Source Code

A couple weeks had passed, and the wedding planning had been going swimmingly. So I didn’t really say much about Cadance’s wedding, because it was a lot smaller and a lot more private after the whole Chrysalis thing. Chrysalis herself was still staying in the castle, as Celly had recovered rather quickly since the first meeting and was taking care of that and planning our wedding out at the same time. I dunno how Celly was doing that, but as I know, her multitasking skills are through the roof. Where was I? Oh yeah, pony weddings. So there is a lot of stuff different from normal weddings.

Most of the time, if both ponies marrying do not have horns, they wear ‘wedding bracelets’ which are basically what they say on the tin. Typically, most ponies don’t wear them if only because something precious, such as a wedding bracelet, is very easy to get dirty or break if it’s on their wrists, or wrist equivalent. Sometimes, if ponies want to show they are married, they wear necklaces that are in the same vein as wedding bracelets. Both sets of wedding gear were made of gold, and usually the bride’s ring or bracelet has the groom’s cutie mark etched into it.

It was apparently done differently during Chrysalis’s and Shining Armor’s ‘wedding’ ceremony because Chrysalis decided to walk up the aisle because she’s a bit egotistical. She’s also a bit of a bitch. Usually, it’s the stallion that walks up the aisle in heterosexual marriages. It’s like that because mares heavily outnumber stallions, so it is usually the mare who ‘woos the sexy stallion’ and therefore, it’s the stallion’s job to make a big entrance. Of course, both parties dress as best as they can, it’s not a wedding if they don't.

Also, ponies were somewhat archaic in their ways. Even though Celly and I may or may not have breached this a few times, both bride and groom are not to lay into each other before the wedding at all. Since Celly is a big girl, as in she has done this song and dance a few times, she isn’t exactly pure, so we didn’t have sex a few times before the big day. We didn’t because that would break tradition and breaking tradition would be sinful.

We just had sex a lot whenever Button was with Lulu or Cadance.

Since both Celly and I are part narwhal, as in we have horns, we’ll have actual wedding rings. Those go on our heads, and typically are worn all the time. Shining Armor’s in the military though, so he can’t have it on his head at all times, less it gets destroyed when somepony clubs him in the head. Since we’re royalty, these wedding rings have a bunch of Runes in them that basically bind us together, soul-wise. Not really, but only I can wear my ring, and only Celly can wear hers. They also allow us to share magic if the situation calls for it.

As it stands, Celly has so much magic that it would fry my body, and I have so much dormant magic, that I can’t access for some bucking reason, that it would fry Celly.

Since I was the stallion, I was supposed to find my ‘best mare’. I woulda had my Mom be my best mare, but uh… No. That wasn’t happening. I could get Twilight to do it, she wouldn’t mind. I’d ask Rainbow or AJ, but typically your best mare is either family, or somepony you’d willingly have in a herd in your newly formed marriage. Which led me to a conundrum. I had no family, and I didn’t want a herd. I didn’t want anypony to think I was having a herd.

So I asked Luna. She said yes, but she did something stupid. So that relieved me of trying to find a best mare. Even if I really wish my Mom was here to be my best mare. Then Luna said it would be weird if she was officiating the wedding and my best mare. So she pointed me to Snowdrop.

“Please let me be your best mare?” She has been using the Night Vision spell on her eyes ever since she got her talisman back. Not all the time, it wasn’t an easy spell to cast, but she did for this particular moment… No she wasn’t. Why? Because she knew she didn’t need eyes to have good puppy eyes, apparently. No, she just uses it when she wants to read a book, or desires to actually look at how she looks in the mirror when heading out.

So Snowdrop was giving me puppy eyes while being blind. Don’t ask me how. Don’t ask me why. No, it wasn’t weird. It was adorable. Very adorable, actually. This would be weird if her eyes weren’t fucking adorable, or so fucking expressive for somepony that basically doesn’t have them.

“Uh…” I rubbed the back of my head. “No herds, got it?”

“You’re my adoptive uncle. So of course no herds; that would be weird even though Celly and Lulu can share consorts.” She tilted her head, her ears were extra floppy because she found out how Celly and Luna did it. They've not shared that spell with me. “So am I your best mare?”

“...Yes.” I was pulled into a bone crushing hug after that. God damn, I keep forgetting how weirdly strong Snowdrop is for a mare of her build. Then again, Celly is built similarly and she could break my spine if she wanted to.

Also, I was to be presented flowers by the mare(Celly) so she had to find me a set of flowers I liked. The problem was that I didn’t eat flowers, ever, nor have I ever eaten a flower. So she was struggling to find some flower for me to eat. Since the flowers were meant to be eaten before the reception was over. I threw the idea of her just giving me a sack of potatoes, but potatoes actually give ponies the runs. As in it wasn’t something they were typically supposed to eat.

They can eat potatoes just fine, but not too much; they’d be on the shitter for hours. It’s basically a laxative… a laxative that can kill you. Most ponies can eat potatoes just fine, but in parts of the country where potatoes aren’t typically farmed, or sold, they can actually just kill ponies if they eat too much instead of just shitting on the toilet for hours. Luckily, Canterlot is actually quite diverse in terms of what lives here, excluding pony tribes. Since Canterlot, pony-wise were mostly unicorns. There were plenty of other races here that typically eat potatoes. And a lot of potato tolerant ponies

Hence why I got some mash from Fancy Pants that one time.

So Celly getting me a sack of potatoes was out the window.

I was the exception since my potato tolerance was one of the few things that translated from me being an Irishman. I was also the exception to ‘alicorns are the best at holding their beer’ before I became an alicorn. Since I outdrank Luna in the woods that one time.

Or we both can possibly get high or drunk from sharing our magic.

That was in a week from now; we were waiting for Shining Armor and Cadance to be able to attend our wedding. Celly tried getting it done as soon as possible, but Cadance would not let her hear it.

“No. You two are going to wait until Shiny and I get home. You will let me and Shiny attend your wedding. And you are going to hold off on it until at least I can attend your wedding.”

“This seems unnecessary, Cadance. We barely even had a ceremony for you-”

“And you’ll get yourself a husband that’ll keep you company for decades.”

“Cadance…” Celestia said in a warning tone. “I just recovered, and-”

“I agree with Cadance,” Luna said. “Seeing as it has to happen at sunset, so that I can get you two married without messing with my own schedule, I can say when you two are married.” As per usual, this argument was happening at the dinner table, or Luna’s breakfast. Me, Tale, and Button were just sitting there, eating our food. We all knew not to try and chime in, and Button actually just didn’t care about what was being argued about; it was usually some stupid adult thing he didn’t understand, nor did he want to try and understand it yet. It also usually never was serious, just princesses arguing over princessy things. Like which stallion is cuter, or who gets the most of my ‘alien cooking’ or whatever.

“Well,” I said, having finished breakfast pretty quickly. “I’m gonna go check out the Mage Tower and stop by some random groomer. I wanna get started on learning Portal Magic, and I wanna test some theories.”

“I will want you to stop by Rarity’s room some time this week, by the way,” Celly said behind a cup of tea. “She will literally gut you if you do not let her make you a new suit for your wedding.”

“...You know, I’ve seen a serious Rarity before, and I don’t think I wanna be on the receiving end of a serious Rarity. So I’ll take you up on that advice.”

I entered the Mage Tower a few hours later. I was let in pretty quickly after… Well, after that magical accident I was a part of, I was basically given a fast pass. Also Celly may or may not have heard of how Bolt treated me, and challenged me to a duel. Since Celly was… just a little stressed, she challenged Bolt to a duel while I was gone. Celly not only beat Bolt, she gave him an earful while doing it, apparently. So Bolt was probably going to be nicer to me, less he wants Celly to beat the shit out of him again. I bet that’d bruise his ego even further. Because Bolt is apparently the Tower’s strongest unicorn and a very capable duelist.

Then Celestia throws him around like a ragdoll.

Twilight could probably do the same if her application of any combat magic wasn't so by the books that even I can deal with her in a fight… Until Twilight Twilights and Twilights the Twilight out of you. In other words, Twilight is like an endless well of magic; she can pour as much as she needs into a spell on the dot, do it quickly, and hit fucking hard. So even if Bolt, Shining Armor, or even me, are better fights by technicality, it doesn't mean shit; Twilight has enough power to manhandle anypony really easily.

Oh yeah, Bolt’s ego is probably already bruised. Bolt… I think I kicked his ass with the Light Shield spell. Granted, I got a headache afterwards since Light Shield can do that, and be very fatiguing at times, but I still kicked his shit in. Bolt and the rest of the Nine were standing in the center of the room… he has burn marks. Aw, Celly must’ve been really pissed off at him. Okay, thank god my marefriend is incredibly strong and protective of me; most ponies don’t try to hurt me because of it.

Exo was front and center, and quickly greeted me. Because Exo’s surprisingly soft, I let her hug me.

“Hello Source! It’s good to see that you’re in one piece. Why’d you take so long to visit again?”

“Well,” I hummed. “Bolt over there’s an asshole. You two finally… uh, legally separated?”

“Celestia signed it after beating the buck out of my ex.”

“Oh. Damn. Congrats, lass. I’ve got some news, some really cool news.”

“...What is it?” Exo asked, tilting her head.

“I wanna learn how to use portals. I’ve got theories, and exploring other timelines… does sound appealing. Even if the first one I walked into resulted in this,” my wings fanned out and everypony gasped. “What?”

“...You became an alicorn,” Exo said to herself. “Oh my…” She hummed. “Those are some nice looking wings, you know.”

“So I’ve been told by Celly. We’re getting married this week; no touchy my wings. That’s a right given only to Celly.”

“I won’t. I’d be arrested for sexual assault if I did that to any pegasus on the street; those things are apparently super sensitive.”

“That is true…” I hummed. “So, about learning portal magic.”

“...Why do you wish to learn?”

“Personal reasons that I, legally, cannot disclose. Because if I do, Celly will find out, and I want to try and surprise her. I also just want to explore the other ‘timelines’ if you will.” I then noted how Bolt was staring me down. “What do you want, mate? An ass kicking?”

“No.” Bolt growled. “I want to deny your access, but sadly, I am no longer the ‘grandmaster’ of the Tower.”

“D’aw, baby can’t deny me.” I chuckled. “I ain’t even gonna be learning from you anyways. Exo’s gonna be teaching me.” Just as I said that, the doors opened and Fancy Pants and Fleur started trotting in all regally and fancy and stuff. “That is very convenient, why the hell are you two here?” I was happy to see them, but this was all too convenient.

“The Princess told us where you were hoping to go today, and we were making sure somepony didn’t lash out at you.” Fluer said, walking up to me and… No, she tackled me. She tackled me to the ground and started nuzzling me. “Oh it is so good to know that you are safe. My husband and I would have found you sooner, but you went missing for a good week and a half after being missing for a month! Then we heard you got foalnapped and everything!”

“What is with you mares being overtly affectionate?” I asked.

“You were missing for well over a month, Source,” Fancy Pants said. “You go missing for a month, come back for a week, and immediately get foalnapped and held captive by the changelings. Everypony was just a little worried about you… and also mares, naturally, are very protective of stallions and colts; there’s already too few of us as is. It would not do anypony any good if anypony got hurt at all as well. I see you came out looking better for wear than I would’ve expected.” He gestured to my wings.

“You don’t care that your wife is snuggling with me?”

“Please,” Fancy chuckled. “Snuggling and cuddling is like breathing for us ponies. Most stallions would kill just to be in the same presence as Fluer; she’s quite the sight to behold, don’t you think?”

“Mmm, dunno if you should be asking me that, man.” I patted Fluer, who still wasn’t letting me get up. “You know who I’m dating, and to be married by the end of the week.”

“I know. I suppose you are just a little spoiled; Princess Celestia is one of the prettiest mares to ever grace Equus.”

“They used to date before the Princess introduced us,” Fluer giggled. “It was a short thing, as it turned out that me and Fancy were a better match. We would’ve formed a herd, but the Princess insisted on the two of us being together, and just the two of us.” She nodded to her husband. “Though since we’re all here, we can do a few things. Like see how good you actually are in a combat scenario.” I blinked.

“I get back from being starved in a cold, dark cave with an ‘evil’ changeling, and you want to kick my shit in? What the fuck, Fluer?”

“What? I’ve heard of what you went through after you were lost to that portal. While… I won’t say what, because I fear making you uncomfortable, I am curious. Just how well versed are you in fighting?”

“I can kick his flanks if he didn’t rely on that stupid, cheap spell that he made.” Bolt grumbled.

“Wanna bet?” I asked. “That was just an alarm system that fought back.” I asked, looking what I hoped was intimidating.

“I will beat the buck out of you.”

“Okay.”

So it was decided that I would be taking on a few duels. One with Fleur De Lis, and the other with Bolt. Bolt was going first, since I fought him before and he needed to stroke his ego. The fight would end as soon as one pony is incapacitated; as in that there was actually a ‘safety’ dueling mode in the arena we just walked into. Hit five times, dead on with a spell, and you’re ‘dead’. I got a Light Shield ready and started getting ready to launch a probing offense. Something I’ve picked up during my time beyond the portal… I was too defensive. It worked out, but that only gets you so far. The best way to end something quickly was to find a hole in your opponent’s wall and stab through it.

Seeing as I was apparently one of the gifted few that could use multiple spells at once, I wasn’t sure how well that would do in an actual, real-world application.

“You ready?” I asked, taking my side of the arena. Now is a good time to mention that this is so much like a stupid Pokemon arena from the show. I was answered by Bolt being a total gentlecolt, by trying to blast me with a spell off the bat. I started launching my own spells as soon as I rolled out the way, keeping my movement erratic, while parrying any spells that actually almost hit me with a shield. I was doing my best to keep Light Shield out of the equation. The spells I was firing were a bunch of random spells, with no rhyme or reason. Bolt was just shooting lightning bolts and telekinetic blasts.

I was shooting lightning bolts, telekinetic blasts, stuns, fireballs, and plasma as well. I even shot an ice ball every now and then, since it was a heavy projectile; it was more or less a fake shot.

Thankfully Python was so damn optimized, that I felt like I could keep going for hours. I batted aside another spell, before DragonFiring past another few, and then transitioned into Dark DragonFire, as in I just started using dark magic to power it, to scorch the ground as I shot forward, blasting as many spells as I could in as I came in like a bullet train straight for Bolt’s panicking form. I think I’ve learnt a thing I have as an advantage compared to most ponies from this.

“LEROY JENKINS!” I plowed right into Bolt, sending his stupid ass into the wall. I stumbled a bit as I also slammed my face into the wall. I got off better, as Bolt was laying there, twitching and a little… Oh. He’s being carried out to the infirmary again. “MOM MADE CHICKEN!” I shouted from my perch on the floor beside the wall I slammed into. “I broke my face. Somepony help.”

The next thing I knew, I was sitting on a bench outside of the little arena, and rubbing my head. I was hit with a few healing spells at some point in the last ten minutes because my head made me feel just a little less suicidal than it was ten minutes ago.

“Did I win, Mom?” I asked. I was pretending to be dazed.

“You did,” Fleur giggled. “You did well. You seem to be entirely random with what you were doing? Seriously, throwing an ice ball over ten meters away?”

“It was to stress Bolt out. At his heart, he is a prey animal. It’s not hard to make a prey animal panic; throw a bunch of shit, that can kill them, and they’ll usually run. I’m surprised that it worked so well; he was getting sporadic towards the end and less precise like he was at the start.”

“Well,” Fancy Pants hummed. “I would be a little thrown off by a spell I’ve never seen before; I know for a fact that Bolt, and a majority of the Nine have outright refused to acknowledge Python as a spell system. Seeing as DragonFire, and that darker version, are exclusive to that spell system…” Fancy clapped his hooves. “It is always nice to see that douche bag get knocked down a peg.” The rest of the Nine seemed to have similar opinions, whereas Exo was literally gawking over a photo right as I hit Bolt.

“You good, Exo?”

“HIS FACE IS BUCKING HLARIOUS!” She laughed. She laughed so hard that she started crying. While she was laughing, I could see Fleur and Fancy Pants considering a possible, new herd mate. Well, until Fluer slowly turned to me with the scariest face I’ve ever seen. She slowly pointed towards the arena, where she quickly took her side.

As soon as the round started, I started taking it nice and slow…

Fleur didn’t. She blasted a Telekinetic Blast so powerful that it overloaded Light Shield so hard that Light Shield didn’t even teleport me. Luckily, I teleported beforehand.

“HOLY MOTHER OF FU-” I got hit by the same blast right after. I went flying into the nearby wall. “JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WOMAN!” I got up right after. Before teleporting a white towel to me. “I give up. No. Fuck that. What the Fuck!?”

Fleur giggled. “I spar with Princess Celestia regularly, Source.”

“Please tell me that Fancy’s a little stronger-”

“No. I could beat Fancy if I wanted to hurt him.”

“Bro,” my fucking head. I hit my head on the fucking wall. I’m back to wanting to kill myself because of my head. “The fuck.”

“Well,” Fleur smiled. “I know you just threw a towel, but we’re thinking of the wrong sport.”

“...Dude. How do I survive four alicorns but you kick my shit in?”

“You don’t have the element of surprise from having a spell system I’ve not encountered before.” Her horn lit. “Come on, I want to see just how strong you actually are. You’ve beaten Chrysalis, who did quite the number on Princess Celestia.” My horn lit and I shot a spell into her next telekinetic blast. It immediately mirrored back and almost hit Fleur had she not teleported out of the way. Her tongue clicked. “Creative-” I tackled her after jumping out of a DragonFire.

“NAH FUCK YOU!” I started tickling the fuck out of her. What? You think that I’d actually try and hurt one of my friends? I don’t roll like that.

“S-STO-STOP-P!” Fleur forgot she had a horn and was trying to hit me off with her legs. Luckily she didn’t hit me.

When we were done, I was laying a wing over her side, clutching my head while I laid completely flat on the floor. “Fleur, please remind me not to get on your bad side-”

“I was trying to anger you, you know.” She admitted. She recovered after she used a rejuvenation spell. Fucking dick. “I’ve felt how much magic you carried when you’re fueling your magic with emotions. Though it seems like you’re actively only putting power into your magic when somepony you love gets hurt, or you want to hurt somepony,” she motioned to Bolt, who was in a wheelchair. “You don’t like that much.”

“Fleur, I genuinely consider you and Fancy as friends. I know how it feels to watch the love of my life get hurt. I don’t wanna do that to Fancy, and I don’t wanna hurt you either… You hit harder than Twilight does.”

“I only have a lot of power to draw on,” Fluer waved a dismissive hoof. “In terms of spell repertoire, I’m rather lacking. Objectively, you’re a better mage than I am, even if you are a lot weaker than I am… Or less willing to hurt anypony than I’ve expected. Save Bolt.”

“You overloaded Light Shield,” I groaned.

“You didn’t even use it,” Fleur noted. “You just teleported as soon as you saw something really strong heading your way. You weren’t sure if Light Shield was going to do anything, did you?”

“I don’t bucking know. I just didn’t wanna get hit in the face.”

Fleur giggled. “Prey animals are easy to scare, hmm?”

I slowly lifted my head to face the unicorn. “Fuck you.” I laid my head back down. Fleur giggled and started grooming my ears.

A couple of days later, I was sitting with Twilight and Rarity. Usually, apparently, the stallion makes sure everything for their wedding is up to par… Nah. Celly is just busy with day court at the moment, but made sure to have all the wedding planning done… through Twilight. Basically, she planned the wedding out, but is having Twilight make sure everything goes well. I was checking out a suit that Rarity had made me, and she had such a wide smile while I was looking it over. It was a nice suit, really. It looked like a…

“Hey, that’s an Irish cap,” I magicked the thing off the poniquin, mannequin, I don’t fucking know what the heck ponies call it, but it’s probably something stupid. I set the cap on my head and smiled. “Man, it’s been forever since I’ve worn one of these!” I chuckled. “Since I was a wee little lad!” I looked at myself in the mirror. It was simple, just a gray, Irish cap. I looked it over… I look kinda cool with this thing, not even gonna lie.

“Well, I heard that you were missing some comforts from your homelife, so this is a part of my wedding gift from me to you, Source. On top of that, I did your usual day-to-day outfit so you’d have something made from actual, quality materials instead of that overpriced, Canterlot junk.”

I stared at the cap, before sticking it back on the mannequin. That’s when I started actually looking at the suit. It was literally just my usual day-to-day business gear. Trench coat, hat, white undershirt, socks. It just looked fancier. There were a few more gems in it than I liked, but I was told that I could take those off after the wedding; they were detachable. I hugged Rarity since I knew if I tried offering some form of payment, she would probably kill me. She almost did when I snuck bits into her sock drawer once.

After Rarity, who was our first stop, we stopped in the kitchens, where Apple Jack and Chef Beef were hunched over the oven.

“Uh…” Apple Jack whispered. “How are we gonna bucking make something that both Source will enjoy, but won’t give everypony else the runs? All he eats are things made out of potatoes!”

“He likes other dishes, just none of them fit in weddings,” Beet whispered back.

“Hey guys, how’s it going?” I said, slotting my head between both of theirs as they watched a potato that they stuck in the oven.

“Oh, hey Source. How’s it going?” AJ asked. “We were just real busy coming up with this new dish, we call it a ‘baked potato’! I believe you’ll like it.”

“...You two don’t know what to make, do you?” I asked. “Because to be frank, just some Apple Family-style catering and some of the human snacks Beet recreated are enough. Those apple logs? Delicious. Very good. I like things other than potatoes, you know.”

“But it-”

“Celly likes potatoes as much as I do, but I know she can’t eat a lot of them without catching the runs. I’d rather have my wife enjoy our reception, not try and not run to the bathroom because she ate too many fries.”

“Well then… Here Ah was thinkin’ super hard. Ah forgot that you aren’t a picky eater.”

“Mmm, just don’t make hayburgers. Me and Cadance had to eat nothing but hayburgers for weeks.” The two nodded and saluted me. Chef Beet took a moment to bow too. “Don’t bow to me, Chef Beet. Please for the love of god, don’t. I don’t care if I’ve got a pair of wings and a horn, I don’t care if I’m gonna be a High Prince Consort, I don’t need people bowing to me. Nopony should ever bow to me. It feels wrong, and makes me feel like some uptight dickhead.”

“...Huh. If I don’t bow to Prince Blueblood, he'll yell at me.”

“And Prince Blueblood’s a bit of a twat, ain’t he? Just treat me like how you’ve always treated me. Same dude, just a new title.” Chef Beet nodded and walked up to me. A nice hug was what I got.

“I missed ya by the way. When you get back from your honeymoon, would you like to stop by the kitchens and test some more ‘human foods’ I’ve recreated?”

“...Is. That. Even. A. Question?” I asked.

“I see that all it takes to get you to do anything is food.”

“Good food, a lovely wife, and an adorable little colt. What more could a stallion ask for, Beet?”

“Fair enough.”

The next place I stopped at was Pinkie. Oh. That’s why she hadn’t thrown the two parties she promised me during my vacation. My wedding reception will essentially be three parties rolled into one. I just watched as Pinkie showed off all the attractions. She made her own snacks for the party, had pin the pony, dancing, and a DJ… No, somepony to just sing shanties and folk songs, I was genuinely excited about that. I won’t go too in-depth mostly because Pinkie literally wouldn’t show me everything.

“No, Source, it’s meant to be a surprise!” I was tossed out of the party room promptly afterwards. I just sat there, next to Twilight and blinked.

“Pinkie.” We both said. Fluttershy’s choir was good, it was a bunch of birds like at Cadance’s wedding. I just wasn’t allowed to see much of anything because I was later told that Celly wanted everything to be a surprise during the wedding. Therefore everypony decided to not show me much beyond the food and the suit I’d be wearing to the wedding. This all really leads up to… My wedding when Saturday comes around.

Come around Saturday, Princess Celestia was humming in the bridal suite. WIth her was Luna, Cadance, and all the Element Bearers. Twilight was the best mare for her teacher, and it was a bit surreal. Never before had she expected to see her teacher in a wedding dress. Since a white dress on a purely white pony would be a little over the top, and Source would make one of his stupid human jokes that he would say is ‘probably racist’, the Princess of the Sun, Mare or Morn, went with a fully black wedding dress to contrast with her coat nicely.

And because she knew it would break Source upon seeing her.

The dress itself was a rather simple one, as Rarity pointed out, Source would really only care about the mare wearing the dress after getting over how good the Princess looked. It’s a black, full dress that hugged her barrel nicely and really, really emphasized her hips. It was a low cut dress, and ended just before her shoulders. It was a new design that Rarity was experimenting with, and claimed that it was more or less something Celestia should wear during her honeymoon to try and seduce her coltfriend.

So logically, the Princess had put the black wedding dress off to the side and went with a simple, light blue dress that matched a clear, blue sky on a nice, summer day. The black dress was being reserved for when she decided it was time to have the main goal of the honeymoon.

Celestia even decided to forego any form of regalia. Her horseshoes were set to the side, her crown laid on her bed, forgotten as she happily pranced around the room in her dress.

“This day is going to be perfect!” The Princess began. “The kind of day of which I dreamed since I was small! Everypony will gather ‘round. Say I look lovely in my gown. I’m the happiest mare around!” She clapped her hooves. “I am so excited!” Celly pranced around. “Oh! I cannot wait!” She stopped. “What would Source look like in his suit? I bet he looks rather dashing. I know he stopped by a groomer earlier this morning to help himself look nicer!” Celestia then pulled a pair of earrings out of the nightstand; it was the only piece of jewelry she’d be wearing throughout the wedding.

It’s been a hundred years since she last put on any form of jewelry.

“Well,” Rarity hummed. “Nopony’s seen Source since last night during dinner. With how much he talks about you, I bet he is doing everything in his power to appease you today.”

“I’m surprised Source hasn’t run away yet,” Twilight added. “I’ve known Source the longest, besides Princess Celestia, and he never struck me as the ‘brave’ type. In fact, he was rather skittish when Celestia wasn’t present.”

“Pfft,” Rainbow waved a hoof. “I bet he’s cool, calm, and collected. After what that stallion’s faced? I bet this will be a piece of cake-”

Meanwhile,

“Jesus fucking christ,” I was clutching my head in my hooves. “Jesus fucking christ.”

“Source,” Snowdrop said, rubbing my back. She was wearing a very, very pretty dress that looked like it was made out of ice, but it wasn’t. It was just a nice, silky, almost see-through dress. “You’ve been repeating that for the last hour, ever since you put your suit on. Is something wrong?”

“I’m going to get married.” I said.

“Yes you are. You should be happy!” Snowdrop hugged me. “Come on, smile a little!”

“I’m excited, I am. I’m more than happy to be able to begin my life with the mare that I love more than anything, Snowdrop. I don’t know if I’m ready, though. I’m not sure if I can be the stallion Celly needs. I’m not sure if I’m adequate or not. I know that Celly loves me, I love Celly. That’s all that should matter. Cadance let me know that the moment I met her…” I took a nice, long breath and let it all out. “Am I enough? Will I be enough? What will Celly do if she finds out that I’m less than the sum of my parts?” I asked.

“She’ll love you, Source,” Snowdrop nuzzled me. “Auntie Tia has had many, many, many loves and consorts before you came along, Source. If she did not love you, she would not be going through with marrying you. If she thought you didn’t love her, she wouldn’t be doing this. I’m willing to bet that she’s prancing around her suite, despite having an audience, singing that silly little song every mare sings when getting married. Celestia loves marriage, Source. When I met her, she was a few thousand years old. At that point, she had already grown distant from the average pony. Marrying, despite Auntie going through it many, many times is something she still enjoys; she found somepony that could break down her walls. She found somepony she could just love.

“Celestia loves you, and will want nothing more than to spend as much time with you as she can.”

Button was wearing a cute little tuxedo, and he had been nuzzling and comforting me by resting on my neck the whole time. “Yeah, Dad. You and Mom love each other. What will this actually change? That you two are legally together? You two were so close that everypony thought you were already, officially at least, her consort. I would''ve thought you two were married if you hadn’t told me she was your marefriend the moment you met me.” He licked my nose. “Stop being a silly filly, and stand up, Dad.”

I laid there in contemplation for a moment, before taking a long, deep breath. “Do I look good at least? This day may not change much about how me and Celly live together, but I want to make damn sure today’s a good day for the two of us. And then the following week is damn good for the two of us, start to finish.”

“In bed?” Snowdrop teased. “You look dashing. I never knew why you decided to wear what is essentially your business clothes; a trench coat and a dress shirt. But it does look rather nice, and the cap you have on your head is rather nice.”

“What does that mean?” Button asked. “Like when you and Mom send me off to Cadance’s room because you two wanted to share a bed?”

“...Uh, you’ll learn when you’re older, kid. Just don’t ask what it is. I’d tell you, but Celly would gut me if I did.”

“Okay, Dad.” I heard a large set of hooves rush past my room. My room was placed rather closely to the wedding ballroom; a way to make walking up the aisle easier. “Your hat is slightly crooked,” Button pointed out after he hopped on the ground. The wedding was about to begin.

“I know. I’m more than aware. I left it like that because Celly expects nothing less of me; a plain ol’ stallion that sometimes wears a crooked hat.” I chuckled, lifted it off my head and smiled. “Rarity even got us matching caps, since I know that Tia wore one during the Gala.” I steeled myself as I got ready to leave my room. “Alright, my body is ready, but my brain is not.” I launched a ‘Boomerang’ spell, just a light one. It bounced off the wall and into my face. It wasn’t hard enough to make me look stupid, I think. It was enough to put some sense in my brain, though.

“Okay.” I took a deep breath. “Now I am ready.” Snowdrop and Button looked each other in the eyes; they just watched their respective uncle and father do something stupid for the sake of being an idiot. We left my room and rounded the corner and behind Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Apple Bloom. They were flower fillies for both Cadance’s, and now my, weddings. Sweetie Belle stole a quick nuzzle from Button, and her tail wagged just slightly upon seeing me.

“Alright Source, don’t eat your own foot; it won’t do you any good.” I whispered to myself as soon as Fluttershy’s choir of birds started singing. The doors opened and the Crusaders started hopping forward, scattering petals onto the red carpet before me. There on the altar stood Celestia, looking extra sparkly today. Her simple, light blue dress fell right in line for something not too poppy, but still pleasant to look at. I know for a fact she had another dress that she’ll be wearing during our honeymoon, one that is designed specifically to break my monkey brain.

Snowdrop stayed at the door, as tradition as I started proudly marching forward, any and all doubts I had in my mind fell to the wayside as I made my way up the steps. All I saw was Celly, nopony else. None of the other ponies in the room mattered at this very moment. All I saw was my wife-to-be, my lovely, lovely wife. Luna said some words, I wasn’t paying attention, but when she asked Celly a question, I heard an ‘I do’. I stood, waiting as Luna read back my wedding vows, though she did add her own little joke here and there to spice things up.

“Do you take Princess Celestia, dear sister of mine, Mare or the Morn,” Luna started listing off every title for my Celly that she’s acclaimed over the years. She went for a good five minutes before something smacked her upside the head. She snickered as she watched her sister give her a rather unamused side-eye. “Bringer of Day, Princess Sun Butt to be your lovely wife. To cherish her through night and day. To comfort her for as long as you both live?”

I stared Celestia in the eyes. “I do.” I said proudly.

“You two may kiss, and your bride may present you with your flowers.” Luna said with a small smirk.

“C’mere, Sun Butt,” I said. Hopping up on my hindlegs so she didn’t have to bend her neck that much just as she laid on her stomach so I wouldn’t have to get on my hindlegs. I fell on my back while Celly started blushing. We had a good laugh, before I rolled over, sat up, and we kissed. We’ve shared many kisses before, many of them were wonderful. It’s just… hard to describe this one. Never before had we kissed for so long, or gave so much into one particular kiss. I felt a ring be placed on my horn, and knew that Celly had a ring on hers as well.

“You called me Sun Butt again,” Celly whispered as we pulled back. “Was that intentional?”

“...Do you want me to stop?”

“I want you to call me Sun Butt; it was always my favorite nickname. You stopped calling me after we started dating for a few months and I missed it.”

“You could've said something,” I whispered back.

“It shows you were trying to be respectful of me, but remember; I was happy to be your friend, and now your wife because you weren’t being careful of what you said around me.” She giggled. “But as tradition demands, your bouquet of flowers, my dear.” She presented me with two potatoes. One for each of us. The bride and groom were meant to share flowers, I guess. I was never told that. “To a life long lived, together, my dear?”

“To a long life,” I smiled and took a straight, raw bite of my potato as we stepped onto the balcony to kiss again for the crowd below.

“I hope you know that I’ve got a nice, newly designed black dress for our honeymoon.”

“I bucking knew it.”

“Of course; it would only make your brain break when we have dinner during the first week of our honeymoon.”

Spoiler alert, she got what she wanted pretty quickly when she put that dress on during dinner the following day. God damn, Celly sure does look good in black.