Sorry Honey, I Brought Home a Sex Cult

by Dark Tail

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Anthro, Porn, Princess Cadance, Comedy, Shining Armor, Sex
Length: 2486

Cadence explains to her husband how and why she now has a sex cult.

Shining Armor considers himself open minded. Always willing to support his wife in any endeavor. But this might be where he draws a line in the sand. There is a sex cult outside. They claim she is their goddess. Cadence has some explaining to do.

(Derpi# 2426619)

Published 2024-02-12 17:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-02-13 17:56:30 UTC

"Didn't see that coming."

Luna sat in a bunker, dust raining down on her on occasion as she sat at a table. She was mostly naked save for a loin cloth, which best described mostly everyone sitting around her. Everyone including Twilight, Cadence and Shining Armor. All them were covered in dirt and a few scratches. The bunker had a few lanterns on, a few screens showing radar and some papers scattered among a few tables that went around the circular room. A few royal guard could be seen talking to each other through magical objects while others simply wrote down information the best they could with hoof writing utensils.

Twilight was the first to speak, trying to ignore the fact that her brother was currently in nothing but a pair of torn boxer shorts. The only one not wearing a loin cloth at the very least. She stared at everyone looking grim at the moment, perhaps contemplating just how things had gone so wrong.

"Look, this is no ones fault. I am just going to say that right off the bat. There is no way any of us could have possibly seen this coming."

Outside Discord could be heard shouting. "You call that a psionic blast? Ha, my grandma could shoot better than you!"

Luna ran her hands through her ragged looking hair and groaned. "Twilight, this is very much my fault. I am the one that started all this. Whether on accident or not, it doesn't change the crazy thing that just happened."

Cadence sighed and reached a hand out, placing it reassuringly on Luna's shoulder. "Don't worry, I dreamed of a day when everyone could be so sex positive. If it weren't going to be you than it would be me. I mean, its been several months. They managed to start a whole large village and got so many to join in such a short amount of time. Its amazing that things went the way that they did. Most of us figured eventually they would get over this craze and go home."

Shining chuckled. "She's not kidding. I'd say everything was going well. We just got dealt a bad hand recently is all."

Twilight nodded towards her brother then covered her eyes. "Er, exactly!" She turned to look back at Luna. "This was well beyond anything we could have imagined. I mean..."

She looked up and then back down at Luna. "How were we supposed to know all this sex would birth a crazy creature of pure chaos?"

"You call that a Smite? That tickled!" Came a thunderous roar from above.

"And..." Twilight leaned back in her chair with her arms folded. "It sounds like Discord is handling him just fine."

Luna sighed. "Thank goodness Fluttershy was there to ask him to help us. If she wasn't one of the heads of the sex cult, this could have gone much differently."

She rolled her eyes. "More than I can say for my sister." She pointed towards the corner where Celestia was laid on on a bed, cum soaking her naked body as she stared on with a goofy expression. "She had to pick today of all days to go into a sex induced coma. I swear, I don't know when I suddenly became the responsible one!"

Twilight was doing her best to ignore her cum soaked teacher, wondering how much Cider is going to take to forget this image of her. "You see, we got this. We just need to stay positive. I am sure that with proper planning and determination, we will come out of this stronger than before. You'll see!"

The four nodded, still looking slightly unsure but starting to feel at least a bit more confident as the earth shuddered once more.

"Hah, and you call yourself Chaos. Please, no imagination is all I can say about you. You open up a portal and all you bring out is a Two Headed bird. Such a disappointment!" Could be heard above as the sound of rumbling began once again.

Author's Note

Don't worry, I am sure this story will have a happy ending... Eventually.
Also to the idea of Celestia not getting statue for being seen as too motherly to be a sex goddess, that is a fun idea that I may to a bonus chapter about later.

"You did what?!"

Shining Armor strode through the empty halls, his Princely armor still on having just gotten back from a diplomatic retreat. All had seemed well in the world of Equestria, no wars on the horizon, just simple rivalries at best. To be honest, he was happy to be back and to soon be finally strip out of this blue and gold armor that seemed needlessly heavy, covering him in shoulder to hooves in gold and silver plating. At least, that is what he would normally be doing. But instead the moment he got off the train, he was met with a perplexing sight.

Hundreds of creatures, though a fair amount of ponies, mostly naked partaking in various lewd acts and even erecting lewder statues to his wife. He watched in silent amazement as some began to chant her name, pleasuring themselves on each other and some even on the statue itself.

Now he knew his wife well. Princess of Love tends to lead to some sex fueled shenanigans. Heck, he had been a part of a few orgies she had thrown in the castle. Open marriage and all that he was fine with. This however, this was insanely over the top and was out for all to see. There is no way she managed to get this many together like this in such a short amount of time, something was going on here.

So he snuck around the bigger gatherings, making sure he wasn't spotted as he quickly gathered intel, heading to the throne room where he knew his wife would be. Though despite his best efforts, he didn't quite make it without issues.

So it was when he swung those doors open, he had more than a few things to say when he stared down at his wife currently sitting in a loin cloth, half naked and reading a magazine. She looked up, first snickering at what appeared to be cum falling from his the right side of his face. Her eyes fell on him with a surprised and apologetic look.

"Sorry honey, should have warned you... Everything around the castle is a splash zone."

Shining Armor wiped his face with a nearby curtain before turning back to Cadence, walking over to her as he gestured outside. "Now Cadence, I thought we talked about this, no orgies outside unless its a holiday and with a good heads up for all involved. Also, what the heck is going on. When did you become a sex goddess?!"

She crossed her arms. "About a few days ago. I inherited it from Luna. See, she accidently started a sex cult and it quickly got out of hand. I felt a strong desire to help and then I took it off her hands and now, this is where we are."

Shining did his best to process what had just been told to him. "Luna... Started an sex cult... HOW?"

"Its a long story dear, but what is important is that I now have it and I am doing my best to keep it in check."

Shining took a few steps towards the windows. "Oh yeah, and how is that going exactly?" He asked, pointing outside. "Not very well." He said before she could answer. "In fact, I'd say there is enough chaos outside to make Discord jealous."

Outside, the there was several creatures caught in various acts of pleasure, some mixing wild looking drinks, others feasting while enjoying good company. It was debauchery unlike anything this kingdom had ever seen and that was saying something. The smell of sex was strong, the cacophony of moans and groans filled the air. Its seemed the Sex Cult had managed to extend its reach farther and faster than anyone could have imagined from what Shining had gathered just on his way here from the bits of conversation he had picked up by the few parties that weren't lost to the throws of lust and pleasure.

His face suddenly fell as a thought suddenly crossed his mind. "Wait, we have several lewd acts going on outside, well enough to slap a Mature and Porn tag rating on this mess. Please tell me our daughter isn't here right now!"

Cadence shook her head. "I sent her and all the children out to a special camp and resort while I attempted to get a handle on this. Don't worry, I made sure to evacuate all under 18 just in case."

The stallion let out a sigh of relief before turning back to his wife. "So do you have a plan? We can't let them all stay here. We have a kingdom to run after all. Sex goddess or not, you are still our princess."

The Crystal Kingdom Princess stood up and went over to Shining. She flicked her magic, allowing the armor to lift itself up and off of him, pulling off what was needed, then magically vanishing the fatigues underneath, leaving him in just a pair of boxers.

"Shining Armor, how long have you known me?"

Shining Armor smiled and kissed his wife passionately. His lips melting with hers, his hands wrapping around her bare back as he held her close. Her hands traveling up and down his back, the two locked in a moment of pure passion. So it was when the two broke apart, Cadence looked at him dreamily while Shining raised an eye brow.

"Long enough to know you well..." They stared at each other with a smile.

Shining did his best to hold back his laughter. "You've got no idea do you."

"NOPE. I GOT NOTHING!" The Pink alicorn began to feel her eyes go a bit watery as she stared back at him, the mask slipping for just a moment.

The half naked unicorn sighed and placed his hands on her shoulders. "Listen, I love you from the depth of my heart. I trust you farther than I can throw you. And we both know that is saying something. But maybe its best to start informing me a bit more when you decide to extend help onto others."

The alicorn held her head low and nodded. "Ok, I promise to keep you in the loop better from now on." She then turned back up to stare at him, placing her hands around the back of his neck. "So what are we going to do in the mean time?"

He grinned. "Actually, I have an idea. But first, how much do you love me?"

Cadence raised a brow at that. "Enough to ride your dick from morning till night, make you breakfast the next morning and letting you parade my naked ass throughout the castle for all to see."

"That was a fantastic anniversary gift by the way."

Cadence leaned in close. "Lend me this plan of yours and I promise to let you do something like that again much sooner."

Shining grinned and pulled his wife closer, feeling her large breasts crash against his chest as he stared down at her, her eyes looking at him with a hint of lust and curiosity.

"Well it just so happens I got done talking with the King of the Changedlings about a stretch of real-estate that was discovered recently nearby. Nice fresh water spring, large open area surrounded by trees and particularly good soil. And it just so happens that all this sex is most likely producing love and lust like a machine, able to feed hundreds of love sharers no problem."

Cadence felt a weight being lifted off her shoulders as she stared up at him disbelief. "Well that is convenient."

"More like a happy accident. I was originally going to pass on the land as I figured it would be too far away from us to really matter but told him I would still think on it for the next few days. Looks like I will be sending a letter much sooner than that."

Cadence nodded as she began to formulate a new plan in her mind. "I'll get the royal treasurer on call, she be showered by now after that rather impressive displaying of hip and tongue work from earlier. And I think our economics guy should be good to go after a few throat lozenges."

Shining placed a hand on her cheek. "No, I think they can wait. Its been a few days and I think we could both use a bit of love right now." His hands dove down quickly and found their way to her loincloth, loosening its bindings and allowing it to hit the floor as she now stood naked in front of him. Not one to be left out, Cadence quickly evaporated the boxers with her magic, allowing a long and hard slab of meat to come springing out. She licked her lips, tracing the long object with her finger, feeling it extend out between her legs.

Cadence paused before staring up at him dreamily again. "Shall I get the ball gag and lube?"

"I love you so much, you know that?" He said with a grin.

She smiled back. "And love you just as much, my wonderful and very blessed prince. Looks like things are going to be just fine."

Both felt a weird sensation run down their backs but decided to ignore that and focus on each other for now. Their sounds of sex soon joining the cacophony that was going on just below them. The large number seemingly getting added to more and more as the days went on.

Moving all of them wasn't an easy process but once they were well setup, The Cult of Sexual Enlightenment were quick to get their village made. Once the houses and other amenities were well established, things soon were quick to get underway once again. Now already twice the size than when they had originally started with when everyone had arrived at the Chrystal Kingdom, they began to spread out their teachings, quickly finding a surprising amount of footing country wide.

One might think so much pleasure, lust and carnal acts would lead to more chaotic eventualities. Maybe if someone had been paying attention to the center of Equestria, they might have noticed the strange swirling energy that was starting to take form. But who could have when lost in the throws of their own beliefs of enlightenment through ecstasy?

Author's Note

It continues at long last. Next chapter is going to be where things start to go off the rails. One might even say things start to get a little CHOATIC.