Reprobate of Inflation

by SirSirloin

Rating: mature
Tags: Alternate Universe, Porn, Fetish, Spike, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Rarity, Fluttershy, Twilight Sparkle, Anthro, Profanity, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 8098

ODDS OF SUCCESS: Don't be silly.

GOAL
Pump up the Elements of Harmony until they burst, leaving their cutie marks to be claimed as trophies.

OPERATIVE
Rainbow 'Rouge' Dash, alternate universe thrill seeker, treasure hunter, and uninhibited inflation fetishist.

ODDS OF SUCCESS
Don't be silly.

Inflation commission, user wishes to remain anonymous but the story is shared with their permission. Includes hypnotism, nudity, whacky body inflating high jinks, and a weird kind of karma. Cover art is a crappy manip of actual art by Lettuce, made by yours truly because it was the best I could do.

Rouge Dash custom fic commission info available here.

Published 2024-02-07 09:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2024-02-07 09:30:01 UTC

Reprobate of Inflation

It was a beautiful night in Ponyville, which suited Rainbow “Rouge” Dash. After all, she was after something beautiful. Somepony beautiful. Gems and diamonds, she could get any time. She was Equestria’s greatest treasure hunter, after all. But she was also a mare, a mischievous one at that, and mares have needs.

She bypassed the security on Carousel Boutique’s delivery entrance so easily she may as well have been sleepwalking. She briefly wondered if she should assure Rarity the security system which she’d paid so much for was perfectly fine, she’d just been hit by the best thief in the world…but dismissed it with a wicked grin. Rarity would have much, much bigger problems then her frenemy thief breaking into her place of business. And not for any of the lovely jewels the fashionista used in her creations.

Dash slipped through the entrance, easily avoided Rarity’s camera system, and then flapped her wings as silently as any falling feather to send herself up the boutique’s stairwell and land outside Rarity’s bedroom door. No lock to pick. Those Elements of Harmony, sooooo trusting!

Other than using a squirt of grease on the hinges from a tube, stashed along with all sorts of other useful little tools in secret pockets sewen into the cuffs of her gloves and boots, all Dash had to do to ensure maximum silence was carefully pull Rarity’s door open and slip her lithe, athletic body in all its latex cat-suited glory into the boudoir of her best and certainly most glamorous friend in the Elements.

Dash was a Pegasus, a species gifted with the sharp eyesight of birds, and had been trained to work in the darkness of the deepest treasure tombs beneath Equestria’s surface, so navigating Rarity’s dark bedroom by only the light of the moon was a cakewalk. Dash only paused in her duties because the snoring Rarity had rolled over in her sheets, inadvertently falling out of her dressing gown and giving Dash a wonderful view of her fabulous naked body. Dash admired Rarity’s exposed breasts, idly wondering if the fashionista had ever considered a career in opera, since she had the chest for it.

Ah, but business before pleasure. Although her business here was going to be so pleasurable the only thing Dash could think of that might be better would be Rarity becoming bicurious, so they could develop a really fun relationship. Not that she hadn’t enjoyed gossip, coffee, and swapping compliments with the poshest Element, but she’d decided it was time to own them. Not the magical rocks, which she could swipe from that silly tree anytime she wanted, but the mares themselves. And they needed to be storage sized.

Plus, Dash was going to get such a lovely, hot kick out of this.

Dash quietly unzipped the backpack she’d brought with her and got to work, attaching the hose of an old-fashioned looking pump device to Rarity’s horn. “Mmm-hrrr…?” Rarity mumbled in her sleep, mildly disturbed by the pop of the tube slipping over her horn.

“You’re dreaming about trying on Rainbow’s outfit, darling,” Dash whispered hypnotically into her ear, smirking. “It feels so lovely, like wearing a big, sexy balloon and it makes such wonderful noises when you move. No wonder she’s such a tease, and now you can be too.”

“Mmph-w’gh,” Rarity burbled happily, rolling over as she lapsed into this new fantasy, her brain now full of brilliant white spotlights flashing off her black, latex clad curves. She could even smell Rainbow’s perfume, adding to the vividness of her dream. All those envious, lustful eyes on her in her latex, glistening and popping and squeaking as she moved…

Those would be her brain translating the rapid squeaks of Dash vigorously operating the handle of her pump. The masturbatory aspect of the motion wasn’t lost on the Pegasus, and she even relished it. The air hissed in rapid bursts, beginning to reach a crescendo. Rarity’s left breast squeaked as it began to inflate, then her right one joined in. She adjusted herself in her sleep, rolling over so her washboard stomach, now rising into a rubbery belly, faced the ceiling.

Her ear flicked slightly at the ripping sound of her dressing gown being torn apart by her expanding mass mixing with the now constant hiiiiiisssss of air filling her body. Dash adored Rarity’s hourglass figure, but it was soooooo awesome to watch a set of love handles swell out of her sides before spilling over and merging with the perfect sphere of her belly…

Rarity’s right arm, bulging into a lovely lump, rolls of inflated skin around her wrist flattening into one solid mass, knocked her antique lamp off her bedside table. With a t’wink sound the straps of her sleeping mask snapped free, now too thin and feeble to stay in place on her growing balloon of a head. Rarity’s lips had inflated too, all lovely and red, giving her an absolutely perfect confused bimbo expression as her eyes fluttered open.

“Hmm? Wha—?”

“You’re having a dream and uncovering a repressed fetish, darling,” Dash smirked. “Go back to sleep.”

“Ah, right you are…” Rarity’s murmured happily, and closed her eyes just in time for her expanding nose to touch the ceiling of her bedroom. Then she burst.

Dash had been prepared for exactly this, but it was still a shock and so therefore a huge rush. The air filled with a cloud of the very essence of Rarity, smelling of her perfume and hair and cunt mixed with the smell of balloons, all of it slamming into Dash’s face the instant the fashionista popped. Dash had never felt or smelt anything so incredible, this was even better than the first time she’d pulled on some latex.

“Beautiful…” she murmured as she watched scraps of Rarity dance about in the air before wafting gently downwards, mixed with the smells and thousands of little multicoloured moats twinkling in the air, dancing among the scraps. She casually held out one of her gloved hands and caught the reason she’d come here: the largest scrap of Rarity, with her cutie mark.

“Guess they’ll be calling you Trophy from now on, darling,” she chuckled as she gathered some more white and purple scraps and slipped them all into a glass canister with Rarity’s name gilded onto the front. One down…

***

Spike knocked on the door, still enjoying the thrill of getting to do that, just walk up to a pony as perfect as Rarity and be ushered into her home. What would’ve been even better? If they’d been alone…

“Rarity!” Pinkie Pie chirruped, jumping all around trying to peer in through the boutique’s windows. “Rarity, you awake yet? I smell burst balloons! Are you having a balloon bursting party without me?! What gives? Other than a balloon, I presume. Rarity!”

The door opened and Spike was disappointed that it wasn’t Rarity who answered, but also hit with a whole new wave of enthusiasm. “R-Rainbow Dash? Uh, I-I mean Ms. Dash…”

“Spike!” the treasure huntress cooed, reaching down to take him by the shoulders and accelerating his pulse rate. “I’d swear you get taller and more handsome every time I see you! And such manners! Ms. Dash, indeed! You can call me Rainbow if you like, darling.”

Spike loved Rarity deep in his heart of hearts, but he wasn’t made of stone: he liked classy ladies and Ms. Da—Rainbow had almost as much class as Rarity and walked around dressed like, well, like how she was dressed. He couldn’t help taking in the sight of her suit under what looked like Rarity’s dressing gown. Her coat, her mane, her eyes, her voice, her suit, Spike knew the Elements didn’t always approve of the thief, but he couldn’t get enough of their semifrequent team ups. Spike was a good boy, or at least he tried to be, but Rainbow Dash was so…bad he couldn’t help but have certain fantasies.

“Oh, hey there, Rainbow,” Pinkie said, bouncing up to the front step and shaking the thief’s hand. “You see Rarity? I smell something that might be balloon popping and that counts as party pooping, and Pinkie Pie prides herself on being a professional party scooper.”

Dash blinked then hastily tried to resume her usual sultry smile. “Ah, Rarity’s working on a custom order for me, darling. More latex, which does smell a bit strong, yes. She’s stepped out for the day to pick up more materials in Canterlot—and taken all her best gems with her, though I’m sure she isn’t trying to offend yours truly—so I’m just waiting around here until she gets back. I’m surprised to see you, honestly.”

“I do surprise a lotta ponies,” Pinkie smiled. “Why?”

“You mean you haven’t heard about that abandoned dairy on the edge of town?”

“Oh that! Yeah, crying shame, hope somepony buys it someday, it’s a such a waste. “

“I know, right?” Dash sighed, leaning against the doorframe as if heartbroken. “All that lovely vanilla cream filling going to waste in those tanks. I hear they may have to drain it next week if somepony doesn’t use it all up!”

“Excuse me,” a pink cloud said over the sound of a gunshot. Spike blinked, watching as a dust trail with Pinkie’s fringe sticking out of it zoomed up some hills.

“Ah, finally,” Dash purred, surprising him by sliding one of her gloved fingers under his chin and stroking it. “All alone with the dragon of my dreams…”

“Um,” Spike mumbled, fighting to keep himself under control. “Uh, th-that is, thanks M…thanks, Rainbow. You, uh, you look beautiful today…I mean, not that you don’t always! Every day! That is…”

“Don’t worry, hon,” Dash chuckled, pulling him closer, “I know what you mean.”

“Y-y-y-you do…?”

“Spike, I’ve been trained to notice the most cutting-edge security. You think I haven’t noticed all those little looks you’ve sneaked when I’m working with your friends? It’s flattering, really!” She pulled him even closer, making Spike gasp as he felt his chest pressing against her cleavage. Dash pouted, stroking the side of his face. “And it must be soooo hard for you, pining for Rarity and me at the same time! Well, don’t worry, I’m going to solve that problem for you today.”

“W-what problem?” Spike mumbled.

“Which of us you’re going to simp for, you silly boy!”

“O-oh,” was all Spike could think to say. “Um. H-how’re you gonna do that…?

“Like this,” Dash purred, producing a very, very shiny pocket watch from her glove cuff and starting to swing it slowly, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth…

***

“I don’t buy it,” Twilight Sparkle said flatly.

“Awww c’mon, Princess,” Rainbow teased, striking an even more sensual pose as she lounged in one of the castle library’s armchairs. “Even the best and worst of treasure hunters must do research. And who’s better at research than you?”

“I understand that completely,” Twilight retorted. “I meant I don’t buy that you just came here to get me to look up some old temples for you. You’re up to something, Rainbow Dash.”

“Moi?” the Pegasus cooed, putting one hand to her breastplate and batting her eyelashes in ‘shock’.

“Oui,” Twilight countered cooly. “You’re perfectly capable of doing your own research. You’ve only ever come to me when you need either a patsy or somepony you can guilt into helping you get out of a jam, which you wouldn’t be in if you’d only grow up and use your talents for good, instead of petty thieving.”

Dash kept smiling but her eyes narrowed. She was going to enjoy this just that little bit more. “I don’t think I’m the one being petty right now, Twilight.”

“Ugh, fair,” Twilight sighed. “Whatever gets you out of here sooner. What’re you looking for?”

“The Ancient Artefacts Almanac, if you would be so good,” Dash drawled, looking imperiously in the other direction and vaguely waving her hand at the uppermost shelf.

Twilight sighed irritably, more at the Pegasus’ attitude than the simple task, and walked over to a hoof-stool to stand on, extending the range of her horn’s already considerable magical field to make sure she could grab the hefty tome with her mind on the first try. She knew where it was without looking and, as she’d said, she wanted the thief out of here as soon as possible.

Twilight respected Dash’s talents…when they weren’t being used against her, which was possible in any given situation involving the thief. She even respected the pony herself, kind of…when she was being a person instead of a thief, and frustratingly the two states didn’t seem to be mutually exclusive.

Maybe I ought to go back to that Nightmare Moon book. I know there’s only five Elements of Harmony but there must be some way to make one for loyalty. Then we’d have somepony to keep mares like Rainbow in line.

“While I’m young, Princess,” Dash called mockingly.

Twilight growled to herself, but the cocky bitch was right, this was taking longer than it should. She channelled her magic again and again, and the almanac obstinately refused to levitate!

“Problem?” Dash teased. Twilight glared over her shoulder to see the thief smirking at her, one hand propped under her chin. Dash gave her one of those winks that always made Twilight blush.

“Not at the moment,” she mumbled and turned back to the shelf, pouring more and more and more magic into her horn. She could feel it flowing through her like it always did but for some stupid reason her magical field wouldn’t reach the book! She squeezed her eyes shut, a mix of concentrating harder and not wanting to see Rainbow Dash’s smug face as she failed to do something even a little filly could do, and focused so much that her cheeks began to turn magenta.

Dash put a glove over her mouth to muffle the building laughter she wasn’t sure she’d be able to keep down for long. Twilight was now wafting slightly off the floor from fury and her wings were flapping faster and faster as they got smaller and smaller from the swelling that started in Twilight’s hips and began to fill her chest. All that power, all that effort, all that training…and the smartest pony Dash had ever met still hadn’t realised the thief had slipped an enchanted cork over her horn.

She’d borrowed the cork from Discord’s personal collection, the old snake delighted at the prank she wanted to pull and happy to lend it to her. It had been created to cork bottles and lamps that contained genies, blocking the magic of a Unicorn turned into an Alicorn was no problem.

“Problem, Princess?” she asked sweetly as the fabric of Twilight’s sensible indigo and orange sweater began to rip.

“None, thank you,” Twilight growled even as her ass swelled right out of her pants, ripping the crotch so hard that the legs slipped right off her new thunder thighs, the strips of her torn underwear dropping seconds behind them, her belly now almost the size of her balloon and pushing her double-D (and growing!) sized breasts up and out of her bra.

She squeezed her eyes shut again and began to concentrate so hard every inch of her parade balloon body shuddered as it floated off the floor, bouncing gently off the shelves. She opened one eye, realising she was further away from the one she needed, snarled, and reached out with more magic, her belly swelling so violently her head, now the size of one of her breasts, sunk into her expanding violent folds…

Unable to stop herself from laughing, Rainbow Dash overturned her couch, crawled under it, and pulled a cushion over her head. The sound of Twilight’s body finally bursting sounded just as grumpy as the princess herself. Even under her makeshift cover Dash felt the hammer of air, which flipped the couch back over and made Dash laugh even harder. She accidentally inhaled some of Twilight’s scraps and coughed, which she found just as hilarious. She realised Twilight’s remains weren’t just purple scraps but also included feathers from her wings, and toppled to the floor, hugging her catsuit covered stomach and her breastplate heaving as she laughed and laughed and laughed, her boots kicking involuntarily at the air.

When she’d finally gotten control of herself, she sighed happily and sat up, flapping her wings to make a little breeze to stop Twilight’s bits sticking to her. She hunted until she found what she was looking for: the biggest bit of Twilight, with her cutie mark on it.

“Thanks for the laugh, Twilight,” she smirked, slipping the scrap into a canister and sealing it. “Two down.”

***

A few minutes ago, Pinkie Pie had jumped right over the chain-link fence surrounding an old factory building on the outskirts of Ponyville. The old, abandoned bakery. She’d run rings around the building until finding a door that wasn’t locked, racing inside. She looked around until she spotted an enormous tank with the logo for her favourite brand of vanilla cream on it.

“Come to mama,” she’d grinned, too crazed by hunger to notice the metal of the tank was shiner than its aging cousins, the logo looking like it had only been decaled on yesterday. The only thing on Pinkie’s mind was the sweet taste that reminded her of all her favourite childhood desserts.

A veteran of such equipment, she’d grabbed the nozzle designed to feed a controlled stream of the cream over an assembly line of waiting cake layers and fastened her lips to it, clutching its housing with both hands as she kicked frantically at the control panel to activate the process. The whole tank rumbled, shuddered, and then began to hum consistently as it vacuumed its precious filling along its feeding tubes. Pinkie had noted a slight tase that strangely reminded her of Derpy Hooves, which was gloriously drowned out by the sweet, sweet taste of vanilla cream.

The reason that first taste reminded her of everybody’s favourite mail pony was that Derpy smelled of things found in the post office. Like the specific brand of magical glue used to seal magical packages. Which Rainbow Dash had coated the nozzle with to keep Pinkie’s lips in place, just in case she pulled away from the nozzle before the magical addiction potion she’d stirred into the vanilla cream had any effect.

This was why, when Rainbow Dash dropped gracefully down through a broken skylight, she was pleased to see Pinkie Pie where she’d expected the party pony to be: mindlessly stuck to the nozzle of that tanker, pulling in gallon after gallon of tasty vanilla cream, and already so bloated that her clothes had burst open. The rags still clung to the wobbling balloon that was Pinkie’s torso and ass, but that wouldn’t be a problem, she’d rip right through them soon enough. Along with the rusting steel beams of this dump, if Dash had her way. And she would.

“Doing okay, Pinkie?” she asked sweetly, sashaying around the rim of pink presence to check on the party pony’s head. Still normal sized, even with Pinkie’s bulging cheeks, and the blue spirals in her drooping, sleepy eyes.

“Mmmmuuugh…” Pinkie mumbled, muffled by the gently shaking nozzle glued to her lips.

“Glad to hear it,” Dash assured, giving the closest part of Pinkie she could reach and gentle pat. She bit her lip as a lovely ripple spread across the party pony’s bulbous body then planted a kiss on Pinkie’s cheek and flew out the window. She could leave this a few minutes longer. She knew she could count on Spike, so that just left her one last visit…

***

Applejack was enjoying a short break against one of her orchard tree’s trunks when she saw the rainbow. She’d been hard at work in the fields and was in the middle of admiring the new rows she’d ploughed today, wishing she could do even more. “Oh boy,” she muttered to herself as she watched the rainbow contrail sweep through the skies overhead. “There goes trouble.”

Rainbow ‘Rouge’ Dash back in town. Where she went, trouble followed and that was the truth. The truth was also that Applejack had the major hots for the thief, and that the feeling was mutual and neither of them regretted it when their shouting matches turned into intense make out sessions and glorious hook ups. It was just also true that Rainbow was a thief, a mercenary, and a snob to rival Rarity on her worst day.

It was also-also true that one of the best birthday-presents AJ had ever received, next to another senses shattering roll in the sheets with Dash, was a copy of the thief’s latex suit she’d left beside her lover’s pillow when she’d left in the night. AJ still even kept the box it had come in.

So, if ol’ RD was in town it could mean anything from somepony about to lose all their valuables, the world was in so much danger the Elements had to team up with her again, or the Pegasus was going to try one of those dad-blamed scams of hers. Hell, she could even just be flying over town on her way to pull some shit in Canterlot. Wouldn’t be the first time Princess Celestia, who hired Dash as often as she put up wanted posters of the Pegasus, had called in the Elements for some Rainbow related fiasco. All Applejack could be sure of was that she was probably going to get in another shouting match with the Pegasus, they’d both remember they found each other beautiful when they were angry, and fuck like Angel on PCP.

She turned as she heard footsteps coming up the path over the Acres fence, and her pensive expression became a genuine smile. “Howdy, Spike. C’mon over. Nice duds!”

“Thanks, AJ,” the dragon grinned as she clambered over the fence. He was indeed wearing a nice, crisp black tuxedo. At first the workhorse thought he’d grown a second set of wings, but realised he was carrying some kind of equipment on his back that put her in mind of a butterfly crossbred with an accordion.

“Twilight hosting a symposium I don’t know about?” Applejack joked.

“No, I just need to look my best for my new calling,” Spike said, his voice sounding a little dreamy. “Are you alright? You look tired.”

“Yeah,” Applejack sighed, frowning at her rows again. “Years’re startin’ to catch up to me, I guess. I been workin’ since before dawn an’ I haven’t even managed to do half the orchard yet. Keep needin’ to stop an’ catch my breath.”

“That’s why I’m here,” Spike explained. “Mistress thought I could help you with that.”

“Uh…Twilight thinks I need help?” Who else could he be talking about? AJ sure hoped he was just being weirdly formal, and she wasn’t learning something that went on in Castle Friendship she maybe didn’t wanna know.

“…Twilight…right!” Spike said, quickly pulling the equipment off his back. AJ now recognised it as a pair of old timey bellows that had to be almost as old as Granny. “This is from her lab! We know how important stamina is to you, so we figure the enchantments in this could give you more oxygen, keep you working for longer.”

Applejack stroked her chin thoughtfully, looking between the bellows and her plough, a large metal monster of a thing she could easily pull by hand. Pulling wasn’t the problem, keeping up the work was.

“Well,” she mused, “I guess it…wouldn’t technically be magic on the farm, just magic in me. Like a kinda fancy inhaler. Aww what the heck, sure Spike, hit me!”

“Open wide,” Spike smiled, and popped the nozzle of his bellows into Applejack’s mouth. “Say when!”

Slightly taken aback but committed, Applejack gave a thumbs up. Spike snapped the bellows open, pushing the flaps as wide as they’d go. The motion and sudden rush of air forced Applejack onto her knees. She blushed a little as she wondered what it must look like she was doing to the teen dragon from a different, obscuring angle.

Spike began to rapidly pump the bellows, his grin becoming wider, his eyes glassier. AJ herself began to zone out to the whooshing of the bellows filling and emptying, finding It oddly soothing. Even the rapid squeaking was kinda relaxing. Something began to nag at her, a feeling like she’d forgotten something important. She did feel more oxygen in her lungs, minty and cool, so much that even having the nozzle plugging up her mouth wasn’t giving her any breathing problems.

She felt her hat beginning to fall off and irritably reached up to push it back on. Her arm felt oddly heavier than it should, and she looked at it as she lowered it. Her emerald eyes bugged, from a mix of shock and how much air was now filling her head. The muscles in her arms were undulating, inflating, starting to merge and expand into one massive stump, her tiny fingers wiggling uselessly on the sides of a hand now more of a rubber ball! She looked down as her belly and hips ripped through her jeans, her belt coming away with a twang noise.

Applejack began to let out muffled sounds of shock, trying to sit up, her legs pawing at the ground as her feet popped out of her boots, kicking uselessly as they began to rise into the air, now two balloons dragging her into an even more helpless position. She squawked as her breasts burst through her shirt, though the still grinning Spike didn’t seem to be looking at anything.

AJ’s ballooning torso forced her arms out to her sides as her legs and ass burst out of her jeans. She waved her hands frantically, her eyes going wider beyond just being shocked as her head began to beat like a heart, swelling larger each time, her hat seeming to shrink on top of her head. She’d come to a mortifying realisation: how was she gonna tell Spike ‘when’ if her mouth was full?!

This was the last thought she had before her medicine ball sized head pressed into a parade float sized mass of rubbery skin that had once been her shoulder blades, and she burst into a flurry of orange and blonde scraps that smelled, naturally, like apples.

***

Rainbow Dash smirked in satisfaction, standing in her high heels on a cloud with her arms folded, as her Pegasus vision perfectly adjusted for the swirling mess that had once been her favourite Element. She’d miss those hot, furious nights with Applejack, but she had many lovers and finding another puffed up—Dash giggle-snorted at her own inadvertent pun—honest type who couldn’t resist their libido wouldn’t be that hard.

“Good boy,” she murmured to herself, impressed as she watched Spike walk right into the still hazy air where AJ had been to snag the scraps with her cutie mark and seal them in a canister. Spike looked around, picked up Applejack’s hat, and flapped into the air with his prizes, one under each arm. If Dash returned home to find he’d cleaned the shards of farmgirl off his tux she’d really be impressed.

She turned her head, slightly surprised at something she’d caught out of the corner of her eye. From up here she could see almost all the way to Canterlot, and a large pink mass had just sprouted into existence on the outskirts of Ponyville. Shielding her eyes from the sun with a gloved hand to her brow, Dash squinted, zooming her vision in on it. Pinkie Pie’s ass had just burst through the rear wall of the old bakery, her tail reduced to a tiny flag flapping on top of her cheeks before they merged into one solid lump.

Dash sighed happily at the sight, retrieved her custom phone from the cuff of her left boot and texted Spike to get over there and wait. She had a plan for him now. She looked over her shoulder, smirking as her vision saw her new butler look at his phone, then turn in the complete opposite direction he’d been flying, a look of grim determination on his glassy eyed face. Obeying his mistress was the teenage reptile’s entire reason for existing now, and Dash was going to get the most of him. The most service, the most devotion, the most entertainment value.

“Very good boy,” she purred, reaching down to pull a briefcase out of the cloud.

***

“I’m sorry, could you repeat that?” Fluttershy asked.

She had fond but mixed feelings about Rainbow Dash, who was still always welcome in her cottage any time. They both had fond memories and a bit of a bond left from their time at flight camp. Dash had helped the Elements save the world beyond mere self-preservation because of it. But it was still hard for Fluttershy to reconcile the rambunctious tomboy she’d known with the almost totally ruthless thief and borderline exhibitionist sitting on her couch.

She knew Dash had a heart underneath all the flirting, violence and cold-blooded mercenary cunning. It was just that snakes did too, and Fluttershy respected what snakes could be.

“Oh, sorry hon,” Dash said, putting down the cup of coffee she’d accepted and clearing her throat. “Do this for my social medias and I’ll donate fifty million gems to your animal friends!”

“That’s a lot of money,” Fluttershy said, blushing slightly at both how obvious that was to say and because Dash had just crossed her booted legs over each other.

The other Pegasus had always had the natural beauty of her mane and coat, but wherever she’d picked up that outfit of hers (probably the same place she’d picked up her insatiable hunger for treasure and hedonism) had taken her to an entirely different level. One she’d excitedly asked Fluttershy to “party” on with her, during the Element of Kindness’ modelling days. She’d always be glad she’d found the courage to turn Dash down, but, well, it was hard to ignore how shiny and sinewy her old friend was.

“Not to me,” Dash chuckled. “I’ll earn it back in less than a year of jobs and hell, not like I’d starve in the meantime. Plus, it’s a total win-win! You get to do what you do best and help all those innocent animals, while I get the satisfaction of knowing I did a major good deed the next time Twilight and Applejack decide it’s been a hot minute since they gave me a lecture.”

“You’ve had…worse reasons, I suppose,” Fluttershy chuckled. “And I guess it’s not like I have to actually watch the video. Promise you won’t share my email or anything?”

“Cross my heart and hope to…however the rest of Pinkie’s little pantomime goes,” Dash promised, waving her hand dismissively. “Is that a yes? For old time’s sake?”

There was a slight edge in the thief’s voice Fluttershy liked to think only she could recognize. Not pleading, Rainbow Dash would never do that unless she was well and truly out of options, but sometimes her old friend would make strange offers like this and get that sound in her voice. As if she were trying to brace for the disappointment of Fluttershy saying no, which she had a few times. But it was why Fluttershy still held out hope of Rainbow reforming someday. She was one of the few ponies in this world the ruthless treasure hunter was loyal to.

Or so Fluttershy thought, which shows what she knew.

“Oh…why not?” she decided, beaming. “It might even be fun.”

Dash let out a Rarity-worth squeal of delight, springing up to hug the startled veterinarian and kiss both her cheeks. Fluttershy burst into surprised but genuine laughter, the pair of them hugging and jumping in place for a bit before Dash finally extracted her equipment from the briefcase. It was some kind of pumping machine.

“Okay, okay,” Dash chanted excitedly after it was set up and she was readying her phone, “ready?”

“M’gh’-hu’gh,” Fluttershy managed, the tube of a hose connected to a helium canister in her mouth. It was awkward to stand holding it in place, but she was managing that two.

“Alright, BFF Huff ‘n’ Puff challenge, take one, in three…” Dash held up that many fingers of her free hand while steadying her phone with the other. The recording light above its camera pulsed pleasantly as she lowered each finger for the count. “Two…one…action!”

Action indeed. As soon as Dash delivered a sharp kick to the canister it began pouring its contents into Fluttershy’s mouth, so hard that soon her wings began to involuntarily flap. It was very silly, but she just focused on all the good this silly social media bit would do.

Fifty million for her animals. Making Dash happy, maybe more open to a life where she didn’t just steal things for kicks. Everypony important to her finally getting along. Her veterinary staff living slightly less stressful lives for a good long while.

It all came surprisingly easy, focusing on it through the constant motion of her arms. The constant, soothing blinking of Dash’s phone…the nice…soothing…green…light…

It overwhelmed her so much she completely forgot that Dash had never specified what the time limit was for the challenge. Or to worry.

Rainbow Dash was equally hypnotised, willingly and unable to look away, as she stared at her beautiful old friend over the top of her phone. She was holding it steady as she watched Fluttershy’s head and torso undulate, swell, even keeping her composure when Fluttershy’s breasts punched through her shirt, her bra shredding like wet tissue paper. She’d always have the video and she could have ordered Spike to do this just as easily, but it was Fluttershy. She had to be here, as it happened. Watching it through her phones camera just wouldn’t be the same.

She stared into the vacant look of Fluttershy’s enlarging pupils as the yellow mare’s head ballooned perfectly, her pink fringe falling almost coquettishly across one. Dash bit her lip as the distorted shimmer of her reflection began to dance in both those perfect green eyes…

Fluttershy’s hips finally swelled through her jeans, sending them to the floor in pieces as her underwear snapped loose and tumbled to the floor like a concussed snake. Her perfectly round ass, rival to Dash’s own, rose into the air as both cheeks expanded, taking her new thunder thighs with them. Eventually her hands fell away from the hose, now stuck between her bulbous slips, her arms swept to the sides of her perfectly circular torso, her fingers shrinking into the bulbous tubes of her inflating hands merging with her wrists and arms.

Fluttershy’s back, or perhaps hemisphere would be a better word, bounced against the ceiling of her cottage as her naked yellow balloon body wafted off the floor. Her head began to shrink backwards into the mound of her body, and there was a brief scrapping noise as this dragged the helium canister along her floor before it too was dangling off the ground, swaying slightly. Dash couldn’t look away.

Soon, she was staring at a perfectly round yellow ball, a single tuft of pink hair draped across its front. And then Fluttershy finally burst.

The force was so like the Pegasus herself, gentle and sweet smelling, the scraps of her body swirling in the air, so bright it was like a sun made of a million fireflies had manifested in her living room. Dash sank to her knees, her mane and tail still billowing slightly from the force of the burst, her eyes briefly squeezed shut as she sucked in the magnificent smell of her old friend mixed with that of a balloon.

She watched the scraps dance and drift for a few minutes, then finally shut off her phone, stood up and walked into the still shimmering air where Fluttershy had been standing, breathing in more of that amazing scent. She found what she was looking for and gently reached out to pinch it out of the air.

“Thank you, my darling,” she whispered reverently to Fluttershy’s cutie mark. She slipped it into its canister, then held up her phone, tapping through screens until she had transferred fifty million from her offshore accounts into the animal sanctuary’s account. “A promise is a promise.”

She used a feature on the canister that turned into a vacuum to suck up the rest of Fluttershy and made sure to lock the door behind her when she left, in memory of the Element of Kindness, the only one she’d ever respected. She sighed happily, fondly patting the bag she was using to carry her canisters, aiming for Flutteshy’s specifically, then turned to the horizon and focused her razor-sharp eyes on a pink blob in the distance only she knew to look for. Her beautiful face broke into a wolfish, sneering smile.

“Five down.”

***

Pinkie Pie might now be a shuddering, Goodyear blimp sized wad of bubble gum pink rubber spreading to cover the flattened remains of the old bakery, and Spike a grinning, straight backed minion in a butler’s suit staring at nothing, but they had this in common: there were absolutely no thoughts going through their minds right now.

Spike’s predicament was the basic result of Rainbow’s mesmerism, turning the lovestruck dragon into an empty, happy, obedient puppet. Pinkie’s was slightly more elaborate and expensive: Dash had mixed addictive alchemy potions into her vanilla cream, as well as enchanting the super glue she’d used on the nozzle to make Pinkie’s lips feel like they were being perpetually kissed, in addition to keeping her mouth in place.

Dash had meant to elegantly cruise down onto the scene, but she couldn’t help it, the sight of both her allies-cum-trophies was so hilarious she burst into laughter, dropping onto her high heels sooner than she’d meant to. Spike caught her by the arm as she wobbled slightly.

“Heh, knew keeping you around would be a good idea,” Dash managed, forcing down a giggle fit.

“Yes, mistress. Thank you, mistress.”

“Umbrella.”

Spike obeyed, handing her one. The grin never left his face as he followed his Mistress, strutting while she causally spun her new umbrella, past the small Manehattan avenue’s worth of pink balloon until she finally found Pinkie Pie’s head, now the size of Twilight’s hot air balloon, bulging against the tank. She raised an eyebrow, impressed despite herself at how low the gauges were, then looked up into Pinkie’s half lidded, glassy blue eye, the only one visible on this side of the small parade balloon that was the party pony’s head.

“What do we think, honey-pie?” she sneered. “From a prank rating of one to ten.”

“Mmmmm…” Pinkie mumbled, her eye rolling up to better stare drowsily into nothing.

“And I thought Rarity was generous,” Dash chuckled, condescendingly patting Pinkie’s queen-sized check and making her entire head wobble. She planted a kiss on it, leaving a lipstick mark and smacking her lips fondly at the taste. “Spike.”

“Yes, mistress!” Her butler sprang to attention, saluting and clicking his spat covered heels together.

“Two birds with one stone,” Dash said as she fiddled with her umbrella to get it open. “You’re gonna count to ten…” She looked up at Pinkie’s head then along the length of her factory sized torso. “…mmm, no, to twenty for me, then dig your claws into whichever part of Pinkie you can reach.”

“Yes, mistress,” her simp grinned. “One…”

Rainbow Dash, Equestria’s greatest jewel thief and prankster supreme, soon to be owner of the Elements of Harmony and the living embodiment of Pegasus beauty and cunning, spun on her boot heels and ran like fuck to better launch herself into the air, flying as far away from Pinkie Pie as she could without reaching Rainboom making speeds. She dived behind a convenient boulder, slipped a pair of ear muffs over her head, and finally managed to get her umbrella open.

“Eighteen…nineteen…twenty,” Spike concluded happily, and jabbed a claw into what had probably once been Pinkie Pie’s neck.

The force almost reached Canterlot. Only half the windows in Ponyville survived. Even Rainbow’s boulder was almost picked up and hurled into Celestia’s foyer. She kept her eyes shut, heart hammering behind her breastplate (although as with Fluttershy she did find Pinkie’s scent pleasing, reminiscent of a few birthday parties she especially cherished) as the earth shook under her million-bit ass.

After counting to ten herself, the thief risked opening one eye. Some trees were still swaying in the distance, but the immediate area seemed calm enough. She peeked over her boulder, tossing away her cream covered, ragged umbrella, and blinked at the sight before her. A falling galaxy of pink scraps was tumbling onto what little was left of the bakery ruins. As Dash watched a patina of them began to cover the battered vanilla cream tank, turning it into a pink cylinder. They even began to coat the three still standing beams, making what should’ve been a melancholy war photo look rather festive.

“Spike?” Dash called as she approached.

“Under here, mistress,” came a muffled reply. Dash reached out with a boot toe and used it to casually remove a pile of pink rubble. Spike grinned up her, still in his tux and now flat as one of the hardwood floorboards in Dash’s Manehattan penthouse. The force of Pinkie’s burst and the falling masonry had done what she’d hoped: made her butler easier to package.

“Good boy,” Dash said casually, producing one of the art tubes she used to smuggle stolen paintings. “I’ll inflate you whenever I feel like being pampered.”

“Yes, mistress,” Spike said happily as she peeled him off the dirt, rolled him up, and stuffed him into the tube. Dash wondered briefly if she should’ve left him intact so he could pick up Pinkie’s trophy scrap, but oh well. She flapped her wings and rose into the swirling pink mess, searching.

***

The first thing Rainbow Dash did when she got back to her headquarters was to take a quick shower then make herself some coffee. She hung the grinning, mindless, flattened Spike on a cupboard door, then strutted into her newly furnished trophy room. The cutie marks of all five Elements of Harmony shimmered in their canisters, the equal of any of the gold and jewels in Dash’s collection.

Rainbow Dash looked up at all that was left of her former allies and burst out laughing, her chest heaving and making the light on her breastplate dance magnificently as she wrapped her gloved arms around her torso and laughed so hard her wings almost feel off. She snickered and wiped some tears from her eyes before strutting closer to get a better look.

“Fuck, I’m good,” she cooed, looking past the trophies to the mirror of the mantle she’d placed them on, complimenting her perfect reflection. “All those villains and it’s the ‘lowly’ thief who finally ended those self-righteous elements. Well, Twilight got her wish. I did succumb to the power of friendship or whatever…my way.”

She smirked viciously, whipping out her pocket watch, one of her favourite trinkets and tools, holding it up to admire the way its light glistened in the mirror, almost like her catsuit.

“And she was finally taken down a peg by the power of my little beauty here! A few sways and she didn’t even remember the first time I rang the doorbell, let alone when I blocked her horn! Ha! I probably would’ve used it on all of them if the other ways weren’t so much fun! Just hold it in front of them, swing it around, and tell them to breathe in…”

She watched the watch sway back and forth in the mirror, trailing off. The smirk stayed on her face, but she’d lost her train of thought at how truly beautiful her watch was. How powerful. How…how…back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth…

“B…” She fought to regain her last thought and resume. “B…breathe…breathe in…”

Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth.

“Breathe in…” Rainbow Dash grinned imbecilically to her glassy eyed reflection, and did so, all poise gone as her mouth opened wide and sucked in almost all the oxygen in her trophy room.

In her penthouse. In the sky outside the open windows. Soon the mirror could no longer contain her reflection. The glossy black sheen of her catsuit swelled outward, her breastplate shrinking to a tiny pink heart under a solid wall of cyan skin. The gradual bulging of her entire being soon swept the watch out of Dash’s view, as her white gloves became two drums dangling uselessly from her circumference, but that didn’t matter.

The only thought in her head, which was now a medicine ball sized lump with the two small moons of her bulging cheeks on either side of the rapidly shrinking point that was her nose, was ‘Breathe in…breathe in…breathe in…’

Eventually the expanding landmass that had been her hips and thighs began to push her precious treasures to the sides of the room. Soon Dash was just a blue and black ball hovering off the floor, little white limbs now solid stumps pointing uselessly at nothing, her beloved wings just two little cyan nubs sticking out of the upper curve of her cyan upper half. Her legendary mane was now like a small, rainbow coloured flame dancing on top of the cross-eyed ball that was her head.

Her tail was a similar flame, soon extinguished by the black latex wall that had been her ass and lower back as the sphere sucked Rainbow’s tail into itself, pushing out the doors of the trophy room and slowly pushing all her fancy furniture and decor, as much trophies in their own right, across her hardwood floor. Now at least there was some sense of proportion: Dash’s black lower half was filling her penthouse, while her cyan upper half was stuck in what was left of the trophy room.

Her once gorgeous face, still sucking in air through her nostrils, was pressing up against the rack she’d used to house her Element trophies, her wine-coloured eyes now going in both directions because the proportions of her head were stuck against a solid wall and still stretching.

Part of the problem was Dash’s suit, tough, durable latex, designed to stretch and even incorporating some low-level bullet and fireproofing magic. Her inflating mass was now trapped in a black covering that was prepared to keep this up as long as its wearer was. Eventually, however, the laws of physics began to take over: Dash should’ve hit her breaking point into the first five minutes. By the time ten had gone by, her mass was trapped in both her suit and her penthouse with nowhere to go…and still stretching.

The burst took out all the top floors of Dash’s penthouse, showering the block with swirling scraps that smelled of exotic perfume, a high-class gym, and the scent you get after rain. Civilians who weren’t panicking or concussed were confused, wondering if some sort of parade was being thrown.

Above them, the skeletal remains of Rainbow Dash’s penthouse jutted into the sky, already sinking into a cover of cyan and rainbow snow. The only part sheltered from the storm thanks to the way beams and rubble had managed to fall, creating a small alcove, was the mantelpiece bearing her Elements of Harmony trophies.

Slowly, like a sentimental ghost, a black and pink shadow wafted out of the dancing rainbow flakes: Rainbow Dash’s iconic latex catsuit and breastplate, now expanded to twice her size. It drifted lazily through the air, draping itself almost affectionately over the top of the mantel piece, as if leaning seductively to look down at the remains of her frenemies.

There’d be more than enough of Dash to magically reconstitute her, of course. Princess Celestia was going to have a lot of words for the thief’s actions today. She was going to be rendered speechless, however, when she would receive the report explaining that the force of Dash’s bursting had caused small cracks in the tough glass of the Element canisters. Small enough to allow microscopic particles of Equestria’s greatest thief to waft in and contaminate the soon to be reconstituted remains of its greatest heroes…

END