I can't disappoint my fans... That's me, Sunny Aozora (サニーアオゾラ). I'm nineteen years old, and my dream of being an idol has finally been fulfilled. Since I was little, I've always loved to sing and entertain others.

Gradually, I've gained more recognition as I've participated in events, and ponies seem to enjoy my talent. But it comes at a high cost. I've had to spend every week in the rehearsal studio, practicing from seven in the morning until two in the morning—mentally and physically exhausting. It's a routine that repeats seven days a week.

I have to make the most of Saturdays and Sundays, the only days where I get some rest. However, I often find myself sleeping most of the day, overwhelmed by fatigue. But during the rest of the time, I try to engage in other activities like watching TV, reading mangas, and assembling gunpla figures. Sometimes, I wish I could forget about my career for a few minutes and focus on other things. But I can't. This career demands so much—it feels like selling my soul.

Sometimes... I hate being an earth pony. If I were a unicorn, maybe I could cast a spell to keep myself awake, more focused, or to have more energy during rehearsals. Then I wouldn't come back to my apartment so exhausted. I can't even have pets because I wouldn't have time to take care of them.

Having marefriends, coltfriends, or foals is out of the question. If I did, I'd risk losing everything. Sometimes, I'd like to go out with my fans, but some might feel that I'm treating some of them more specially than others. I have to treat them all the same. I can't afford to lose a single one.

I also can't eat whatever I want. I have to maintain a diet prescribed by my nutritionist and my trainer. I have to resist the temptation to eat junk food and stay away from restaurants. I have to distract myself from the desire to indulge.

And then there's the pressure to maintain a specific weight. I can't afford to gain even a little weight. I have to stay attractive to my fans.

And on holidays like Heart and Hooves Day, it is even worse, I mean the practices, they are all week including Saturdays and Sundays, these days I have hardly slept at all, the most I sleep is three hours, that's why I wish that this day will end soon, so at least I won't have a practice session as exhausting as this.

Most of my fans believe that I am their marefriend, and that they will have a chance with me, but deep down I know, they know, that it will never be like that, I only do it because that is what my career is about, not just singing and dance, also to be like a kind of marefriend for them, a dream, an image with whom they would like to be.

Today, I'm going to sing a love song. It's the type of song my fans like the most because they think I'm dedicating it to them, and that they'll have a chance to go on a date with me.

It's not that I despise my fans—I adore them. Thanks to them, I'm in the position I am today. But I can't go out with them; if I did, everything would be over.

When I got up, the first thing I did was practice the song, over and over again, just to make sure everything was perfect. There can't be any mistakes.

In all the events I've done, nothing has gone wrong, and I don't want this to be the exception. We train very hard, and during practice, if any of us make mistakes, we start over again and again. When everything goes well, we have to repeat the routine until we get it perfect three times in a row.

After today, I hope to have some peace of mind. That's all I want.

I long to be comfortable at my kotatsu table, which I haven't sat at for several weeks. It's been a while since I've had the time to reflect and think about my future. I can't dedicate myself to this forever. When I get old, I'll lose my 'perfect' image. Youth is highly valued in Nippony; not many would want to be with an old mare.

I think I'll learn to play an instrument, dedicate myself completely to being a voice actress, or maybe start a business. It's still early to decide, but it never hurts to think about what I'll do with my life.

I heard a beeping sound, and it was my poketto beru. It's a device that you can carry on your hoof or mane; I usually use it on my hoof. I raised my hoof to read the message, and it was from my manager: "こんにちは、お迎えに行くところです。到着したら準備ができているか確認してください。" (Hello, I'm on my way to pick you up. Please make sure you're ready when I arrive.) Oh, he's on his way. I was ready before; I was just waiting for him. I guess there must be a lot of traffic today, or maybe he stopped to buy a milkshake. Hahaha! He's an enthusiast, there's no doubt about that. I'm somewhat envious of the fact that he can drink them and I can't. They're high in calories and sugars, which could ruin my perfect "image."

The strawberry ones look delicious. I've never been able to try them since I started this. It's one of the things that annoys me the most about being an idol—delicious food that I can't get my hooves on. I just limit myself to fruits and tofu.

I better stop thinking about food; otherwise, I'll get hungry. Eating something you really want but can't have is really frustrating.

I was thinking about getting a phone, but I don't know... If my number gets leaked, I'll get calls from fans or pranks all the time, and I don't want that. I thought beepers were a safer alternative, but given my friendship with Blackjack, it's difficult to communicate. Plus, she lives in Marechester, which is very far from here. It's not like I can visit her whenever I want.

I think I'll ask my manager to help me communicate with her and make sure she comes to my concert. I really hope she comes; we've been great friends for a long time, and her presence would be very special for me.

I better wait for my manager outside, get up from the kotatsu table, and turn off the air conditioning. I was already starting to freeze, as well as the lights.

I think I'm ready. I already brushed my teeth, used mouthwash, and brushed my mane. I must keep it long and colorful—white and pink, as if I were an anime pony. The fans love it. I must also act kawaii furumai; that makes my fans extremely happy, and their expressions of joy fill my soul with happiness.

I trotted to the door of my apartment and opened it. I closed my eyes for a moment and let out a sigh; a little fresh air always relaxes me.

As I looked down, just as I imagined, I found a gift from my fans. It was a stuffed animal of a Shiba Inu, the pet I've always wanted but can't have. There was also a Gunpla figure of Master Grade! These are the ones I really like; they're very difficult to assemble and require great patience, but for me, it's very simple. I've been building Gunplas since I was a filly.

I took the gifts and placed them on my kotatsu table. What worries me about this is that some fans know where I live. But as long as they don't knock on my door or try to break in, I'll be fine. This isn't the first time it's happened. I don't know how they found out where I live, but still, I accept the gifts because I really appreciate them. I couldn't bring myself to throw them away; I don't dare to do that.

"Arigatō, fan no minasan..." (thank you, fans...) I said quietly, expressing my gratitude to my fans. I knew none of them would hear or see me, but I felt compelled to thank them in some way. I understood the time and effort it took to bring these gifts to me. Some might even be willing to travel by Shinkansen just to deliver them.

I trotted out of my apartment, scanning my surroundings for any paparazzi following me. They were among the most annoying aspects of my life. While I didn't fully understand how the internet worked, I preferred to avoid it for obvious reasons. Yet, I could already imagine the rumors and news that would circulate about me—speculating on my sexuality or love life. Kuso! That's none of their business.

Still, I tried to remain patient and composed. Losing my temper could easily ruin my career.

Especially on this Heart and Hooves Day, they will surely be following me all day, hoping to uncover my 'secret partner'. I'm not sure how I'll manage my meeting with Blackjack. I was hoping for some sort of... date with her, I suppose. I can't stand being a virgin anymore.

My fellow idols have shared stories of their encounters with other ponies, and how their fans never found out. I wish the same for today with Blackjack. It's not that I love her, but I must admit, her morbid humor always manages to make me laugh more than anypony else in the world.

Just thinking about it makes me a little nervous. Not only am I risking my career, but I've never been intimate with another pony before, especially not with another mare. Same-gender relationships aren't well regarded by some ponies in Nippony, especially the traditional ones—like my parents. But I don't care. It's my life, and I'll live it as I see fit.

I closed the door of my apartment and headed towards the stairs. My apartment is located in Shinjoku, a neighborhood in Tokyolt. It's not a very quiet place; there are always many ponies trotting towards their destinations. You have to know how to dodge them. Even though it was seven in the morning, the streets were already filled, especially on holidays.

I wore a black jacket, a pink scarf, and sunglasses to avoid being recognized when I went down to the streets. This is the problem of being a well-known idol—if somepony recognizes me, many will approach me for photos and autographs, keeping me occupied for a long time without a moment to breathe. I prefer to take care of that only during events, not when I am outside of them. I need some calm now.

Since I can't wear a cap due to my extremely long mane, my fans will likely think I'm just an ordinary cosplayer and not recognize me.

As I headed towards our meeting point, I saw that my manager had already arrived. His car is easy to identify—a first-generation Mitsuoki Ryoga. Not many ponies drive these cars because they are considered 'ugly,' but he likes them. He honked the horn twice in a row.

He got out and opened the door for me, which was very kind of him. As I approached, he didn't say anything to me or greet me. He knows that if he said my name, my fans would identify me. We didn't speak until we were both in the car with the doors closed and windows up.

I got into his car, and he closed the door. Platinum Victory is his name. He is not only my manager but also a friend.

"Ohayō, Sanī, genki desu ka?" (Good morning, Sunny, how are you?) he asked, wearing his usual sunglasses, black suit, and tie.

"Watashi wa ii desu, anata wa?" (I'm good, and you?) I replied as he began to accelerate. I noticed he was a little sweaty, likely from the pressure of arriving a bit late.

"Sukoshi sutoresu o kanjite iru yo. Kyō wa jūtai ga hidoi. 8-ji ni sutajio ni tsukubeki daga, mō 7-ji da." (Feeling a little stressed, you know? The traffic is horrible today. You should be at the studio by eight, and it's already seven thirty.) My manager said. I understood his stress; he worries excessively about arriving early and ensuring everything goes perfectly. But we can't control things like traffic.

"Shabuya O-West wa chikai desu. Soko made wa jūgo-fun hodo kakarimasu. Mada jikan ga arimasu kara, daijōbu."(Shabuya O-West is close; it would take us about fifteen minutes to get there. We still have time, so don't stress.) I told my manager as I laid my head back on the seat of his car.

"Chikakute mo 1-jikan wa kakaru kamo shirenai. Kyou wa juutai ga hidoi koto wa wakatte ita hazuda." (Even if it's close, it might take us an hour to get there. I should have known the traffic would be heavy today.) My manager said, extending a hoof forward and then placing it back on the steering wheel.

"Sukoshi okurete touchaku shite mo, nani mo iwarenai yo. Itsumo shitei sareta jikan ni touchaku dekiru wake de wa nai kara. Sore ni, denwa o shite mo ii desu ka? Anata no denwa o karite mo ii?" (They can't say anything if we're a little late; we can't always arrive exactly on time. Also, can I make a call? Do you mind if I use your phone?) I asked my manager, turning my gaze to the right.

"Mochiron, watashi no keitai denwa wa gurōbu bokkusu no naka ni arimasu" (Of course, my mobile phone is in the glove compartment) My manager said, pointing to the compartment with one of his front hooves.

I extended a hoof to open the compartment and took out the phone. It was specifically designed for ponies, with large keys the size of a hoof for easy typing. On the left side, there was a button to answer calls, and on the right, one to cancel them.

In the center were directional buttons for navigating the phone's options. As I scrolled through the contact list, I searched for Blackjack. I hoped she would answer my call.

Placing the phone to my ear, I waited for her response.

I heard the sound indicating she had answered. I couldn't help feeling a little excited.

"Kon'nichiwa, Blackjack-chan!" I greeted her, adjusting my sunglasses.

"Hey Sunny, good to hear from you. I'm already at Shabuya O-West, right? It's a black building with images of idols, palm trees, and a bright yellow logo," Blackjack replied, sounding a bit unsure.

"Yes, that's the place. We're on our way; traffic delayed us a bit, but we're almost there. How was your trip?" I inquired.

"I was attacked by several mutations and almost crashed my car five times. When I arrived in Japany, I got lost in a place called Akisaka and had to ask for directions," Blackjack recounted, her tone nonchalant. It was typical of her to face such challenges with ease, but it still worried me.

"Hahahah! I did mention it was in Shinjoku, and some of the street names here are translated into Equestrian... well, sort of," I chuckled, trying to contain my laughter. Blackjack always had a way of making light of even the most perilous situations.

"It's not easy to remember those strange names in your city, Sunny," Blackjack retorted, feigning annoyance.

"Hahahaha! I understand, but at least you're in the right place now," I replied, still trying to stifle my amusement.

"I'll be outside waiting for you," Blackjack said, her voice cutting through the ambient chatter of other ponies. "I saw other idols who had entered, I guess they're friends of yours."

"It must be Mizuki and Yuki," I replied, my tone light with amusement. "We're great friends and we form a band, though our friendship isn't as close as ours... What? Are you jealous that I have other friends besides you, Blackjack-chan?" I teased, barely containing my laughter.

"What?! No, I mean, I was just curious," Blackjack stammered, her surprise evident. I could sense the hint of jealousy lingering beneath her words.

"I know you only come here for the food," I retorted playfully.

"Before, but now I'm coming for you, Sunny. Even if we can't have a relationship, I'm happy to at least be your friend," Blackjack spoke, her voice softer and slower.

I felt my cheeks flush crimson at Blackjack's words. "You make me blush, Blackjack-chan. Even if I leave my career when I get old, surely during all this time you will find another pony who loves you." Our friendship had its own unique dynamic, one filled with unspoken desires and unattainable dreams. As much as I longed for our bond to deepen, the risk to my career loomed large. I couldn't afford the scrutiny of the paparazzi, nor could I bear to drag Blackjack into the chaos.

"Yes, you're right. You're nineteen years old; there's still a long way to go before you have to abandon your career," Blackjack's voice came through the phone, accompanied by the rhythmic sound of her hooves in the background.

"That's why I want this day to be special. Do you know what it's like to endure weeks of heat without being able to do anything about it? It's horrible. And don't even get me started on not being able to eat what I want. On Hearts and Hooves day, I've been completely alone, only satisfying my fans. But what about me?" I exclaimed, my frustration evident in my tone.

"I know, Sunny. I know what you've been through. What worries me is that if everything comes to light, I'll never forgive myself," Blackjack's voice carried a note of concern.

I let out a sigh. "Don't worry, Blackjack-chan. Everything will be fine. We'll go to a secluded place where no pony will see us. There, we can... you know."

"I still haven't forgotten... How do you feel about it?" Blackjack's concern was genuine, her voice carrying a depth of care that resonated through the phone.

"Nervous... I've been thinking about it since we planned it. Sometimes I can't even sleep because it invades my mind—not in a bad way. I mean, I'm just excited to finally lose..." I lowered my voice, my words coming out in a whisper despite knowing my manager couldn't hear me, "...my virginity."

"It seems like you're sure of your decision. I'm glad that's the case. For now, focus on your concert. We don't want anything to go wrong," Blackjack said in her typical straightforward manner.

"You're right. I'm excited to see you again, Blackjack-chan. Later," I said before pressing the red button to end the call.

"Geitaidenwa o kaeshite hoshīdesu ka, soretomo gurōbubokkusu ni modoshite hoshīdesu ka?" (Do you want your phone back or should I put it back in the glove compartment?) I asked my manager, extending my hoof with the phone slightly forward.

"Sore o kure, hitsuyō ni narudarō. Kitto dairiten kara itsumo denwa ga kakatte kite, anata no koto o tazunerareru darō."" (Give it to me, I'll need it. The agency will surely be calling me every five seconds about you.) My manager reached out, keeping his eyes on the road, and took the phone, slipping it into his pocket.

"Matta, ano ponī to hanashite iru no? Ano ko wa Nihongo ga wakaranai no ni. Tokidoki, futari wa tomodachi ijō no kankei nan ja nai ka to omou yo." (Again talking to that pony who doesn't understand our language? Sometimes I wonder if you two are more than friends.) My manager's tone was teasing, though his curiosity was genuine. My feelings for Blackjack were... complicated. I wanted more, but given the circumstances, it wasn't possible.

"Kanojo wa tada no tomodachi desu. Mō anata ni itta yo, tada no yūjō. Watashitachi wa sawattari, kissu shitari shinai yo. Watashi wa, sore ga watashi no kyaria o dainashi ni suru koto o shitte iru." (She's just a friend. I already told you, it's just a friendship. We don't touch, kiss, or anything like that. I know that would ruin my career.) I said, turning to look out the car window, watching the streets and buildings pass by.

"Wakatteru, Sanī, wakatteru. Anata ga hoka no aidoru mitai ni natte shimau no ga shinpai na no. Kurumi ni nani ga okotta no ka kiita? Kanojo ni kareshi ga iru koto o fan wa itsu shirimashita ka? Kanojo no fan wa kanojo o nagutte, kerikette, kanojo wa subete o ushinaimashita. Tsugini nani ga okotta ka wa sudeni gozonji da to omou." (I know, Sunny, I know. I'm just worried that you'll end up like other idols. Did you hear about what happened to Kurumi? When her fans found out she had a coltfriend? They beat her up, they kicked her, they hit her, she lost everything. I guess you already know what happens after that.) My manager said, running a hoof over his tie, adjusting it nervously.

"Wakatteru, ano nyūsu wa hidoi monodeshita... Demo, watashi ni wa sonna koto wa okinai to kakushin shite imasu. Watashi wa subete o kontrolu shite imasu. Ima no tokoro paparacchi wa nanimo shirimasen, fan mo nanimo shirimasen. Watashi wa kanojo kara kyori o oku tsumori desu." (I know, that news was horrible... But I'm sure that's not going to happen to me. I have everything under control. For now, the paparazzi don't know anything, the fans don't know anything either. I'll keep my distance from her.) I placed my hoof on the door handle and lay my head on my other hoof, staring out the window as the scenery blurred by.

"Sō negatte imasu. Konsāto ni mukete junbi ga totonotte iru koto mo negatte imasu. Subete ga kanpeki ni susumu hitsuyō ga arimasu. Mainichi renshū o shite kita to omoimasu ga, junbi wa dekite imasu ka?" (I hope so, I also hope that you are prepared for the concert, everything has to go perfect. You have been practicing every day, do you feel ready?) My manager asked.

"Hai, okitara sūjikan renshū shite, ekusasaizu mo shimashita." (Yes, I was practicing for a couple of hours when I woke up and also did some exercises.) I assured my manager. He nodded, and my concentration shifted to the window.

As I looked out at the buildings and advertisements, all related to Hearts and Hooves Day, my thoughts drifted to Blackjack. For a few seconds, I distanced myself from reality and began to fantasize about the wonderful night we would have tonight.

Seeing the gyaru dressed in skirts, with hearts and bright colors, gave me an idea that Blackjack would surely like.

With Blackjack, I feel that I can be myself and not project a false image of myself, as I have done since my foalhood ended. Being an outsider, she does not know our oppressive customs. Perfection and positivity have been very important aspects in the lives of the Nippony ponies. The weak ones who cannot stand the pressure of Nippony will be considered trash, a waste that is worthless.

There is a group of young ponies on the streets, taking care of themselves by committing crimes, prostituting themselves. Thinking about that overwhelms me. That is not the life I want, but that's how I will end if I am myself...

And I wouldn't want that to happen to me... I wouldn't want to be on the street prostituting myself, having sex with old bald ponies who like young mares. Kimochi warui!

I wouldn't end up being a drug addict either. I wouldn't want that to become a form of escape. Clearly, I would die from an overdose. I don't know what it feels like to take drugs or even seen one, but they say that when you immerse yourself in them, it's very difficult to get out.

I don't know how long I can continue like this, but I will have to continue if I don't want that miserable life.

But I think as long as I have Blackjack by my side, that will never happen. Her presence is more than enough to make me feel like I can be myself. She knows it, I know it.

Being completely honest, I'm more excited about being with Blackjack than today's concert. I'm not saying I don't like it, but the fact of feeling free and expressing my true feelings, not having to lie to anypony, gives me a feeling of true happiness that I almost never experience in my daily life.

Hara ga tatsu of superficial relationships. I don't know when they lie to me, if they are hiding something from me. Hugh! The tatemae drives me crazy. Even worse, I have also had to do it and it is totally necessary if I want to survive in this society.

But what can I do? Maa, there's nothing I can do about that. They are customs, and we must respect them even if we do not agree. I alone could not make a difference. The only way would be for me to leave Niponny, but with what I have heard that there are mutations, murders everywhere in other cities scares me, including Marechester.

I don't know how to fight or use a weapon. I wouldn't survive a second. If I were like Blackjack, maybe I would think about leaving. That's something I also admire about her, how she fights against all kinds of mutations without feeling fear, nor flee, according to what she has told me about her travels from Marechester to here.

She told me about the Radroach, ewww. I hate insects, and the fact that they are mutated makes me more and more disgusted. I would run away from fear. I couldn't stand those bugs approaching me.

Oh Blackjack-chan, once again my head was filled with you, your beautiful black and red mane and your stunning bright eyes. I couldn't help it; I was lost in my world again. My feelings for you are very strong. I've been thinking about telling you a poem, but I never could because I know you wouldn't understand it... I guess one day I'll have to teach you Niponny because I have a poem that I always wanted to tell you.

Hoshi o kazoeru (Counting the stars)

Nami ga yume o tsugeru (The waves whisper of dreams)

Anata no namae o yobu (Calling out your name)

Short, simple but beautiful. Just for you. It would be the first thing I would tell you if you understood my language.

Our night will be egui!

We went through my favorite part of Shinjoku. The 3D billboards always impress me. I don't know what it's like in the cities of Equestria, but I guess this would be difficult to see elsewhere.

There was a heart that spun three hundred and sixty degrees. Every time it spun fast, it seemed to drop red glitter. It was beautiful. The color red, whenever I see it, reminds me of Blackjack.

Sometimes I wonder what we will do after our date today. Go to eat something? I don't know if I can. I can't eat what I want, and I certainly don't think Blackjack likes the simple, fat-free, sugar-free food that I'm forced to eat.

Walk in the park? It's so typical. We couldn't even hold each other's hooves. Physical contact is very strict. It's possible that other ponies will see us strangely if we kiss or hug.

Invite her to my apartment? I'm not sure. Some of my fans know where I live, and if they see me with her, they might think she's my marefriend or something, and I'd lose everything.

I'm very limited in options. I guess I'll have to ask her what we could do after because I want to keep seeing her.

Ima kangaete miruto... I still have a long way to go until my retirement day arrives. I'm nineteen years old, and my contract ends when I turn thirty. There is still a long way to go, and I have to endure all this.

Sometimes I don't know if I can handle it. If I'm complaining now, will it be like this for the rest of the years?

But what else could I do? I like to sing; it's the only thing I know how to do for now. Even if I tried to look for other talents, I wouldn't have time because I would be busy practicing songs and my performances. Everything has to be perfect.

My manager knocked on the car window, snapping me out of my thoughts. I leaned back, realizing we had arrived; I had been so lost in thought that I hadn't noticed. If he had opened the door, I might have fallen because my head was resting against it.

My manager opened the door when he saw it was safe. "Daijōbudesu ka, Sanī?" (Are you okay, Sunny?)"

"Daijōbu, chotto dake... monoomoi ni fukeru." (I'm fine, just a little... lost in thought.) I said, placing one hind hoof outside the car.

"Egao o wasurete wa ikenai koto o oboete oite kudasai. Nani o kangaete iru no ka wakarimasen ga, wasurete egao ni shūchū shite, konsāto ga kanpeki ni susumu yō ni shite hō ga ii deshō." (Remember not to forget to smile. I don't know what you're thinking, but forget it and focus on smiling, ensuring the concert goes perfectly.) My manager said, stepping back to give me space to get out.

"Wakatte imasu, watashi wa fan o yorokobase, konsāto o kanpeki ni shite, tsune ni egao de irareru yō ni saizen o tsukushimasu." (I understand, I'll make sure to delight the fans, make the concert perfect, and always keep a smile on my face.) I lied (建前). I didn't think that at all; I just wanted to finish this and spend the whole night with Blackjack.

Did I feel ashamed doing it? Yes, but there is nothing I can do. I cannot change something that has already been established and normalized. There might be ponies who don't agree, but they would be very few and would never be heard.

Out of the car, my manager and I kept our distance, zero physical contact. We trotted out of the building's parking lot. There were so many cars here; it seemed like there was no more room for anypony else. It was as if it were the most important event in the world...

I can already imagine how full the place will be. I'm not nervous about having so many eyes and gazes on me. What worries me is that due to a distraction, I might make a mistake—when I start singing, when the lights turn on. Sunny, do yourself a favor and don't think about Blackjack. You should focus until the song ends.

The ponies there didn't make any noise or fuss about the excitement of the concert. They simply spoke like civilized ponies; it is something that is highly respected here.

You will almost never hear ponies shout or express feelings so openly. Only when the concert starts do they have more freedom, but for now, this feels more like a funeral.

Sometimes, thinking about this makes me feel like a robot, like I have no personality because of the norms I am forced to follow. I'm sure that even domestic robots must have more personality than us Nippony ponies.

I saw Blackjack, standing apart from the others, probably because nopony would understand her. Nippony ponies, the majority of whom refuse to learn Equestrian, make it difficult for her to communicate. It's another thing I dislike about them, and it's probably why Blackjack feels so isolated.

She was leaning against a wall, dressed in her black and white security armor, with her hooves crossed. She looked very bored from waiting. I quickened my pace so she wouldn’t have to wait any longer.

As I approached, she heard my hoofsteps and recognized me. I had told her to call me Kiseki. If she called me by my idol name, we both knew what would happen: all these ponies would fall on me like an avalanche.

Blackjack left the wall and stood on all fours, trotting towards me. "Hey, Kiseki, it's good to see you! I was getting bored of waiting."

Kiseki Twinkle—my real name. Not many ponies know it besides Blackjack and my relatives.

"Blackjack-chan! It's good to see you. I missed you a lot," I said, extending my front hoof for a friendly touch, but she seemed to forget and wanted to hug me.

When Blackjack moved in for a hug, I stepped back. Even though I wanted to reciprocate, I couldn't hug her in public. "Don't hug me, Blackjack-chan. We can't do that... not here."

"Oh right, sometimes I forget Japany strange norms," Blackjack said, placing her front hooves back on the ground.

"I feel the same. There will be a moment for that." I moved a bit closer to Blackjack and extended my front hoof again. She did the same, and we touched hooves as a greeting. It's the most physical contact we can have in public.

Blackjack nodded her head. "You know, even if it doesn't seem like it, I'm excited about your concert. I wish I could understand the lyrics of your songs, but your voice—it's too adorable and pleasant to listen to."

Blackjack's words made me blush, and best of all, I knew she was being honest. "Domo arigato gozaimasu, Blackjack-chan. There may be a screen with the lyrics translated in Equestrian."

"That would be cool! I've been looking at that poster for a couple of minutes. It has a picture of you on it," Blackjack pointed with a front hoof, "along with the other members of your band. Can you translate what it says there?"

I turned around and saw the poster promoting the event on the Shabuya O-West building. I was posing along with Mizuki and Yuki. I stood in the front while Yuki was on the left and Mizuki on the right. Below us, there were texts that would be difficult for Blackjack to understand.

"It's just the name of the band and the schedule. My band is called Mona Lisa Overdrive," I explained to Blackjack. Mona Lisa Overdrive (モナリザ オーバードライブ) is a good name; it's been resonating throughout Nippony. It's hard to find ponies who don't know us.

"Mona Lisa... it's true, I've seen that group of symbols in some music stores I've been to. There were CDs and cards with your photo on them, and even a coffee shop called Mona Lisa Overdrive," Blackjack said, sidling up next to me. We both gazed at my band's poster.

"And you didn't buy anything? You could have supported me a little by buying something!" I teased Blackjack, raising my voice in feigned frustration.

"I just bought an ice cream, hahaha! Actually, I didn't even know that was the name of your band. I only went there because it was written in Equestrian, and I thought the ponies there would speak to me in my language," Blackjack said, tapping a hoof on the floor in laughter.

"My bad, I don't think I've ever told you. Have you already met Mizuki and Yuki? The other members of my band?" I asked Blackjack, directing my gaze towards her.

"Those ponies dressed in black won't let me get close to them. I just wanted to say hello, and I wanted to know what they thought of you, what your friendship was like," Blackjack said, raising a bent hoof.

I nodded slightly and put a hoof to my chin. "I would say our friendship is superficial... I'm not saying that I don't like them, but I don't know if they hide things from me to avoid making me feel bad. It's complicated..."

"And why do you think they lie to you?" Blackjack stood on two hooves, bending her front hooves.

"It's the tatemae, it's a custom here to say positive things to avoid conflicts and fights, even if it's not what you really think," I said, looking down. "It's good for generating a positive atmosphere, but still, not knowing what they really think of me makes me a little paranoid. I don't even know if they like singing with me or if they only do it because they don't have more options."

"Ohhh that's bullshit. That could explain the exaggerated formality I sometimes find here," Blackjack said, being herself. It's a good thing that nopony here understands her; otherwise, many would have looked at her strangely and walked away.

"One of the few times you can be yourself is at the nomikai. They are drinking parties you have with your bosses, where you can complain, and they won't say anything. But outside of that, everything changes," I sighed. "I wish it could be like that all the time, not only at the nomikai or specific moments where the honne is applied. Honne is the opposite of tatemae, where you can be yourself."

Blackjack wanted to put a hoof on me but then remembered that she couldn't. "It's fucked up. How can you live in such a... programmed way?" she asked, her frustration evident.

"I don't even know, I just do it because I have to, not because I want to. This is all a kuso that I've had to swallow since my foalhood ended," I said to Blackjack, kicking the ground with a front hoof.

Meanwhile, my manager was on the stairs of the building talking on the phone, probably with the agency. "Shinpaishinaide kudasai. Kanojo wa koko ni imasu. Soto de tomodachi to hanashite imasu ga, sūfungo ni wa modotte kite fuku o kiru yotei desu." (Don't worry, she's here. She's outside talking to a friend, but she'll be back in a few minutes to change.)

I hesitated. Should I go in now, or stay a little longer? I wanted to enjoy this moment of freedom for just a few more seconds.

"Don't worry, Kiseki. With me, you don't have to feel obligated to follow those stupid norms," Blackjack said, placing a hoof on her chest reassuringly.

"That's why I cherish every second with you, Blackjack-chan. I can't wait for tonight. I'll do my best to make you happy." I moved a little closer to Blackjack, hoping to feel our coats touch, even if just a little.

"Awesome, I'm glad you're up for that. Do you want me to tell you about my experience when I arrived in this city?" Blackjack let out a small laugh. "Trust me, I have a lot of things to tell you, most of them good, but I also have my frustrations with some things."

"To be honest, yes! I want to know how it went," I said eagerly. Just as I was about to sit down to listen to Blackjack, my manager motioned to me from the stairs, raising his hoof and pointing at his watch.

So soon? Just when we were getting to the best part of our conversation? I wanted to hear what Blackjack had to tell me, but I guess I'll have to leave it for later, chikusho! Why now?

"I'm sorry, Blackjack. I have to go. I'm sure the others are waiting for me inside," I told Blackjack and performed three quick bows in front of her.

"Don't worry about that. Tonight we'll have more freedom, if you catch my drift," Blackjack winked at me and tilted her head slightly towards me, careful not to touch.

I blushed, knowing exactly what she meant. The thought sent a shiver down my spine, and I couldn't wait for that moment.

I trotted towards the stairs where my manager stood. His expression was serious, and I guessed he thought I was too distracted by Blackjack and not focused enough on the concert. For now, I decided not to say anything.

I looked back for a few seconds and couldn't help but watch Blackjack's mane move with the wind as she trotted away; it was a beautiful sight that barely lasted five seconds.

"Anata wa konsāto yori mo ano ponī ni shūchū shite iru yō da ne. Jibun no kojin-tekina kyōmi to aidoru to shite no shigoto no baransu o toru koto wa totemo taisetsu da yo. Kore wa nanika no tame ja nai. Anata wa totemo taisetsu na bando no membā nan dakara. Donna machigai demo, subete muda ni naru." (I see that you are more focused on that pony than on the concert, you must know how to balance your personal interests with your work as an idol, this is not just anything, you are part of a very beloved band, any mistake, everything was going to be for nothing.) my manager said worriedly, as always.

"Kanojo wa tōku kara kita yūjin nanode, mushi suru wake ni wa ikanai. Kangei shite agenakya." (She is a friend who comes from far away, I can't just ignore her, I must make her feel welcome.) I said, walking up the stairs towards the entrance.

"Jimusho to hanashite ita n da kedo, kōun na koto de chikoku shita koto de okottenakatta yo. Kun wa watashitachi ga tōchaku shita toki ni hairubeki datta kedo, ano ponī to hanashi hajimeta. Mizuki to Yuki wa mō junbi dekiteru shi, kimi dake ga tarinai. Kun ni wa shūchū shite hoshī. Konsāto ga owatte fan to sugoshitara, ano ponī no tame no jikan ga dekiru yo." (I was talking to the agency, luckily they weren't angry for being late, you should have come in when we arrived but you started talking to that pony, Mizuki and Yuki are already ready and the only one missing is you, I just need you to focus, after the concert and spending time with your fans, you will have time for that pony) my manager said, opening the door for me.

"Wakatte iru yo, mada subete o oboete iru. Sutajio no soto ni iru toki demo, takusan renshū shite iru to itteita yo. Watashi wa kore o shinken ni uketomete iru shi, nanika ga umaku ikanakattara nani ga okoru ka mo shitteru." (I know, I still have everything memorized, I told you that I have been practicing a lot, even when I am out of the studio, I take this seriously and I know what could happen if something goes wrong) I said, entering the studio. The place was very dark compared to the outside. Seeing too many empty seats reminded me of how big this event would be. Although my mind had been elsewhere, I still knew what I had to do. I was sure that everything would turn out well.

"Minasan o fukai ni saseru tame ni kore o yatte iru wake de wa nai. Tada, watashitachi ga koko made kita koto o omotte iru dake da. Soshite, kono sū-nenkan ga tsumi ni natte hoshikunai to omotte iru dake da. Wakaru ka? Mona Riza wa saikō no aidoru bando no toppu ni iru. Sono chii o ushinaitaku wa nai." (I'm not doing this to make you uncomfortable, but just that we have come very far and I don't want all these years to have been in vain, do you understand? Mona Lisa is at the top of the best idol bands and I wouldn't want that to be lost.) my manager said. I understood his concern; this job was all he had. If something went wrong, it might be difficult for him to find another.

"Daijōbudesu yo, Platinum-sama. Rokkārūmu e mukaimasu. Konsāto wa ato dore kurai de hajimarimasu ka?" (Everything is going to be fine, Platinum-sama. I'm heading to the locker room. How long until the concert starts?) I asked my manager, since I don't have a watch I can't know the exact time.

My manager raised his hoof to look at his watch."Mada jikan wa arimasu. Ato sanjū-ppun de konsāto ga hajimarimasu, sore de jūbun deshō." (You still have time. The concert will start in thirty minutes, that should be enough.)

"Wakarimashita, mata atode aimashō." (Great, I'll see you later.) I made the ojigi before heading towards the locker room where Mizuki and Yuki would be waiting for me. They surely practiced even without me; they might be upset about that, but they won't express it openly, that's for sure.

Tatemae nante gomi da! But what else can I do? I guess I'll have to let go and let my robotic side out.

As I trotted through the bustling corridors of Shabuya O-west, the air hummed with anticipation and the faint echo of distant music rehearsals. The walls were adorned with posters of past performances, vibrant and alive with the energy of countless musicians who had graced these halls. Each poster told a story of its own, capturing moments frozen in time, a testament to the legacy of music that echoed through these halls.

The studio itself was a marvel of modern design, with sleek, polished surfaces and state-of-the-art lighting rigs hanging from the high ceiling. The main stage area stretched out before me, its expansive floor space marked by intricate patterns of LED lights that illuminated the area with a kaleidoscope of colors. Massive speakers lined the walls, poised to fill the room with sound that could shake the very foundations of the building.

Entering the locker room, I found Mizuki and Yuki engaged in animated conversation, their voices blending together in a soft murmur that hinted at the topic of their discussion. They were dressed in light pink and white outfits adorned with neko-themed gloves on their hooves, both front and back. The dresses featured a large heart on their chests, a nod to the whimsical charm our fans adored.

These outfits weren't merely for show; they embodied the kawaii aesthetic our fans loved. They conveyed a sense of innocence and playfulness, which we carefully balanced with our professional demeanor on stage. It was important to strike that delicate harmony—appearing as though we were just eager fillies discovering our musical talents while maintaining a polished performance.

I approached Yuki and Mizuki to greet them. "Ohayō, Mizuki-chan, Yuki-chan" (Good morning, Mizuki-chan, Yuki-chan), I said, bowing twice in quick succession. They returned the gesture with equal respect.

"Yatto kite kurete yokatta yo, matte ita yo." (It's good that you finally arrived, we were waiting for you), Yuki Flowers said, her neko ears twitching as she moved her head. It made me smile a little.

"Kitto kanojo wa purejekuto horaizunzu no ponī ni ki o torarete ita nodeshou, kanojo wa anata no gārufurendo ka nanika desu ka?" (Surely she was distracted by that pony from Project Horizons, is she your marefriend or something?), Mizuki said with a mischievous glint in her eye.

I blushed deeply. Blackjack-chan, my gārufurendo? As much as I would love that to happen, it’s just not possible right now. "Nandato?! Mochiron chigaimasu. Watashi no ryōshin wa watashi ga hinba to kankei o motsu koto ni kesshite dōi shimasen. Watashi wa rezubian de wa arimasen." (What?! Of course not. My parents would never agree that I have a relationship with a mare. I'm not a lesbian.) I lied, knowing that while it would indeed upset my traditional parents, they would never truly approve of me being with a pony of the same gender.

"Moshi sō nara, mōsukoshi hayaku kite ita to omoimasen ka? Shikashi, shinpaishinaide kudasai. Watashitachi wa anata o handan suru tsumori wa arimasen." (If so, you would have shown up a little earlier, don't you think? But don't worry, we're not going to judge you.) Mizuki said, using her unicorn magic to apply perfume to her yellow coat.

Yes, of course, I could tell by the movement of your lips that that's not what you think. I think you somehow dislike that I'm bisexual, but that's okay, let's leave that topic behind. Now is not the time for arguments.

I went to put on my dress. Usually, we would have to be dressed the same, plus I like what they are wearing. I hope Blackjack likes my neko dress.

"Ano ne, kore o mite, watashitachi ga purojekuto horaizonzu no fukikae o irai sa reta hi no koto o omoidashita no. Sanī-chan ga burakkujakku no koe o tantō shite, watashi ga mōningu gurōrī no koe o tantō suru koto ni natte, watashi no han'nō wa, 'Masaka!' tte kanjidatta wa. Marude guro manga no fukikae mitai de, sugoku fukaidatta wa." (You know, this reminded me of the day when they called us to do the dubbing of Project Horizons, and Sunny-chan had to voice Blackjack while I voiced Morning Glory. My reaction was like, 'Oh my...'. When I found out about my dialogues and the scenes, it was definitely not my thing. I mean, it was fun to dub with all of you, but it was like dubbing those guro mangas, extremely disturbing.) Yuki said, putting on makeup next to Mizuki.

Project Horizons (プロジェクトホライズン) This is how I met Blackjack. Although I had not seen her physically at that time, when I finally did, I was very surprised. Voicing her was fun, I must say, though somewhat disturbing for my taste. I'm not a fan of guro mangas. I don't know if Blackjack likes this so much, but I respect her tastes.

"Watashi no kyarakutā wa Ranpeiji to iu namae datta to omou yo. Kanojo wa tokidoki atama o uttareru yakudeshita. Saiaku datta no wa dai ni-jūni-shō de, kanojo ga ikita mama taberareta koto deshita." (I think my character was named Rampage. She was the one who sometimes got her head shot off. The worst was in chapter twenty-two when she was eaten alive.) Mizuki said, adjusting to her neko no te. We don't usually wear this type of clothing often, and for ponies, it's a bit complicated to move in them.

"Purojekuto Horizons o guro manga to kuraberu no desu ka? Purojekuto Horizons ni wa fukai bamen ga aru koto wa shitteru kedo, yūjin ga misete kureta guro manga to wa kurabemono ni narimasen. Sono manga wa hijō ni kitanakute, sono e ga atama kara hanarenakatta no."(Are you comparing Project Horizons to guro mangas? I know Project Horizons has its disturbing moments, but it's not comparable to the guro manga a friend showed me. That manga was extremely disturbing, and its image didn't leave my head.) I said. After finishing, there was silence between us. They both looked at me with wide eyes, this time showing genuine interest.

Sometimes we talk about taboo topics. Just because we're idols doesn't mean we can't discuss these things occasionally. It's good to have varied topics of conversation, including the curiosity we sometimes have about discovering dark topics that we obviously wouldn't talk about in public.

"Sore de, nani o mimashita ka? Kore to kurabete dore kurai waruidesu ka?" (And what did you see? How bad is it compared to this?) Mizuki asked, raising a hoof and leaning forward.

"Nante iu ka... Sukatorojī, wāmu, jii kōi o kumiawaseta mono de, sore o yatte iru no wa hinbadesu. Amari rokotsu ni shitakunai ndesu. Konsāto no tochū de haite hoshikunaidesu kara ne." (How do I say it... it combines scatology, worms, and masturbation, and the pony who is doing it is a filly. I prefer not to be so graphic, you know? I wouldn't want you to vomit in the middle of the concert.) I said sarcastically, avoiding being too explicit. Just hearing those words would make anypony feel nauseous.

Mizuki and Yuki were momentarily shocked when they heard me. They looked at each other simultaneously. Yuki covered her mouth with a hoof, and their reactions were priceless.

You can find that and more in the ero-guro mangas that are sold. Sometimes I wonder what Blackjack thinks about them. Does she really like them? It's possible she drew inspiration from some of these stories while working on Project Horizons.

"Taitoru ya hyōshi, don'na kanji datta ka oboete imasu ka?" (And do you remember the title, the cover, what it looked like?) Mizuki asked. From the movement of her lips and eyebrows, I could tell she was genuinely curious about the name of that manga, applying honne, huh? That's not very common.

Before I could answer, Yuki stepped forward and fixed her gaze on Mizuki."Nande son'na koto shiritai no? Mizuki-chan wa sō iu no ga sukina no? Anata tte henjin ne." (Why do you want to know that? Do you like that kind of stuff, Mizuki-chan? You're a weirdo.)

"'Nani datte?! Īe, mochiron chigaimasu. Tada no kōkishindesu.'" (What?! No, of course not. It's just curiosity.) Mizuki said, tilting her head back in surprise. Clearly, nopony would dare admit in front of their friends that they like that kind of thing, but judging from Mizuki's facial expressions, I knew she was telling the truth.

"Sore wa 'Azuka: Za Furīkushō' to iimasu. Azuka Radiance to iu mesu no koma to Tsuki Symphony to iu osu ga shichinenme de, pōsuto apokariputikku na Nipponī ni oite jibun o mitsukemashita. Soshite reidā ga futari o torikonde, hidoi koto o suru koto ga arimasu." (It's called Azuka: The Freakshow. It's about a filly called Azuka Radiance and a colt named Tsuki Symphony, both are seven years old and find themselves in a post-apocalyptic Nippony, where some raiders capture them and do horrible things to them.) I said. Remembering it gave me chills. I shared the same curiosity as Mizuki, although I couldn't read it completely, the pages I did see left a mark on me.

"Ā, Serestia, sore o katte, watashitachi no dochira ga zenbu yomeru ka kurabete mimashou." (Oh my Celestia, we should buy it and see which of us can read it in its entirety) Mizuki said, speaking slowly.

"Watashi mo onaji koto o omoimasu. Ketsumatsu mo shiritai desu." (I think the same, I would also like to know how it ends.) I said, applying my honne.

"Anata-tachi futari ga shinken ni ano manga o yonde iru nante shinjirarenai. Isshō torauma ni naritai to omotte iru mitaida."(I can't believe you two are serious about reading that manga. It's like you want to end up traumatized for life.) Yuki said. Her disbelief made me laugh. Of all of us, she is the most sensitive, but by the way she moved her eyes and the speed at which she spoke, I could sense she also wanted to know a little about what happens in the manga.

"Yuki-chan mo yomitai tte mitome nasai yo. Kakushite mo muda da yo." (Admit that you also want to read it Yuki-chan, there's no use hiding it.) Mizuki teased Yuki, leaning her head forward while Yuki leaned back, lifting one bent hoof slightly off the ground.

"Etto... demo, sono manga wa kawanai yo! Sōshitara kareshi ni watashi ga sō iu no ga sukina n datte omowarechau kara."(Well... but I'm not going to buy that manga, okay?! Then my coltfriend is going to think that I like those things.) Yuki said. Though it was true she was somewhat curious, she definitely wouldn't buy it. The pressure of having to hide it from her coltfriend could be stressful. We live with enough pressure as it is, and adding more over something so trivial would make her outright refuse.

"Sanī-chan nara kaeru yo. Dokushin dakara apāto ni oite oku no mo kantan dashi." (Sunny-chan could buy it. I mean, she's single so she could easily keep it in her apartment.) Mizuki suggested. I knew she would say that. I couldn't help but raise a hoof to my face and shake my head in feigned disappointment.

It doesn't affect me at all. I've been alone in that apāto for years, so having ero-guro mangas stored there is not a problem for me. Plus, if Blackjack lived with me, she wouldn't care at all. So I think it would be better if I were the one to save up and buy it.

Who would have thought? Being with ponies outside of Nippony is much better.

While most ponies here isolate those who don't understand our language and customs, being with one is definitely superior because you can be authentic with yourself.

Everypony would expect me to force her to follow my customs but clearly I won't do that, kesshite yaranai...

"Wakatta, jikan ga dekitara kau yo. Paparatchi ya fan ga doko e demo tsuite kuru no ga taihen da kara, kimi mo sou shitteru hazu da yo." (Alright, I'll buy it when I have time, you know how hard it is to deal with paparazzi and fans following you everywhere.) I said, bringing a hoof to my head, scratching myself, and briefly closing my eyes.

An event manager entered the dressing room where we were. Oh yes, the concert—I had definitely been distracted.

"Junbi o shite kudasai, minasan wa ima kara sutēji ni denakereba narimasen, konsāto ga mōsugu hajimarimasu." (Get ready, girls, you need to go out on stage now. The concert is about to start.) He said, bowing and gesturing with his hoof.

We all nodded. The event manager had three microphones levitating with his unicorn magic. I wished I could do magic; it would make my life a bit easier. But now isn't the time to think about that. I have to focus on our concert. I still remember the lyrics and the exact movements we need to do.

I have to concentrate, forget about Blackjack for now. I need to please my fans and give my best. After this, I'll have time for everything else. I've practiced so long for this, I can't risk getting fired from the group.

The three of us headed towards the stage. It was all dark; the curtain shielded us from the audience. It would surely be very full.

I'm not worried about the large number of ponies watching us. What worries me are the distractions.

"Minasan, yōkoso! Watashitachi no okiniiri no aidoru bando, Mona Riza Ōbādoraibu ni yoru Hāto to Hi no ibento e." (Welcome, everypony, to the Heart and Hooves Day event, featuring our favorite idol band, Mona Lisa Overdrive.) The announcer's animated introduction ended, and the curtain slowly opened. The noise of the ponies became evident, and I could hear a large number of happy screams from our fans, excited for the song we would sing today. The sad thing is they think we are dedicating it to them, but this is just business.

The curtain opened, revealing a sea of excited ponies, their faces lit up with joy. Penlights of various colors illuminated the entire studio, creating a mesmerizing spectacle despite the lack of windows. The vibrant glow made it feel like a night concert, even though it was daytime.

Many ponies waved signs adorned with our band's logo, moving them energetically from side to side. The sheer number of fans was overwhelming. My eyes instinctively searched for Blackjack, but finding her in the massive crowd was impossible.

But that didn’t matter now. I had to focus on singing and give my best performance.

The three of us stood on our hind hooves, ready to begin. I would sing the first part of the song. I brought the microphone close to my lips, ready to deliver the opening line.

Mona Lisa Overdrive - Blue Skies (モナリザ オーバードライブ- 青い空)

"Jinsei wa kadai ni michita michidesu" (人生は課題に満ちた道です - Life is a path full of challenges)

As I sang, Mizuki and Yuki jumped lightly beside me, moving their heads rhythmically like fillies. Mimicking their gestures, I leaped and raised my hoof towards the sky.

"Demo bokura wa itsumo kagayaiteru" (でも僕らはいつも輝いてる - But we are always shining)
"Kanashimi sae mo, egao ni kaeru" (悲しみさえも、笑顔に変える - Turning even sadness into smiles)
"Tomodachi to issho ni iru" (友達と一緒にいる - Being together with friends)

The audience's cheers grew louder, their energy fueling our performance. Mizuki took over the next part, her voice blending seamlessly with mine.

"Kokoro wa hitotsu ni naru" (心は一つになる - Our hearts become one)
"Kibō no hikari ga sasu" (希望の光が差す - A ray of hope shines)
"Yume wa sora no kanata" (夢は空の彼方 - Dreams are beyond the sky)

Yuki joined in, her voice adding harmony, creating a beautiful blend that resonated through the studio.

"Aoi sora ni, negai wo komete" (青い空に、願いを込めて - With a wish in the blue sky)
"Mirai e to habataku" (未来へと羽ばたく - We soar towards the future)
"Subete wa ai no tame ni" (すべては愛のために - All for the sake of love)

As the chorus approached, the three of us sang together, our voices merging perfectly.

"Aoi sora, aoi sora, Haruka na sora e" (青い空、青い空、遥かな空へ - Blue skies, blue skies, to the distant sky)
"Aoi sora, aoi sora, Kokoro hitotsu ni" (青い空、青い空、心一つに - Blue skies, blue skies, with one heart)
"Aoi sora, aoi sora, Eien no ai" (青い空、青い空、永遠の愛 - Blue skies, blue skies, eternal love)

I scanned the crowd for Blackjack for a few moments and, as I imagined, she was isolated from the others. When the ponies around her heard her speaking Equestrian, they must have distanced themselves. But Blackjack didn't seem to care. She stood on her hind hooves by a column, her front hooves resting against it. Her determined smile and slightly raised head were a silent gesture of support. Her beautiful red eyes locked onto mine, sending a tingle through me. Although I could only glance at her for a few seconds, it was enough to make me blush. I quickly turned away, spinning gracefully on my hind hooves, extending my front hooves downward in a fluid motion to hide my reddened cheeks.

Sunny, focus on the song... Maybe if I pretend the song is for her, I can calm my nerves. Forget about everypony else and sing to Blackjack.

I turned back to the microphone, ready to deliver the final part of our song.

"Yorokobi o ataete kuremasen ka?" (喜びを与えてくれませんか - Won't you give me some joy?)

"Aozora no shimo, hidzume ni tsukama rete" (青空の下、蹄に掴まれて - Under the blue sky, taken by the hooves)

As I sang these lines, Mizuki and Yuki moved in sync beside me, their movements mirroring mine as we danced gracefully across the stage. I imagined Blackjack's eyes on me, her supportive presence giving me strength.

"Kibō no hikari ga sasu michi o" (希望の光が差す道を - A path lit by a ray of hope)
"Futari de aruite yukō" (二人で歩いて行こう - Let’s walk together, just the two of us)
"Yume wa sora no kanata ni" (夢は空の彼方に - Dreams are beyond the sky)

The audience's cheers grew louder, their energy fueling our performance. Mizuki took over the next part, her voice blending seamlessly with mine.

"Yasashī kaze ga fuku hi" (優しい風が吹く日 - On a day when gentle winds blow)
"Kokoro wa tokimeku" (心はときめく - My heart flutters)
"Anata no egao o" (あなたの笑顔を - Your smile)
"Kesshite wasurenai" (決して忘れない - I will never forget)

Yuki joined in, her voice adding harmony, creating a beautiful blend that resonated through the studio.

"Ai wa kirei na hana" (愛は綺麗な花 - Love is a beautiful flower)
"Sotto saku yorokobi" (そっと咲く喜び - The joy that gently blooms)
"Anata to iru dake de" (あなたといるだけで - Just being with you)
"Watashi wa kagayaku" (私は輝く - I shine)

As the chorus approached, the three of us sang together, our voices merging perfectly.

"Aoi sora, aoi sora, Haruka na sora e" (青い空、青い空、遥かな空へ - Blue skies, blue skies, to the distant sky)
"Aoi sora, aoi sora, Kokoro hitotsu ni" (青い空、青い空、心一つに - Blue skies, blue skies, with one heart)
"Aoi sora, aoi sora, Eien no ai" (青い空、青い空、永遠の愛 - Blue skies, blue skies, eternal love)

Our synchronized movements and the heartfelt lyrics created an electrifying atmosphere. The audience responded with even more enthusiasm, their cheers echoing throughout the studio.

As the music flowed and we sang in harmony, I couldn't help but wonder what Mizuki and Yuki thought of my little mistake earlier. The moment I blushed and turned away from Blackjack, I felt a pang of embarrassment. Did they notice? Did they read the situation and sense my distraction? It's hard to tell. I can't read the air while I'm singing. My focus is on the lyrics, the melody, and the performance.

Did they do the Kuuki wo yomu on me? Did they realize?

Their emotions and expressions are hidden from me right now. They're professional enough to conceal any hint of disapproval or amusement.

"Jinsei wa magarikunetta michi" (人生は曲がりくねった道 - Life's a twisted road)

I raised the microphone to my lips, the spotlight warming my coat as I sang. Mizuki and Yuki danced gracefully beside me, their movements as fluid as the melody. The audience swayed in rhythm, their penlights flickering like stars in the dim studio.

"Issho ni ayunde ikou" (一緒に歩んでいこう - Let's walk it together)

Yuki stepped forward with a delicate twirl, her voice clear and melodious.

"Hikari terasu kimi no egao" (光照らす君の笑顔 - Your smile that lights up)

Her hooves moved in sync with the beat, radiating joy and warmth to the audience.

"Ai no kaze ga fuku machi de" (愛の風が吹く街で - In a town where the wind of love blows)

Following Yuki, Mizuki took center stage with a playful skip, her voice strong and vibrant.

"Sakura no hana no yō ni" (桜の花のように - Like cherry blossoms in bloom)

Her hooves dancing lightly across the stage. The lyrics she sang were an ode to the fleeting yet breathtaking moments of life, capturing the hearts of the audience.

"Haru no kaze ni yurete" (春の風に揺れて - Swaying in the spring breeze)

As the song concluded, the studio erupted into applause, the resonance of our voices fading into the cheers of our fans. I glanced over at Blackjack, her supportive gaze still fixed on me.

Now that we have finished the song, we should organize ourselves for the cheki (チェキ), where we take photos, talk, and have more intimate interactions with the fans. On the one hoof, I like the kind words they dedicate to me and how excited they are to have even a minimum of physical contact with me.

The sad part is the false dream we give them, making them believe they have some kind of opportunity to have a romantic relationship with me, Mizuki, or Yuki. I don't like giving false hope, but this is part of my career as an idol, and there's not much I can do.

Half an hour passed, and in another part of the studio, Mizuki, Yuki, and I met, each at our own booth. At least I can be happy that they also have their groups of fans, so not all the attention is on me. They sing just as well, if not better than me, and they are more professional too.

I had to keep a smile at all times, giving the appearance of a happy and playful filly. Even though, at this moment, I just wanted to put a hoof on my head and reflect on my situation, I couldn't. I didn't feel like smiling right now, but do my personal problems matter now? No, the only thing that matters is keeping my fans happy during this moment.

"Ō, Sanī, aishiteimasu! Anata ga hinbadatta toki kara nan-nen mo anata no fandesu. Mite kudasai, koko ni wa anata ga 9-sai no toki no shashin ga arimasu!" (Oh Sunny, I love you! I've been a fan of yours for years, since you were a filly. Look, here I have a photo of you when you were nine years old!) one of my fans told me. It wasn't surprising that it was an older pony; fans can be of all ages, but the majority are stallions.

"Hontōni arigatō, nan-nen mo issho ni ite kurete ureshii desu." (Thank you so much, I'm glad you've been with me all these years.) My fan and I held each other's hooves. He was happy to have physical contact with me; I could see it in his eyes. I was already used to this. It just bothered me that we might not see each other again until the next cheki session.

Before the minutes were up—we only have one minute to interact with each fan—he asked me to autograph the photo he had of me, and I gladly did so.

We had to continue for two hours before we could finally leave. Even though I have to sit in this chair for hours, saying nice things, it may seem simple, but it is very emotionally exhausting. Sometimes, I would like to get up and go out for some fresh air.

I have taken multiple photos with fans, signed autographs, and been careful with my words. Sometimes I have to speak to them indirectly, as if I were their girlfriend, to make them happy and ensure nopony is disappointed. It's a complex task that drains me so much.

But I feel like I have no right to complain. Thanks to them, I am where I am.

I've been with more than fifty fans today, and I think I've done a good job of satisfying them all. I wonder how Mizuki and Yuki are doing. For them, leaving their personal problems aside and focusing on work should not be a problem. They are deeply attached to our customs. From the place where they were born, they must have been traditional and ended up accepting them. Quite the opposite of my case—I do not agree with these customs.

I wonder what would happen if I accepted these customs as part of my life. How different would it be? I probably don't think it would make much difference. I think my friendship with Blackjack would never have formed, and I would probably have to lie to all the ponies every day and only be myself when it is possible.

I think... I don't regret my decision. Having a life like that, from my point of view, is horrible since nothing is authentic and everything is based on forming an environment of harmony based on white lies.

I had my gaze downward for a few seconds, but then I heard the sound of hoofsteps. I inevitably raised my gaze, expecting to see another fan. But instead, it was... Nantekotta?! Blackjack-chan? I didn't imagine seeing her here. I thought she wasn't interested in these things.

I leaned back in surprise. "Blackjack-chan? What are you doing here? I thought you had already left."

"I thought about it a little and said, why not? Besides, I can't come to Tokyolt very often. I figured it would be better to take advantage of every moment we have together," Blackjack said, placing her hooves on the counter.

I extended my hooves toward Blackjack's so we could hold each other's hooves. I missed doing this.

Blackjack extended her hooves too and took mine, raising them a little. I couldn't help but blush. I wanted to kiss her on the lips, but I couldn't. There were a lot of ponies here, and I wouldn't want a fan to see us.

"Sugoi! That's a good idea. And what did you think of our song? Did you like it?" I asked, stroking Blackjack's hooves.

"Of course. They finally took the trouble to translate the lyrics on the screen. I really enjoyed listening to you. I love your voice," Blackjack said, bringing her face closer to mine. I could see it in her eyes; she wanted to touch me and do dirty things with me. I'd love to do that, but I'll have to wait.

"Arigatou, Blackjack-chan... I guess you noticed that I couldn't stop looking at you while I was singing," I said, looking to the side.

"Yeah, I noticed. I know I'm too beautiful, but you should focus more on your song than on me," Blackjack said sarcastically, laughing. What she says is true, but my feelings for her are so strong that it's hard to avoid it.

"I know, but it's difficult for me, you know? I've never had a connection as special as this. It's not only your appearance; I also like who you are, your sarcasm, and your frankness. It's one of the things that," I got a little closer to Blackjack and lowered the tone of my voice, without making it too obvious that I was telling her a secret, "that I love about you." I didn't know if there were fans who spoke Equestrian, so any expression of love or affection towards Blackjack had to be kept hidden.

Blackjack tried to cover her blush with her bangs, preventing me from seeing her eyes. "Thank you, Sunny. It's been a while since I heard nice words directed at me. I love every minute I spend with you. I'd love to come here more often, but I have a lot to do in Marechester."

"I know, we live very far from each other, so I'll do everything I can to make this night perfect." I looked around to make sure there weren't any fans watching.

Making sure nopony was watching, I kissed my hoof and then placed it on Blackjack's cheek. It was the closest thing to a kiss I could give her.

I checked the timer, and it was at zero. What a shame. Do I even need to say that this was the best interaction I've ever had during a cheki? Blackjack isn't just a fan; she's much more than that. She's a friend, and possibly, though I have my doubts, my future marefriend.

Leaving Tokyolt... I don't know. They say that other parts of Equestria are very dangerous. Not just the mutations, but also the ponies you can encounter. There are serial killers and ponies who kill for fun. It's not very common here, so at least I feel safe. That's one positive aspect of Nippony, I suppose. But in exchange, you get oppressive customs and superficial relationships.

A calculating machine... sometimes I feel like that, like a programmed machine. I guess I'll have to ask Blackjack to help me with my training, so I can defend myself in case of danger in the wasteland. But for now, I prefer to be here.

"We'll see each other later, Blackjack-chan. Unfortunately, we only have a minute for interactions during the chekis," I said, pulling my hooves away from Blackjack's.

"I know. That's what the translator told me. I'll go rent the RV and pick you up at your apartment," Blackjack replied softly, ensuring no pony would overhear our plan.

As Blackjack left the scene, I longed to leave with her, but duty bound me here for another forty minutes, satisfying more fans.

Stopping for a moment, Blackjack glanced back at me. She lifted a front hoof and waved goodbye. Her departure left me feeling a bit disheartened, but I knew the wait would be worth it.

Night had fallen, and finally the moment had arrived. I was nervous; I had never experienced sex before. Thoughts raced through my mind about how it would feel, what sensations would arise when another mare touched me intimately.

I wouldn't know until it happened. To make things better, I dressed in a schoolgirl uniform. I was certain Blackjack would appreciate it. I could already imagine her reaction in my head.

Hidden in an alley near my apartment, I stayed out of sight from fans and paparazzi. They were unpredictable, so I had to be cautious when emerging, always seeking cover to avoid detection.

My long, white and pink mane and my pink coat gave me the appearance of an anime pony. I wasn't sure if Blackjack had such fantasies, but I came prepared for anything. I wanted to embody a childish and anime-like appearance to potentially fulfill her desires—and because I enjoyed it too!

My mane was combed perfectly, and I put on the best perfume I had. My seifuku consisted of a white shirt with a red tie and a vest. I also wore long white socks and shoes. Blackjack was sure to get a nosebleed when she saw how sexy I looked! Hahahaha!

I also had a black randoseru where I kept some of my sex toys. I brought a strap-on, which I bought in case I ever had a sexual partner, and a heart-shaped butt plug. I thought this would be enough to excite Blackjack and share another of my fantasies with her.

There's no doubt Blackjack would like it. For some reason, she added many references to anime and our culture, like that Onna no ko called Sekashi. I wonder if we could watch anime together someday.

I've never been in an RV before, but I don't think they have a terebi inside... at least not for now. Technology advances very quickly.

Oh! Here she comes, that must be Blackjack-chan. I didn't fully expose myself to the street to avoid being recognized, especially dressed in this provocative way.

She arrived in a white 2001 Toyoti Camroad with blue lines on the sides. It was like a portable house. I'm not a vehicle expert, but I would like to have one. It would be great to travel to other places in Nippony without spending so much on the shinkansen. I'd like to visit Kyocolt sometime, but the trips are very expensive.

Blackjack parked in front of me, near the alley, to avoid being out on the street. She used her unicorn magic to open the door, and I quickly trotted into the RV, closing the door behind me.

"Konbanwa, Blackjack-chan. I'm glad to see you again. We're going to have a lot of fun," I said, looking around the RV. It was small and not very spacious, with a couch in the corner that we could use for our activities. Maybe it's not the best place, but it's much safer than my apartment. I want to have quiet sex without worrying about the paparazzi watching me—those kuso yarō-domo could publish those images on the internet and expose me, bringing shame on all of Nippony.

"Same here, Sunny. Luckily, I didn't get lost this time and didn't crash... you know I'm not very good at driving," Blackjack replied, scratching her mane.

"You better be very careful. I don't want to die in an accident," I said sarcastically as I placed my randoseru on the dining table. I don't know how to drive either. I've never touched a steering wheel in my life, so it doesn't matter who's driving; there are still risks.

"I have the most famous idol in my vehicle. Obviously, I'll be careful. I'll go slower," Blackjack said, signaling me with her left hoof to come closer.

I trotted towards her and stood behind the left seat. I would sit there, but I can't risk being recognized in the middle of the road.

"I'll need your help to guide me where I should go since I have no idea where that mountain is," Blackjack said. Even though we could do it right here, parked near my apartment, it could still be dangerous. I wanted to ensure that there would be no risks.

"Sure, I'll guide you from here. I can't sit next to you while we're still in the city," I replied, positioning myself behind the driver's seat where Blackjack was.

She accelerated, and we began our trip to the mountains. There are almost no ponies living there, so it is unlikely that we will be followed. At least, that's what I hope. If some ponies travel all the way from Hakidate to here just to see me, they are capable of anything.

"What the hell, Sunny? Are you going to school or something?" Blackjack asked incredulously, chuckling as she glanced at me through the rearview mirror.

"Of course not! This is just a uniform I put on to look... sexy, for you," I replied, lowering my voice as I spoke. "I could sit in the passenger seat for a few minutes so you can see it better."

"We'd probably end up having an accident if you did that, and I'm trying not to exceed thirty kilometers," Blackjack replied, the intimate atmosphere in the RV palpable with sexual tension.

Despite my outward demeanor, I was nervous, my body trembling slightly—not from the air conditioning's cold, but from the anticipation of experiencing my first sexual encounter tonight.

"If you could drive better, maybe we could even kiss passionately while you drive," I teased Blackjack playfully.

"Are you mocking my driving skills? You should be grateful that I'm at least competent, even though I wrecked my Ferrani a few days ago. I still have three more cars left," Blackjack retorted, feigning frustration while suppressing a laugh.

"That's precisely what I'm afraid of. You must have already created your own cemetery of wrecked cars. Also, the fact that you like alcohol a lot and drive is not a good combination, to say the least," I said, gripping tightly onto the seat in front of me—it was the only thing I had to hold onto.

"I've only wrecked two cars, and since I got here, I haven't been drinking much. Believe me, you wouldn't like to see that side of me," Blackjack replied, her tone serious despite the slow speed she maintained.

"What does it feel like to be drunk? I've never had a drink in my life, not just because I can't, but because I don't like it," I asked Blackjack, curious.

"Depending on how much alcohol you've had, the effects can vary. But first, you start talking nonsense, have vision problems, and lose your balance," Blackjack explained, lifting and gesturing with her left hoof.

"Those are definitely more reasons for me not to drink. It's common here to find ponies lying in the street because they've had too much," I remarked to Blackjack.

"Hah! Yes, I've seen them. And on top of that, you might end up vomiting and desperately needing to pee. Reminds me of those weird toilets I've come across," Blackjack chuckled. I could already imagine her colorful commentary on those toilets here—I had to stifle a laugh.

"When I was using one, the first thing that surprised me was seeing so many buttons. I mean, how much can you really do with a fucking toilet? And the worst part was that it wasn't translated into Equestrian, so I couldn't understand anything it said. I had to go by the symbols," I interrupted Blackjack briefly as I raised my left hoof, indicating where she should turn to head towards the mountains.

"I pressed the symbol of a butt and a water drop. When I did, I nearly jumped in fright because it 'splashed my fucking ass!'" Blackjack exclaimed, briefly hitting the steering wheel dramatically with her hoof.

I couldn't help but burst into laughter. My usually sweet and tender voice disappeared in that moment, replaced by a laugh that sounded more like a seal's bark.

"But you liked it, didn't you? Maybe... it caught you by surprise, but you'll get used to them quickly. I enjoy using them; they're quite relaxing," I managed to say to Blackjack between fits of laughter.

"To be honest, yeah, it was. It even gave me a pussy wash, quite relaxing. Would've been better if it had been translated so I knew what each function does," Blackjack said, leaning back in her seat and steering with her magic.

"You know, there are businesses here that cater to ponies who don't understand Nippony. Did you know that? They probably translate toilets and other stuff so you can understand and have a better experience," I told Blackjack, who's always struggled with the language since she got here. It worries me—I don't want the only reason she comes here to be because of me.

"I had no fucking idea, but thanks for the heads-up. Good to know. Guess I've been looking in the wrong places," Blackjack said, placing her hind hooves on the RV's dasshubōdo.

"Blackjack-chan, what can you tell me about the internet? I've been curious, you know? Mizuki and Yuki told me that Mona Lisa Overdrive has its own website, but I've never visited it. I'm hesitant to get online because I'm worried my fans might find my username and start messaging me," I asked Blackjack. She was relaxed, using her magic to steer while almost lying down in the driver's seat, yet still attentive to the road.

"Well, it's a tool for accessing a ton of information. I mainly use it for watching funny animations, like 'A Kirin in Harmony Kingdom,' which is basically a parody of life in the Great Ponytain. You can find pages that compile data on the war, even images of my vagina," Blackjack said casually, her words catching me off guard.

"Hontou ni?! Are there really pictures like that on the internet?" I asked, leaning back with wide eyes.

"Yeah, PH isn't censored in HK. There are some horny assholes who compile images from the chapters where you can see my vagina, Glory's and P-21's cocks, and they make collections. It doesn't really bother me; at least they're useful for masturbation material," Blackjack replied calmly, a nonchalance that was hard for me to comprehend. Did she truly not care that her private parts were exposed across the wasteland?

"Are you serious, Blackjack-chan? Aren't you embarrassed that you're exposed to the whole wasteland?" I asked Blackjack, my concern evident in my voice.

"I've been exposed for a long time, especially as PH got more sexual when my nymphomania worsened. So don't worry about that. To prevent your fans from finding out who you are, it's better to create a username. You don't have to use your real name," Blackjack replied, her tone matter-of-fact as she maneuvered closer to the mountains. I extended my hoof to the right, signaling her to make the turn, the RV's interior growing darker as we moved further away from the city.

"I'm a bit worried. My fans aren't like yours. I sell them hope, a dream that will never come true. It makes them obsessed with me. If they discover my online presence, they might start bombarding me with messages, adding even more pressure," I added, extending my left hoof to guide Blackjack on the next turn.

"I understand, your fans are... creepy. But if all you're interested in is visiting Mona Lisa's page, I could bring my computer," Blackjack suggested, her tone empathetic toward my situation.

"Not just that, I also want to read blogs. Maybe I could even start my own, where I do a top ten list of my favorite anime and share some drawings. I've heard there are computer programs for drawing," I explained to Blackjack, feeling a spark of excitement.

"In that case, it would be wise not to reveal any personal information or anything that might give away that you're Sunny. That way, they probably wouldn't figure out your identity. You'll have to be really careful," Blackjack cautioned. As we ventured deeper into the mountains, where light was sparse, I could only see the soft white aura emanating from Blackjack's horn.

Now that Blackjack mentioned it, nopony knows my true personality. Most of my relationships are superficial. If I were to reveal my true self on the internet, it would be nearly impossible for anypony to recognize me.

Computers are very expensive... I'll have to save up and buy one. Then I could communicate with Blackjack from afar and have more forms of entertainment in my lonely Apāto. I don't remember any other pony ever entering.

Sometimes, I wish I could receive visits from acquaintances, but I almost never do. They think they would be invading my personal space, and when I plan something, instead of saying no directly, they do everything possible not to say no, which annoys me a bit.

But even if it's temporary, I will take advantage of every second, every moment with Blackjack, because who knows when she'll be back.

We were approaching an area where it was possible to see the entire city. There were no houses, no stations, nothing. It was just Blackjack and me here, which was perfect for having sex quietly.

I was completely sure that nopony saw us, and I didn't see the lights of any vehicles either, so we were definitely not followed. This made me feel calmer. I know my career is at stake with this, but my mental health is worth more.

I extended my front hoof to signal Blackjack where to park. It was a beautiful spot with a view of almost all of Tokyolt.

From afar, I could see a big heart in the sky, created by several unicorns. The heart emitted red glows throughout various parts of the city—it was very romantic.

Blackjack parked the vehicle, and I took advantage of the moment to cover the blinds. There was no way to look inside the RV now. We were in the dark, and you couldn't see outside, but I wanted to make sure.

Using her horn, Blackjack cast a spell to illuminate the interior of the vehicle, making it easier to move around. "I'm sure there must be a control panel around here to light this area."

"And there's no bed? Will we have to do it in these very small seats?" I asked, not complaining but curious. This was my first time in one of these vehicles.

"If you look up, the bed is there. To make more space, you have to pull it toward you," Blackjack said, pressing a button that illuminated the central area of the RV.

Blackjack, looking at my uniform, leaned back with a confident smile. "Woah! Fuck me sideways and call me a bitch, you look very pretty. You even have a backpack—what are you carrying in there? Notebooks, books, pencils?" she said sarcastically. I couldn't help but smile.

"Funny, but I have something much better," I said, taking my randoseru and pulling out my sex toys—the butt plug and the strap-on. I placed them on the table.

"You really did come prepared. I guess it's the first time you've used those toys, especially the strap-on," Blackjack said, trotting toward me.

"Yes, in fact, I have already used the butt plug, but not so much because I don't want my fans to see me using it. I don't know, sometimes I feel watched and I hardly give myself pleasure," I told Blackjack. She placed a comforting hoof on me. Even with all the curtains closed, I sometimes feel like they are watching me somewhere.

"Idol life is hell, let me tell you, but right now don't think about that, alright? I'm going to prepare the bed." Blackjack used her magic to move the bed, creating more space. She then pulled down a ladder from above to climb up safely.

"You know, Blackjack-chan, there are several things I wanted to try since I've never had sex before," I said, climbing the stairs and getting comfortable. "Would you like me to act like a filly while you have sex with me?"

"Why would you do that?" Blackjack asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It's... a fantasy of mine. I don't know what you think about it, but I like it because it reminds me of my younger days, when I was happier and didn't have to worry about social pressure or the gaman." Gaman (我慢) is another thing that bothers me here. It has its positive side, but it can lead to psychological problems that I have to fight every day so that it does not affect me. Not expressing stress over a difficult situation is very mentally exhausting. "And having sex while acting like that turns me on a lot because it's like I'm reliving that time."

"I don't know, Sunny," Blackjack said uncertainly, climbing up the stairs. I lay on my side, looking directly at Blackjack.

"Don't you like it? I thought so, that's why I put on this uniform. I not only wanted to look sexy but also childish," I said to Blackjack, extending a hoof toward her.

"It's not that I don't like it, but it sounds strange. I don't know if it has anything to do with your culture, but for you to act like that... I think I would prefer you to act like a normal mare," Blackjack said, sitting near me. Her words left me feeling a bit disappointed. I guess ponies from outside must have mixed feelings about fantasies like these.

The disappointment weighs heavily because I had only focused on the positive side of being with a pony from outside. I think it might be difficult for her to understand my fantasies. Here in Nippony, youth is valued so much that it affects my sexual fantasies too. It just brings back good memories of times that will never return.

"It's alright, Blackjack-chan. Have you ever seen those vending machines where they supposedly sell used panties?" I asked, trying to prevent my disappointment from ruining the moment.

"Yeah, I've seen them, but I didn't buy anything. Are they really used?" Blackjack asked, her curiosity piqued. She directed her gaze to the left while bringing a hoof to her chin.

"I'm sorry if I disappoint you, but they are not used. They only have the appearance of being used, so ponies buy them thinking they are," I explained to Blackjack. She pressed both front hooves together, looking frustrated.

Blackjack slammed a front hoof against the bed. "Damn, that's bullshit. Lucky I didn't waste my bottle caps on that."

I couldn't help but laugh at Blackjack's feigned frustration. Despite the sexual tension in the air, she didn't abandon her dramatic side. "But if you want, you can smell my panties," I said to Blackjack, introducing another of my fantasies. I blushed deeply, never before having had the confidence to share something so intimate.

"Sniffing panties? I've never done that before, but I suppose I could give it a try... just don't tell anypony about this, Sunny," Blackjack replied, blushing as much as I was. Seeing her blush was a rare sight and made her look incredibly cute.

"What if I told Glory?" I teased with a mischievous smile.

Blackjack leaned back, raising a bent front hoof and widening her eyes in mock horror. "Celestia's sake, don't you dare. She'd probably have a field day teasing me as 'Panty Sniffer.' We've had our adventures in bondage, but that's as far as it goes."

I chuckled softly at Blackjack's dramatic reaction, feeling lighter and more relaxed than I had in a while.

Sitting down, I spread my hind hooves apart, revealing my panties—white with pink heart designs. "You can smell it if you like. I've been wearing these all day and saved them just for this moment," I said, lifting my skirt with my front hooves.

Approaching cautiously, Blackjack slipped between my open hooves and lay face-down, bringing her nose close to my panties. "It's wet," she noted, detecting the fluids I had recently secreted. Despite her own nudity and exposed vagina, the sight and smell aroused me even more.

With meticulous attention, Blackjack savored every inch of my panties as if they were a fine perfume. Her nose grazed against my moist and virgin vagina, eliciting a desire in me to masturbate, though I preferred to let Blackjack take the lead.

Losing My Virginity

Blackjack licked my used and dirty panties with fervor, as though she desired not only my body but also the essence trapped within my underwear.

Blackjack's playful exploration of my panties was thrilling. White with delicate pink hearts scattered across the fabric, a design I found irresistibly cute. I hadn't washed them since I wore them earlier in the day, wanting to preserve the natural scent of my body for this very moment. They were now moist with my arousal, the dampness clearly visible against the white backdrop, a testament to my growing excitement.

As Blackjack licked and savored them, the fabric absorbed more of my essence, blending the sweet floral scent of my arousal with the fabric's own faint perfume. Each touch of her tongue felt electric against the sensitive material, and I couldn't help but moan softly as she pressed her mouth closer, her breath warming the damp fabric.

"Blackjack-chan," I gasped, overcome with desire and the sheer intimacy of the moment, "your touch feels incredible."

She continued with her mesmerizing exploration, her hoof tracing circles around my wet panties, heightening my arousal even more. The contrast of the soft fabric against my sensitive skin, now slick with desire, intensified every sensation. I wanted to remember every detail of this experience, the feel of her exploring my panties, the warmth of her breath against my skin, and the thrill of sharing this intimate moment with her.

My hind hooves trembled involuntarily, overwhelmed by the sensation of receiving oral pleasure for the first time. I lifted my skirt higher, eager for Blackjack to continue lavishing me with affection without interruption.

Moans of pleasure escaped my lips in soft, breathy gasps. "Ohhh, Blackjack-chan, it feels so good."

With determination, Blackjack engulfed my panty-clad vagina with her mouth, demonstrating her eagerness to please me while still honoring my desire to keep my panties on.

Feeling overjoyed that Blackjack was willing to indulge another of my fetishes, I relished the intimacy of having her smell and taste my dirty panties. It made me feel cherished and desired, and sharing this with a pony I deeply cared for heightened those sensations.

Blackjack's hoof moved in slow, tantalizing circles on my manko, sending shivers of pleasure through my body. The sensation of another pony's touch was indescribably different, more intense and intimate than anything I'd ever felt while pleasuring myself.

Alternating between licking my panties and rubbing her hoof on my soaking wet pussy, Blackjack expertly balanced her attentions, driving me wild with pleasure. My moans grew louder, more uninhibited. Blackjack had said she loved my voice, and I knew my cries of ecstasy would only turn her on more.

Spreading my hooves wider, I lifted them as high as I could, giving Blackjack an enticing view. She purred with desire, "Sunny, I want to taste every part of your pussy." Her words sent a thrill through me, and she increased the speed of her hoof, pressing her mouth fully against my manko.

Blackjack's other hoof moved to pleasure herself, adding to the erotic intensity of the moment. I couldn't keep my eyes open, overwhelmed by the waves of pleasure crashing over me. The risks I was taking seemed insignificant compared to the incredible sensations I was experiencing. This kind of pleasure could only be shared with another pony, and I was grateful to be sharing it with a mare as captivating as Blackjack, even if our time together might be fleeting.

I couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt towards my fans, many of whom dream of experiencing exactly what Blackjack was doing to my body. But for me, this intimate act was reserved only for ponies with whom I shared a deep connection and unwavering trust—qualities that only Blackjack possessed.

With her, I felt liberated, free from the constraints and pressures of my idol life. She deserved to explore my youthful, sensual body and share in my love.

As Blackjack continued to lavish attention on me, her focus shifted to my tail. It cascaded down my back, just as long and lustrous as my mane, now slick with her fluids mingling with mine.

Her magic deftly removed my panties, lifting them delicately to her horn. She hung them there, the fabric swaying gently, as she indulged in the intoxicating scent while pleasuring me. The thought that she truly enjoyed my panties filled me with a deep sense of satisfaction and arousal.

Blackjack kissed my vagina and spit on it, her saliva mixing with my own fluids as her tongue explored every inch of my manko. The sensation was overwhelming, and I pressed my hooves against the bed sheet, trying to steady myself. The pleasure was almost too much to bear, but I didn't want her to stop—I wanted to continue until I couldn't take it anymore.

Though my parents strongly disapprove of me having relationships with other mares, I don't let their views hold me back. My desires are more important than outdated traditions. I can sleep with both mares and stallions if I wish, and if it's possible, I could even marry Blackjack. No matter how they might insult her or treat her poorly, I would still love her. Our society values subtlety and indirectness, but I don't care about their hidden disapproval.

Mizuki and Yuki might also have their opinions about my bisexuality, but their thoughts don't control my life. These are my choices to make, and I will not let anypony dictate whom I can love or sleep with.

At this moment, the only thing that matters is the intense pleasure I'm feeling. Blackjack was enthusiastic, her hoof expertly rubbing my clit while her tongue explored my depths. It was as if she was savoring the most delicious treat she had ever tasted, and the thought drove me wild.

"Blackjack-chan," I moaned, my voice trembling with desire. "Don't stop, please."

She didn't need any further encouragement. Her tongue delved deeper, her movements becoming more fervent. I could feel the warmth of her breath and the gentle pressure of her hoof as she continued to pleasure me. Each lick, each caress, sent waves of ecstasy through my body.

This experience, this connection with Blackjack, was unlike anything I had ever felt before. It was raw, passionate, and utterly liberating. As I teetered on the edge of orgasm, I knew that this moment would be etched in my memory forever.

This could be the only Heart and Hooves day where I am not alone, yearning for intimacy. I know the day is not solely about sex, but the loneliness often depresses me. Watching other ponies happily paired up through my window, sharing something so basic and yet so out of reach for me, has driven me to tears for hours. Yet, I can't abandon my career as an idol.

This isn't just a memorable Heart and Hooves day—it's possibly the best day of my life since my foalhood ended.

Blackjack stood on her hind hooves, then turned around and sat on my face. I realized she wanted us to do a sixty-nine.

I had never licked a vagina before. What if I did something wrong? I hoped I wouldn't disappoint Blackjack. Determined to please her, I decided to start by spitting on her manko, ensuring it was wet enough, and then proceed to lick it.

With a deep breath, I pressed my tongue to her folds, tasting her for the first time. Her unique, intoxicating flavor filled my senses, making me eager to do my best. As I tentatively began to explore her with my tongue, Blackjack continued to pleasure me, her mouth and hoof working in perfect harmony.

Every flick of her tongue, every movement of her hoof sent waves of pleasure through me. My own licks became more confident, matching her rhythm. I tried to mimic the way she moved, hoping to bring her as much pleasure as she was giving me.

Blackjack moaned softly, the vibrations of her voice adding another layer of sensation to my already overwhelmed body. Encouraged by her response, I pushed myself further, trying different strokes and pressures to see what made her react the most.

With my hooves, I caressed Blackjack's butt, not only licking her vagina but also letting my own saliva drip onto my uniform while her vaginal fluids trickled down. I kissed and licked Blackjack's cutie mark, wanting to make her cum.

I figured I was doing a good job pleasing her, given the moans escaping her lips and how she called out my name. Blackjack trembled as I ran my hoof over her vagina, moving it in circles. I was eager to taste her juices, driven by the sound of her pleasure and the way she responded to my touch.

The feeling of her shivering and moaning filled me with a mix of excitement and satisfaction. This was what I wanted, to make her feel as amazing as she was making me feel.

"Blackjack-chan, please fill my uniform with your fluids," I begged, moving my hooves with more intensity to make Blackjack cum.

Blackjack suppressed her moans by burying her entire mouth in my vagina. Her fluids flowed over my face, soaking my uniform and even my mane, which wasn't spared from the drops.

A bit of her juices landed inside my mouth, and I swallowed without hesitation. I had never considered swallowing vaginal fluids before, unsure if I would like it, but the curiosity to know the flavor didn't disappoint me at all.

Blackjack remained immersed in my vagina, but I wasn't ready to cum just yet. "Blackjack-chan, I have an idea," I said, raising her head and taking a deep breath to regain her energy. "Why don't you fuck me with the strap-on?"

Her eyes lit up with a mischievous glint, and she nodded, a smirk playing on her lips. "Alright, Sunny. Let's make this unforgettable," she said, her voice dripping with anticipation.

Blackjack stood on two hooves and effortlessly levitated the strap-on, securing it in place. Witnessing her use magic so casually only fueled my desire to have been born a unicorn instead of a useless earth pony.

Despite my mixed feelings, seeing Blackjack with a strap-on was both amusing and arousing. "Look at you, Blackjack, you're a futanari now hahahahah!" I laughed, finally lowering my hind hooves which had been raised for a while.

"Keep laughing. We'll see if you're still laughing when I fuck you so hard with my cock that you beg me to stop," Blackjack retorted, a playful smirk on her lips as she positioned herself, moving in a humorous manner that made the strap-on bob.

"Start by sucking it, bitch," Blackjack commanded. Her choice of words sent a thrill through me, igniting a sense of rebellion. Yes, I was being naughty, and that realization only made me want to explore more.

I didn't care about societal norms or what others might think—especially not my parents or band friends. Right now, I wanted Blackjack to keep calling me a bitch, because in this moment, that's exactly what I was—a very, very bad girl.

Blackjack sat down, and I eagerly approached her to suck her cock.

In a surprising move, Blackjack used a hoof to grip the back of my neck, pushing my head down, forcing me to take her cock into my mouth. Even though it wasn’t real, neither of us cared. I had always wanted to have one in my mouth, especially from a stallion from outside our land. I couldn't bear the thought of being with a traditional stallion from here—unless they were open-minded like me. The traditional life was hell for me.

With both hooves, I stroked the cock, moving them up and down in a steady rhythm. I closed my eyes, focusing solely on the sensation of the penis in my mouth. It was long, but I managed to take it all in, savoring the feeling.

Blackjack's excitement was evident as she sat with her mouth open, her tongue hanging out, letting saliva drip onto my mane. The sight of her turned on like this only made me more eager, and I intensified my efforts, sucking and stroking with more fervor, wanting to please her completely.

While I was immersed in sucking Blackjack's cock, I suddenly felt something pressing into my anus. I opened my eyes for a moment and saw Blackjack's mischievous expression. She had used her magic to insert the butt plug while I was busy.

The sensation was intense and thrilling, like I was being penetrated from behind while sucking her cock. Although the thought of a threesome with Blackjack excited me, this was more than enough for now.

The butt plug inside me made me feel relaxed and calm, yet incredibly excited. I hadn't used it in a while, and now, without feeling watched and knowing it was impossible for my fans to have followed us here, I felt free to indulge completely. Kutabare fans! My true thoughts about them came to light, but if they weren't so creepy, I wouldn't think that way. Especially those who know where I live and take photos of me without my realizing it.

I refocused on the task at hoof, intensifying my sucking and stroking. The combined sensations from my mouth and anus created a delicious mix of pleasure, making me moan softly around the cock in my mouth. Blackjack's pleasure was evident, her moans and the sight of her tongue hanging out driving me wild.

Blackjack took the cock out of my mouth and began to masturbate it quickly, using one hoof. I closed my eyes as water, imitating sperm, flowed from the tip. Even though it was just water, the illusion turned me on immensely. In my mind, it was real, and Blackjack was spreading her essence all over my face, mane, and seifuku.

Using her magic, Blackjack spun me around to expose my butt. Standing on two hooves, she positioned herself behind me and lifted my skirt with her front hooves, eager to get a better view.

"Get ready, bitch, I won't be gentle at all," she growled, inserting her entire cock into my vagina.

It was the first time a pony had climbed on top of me, and the sensation was beyond what I had imagined. The feeling of being penetrated was incredible. Blackjack was fucking me wildly, her thrusts deep and powerful. Confident that we were isolated and with the windows closed, I didn't hold back my screams of pleasure. The intensity of the experience, despite a twinge of pain, made me want to continue.

Every thrust sent waves of pleasure through my body. Blackjack's cock filled me completely, hitting all the right spots. My seifuku clung to my body, wet with the simulated sperm and my own sweat. The sensation of her rough, determined movements, combined with the lingering buzz from the butt plug, made my mind swim with ecstasy.

"More, Blackjack-chan, don't stop!" I moaned, pushing back against her thrusts. My entire body was on fire, driven by the primal urge to feel everything she could give me. This moment, this wild, unrestrained sex, was everything I had craved.

Blackjack leaned forward, biting my ears, causing me to shiver and grip the bed sheets tightly. The sensation of her teeth on my sensitive ears sent electric shocks through my body, heightening my arousal.

She alternated between thrusting her entire cock deep inside me and holding it there, filling me completely. Each movement made me even hornier than I already was, the intense pleasure building rapidly. I wanted to hold off my climax a little longer, to savor every moment.

It was difficult because Blackjack not only bit my ears, but she also licked and kissed them. These intimate displays of affection, things I had never experienced before, made my arousal skyrocket. Her tongue traced the contours of my ears, her warm breath sending shivers down my spine. Each gentle kiss and teasing lick made it harder to resist the overwhelming urge to cum.

Every inch of me was alive with sensation, my mind a haze of pleasure. The way Blackjack took control, her dominant presence, made me feel more desired than ever before. My breathing grew ragged, my moans louder, as I clung to the bed sheets.

Blackjack pulled out her cock and lay down, signaling she wanted to do the cowgirl position. I eagerly turned around, took a few steps toward her, and slid her cock into my wet manko. With one hoof, I lifted my skirt so Blackjack could see everything.

As I began to move, Blackjack caressed my ass, sometimes grabbing my long tail tightly. I rotated my hips in circles, my mouth open, letting saliva fall not only on my seifuku but also on Blackjack. The combination of her touch and the deep penetration made me moan with pleasure.

I wished we could do this more often. I knew it would be a long time before I had sex with Blackjack again, and that made me want to resist my urge to cum. But the intensity of my arousal made it hard to hold back. Each caress, each touch of my private parts heightened my desire. This was the love I had longed for—real, genuine, not superficial.

Despite my efforts, I knew I couldn't hold back much longer. I wanted to finish in the most exciting way possible. I lay down on Blackjack and kissed her passionately. Our lips met in a fervent embrace, our tongues intertwining. Sometimes we alternated between kissing, licking, and deep tongue kisses, sharing our saliva with each other.

The combined sensations—our intimate connection, the feel of her cock inside me, and the passion in our kisses—were overwhelming. Blackjack's touch sent waves of pleasure through me, making it impossible to hold back any longer. My body trembled with the impending release, and I knew I was about to cum.

With a final thrust, I let go, my fluids gushing out as I moaned loudly in ecstasy. The culmination of our passion, the shared intimacy, and the raw pleasure left me breathless and satisfied.

I came inside, filling Blackjack's cock completely with my fluids. Both of us sighed with pleasure, basking in the intensity of the night. I wanted to continue, but suddenly I began to feel tired, as if I had exercised for a long time.

I lay down on one side next to Blackjack. She took off the strap-on and put it in her mouth, sucking the cock and licking it, savoring my fluids.

"Oh Blackjack-chan, that was great. I would like to continue, but I feel tired," I said, yawning.

Blackjack continued sucking the strap-on, then took it out of her mouth. "Yeah, sometimes that happens."

Seeing Blackjack with my panties still hanging from her horn gave me an idea. "Why don't you keep my panties? You can smell them to feel my scent when you miss me, since we won't see each other for a long time." I carefully took out the butt plug.

"Do you really want me to keep them?" Blackjack asked, taking my panties with one hoof and looking at them.

"Yes, consider it a way to remember this moment. I want you to keep them so you never forget me," I said, fighting the tiredness.

"Alright, I'll keep them," Blackjack said, stroking my mane. "I love you, Sunny. I'll visit you again when I have the chance. I'd be lying if I said it would be very soon. I'm not sure when, but I'll be back."

"It's okay, Blackjack-chan. I love you so much. Thank you for making this moment unforgettable." My eyes were closing on their own, but I tried to keep them open.

Blackjack kissed me on the forehead. "You better rest, Sunny. Tomorrow, at least, we’ll have the opportunity to be together until noon."

I nodded, no longer able to fight the urge to stay awake. Hearing Blackjack's comforting words, I closed my eyes and smiled. I had so much fun tonight. Although these moments don’t happen often, I’ll always keep them saved in the chest of memories forever.

I was sure my career would continue as before, without anypony realizing I had sex, especially with a mare.

I was about to enter the world of dreams. Here I come...

Author's Note

The Idols songs were written by Andy Hunter, you are free to use my lyrics in other media.

Azuka The Freakshow by Andy Hunter: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/559821/fallout-equestria-azuka-the-freakshow

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