It was a late Friday night, Jon returned to the living room with a bowl of popcorn. Eugene was already there, waiting for him before the TV. Their marathon of My Little Pony was about to resume after a long, long bathroom break. It felt like they spent days inside the bathroom but at long last, they can continue forward.

“What took you so long? The show is about to start God darn it!” Eugene shouted, stuffing his face full of popcorn.

“Dude, it’s not my fault I had diarrhea! I was squirting out shit like I was fucking Squirtle or something, man! My stomach still hurts, by the way.” Jon glowered, walking awkwardly to the couch.

“Dude, who fucking cares, I haven’t taken a shower in years, It wouldn’t make any difference anyway. Now sit down and shut the fuck up!”

Jon begrudgingly sat next to his friend, feeling his ass still wet. The next episode started. It was the third episode of the second season. But, already something was odd about it. Maybe it was the fact that Discord was somehow in it despite being already turned to stone, maybe.

“Hold on, weren’t we at episode 3? This is episode 2... I think. I mean, I don’t remember any of this.” Jon said, confused.

“Yeah, haven’t we listened to this episode already? Just skip it, maybe the next episode will make us remember where we left off.” Eugene suggested.

Jon reached out to grab the remote lying on the table before him. But just as he was about to pick it up, Discord’s hand shot out the television and snatched it before Jon’s bewildered eyes, accidentally rubbing Eugene’s genitals in the process.

“It’s like ... My first sexual experience ever and by a fucking fictional character. I want to kill myself dude.” Eugene sadly realized, seeing his pride hardening like stone under his pants.

Jon pissed himself and nearly fell off the couch. “Dude, what the fuck?!”

Discord chuckled as he dangled the remote inside the screen, now a part of Equestria. He squished it, turning the inanimate object into an iron gauntlet. “Forgotten already? None of this is real. I mean, I certainly hope it isn’t real, there’s practically nothing going on in your mundane, useless lives. That’s why I added a bit of... spices to the mix, without your permission of course. Remember this object?” The god of chaos pointed at the iron gauntlet.

“So does that mean my recent sexual experience wasn’t even real? No need to cut it deeper dude ... But wait a moment, if you’re the element of chaos and you can create everything you want, why wouldn’t you just do it yourself? Why the fuck do you need us, fucking loser!?” Eugene exclaimed, oozing with rage.

Discord sighed. “Oh, you hairless monkeys, always with the why and the how. I can’t do it myself, because I am encased in stone. Why, I’m surprised you didn’t figure that one out seeing as you regularly touch yourself to pictures of Fluttershy. I cannot reach that iron gauntlet myself, and I didn’t have enough time to get it back from Celestia, which is where you come in. You have all the help you need after all. Do it for the Great One as your dear new friend says.”

“You said it yourself, my brain is now mostly sperm dude, I do not think with my intellect, I’m more like a meat shower if you know what I mean.”

Jon’s eyes widened. “Hey, hold on. Eugene, aren’t we supposed to be like, fillies?”

“Oh, shit yeah!”

Discord smirked as he snapped his finger. “Get with the program, girls.”

Bo Peep opened her eyes, lost and confused. All she saw was a bright blue ceiling and massive pastel-colored pillars above her. She blinked many times, but the view didn’t change. Getting up, she realized she was currently in a fancy restaurant with Fluttershy, Jean-Augustin and of course, her friend Poh. Speaking of her friend, she seemed just as lost and confused as her.

Poh opened her eyes, only to realize she couldn’t see anything, panicking she quickly realized she was currently choking in a weird and warm substance. Putting her face out of it, she soon noticed she was sleeping in a bowl of soup. With an awkward smirk she looked to Fluttershy and Augustin for some answers. All she was met with were worried and weirded out looks.

“What the fu- hay, what the hay happened?” Bo Peep asked, looking at Fluttershy with distrust. “Last time I checked, I don’t pass out in a bowl of soup just because.”

“I-I’m sorry my sweet little angels, you just looked particularly traumatized by the ... let’s say recent event. Augustin and I decided to give both of you some medicinal herbs to calm your anxiety. Poor little fillies, you were shaking like a leaf.” Fluttershy, explained.

Bo Peep blinked. “Medicinal herbs? Uh, okay. What kind of herbs?”

“It was chamomile. It helps greatly with anxiety and relaxation. See, I asked for some tea for you two and I put some chamomile in there, but, um, I didn’t expect you two to pass out.” Fluttershy frowned. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know it wouldn’t bring you any good. It usually helps in my case.”

“Ok, hear me out, I’ve been drinking tea for like five years and I can say without hesitation that she spiked your fucking drink with something.” Poh whispered to Bo.

“What? But that only happened in your dream. The real Fluttershy wouldn’t...” Bo Peep looked at the mare. Seemed innocent enough, but just as she looked over to Jean-Augustin, the pegasus filly noticed a bottle next to him. A bottle of Xanax. Her entire body tensed with anger and indignation. “That motherfucker is not real! He spiked our drink with Xanax!”

Jean-Augustin's happy innocent expression turned to worry as he knocked the bottle away. “No, I wouldn’t bring any harm to those who act in the almighty’s name.”

Poh furrowed her brows. “The fuck are you doing, you swine? Are you the Heisenberg of Ponyville? How can you even make this shit? I’m pretty sure the ingredient is more artificial than Diamond Tiara confidence”

Bo Peep facehoofed. “Oh, and how are you in a restaurant in Canterlot? Aren’t pets not allowed in such fancy places?”

Jean-Augustin's eyes widened. He looked around worried, dropping on all four like an average dog, realizing he was in a public space. The recent event with the kidnappers made him almost forget he was supposed to be just a normal dog. Just then, a waiter walked to the table with a mega pint of wine and immediately eyeballed the canine. He was the standard fancy type, wearing a black suit to contrast with his light blue fur, a twirled-up mustache and well combed smooth dark blue hair.

“Animals aren’t allow-”

Without skipping a beat, the archangel jumped through the window and ran off, much to everyone’s surprise for they were on the second floor.

“Jean-Augustin! Careful, you can cut yourself on... oh.” Fluttershy muttered hopelessly.

“... Is the cost of the repair going to be on the receipt?” Poh anxiously asked to the waiter.

The waiter was understandably furious. Viciously staring down the filly, he wrote something on a receipt, slammed it down on the table and gave a cut and dry answer. “You break it, you pay for it.”

Bo’s brows furrowed. Of course, her friend’s shenanigans would get her in trouble too. Not on her watch! She was going to get back at him, prove she’s got a backbone. Peeved, Bo Peep feigned disgust and pushed her bowl of soup away. “Blergh! This soup is dis-gus-ting! Can’t believe you ponies can mess something that simple up!”

Angry, the waiter stared at the filly with upmost repulsion. How dared she insult the finest cuisine in all Equestria? “Complete and utter baloney! Our soup is among the best in all Equestria. You can’t stuff us with the bill for we have standards and a reputation to uphold. Nopony would believe you.”

Without missing a bit, Poh jump on the table and grab two slice of bread and sticking on both sides of the waiter ears. “What the fuck are you? You’re a stupid sandwich. Just taste the soup and tell me if your life still worth, you rich and disgusting little swi-”

The waiter threw Poh out another window with magic.

“SCREW YOU FUCKING RASCAaaal!”

Fluttershy gasped in horror. She jumped off her seat and ran outside. “Poh, oh my gosh! Are you okay?!”

“Ayo what?!” Bo screamed.

Outside, Jean-Augustin sprinted back to the injured filly. “Oh, shit. She’s not breathing! I’ll have to do a mouth-to-mouth.” Licking his mouth, he leaned closer to the downed filly, puckering his lips.

The angelic canine reach to the unconscious body of Poh and started to vigorously do some tongue sucking, licking the inside of her mouth in front of all the horrified passersby.

Paralyze by the pure horrific imagery of the scene, Poh quickly started to punch Jean-Augustin in the face with her hooves with difficulties. “GET HIM OUT OF MY MOUTH, GET IT OUT!” Poh screamed at the top of her lungs.

Jean-Augustin smiled and licked the filly’s face like a normal dog. “It worked. My knowledge in resuscitation brought back the almighty’s aid. Now, we must return to-”

“Poh, are you hurt?!” Fluttershy cried out, arriving at the scene. She was horrified to see all the broken shards of glass on the floor, mixed with blood, the blood of the poor earth pony.

Stunted, Poh violently then vomit the remaining of her meal on the floor and start shaking uncontrollably on the floor. “Is my first real sexual experience being raped by a dog? What is the point of my life?” The now traumatized filly realized.

The kind pegasus picked the filly up. “D-Don’t move! I’ll take you to a hospital.” But first, she needed to get the other filly and leave before things get any worse. She was still inside with that psycho waiter!

“ ...O-okay mummy...”

Inside the restaurant, Bo Peep furiously slammed her hooves on the table. “Don’t believe me! Taste it! I tell you, this stuff is so bad, it’s dangerous just to sniff it!”

The waiter hissed, trotting close to the daring filly. “Oh, so you have a death wish, haven’t you? Don’t expect to come out unscathed after making a scene like that.” Afterward, he lifted a spoon and took a sip of the spoon.

In a matter of seconds, he crumbled to the floor, overdosing on Xanax.

“I’m stuffing you with the bill, bitch. Do something about it now.” Bo gloated, flipping the unconscious waiter off with her wings.

Pissing blood out of her hooves, Poh slowly reached to the now still body of the waiter after dropping out of Fluttershy’s worried embrace. She then violently kicked him in the nuts and spat on his face. “Fucking capitalist.” Then, Poh took her last breath and fell unconscious on the floor.

“I th- shit.” Jean-Augustin started before abruptly cutting himself off when he realized the problem.

Everypony in the restaurant were eyeballing the group with fear and apprehension. The atmosphere was dead silent, except for the occasional coughs. All eyes were on them and have been on them for the past five minutes. It was getting really embarrassing just to stay here, especially for poor Fluttershy. Everywhere they go, chaos and fear ensued.

Tired, Bo Peep handed the pegasus the bottle of Xanax. “Here, I believe you’ll need it more than we do. So, chill out, pop a Xanax.”

After a short trip to the hospital to get Poh some bandages for her wound, the group made the final stop before Canterlot’s great and mighty castle. The tallest and most majestic infrastructure in the capital of Equestria. It was big, it was beautiful, it was heavily guarded and home to the country’s most powerful artefacts. Somewhere inside, the legendary iron gauntlet was inside. The powerful artefact the two fillies needed to retrieve for Discord’s sake, then maybe he can help them with their current imprisonment. And also, maybe do something about their age, just so they... get it on with a very mature and reserved mare, let’s just say.

“Dude, we are inside, this is perfect, let’s go infiltrate the building and take the legendary iron gauntlet for ourselves. With a cute face and a body like that I’m sure the guards won’t be a problem!” Poh whispered to her comrade and give her nudge to her shoulder.

“I don’t think whoring ourselves out is going to work. We’re not going to a church, mind you.” Bo Peep said, uncertain.

“I didn’t say that ... Oh wait! I’ve got an idea, just break my other hoofs and when the guards will be all around me, just sneak out behind them and take the gauntlet!” Poh proposed.

“Goodness, no!” Fluttershy objected. “You’re already badly hurt, I won’t let you do something so reckless.”

“So ... you care less about a legendary artefact that could potentially destroy all the world and more about one filly you know for about let say ... 3 days? That’s cute. Thanks mommy!” Poh exclaimed.

“Oh, um, th-thanks?”

Bo’s jaw dropped as she looked to her right. “Guys, l-look!”

In the distance, the three ponies saw Jean-Augustin sneak up behind a guard. The archangel lunged at him and placed him in a chokehold, dragging the heavily armored guard into a bush. The bush trashed around a lot for a few seconds, then stopped. A little while later, Jean-Augustin came out, dressed in the guard’s armor.

“Nobod- Nopony’s going to buy that, Jean-Augustin!” Bo Peep said. “This isn’t Hitman we’re playing, this is reality... sort of.”

“Useless!” Jean-Augustin glowered as he threw the armor into the bush, hitting the unconscious guard.

“I-Is he going to be okay?” Fluttershy asked nervously.

“Rest assured, it is not my intention to take anypony’s life on this holy mission. I am merely your aid.” Jean-Augustin promised.

“So ... what’s our duties of care in the situation? I know I proposed to break my right hoof, but I wasn’t for real, you now.” Poh shared with the group.

Fluttershy cleared her throat. She was the most knowledgeable in the group when it came to Canterlot Castle. She visited that place a few times, but only the main hall and the garden during the Grand Galloping Gala. Still, it was better than nothing. “I believe it will be easier if we just... ask Princess Celestia about the gauntlet, right?”

Bo Peep frowned. “I mean, it makes sense. We can always ask nicely. Doesn’t make for a cool mission, but...”

“I-I-I think I'm gonna pass on this one, I’m pretty sure my speech stats are on the lowest, so I’ll give you the pass on that one. No fuc-hay you miss it more than me dude!” Poh politely denied and pushing her friend toward the remaining guard.

“Oh, uh hey there. We, um, want to speak with Princess Celestia.” Bo Peep started, smiling cutely as best as she could. “It’s very important.”

The guard raised an eyebrow. “I’ll see what I can do about it. The princess is very busy at the moment. But, pardon me for asking; have you seen my comrade? I could have sworn he was here a few minutes ago.”

“He’s been ... looted.” Poh firstly responded.

“He’s sleeping naked in a bush.” Bo deadpanned.

Jean-Augustin stared the two fillies down with a look that screamed “Shut the fuck up!” He then violently slaps the two fillies on the butt cheek for a quick respect reminder.

“... I’m sorry for that presumption, but is your pet having anger issues?” The guard followed.

“N-N-No no no!” Fluttershy gasped. “He’s really, um, nice usually. He’s just a little grumpy because he doesn’t like long trips.”

“Oh, I see.”

The bush next to the guard shook a bit. “Hm? Is there somepony in there?”

“No, just the rabbits.” Bo Peep was quick to respond dismissively.

Jean-Augustin took advantage of the conversation and jumped in the bush, grabbed the body of the guard and snap his neck in a quick and clean manner, much to everypony’s shock and horror.

The other guard stared bewildered at the bush. “D-Did I just heard a neck being snapped?” He turned to the two fillies. Fluttershy was particularly horrified, looking as pale as her pet Angel.

“Why do you ask us that question? We are 6, how the fuck should we know!” Poh responded.

“Oh my gosh...” The pale mare muttered quietly.

Suddenly, Jean-Augustin jumped out of the bush and pulled the other guard in. The bush trashed around wildly yet again, and stopped all the same after a few seconds. The archangel stepped out of the bush on all four. “I have made a path for you, my comrades. Oh, and rest assured, I did not kill that guard. I merely handicapped him, he’s going to be stuck in a wheelchair for some months, but he’ll be fine.”

“The dude’s gonna look like Stephen Hawking in a couple of months” Poh quietly joked to herself.

“Okay, Agent 47.” Bo Peep sighed. “Let’s just get a move on. I’m getting tired of all this cra- stuff.”

Fluttershy trotted over to Jean-Augustin, greatly displeased. She used her greatest technique, the infamous stare. Just like magic, the archangel immediately appeared distressed and disappointed in himself. “Now, you listen here. I am tired of your reckless and violent actions! Stop hurting ponies left and right and stop causing damage to other ponies’ properties! You are not a child, you are a smart and intelligent archangel, so act like one!”

“Gawd, I wish I was in his place... Apart from that screaming stuff.” Poh quietly responded.

“Now, sit here and think about what you’ve done. We’ll come back once we have the gauntlet.” The Element of Kindness finished, trotting towards the interior.

Walking through the hall of stained windows was nice and easy. Since they had “permission” to be here, they were able to simply trot towards Princess Celestia’s room to ask for her help. She would then point them to the iron gauntlet, they can get it and thus, save humanity and Jean-Augustin's master.

Arriving at the great alicorn’s door, Fluttershy stopped. It was the first time she would come up to her without her friends and to ask for a strange iron gauntlet she knew little of no less. Jean-Augustin's story about Kim Jong-Un and a blacksmith was rather hard to understand. What did any of this had to do with her and these two fillies?

Well, not that it mattered right now. She was at Celestia’s door, might as well knock.

Knocking and waiting for some sort of reply, Fluttershy heard the quick shuffling of hooves behind the door and a lot of banging against furniture. It took an entire minute of these strange sounds until the door finally opened and Celestia came to greet her in all her sparkling wonder.

“My little ponies! What brings you here on this beautiful day?”

“Um, g-good afternoon, Princess Celestia. I’m terribly sorry to disturb you when you’re really busy, b-but I was wondering if you know anything about an iron gaunt-”

“Give us the iron gauntlet, you honky ass pony with stupid anorexic legs!” Poh furiously shouted.

The two other ponies froze, their eyes wide opened and their mouth agape.

“You can’t say that, you idiot!” Bo Peep shouted back.

“P-Poh! You can’t say that to Princess Celestia! That is extremely disrespectful!” Fluttershy puffed out on the verge of a heart attack.

“What? Isn’t that true that she has anorexic legs? My family told me to be honest to other pe-ponies!” Poh responded.

Princess Celestia, however, had not processed anything Poh said other than “Iron gauntlet”. How did she know about THE iron gauntlet? “I’m sorry, I don’t know anything about this particular iron gauntlet you seek. Best of luck in your search.” And with that, she closed the door on them.

“...What?”

So, walking back in the hall, all three were left confused. The response Celestia gave them reeked of lies, she seemed rather distressed about it all even. What was going on there?

“So, uh, mission failed, we’ll get ‘em next time. We, the, uh, chaotic and disorganised family.” Bo Peep bitterly announced to her found family.

“Firstly, this is cute of you for considering us as a family. Secondly, let’s just put our brain together, ok? The iron gauntlet is for sure the most powerful item in all Equestria. So, it is impossible for Celestia to have never heard about it. She is the ruler of this planet for crying out loud! Surely the legendary artefact is close to her on some level!” Poh argued.

“We gotta take a peek at her window.” Bo agreed. “Mommy, since you are the best at flying here, you should get up there and look. Surely Princess Celestia knows a thing or two that she hid from us! Pretty please!”

“Oh yes, mommy pwease! We are going to help you do the dishes and never swear again! We promise, right Bo? ... Right?” Poh excitedly exclaimed.

Fluttershy looked down. “I-I don’t know. It feels wrong to intrude on the princess’s privacy. I mean, I wouldn’t like for ponies to peek through my window.”

Looking up, Bo Peep lowered her eyebrows. “Kinda like this gu- colt?” She asked, pointing at a pegasus colt currently hovering before a window peering to Celestia’s bedroom.

“What?!” Fluttershy screamed.

The mysterious colt flew down before Fluttershy could get up there, heading towards the entrance.

“Quick! After him!” Bo shouted.

Chasing the colt, the dysfunctional found family returned to the entrance of the castle, only to be met with another bewildering sight. Dozens upon dozens of guards stripped of their armor, lying unconscious on the ground with Jean-Augustin patiently standing on his hind legs in the middle of the stairs, holding one of them by the neck. Seeing him from the back looked oddly menacing and hilarious all the same.

“You have returned, my new master. Have you recovered the iron gauntlet for my old and still current master?” The archangel asked calmly, paying no mind to the surrounding mess.

“I feel like I’m in a real bad session of Skyrim. I’m almost sure he’s gonna share to us that he got an arrow in the knee for fuck's sake.” Poh said to herself.

“Jean-Augustin! I thought you promised us you wouldn’t hurt anypony ever again!” Fluttershy scolded.

“Unless they are criminals. In which case, fuck them up for us, buddy.” Bo Peep added.

“Huh, didn’t you get into politics.” Poh commented.

Jean-Augustin frowned, tossing the unconscious guard aside. “My deepest apologies. I thought I was... No, you’re right, I do not deserve your kindness O great Element of Kindness. I must focus on bettering myself for the sake of the mission.”

Fluttershy was about to reprimand him further when the mysterious colt descended close to them. The three ponies and the dog rushed to him.

Bo Peep gasped. “Is that My Little Pony Season 2 character Featherweight?!”

“Why the hell would a minor creep in front of the princess Celestia window? ... Oh wait ... EUGH that’s fucking disgusting dude! At least ask her to go out for dinner!” Poh shouted.

Featherweight took out the photo from his camera. “Nice, I got it! Diamond Tiara is for sure going to like this one!”

“Hm? What’s on it?” Bo Peep asked, inching closer to the colt.

Featherweight pulled back, doing his best to hide the photo with his small wings. “Hey, no looking! Nopony’s supposed to view this picture yet! Wait until it’s published in the newspaper.”

Jean-Augustin's quick paws snatched the picture while the colt was distracted. In an instant, his face dropped from happy to traumatized. “In the name of the almighty, no...” Tears streamed down his face. “No-o-o...”

“W-What’s the matter?” Fluttershy asked concerned, gingerly holding the dog in her hooves. As she stared into the picture that shook her new dog, she found herself subject to the same traumatizing effect. “Goodness, no. I-I-I can’t believe it.”

“Is that worse than the time I came home to school, and I saw my mom dominating my dad with a 12-inch strapped dildo? ... O-o-o-h yeah that’s worse.” Poh exclaimed as she saw the unfortunate picture.

Bo Peep went on to gaze into the abyss of the photo next. “Oh my fucking god. Are you actually kidding me?”

With Poh as the last witness, the picture was now engraved in their minds for eternity.

Princess Celestia fingering her pussy with the legendary iron gauntlet.

“Praise the sun!” Poh exclaimed as she was reaching to the sky with both of her front hooves.

“Thy holy relic, tainted by white pussy...” Jean-Augustin muttered to himself in disbelief.

“C-Can you... let us have this picture? We’ll need it to borrow something important.” Bo Peep said as seriously as she could, feeling somewhat turned on by the photo. Her cheeks were growing redder by the seconds.

“I vouch fo- fuck.” Jean-Augustin gave up, realizing he was getting too comfortable showing his true nature.

Featherweight stared at the archangel, confused. “Did that dog just...”

“No, you’re just imagining thing. Can you give us the photo please? Or you’re like a fucking a npc from a bad RPG who’s gonna ask us a slice of bread and an iron dagger in return?” Poh responded.

“W-Well, I'm not sure. Diamond Tiara really insisted that I get a good, embarrassing picture of Princess Celestia. I don’t think she would allow me to give it to somepony else. O-Oh, but if you pay her in return, then maybe she will change her mind. Th-that's the only way I can make her agree with me on anything at all.”

“Have you noticed you’re outnumbered and your half the size of us? You’re not in position for exchange, loser!” Poh shouted.

Jean-Augustin smacked her in the back of the head. “The great Fluttershy demands no violence, thus you will not threaten anypony.”

“Dude, she didn’t even fly up to Princess Celestia's window. My promise is no more. I can swear and do shit as I want! Plus, it’s certainly not a dog that kicked his genital with a metal pipe that’s gonna teach me this lesson.”

Fluttershy gave the potty mouthed filly a disapproving stare.

Surprised, the young filly stopped her bad attitude. She quickly laid on the ground and stared down as she was quietly grunting out of disapprobation.

Bo Peep sighed. “Well, guess it’s up to us two to make some bits.”

“You girls?” Fluttershy asked. “Are you sure this is even a good idea anymore?”

Jean-Augustin nodded.

Bo Peep smirked. “Yeah, see. Poh and I will come up with something. We’ll, uh, make a new business and get loads a money! Then, we pay Diamond Bitchara, get the picture, force Celestia to give us the gauntlet and voila! Mission complete.”

Jean-Augustin stood up and took on an akimbo pose. “Indeed, this is trial by fire. You fillies must prove to the almighty that you are the chosen ones, the only ponies that can give him the tools to save humanity and himself.”

In the background, Poh grunting was getting louder and louder as a sign of her impatience.

“... So, can I haz cookies?” quietly said Poh as she was looking in Fluttershy direction.

“No...”

Author's Note

Jon A.K.A Jesuislaporte
Happy New Year, motherfuckas!
Man, what a wild ride. It's been so long since we last worked on this and I believe we haven't lost our touch of complete and utter stupidity. I've been thinking since the start of the holidays about resuming this story simply because it's the funniest shit ever (for us, mind you). I'm glad I finally followed through and got my friend and I to make this chapter. This time, we have more than sex to offer, we have defenestration, Hitman Dogs, Pussy fingering, Xanax poisoning and for the next chapter, double blackmailing. Hope you like the diversity of funky stuff, because we're ending up in debauchery next chapter, when we'll open our business. Know that it won't be a typical business...

Eugene A.K.A Average Fluttershy Enjoyer (check him out on YouTube) https://www.youtube.com/@bingusvladimirpingas3186/videos
Not gonna lie, that was a long time since we last worked on this story. But when Jon talked about it again, I did not hesitate. It was also an extremely fun chapter to write. Let's say that my character is really annoying and I should probably censor myself sometimes. A love hate situation you could say. But I supposed that karma has been delivered thanks to the waiter. So, I hope you won't take this story too seriously as we really don't take anything seriously in the writing room.
By the way, The Rock was observing us while we were writing all of this. It's oppressive and keeps us tethered to reality.
Et aussi, je vous aime, putain! - Les Tutos Camille