Fallout Equestria: Mona Lisa Overdrive

I'm Blackjack... Fuck! My head hurts, I hate this part of being drunk, when the effect wears off and you feel like your head is going to explode.

I opened my eyes slowly and my vision was blurry... I felt a salty sensation in my mouth as well as alcohol, how strange... I only remember drinking alcohol, but nothing else.

I ran both hooves over my eyes to clear my vision, I looked at the front of the room, everything was normal.

I looked in several directions until I found Candy, she was fast asleep on the floor and there was a yellowish liquid on her and on the floor, what the hell was that?

I sniffed Candy and what she had and was on the floor was.... urine. What the fuck happened? Trying to remember it only makes my head hurt, I guess Candy must have an answer for this.

Also my coat felt wet, don't tell me... Holy shit, what the fuck did I do when I was drunk? Have I gotten into a strange sexual situation without realizing it?

I hope nopony else saw this...damn, it was just what was missing, my living room smells horrible and I need to clean it.

"Candy, Candy," I nudged Candy with my hooves, but she was snoring softly, completely out cold. I needed to know what happened last night..

"Candy, please wake up." But she didn't even flinch, and my head was still burning.

I'm very confused. I want to know how all this happened. We were drunk, yes, but after leaving the bar, what happened?

Did I orchestrate an orgy of urophilia while drunk? I don't think so. Maybe I'll get involved in orgies, but with urine included? I highly doubt it... I have my limits.

I'm feeling all kinds of messed up about this, tangled up in some taboo shit...

Got to get Candy to swear on her life that she'll keep this under wraps, ain't nopony gotta know about this, especially not Glory... whatever the hell Candy and I got up to.

But who am I kidding? I'm just fooling myself again... Even though the evidence is right there, I'm still trying to deny it, ya know? Chances are, I knocked back some urine like it was top-shelf whiskey. This stays between me and Candy, nopony else.

And now I'm wondering, was it me who suggested this freaky stuff, and Candy just went along with it? Or was she the one who put the idea in my head? Problem is, no matter how hard I wrack my brain, I can't remember a damn thing.

I ain't gonna jump to conclusions 'til Candy spills the beans, no point gettin' all worked up over maybes and what-ifs, right? Best keep my head clear of any false ideas.

Soon as Candy's up, I'm gonna ask her to stick around for a bit, least she can do is join me for a scrub in the tub, ain't no way she's hittin' the streets reeking of piss. Gonna do whatever it takes to keep her with me... ain't no way I wanna be alone again.

I want Candy with me always, love her to bits even though we only met for a day. She said I'm worth somethin', so I want her to prove it by stayin' by my side forever.

Candy lay there, not movin' a muscle, just snorin' away softly. I eased myself on top of her, her lyin' on her back, and I wrapped my hooves 'round her.

In that moment, I didn't give a fuck that we were soaked in urine. What mattered was havin' Candy there, the only pony who could yank me outta this never-endin' pit of loneliness I've been stuck in for so long.

"Stay with me forever," I whispered, even though Candy was out cold. Doubt she heard me, but it felt right sayin' it.

I slipped one of my front hooves around one of Candy's ponytails and started playin' with 'em, loopin' 'em around my hoof. I love her mane style, y'know? It makes her look cute and sexy at the same time.

Did that a few times... Heh, made me crack a smile, just teasin' her while she's off in dreamland.

I hope you're dreamin' about me, Candy... Dreamin' about the day we tie the knot.

Wonder when you'll wake up, Candy. I want you to kiss me and tell me I ain't alone no more, that you got me.

"I love you, Candy. Please don't leave me," I whispered as I planted a kiss on Candy's forehead. My feelings for her are stronger than anythin' in the world.

Sometimes I wonder if it's my loneliness that's got me actin' this way. I never showed myself so vulnerable before, but it ain't worth hidin' it no more. I need love and understanding.

I hope my nymphomania ain't gonna be a problem for our future together. I... I been wantin' Candy to be my marefriend, but I reckon she'll need some time to mull it over. She ain't as desperate as me.

"I love you too, Blackjack," Candy whispered back, right close to my ear while I was huggin' her. Caught me off guard, I shot up quick.

I blushed somethin' fierce. Was she listenin' the whole time? I thought she was asleep!

"Wow, Blackjack, I didn't think your feelings for me were zo ztrong," Candy said, smilin' as she ran her hooves over her eyes, tryin' to clear her vision.

"I... I was just... I was just teasin' you. I'm not that desperate for love, I swear!" I stammered, but my blush gave me away. I didn't wanna look like some desperate loser, but I couldn't have made it more obvious if I tried.

Candy put a front hoof to her mouth, laughin' and turnin' her head a little to the left as she looked at me. "Es ist okay. You don't have to be ashamed of zat. I have feelings for you too, but I think it would be better if we at least went out once, go on ein date. Would you like that?"

When Candy asked that, I almost jumped for joy, like when your parents buy you a new toy. But I kept my composure, still tryin' to get used to actin' this way. It's been a while since I felt somethin' like this. "Of course I'd love to," I said, smilin'.

"großartig! It could be next week. I'll contact you," Candy said, movin' her head forward and lookin' me directly in the eyes.

"Can't it be today?" I asked Candy. I really had nothin' to do today. My life had become borin', and spendin' time with her would really bring some excitement to my days.

"I'm zorry, Blackjack, I can't. I have things to do," Candy said, lowerin' the tone of her voice. She noticed my depressed face. She really didn't wanna refuse, but I guess she had more important things to do than be with me.

"But can you at least stay for a while? I don't think you wanna go out like that. Do ya wanna get in the tub with me?" I asked Candy. My voice wanted to crack, but I tried not to let that happen. Though I couldn't be more obvious, I still tried to keep my facade strong.

"Natürlich, I wouldn't dare go out on the street stinking of urine," Candy laughed, her laugh was contagious, and her voice... it made my heart beat very fast.

I stayed lookin' at her for a while. Now that I'm sober, I feel like I can appreciate Candy much more. Her beautiful face, her beautiful eyes... she was like an angel to me. I could stay like that for a long time. I wanted to continue playin' with her ponytails.

"Huh, Blackjack, I can't get up if you're on top of me," Candy said, still maintainin' her warm smile. I was lost in my thoughts. I got up and moved to the side.

"I'm sorry, Candy. I don't know what's happenin' to me," I said, puttin' a hoof to my head. Could I be goin' crazy? Is it love? Is loneliness makin' me act this way?

I feel like... I feel like I'm becomin' a little, yeah, I would say a little obsessive with her.

"Are you okay? Do you think it's the headache?" Candy asked as she got up from the ground and positioned herself next to me with just two steps forward.

"No... The headache's goin' away. It's about my feelings. They're... very confusin'. I mean, I love you a lot, you know that, don't you? But about my current behavior, what do you think about it?" I asked Candy. Did I feel the need for her opinion on my recent, obsessive behavior? Was I aware of it? Should I fight to hide it and resolve it on my own? I was tryin' not to be too direct.

"Well, you've told me that you've been alone for a long time, and being with me gives you relief from that... but I haven't noticed anything unusual," Candy said with understanding, placin' a hoof on my back.

"I'll be honest with you, Candy. Do you think I've become, you know, a little obsessed with you?" I asked, lowerin' my head slightly and contemplatin' our mess on the floor from the night before.

Candy let out a surprised sigh and leaned back a little. "Now that you mention it, the tone of your voice... your constant questions, I could tell some desperation when I said I couldn't go out with you today." As I supposed, now the damn obsession, added to my nymphomania... now I don't know if all this added together is my sentence to be alone forever.

"I don't know what's happenin' to me, Candy... I don't wanna make you uncomfortable. I just wanna not be... forgotten," I said, a few centimeters away from startin' to cry.

Candy stood in front of me and lifted my face, placin' her hooves on my cheeks. "Listen to me, Blackjack. It's just you and me here. Nopony is gonna make fun of you. It's okay to express your emotions, Blackjack. Forget about trying to be cool and badass. It's okay that you feel that way. I will do my best to help you... But you must also understand that I can't be with you all the time. There will be some day for me to move into your mansion, ja... if that's how you want it to be."

"I think... you're right. It's just that my loneliness has been slowly killin' me. I only have my mom, Glory, and you left. Without you, I have nothin'. My heart is broken, my ego trampled, my self-esteem withered," I heeded Candy's words and let the tears escape from my red eyes.

"That's gonna change. You have to have a little hope that one day, everything will be fixed. You're not alone, Blackjack. Not anymore. I'll be by your side. I love you too, but I want... time. I want this to work, because I would hate for the day to come when we separate, and all because we made the mistake of going too fast," Candy got very close to me, our noses touchin' each other gently.

"It's just that it's difficult not to feel a little bit disappointed and passed over. I know I complain a lot... but I need to express it somehow," I told Candy, passing a hoof over my eyes.

"Ich verstehe. You've been through a lot, that's why I'm here. If you need somepony to listen to you, you have me. I wouldn't like to see you suffering," Candy said, stroking my mane to help me feel better.

And it really worked. A little love was more than enough to make me fall in love with somepony? Have I reached these levels?

I don't know what to believe anymore...

I have imaginary arguments with myself. The little angel in my mind telling me what to do, please come back another day. I don't want to hear your opinion on this matter. I will find a way to change and be a better pony on my own.

My levels of despair had become so high that each time Candy said she loved me, it filled me with an indescribable happiness. I wished she would tell me that over and over again. It had been a while since I heard those words directed towards me from anypony other than my mother.

"I... I love you so much, Candy. I'm glad you came into my life to make it better," I said, expressing myself openly, hoping she would respond with something nice.

Candy blushed and pressed her cheeks against mine, moving them slowly and gently. "I love you too, Blackjack. I'm glad to be the light in your life."

I wanted to kiss her, but I wasn't sure. With my recent obsession, I didn't want to overwhelm her with too many displays of affection. Though I really needed them, I knew I shouldn't exaggerate.

Sometimes I feel like I don't recognize myself. Me, obsessive? I've been through a lot in my life, but becoming obsessive... that would be the last thing I'd expect. Fucking loneliness, I hate you. You've made me crazy for love.

But even so, I’ll do what I can not to become somepony disturbing. I need to take things calmly. Candy can sleep with as many ponies as she wants; what I wish is that she doesn't leave me. That one day she won't just disappear and I'll never see her again.

If that happens, I don't know what I'll do. Maybe shoot myself... I don't know. Every time I make a connection, I lose it eventually. It's a cycle that keeps repeating over and over again.

Can I last several days alone? I feel like this is a test I have to overcome. But for now, I'll take advantage of every second Candy is here with me. Just talking and hearing her voice of hope should be enough to make me feel better.

"I think we should clean my living room first. I can't stand this smell anymore," I said. Despite trying to ignore it, my living room was already reeking, and I needed to take care of it first.

"Oh, right, it was ein crazy night," Candy said as she separated from me and took several steps forward. She looked in various directions, clearly unsure where to go. Anypony who entered my mansion could easily get lost. "Where do you keep the Mopps?" Candy asked as she trotted further down the hallway.

"The last door on the left, that's where I keep my cleaning products," I told her, raising my voice a bit so she could hear me. She was getting pretty far. "Also, bring the bottle with the pink liquid—that's the disinfectant," I added, unsure if she could read Equestrian.

Candy opened the door and used her magic to bring a mop and the disinfectant back to where I was. As she returned, I decided to clear up something that had been bugging me. "Candy, can you tell me what happened last night? And why are we covered in urine? We had sex, but I don't remember the rest. I don't remember agreeing to be part of something like this."

Candy stopped and put a hoof over her mouth, covering half of it. "The little I remember is that I asked you to drink your urine while we were having oral zex. It made you want to pee, and I wanted to drink it. Then I peed on you... I feel very embarrassed, Blackjack," Candy said, looking to the side.

So, that's what happened... we were so drunk we didn't know what we were doing. I couldn't blame her for this.

"Don't worry, Candy, we were extremely drunk. It's difficult to reason in that state," I said with understanding. I didn’t even know what I was doing, so I couldn’t blame her for getting involved in this.

"I hadn't told you because I feel like it's a side of me that I should hide, you know? Let's say that urophilia is not very welcome in Gesellschaft," Candy said as she hoofnded me the disinfectant. I took it with my magic.

"I understand. What I don't know is whether to tell you if I enjoyed it or not. It's difficult to say," I replied, raising a hoof to my head. I rubbed my forehead, then put my hoof back on the ground and directed my gaze to the right.

"Take your time. If you don't like it, that's fine. I will still love you. What I don't want is for you to force yourself. We can still enjoy zex without involving urine," Candy said, slowly trotting towards me.

"I know what you mean. With this growing obsession, I think I could make hasty decisions without thinking clearly... But could you please not say any of this to my mother? I don't want to give her a heart attack, and not to Glory either," I asked Candy, wanting to make sure she wouldn't say anything if she ever ran into the two of them.

Candy nodded, giving me a reassuring smile. "Natürlich, Blackjack. Your secrets are safe with me. I won't tell anypony, especially not your mother or Glory."

With the disinfectant, I began to spread it around the floor, improving the smell of my living room a little. "Thank you, Candy. I still have my doubts, but we'll solve that later." Even though Candy had already told me, I don't know why I'm still thinking about it. Maybe my intense love for her is affecting me in some way.

Candy passed the mop across the floor using her magic. It seemed that even the liquid had gone under the sofa. I used my magic to lift it up so Candy could clean it without much effort.

"Uh, Candy, I have another question. When we finish bathing in the tub, do you think you can stay for a while, please?" I asked. I wouldn't see her until next week, and during all that time, what could I do?

"I would like to stay, believe me, but I have other things to do. I have to go back to Stuteland, to stay at my parents' house. It will only be for a few days," Candy said while mopping the floor.

"But could you at least answer my messages and calls when I need to hear your sweet voice?" I trotted a few steps forward to where Candy was.

"It's a fourteen-hour trip. When I make stops to rest, I could take that time to talk to you. But don't despair, okay? If I don't answer, it's because I'll be busy driving," Candy said. I was a little surprised by the number of hours, and I wondered what it must be like to drive from here to Maremany. Fuck... there are too many days without Candy.

"Ok..." was the only thing I answered. I wondered what I could do during all this time without Candy. What activities could I enjoy by myself, besides drinking alcohol, watching TV, and eating ice cream while crying?

I guess I could go outside to find out, but the world likes to remind me how lonely I am. That’s why I don’t like leaving my mansion so much, condemning myself to seeing the same walls twenty-four hours a day.

I hate waiting for that to change, but I guess it will be worth it.

"Well, Blackjack, I halready cleaned the living room. Ein warm bath wouldn't hurt, you know? It's ein little cold in here." Candy said while hugging herself and leaving the mop on the floor.

"Oh yeah, it's the air conditioning. I always leave it on; I like the cold environment..." I placed the sofa back on the floor and left the disinfectant on a table.

"It's ein very big place too, like those haunted manzions in the movies," Candy said, smiling as she trotted forward.

"Yeah, I asked for it to have a gothic design. I guess you already know that I like that aesthetic." I trotted forward to where Candy was, raised my hoof, and waved it to indicate for Candy to follow me.

"Ich mag das. When I move here, I think I'll need a map, hahaha," Candy said, laughing as she went up the stairs to the second floor.

"I guess you've never been to a mansion before?" I looked back for a few seconds as I spoke to Candy.

"Nein, in Arhwailer, where I used to live, it was an extremely small haus. As soon as you opened the door, you’d already toured the entire haus," Candy said with an animated tone in her voice. I shared her joy, wanting to take advantage of it now that she was with me, even if only temporarily.

"I thought you were from Barlin. As far as I know, the capital was bombed, and the living conditions there are horrible. There are almost no habitable places because of the radiation," I said as I opened the bathroom door.

"That's true, but one day I thought that Arhwailer was just a place to visit, not to live in forever. I like urbanized places better, that's why I decided to move hier. Before, I had considered Japany, but with that strange language they have, I said, Auf gar keinen Fall! It means, 'there's no way' I can learn that. It would take years to master it," Candy said as she entered the bathroom and put her hooves on the tub.

"And the writing system... goddesses, I have no idea what any of it means. I had been there a couple of times, and not many speak Equestrian. I remember there was a student who offered to help me with the translations; they were very kind to me. Now I see why they say that Japany is the closest thing to ancient Equestria." I turned on the faucet of the tub with my magic, and the water slowly filled the tub. Candy seemed excited to get into the warm water.

"That's incredible, and how was it there?" Candy said, turning her gaze towards me.

"Wonderful. The food was delicious, plus I met an idol, her name is Sunny Aozora. She sings very well; we were good friends, but I lost contact with her. I don't know what happened to her," I said as I trotted towards Candy. The tub had filled completely with water, and I turned off the tap. We both got into the water.

I sat on the left side, relaxing, and Candy settled on the other side. It was a brief moment of peace, but what I had said about Sunny seemed to worry Candy a bit.

"And what do you think happened to Sunny?" Candy asked, her tone shifting slightly.

"Don't worry, Candy, she's an idol. She must be very busy. She had told me how complicated it is to be an idol, and I don't blame her," I said, resting my hooves on the edge of the tub.

"I've never met an idol in my Leben. What did she tell you?" Candy asked, pouring water over her face with her hooves.

"She told me that she was doing very well, gaining a lot of fame in Tokyolt with her latest events. But when it comes to dating or sex, idols are very limited in that aspect of their lives. It's really sad," I said, pouring water over my mane. My mane lost its shape, and my bangs now covered both my eyes. "Sunny and I had sex, but it wasn't simple. We had to go to Mount Iwadona and did it inside a van, making sure no paparazzi were following us. Luckily, that wasn't the case, and we had a good time together. She told me that it was the only sexual experience she had in her life and that she would like to repeat it, but she's afraid of ruining her career."

"So, your Freundschaft with her had to be hidden?" Candy asked, lying down in the bathtub, only her head visible.

"Yeah, only the private part had to be hidden. When we were together, we avoided physical contact like kisses or hugs. We didn't even shake each other's hooves. Idol fans tend to be creepy, but that's what keeps food on the table," I said, pointing a wet hoof at her.

"I hope Sunny is doing well. If she hasn't retired, I guess that's all she has to live on," Candy said, sometimes putting her mouth in the water to create bubbles.

"True, but I'm sure she's okay." I placed my hoof on my face and raised my mane, which was covering both of my eyes—one of the disadvantages of having such a long mane.

Candy nodded and submerged completely in the water, face down, bringing both front hooves together. Was she playing? It made her even more endearing. I'm glad she has a playful side; it brings a little joy. The last thing I need is a partner who's grumpy and spreads bad vibes—I've had enough of that.

As Candy breathed through her mouth, bubbles popped, followed by her breathing. Was she playing a game to see how long she could last underwater?

Most likely. Plus, the way she submerged made her ponytails look like they were floating in the water. I couldn't help but laugh, needing to put a hoof to my lips to stifle it.

I got closer to Candy and started teasing her with her ponytails, giving them little touches and rolling them around my hooves. Candy tried to ignore me, knowing how much I liked her mane and playing with it.

She seemed determined to stay underwater, but we'll see for how long.

I sat on Candy's back, using her as a makeshift seat. "How comfy is this, huh?" I said sarcastically, holding back my laughter.

Candy seemed to respond, but I only heard bubbles bursting—unfortunately, I don't speak that language, hehe.

Teasing Candy and spending time with her was just what I needed. It's been so long since I felt alive, appreciated, loved. Maybe more than five years.

Playing with Candy's mane, it seemed she couldn't hold her breath any longer, bubbles bursting continuously until Candy raised her head and let out a stream of air from her mouth.

"Next time, Blackjack, I'll do the same with your bangs and see if you like it," Candy said, her gaze directed towards me, pretending to be annoyed, playing along.

"I'd like to see you try," I replied mischievously.

Candy laughed at my comment. "Hahaha, I see you really like my ponytails. With my old hairstyle when I was sixteen, you probably wouldn't have stopped telling me how boring it was. In fact, you probably wouldn't even have noticed it."

"What did it look like?" I asked.

"You'll have to see it. The photo's in my car. I'll show you on our date," Candy said. What a letdown. I really wanted to see that photo of young Candy.

"I don't want to keep you waiting, but I'd have to get out of the tub, go downstairs, get to my car, and come back hier. I can't waste too much time, Blackjack," Candy said, understanding. Though the disappointment lingered, I suppose it'll be worth the wait. I think all I'll do this week is sleep. Maybe that way, time will pass faster.

"Will you be okay, Blackjack? I don’t want you to be sad while I’m gone. You can be with other ponies, even sleep with them if you need to. I just don’t want you suffering from loneliness," Candy said, worry clear in her voice.

"It’s hard to say, Candy... but I think I’ll be fine."

"Why don’t you visit your mother? Some time between Mutter und Tochter never hurts," Candy suggested. Maybe I could visit Gin Rummy; it’s been a while. But I don’t want her to think I only visit when I have problems. This wouldn’t be the first time, and I don’t want her to feel used by her own daughter. That would make everything worse.

"Maybe I will."

"That didn’t sound very convincing... If you don’t want to see her, that’s fine. I just want... you know, offering suggestions is all I can do," Candy said, raising a bent hoof. I was still on her back, lying on the edge of the tub.

"And I appreciate it, seriously. I’ll take it into account. I’ll see how I explain everything to her." Visiting my mom could be a good option. Maybe her love will help me hold on until my date with Candy.

That's all the support I'll have during these days. Glory probably won’t want to see me until she has the target I need to kill.

Reality is so cruel... if only there was a way to escape it, even momentarily. Maybe drugs would help?

"It’s okay, Blackjack. I will do everything I can to keep in touch with you. You have my full support," Candy said, leaning her head forward, looking at me like she wanted to tell me something up close but couldn’t.

"I was going to kiss you, but since you’re using me as a seat, I changed my mind," Candy said teasingly, her voice mischievous as she tried to stifle a laugh.

"What?!" I got up from Candy's back. "Give me a kiss! Do you know how long I won’t get another kiss from you?"

Candy leaned in slowly, her lips hovering just inches from mine. The warmth of her breath brushed against my face, sending a shiver down my spine. With a gentle touch, she closed the gap between us, her lips meeting mine in a tender embrace.

As our lips met, I felt a surge of relief wash over me. It was as if all the worries and doubts that had been weighing me down were lifted in that single moment. Candy's kiss was soft and sweet, like a gentle breeze on a warm summer day.

I wrapped my hooves around her, pulling her closer as if I never wanted to let her go. Her touch was like magic, soothing the turmoil within me and filling me with a sense of peace I hadn't felt in a long time.

In that moment, there was only Candy and me, lost in each other's embrace. It was a brief respite from the chaos of the world outside, a moment of pure bliss that I wished would never end.

But even as our kiss lingered, I knew that eventually, we would have to part. Yet for now, all that mattered was the warmth of Candy's lips against mine, and the overwhelming sense of comfort and belonging that filled my heart.

"I love you, Blackjack. I can't wait to see you again." Those were the last words I heard from Candy.

Can I endure all these days without her? I dunno. Sometimes it feels like a challenge that destiny's placed on me, testing how far I'm able to go. Why do good things always last so short? I’ll never know.

I think I can do it... I can do it... I just gotta fight.

The days stretched on like an endless desert. Each hour felt like a grain of sand slipping through the hourglass of time. I tried to keep myself busy, but the mansion seemed to echo with my loneliness, mocking me with its empty halls.

I wandered from room to room, restless and uneasy. Memories of Candy lingered in every corner, taunting me with her absence. I missed her warmth, her laughter, her touch. It felt like a part of me was missing, and no amount of distraction could fill the void.

I tried to focus on other things, throwing myself into tasks and projects around the mansion. But no matter how busy I kept myself, the ache in my chest remained, a constant reminder of her absence.

I found myself counting down the days until our date, clinging to the hope that soon I would see her again. It was the only thing that kept me going, the thought of her smile, her voice, her presence beside me.

But until then, I would have to soldier on, fighting through the loneliness one day at a time. It was a battle I wasn't sure I could win, but I refused to give up. For Candy, for myself, for the hope of something more.

I headed towards my room, my bed, so big for a pony as small and insignificant as me. I forgot the last time I shared that bed with Glory, a long time ago, days that I doubt that I don't think they will return.

Although Candy has told me that I can sleep with the ponies I want... still... sometimes I want something more than a sexual encounter. I want it to be deeper... to have meaning, not just pleasure.

Sex is only a temporary relief because the wound I have is so big and difficult to heal. That my favorite activity is not always the solution for everything.

I have not had the courage to go out on the street. I have masturbated more than four times, thinking about Candy's flank. No matter how hard I try, I cannot find permanent solutions. They only last a couple of hours, days, but not forever like I wish.

The walls of my room, painted with a design of cards with my face on them, in the corners had the letter "B" and below the word "Security." It was a vision of my successful self that contrasted strongly with reality. Sometimes I wanted to throw a sphere of energy with my magic and burst that fucking wall, to forget it completely.

I decided to take my eyes off the walls for a few moments and focused on the nightstand on the right side of the bed. Not only was there a lamp, but also a photo of my mother and me when I was six years old. I took the photo with my magic and started looking at it. I wished I could go back to those times. I wished I could learn a spell, something to travel in time, anything... to fix what I broke. Mother, I love you so much, and I really appreciate everything you've done for me. I never forget your stories about when we escaped from Stable 99 together. I love you, Mom. You are the strongest mare I know. I wish I could tell you this more often, but I'm sure you don't want to hear about my problems all the time. I know you have a busy life, and your relationship with Dawn has changed since I broke up with Morning Glory. I'm sorry... it was all my fault. That's why sometimes I don't feel able to look you in the eyes. You might wish that I had never been born, and I could understand it... everything I touch, I destroy.

Even though there was nopony in my mansion as usual, I resisted my urge to cry. I felt like I was going crazy, with so many accumulated problems I couldn't handle them all at once.

This caused an overwhelming headache. I put a hoof to my forehead; it burned like hell. Maybe it was too much stress, sadness, anger, negative feelings generating a sphere inside my mind, affecting my ability to reason clearly.

I think my... obsession is getting stronger. I want... to see Candy! I sat on my bed and hit the quilt with all my might.

There were only two days left. Only... two days to see her again and feel her. I had even already dressed up for our date. I did my makeup to look sexy, just for Candy. My love for her is so intense, more than anything else in the world...

I know that like this, she will want to touch me even more. I want her to lick my vagina until I can't take it anymore. I want to feel her tongue moving around my parts, tasting every inch of me. It wouldn't be the same if I did it with a prostitute. It wouldn't feel the same.

I need you, Candy. I want to have sex with you every day. I moved my mouth, but I didn't want to sound crazy talking to myself. I don't have anypony to listen to me, as usual. I only made vague sounds as if I were trying to pronounce the beginning of a sentence.

With trembling hooves, I moved on my bed towards the mirror, placing one hoof, one by one, on the sheet full of tears. It was as if I were sailing through the sea of my own anguish. I saw my reflection in the mirror and saw how fucked up I was.

My face was exhausted and sweaty. It looked like I had run all over Great Ponytain, but the only thing I've done is masturbate, thinking about Candy and having fantasies about my mother...

Sometimes I feel like I don't recognize myself when I look in the mirror. Who is that pony with the black and red mane, white coat, wearing dark clothing?

Am I Blackjack? Is that me? A loser... desperate for love? Is this what I've become? For many, I'm not even an actress. It's as if I were invisible. Nopony can see me.

In this world, I only have three ponies... only three. And those three are the only reason I haven't blown my brains out with a shotgun shell yet.

But Candy, I'm attractive to you, right? Look at me...

I placed one hind hoof off the bed and slowly lowered the other to head towards the mirror, sit, and fantasize. It's the only thing I have left.

My interior needed satisfaction, altering reality at least for a few seconds. My reflection now changed to that of Candy, who wanted a kiss from me.

I slowly approached the mirror, stood on two hooves, closed my eyes, and pretended to kiss Candy passionately, replicating the night we met and gave each other love.

In reality, I was kissing a piece of glass, but I didn't care. I don't care what you think of me. What else do I have left to lose? I only have an almost empty life, which doesn't have much importance except for only three souls.

I tilted my head back and slowly opened my eyes. The reflection was me again. The mark of my kiss with black makeup in the center was visible from my position.

I looked momentarily at the ground, and without realizing it, a tear had fallen to the ground. It wasn't sweat; I was completely sure it was a tear that escaped. I was so lost that I didn't realize it.

At least nopony is seeing me, nopony is listening to me, in this moment of vulnerability. This is... the only advantage of loneliness.

As I moved my gaze back to the front, I noticed something strange in the mirror. It moved as if it were liquid, like when you throw a stone into water.

I don't know what that meant. I don't remember getting high, and I don't know if I'm starting to hallucinate.

I got a little closer and ran both front hooves over my eyes, trying to figure out if what I was seeing was real...

As I approached, the mirror moved with more intensity, like splashing water. It was as if it reacted to my presence. "What the fuck?" I muttered, my confusion intensifying with every millisecond.

I looked around, but it didn’t seem like somepony was doing magic to mess with my mirror or play a prank on me. Who would play a prank like that on somepony like me?

I backed away from the mirror, trying to process what the hell was happening. This wasn’t normal. I hadn’t drunk alcohol or taken drugs in days.

"What the fuck do you want from me? I haven't done anything!" I screamed at the mirror. A drop of saliva escaped from my mouth out of desperation. I was sure that something, some entity, must be behind all of this. This wasn’t a hallucination.

The mirror moved intensely, causing all the furniture in the room to shift and spin in circles.

"I'm a fucking nopony! I have nothing! Why are you doing this to me?!" I cried out, already overwhelmed by the shit in my life. Now, to add an entity messing with me?

A portal opened in the mirror, sucking me in. I tried to grab something with a hoof, but it was useless. "Noooooooooo!" I screamed before disappearing into the blackness.

I instinctively closed my eyes, fearing that being dragged would tear them out with some piece of glass from the mirror.

There was no pain, no sensation of being torn apart, but I wasn't in Great Ponytain anymore... I was in a fucking blank space.

No sky, no earth, nothing to guide me... just emptiness. But my brain interpreted that I was falling, or at least I thought so... I'm confused.

"Celestia Damnit! What's going on?!" I shouted uselessly into the void. No pony was listening to me. It was obvious that I was completely alone in wherever this place was.

Suddenly, I felt a strange sensation, as if my bones, my insides, were getting smaller and smaller. It was excruciating. I felt my bones breaking, shifting, as if they were forming a new shape.

The pain was unbearable. It felt like every bone in my body was being crushed, twisted, reshaped. I screamed until my throat was raw, until there was no more breath left in my lungs.

But then, as suddenly as it had begun, the pain stopped. I gasped for air, tears streaming down my face. I dared to open my eyes, and what I saw made my heart skip a beat.

I was no longer the broken mare I had become. Instead, I was a filly again. My body was small, my mane and tail short and stubby. I looked down at my hooves, seeing them small and delicate.

"What... what the fuck?!" I stammered, unable to comprehend what had just happened. The pain was gone, replaced by confusion and disbelief.

I looked down, an' I saw a kinda shiny picture of me. I was all grown up, but my eyes were closed. I had a hoof on my heart, like dis I placed a hoof on my chest, mimicking the gesture. An' 'round me were all my friends, even Boo an' Lacunae! Dey were in a circle close to my face, like in photo albums.

Da circle 'round us had my cutie mark, an' it looked like we were in da same place... maybe da Core?

My cutie mark was glowin', but I jus' covered my eyes an' lips. I dunno what dat shiny thing is, but I didn't wanna get hurt.

I was gettin' closer to that glass image or whatever it was. If I hit that, am I gonna get hurt? Fuck.

I still couldn't tell if I was fallin' or if the place was movin' around me.

Whatever happens, I think I can resist it.

When I hit the image, I heard the sound of breakin' glass. It was the only sound in this weird place, 'cept for the voices in my head.

I crashed into the center, like enterin' another world. But before I could react, everything went black again, and I passed out.

"Blackjack..."

"Wake up..."

"An exciting adventure awaits you."

I opened my eyes slowly and found myself in a completely unknown place. Everything outside was white, but around me was a simple house, like somethin' out of a cartoon.

It only had one door and one window... but the furniture and decor... were just like my room in Stable 99. What is this? There were also signs about obeyin' the Overmare, like there was one in this... small stable or house?

When I looked down, I saw I had my security armor on, and my PipBuck had changed size too. I hadn't noticed that before.

My armor was dark blue and black, coverin' my whole body 'cept for my head. On the sides, it had the number ninety-nine in yellow.

I tried to get used to this place first. Ask questions out loud ain't gonna help me at all. I'll have to find a way to get back to my house... if there is one.

I got up, not wantin' to stay in this place any longer. I approached the door, which wasn’t just any door—it was like a Stable door. Luckily, I already had experience with these things. To my right, there was a button that could be used to open it.

I tried to use my magic, but it seemed that not even a simple telekinesis spell would work. What the? Is it 'cause I became a filly again that I've lost my magical abilities? Damn!

Well, never mind. I’ll just use my hooves.

I lifted the glass cover over the button and pressed it. It sounded like some kind of alarm, indicating the door was opening. A yellow light illuminated the dark room, its reflection spinning in circles. It was like this entire house was a mini Stable, if you can call it that.

There was a small tremor, typical when these doors opened. It didn’t bother me at all.

Alternative Hoofington

When the door finally opened, I saw something... strange. The clouds had smiling faces, and so did the sun. They looked like they were drawn with crayons, like those foal books my mommy used to read to me.

In front of me, there was a field of flowers, all with smiling faces too. They swayed to the rhythm of a song that I couldn’t place. It was like everything here was drawn and animated by some foalish magic. The whole scene felt like it belonged in a storybook.

I stepped out into this bizarre, crayon-colored world, trying to make sense of it all. The flowers’ faces turned to look at me, still swaying and smiling. The sun beamed down, its crayon rays warm and inviting.

"Where the heck am I?" I muttered, feeling a mix of curiosity and unease. This place was so different from anywhere I'd ever been. It was like stepping into a dream—or a cartoon.

But a part of me wanted to hum the song. It felt relaxing, honestly. I haven't experienced something like that in a while. It was so much better than my miserable life as an adult.

I just trotted along and sang, following the rhythm. "La la la." I moved my head, jumping and doing several three-hundred-degree turns like a ballet dancer.

My voice had changed too, higher pitched and more youthful. I felt like I was returning to my youth. Whatever this world wanted to offer me, for the moment, I was enjoying it. I wondered where the sweets and toys were.

"You can't think about that now! You have to get out of here. I'm sure this world will try to kill us."

"Don't talk nonsense, adult self. How long has it been since you showed a smile or even enjoyed something before you met Candy? If this world gives me an atmosphere of peace and fun, I have to enjoy it no matter what."

I pushed aside my worries, deciding to embrace this strange, whimsical place. Maybe it was a break I desperately needed.

"Oh great, now you're gonna spend your time singing and dancing... Who knows how long it's been since we got transported here. Candy must be worried sick if I don’t answer her messages. She might think I went and offed myself or something."

"She’ll probably be fine. She’s not as obsessed as you. She can go a couple hours without hearin' from you."

"Do you think so? She cares deeply about me. If I don't answer her a second sooner, I'll be sure-"

"Shh, I found a sign. Let me read it..."

"Welco... me... I don't know what it says, I can't read it."

"Welcome to Hoofington, that's what it says."

"Hoofington? Whoa! It's like how I remembered it. I always pictured it as a happy place, but one that hides many dark secrets."

"I just wanna go home."

"Quiet, adult self. I wanna explore this place. Oh, look!"

I was bouncing around, my hooves barely touching the ground, as I read the sign. The childish excitement in my voice mixed with the reality of the situation. Hoofington, in this weird, crayon-drawn world, felt more like a dream than the nightmare I knew it to be. The sun with its smiling face shone brightly, casting a warm glow over everything, making me feel oddly safe. The flowers, with their happy expressions, seemed to invite me to play, and I felt a tug at my heart, reminding me of simpler, happier times.

But the adult voice in my head wouldn't shut up. It kept nagging, reminding me of the reality outside this strange place. Still, I couldn't help but let my filly self take over. For now, this was my reality, and I was determined to make the most of it. I trotted off, eager to see what other wonders this new Hoofington had in store for me.

"Blackjack had finally arrived in Hoofington! A very exciting adventure full of fun and laughs awaits our favorite filly!" A female voice chimed in, sounding like she was narrating a storybook. Where did that voice come from? Should I be bothered by it?

"See? There's nothin' wrong with this world. You heard the narrator! This is gonna be an adventure all about me. Maybe I'll even have epic battles against some bad guys!"

"I dunno why I bother arguin' with my filly self. Listenin' to a stranger... it's just a voice we don't know. Payin' attention to it is the worst thing we can do."

"Adults just know how to complain. That's why I wanted to be a filly forever. And maybe with this situation, that's exactly what's gonna happen."

While I danced and jumped for joy, singing "Lalalala!" I stumbled upon a statue of... me.

I let out a surprised gasp. A statue of me? Am I really that special? Thanks to whoever made it.

Then, a yellow liquid started coming out of the statue's mouth. I wondered if it was pineapple juice. Just seeing it made me a little thirsty.

"Don't drink that! I'm serious, don't drink that crap! Don't be stupid!"

"I am rubber, you are glue. Anything you say bounces off of me and sticks to you!"

"Don't talk nonsense and listen to me!"

"Too late!"

I approached the fountain, placing my little hooves on the edges, and submerged my head in the yellow liquid, thinking it was pineapple juice. I began to drink eagerly, but as soon as I tasted the salty, strange flavor, I pulled my head out quickly. This was definitely not pineapple juice!

I started spitting it out, trying to get every trace out of my mouth. Running my hoof over my tongue, I struggled to remove the foul taste.

"What the hell is this? It tastes horrible!" I complained loudly. This was the worst juice I’d ever tried.

"That wasn't juice... it’s urine."

"What the fuck?! Yuck!"

"I don't know why, but I think this is related to Candy in some way..."

"Ah yes, when you did strange things with her that night. You can't fall lower, adult self."

"Shut up. We were drunk, we didn't know what we were doing."

"Surely the world wants to remind you. But this has nothing to do with me. Maybe I can still have fun."

"I'm not so sure about that..."

Pshh, whatever. I'm gonna keep moving forward. "Lalala," I sang while spinning around several times. I loved doing that, but I tried not to overdo it so I wouldn’t get dizzy.

On my way, I found a tree, but it wasn't just any tree. It had eyes, a nose, and a mouth in its trunk, like holes that gave it that shape. It moved to the rhythm of the music, smiling all the while.

Behind it, there was a cave. I wonder what was there.

"Blackjack met the Grumpy Tree. It wouldn't let anypony pass unless you completed his challenge: to defeat him in a battle. Could Blackjack beat him?" the narrator said.

Finally, something exciting! Of course, I will beat that tree.

I trotted quickly toward the grumpy tree, but as I tried to get close to attack it, it took in air and blew with all its might toward me. The wind was so strong it ruffled my mane and forced me to retreat.

Thinking I could go around it to attack from the sides, I realized it could move with its roots, so it blew at me again.

"Damn, stop blowing on me! It's annoying!" I complained, standing on two hooves and trying to cover my face from the dirt and dust.

The growling tree began to spit apples toward me at high speed. Before they hit me, I quickly ducked down.

When the apples hit something, I heard an explosion. Looking back, I saw confetti in the air... Exploding apples? Shit, I have to be careful.

But if I can't get close to the tree and attack it, what am I supposed to do?

As the grumpy tree caused a small earthquake, I held on without falling, but I noticed a piece of land rising from the ground. I was sure it was planning to attack me from below.

Extremely pointed branches emerged from the ground, aiming to impale me...

"See? I told you this world is trying to kill us. This time, I'll take control."

I rolled on the ground to avoid the sharp branches.

Moving forward, I noticed one about to emerge, so I did a quick backflip, narrowly avoiding it.

The stupid tree shook its crown, dropping multiple apples. One rolled near me.

Another apple came flying at me. I bent down and grabbed the one near me, then hurled it back with all my strength using my front right hoof.

Upon impact, the apple exploded into confetti, though it still sounded like a bomb explosion.

The tree grew angrier, its trunk turning bright red in what seemed like an attempt to intimidate me. But I was more determined than ever to defeat it.

I reached for another apple just before it blew at me again. As the wind picked up, I turned my back and let it push me, knowing resistance would be futile against its powerful gusts.

Once the wind subsided, I quickly turned and ran to a safe distance, clutching the apple tightly. I couldn't afford to waste this opportunity, so I focused all my attention on the tree.

Reflecting on its attack pattern, I realized the tree usually took time to prepare its blow. This gave me a window of opportunity to strike back. As it readied another gust of wind, I seized the moment and hurled the explosive apple at its left eye.

The apple struck true, causing a spectacular explosion of confetti as the tree recoiled from the impact.

A tarantula crawled out of one of the tree's eyes. It looked like it was drawn with crayons, but unlike the rest of this place, it had more detail. I could even see its fur from where I stood.

I readied myself to attack. As it got closer, I prepared to kick it, but I didn’t expect it to jump at me. "Shit!" I yelped as I fell to the ground, the tarantula landing on top of me and trying to bite my face. Its sudden and wild movements made it hard to get a grip, but I managed to grab its mandibles with my front hooves. I knew if it bit me, it’d likely poison me, and who knows if there were any antidotes in this place?

Desperate, the tarantula sprayed a yellow liquid at me. I closed my eyes just in time and turned my head to the right. "Fucking shit, how disgusting!" I muttered. The liquid not only splashed on my face but also on parts of my security armor.

In a desperate move, I gathered my hind hooves together and delivered a double kick, sending the tarantula flying.

I got up immediately with a kip-up, deciding it was better to avoid getting close to the tarantula or the tree. I noticed an apple rolling nearby and kicked it, then grabbed another one with my hoof. There were only three left in the entire area.

The tarantula had landed on its back but quickly recovered and started heading towards me. "Come on, come on, you son of a bitch," I muttered, preparing myself. I waited for the perfect moment to throw the explosive apple at it.

I'm not afraid of tarantulas. Come closer if you want; I want to see you suffer when this bomb hits you. You’ll pay for spitting that crap at me.

As the tarantula jumped toward me, I didn’t waste a second. I threw the apple with all my strength, and it exploded directly into its sternum. The tarantula died in the blast, releasing not just confetti but also blue blood.

"Good riddance," I muttered. Now, I only had this shitty tree left. I hope it dies soon because I'm getting sick of it.

Wait, that liquid was yellow, which means... no, don't think about it. Focus on defeating this fucking tree, Blackjack.

I feel a little ridiculous fighting a tree, but since I'm in this altered version of Hoofington, anything can happen. That cave must have a clue or something to help me get out of here. The only way to find out is to give this moron a final blow.

I fucking want to go back home... lonely, sure, but at least I was calm and had time to vent my sorrows. Being in this shitty world only makes it worse.

I didn't know what the tree was doing; I was just concentrating on the apple close to me. When I tried to take it, I felt several spikes scraping against my security armor. I winced in pain and let out a small moan.

The tree covered part of its face with pointed branches, planning to impale me by tackling. But being a tree, I can react faster than it since it's much heavier.

I let it get closer, coming at full speed with its spikes exposed. I know it wants to see my blood stained on its branches, but I won't let that happen.

With all my strength and years of training, I threw the explosive apple at it just as it was about to hit me. The tree rose into the sky, spinning wildly, an aura of darkness surrounding it. Then it exploded, disappearing completely, leaving only white glows behind.

But that wasn’t all. There was a figure in the sky. It looked like... an alicorn?

It was Lacunae... Yes, it was definitely Lacunae. She descended from the sky surrounded by a white glow, her eyes closed.

She was also a filly, just like me. How strange... but finding another friend in this place made me feel less alone.

"Filly self, please let me talk to Lacunae. I have so many questions. It's very important."

"Okay, Adult self. I'll just try to forget the tarantula attack and the tree that tried to kill us in such a terrifying way."

Lacunae landed in front of me, opened her eyes, and moved to the rhythm of the music, swaying from left to right. "Thank you very much for helping me, Go Fish! I was trapped inside that tree, and thanks to you, I am now free."

"You're welcome... I'm really happy to see you, Lacunae. I'm very confused and need to ask you several questions." She called me Go Fish? I stopped calling myself that a long time ago. I also noticed her voice had changed; it was higher pitched, just like mine. Although I never met the real filly Lacunae, I assumed that was what her voice would be like.

"Sure, what do you need to know?" Lacunae said with a smile, humming the song of this hell.

"First, I want to know what this fucking place is. What does all this mean?" I took a step forward, getting closer to Lacunae.

Lacunae tilted her head, raising an eyebrow. "Don't you remember your own creation?" She tilted her head back, looking at me intently. "This is the first Hoofington you created when you were six." She brought both hooves to her chest. "I am a creation of yours. When your mother told you about the difficult times she had exploring the wasteland and Gin Rummy had to fight against alicorns, you saw us as dangerous but powerful beings. You thought having one as a companion would be cool for your adventures. That's how you created me. Have you already forgotten about me?" Lacunae placed both front hooves back on the ground, her eyes searching mine.

"Of course I remember you, Lacunae. I would never forget you. I'm just confused, that's all... I remember a little, when I drew myself defeating a group of ghouls. Hahaha," I laughed quietly. "Do you know where Glory, Scotch, P-21, Rampage, and Boo are? I would like to see them again, to be together again," I asked, feeling a glimmer of hope that I might meet them here.

"I don't know them. I only know about the first phase of your creation, 'Go Fish Adventures.' That's what you used to call it before," Lacunae replied, her words delivering a complete disappointment. Though now I could better understand what this place was.

"Do you at least know how to get out of here?" I inquired, trying to temper my expectations.

"The only one who knows is Deus. Maybe he can help you get out of here," Lacunae said, her expression barely changing throughout the conversation. Listening to her humming, the repetitive music, and her constant swaying reminded me more and more that this wasn't the real Lacunae.

Despite that, my mind struggled to shake that perception. I wanted to believe we were just having a friendly chat. Damn you, loneliness... making me increasingly pathetic.

"Deus? Isn't he supposed to be our enemy? Or is he different in this world?" I questioned, feeling a bit confused. This world was unpredictable. The idea of seeking help from Deus didn't sit well with me, but since I created him too, maybe he wouldn't want to harm his own maker.

"That depends on how you want to look at it," Lacunae said, her voice calm and steady. "But if you really want to get out of here, it would be better if you talked to him. Before that, let me create a bridge for you. All the water in this place has been replaced by a yellow liquid... I don't know what it is, but it will surely be dangerous." Her horn glowed purple as she directed her gaze to my right, launching a ball of purple energy. In the distance, I saw a rainbow path forming, accompanied by a purple shine as the bridge was being created.

Lacunae's horn stopped glowing, and she turned her gaze back to me. "Deus is in the Core, that giant smiling heart you're seeing now. He's located there. It’s not that far away," she said, spreading her wings.

"Thank you, Lacunae. Are you going to accompany me?" I asked, hoping she would.

"I can't, Go Fish. I have to go, but thank you for helping me. I hope I've been of great help, and I hope you make the right decision!" Lacunae gained momentum to fly. I tried to stop her.

"Wait!" But it was too late. Lacunae had already risen higher into the sky and disappeared.

Fuck! I wanted her to come with me so I could at least have somepony to talk to... Also, I wonder what she meant by making the right decision?

But first, I'll go to that cave. I might find something useful.

"What was all that, Adult self? Why do we have to see Deus? I hate him. He's supposed to be the bad guy. I don't think his role here is any different."

"I know, but you heard Lacunae. This is the only way to get out of here. Or do you just want to stay here forever?"

"No, what I want now is to see Mommy and for her to give me milk. I'm hungry!"

"There's nothing like that here. You'll have to wait. Please don't throw a tantrum."

"Nooo, I want to see my mommy!"

"What if I let you lick the PipBuck? Use it as a pacifier or something, but stop squealing!"

I raised my hoof with the PipBuck and started licking and sucking it, giving in to my filly self.

I had to trot with the PipBuck in my mouth, which blocked my view a bit since I had one hoof raised. At least almost the entire path was simple, and everything was white.

I felt embarrassed even though I was physically a filly. At least there were no other ponies watching me.

"When we enter the cave, let me handle this. Whatever awaits us."

"Mmmmm!"

"And I will also need you to take the PipBuck out of my—or our—mouth. I can't make a physical effort while you lick the PipBuck."

"I also need you not to throw tantrums. That's the worst thing you can do. We could die if we get distracted because you want something that's impossible to get."

"I understand, but I have my needs. I'm not made for these adult things that I don't understand."

"Just behave. That's all I ask of you. If there are monsters or something dangerous in that cave, I will handle it."

"Alright."

I stood at the entrance to the cave. It was a little dark, with only torches for lighting. I would use my horn, but I don't think it would work at my current age.

I figured the torches would be enough. I already had enough shit in my head to complain or focus too much on the negative points of any situation that came my way.

If I can't do magic, it doesn't matter. I was able to beat that fucking tree without using any magic attacks. My physical abilities should be enough.

For the moment, the cave looked quiet... the walls... my friends.

On the walls were all my friends, trotting and flying as if we were about to head off on an adventure. It was like some kind of animation that repeated in an infinite loop. I was placed in first place, with Glory flying above me. Behind me was P-21, followed by Scotch Tape, then Rampage with her typical maniac smile. Lacunae was flying over Boo, the whole team together...

Sometimes I wished it were like that again. Unfortunately, those moments are over. I could stop and stare at that wall for hours, but my desire to get out of here is also very intense.

I wanted to avoid the desire to contemplate that wall. It reflected one of my desires: to not only be alone, but to be next to the ponies that have been accompanying me during the creation of Project Horizons. If only there was a way to go back and fix my mistakes.

All I can do is use my imagination. The damage has already been done. Now what I see is what I get.

I looked forward and saw a kind of abyss, completely black. To get to the other side, I would have to go through a rope, maintain my balance until I reached the other side. I must stay focused and put the complaints aside for now.

"Can Blackjack get to the other side? If Blackjack falls, she will be falling into an infinite void forever," the narrator said, as if it were nothing to be falling and falling forever.

"That voice scares me now! She wants to kill us," I whimpered.

"Don't worry, Filly self, we'll get out of this alive. I just need you to stay calm while I take care of the rest."

I took the PipBuck out of my mouth, it was full of saliva... I better not think about that.

I climbed the rope standing on two hooves; on four it would be very complicated and uncomfortable.

Extending my front hooves to the sides, I maintained balance as I calmly moved towards the other side.

My red eyes couldn't help but look at the abyss beneath me, and I could hear whispers.

"Let's play."

"Tomorrow will be a good day."

"Waterfall of dreams."

"We show no mercy towards our enemy."

"Denial of reality."

"I fight for peace."

"The true strength is within us."

"The prices for my mistakes are very high."

"I lost my identity."

"We have work to do."

"I trust you."

I got to the other side, where there was a chest with two torches next to it. Trotting towards the chest, I extended one front hoof and opened it slowly, not knowing if it was something that was trying to kill me or not.

Inside, there was only a toy hammer. It was red and pink, adorned with hearts on the head and a combination of blue on the top of the handle.

I think I know what this is! It's the first gift my mother gave me when I was a filly. It even has my old name, "Go Fish," written on the handle using a magic beam as a marker.

I think it will be useful for something, though I'm not sure what.

"Filly self, now we are going to head towards Deus. Please let me talk to him; it will be a conversation for adults, and I don't want you to get involved."

"It's okay, but I still don't trust him. He'll probably try to defeat us and get his way."

"I'll also be alert in case he tries something, but for now, let's get out of here and head towards the rainbow."

I trotted along the rainbow path towards the Core, trying not to think about the yellow liquid below. The air was filled with the rhythmic hum of the ever-present song, and around me, destroyed columns jutted out of the 'lake' like broken teeth, giving the place a sense of incompleteness. This world felt smaller than it initially seemed, like it was unfinished or hastily put together.

As I got closer to the Core, I noticed it wasn't the dark, foreboding place I remembered. Instead, it was bursting with vibrant flowers and buildings in every color imaginable. The giant heart at the top of the Core, now a cheerful shade of red, smiled down at me. It pulsed as if it were pumping blood, perfectly in sync with the song.

The sight was both surreal and oddly comforting, even though I knew the reality of the situation was anything but. I couldn't let myself be lulled into a false sense of security.

Each step I took on Lacunae's rainbow path echoed with a bright sound, like the tinkling of tiny bells. The path stretched out before me, transparent and seemingly fragile, which made my filly self a little nervous. But I trusted Lacunae; she wouldn't lead us into danger.

As I trotted along, the colors of the rainbow beneath my hooves seemed to come alive, glowing brighter with each step. My favorite was the vibrant red, which lit up with a warm, comforting glow as I stepped on it. It felt like stepping on sunshine.

I had reached the end of the rainbow, standing at the entrance to the Core.

"Deus, where are you? Lacunae told me that you are the only one who can get me out of here," I called out, my voice echoing in the emptiness. There was no sign of Deus, and this place was much smaller than in Project Horizons. He couldn't be far. Beyond the Core, there was just a blank space stretching into nowhere.

"What a surprise, it's Go Fish," a high-pitched, friendly voice replied. That couldn’t be Deus. Who was this?

From the top of a column, a white cat with large light blue eyes and a big red bow on its head walked towards me on two legs.

"Don't let Deus get close to us, Adult Self. He may be cute, but he is very evil," my filly self warned.

"What? How is that cat going to be Deus?"

"This is how I drew him. He was adorable, but very, very evil."

"You and I definitely have very different ways of thinking despite being the same pony," I muttered.

"So, Go Fish, I guess you came because you need my help to get out of here," Deus said, walking towards me. I couldn’t get used to seeing him as a cat—it was just too strange.

"Yes, I would like to go home," I said, raising a bent hoof towards him.

"You mean that lonely world? Where, out of all the ponies that inhabit it, there are only three who care the least bit about you?" Deus said, his tail swishing from side to side.

"Yes, even if it's painful, that's where I belong," I whispered quietly, my gaze fixed on the ground. The flowers smiled at me, but their cheeriness couldn't lift my spirits as I thought about the world awaiting me.

"I can change that," Deus said, taking a step closer to me.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, confusion clouding my thoughts.

"I can give you what you truly desire inside. I can make all the events of your own creation, Project Horizons, real. The fate of Hoofington will rest on your shoulders," Deus declared as he transformed into his cybernetic form, his red eyes piercing into mine, forcing me to shield my face for a moment.

"Are you serious?" I asked, feeling a strange sense of excitement stirring within me, though I didn't understand why.

"Yes, you will be the descendant of Twilight Sparkle. You will possess many exceptional abilities, and you will have countless friends and supporters. You will be a very special pony compared to the tiny little pony you are in the real world," Deus explained, his robotic voice resonating throughout the space, the happy music coming to a halt as he spoke.

"It sounds tempting... But all the traumatic events I'll go through... does that mean they'll be real?" I inquired, my voice tinged with uncertainty.

"Yes, Go Fish. But don't worry. You will always find a way to rise and move forward. The destiny of the entire wasteland rests on your shoulders, and the unwavering support of your friends will always motivate you to keep going," Deus reassured me.

"If I choose Project Horizons to be real, does that mean my mother, Glory, will die, and I'll never see them again? And what about Candy?" I questioned, concern evident in my voice.

"That's how you designed it in Project Horizons. You craved blood, violence in your creation, and that's what you'll have. As for Candy, not being part of the story, you'll never encounter her. Perhaps the only ponies who genuinely care for you in real life will fade into oblivion. But weigh carefully what you'll gain in return. Everything will revolve around you. You'll still be exceptionally significant, even if the ones you hold dear are absent. It may compensate for the solitude, knowing you'll become an influential figure," Deus explained, his tone resonating with a profound sense of gravity.

"In the end, the choice is yours, Blackjack. Do you prefer to dwell in solitude, or do you aspire to become a legend?" Deus stepped back, extending both front hooves towards me, creating two miniature planets in his grasp.

Deus lifted the planet shrouded in darkness, and as my focus shifted to it, the cacophony of screams, natural disasters, and explosions assaulted my senses. "This is the real world," Deus intoned solemnly, "marked by loneliness and darkness. Should you choose to return, you'll awaken in your mansion, continuing your existence as a nopony."

Lowering the darkened planet, Deus raised the other, enveloped in a soothing white glow, accompanied by a serene lullaby. "If you opt for fantasy," Deus continued, "you'll awaken in Stable 99, embarking on epic adventures with your friends, emerging as an admirable heroine."

The choice loomed before me, a conundrum of conflicting desires. Project Horizons promised fame and adoration in the wasteland, banishing the specter of loneliness and neglect forever. Yet, reality offered the solace of my mother, Glory, and Candy's unwavering presence, even if only a scant few remembered my existence.

As I made my decision, a sense of resolve washed over me, dispelling any lingering doubts. The allure of fame and glory paled in comparison to the love and companionship awaiting me in the real world. My mother's anguish, Glory's confusion, and Candy's anticipation weighed heavily on my heart, compelling me to choose the path of truth and connection over transient adoration.

"I choose the real world," I declared firmly, my voice resonating with newfound certainty.

"Are you sure?" Deus inquired, his tone tinged with solemnity.

"Yes, I wouldn't want those who love me to suffer for the sake of my ambition," I affirmed, my conviction unwavering. "The presence of my three companions is all I need in this world."

With a nod of understanding, Deus gestured toward the darkened world before me. "Okay, extend your hoof and touch the world you desire."

With measured steps, I approached the darkened realm, the cacophony of chaos growing louder with each passing moment. Yet, I remained steadfast, focusing solely on my goal: to return home, to the embrace of my loved ones.

As my hoof made contact with the darkened world, a blinding light enveloped me, washing away the discordant noise and leaving only tranquility in its wake. With a sense of peace settling over me, I felt myself slowly slipping into unconsciousness, the promise of reunion with my cherished companions guiding me home.

As I stirred from my slumber, the sensation of normalcy enveloped me like a warm blanket. The transition from the surreal realm of my fantasies to the familiar comfort of my bedroom felt seamless, as if the events of the day before had been nothing more than a fleeting dream.

I glanced around the room, noting with relief that everything was exactly as I remembered it. The mirror reflected back the image of a mare, no longer a filly, and the tidiness of my surroundings reassured me that I had truly returned to reality.

Despite the tranquility of my surroundings, my mind buzzed with lingering questions and uncertainties. What if I had chosen to make the events of Project Horizons real? What kind of life would I have led, surrounded by the fame and adulation of the wasteland? It was a question that tugged at the corners of my consciousness, a puzzle with no clear solution.

But for now, such ponderings could wait. With a sense of purpose, I resolved to check my PipBuck for any messages from Candy, eager to reconnect with the ponies who had remained steadfast in their affection for me.

As I reached for the device, a wave of gratitude washed over me. Though my life may be devoid of the grandeur and excitement of legend, I took solace in the knowledge that I was surrounded by love and loyalty, the true treasures of any world. With a smile on my lips, I embraced the simplicity of my existence, content in the knowledge that, no matter what adventures awaited me, I would face them with the unwavering support of those who mattered most.