Shall we?
Over the ages that I've been here, I've 1) Invaded a country, 2) Claimed myself ruler over Celestia and Luna, 3) Attacked royalty, 4) Raped at least three ponies, 5) Ordered the execution of a few ponies, and 6).
6): I've spread panic and sorrow in a land of peaceful ponies thought to be make believe.
They had me bound in ropes and chains that they had been secretly forging for just this moment.
Humans had strange powers in Equestria, as magic barely affected them, but metal...Solid objects acted just like they did back home.
I looked the Royal Guard in the eye the whole time with a smirk as he escorted me to my doom.
Which just so happened to be held in the beautiful gardens of Canterlot.
Kind of fitting, I suppose; the overthrow and execution to be held in a peaceful and beautiful place to mark the change, eh?
Symbolism is a thing not lost on me.
"Foxi Shandris!" Celestia boomed, doing her best to control her temper and fear.
I never gave them my real name, but it wouldn't have made a difference.
"For your crimes against the crown and Equestria, Assault on Royalty, four counts of rape, releasing Discord, and ordering the death of eleven innocent ponies,-"
"No one is innocent, Celestia."
My comment was met with a glare as she continued.
"We, the ponies of Equestria, hereby sentence you to death!"
A chorus of hooves stomped their approval as I was led to the chopping block.
I smiled at the crowd before I was forced to my knees and had my neck placed above it.
And that's when the reality of what I had done set in.
I stepped foot in a world we all wanted to go to, but I let my thoughts consume me.
I became power hungry and violent, letting my mind believe me that all those FimFics I had read were true in some way or another.
But I did not cry.
I just kept smiling...
"Axe pony, is your axe sharp?" Princess Celestia asked.
This was only too perfect.
“Yes, your majesty.” said the earth pony from under his black hood.
"How many swings will it take?" she inquired.
It was an uncanny coincidence.
"Just one, your majesty; quick and merciful."
"Tis a shame..." Princess Celestia muttered to herself.
I waited for my cue.
"Any last words? They'll be taken into record."
I smiled like a child in a candy store.
"Just two; I'm sure your sister will remember them. That is, if the whole thing were actually true...Regardless," I said, letting my demeanor match hers as I repeated the words she had stuttered on so long ago: “V… Vivas… Noctus.”
The effect was lost on them, which wasn't surprising at all since that story never was true.
They went on like I had said nothing at all.
And as I saw their crowded faces staring at me, all twisted in fear and rage, I did not cry.
I did not feel fear.
I simply smiled, because this all would have made an incredible story...Had anyone been around to write it.
"Swing." the princess ordered.
And the axe fell...
My little pony, my little pony, ah, ah, ah, ah, aaahh I hummed, sitting at my computer like I had done for so many years.
I knew I needed to change my habits; to get out more and do something productive rather than sit at the computer all day typing stories for FimFiction, but it's hard to break a habit you know?
Especially one that's just so much fun.
But we're getting off topic now.
You know what, nevermind. All that stuff is boring, and who even cares what I do with my life?
Let's skip ahead...
Let's see...
Went to the library...
Crossed the street..
Ah, that's right!
I got hit by a car.
Yep.
Fun way to start the day in a new world, right?
Don't ask me how I managed to end up in Equestria just by being hit by a car, because I don't know; and Pinkie had no clue either.
Where were we...
Ah, yes.
Ponyville, Equestria...
What the hell just happened?
I couldn't remember.
But I could see.
And oh what I saw...
Lush green grass, check.
Clear blue sky, check.
It all looked so beautiful, so pure, so ...Unhuman.
There was no way I was in Kansas anymore- I mean Florida, but that's besides the point.
I wasn't on earth.
I couldn't be; pollution and war had taken its toll on the environment and...And I don't think the world had ever looked this bright and beautiful.
Okay, so I might be somewhere in the world.
Either that or a coma.
Animals.
So many rabbits and birds that looked like the ones you learn about in preschool.
You know, "'B' is for bird! 'R' is for rabbit!" and all that crap.
...
I'm sorry, let me just...Let me just take a break.
My mind has been hell and...
And I just need a break, alright?
...
...
...
Alright, let's skip ahead to the part you're all waiting for: Ponyville.
Yes, there, I said it.
Now shut the fuck up and let me continue.
I don't know why every single person who has ever pushed themselves into a FimFic has ended up in or just outside of Ponyville.
Okay, scratch that; I do know.
I was just incredibly surprised that I was standing right outside Ponyville.
Like a neat little story where the character comes to his first conflict, right?
It almost got me killed.
"
