys would be grocery shopping, Raritys would be the cashiers, Raritys would be sweeping the floors Raritys would be walking Opalecences attached to leashes, need I go on?

When they reached Canterlot Castle, Princess Rarity announced to the nothing-but-Rarity population.

“We shall dye your mane and coat after the ceremony.”

“No! I'm not a Princess and nopony's dying my mane and fur!”

Next thing she knew, she was being levitated into the air by Rari-guards. Princess Rarity signalled for her to spread her wings, but Rainbow shook her head. Princess Rarity rolled her eyes and levitated her tiara off her head and placed it on Dash's head.

“Behold, Princess Rainbow Rarity!”

“Uh, it's Rainbow Dash!”

“No, it's Princess Rainbow Rarity.”

Suddenly, in a flash of pink light, Twilight appeared, “Sorry I took so long, I seems like you glitched out the sp– whoa! What happened to you?!”

“Another non-Rarity?!” The crowd gasped in horror.

Twilight looked around, her expression a mixture of confusion and horror. “What is this?!”

“No time! Please, Twi! Get us outta here!”

Finally, Rainbow Dash found herself back inside of Golden Oaks Library, in Ponyville, with ordinary ponies and just one Rarity.

“Rainbow, what in the world did you do?”

“What did I do? What did you do?!”

“Okay, okay, I don't have time to argue with you, just make sure to knock next time, there's a chance you could lose a wing with another miscast like that.”

Rarity entered the room, “There you are, darlings! Rainbow, did you not ask her my q– oh my, what are you wearing?”

Rainbow Dash was trying to wipe the makeup of her face, and throw off the clothes.

“You look absolutely lovely! Why don't you wear clothes like that more often?”

Rainbow Dash looked horrified. She threw away the heels, gloves and clothes and frantically flew out the window. “GET AWAY FROM ME!”

“Huh, what was that all about?”

“You want the long, or the short version?”

Author's Note

Yeah, yeah, I know, "Twilight effed up a spell is such a boring trope"!

What can I say? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire reference on purpose? Definitely!