Author's Note

I posted a blog about it earlier, but my hotmail account was hacked. Fortunately, whoever did it forgot to lock me out and I was able to warn people. The account is twelve years old at this point, so if I lose it, it's not a huge deal, but with that being said, now I'm motivated to write some real emo shit. Make sure to keep your accounts secure.

As the Sun Sets

Twilight and Spike excepted to pack up first thing in the morning, but to their surprise, their friends requested an encore of the previous night's performance. They wanted to hear Rainbow play again, screams and all.

"Looks like you're known for more than just sports now." the Alicorn pointed out.

"The fact you guys wanna hear more's surprising. Flutters and Rarity hated that stuff back in the day."

"Guess something brought 'em around. You gonna go for it?"

"Obviously. Ask and ye shall receive, or however the saying goes."

Noah, Nathan, and Scootaloo helped set the equipment up inside. Rainbow pointed them towards one of her heavier songs, influenced by bands like Jane, As the Sun Sets, They Came Burning, and others. For an authentic old school feel, Rainbow set up a movie in the background - a horror film which delved into the existential depths of love, death, and loneliness. She played a clip from her favorite, and the chaos erupted.

"FRAGMENTED DESECRATIONS!!! A PIECE OF US DIES WITH EVERY MORNING'S LIGHT!!! WHY MUST THIS BLOOD BE SO CLEAR!!!???"

The instruments hammered away, descending into a state of emotional anarchy.

"WHERE IS YOUR SOUL!!!???"

The pattern of blast beats and alternating guitars repeated for some time, gradually declining in speed and culminating in a chug-laden breakdown.

"WHY DID YOU GO!!!??? WHY CAN'T THINGS BE THE SAME LIKE THEY USED TO!!!??? WE ACHE FOR THE PRESENCE OF THOSE WE'VE LOST!!! SO MUCH TIME, SO FEW WORDS - NO ONE TO TELL US OF YOUR LAST DEPARTURE!!! HOW CAN THOSE SO CLOSE SEEEM SO FAR AWAY!!!???"

Nathan maintained rhythm, picking up the pace with steady double kicks. Rainbow's body temperature rapidly increased, bordering on sweat.

"WHEN ONE DAY BECOMES TWENTY YEARS, WE'LL LOOK BACK TO WHEN THE WORLD SEEMED SO MUCH BRIGHTER!!!"

Twilight lowered her phone, shocked by the visceral display. Rainbow was speaking directly to her friends in the most raw, unfiltered way she could think of, spilling her darkest agony to all who would listen. It was no wonder she kept the public performance tame. Twilight ended the recording, stepping forward to embrace her own lost history. The others stopped dead in their tracks.

"Twilight, what are you-"

"That songs about us, right? How we could've died and the others wouldn't have known?"

Everyone was stunned. Either the Alicorn had extraordinary hearing, or...

"You meant so much to us back then, but those words mean more now than they ever would have before. I never forgot, and I will never forget."

Rainbow closed her eyes, sighing and returning the gesture. Somehow, just barely, she suppressed the urge to cry.

"You need rest. I'll fix you something to drink."

Rainbow caught her breath, hydrating before explaining what drove her to write what she had.

"Last year, I was at my lowest. Everything I ever cared about had gone to shit, and I was so fed up with life I just wanted out. I thought about ending it for months. I tried to project an image of stability and calm-headedness, but in private, it was all collapsing. I never played that song until today. I thought letting it out would get it out of my system so I could move on with my life."

"How about now," Twilight inquired, "How do you feel?"

"Honestly? Not much different. Once you get to a place like that, I don't think there's a way to come back - not fully, anyway."

"Did you ever...Ya know...Attempt...?"

"No. Somehow I barely hung on by a thread. If I knew how, I'd tell ya."

"All that matters is your here. You went through the darkest journey anyone can and came out on the other side. That's a testament to your resilience."

"Does it really matter, though? Yeah, I came out of it - broken and mangled almost beyond recognition. If it wasn't for the mane and fur, no one could've told you it was me."

"It's true. You're not the same person anymore. You're in the process of reinventing yourself. You've suffered, but you also care more than anyone I've ever seen. Most never grow beyond a certain threshold, but those limits were never placed on you. You were free to be and do anything. You just didn't know how because your past was holding you back. You could've come to see us any time."

"You all had your own lives to lead. I guess I felt like there was no room for me anymore."

"We would've dropped everything to make sure you were okay. Why would you even doubt that?"

"Because by then, I already needed more help than you could give. Even if I'd visited every so often, I would've left feeling just as bad. I couldn't just barge in and demand a place in your lives. That wouldn't be fair."

"Maybe that unwillingness to compromise was part of what we loved about you."

"To a point, I get it, but not like this. An emotionally unstable individual isn't someone you want around when things are going well. I kept to myself hoping I could either recover or let you guys find me. There was no real alternative to mitigate the situation. It was out of our control."

"What about therapy? There were people who could've helped you better than us."

"People I didn't know. Being emotionally involved with clients is discouraged for a reason. At least talking to you, there was a better chance I'd get through. An impartial third party can only be so invested. If anything, we would've destroyed each other. It wasn't a case of broken chemical receptors. It was just life doing its thing. I had no chance of fighting back from the get-go. I tried, but the weight was too crushing."

"Yet you fought back every day, learning ways to cope and creating works of art that'll last a lifetime. You aren't as weak as you think."

"Certainly feels like it..."

"Tell you what. We have enough time for one more go. Why don't we try this again with a bit more focus?"

"I really don't think I can..."

"I think otherwise. It's clear to me your mind's been working against you for some time. Stop letting it dictate how you feel and tell it what you want to feel."

"Twilight's right," Noah chimed in, "Maybe it's time to let the world hear what you have to say. There's more people who relate than you think."

Rainbow sighed again.

"Fine. Fuck it. No reason not to, right."

"There we go! That's more like it!

The group set up their instruments again: this time with a clear goal. Rainbow chose a song that more accurately reflected reality. The music was less chaotic, driven primarily by a mix of traditional and odd time signatures.

"DIG THIS HOLE STRAIGHT BELOW THE EARTH! DRIVE THIS STAKE STRAIGHT THROUGH A FRACTURED CHEST! TIME IS A VAMPIRE, DRAINING BLOOD FROM ALL! SCREAMS OF THE PAST ECHO EACH OTHER'S NAMES, LEAVING US TO DROWN IN A RIVER OF REGRET! SEE HER TREMBLE, LOST AMIDST THE WAVES! WITH ONE SMALL STEP, SHE SEEKS THE LIGHT AT THE END!"

Spike bobbed his head. The lyrics were easier to understand with the more precise structure. They told the story of a girl traveling through worlds of lost souls. Rainbow's descriptions detailed oceans simultaneously obeying and disregarding physics. It was a unique concept hidden between the crevices of a disenchanted generation. This was the song they would remember - the one they would send to their friends.