I Don't Remember

by nitelight

Chapter 10: That Of What I Lost

Previous Chapter

It took longer than it should have to get her heart rate back under control. The sound of two voices conversing around her were muffled, and she was unable to make out any specifics. Their tone of urgency was all she could sense while within her own fog.

They were not the only ones in the room, however, as a fourth made their presence known to the princess' side, an arm placed in a way to provide comfort. It was distinctly less bulky than the one that had initially pulled her into the room, more feminine. Not until she had calmed down had Luna noticed that she had been talking as well. It was lighter than that of the men in the room, and she had not made out its delicate, accented, tone till then.

"There we are, dear. Focus on your breathing, you're alright." They were gentle nothings meant to coax her back into reality, and that they were.

The room and those around her slowly came into focus, the pale hand on her arm coming to a stop in its ministrations. Her heart was still painful in her chest, but it was soon dull enough to ignore. Nightingale was the only one she recognized, and he was talking to another man nearly as tall and well-built. He was well dressed, clad in a suit and clearly well put together. Possibly nobility. The woman to her side, however, was much thinner, lithe, and around the same stature as herself, from what she could tell.

Focusing on their appearances helped more than anything, and she soon felt lightheaded. Having such an adrenaline rush did not sit well with her recovering body.

There was a short exclamation from the woman at her side, getting the attention of her escort and the other man. "How are you feeling, Princess?" Her voice cut in over the now quiet room, eyes expectant.

However strange the situation, the princess could feel no ill intention radiating from her, simple concern washing out anything else.

"We art... well. Thank thee." It was mostly true. An adrenaline rush wouldn't be the end of her. The events in charge of it were another story. But that could wait for a moment.

Luna was well aware by now of the three sets of eyes on her, watching. It was almost as unnerving as the cameras from earlier. What were they waiting for? But more importantly, "Who are thou?"

That earned her a hearty chuckle from the suited man, the woman covering her mouth to hold in a laugh of her own.

"I would suppose introductions are in order." The man straightened himself out, giving the princess a brief bow. "I am Governor General Fancy Pants, high representative of the royal city of Canterlot. There on your side is my partner, Fleur De Lis. She is a well respected fashion model here in the city." Said model gave Luna a welcoming smile.

It was good to put names to their faces. Governor General, though? Her assumptions of high class were correct, then. And while that should have made her wary, there were still no indications that his intentions were anything but pure. This was the first noble she had met face to face as of yet, though. She knew that she wasn't the best at reading modern body language, but his actions spoke for him clearly enough already. Fancy had been the one to pull her away from the press and into this room in the first place.

"Lovely to meet thee both." She tried to put on a face worthy of her position, but she doubted that mattered now. They had already seen her in a worse position. "But may we ask... what exactly—"

"We're trying to figure that out ourselves." Fleur spoke up beside her. Her accent was heavy, more so than her own. She was likely not originally from the city. Perhaps somewhere towards the coasts? She had been reading up on the regions of the land, and some of the further parts spoke in different accents, occasionally different languages as well. "The press isn't normally allowed this far into the castle; even when there are certain events that allow them entry. Fancy and I were hiding in this room for that very reason. Seeing you two was a lucky coincidence." One she was grateful for. Fleur lifted a finger up to her chin in thought, glancing over at her partner and Luna's escort. "I had been hearing some gossip through the rumor mill about a certain woman returning to the castle with Princess Celestia not too long ago. The press hasn't died down since. I never did imagine them breaking into the castle of all things, though."

"Impatient as ever, they are. None can wait before using their tricks to learn the secrets of the royal family." Fancy Pants' worries complimented his partner's well. "It is truly a misfortune that you would have to get caught up in such things when it has been made clear that your introduction to society will be slow going. You did not get hurt, did you? I was quite abrupt when pulling you away from the scene. I did not stop to ask." His ended with a more somber tone, glancing to the lunar princess in concern. It was appreciated, but she wished people would stop looking at her with such pity. She wasn't made of porcelain.

"Nay, we art not. Only confused on the matter."

It was a mutual feeling shared with the other three in the room. One they could not stay in forever. The sound of the press outside the door had been muffled the whole time they had been in there, but was slowly dying out to a few murmurs. Distracting the press would be easy with a famous model and the city Governor. A simple plan, but effective.

"A bit late and in rather unfortunate circumstances, I say, but it is truly an honor to meet you, Princess Luna." They left with a quick word and a bow. There were a few shudders of cameras going off when the door opened, but Nightingale stood in between the entrance and any of the cameras pointed towards the inside. He stayed there until the crowd dispersed and they were able to sneak out and get back to the princess' chambers.

It was nice to get a breath of still air. Even if it hadn't been too long since she had been in that very same spot in front of her window, overlooking the city below, it felt like years. Socializing was not one of her strong suits, it seemed. Every time she had to, something seemed to go wrong. Well, the actual act of talking wasn't the worst, despite her archaic tongue, but the culture others lived in and were used to was... off. It didn't feel right. That feeling of not belonging was only stronger when she was around others who did. But there was no use sulking about it, nothing could be changed doing that.

There was one thing she could change, however, and that was her magic. The more she used it while in recovery, the better it would turn out in the end. She followed her doctor's orders as best as she could, not pushing herself to get it to work. But it was starting to get tiring. She could physically do things instead, yes, but her body wasn't fully healed either. Despite her own impatience, there was this feeling she got whenever even the simplest of levitation was used. Like something was calling her. It was not the same aching feeling she got whenever she thought of the nightmare, no, this was gentle. Like an old friend calling you back after lost time. What was it, though? The moon? Perhaps. Its call had been getting stronger and stronger every night.

Maybe she would try to raise it again soon. Maybe tonight— wait. It was late enough now that the moon should be in the sky. But it wasn't. Celestia surely wouldn't have forgotten, would she? No meeting could be that important.

Just before Luna was about to start thinking the worst, the sound of the main door of her room opening caught her attention, stopping her in her unconscious pacing.

"Now, now, Luna, it isn't that late. I didn't think a few minutes would worry you this much." Her sister's voice was teasing, but the weariness it held overshadowed much of the joy she was trying to convey.

"Sister..." She wanted to say more, to ask what had happened to make her so late, but her words died in her throat. The look on Celestia's face indicated there was something she wanted to say. It wouldn't be too far-fetched to say that she had found out what happened.

Nothing was said on the matter, her sister only motioning with her wing over to the balcony before walking out and taking up a stance of serenity. "I can see your power has recovered since the last time we tried... Would you like to raise the moon tonight, little sister?"

The younger princess took her time walking over to the elder, hands reaching out to steady herself on the rails. Of course she would ask shortly after she had been thinking about doing it herself. A coincidence, surely.

"If you're sure." She mumbled it out, forgetting her old speech for a moment of uncertainty. Using it with Celestia seemed too formal, anyway. They were sisters, weren't they? Surely they didn't talk so formally before.

Luna took in a deep breath and steadied herself before charging up her magic. It was more or less like a simple levitation spell, just on a much larger object. She focused on imagining the sphere in her mind, of pushing it up into its position. It was almost easy, a familiar feeling running through her veins as it moved.

Despite the presence of her sister beside her, watching, she was calm. But she wasn't the only one who was. Ever since her return, that small voice on the back of her head seemed to have a mind of its own. Mostly, she just ignored it. Confusion was the main thing she had felt upon returning, so not much thought had gone into small thoughts like that.

How almost... sinister it felt, however, had been an area of caution she meant to look into. They were usually small things, enough to make her uncomfortable on her feet, but nothing like this. That voice was reaching for the power she was using to lift the celestial body in the sky, whispering. The louder it got, the harder it was to keep her spell intact.

She almost didn't hear the concerned voice of Celestia beside her, calling out her name in worry and what sounded like...fear? She was just raising the moon. Perhaps she had used too much of her magic, or did something wrong. Maybe she had accidently let one of those thoughts loose.

No, she loosened the weave of her spell and slowly opened her eyes to be met with her sister's: wide open. She must have noticed Luna's confusion, as she wasted no time in wrapping both her arms and wings around Luna's body. It was enough for her to let go of her spell fully. It was as if a weight was lifted off her chest, that voice retreating angrily back to the recesses of her mind.

The solar princess' embrace was warm, her voice carrying the same glow as she shushed her lunar sister to calm her down. She hadn't realized that she started shaking. That was it, she had used too much of her magic at once. She had been warned about what a magical burnout could do... oops.

If only she had noticed her skin slowly fading back to its paler complexion as she steadied her breathing.

"Luna? Luna, are you alright?" Again, the voice of her sister broke through the tensioned silence. She was unsteady, hands running along Luna's arms.

"We're alright, sister. We apologize, we did not realize we w're using so much power." She started to wiggle out of her sister's embrace. While her heat was comforting at first, she did not feel like sweating all over her sister when she was trying to help.

"So much.. you didn't—" The solar diarch sounded surprised by her response. It was just a magical burnout, was it not? She understood concern, but this seemed a bit much... Maybe Celestia was simply more overprotective than she originally thought. It made sense, since she had been gone for a thousand years. Just because she didn't remember all that time didn't mean that Celestia didn't.

Despite her fatigue, the moon was indeed far up in the sky, not quite high enough, but up nonetheless.

Her sister loosened her grip some, enough to let her turn to watch the sky. She did that a lot. Much like the moon, the stars seemed to call for her, awaiting her return as their commander. She gave them a silent apology, for it would still take time.

"It's been a long day. Would you like to have some tea?" It was a simple request, but one she agreed to quickly. As awkward as some of their interactions were, being with her sister was one place she was allowed to not keep her back so straight, and where her confusions were granted explanation. The only nobles she had properly met so far were Fancy Pants and his partner, Fleur, but they hadn't seemed too bad. The rest of them, however...

Upon Celestia's request, tea had been swiftly delivered to her chambers. The princesses themselves had changed into more comfortable outfits, their crowns set off to the side. Luna could easily see how tired her sister was, having nearly fallen asleep on the plush chair, clad in her silk nightdress. She was partial to sweatpants herself. Having her clothes fit more loosely was much more comfortable than a tight band.

Despite the relatively light atmosphere, and her trying not to fall asleep, Celestia was fidgety. It was obvious she wanted to say something. Whether she was unsure of how to get it out, or she simply was stalling for time, Luna waited. She would find the courage to get it out on her own time.

"I truly am glad you're back, Luna." There it was. She glanced up at her sister over the rim of her cup. "I know you don't remember... I know that things may seem overwhelming, being put into a major city full of politics with people you do not know."

Where was she going with this?

"Even though you are my sister, and a princess of the realm, there are some things even I cannot keep you safe from." She let out a sigh, sinking further into her chair. "To the nobles, you are an enigma. You came out of nowhere after I was attacked by what they believe to be a villainous legend. They have their theories; some of them are correct to an extent... It is only logical for them to spread rumors based on theory."

"Is this about the reporters from earli'r?"

"They've been spreading quicker than I would have thought. And since no definitive answers have been given to their questions, I fear they may only continue to get worse."

She had explained the reasoning behind why she had been so late. Stopping the press from leaking any footage they had taken while inside the castle had taken more than just a stern word, unsurprisingly. News articles were still printed, however, and even this late in the evening had major influence on the opinions of the people. Gossip, rumors, or even a simple glance at the new princess that had arrived, all of it was wanting to be seen.

It had only been a few days, but the people were impatient. Of course, hiding in her room wasn't doing any favors. The rumor of her being unstable, crazy even, of being the Nightmare were common theories going around in the minds of the greater noble families of the city.

They were not pleased, to put it in simplicity. Many claimed that her intentions were impure, and that Celestia was just fine on her own.

While harsh, they were things the lunar princess could understand the meaning behind. They were afraid of change and letting it out on the one they believed to be the cause.

Until she was formally presented to the public, these rumors would not end. Even then, they would not end completely. They could only be fed so many words before they demanded action.

But there was nothing Luna could do for now. Facing the public while her memory and magic were in fragments wouldn't do anyone any favors. She wanted to learn more about the world she was unfamiliar with, to remember anything of importance, before getting involved in high society and the politics of the land. She couldn't very well rule a country without knowing how to control most of her own body.

Her sister had long since returned to her own chambers, leaving the younger to her thoughts. Dwelling on the opinions of others she did not know would only add to the ever increasing list of negatives she had. Including what had happened when she had been raising the moon earlier.

Her limbs were still shaky from the experience. It wasn't a full drain of her power, but enough to leave her tired. Her magic levels had been increasing steadily, allowing her to use the spells that she knew for longer before tiring. Her talent was raising the moon, so surely it had to be easy for her, relatively speaking. But apparently not that easy. It had felt fine at first. But the look in her sister's eyes... she couldn't get that image out of her mind.

It was more than just concern for her overexerting herself. But what exactly it was... she couldn't place her finger on it. The only thing of note during the whole process was that voice. It was just a voice, her unconscious thoughts reflecting the negative, nothing to be concerned about, at least to an extent. She had been quick to let the matter go, though, to switch the conversation over to another matter when Luna herself hadn't realized what happened.

Thinking about it too hard only made her head swim more. The drain had in fact given her quite the headache, her limbs tired. But it was worth it. She had in fact raised the moon successfully for the first time that she could recall. And it felt great.

She had originally wanted to work on her magic more after watching her sister raise the moon. Oh well. She could only hope that it wouldn't take it too long to recover her mana. She was sure that she would get a stern word from her doctor either way.

The day had been taxing on the princess physically, her body practically melting into the mattress as soon as she laid down to rest her eyes and think. Of course, she didn't get very far before sleep overcame her.


Author's Note

I finished writing this almost two months ago and completely forgot to post it :twilightoops:
Let me know if you see any mistakes and I'll do my best to fix them!