Friendly Competition

by JeSuisLaPorte

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Self Insert, Fluttershy, Adventure, Sex, Profanity, Cheerilee, Diamond Tiara, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human
Length: 48890

Two best friends, a whole new world, new bodies, nowhere to go. They have nothing but their pony fantasies to carry on. This is going to be good.

Jon and Eugene, two lifelong friends since childhood both share a love for My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. One day, as they were watching an episode, something strange happened. Discord broke the fourth wall, but not in the expected way.

Now, they are stuck in another world. They are not the same age, not the same gender anymore, nor are their bodies even human.

A terrifying situation. Lost in the woods all by themselves, without anything to tether them to their previous life. But, they do have one thing; fantasies. And now, the means to act upon them.

It will be a friendly competition, to see who can earn Fluttershy's adoration.

Sex tag is for some of our more questionnable remarks. We don't know if this story will ever get bumped up to mature. We only have a vague idea of how things will play out.

This story is a collaboration between me and my best friend who wishes to remain Anonymous. (Holy shit, the real Anon?). It was my idea to write this together, so expect it to be different from my usual stuff. I just never thought we'd actually do it, so... here goes.

Note: Wow, can't believe we're on the featured list. I was honestly not expecting a good reception, considering the bizarre shit in this story.
Eugene (The Fluttershy Enjoyer) Note: What the fuck is wrong with y'all?
Also, it's not dead anymore. We're coming back and coming out swinging.

Published 2024-02-14 16:10:00 UTC
Last updated 2025-01-31 23:09:58 UTC

1. Oh nyo! We're fillies now!

Life can be strange sometimes. It can be filled with ups and downs. Some people win the lottery, others make breakthrough in science or medicine. But for two particularly autistic persons, life can be a dream. A bizarre dream they didn’t actually want to happen but can make the most of it.

Two great friends since middle school gathered to watch another episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. It became a sort of tradition to watch a couple of episodes together at night and poke fun at what they saw. They were currently at the second episode of season two, and were loving every minute of it, though they had a tendency to be quite... crude in their comments.

They were so open to this subject that they talked multiple times about the many erotic dreams and fantasies they had about the show and more specifically, the main leads. One adored Fluttershy and the other, Applejack.

“Hey Eugene, what would do if you, like, went to a subway station and saw this really shady guy that told you to go inside the men’s bathroom for a lifechanging experience. So you go inside the bathroom, and you find Fluttershy, tied up and gagged inside one of the stalls. What would you do?” The other friend, Jon asked. It was a normal occurrence to get into these rather bizarre hypotheticals. He loved to spice things up, even if he sometimes tried too hard to make one of the options seem more favorable than the other. The fun lied in the insane scenarios he could conjure from the gutters of his mind.

His friend laughed as he imagined the scenario play in his head. “Jackpot.” Eugene responded with a grin.

“So, you choose the Quagmire option?” Jon followed, unsurprised. “Okay, but what if you can choose to free her. And if you free her, she will marry you. What would you do?”

“I’d still drug her and put her inside a cage. That way, she will be mine forever. No witnesses, easy pocket mare pussy.” Eugene confidently answered, much to the silent horror of his friend.

"O-Oh, okay..."

But then, something strange happened in the episode. Discord stopped taunting Twilight Sparkle. Instead, he flew over to the camera and stared directly at whoever was watching. It wasn’t in the episode; Jon knew that for it wasn't his first time watching unlike his friend. He was the My Little Pony expert, and he certainly knew that Discord wasn’t about to break the fourth wall like this.

The Lord of Chaos tapped the screen, smirking. “There isn’t enough chaos around here. Thankfully, I already know the remedy to this problem. You see, Twilight, things are about to get even weirder in Ponyville.” He stuck his arm out. They broke from the confines of the televisions and grabbed a hold of the two friends. With one mighty pull, the two humans were transported inside the screen, into another world.

Swinging around an endless vortex of madness, they felt an excruciating pain, a pain strong enough to knock them unconscious.

"Have you heard of homo-sapiens, Twilight? Oh, what am I saying; of course you don't."

When Jon and Eugene woke up, they were laying on the ground inside the Everfree forest. To make matters worse, their bodies didn’t feel quite right. They couldn’t feel their fingers, nor could they get up. The trees around them were gigantic, towering over their seemingly tiny frames.

Horribly confused, Jon looked to his friend. But all he saw instead of his best friend was a pony. A small, green pony with a black mane.

Eugene stood up only to fall on his butt. His body didn’t want to stand up apparently. In fact, it felt weird just to stand on his legs, like there was an invisible wall constricting his body. Looking down, he realised he had no fingers anymore, but it didn’t hurt. He didn’t lose them through normal means, no. His body was no longer the same. Falling on his back, he looked down and saw something else in place of his pride and joy.

“Holy shit, it looks like I have 4 legs, a-and a pussy!" He screamed as he touched his new private area. "What the fuck is going on Jon? Where the fuck are we?” He said in a voice that wasn’t his. It was high and squeaky. The voice of a little girl, not of the admittedly not so manly man he once was.

“Wha-how, h-how the fuck should I know?!” Jon shouted in disbelief, staring at his new hooves. Even his voice was different, sounding similar but slightly different to his friend. “This isn’t right! Are we dreaming?”

Eugene had an idea to test if this strange happening was a reality, or the mere work of their imagination. "Wait, I think I have an idea! Punch me in the face, like hard, man! It will surely wake me up. Just try using those ... uh, hooves?”

Jon stared at his hooves, raising an eyebrow. How was he supposed to hit his friend in the face when he can’t even stand up? The best thing he could do was crawl pathetically over to him, readying his fingerless fist. “I don’t know, looks real to me, but I’m gonna punch you just in case it works out.” There wasn’t much conviction in his squeaky little bitchy voice.

So, Jon raised his hoof, weirded out by the fact he couldn’t close his fingers to form a fist, and struck. But during the blow, the new balance of his body got the better of him and he fell, his hoof landing not on his friend’s face but on his new “delicacy”.

Eugene’s pussy made a wet sound as it was struck. “Hmpf. What the fuck was that dude? I said in the face! Do you know the difference, or are you that much of a virgin?” He shouted, his face turning as red as a tomato.

Jon blinked in horror. He touched his friend on the private area! To make things weirder, he blushed. He shouldn’t be feeling this, yet it would appear his sexual orientation remained unchanged even after the gender change. But what about Eugene? He didn't really want to know. “I-I’m sorry. I was aiming for your face. Just, uh, t-tripped while I was going for the swing. Not! That it matters anyway, we’ve got a bigger problem.” He waved his hooves around his body.

“Ok, I guess. But let's that keep it between us, ok? Alright, let's head out. Maybe there is surely someone to help us out?” Eugene proposed, looking around the dark forest. Things were looking rather grim for the two former humans. The entire world had impossible geometry. Hills twisted into a loop that defied gravity itself. Chocolate milk rained from the sky and the leaves were made of cotton candy.

Jon cringed as he looked at his now defiled hoof. “I mean I guess, but I suppose people would be more worried about the fucked up Green Hills looking loops and the chocolate rain.” Trying out his new pony body, he noticed he had wings too. He was more than a pony, he was a pegasus! And the fact that they are small and have squeaky voices would make them... fillies instead of mares? Different gender and different age, they were both far removed from their true selves. The complete opposite even! All that remained of their human origin was their mind.

Eugene eyeballed his friend’s new wings, green with jealousy. “Hey, why do I have nothing special about me? I mean, you have wings and shit and I'm kinda just ... Cringe.”

Jon’s eyes widened as he begun to understand the gravity of their situation. Pegasus, filly, chaotic environnement, passing through the television. Could it be that they have entered... the world of Equestria during the season 2 premiere? But that’s impossible! It’s just a cartoon, an invention. How could they be? What’s going on? “Holy shit, dude. I-I think... we ARE in My Little Pony.”

Eugene gasped, excitement coursing through his body. “No way! That so cool dude. I’ll Shotgun Fluttershy’s house. Only when I will figure out how to walk.” All these months of listening to his friend’s hypotheticals got him riled up at the mere thought of acting upon them.

Jon sighed. “C’mon, what about literally everything else? We’ve lost our families, our homes, our computers and all you care about is having f-fucking sex with Fluttershy? You don’t even have a dick anymore! Plus, you’re a filly, how are you going to get her attention?”

Eugene smirked. Tapping his head mockingly, he stared at his friend with a look that screamed victory in advance. “Oh, yeah, you’re right. But that doesn’t mean that my love isn’t worth it in a different body. My mentality stays the same. Just living with her would be a blessing, bro. Don’t you understand? That the meaning of my life. And basically, as an adult in a child’s body, if she loves me, it’s okay right?”

Jon cringed. Not sure if he wanted to have this debate right now. Yet, he was the one that always talked about these ponies in a dirty way. Maybe there are some positives to this situation. If he focused on them like his friend, maybe the pain won’t manifest. “Sure... I guess we can go to Fluttershy. We pretty much need some help, like, badly. We can’t walk for shit and we’re practically disabled.”

“Ok, here we go. Hum ... Where's her house actually? I don’t really seem to recognize where we are.” Eugene asked as he looked around the chocolate milk filled forest.

Jon raised an eyebrow, gazing behind. There was an upside-down house floating in the air among other distortions in reality. He sighed, “Seems obvious to me.” But before they could move, Jon licked some of the chocolate milk. Gotta take advantage of all that chaos, right?

And so, the two crawled in direction of the house. Little by little, they learned to trot as a filly. It was like crawling on all four but with extra steps. The chaotic magic in the air seemed to have chased the danger of the Everfree away for there were no monsters around. No manticore, no Timberwolf, nothing. They were lucky after all!

Then, a large rainbow appeared in the air, striking the earth with impressive force. Immediately after, all the chaotic magic around disappeared as the rainbow spread to every corner of this new world. The forest was back to normal and thus, dark again. "Oh shit, I think the episode's over. Discord's fucking gone." Jon theorised. Thankfully, they didn’t have much distance left to travel.

An hour later, they found what they were looking for. Fluttershy’s cottage! Eugene smirked as he laid his eyes upon the timid mare heading home. “*breath in* ... Ok, I got this.” He knocked on the door in a hesitant and febrile way.

Jon rolled his eyes. What is he expecting will happen? Get a date? Nah, it's straight to the orphanage for us.

The door opened, revealing a tired Fluttershy. The gentle mare looked down at the small filly at her doorstep, mildly confused at the little thing that was staring at her with so much... admiration in her eyes? “U-Um, h-hello? How can I help you?”

“Hey yo what up!” His eyes widened as he realised how wrong he sounded with his new voice. “Oh wait... Hum hello?” Eugene said in a cutesy, girlish way. “We are new to the city, and we need some help. You see we are kinda... lost.” Eugene said with a timid laugh.

Jon awkwardly waddled up to his friend and stuck to him like glue, smiling innocently. “We were lost in the scary Everfree forest and we’re hungry. Can you give us something to eat?”

Eugene whispered. “Yeah, like Fluttershy’s ass.”

Fluttershy looked around nervously. “Oh, gosh, um, wh-where are your parents?”

Eugene was quick to answer. “Well, you see, they said they were going to purchase some milks at the nearby convenience store, and they never came back.”

Jon blinked, his eyes wide open. Why was he throwing shade at his own parents? He had no reasons to, yet he did. “W-Well, mine were, um, n-no they just disappeared one day when they were going to Manehattan. They didn’t abandon me, though, unlike him. Her.”

“Actually, my dog ate mine.” For that alone, Eugene was slapped across the face by his dear friend.

“Pardon my friend. He’s a compulsive liar, and an idiot too. Can’t keep a consistent narrative.” Jon glowered.

The poor mare was bombarded with all sorts of questions. Horrified and worried for these poor girls, she stepped back and opened her door. “Oh dear, you poor things. Come in, I’ll make sure you’re all nice and well. Oh, the Everfree forest is a really scary place, you two must be tired.”

“Oh, thank you so much Fluttershy, you’re the kindest pony ever! We are so grateful of your hospitality.” Eugene exclaimed happily, shaking with sheer excitement.

The kind mare was a little disturbed, that filly already knew her name!

Jon smiled warmly, aiming to calm her down. “You’re so nice, miss! Can we stay with you?”

Fluttershy blinked, thinking about the filly’s question. She wasn’t sure if she was okay with letting them stay, but if it was just for a couple of hours, until they get back their strength... “Um, okay. You look like you could use some rest.”

The two transformed humans followed the mare in. The cottage was nice and cozy, but most importantly filled with all sorts of animals. Ranging from bunnies to squirrels to even a bear. “Okay, my little critters. Make some space for our guests. They’re really tired. I mean, if that’s okay with you.”

The animals begrudgingly left their comfortable seats for the two awkward mentally challenged fillies. They trotted strangely, unsure in their moves as they sloppily crawled over to the couch.

Jon took a deep breath of relief, happy to be away from the grass. He hated to stand on any grassy ground without shoes on. Even worse when he had his arms touching the ground too. “Finally, we can relax. Uh, and thanks, miss.”

Eugene tapped his friend on the shoulder, a sly smile drawing upon his now adorable face. “Hey, dog, distract her for a second. I’m going to enjoy this...”

“Okay, Fluttershy enjoyer.“ Jon facehoofed, immediately sensing a disaster in the making. “Um, hey miss? Can you get us something to drink? We’re fucking thirsty! I mean, if that’s okay with you.”

“... I mean, that’s okay with me.”

Jon sighed. “It’s okay with her.”

Eugene smiled. “It’s okay with her? No shit, Sherlock.” His friend facehoofed.

Fluttershy’s eye twitched. These fillies sure had an awful potty mouth. Maybe she can help with that. “I’ll be right back!”

As the kind mare left to fetch two glasses of water, Eugene smushed his face in the couch with grace to breath in its odor that maybe contained the sweet and delicious praise he was seeking. Fluttershy’s butt, of course!

“Hm. Good shit. I’m sad the sudden teleportation didn’t transport our cellphones, because that’s a great point of view.” Eugene remarked as he looked at the distracted mare.

Curious, Jon followed his eyes only to notice that because of their short sight, they had a clear view of the mare’s rear end as she left the living room. “I... I’m not gonna complain, actually.”

“Here we go, sleepy heads!” Fluttershy gave a bright smile as she offered the two fillies their much-needed glass of water.

Jon and Eugene struggled at first to drink their cup. They raised their arm towards the drink, only to remember “Oh yeah, no fingers”. They awkwardly wrapped their fetlock around the glass and drank it in record time as it made a somewhat disgusting glurp sound.

“Thank you, mommy. O-o wait, um...” Eugene immediately regretted letting his subconscious get the best of him. As the blush got more and more intense in his pony looking face, he looked away out of shame.

Jon was not spared from this second-hand embarrassment, facehoofing to hide his own blush.

“Oh, um... d-do you know where your mommy is?” Fluttershy asked after taking in the filly’s strange misstep.

Jon blinked. “Actually, we’re not related. Two different mommies.” He cringed internally at the idea of saying mommy after the bizarre connotation his friend put on the word.

Fluttershy held a hoof to her mouth. “Oh my. Well, if you know where they are, I’ll help you reunite with them.”

Eugene thought deeply before talking in the most cutesy, childlike voice possible. “Oh, thank you so much, m’lady. Can I sleep with you? I’m feeling scared alone in the dark... and Jon is stinky. P-wease?”

“Hey! I’m not stin...” Jon’s eyes widened as he realised two could play at that game. He chuckled, putting on a sad voice. “Me too. I don’t like sleeping alone...” He reached out to her, a desperate look on his face.

“Hey! I was the first to say it. Don’t you know the rule of the shotgun? I basically own her bed, dawg. Finders keepers!”

“You can’t shotgun it! That can only be decided with rock, paper, scissors- oh shit...”

The fierce competition between the two fillies aroused some concerning questions. Fluttershy’s eyes darted from one filly to the other as they continued their banter. “Now, now, girls. I’ll let you both sleep in my bed, okay? It’ll be just for tonight and tomorrow, we’ll go looking for your parents.”

“Yippee!” The two fillies shouted out of excitement, hoof bumping. They had achieved the ultimate victory for now, to sleep with Fluttershy. But they could still do more. In due time, they know they can go farther than that.

When night came, the two fillies tucked inside Fluttershy’s bed. The kind mare stayed on the middle, so that her warmth could spread to each of the girls. It made her nervous, having to watch over two foals, but to know that it would be temporary eased her worries.

Little did she know, they were imps disguised as innocent fillies, for Eugene snuck under the blankets when she was asleep. He inched lower and lower until he saw it. A divine sight in the dark, the moon shining just enough light for him to see what he had always wanted to see up close; his favorite pony’s pretty pussy. Sadly, he couldn’t let go of his virginity today. Not with this tiny squeaky body, at least.

Then, a little shape poked out from the other side. Eugene saw his friend looking at him with curious eyes. In that very moment, the two realised they had the same idea. Jon blinked, trying to get a good view of the other side without waking up the mare. “Mind if we, um, switch place? Pwease? You have the money shot, pal.”

“No way man. Perhaps in another time, my guy.”

During the night, at Canterlot's castle's garden, a new decoration appeared that day. A mighty stone statue of a frightened draconequus. The Lord of Chaos himself, Discord, defeated at the hooves of Equestria's newest heroes. His chaos magic was gone for good this time. With the country now in harmony, there was no way he could thaw himself out again.

"So, that terrible jokester finally got what was coming to him." A guard uttered to his comrade, poking at the statue with his spear.

"Careful now, we don't want to break him out by accident." His friend warned.

"Pff, like that's ever going to happen! Discord's done for! That statue is never going to break."

Unbeknownst to them, the statue moved, barely. A movement so small, it was imperceptible. Fate defied, a sinister chuckle came from within the stone. The loser gets the last laugh.

Author's Note

Jesuislaporte A.K.A The Applejack enjoyer
Okay so... this story is very much unlike anything else I've written. One day, I asked my best friend what he would do if we suddenly turned into Anon fillies. I joked about writing that idea with him and he was totally on board. Thus, this is a collaboration between me and my best friend (Eugene, not our real names, obviously). He wrote all his dialogues, some of Fluttershy's and some of the narration while I did the rest. Updates should be slow, but it doesn't matter. We're having fun writing this so, that's all that matters in the end, ay?

Anonymous Eugene A.K.A My Fluttershy enjoying friend
Effectively, it is fun to write a story with somebody else, but this one is fucking cursed. And I can't take this story too seriously. I mean, I have a hard time deciding if I should take this seriously or not. Put my actual thoughts in it. So, for those who didn't like my story, I promise you're going to get fucked well. There are no after-sales services. - Les Tutos DVD
Je vous aime, putain!

8. What the hay? We need to find dah gauntlet!

It was a late Friday night, Jon returned to the living room with a bowl of popcorn. Eugene was already there, waiting for him before the TV. Their marathon of My Little Pony was about to resume after a long, long bathroom break. It felt like they spent days inside the bathroom but at long last, they can continue forward.

“What took you so long? The show is about to start God darn it!” Eugene shouted, stuffing his face full of popcorn.

“Dude, it’s not my fault I had diarrhea! I was squirting out shit like I was fucking Squirtle or something, man! My stomach still hurts, by the way.” Jon glowered, walking awkwardly to the couch.

“Dude, who fucking cares, I haven’t taken a shower in years, It wouldn’t make any difference anyway. Now sit down and shut the fuck up!”

Jon begrudgingly sat next to his friend, feeling his ass still wet. The next episode started. It was the third episode of the second season. But, already something was odd about it. Maybe it was the fact that Discord was somehow in it despite being already turned to stone, maybe.

“Hold on, weren’t we at episode 3? This is episode 2... I think. I mean, I don’t remember any of this.” Jon said, confused.

“Yeah, haven’t we listened to this episode already? Just skip it, maybe the next episode will make us remember where we left off.” Eugene suggested.

Jon reached out to grab the remote lying on the table before him. But just as he was about to pick it up, Discord’s hand shot out the television and snatched it before Jon’s bewildered eyes, accidentally rubbing Eugene’s genitals in the process.

“It’s like ... My first sexual experience ever and by a fucking fictional character. I want to kill myself dude.” Eugene sadly realized, seeing his pride hardening like stone under his pants.

Jon pissed himself and nearly fell off the couch. “Dude, what the fuck?!”

Discord chuckled as he dangled the remote inside the screen, now a part of Equestria. He squished it, turning the inanimate object into an iron gauntlet. “Forgotten already? None of this is real. I mean, I certainly hope it isn’t real, there’s practically nothing going on in your mundane, useless lives. That’s why I added a bit of... spices to the mix, without your permission of course. Remember this object?” The god of chaos pointed at the iron gauntlet.

“So does that mean my recent sexual experience wasn’t even real? No need to cut it deeper dude ... But wait a moment, if you’re the element of chaos and you can create everything you want, why wouldn’t you just do it yourself? Why the fuck do you need us, fucking loser!?” Eugene exclaimed, oozing with rage.

Discord sighed. “Oh, you hairless monkeys, always with the why and the how. I can’t do it myself, because I am encased in stone. Why, I’m surprised you didn’t figure that one out seeing as you regularly touch yourself to pictures of Fluttershy. I cannot reach that iron gauntlet myself, and I didn’t have enough time to get it back from Celestia, which is where you come in. You have all the help you need after all. Do it for the Great One as your dear new friend says.”

“You said it yourself, my brain is now mostly sperm dude, I do not think with my intellect, I’m more like a meat shower if you know what I mean.”

Jon’s eyes widened. “Hey, hold on. Eugene, aren’t we supposed to be like, fillies?”

“Oh, shit yeah!”

Discord smirked as he snapped his finger. “Get with the program, girls.”

Bo Peep opened her eyes, lost and confused. All she saw was a bright blue ceiling and massive pastel-colored pillars above her. She blinked many times, but the view didn’t change. Getting up, she realized she was currently in a fancy restaurant with Fluttershy, Jean-Augustin and of course, her friend Poh. Speaking of her friend, she seemed just as lost and confused as her.

Poh opened her eyes, only to realize she couldn’t see anything, panicking she quickly realized she was currently choking in a weird and warm substance. Putting her face out of it, she soon noticed she was sleeping in a bowl of soup. With an awkward smirk she looked to Fluttershy and Augustin for some answers. All she was met with were worried and weirded out looks.

“What the fu- hay, what the hay happened?” Bo Peep asked, looking at Fluttershy with distrust. “Last time I checked, I don’t pass out in a bowl of soup just because.”

“I-I’m sorry my sweet little angels, you just looked particularly traumatized by the ... let’s say recent event. Augustin and I decided to give both of you some medicinal herbs to calm your anxiety. Poor little fillies, you were shaking like a leaf.” Fluttershy, explained.

Bo Peep blinked. “Medicinal herbs? Uh, okay. What kind of herbs?”

“It was chamomile. It helps greatly with anxiety and relaxation. See, I asked for some tea for you two and I put some chamomile in there, but, um, I didn’t expect you two to pass out.” Fluttershy frowned. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know it wouldn’t bring you any good. It usually helps in my case.”

“Ok, hear me out, I’ve been drinking tea for like five years and I can say without hesitation that she spiked your fucking drink with something.” Poh whispered to Bo.

“What? But that only happened in your dream. The real Fluttershy wouldn’t...” Bo Peep looked at the mare. Seemed innocent enough, but just as she looked over to Jean-Augustin, the pegasus filly noticed a bottle next to him. A bottle of Xanax. Her entire body tensed with anger and indignation. “That motherfucker is not real! He spiked our drink with Xanax!”

Jean-Augustin's happy innocent expression turned to worry as he knocked the bottle away. “No, I wouldn’t bring any harm to those who act in the almighty’s name.”

Poh furrowed her brows. “The fuck are you doing, you swine? Are you the Heisenberg of Ponyville? How can you even make this shit? I’m pretty sure the ingredient is more artificial than Diamond Tiara confidence”

Bo Peep facehoofed. “Oh, and how are you in a restaurant in Canterlot? Aren’t pets not allowed in such fancy places?”

Jean-Augustin's eyes widened. He looked around worried, dropping on all four like an average dog, realizing he was in a public space. The recent event with the kidnappers made him almost forget he was supposed to be just a normal dog. Just then, a waiter walked to the table with a mega pint of wine and immediately eyeballed the canine. He was the standard fancy type, wearing a black suit to contrast with his light blue fur, a twirled-up mustache and well combed smooth dark blue hair.

“Animals aren’t allow-”

Without skipping a beat, the archangel jumped through the window and ran off, much to everyone’s surprise for they were on the second floor.

“Jean-Augustin! Careful, you can cut yourself on... oh.” Fluttershy muttered hopelessly.

“... Is the cost of the repair going to be on the receipt?” Poh anxiously asked to the waiter.

The waiter was understandably furious. Viciously staring down the filly, he wrote something on a receipt, slammed it down on the table and gave a cut and dry answer. “You break it, you pay for it.”

Bo’s brows furrowed. Of course, her friend’s shenanigans would get her in trouble too. Not on her watch! She was going to get back at him, prove she’s got a backbone. Peeved, Bo Peep feigned disgust and pushed her bowl of soup away. “Blergh! This soup is dis-gus-ting! Can’t believe you ponies can mess something that simple up!”

Angry, the waiter stared at the filly with upmost repulsion. How dared she insult the finest cuisine in all Equestria? “Complete and utter baloney! Our soup is among the best in all Equestria. You can’t stuff us with the bill for we have standards and a reputation to uphold. Nopony would believe you.”

Without missing a bit, Poh jump on the table and grab two slice of bread and sticking on both sides of the waiter ears. “What the fuck are you? You’re a stupid sandwich. Just taste the soup and tell me if your life still worth, you rich and disgusting little swi-”

The waiter threw Poh out another window with magic.

“SCREW YOU FUCKING RASCAaaal!”

Fluttershy gasped in horror. She jumped off her seat and ran outside. “Poh, oh my gosh! Are you okay?!”

“Ayo what?!” Bo screamed.

Outside, Jean-Augustin sprinted back to the injured filly. “Oh, shit. She’s not breathing! I’ll have to do a mouth-to-mouth.” Licking his mouth, he leaned closer to the downed filly, puckering his lips.

The angelic canine reach to the unconscious body of Poh and started to vigorously do some tongue sucking, licking the inside of her mouth in front of all the horrified passersby.

Paralyze by the pure horrific imagery of the scene, Poh quickly started to punch Jean-Augustin in the face with her hooves with difficulties. “GET HIM OUT OF MY MOUTH, GET IT OUT!” Poh screamed at the top of her lungs.

Jean-Augustin smiled and licked the filly’s face like a normal dog. “It worked. My knowledge in resuscitation brought back the almighty’s aid. Now, we must return to-”

“Poh, are you hurt?!” Fluttershy cried out, arriving at the scene. She was horrified to see all the broken shards of glass on the floor, mixed with blood, the blood of the poor earth pony.

Stunted, Poh violently then vomit the remaining of her meal on the floor and start shaking uncontrollably on the floor. “Is my first real sexual experience being raped by a dog? What is the point of my life?” The now traumatized filly realized.

The kind pegasus picked the filly up. “D-Don’t move! I’ll take you to a hospital.” But first, she needed to get the other filly and leave before things get any worse. She was still inside with that psycho waiter!

“ ...O-okay mummy...”

Inside the restaurant, Bo Peep furiously slammed her hooves on the table. “Don’t believe me! Taste it! I tell you, this stuff is so bad, it’s dangerous just to sniff it!”

The waiter hissed, trotting close to the daring filly. “Oh, so you have a death wish, haven’t you? Don’t expect to come out unscathed after making a scene like that.” Afterward, he lifted a spoon and took a sip of the spoon.

In a matter of seconds, he crumbled to the floor, overdosing on Xanax.

“I’m stuffing you with the bill, bitch. Do something about it now.” Bo gloated, flipping the unconscious waiter off with her wings.

Pissing blood out of her hooves, Poh slowly reached to the now still body of the waiter after dropping out of Fluttershy’s worried embrace. She then violently kicked him in the nuts and spat on his face. “Fucking capitalist.” Then, Poh took her last breath and fell unconscious on the floor.

“I th- shit.” Jean-Augustin started before abruptly cutting himself off when he realized the problem.

Everypony in the restaurant were eyeballing the group with fear and apprehension. The atmosphere was dead silent, except for the occasional coughs. All eyes were on them and have been on them for the past five minutes. It was getting really embarrassing just to stay here, especially for poor Fluttershy. Everywhere they go, chaos and fear ensued.

Tired, Bo Peep handed the pegasus the bottle of Xanax. “Here, I believe you’ll need it more than we do. So, chill out, pop a Xanax.”

After a short trip to the hospital to get Poh some bandages for her wound, the group made the final stop before Canterlot’s great and mighty castle. The tallest and most majestic infrastructure in the capital of Equestria. It was big, it was beautiful, it was heavily guarded and home to the country’s most powerful artefacts. Somewhere inside, the legendary iron gauntlet was inside. The powerful artefact the two fillies needed to retrieve for Discord’s sake, then maybe he can help them with their current imprisonment. And also, maybe do something about their age, just so they... get it on with a very mature and reserved mare, let’s just say.

“Dude, we are inside, this is perfect, let’s go infiltrate the building and take the legendary iron gauntlet for ourselves. With a cute face and a body like that I’m sure the guards won’t be a problem!” Poh whispered to her comrade and give her nudge to her shoulder.

“I don’t think whoring ourselves out is going to work. We’re not going to a church, mind you.” Bo Peep said, uncertain.

“I didn’t say that ... Oh wait! I’ve got an idea, just break my other hoofs and when the guards will be all around me, just sneak out behind them and take the gauntlet!” Poh proposed.

“Goodness, no!” Fluttershy objected. “You’re already badly hurt, I won’t let you do something so reckless.”

“So ... you care less about a legendary artefact that could potentially destroy all the world and more about one filly you know for about let say ... 3 days? That’s cute. Thanks mommy!” Poh exclaimed.

“Oh, um, th-thanks?”

Bo’s jaw dropped as she looked to her right. “Guys, l-look!”

In the distance, the three ponies saw Jean-Augustin sneak up behind a guard. The archangel lunged at him and placed him in a chokehold, dragging the heavily armored guard into a bush. The bush trashed around a lot for a few seconds, then stopped. A little while later, Jean-Augustin came out, dressed in the guard’s armor.

“Nobod- Nopony’s going to buy that, Jean-Augustin!” Bo Peep said. “This isn’t Hitman we’re playing, this is reality... sort of.”

“Useless!” Jean-Augustin glowered as he threw the armor into the bush, hitting the unconscious guard.

“I-Is he going to be okay?” Fluttershy asked nervously.

“Rest assured, it is not my intention to take anypony’s life on this holy mission. I am merely your aid.” Jean-Augustin promised.

“So ... what’s our duties of care in the situation? I know I proposed to break my right hoof, but I wasn’t for real, you now.” Poh shared with the group.

Fluttershy cleared her throat. She was the most knowledgeable in the group when it came to Canterlot Castle. She visited that place a few times, but only the main hall and the garden during the Grand Galloping Gala. Still, it was better than nothing. “I believe it will be easier if we just... ask Princess Celestia about the gauntlet, right?”

Bo Peep frowned. “I mean, it makes sense. We can always ask nicely. Doesn’t make for a cool mission, but...”

“I-I-I think I'm gonna pass on this one, I’m pretty sure my speech stats are on the lowest, so I’ll give you the pass on that one. No fuc-hay you miss it more than me dude!” Poh politely denied and pushing her friend toward the remaining guard.

“Oh, uh hey there. We, um, want to speak with Princess Celestia.” Bo Peep started, smiling cutely as best as she could. “It’s very important.”

The guard raised an eyebrow. “I’ll see what I can do about it. The princess is very busy at the moment. But, pardon me for asking; have you seen my comrade? I could have sworn he was here a few minutes ago.”

“He’s been ... looted.” Poh firstly responded.

“He’s sleeping naked in a bush.” Bo deadpanned.

Jean-Augustin stared the two fillies down with a look that screamed “Shut the fuck up!” He then violently slaps the two fillies on the butt cheek for a quick respect reminder.

“... I’m sorry for that presumption, but is your pet having anger issues?” The guard followed.

“N-N-No no no!” Fluttershy gasped. “He’s really, um, nice usually. He’s just a little grumpy because he doesn’t like long trips.”

“Oh, I see.”

The bush next to the guard shook a bit. “Hm? Is there somepony in there?”

“No, just the rabbits.” Bo Peep was quick to respond dismissively.

Jean-Augustin took advantage of the conversation and jumped in the bush, grabbed the body of the guard and snap his neck in a quick and clean manner, much to everypony’s shock and horror.

The other guard stared bewildered at the bush. “D-Did I just heard a neck being snapped?” He turned to the two fillies. Fluttershy was particularly horrified, looking as pale as her pet Angel.

“Why do you ask us that question? We are 6, how the fuck should we know!” Poh responded.

“Oh my gosh...” The pale mare muttered quietly.

Suddenly, Jean-Augustin jumped out of the bush and pulled the other guard in. The bush trashed around wildly yet again, and stopped all the same after a few seconds. The archangel stepped out of the bush on all four. “I have made a path for you, my comrades. Oh, and rest assured, I did not kill that guard. I merely handicapped him, he’s going to be stuck in a wheelchair for some months, but he’ll be fine.”

“The dude’s gonna look like Stephen Hawking in a couple of months” Poh quietly joked to herself.

“Okay, Agent 47.” Bo Peep sighed. “Let’s just get a move on. I’m getting tired of all this cra- stuff.”

Fluttershy trotted over to Jean-Augustin, greatly displeased. She used her greatest technique, the infamous stare. Just like magic, the archangel immediately appeared distressed and disappointed in himself. “Now, you listen here. I am tired of your reckless and violent actions! Stop hurting ponies left and right and stop causing damage to other ponies’ properties! You are not a child, you are a smart and intelligent archangel, so act like one!”

“Gawd, I wish I was in his place... Apart from that screaming stuff.” Poh quietly responded.

“Now, sit here and think about what you’ve done. We’ll come back once we have the gauntlet.” The Element of Kindness finished, trotting towards the interior.

Walking through the hall of stained windows was nice and easy. Since they had “permission” to be here, they were able to simply trot towards Princess Celestia’s room to ask for her help. She would then point them to the iron gauntlet, they can get it and thus, save humanity and Jean-Augustin's master.

Arriving at the great alicorn’s door, Fluttershy stopped. It was the first time she would come up to her without her friends and to ask for a strange iron gauntlet she knew little of no less. Jean-Augustin's story about Kim Jong-Un and a blacksmith was rather hard to understand. What did any of this had to do with her and these two fillies?

Well, not that it mattered right now. She was at Celestia’s door, might as well knock.

Knocking and waiting for some sort of reply, Fluttershy heard the quick shuffling of hooves behind the door and a lot of banging against furniture. It took an entire minute of these strange sounds until the door finally opened and Celestia came to greet her in all her sparkling wonder.

“My little ponies! What brings you here on this beautiful day?”

“Um, g-good afternoon, Princess Celestia. I’m terribly sorry to disturb you when you’re really busy, b-but I was wondering if you know anything about an iron gaunt-”

“Give us the iron gauntlet, you honky ass pony with stupid anorexic legs!” Poh furiously shouted.

The two other ponies froze, their eyes wide opened and their mouth agape.

“You can’t say that, you idiot!” Bo Peep shouted back.

“P-Poh! You can’t say that to Princess Celestia! That is extremely disrespectful!” Fluttershy puffed out on the verge of a heart attack.

“What? Isn’t that true that she has anorexic legs? My family told me to be honest to other pe-ponies!” Poh responded.

Princess Celestia, however, had not processed anything Poh said other than “Iron gauntlet”. How did she know about THE iron gauntlet? “I’m sorry, I don’t know anything about this particular iron gauntlet you seek. Best of luck in your search.” And with that, she closed the door on them.

“...What?”

So, walking back in the hall, all three were left confused. The response Celestia gave them reeked of lies, she seemed rather distressed about it all even. What was going on there?

“So, uh, mission failed, we’ll get ‘em next time. We, the, uh, chaotic and disorganised family.” Bo Peep bitterly announced to her found family.

“Firstly, this is cute of you for considering us as a family. Secondly, let’s just put our brain together, ok? The iron gauntlet is for sure the most powerful item in all Equestria. So, it is impossible for Celestia to have never heard about it. She is the ruler of this planet for crying out loud! Surely the legendary artefact is close to her on some level!” Poh argued.

“We gotta take a peek at her window.” Bo agreed. “Mommy, since you are the best at flying here, you should get up there and look. Surely Princess Celestia knows a thing or two that she hid from us! Pretty please!”

“Oh yes, mommy pwease! We are going to help you do the dishes and never swear again! We promise, right Bo? ... Right?” Poh excitedly exclaimed.

Fluttershy looked down. “I-I don’t know. It feels wrong to intrude on the princess’s privacy. I mean, I wouldn’t like for ponies to peek through my window.”

Looking up, Bo Peep lowered her eyebrows. “Kinda like this gu- colt?” She asked, pointing at a pegasus colt currently hovering before a window peering to Celestia’s bedroom.

“What?!” Fluttershy screamed.

The mysterious colt flew down before Fluttershy could get up there, heading towards the entrance.

“Quick! After him!” Bo shouted.

Chasing the colt, the dysfunctional found family returned to the entrance of the castle, only to be met with another bewildering sight. Dozens upon dozens of guards stripped of their armor, lying unconscious on the ground with Jean-Augustin patiently standing on his hind legs in the middle of the stairs, holding one of them by the neck. Seeing him from the back looked oddly menacing and hilarious all the same.

“You have returned, my new master. Have you recovered the iron gauntlet for my old and still current master?” The archangel asked calmly, paying no mind to the surrounding mess.

“I feel like I’m in a real bad session of Skyrim. I’m almost sure he’s gonna share to us that he got an arrow in the knee for fuck's sake.” Poh said to herself.

“Jean-Augustin! I thought you promised us you wouldn’t hurt anypony ever again!” Fluttershy scolded.

“Unless they are criminals. In which case, fuck them up for us, buddy.” Bo Peep added.

“Huh, didn’t you get into politics.” Poh commented.

Jean-Augustin frowned, tossing the unconscious guard aside. “My deepest apologies. I thought I was... No, you’re right, I do not deserve your kindness O great Element of Kindness. I must focus on bettering myself for the sake of the mission.”

Fluttershy was about to reprimand him further when the mysterious colt descended close to them. The three ponies and the dog rushed to him.

Bo Peep gasped. “Is that My Little Pony Season 2 character Featherweight?!”

“Why the hell would a minor creep in front of the princess Celestia window? ... Oh wait ... EUGH that’s fucking disgusting dude! At least ask her to go out for dinner!” Poh shouted.

Featherweight took out the photo from his camera. “Nice, I got it! Diamond Tiara is for sure going to like this one!”

“Hm? What’s on it?” Bo Peep asked, inching closer to the colt.

Featherweight pulled back, doing his best to hide the photo with his small wings. “Hey, no looking! Nopony’s supposed to view this picture yet! Wait until it’s published in the newspaper.”

Jean-Augustin's quick paws snatched the picture while the colt was distracted. In an instant, his face dropped from happy to traumatized. “In the name of the almighty, no...” Tears streamed down his face. “No-o-o...”

“W-What’s the matter?” Fluttershy asked concerned, gingerly holding the dog in her hooves. As she stared into the picture that shook her new dog, she found herself subject to the same traumatizing effect. “Goodness, no. I-I-I can’t believe it.”

“Is that worse than the time I came home to school, and I saw my mom dominating my dad with a 12-inch strapped dildo? ... O-o-o-h yeah that’s worse.” Poh exclaimed as she saw the unfortunate picture.

Bo Peep went on to gaze into the abyss of the photo next. “Oh my fucking god. Are you actually kidding me?”

With Poh as the last witness, the picture was now engraved in their minds for eternity.

Princess Celestia fingering her pussy with the legendary iron gauntlet.

“Praise the sun!” Poh exclaimed as she was reaching to the sky with both of her front hooves.

“Thy holy relic, tainted by white pussy...” Jean-Augustin muttered to himself in disbelief.

“C-Can you... let us have this picture? We’ll need it to borrow something important.” Bo Peep said as seriously as she could, feeling somewhat turned on by the photo. Her cheeks were growing redder by the seconds.

“I vouch fo- fuck.” Jean-Augustin gave up, realizing he was getting too comfortable showing his true nature.

Featherweight stared at the archangel, confused. “Did that dog just...”

“No, you’re just imagining thing. Can you give us the photo please? Or you’re like a fucking a npc from a bad RPG who’s gonna ask us a slice of bread and an iron dagger in return?” Poh responded.

“W-Well, I'm not sure. Diamond Tiara really insisted that I get a good, embarrassing picture of Princess Celestia. I don’t think she would allow me to give it to somepony else. O-Oh, but if you pay her in return, then maybe she will change her mind. Th-that's the only way I can make her agree with me on anything at all.”

“Have you noticed you’re outnumbered and your half the size of us? You’re not in position for exchange, loser!” Poh shouted.

Jean-Augustin smacked her in the back of the head. “The great Fluttershy demands no violence, thus you will not threaten anypony.”

“Dude, she didn’t even fly up to Princess Celestia's window. My promise is no more. I can swear and do shit as I want! Plus, it’s certainly not a dog that kicked his genital with a metal pipe that’s gonna teach me this lesson.”

Fluttershy gave the potty mouthed filly a disapproving stare.

Surprised, the young filly stopped her bad attitude. She quickly laid on the ground and stared down as she was quietly grunting out of disapprobation.

Bo Peep sighed. “Well, guess it’s up to us two to make some bits.”

“You girls?” Fluttershy asked. “Are you sure this is even a good idea anymore?”

Jean-Augustin nodded.

Bo Peep smirked. “Yeah, see. Poh and I will come up with something. We’ll, uh, make a new business and get loads a money! Then, we pay Diamond Bitchara, get the picture, force Celestia to give us the gauntlet and voila! Mission complete.”

Jean-Augustin stood up and took on an akimbo pose. “Indeed, this is trial by fire. You fillies must prove to the almighty that you are the chosen ones, the only ponies that can give him the tools to save humanity and himself.”

In the background, Poh grunting was getting louder and louder as a sign of her impatience.

“... So, can I haz cookies?” quietly said Poh as she was looking in Fluttershy direction.

“No...”

Author's Note

Jon A.K.A Jesuislaporte
Happy New Year, motherfuckas!
Man, what a wild ride. It's been so long since we last worked on this and I believe we haven't lost our touch of complete and utter stupidity. I've been thinking since the start of the holidays about resuming this story simply because it's the funniest shit ever (for us, mind you). I'm glad I finally followed through and got my friend and I to make this chapter. This time, we have more than sex to offer, we have defenestration, Hitman Dogs, Pussy fingering, Xanax poisoning and for the next chapter, double blackmailing. Hope you like the diversity of funky stuff, because we're ending up in debauchery next chapter, when we'll open our business. Know that it won't be a typical business...

Eugene A.K.A Average Fluttershy Enjoyer (check him out on YouTube) https://www.youtube.com/@bingusvladimirpingas3186/videos
Not gonna lie, that was a long time since we last worked on this story. But when Jon talked about it again, I did not hesitate. It was also an extremely fun chapter to write. Let's say that my character is really annoying and I should probably censor myself sometimes. A love hate situation you could say. But I supposed that karma has been delivered thanks to the waiter. So, I hope you won't take this story too seriously as we really don't take anything seriously in the writing room.
By the way, The Rock was observing us while we were writing all of this. It's oppressive and keeps us tethered to reality.
Et aussi, je vous aime, putain! - Les Tutos Camille

2. Oh mah gawd! We're in Ponyville!

Morning came, Fluttershy woke up early. Opening her eyes, she almost had a heart attack when she couldn’t see the two fillies in her bed. Panicking, she lowered the sheets and was met by two cute shapes cuddled against her rear end and crotch. “Aw, you were cold, weren’t you?”

The mare carefully navigated out of the bed without waking up the two fillies even though one was holding onto her crotch with impressive strength for a foal. “Oh my, you sure are clingy.” Fluttershy gingerly removed the hooves before she made her leave. The two ponies would surely be hungry once they woke up. She’ll take care of that.

Jon was the first to wake up. He was rather disturbed not to hear his alarm clock blasting as usual. It was... strange to wake up so peacefully and not have to go to work cleaning the McDonald’s shitters. Opening his eyes, he realised he was super close to his sleeping friend. Fluttershy had moved away! The tip of their muzzle was touching. Staring at his sleeping friend was weird but being this close to him; Jon had a cute idea.

Backing away, he raised a hoof and booped his friend on the muzzle. “I boops you!”

Eugene flinched, snapping back to reality thanks to his friend’s intervention. “What... Did you just booped me? Oh my god that’s like in the series! A dream comes true. Now, it’s my turn!”
as Eugene slowly approach his hoof in the direction of Jon’s muzzle but completely miss and poke his eyes instead. “I boops- oh shit.”

Startled by the pain, Jon rolled back and fell off the bed, landing on the ground with a loud thud. Just then, Fluttershy returned with a large plate in her hooves. “Morning, sleepy heads! I- Oh dear!” Placing the plate on the bed, she rushed to the downed filly who wasn’t moving one inch. “A-Are you okay?”

Eugene was hanging on the edge of the bed, worried. “He isn’t okay! Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I didn’t want to hurt Jon I swear, my hoof is just stupid like that.”

“I think he gouged my eye!” Jon cried out in his blind panic, clutching his hurt eye.

Fluttershy smiled gently. “Oh, I’m sure your eye is fine. Here, let me see.” she reassured, carefully pulling the filly’s hoof away. Her injured eye was a little red, but mostly fine.

“I-Is it?” Jon asked, struggling to maintain his eye open.

“Yes. It’s perfectly fine, my little filly.” She caressed the poor little thing, calming her down. “See? It was just an unfortunate accident, I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you fell.”

“Look, stop being a bitch dude.” Eugene shouted, sit in the near end of the bed, being jealous to not be the center of the attention of his dear and sweet favorite pony in Equestria. He wanted to be caressed by the best pony.

Jon glared. “You’re just jealous she isn’t paying attention to you! You just ruined your precious dream because you’re so damn clumsy!” The transformed human was surprised with himself. That was a childish response, petty in nature. Could it be that their new body is taking a toll on their mind?

Then, Eugene had a brilliant idea! He proceeded to simply beat the shit of himself. Thankfully, Fluttershy stopped him before he could cause any bad damage. “Now, now. I understand you’re all want me to take care of you, but that doesn’t mean you should hurt yourself, okay? I’ll help you both equally, so you’ll have no reasons to be jealous.”

At that the end of that sentence, Jon and Eugene stared intensely, knowing that a friendly competition between them had just begun. A battle for Fluttershy’s affection. Blood and cum are the name of the game.

“Anyhow, I prepared breakfast for you. After you’ve eaten, we’ll go find your parents. Oh, I can’t imagine how worried they must be. Um, I don’t want to feel like I’m pressing you, but we don’t want them to be scared, don’t we?” Fluttershy said as she placed the injured filly back on the bed, smiling awkwardly.

As none of the friends answered Fluttershy question, Jon tapped the shoulder of Eugene to provoke a reaction.

“Oh, hum yeah, sure!”

“Now then, a-um...” Fluttershy blinked. She wanted to call the one on the right by her name but... she didn’t know their name. In fact, she didn’t believe they even told her their names? “Oh dear, um, I believe I don’t know your names. Could you tell me, please?”

Eugene was quick to answer whilst Jon was thinking things through. “Indeed, you’re right! My name represents my magnificence and the perfection of my soul. They call me the great and powerful Euge-”

Jon slapped his friend, pulling him closer. “Come on, man. You know we can’t use our real names. They could suspect something or get all sorts of funny ideas about us. Think of something, just anything that passes as a pony name. I’m figuring one out right now.”

“Oh yeah, you’re right. My name is actually ... Poh.” Eugene responded with a soft voice.

“And he was trained by master Shifu.” Jon mused.

Fluttershy blinked, somewhat surprised by the right filly’s name, but she figured she was just from elsewhere. “Okay, and what about you?”

Jon panicked. He hasn’t figured out a name yet! Put on the spot, he looked at his body, searching for a defining feature he could name himself after. Nothing, not even a cutie mark. He was a blank flank. Oh, wait... “I-I’m Bo... I guess. N-No, wait! It’s Bo Peep.” He cringed internally, disappointed by his lack of foresight. Had he thought this through, he would have a name prepared in advance.

“Okay, hm. Bo Peep and Poh.” Fluttershy repeated to engrave their names in her mind. “Those are pretty names.”

As Jon was relieved that Fluttershy believed their admittedly poorly constructed lie, Eugene was trying his best to not choke out laughing, amused by the ridiculous name they gave themselves.

After this awkward moment, the two fillies finally ate the delicious breakfast prepared by the kind pegasus. Her cooking was top notch, and thankfully suited to their secretly omnivorous diet. Then, Fluttershy took them outside, as promised, to search for their parents, something the two small ponies knew in advance was a futile endeavor. The first place they went to was Mayor Mare’s office, a smart decision indeed.

“I’m afraid I don’t have any record on these fillies, Fluttershy. I’ve never seen them before.”

Fluttershy held a hoof to her mouth “Oh my, there are truly no ways to find their parents then?”

Mayor Mare cringed. “I’m afraid not. Unless we know where they came from, there’s not much use in searching around.”

Jon and Eugene exchanged concerned glances. “Oh yeah. They don’t know our parents aren’t inside a TV screen.” Jon said to his fillyfied friend.

Mayor Mare frowned. “Due to the absence of their parents, we could take them to an orphanage, if there are no volunteers to adopt these young fillies of course.”

Jon narrowed his eyes. Oh no, they weren’t going there! They had another option, one that seemed much more favorable. But to get there, they’ll need to appeal to Fluttershy’s emotions. “You go first, dude. Convince her to adopt us. C’mon, that’ll be like, your dream, to be adopted by Fluttershy, right?”

“Ok I got this. Hum, Fluttershy?” The kind mare turned her attention to the green filly she now knew as Poh. The small pony gave her the puppy eyes. “I know you did a lot recently by accepting to giving a place to eat and sleep for the night, but without you, we will have to live somewhere else, maybe on the streets. Is it much to ask you to adopt us? Please? We promise we will be helping you at your house and not being a nuisance at all. P-weeeeease?”

Jon awkwardly inched closer to his friend, giving an adorable look to the shy pegasus.

Mayor Mare raised an intrigued eyebrow. That filly sure seemed to have an interesting vocabulary, sounding much more mature than other ponies her age.

Fluttershy wanted to help them, but to take care of two fillies, even for a short amount of time is no easy feat. It’s much more demanding than tending to her animals, that she learned the hard way. But still, her goodwill wouldn’t allow these two parentless fillies to live in the streets or in an orphanage all by themselves. “Um, w-well... I guess I could foster them, maybe. U-Until you can find a good family that’ll take care of them.”

On the outside, Eugene looked fairly serene. But on the inside; he was screaming in joy.

Jon smirked, a subtle sign of a higher intelligence behind those cutesy eyes. “Oh, thank you miss Fluttershy! You’re the best!”

Mayor Mare fumbled through her desk, taking out a document. “That’s good! I’ll prepare the legal documents to cement you as their foster carer until we can find an appropriate family.”

With the initial problem of their not so present parents out of the way, little remained in the way of the two deceiving fillies. They could now stay with Fluttershy for days, perhaps even weeks. In a way, Eugene’s dream came true; he was living with the Element of kindness herself, albeit much being smaller than he wanted.

As Fluttershy signed the documents, the eyes of Eugene started to sparkle even more. At the second that she placed the pen, Eugene ran and hugged her neck, not willing to let her go, which seemed like an eternity.

“Oh my, you’re very affectionate!” Fluttershy glanced over Bo Peep who was observing them with great intent, but didn’t seem like he wanted to join.

As she finally got him off her neck, he was so excited that dancing was the only solution to expulse all the simp concentrated energy. However, Eugene’s new body came with many hiccups. He was a filly now, and with it came all the kinks of this small form. In no time, he burned through all his energy, leaving him very tired. He fell asleep on the floor of the mare’s office.

“Oh, shit.” Jon muttered, surprised to see his friend pass out that easily. Moreover, he was somewhat disturbed to find his sleeping friend adorable. It didn’t feel like he was staring at Eugene anymore. To him, she was Poh. And Jon was Bo Peep. Gah! It was confusing him, her. What’s his pronouns again?

Fluttershy guided Jon and the exhausted Eugene on her back along Ponyville, heading straight for the one place she knew they could fit in; the schoolhouse. Throughout the way, Jon made a conscious effort to keep his tail low, so that it would hide his lady parts. It just felt wrong to be walking out in broad daylight naked! In the show, they obviously didn’t have their private parts dangling around but here, it didn’t feel like they were in a little girl’s show anymore. This was reality, as hard to believe as that was.

“Now, fillies. It is very important that you do not miss out on your education. Today, we’re just visiting around but soon, you’ll have to go there and catch up with your class, okay?”

Jon frowned, feeling embarrassed to step inside a schoolyard. He felt way too old to be doing this. It was endearing at first to be treated as a little girl but now? It just felt humiliating and condescending. “Yeah, sure... Gonna learn about math. Woohoo.”

At that time, Eugene woke up from his nice little good and enchanting nap. Stretching, he stood on his rear, realising he was on Fluttershy’s back! Pulling back, he unintentionally placed more pressure on his newly acquired lady parts and felt a strange sensation, the likes of which a child shouldn’t be feeling. He blushed in response to this accidental vaginal rubbing, closing his legs awkwardly.

Jon widened his eyes. “You dirty little rugrat...”

Eugene regained his composure fairly quickly, hiding his blush behind his big hooves. “B-Bro, you can’t just except Fluttershy to do all the work. I’m only taking advantage of every part of her body one at a time baby.”

Jealousy reflected in Jon’s eyes. If only he could do that with the mare of his choice. “Is that how you plan on losing your virginity?”

“Hm?” Shit! Fluttershy heard that! “Did you, um, say something?”

“Oh, n-no. I was... talking to, eh, Eu-Poh.” Jon fumbled.

Eugene had a more eloquently prepared response. “No that’s not what you think mommy! We were only discussing about the chance of finding a boyfriend at the school we will be for the next days. That's one of my biggest dreams.”

“Boyfriend?” Fluttershy questioned.

“Coltfriend.” Jon corrected.

“Ah. I wasn’t expecting you two to already be thinking about that sort of thing. D-Don't take it the wrong way, it’s just that... not many fillies talk about finding coltfriend at such a young age.”

“So ... does that mean that the concept of “boy” doesn’t exist in Equestria?”

“Dumbass, are you mayhap on the spectrum, dear old friend?” Jon taunted with a smirk on his adorable filly face.

Fluttershy stepped, her voice remaining as soft as ever. “Now, now. Let’s not break into a fight. You’re about to meet your new classmates once they’ve finished their lesson! I know some of them and I can assure you; they’re really nice.”

Eugene gave Jon a very intense look. The gaze of a mighty simp. “And that’s where she’s wrong, my friend. I am indeed ready to go to war about the thing I do believe in. So don’t even dare touch any part of her body, she’s mine, bitch!” He exclaimed right before he went back to falling asleep on her back with a small happy and greedy look on his face.

“Oh dear... she’s terribly exhausted. The poor little thing.” Fluttershy gently placed the filly under a tree. “Here, Bo, could you be a dear and keep an eye on your friend while I go get some important things done? The other foals should be coming out soon. It will be very important to introduce yourself to them.”

Jon sighed. Yeah, sure. Leave all the work to me. He lightly kicked the sleeping filly. “That I can do.” Now left by his or her(?) lonesome, Jon glanced over Eugene, sleeping peacefully. The ex-human was annoyed his friend’s antics as of late. He was doing everything in his power to create some sort of competition between the two. A battle to seek Fluttershy’s attention, their new foster mother.

Lowering his gaze, Jon landed on something that startled him. In that position, Eugene’s new vagina was fully revealed. Being the good friend he was, he looked away, cringing at that sight. He never asked for that, to see his friend’s private parts. He looked so alien to him now, it was crazy to even remember yesterday. Gone were their penises, they now had to welcome their new “door” of sensual sensation for they were probably stuck with it for the rest of their ponified lives.

Jon decided to look down, where his new genitals lied. It was alien, worrying yet enticing all the same. He never knew what it was like to have a vagina. He couldn’t feel his missing penis anymore, this new control he had was weird and unintuitive. It was going to take a lot of time to adjust to this new body.

Out of curiosity, Jon lifted a hesitant hoof and gently poked at his vagina. To his surprise, it winked. He began prodding at it, curious to see how far he can go until he went a little too deep. That was when the ecstasy hit. A feeling that was all too familiar to him, so much so that it made him blush. A little worrying that he had to basically fist himself to get the same result, but at least, he could still do it. O-Okay, I’ll save that for later.

Next, he had another thing to play with; his wings. Through some intense concentration, he was finally able to move them, and flap them helplessly. Sadly, he couldn’t get off the ground. Oh great. I hope I don’t end up like Scootaloo, no offense to you, girl.

Looking back at Eugene, Jon was fed up with babysitting him and chose to wake his friend up in the least respectful way possible, with a slap on the pussy. “Snap back to reality.”

The poor guy woke up in sweat, no longer looking so serene. “Hum... Is there something you wanted to tell me? Oh, and for the next time, you know you can wake me up by tapping my shoulder. Not that alien oyster looking thing we call a pussy?”

“Nothing. Oh, and for the next time, you know you can just NOT fall asleep on me like that?” Jon glowered out of spite.

Eugene gave a sly smile. "You know I can’t do that. Our mother is so hot that she makes me faint. You can just go see another pussy if you can’t endure me.”

“The biggest pussy here is the virgin that can’t keep their shit together when they see a fucking vagina.” Jon barked, flicking his tail at his friend.

Eugene jerked back, startled by the sudden sight of his friend’s private parts. He wasn’t going to let him have the last laugh. “The biggest pussy here is someone who when a situation forced him to pull a name out of his ass, chooses fucking Bo Peep.”

“That’s the name of a Toy Story character. You chose to name yourself after a character portrayed by Jack Black. Who are you to judge my name?” Jon snarked.

"Any fucking way, I bet my left testicle that Poh would beat the shit out of your character.”

“Eesh, you can’t bet what you don’t have.”

Right during their argumentation, an unknown voice came from their backs. A whinny, annoying and mocking voice that could only belong to one little bastard.

“Look Silver Spoon, some new fillies in Ponyville. Oh, and it look like they don’t have any cutie mark. That’s. Sooo. Lame. What are you two cringe ponies doing anyway?”

Jon snorted, leaning close to his friend’s ear. “Oh hey look; it’s Diamond Bitchara.”

Diamond Tiara gasped, outraged by this sign of defiance. “Hum, excuse you? What did you just call me?”

Jon booped the pink filly. “Diamond Bitch-ar-a, pussy.”

Silver Spoon narrowed her eyes. “Don’t you know who pays for the school in Ponyville? That’s right, it’s her mother! If you even try to bully us, we’ll get you kicked out of the school. How about that, hm?”

Eugene’s face darkened. His cutesy tone dropped to a more ominous one. “Hey daddy chill, we didn’t even make it to school. Yet you think that taking our right to education away is scary? Try to imagine this, okay? Right as you try to go to sleep at midnight, in the dark you will see some shadowy figure. For once, they won’t be some silly phantom or goblin. That will be me with my crowbar and I will fucking be ready to take your kneecaps.”

Diamond Tiara slapped Eugene across the face. Due to his lack of balance, he fell down like a ragdoll. “Hm, knew it. You’re all bark and no bite.”

“Oh believe you me, when I’ll find you, they will need to glue you back together ... In hell!” Eugene muttered. Despite his bravado, he was holding back his tears as best as he could. It wasn’t easy, given his filly body was terribly sensitive.

Diamond Tiara scoffed. What even was a hell?

Jon, on the other hoof, felt differently about the situation. He felt his cheeks grow warm. Damn, that’s hot. N-Not that I want to enact upon it. Even just thinking about doing it is wrong and making me feel like shit. Remember; Applejack’s the way to go. Maybe Fluttershy is things don’t work out. Another change brought by his new bodyperhaps? A shameful one, indeed. “Well, you got us, uh, Tiara. I guess we’ll just bury the hatchet and move to other things.”

“Not so fast, blank flank.” Diamond Tiara held a hoof out, stopping the two fillies form escaping their grasp just yet. “Our school, our rules. You’ll have to listen and do everything we tell you to, m’kay?”

Eugene stood up, rubbing his injured cheek. “Damn, didn’t know there was slavery here in Ponyville. I guess you can learn something by living with people in real life.”

“Oh yeah, th-that, uh, that’s a pretty good. No, yeah.” Jon leaned close to his friend. “We’re joining the fucking Cutie Mark Crusaders, screw these two.” He turned back to the two bullies. “Alright, we’re gonna follow your rules.”

“And before I-”

“We.” Silver Spoon added.

“-let you go, we’ll need to know who you are.” Diamond Tiara puffed her chest, doing her best to look imposing, which had the adverse effect on the two fillies.

“Don’t you know who I am? I’m the student of master Shifu, bitch! My name is Poh.” Eugene answered with unbridled confidence.

“Who even is master Shifu?” Diamond asked, perplexed.

Eugene feigned outrage. “How dare you be that ignorant! He was the student of Master Oogway.”

Diamond was starting to see red. Her patience waned. “Wh-What? That doesn’t answer my question at all! And who is Oogway?!”

Jon responded, though not without bursting into laughter. “He would be your mother.”

The pink filly winced. “Enough! You, your name, right now!”

Jon groaned. “Gee... No need to be so aggressive. I’m Bo Peep.”

Silver Spoon readjusted her glasses. “Alright, now scram already. You’ve crossed the line far too many times.”

As the two friends left, Jon had a funny, dirty idea. A final taunt against their new bullies. “You with me?” His eyes pointed at their flanks.

Eugene smirked. “That would surely be a pleasure.”

Right as they passed by them, Bo and Poh spun around and gave the two bullies a slap on the flank. “Goodnight, girls. We’ll see ya tomorrow.”

Fluttershy gasped. She was only gone for twenty minutes and already her two fillies were hurt, badly. Their cute little faces were bruised, simply pitiful to look at. “Oh my goodness, what happened to you two?”

“Diamond Bitchara.”

Author's Note

Jesuislaporte A.K.A The Applejack enjoyer
So, we filled this chapter with more sexual remarks and vaginas. I'll take the blame, all that stuff was me. Honestly, we both liked how this chapter turned out more than the first one. So yeah, enjoy the weirdness, consume the Anon filly.

Eugene A.K.A The Fluttershy enjoyer
I would first say that this chapter was extremely fun to write and if the erotic content already bothers you, it's not going to get any better. Sorry. Quick note: As I write this note, it's 3:44 a.m. and we're stoned.
Je vous aime, putain! - Les Tutos de Camille

3. Hot dawg! We're vibin' at school!

Following the Diamond Bitchara smackdown, Fluttershy took the two beaten fillies back home to tend to their wounds. The two small ponies had many bruises that needed attention.

“Now now, watch your language you two. Even if Diamond Tiara is not a very nice pony doesn’t mean you get to speak ill of her. I hope that experience didn’t make you scared of the school. I know there are a lot of nice foals around your age. Maybe you could try again to socialize and make new friends?”

She prescribed some pain killers to dull their bruises and placed some plasters on the parts that bled.

Eugene didn’t care that his pride was bruised by two fillies. One of his dreams was happening before his very eyes; Fluttershy was taking care of him. The pain was slowly fading away while his attention was reported in those magnificent and intense cyan eyes of her.

“...Thank you so much, Sh-utterfly”. Said Eugene with a barely perceptible and weakened voice.

“Oh goodness...” It would appear she’s still dazed. These fillies sure did a number on them. Thankfully, Bo Peep seemed to be in better condition.

“Oh, th-thank you for taking care of us.” Bo awkwardly fumbled, grasping her hurt head.

Fluttershy gave the poor filly a comforting smile. “Now, it is important that you don’t provoke other ponies. Some can get violent.”

“I got a first-row seat to a presentation on violence. I think I know a thing or two about that.”

These fillies were strange to say the least. Fluttershy couldn’t wrap her head around it but these two seemed a lot smarter than foals their age. Especially the way Bo talked, it felt like a mare talking through a child’s voice.

Poh broke out of her daze. “Well, if only a conversation with Diamond Bitchara was a painful failure, I don’t know how we will survive for more than 5 days in this place. Bo, I think we will need to change our act dude. Perhaps isolation could work?” Realising he wasn’t getting enough attention from the lovely pegasus, Poh dropped on her side, grasping her body. “Argh! Oh my ... my ribs hurt so bad. I think one broke.”

Bo stretched her limbs, cringing at the pain. Nevertheless, she smiled upon seeing the feeble act of her friend. “Don’t be such a baby, ribs grow back.” She turned to Fluttershy. “No, they don’t.”

“Now, now; there’s no need to isolate yourself. Every town has a few bad apples, but that doesn’t mean everypony will want to hurt you. I know a group of nice fillies who will surely be happy to meet you.” Fluttershy comforted, holding Poh by the cheeks.

Having an intense look down on her face, Poh was blushing and slowly reach her hoof on Fluttershy’s nose and booped her with a childish and excited laugh. “I boops you! Hihi.”

Fluttershy giggled. “Aren’t you an affectionate little pony?”

“Fuck yeah.”

The mare’s eyes narrowed. “Now, let’s talk about your language. No fillies should be talking this dirty, okay? Those are not pretty words to use, and they will do little to improve your speech. Let’s make it a rule to always avoid these words, okay?”

“You see, those words came from my father. That was all his fault, not mine. But, what the fuck... Oh, hum sorry. What the hay should I say instead?” Poh blurted out in a panic. He had made his pony waifu disappointed!

Bo Peep facehoofed, looking away in embarrassment. “Keep digging that hole, bud...”

“Even if they came from your father, it doesn’t mean you get to use them. It’s you who ultimately decides to use these bad words. I want you to make a conscious effort to stop for me, okay?”

“Fuck it. I’ll try. Oh shit, oh fuck I'm sorry... Godamnit. Argh!” Eugene put one of his hoofs in his mouth to make him stop speak without thinking.

Fluttershy frowned, a slow feeling of defeat taking over her. “That’s a terribly start, but a start nonetheless.” Her eyes moved to Bo Peep, who has been silent this whole time. “That goes for you too.” Though this filly was noticeably better at keeping her potty mouth in check.

“I know, I know.” She pouted. It’s a common occurrence with foals; they never like to be told what to do, and that is even when they want to do it originally.

To remedy this, Fluttershy gave the more eloquent filly a bright smile. “Come now, I’ll make you lunch.”

As the two fillies slowly and painfully get up from their bed, they start to have a competition to see who would arrive in the kitchen first. None of them won, they tied. It was quite the spectacle for the kind mare. She noticed just how bad these fillies were at running and that wasn’t just because of their injuries. They way the galloped was off, uncoordinated.

Oh dear, they might have some problem with their motor control. Fluttershy cringed at the thought of having to help them learn how to simply gallop. Taking on two fillies was already a daunting task in of itself, but to have two fillies with slight disabilities wasn’t much of a welcome addition.

“Ahah, I’m faster than you, nerd! See y’a at the finish line.” Poh gloated, oblivious to the reality that they tied.

“I’m going to cum in your mouth when you’re sleeping.” A most unusual and bizarrely sexual comeback from Bo. Fluttershy’s mind drew a blank as she tried to process what she had just heard. Eventually, she chose to believe that she must have misheard the filly and that her mind was just playing dirty tricks on her.

“So, by winning, you will be giving me a reward? Thank you, dude, I was in fact thirsty.”

And there was the fact that they kept referring to each other as dude or bud. Maybe these fillies were tomcolts? That would explain the masculine pronouns and their crudeness to an extent...?

Nevertheless, Fluttershy continued with her promise. “For lunch, I’ll prepare you a nice creamy, healthy, and delicious little soup.”

Poh sat at the table, eagerly awaiting her meal. “Cool! I suppose ... And what do we eat with the soup?”.

“Hm? It’s just the soup.”

“What do you mean it's just soup? Do we have something else after that? Like a T-bone steak, or a cheeseburger you know?”

Fluttershy blinked. She’s never heard of a cheeseburger. It sounded close to hayburger, but with cheese instead, maybe? The disturbing part, however, was that the filly asked for a T-bone steak. It sounded carnivorous and very un-ponylike. “Well, um... there will be no need for that. The soup is very nutritious. It contains all sorts of vegetables that’ll fill your hungry stomach in no time!”

“But where’s the grease, the fat, the salt, the sugar and stuff? I mean, this is just some stupid vegetables...” Poh complained, letting her face slowly fall on the table out of sheer disappointment.

That was enough. She had to put her hoof down. This filly was smart in the way she weaved around her want. “Poh, we are not getting you a hayburger. It’s not a healthy meal. It’s filled with all sorts of fat that are harmful. I want nothing but the best for you two. I only ask that you trust me.”

Eugene looked down at his soup. He wasn’t happy to be missing out on a hayburger, the closest thing around here to a cheeseburger. He felt like he would soon miss his dear human foods. He slowly ate his soup and making some grumpy noises along the way.

“Actually, that was kinda good. How did you make it so flavorful Fluttershy? What’s the secret?”

Fluttershy giggled, happy to see Poh come around. “The secret ingredient is love, Poh!”

As Eugene drank the last sip of the soup, he put his face in the bowl and accidentally got some of the soup in his nostrils. He snorted, pulling his head back as he saw snot in his soup. Suddenly, he wasn’t hungry anymore. So was his dear friend Jon who saw everything, gagging.

“Oh, dear...” Fluttershy cringed, feeling her stomach turn at that horrid sight.

Eugene was terribly ashamed of himself and was hiding in his hoofs to try to avoid the look of the other ponies. “I-I-I'm s-o sorry. I hope it doesn’t stain the secret ingredient, right?”

“Oh, no no no. The secret ingredient is still there. I’ll just... get you something to wipe your face. Don’t rub it on you, okay?” Fluttershy flew away in search of a tissue, throwing away the empty box of tissues in the trash.

Jon left the table, opting to leave his friend there. “And I’m going to vomit somewhere else.”

After Jon had regurgitated his entire meal in the toilet, he crumbled in the bathroom, sick. He was not expecting his body’s reaction to be so visceral. Then again, he was no man anymore, he was a cute little filly that had a nasty potty mouth. Staring in the mirror, he finally understood why Fluttershy found him so cute. His new filly form was the purest and most adorable thing he had ever seen.

It was a strange feeling to look at his reflection and see something he couldn’t register as himself. It was like an out of body experience. That wasn’t him, yet it was. Jon touched his puffy cheeks, gushing over his adorable face. He let out an amused laugh, which came out as a cute giggle in his filly voice. Not bad indeed.

As he kept on looking at his new face, a dirty question came to mind. His adult mind was still intact even after being transferred into a filly. He could still be aroused... In that case, he’ll probably need to find a discreet place at night to get a little dirty. It’ll feel wrong at first, considering he’s now a cute filly, but hormones are hormones. He can’t go against their will. Of course, there was still the hooves problem and how that would hinder his playtime.

But with time, he’ll get good at it.

Returning downstairs, Jon found a thankfully cleaned Eugene and Fluttershy waiting for him. “Alright now fillies, it is time to return to school. We’ll present ourselves to Miss Cheerilee for today and then you'll be attending your first class. It is very important that you get familiar with your new school before you start.”

“May you stay with us pw-ease? I really don’t know if we will be beaten again by those meanie little ponies... I just feel more reassured by your presence.” Eugene pleaded, giving Fluttershy the puppy eyes.

“Of course I’ll stay with you, my little pony. I won’t leave your side, I promise.” The mare affirmed, radiating such kindness.

“Yipee! Oh, thank you, thank you so much!” Eugene shouted as he run toward her to give her a neck hug, hanging there for a good moment.

Jon sighed, it was weird to see his friend act like a literal baby to get the mare’s attention. He was practically shaming himself just for her love, and that was something Jon was irked by. “Gee, you sure are a nice pony, Fluttershy!” Still, if he was going to play this game, then he should expect some fierce competition. Jon nuzzled Fluttershy, rubbing it in Eugene’s face.

Eugene stare intensely at Jon with a a contempt looking in his face and poke his eyes intentionally. “Don’t you know who she is? Don’t even dare touching her with ya filthy and disgusting little hooves!”

Before the little Bo could respond, Fluttershy raised her voice. “No fighting, please! I love you both equally, there’s no need to be fighting for my affection, okay?”

Thus, the two friends signed a non-existent peace treaty, for now.

Returning to the school, Jon and Eugene fearfully avoided Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon who were gathering the entire class to watch their butler do some tricks, which got a slight chuckle out of the two. They remembered that amusing episode of season four.

Thankfully, Fluttershy provided a nice cover for them, avoiding the ire of the two bullies as they headed inside the school, their safe zone. “Alright, girls. We’re about to meet Miss Cheerilee. I want you to be super nice when talking to her, okay? She will be your teacher for the upcoming years. So, Eugene, can you promise me to watch your language please?”

The little Poh smiled awkwardly. “... I’ll try my best, I promise, mom.”

Entering the class, the three saw Cheerilee correcting some exams during recess. Now was the time to make a good impression before their new teacher. They were not going to screw this up.

But still, before they approached her, Jon whispered in his friend’s ear. “Smash or pass?”

Eugene gave him a knowing smile. “Why is it a question? Do you really think I’m going to refuse the hand of this elegant lady? Double smash for me, with whipped cream and a cherry on top.”

“Of course, we’ll share the ‘elegant lady’ together, ay?”

The two fillies winked at each other.

Cheerilee spotted Fluttershy and the two accompanying fillies. “Oh, hello there, Fluttershy! I see you’re, uh, you have two fillies with you...”

Fluttershy nodded. “Yes, well... they knocked on my door one day and apparently don’t have any parents or relatives to go to. So, I’m taking care of them for the time being.”

“For life, that’s what she meant.” Eugene clarified, nuzzling Fluttershy like a kitten.

The cerise mare giggled. “I see they’re rather affectionate!” She approached the two fillies, leaning to get a closer look at the cute ponies. “Hi there! My name is Cheerilee. What are your names?”

“Hello! I’m the student of Shifu and my name is Poh...” The little filly proudly exclaimed.

Their new teacher was amused by the filly’s apparent love for martial arts movies. “That’s a nice name! And what about you?”

Looking at how his friend did it, the other filly wanted to bring her own flavor to the table. “Hi! I’m Bo Peep, I can’t wait to start learning with you!” Nailed it.

Cheerilee gushed. These two fillies were simply adorable! “Aw, I always love to help a filly with learning!”

“Hum, sorry Cheer-oli ... Choorilee ... Hum, Miss Cheetos, when will be the dinner break? I’m really hungry.” Poh stumbled, looking increasingly more nervous with each failed attempt.

Cheerilee ignored this awkward fumble and answered the filly’s actual question with her usual joyful attitude. “Well, this is the dinner break. But if you’re still hungry, you can always bring a snack in class as long as it isn’t a noisy one like chips.”

Poh turned to her foster mother, wagging her tail excitedly. “Oh, oh oh! Fluttershy, did you bring us by chance a snack?”

Fluttershy’s eyes widened. “Oh d-dear... Um, I didn’t think to bring a snack for you. I’m sorry.”

“Oh ... That's ok, I knew I should’ve fully eaten my soup.”

“And I knew I shouldn’t have barfed in your toilet.” Bo Peep stated bluntly.

The two mares blinked, struggling to process the bluntness of the cute filly. Eventually, Cheerilee cleared her throat and resumed. “Well, in any case, classes should be in session soon. You can stay and try to learn with the other students. Um, do they have any pencils and notebooks?”

Fluttershy smiled. “Thankfully, I did.” She opened her saddlebag, revealing its content to the fillies. “Here is your school equipment!”

“Oh, and there is glue stick too! Awesome.” Poh said by grabbing it and start to slowly consume it like a delicacy.

Bo Peep cringed, feeling her face growing hot simply by being associated with this dumbass. With each stupid skit her friend did, she wanted to hop on a rocket and fly to the moon to curl up in a foetal position and cry.

With the glue smeared all over his face, he wanted to share with his friend. “Hey bro, this thing is bussin’ you want some?”

“I’d rather not stuff my face with the cum sti-oh... Oh.” Bo blushed. The two mares stared at her with incredulous looks. In that very moment, she wanted to die.

“Ah! Gottem.” Poh exclaimed, spitting out some glue in the process.

Cheerilee rapidly intervened to stop the awkward situation “Please don’t eat your glue stick, it is highly toxic and could make you sick.”

Bo Peep smacked the glue stick out of her friend’s hoof, unamused. “Stop it, go get some help.”

Eugene desperately tried to grab the glue stick as it was falling on the ground but failed. “NO! My glue! You fu-... unpleasant person.”

“What the hay is a person?” Bo asked before Cheerilee or Fluttershy could.

The teacher cleared her throat, getting the attention of the two fillies. “Anyway, class should resume soon. The desks in the back are yours.” Cheerilee pointed at said desks, but Poh was too absorbed by the sad death of her glue stick to notice.

Bo Peep sighed, feeling like her friend is once again trying to sabotage everything. Then again, what did she expect? At every single recess in middle school, Poh would always look for somebody to mess with. His friend is the living definition of schadenfreude. “Ah shit, here we go again...”

When the fillies sat down far away from the two mares, Fluttershy blushed, embarrassed by the volatile nature of the two ponies she chose to foster. “Gosh, I-I'm sorry if they came across as rude. They’re a bit strange, b-but they’re quite lovely if you give them the chance.”

Watching her new students get accustomed with their new school, Cheerilee took a deep breath. “I’m sure they are. I just hope they won’t disrupt the whole class. They seem rather simple minded at times.”

“Hey Peep, look at that sharpie, it smells exactly like marshmallow!” Eugene exclaimed as he took a deep breath in.

Jon, however, heard what Cheerilee said. Ouch. Simple minded, us? Nah, I think we’re just suffering from brainrot. At least, that’s what’s happening to Eugene. His simp energies are off the fucking chart. “You’re a dumbass.”

“What, don’t tell me you dislike that smell? And see there is also blueberry, strawberry and even chocolate! Come on dude, just sniff one, that will surely change your unfounded opinion.”

Jon blinked, not believing his ears. “Whadafuq, bro? I can’t smell for shit. I told you that a hundred times already.”

Eugene’s vision turned red. “Shame on you, that will be a regretful moment when that yellow female genitalia will be in front of your face, and you won’t smell shit.”

“Way to dog on my disability.” Jon stared at Fluttershy, watching her leave before he decided to try out a little something. “Dude, if Fluttershy jumped off a cliff, would you follow her?”

“If she would go, that would be the loneliest day of my life... So, if she was going to die, I wanna die with her.” Eugene responded with conviction much to the dismay of his friend.

“Eugene! Don’t jump off a cliff! That’s stupid!”

Eugene closed his eyes, holding a hoof to his filly heart. “In a pony world where the element of kindness ceases to exist, is there really a reason to continue living? It will be a city of crime and chaos, between animals and ponies. I would be honored to take her hand and walk away in a better place where I know my loved one will be with me for eternity.”

“What’s that about a cliff?”

The two friends froze for a brief moment. Cheerilee had seemingly teleported before them, her curious eyes now upon them.

Without skipping a beat, Jon pointed at his friend. “Poh wants to jump off a cliff.” Eat it, bitch.

Cheerilee’s heart skipped a beat. “What? Poh, why do you want to jump off a cliff?”

“Well, if you summarise it like that, sure. But that was a highly intellectual philosophy discussion about taking a risk of our own life to save somepony. And that somepony was so important that I thought living in Ponyville without her was worthless.”

Oh. The cerise mare breathed a sigh of relief. She should have seen it coming. Just two foals having an amusing conversation that leads nowhere. “Well, it’s nice that you’re having such intellectual debates, but class is about to start in under a minute. It wil be nice if you would pay attention to today’s lesson.”

“What will it be about?” Jon asked curiously.

“Sexual education.” Cheerilee responded brightly. “It is very important that foals learn about the way their body works.”

Jon and Eugene blinked. Did they heart that right? Their first class... and it’s going to be rather suggestive.

Jon smirked. “Nice.”

Eugene took on a more philosophical look, or at least what he believed constituted as one. “It seems that our destiny is really doing well its thing.”

“Nah, bro. We’re doing destiny right now.”

Author's Note

Jesuislaporte A.K.A Applejack Enjoyer
This keeps on getting more cursed with each chapter and I love it. Prepare thy nuts. It's time we learn about the pussy! Yes, we are going to learn about the vagina! We are going to learn about hormones! We are going to learn about the poopoo doodoo hole. And we will most certainly be talking about le sex.

Eugene A.K.A Fluttershy Enjoyer
With each chapter, I get more and more confused, I don't know if I should devote my love to Fluttershy or keep it stupid and light. Next chapter, it will be Cutie Mark Crusading time, baby.
Je vous aime, putain! - Les Tutos

4. Hot giggidy damn! We're in heat!

It’s quite unusual to receive sexual education at such a young age, in an elementary school. Then again, maybe they simply couldn’t remember if they also did this back on Earth. Maybe it did happen to some extent. Cheerilee pulled out many interesting pictures about the pony anatomy, for both stallions and mares. Jon and Eugene stopped messing around, engrossed by the teacher’s lesson. Mostly by the pictures.

“The estrus cycle begins around the early Spring and carries on to the end of Summer.” Cheerilee explained, occasionally glancing at the two new fillies in the back. “During that period, a mare will go into heat every 21 days during this breeding session. They will also be receptive to mating during 5 to 7 days out of their cycles.”

“I wonder if that will be the case with Fluttershy too... That could really speed things up.” Eugene whispered to his friend Jon while Cheerilee continued to give her explanation.

Jon paid no mind to his friend’s comment, brushing him off as being horny again but then, an important question came to mind. He raised his hoof, waiting for the teacher to notice him.

Cheerilee stopped her lesson, noticing the filly getting up on her chair. “Yes, Bo Peep?”

“When do filly’s go into heat for the first time?” Bo asked. A pertinent question indeed.

“Oh, well, usually it starts when a filly begins puberty at around ten years old.” Cheerilee helpfully answered.

Bo Peep blinked, slowly processing the ramifications of this. “Wait, Eu-I mean Poh, does that mean we are about to go into heat?”

Poh felt her body slowly heating up. “Yeah, you're right, I never thought about the reason of a tingling feeling sensation in the lower part of my body. It is so ... strange. I just feel an urge to satiate my horniness. I’m so fucking hot right now.”

“... To find relief from heat, a mare must couple with a stallion.” Cheerilee continued.

Bo’s eyes widened. Her horrified eyes scouted the class. She could only hope that this heat wasn’t going to become unbearable. After all, how could she couple with a stallion? She’s been turned into a child! No way is she going to couple with a colt. She has standards! “Dude, we need to think of something, quick.”

The pony ahead of them turned around and hushed them. It was Sweetie Belle! “Can you girls please keep it down? I’m trying to listen!”

“Oops, sorry.” Bo apologised, feeling a little hot at the moment. The lesson continued, with Cheerilee explaining more into detail the act of mating. It was weird as hell for the two former humans to hear all of this in an elementary school. Ponies and human mentalities were truly different, especially regarding sexuality. They had zero problems talking about the birds and the bees. Then again, ponies are always naked. Makes sense.

Eugene watches frenetically at the clock as a desperate way of passing the time. Its back hoofs were stomping in the ground, he was barely capable of holding the horny. His cheeks slowly turned red, sweat began to drip down his face. This was it, the estrus cycle was kicking in. Much faster than the other foals especially. Was it because of his matured brain? Probably. That, and the hundreds of times he fapped to Fluttershy. Now, he couldn’t wait anymore for penetration.

Jon wasn’t having much luck either. He probably was more of a hormone filled beast than his friend. Their matured brains didn’t mesh well with the rest of their body, creating a big problem. They were the only ones sweating amongst the class. The other ponies were probably too young to care about mating. They probably just felt a little hot in the spring and moved on when winter came, but not them. They absolutely NEEDED to heed Cheerilee’s lesson. They needed a stallion willing to save them from this burning hellscape of their filly bodies.

“Sadly, it has been discovered that only 50 to 60% of breeding results in a foal. Hm, then again... it could be viewed as a good thing depending on the context.”

Eugene waved his hoof at Cheerliee general direction to ask an important question “Hum miss Che-Cherole-cheetos?”

Cheerilee put down her chalk, hiding her mild annoyance. “Yes, what is it Poh?”

“If, let's say, a filly doesn’t want to have the pepe in the popo sex butt thing, what can she do to stop the ‘drive’?” Eugene awkwardly explained, hiding his blush.

Cheerilee scratched her chin, providing a brief hope to the burning filly. “Well... I don’t know. I don’t believe there is another way to stop the heat except for the act of mating. If you want to go into more details, you can always visit the Golden Oak and find a book on this subject.”

With pure panic in his eyes, Eugene frenetically ran outside the class and bumped in someponies desk. “I’m sowwy, I need to go. I-I-I have something to do...”

“Sure, you can go to the bathroom. Just make it quick, please.”

Jon watched with wide eyes. “Oh god, he’s going to be gooning in the bathroom.”

With Eugene gone, Cheerilee resumed. Jon looked around anxiously, scared out of his mind to realise he’s the only one now having this trouble. Unless he asked the teacher to go in the bathroom, he’s going to be gooning in class. “Ah... Ah fuck....” He needed to ask her! But to do so now would feel disingenuous, and Cheerilee would pick up on that quick. No choice!

“M-Miss Cheerilee?” Bo asked with a shaky voice.

“Yes, my little pony?”

“I need to goo- to go to the bathroom, it’s really important.” To her relief, Cheerilee let her leave. She didn’t need to hear the rest of the lesson, she knew the rest anyway, not that she ever got to practice it. And so, Bo Peep left the classroom, her face red like a tomato. She caught some unfortunate gazes from her classmates, but that didn’t matter to her in the moment.

Rushing in the hallway, Bo made a conscious effort to choose the mare’s bathroom instead of the stallion’s. It felt wrong to do so, but with this new body came new perks. She’s not being a pervert here, she’s just using her newfound rights! Busting the door open, she heard a muffled voice coming from one of the many stalls.

“Oh, fuck me with those penis looking hoofs!”

Somewhat scared, Bo followed the source of the voice and knocked on the stall. “Eugene, don’t tell me you’re masturbating in an elementary school’s bathroom?”

Poh moaned in desperation. “N-n-n-ooo... I’m just doing some snails stuff you know? D-Don't you dare enter!”

This is going to be so wrong but... Bo winked, ducking to peek under the stall. “Prepare for trouble... and make it double!”

And there he saw it. His own friend, sitting on the toilet, masturbating with the handle of a brush toilet, who’s feeling disgusted and excited at the same of its new sexual toy he found.

“Is... Is that really how you’re going to masturbate?” Bo looked at her hooves, wondering if it’s even possible to do the dirty deed with them alone. “Well, fine. I’ll get my own stall and fight off my heat.”

Taking the stall next to his friend, Bo got to work. “Prepare thy nuts!” Quickly and efficiently, she got to work on cooling off her heat. The silence of the bathroom was drowned out by the moans of two fillies going to town on their vaginas. It felt so good, so refreshing. Cheerilee had not mentioned that this alternative method worked! Maybe it was too soon for foals to know. At least, they can hold off the need to couple with a colt or filly. They can hold off until they’re old enough to snatch anypony they want.

Then, the bathroom’s door opened. A filly entered! The clopping of her hooves echoed throughout the now silent bathroom. Both Bo and Poh froze, keeping their mouths shut. They saw four pink hooves calmly trotting past them. Oh, shit! Bo thought. Diamond Bitchara alert!

Diamond Tiara glanced over the two closed stalls, scoffing. No doubt the two blank flanks were hiding in there, cowering from her. Smirking, she tapped on one of the stalls. “Well, blank flanks. It would seem that my favorite stall is taken. How terrible. How can I ever fulfill my needs if I don’t have my favorite stall?” The rich bitch laughed. “Not like you have any choice. Let me have my stall or should I remind what happened last time you mocked me?”

Bo Peep tapped on the stall next to her, getting the attention of her friend. Her wings were flustered. She had unconsciously strained them for the entire duration of her playtime. As a result, they were hurting. “I’m halfway there, no way I can leave in front of Diamond like that. You need to go first, dude.”

In memory of what happened last time he disobeyed and lacked respect in front of Diamond Bitchara, he indeed realised he didn’t have any choice. In a shameful way, he pulled out his improvised dildo out of his pussy, as it made a wet and slurpy sound. Closing his back legs to hide his gooninesss, he slowly opens the door and try to avoid that bitch judgmental look and with a desperate wish that she didn’t have to make the number 2, or worse, use the toilet brush.

Diamond Tiara raised an eyebrow at the sight of this green filly. Her face was completely red, and she was limping away from her with this terrified look in her eyes. “Tss...”

For Bo Peep, it meant that victory had been achieved. The problem now was the invisible time limit. They can’t spend too much time in the bathroom without catching the teacher’s ire. This meant she had to speedrun her magical cure against her heat. W-Well... Here goes.

“You literal brush fucker! That was my idea!” Poh shouted before taking another stall to fulfill her horny desires.

Diamond Tiara took a deep breath, ready to enjoy her break from this boring and dreadful class in peace. To bully these two idiots was the cherry on top. She leaned back and closed her eyes. It was at this moment that she began to hear a wet slurping noise on her right. Confused, she chose to ignore it. But then, that very same noise came from the left too. She wondered what could even make that noise as it broke the peaceful silence of the bathroom.

Then, strange breathing noises could be heard accompanying the slurping. It was a slow crescendo of weirdness. And now, thanks to these two blank flanks, Diamond Tiara couldn’t get some peace and quiet.

For some reason, one of them even muttered her name!

“Um excuse you, but can you keep it down already!? You’re disturbing me!” Tiara exclaimed, banging on the stalls around her.

The only sounds she heard were muffled moans surrounding her. Panickily trying to figure it out what is going on, she started to notice liquid slowly disperse on the left and on the right stall of her. A few seconds later, the stalls opened. Confused and curious, Diamond flushed her toilet and left to see just what was going on.

Instead of being met with fear, she was met with praise. Bo Peep tapped her shoulder. “Thanks Diamond, you really helped me when it was getting hard to find some motivation.”

Imitating Bo Peep’s behavior, “Yeah, sowwy for calling you a bitch recently. I mean, you still are, but I think that I kinda like you, you know? You helped us in our time of need, so, it is natural for us to do the same thing for you.”

Diamond Tiara blinked. “Well... I will ask a favor of you soon enough.” she mumbled absently as she watched the two fillies washing their hooves and cleaning their lady part before leaving the bathroom, satisfied.

“Catch ya later, babe.” Bo said, ironically blowing a kiss as Diamond watched on, horribly confused and disgusted.

After returning to their class, fully satisfied, Bo and Poh listened intently to the rest of the lesson, though most of it wasn’t all that important. They were not men anymore, so what was the point of learning about an erection?

After class ended, the two fillies followed the rest of the class outside, waiting for their new mother to come pick them up. During that wait, they noticed three iconic fillies come to them with great interest in their eyes. It was the Cutie Mark Crusaders, most likely noticing their lack of cutie marks.

“Hey, haven’t seen you two before. Are you new to Ponyville?” Scootaloo asked.

“And what is yer name?” Apple Bloom followed.

Sweetie Belle glanced over their flanks. “And do you want to have a cutie mark?”

“First off; Yes. Secondly; Bo and Poh and lastly, don’t we all want a cutie mark? I’m mean, unless you want to remain as a basic bitch your whole life, you don’t really have a choice.” Bo Peep deadpanned.

After a long and cringy silence between the fillies, Eugene felt he had to say something. “Yeah, I think what she just said. Sorry if we look unfriendly, that’s the way we are. If you don’t mind, our mom is almost here to pick us up.”

“Well, we don’t mind right naow. We just ‘eard that ya really got on Diamond’s nerve earlier.” Apple Bloom informed, looking at the many plasters on the two fillies.

Poh smirked. “You mean the one and only Bitchara? Yeah, we aren’t letting her control us like if she was a dictator from a cliché movie you know? Even, if we have a royalty fee on her.”

“A royalty fee? What did she do to deserve that?” Sweetie Belle asked.

Bo Peep’s eye twitched and she put on an awkward smile. “Nothing you should be concerned about, really.”

“Let’s say, she helped us learn about today’s class.” Poh said, winking at her friend who didn’t share her devious pleasure in being mysterious.

“Pff, as if she’ll ever help anypony with anything ever!” Scootaloo brushed it off. “She only really cares about herself and Silver Spoon to some extent.”

Speak of the devil, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon passed by them, smirking at the two bruised fillies, her work of art. “Don’t forget; you owe me one. Both of you.”

Apple Bloom glared, eyeballing the two bullies until they were gone. “Sounds like ya two are in for one nasty ride. Diamond’s gonna take advantage of y’all, Ah hope ya know that.”

Poh snickered. “We don’t even know what she wants to do with us, that’s the funny part... Cleaning her bedroom? Being a pet for her for a day? Mushing the foods for her in our mouths? Once shudders to imagine what inhuman thoughts lie behind those eyes. What dreams of chronic and sustained cruelty...”

The three crusaders blinked, mildly perturbed by some of the downright fetishized guesses. Nevertheless, they saw in these two fillies the possibility of finding new recruits for the Cutie Mark Crusaders. “Well anyway, have you ever heard of the Cutie Mark Crusaders?” Scootaloo asked.

Bo shot a glance at her friend, looking to form a consensus. “Well, we did hear about that, sorta... We just heard about a similar club in, uh, Manehattan I believe.”

Apple Bloom’s eyes shot wide open. “Oh really? Ah didn’t know they stole our mojo there. Still, do ya know what we crusaders do?”

Fuck, piss and shit! That’s season 3! We’re in season 2! God damn, I better get my facts right next time. “Uh, crucify ponies?” Bo mockingly answered, letting a bit of bitterness come out of her voice.

“What’s crucifying?” Sweetie Belle asked.

Poh clopped her hooves together. “Have you ever heard of that dude Jesus Christ?”

“Poh, shut the fuck up, right now.” Bo deadpanned.

Scootaloo cleared her throat. “Anyway... we crusaders are trying to get our cutie marks, so we’re always trying out new things to get them! Uh, we had no luck so far...”

And you won’t have any for the next three seasons. Bo thought. “Well that sounds interesting. I suppose you’re here to enlist us?”

Sweetie Belle smiled. “Pretty much! We don’t have many members right now. Nopony really wants to join in Ponyville so, um, would you be the first to join the Cutie Mark Crusaders?” She gave them her best puppy eyes, the kind of eyes you couldn’t say no to. Unless you have no heart.

“Yeah, sure, we don’t have better things to do anyway!” Oh yeah, I forgot about obtaining Fluttershy love. Eugene then thought, feeling bad about his answer.

At least, it made someponies happy. The three crusaders bounced around in joy. They finally were able to convince other foals to join their club! What a wonderful feeling.

“Come on, follow us. We’ll take ya to our secret lair.” Apple Bloom announced, waving a hoof at them.

“Well, we can’t for today, sorry. We’re currently waiting for Fluttershy to come pick us up from school.” Bo Peep declined.

Sweetie Belle lowered her head. “Oh right. We-Did you just say Fluttershy? I thought you said your mom was coming to pick...” The gears in her head turned, coming to the one logical conclusion. “Fluttershy’s your mom?!”

Poh grinned. “You heard it right; the element of kindness is our mom! Are you all jealous of how cool our parent is compared to yours?”

Bo Peep blinked. “Do you even think before you speak?”

“Yeah right. Mah older sister’s ta Element of Honesty!” Apple Bloom exclaimed.

“And my older sister is the Element of Generosity!” Sweetie Belle added.

Scootaloo raised her head proudly. “And my old... nevermind. Well, R-Rainbow Dash thinks I’m cool anyway.”

And speaking of the mane 6, one yellow pony flew gracefully and meticulously at the front of the school to pick up both of her fillies as promised. The CMC’s had definitive proof that these two weren’t lying. Fluttershy really adopted them out of the blue.

“Oh, hello girls.” Fluttershy landed near the two green fillies, now feeling like she has to address the elephant in the room. “Um, as you can see; I now have to take care of these two. We can’t find their parents or anypony willing to take care of them for that matter so, um, I chose to do it. I mean, look at how cute they are!”

Eugene struck a pose. “That right, now step aside and be amazed by the power of an angel!”

The little filly dropped to the ground, waving her hooves up and down in a strange gesture only Bo understood.

“O...kay?” Apple Bloom scratched her head, weirded out by the new filly’s strange behavior. Was that something they do in Manehattan?

Fluttershy patted the little filly on the head. “Oh, I don’t deserve such praises! Anyway, it’s time to return home, I’ve prepared a nice meal home.”

“Yay! Tell us, what is it, what is it?” Both fillies said while running excitedly around her and jumping everywhere. A cute display for the mare.

“Ah ha, it’s a surprise!” Fluttershy teased. “You’ll have to wait and see!”

As it turned out, the surprise meal in question was corn with butter and salt. Jon stared in joy at his plate. It’s been so long since he’s eaten corn, it was going to be a delicious meal!

One problem; one the hell does one eat corn without fingers?

Fluttershy wondered why the two fillies were not eating yet. “Um, i-is something wrong with the corn?”

“Hum, we aren’t used to eating corn using our hooves... Do you have a fork? Oh, wait that doesn’t solve the problem at all. Eugene responded.

Jon shrugged. “Meh, whatever.” He picked the corn using his hooves. It took some getting used to, but he was able to take a bite out of the delicious corn, relishing in its buttery and salty taste. He got to work on stripping this corn naked while Fluttershy went to fetch his friend a fork.

“Alright, if that helps you eat your corn...”

“Hum thank you ...” Eugene already regretted his previous answer as he had to pretend, he knew what he was doing. He then clumsy grab the fork and pierce the corn right in the middle. As an improvised hammer, he kicks the vegetable right into the table, putting a little bit piece of corn on his plate. By the hard judgemental look on his friend’s face, he had to pretend that everything is ok. So, he continued his meal while having an embarrassed look on his face.

“My friend’s very clumsy. It’s why she doesn’t work at McDonald’s anymore.” Bo Peep deadpanned.

“Well, I can tell she’s very, um, clumsy. But that’s no reason to be ridiculing her, she’s trying her best.” Fluttershy defended, offering a cute smile to the struggling filly.

After both finish their meal, it was time to ask the final question to this magnificent meal they were having. Eugene licked his lips, and with a great smile with a piece of corn still between his front teeth he asked “What is the dessert Fluttershy? Is it Nutella on brioche, or a croissant? Double glazed donut with chocolate chips on top?”

Her foster mother blinked. “Oh, um, I-I only have ice cream in my fridge so... I guess we’ll be having ice cream.”

Bo Peep burped loudly. “Chocolate ice cream?”

The kind mare nodded. “Yes, vanilla too if your friend would prefer that.”

“Yay, that’s my favorite flavor of all time!” Eugene happily responded.

Fluttershy returned with three bowls of ice cream for each of them. “So, how was your day? Did you learn anything exciting at school?”

“We had a sexual education about reproduction, and it was ‘interesting’ to say the least.” Bo Peep responded.

“And we are now enslaved because of it by Diamond Tiara.” Poh added.

Fluttershy bugged on the word “enslaved”. It took some time for her to regain her composure after hearing such a cute being utter a terribly dark word. “W-What do you mean?”

Bo Peep rolled her eyes. “She means we’ve been bullied. I don’t think this is anything to worry about.”

“Well, we have no idea yet on what she will demand us.” Poh added.

“Oh my, a-and what did you learn with Miss Cheerilee?” Fluttershy asked, hoping to derail the subject from something less terrible.

“Hum... We learned about ourselves? Oh, and that a toilet brush makes a good ...” Poh cringed.

Bo smirked. “We learned about our bodies to be precise. We learned what it meant to be in heat.”

Fluttershy smiled. “Ah, so it was a very important lesson.”

The two fillies blinked. Not the type of reaction they were expecting.

“We’re in the middle of Spring right now. It’s a good thing you learned about it today, that way you won’t be feeling scared when you’ll feel your first heat!”

Jon and Eugene looked at each other. They both had the same question in mind yet didn’t know if it was a good idea to ask. Eventually, it was decided that Eugene would be the one to go.

“So hum, who was your first heat?”

“Are you in heat too, mommy?” Bo cut in with all the bluntness of a baseball bat.

Fluttershy blinked. “Oh, w-well. It is starting for me, the same goes for my friends, um. J-Just don’t worry about it. It’s nothing to be concerned about. Being in heat isn’t as bad as they make it out to be.”

“I’d wager against that.”

Later that night, Jon and Eugene were offered their own bed so that they wouldn’t be forced to sleep with Fluttershy all the time. A kind gesture by the mare, but unfortunately, they were not normal fillies. Unlike your average foals, they had desires, more mature desires to be precise.

Currently resting in their new bed in the living room, the two fillies pondered over their conversation during dinner.

“Well, this is nice, I guess.” Jon muttered in bed, feeling somewhat awkward to be sleeping in the same bed as his friend.

“Why the fuck did you ask if she was in heat? That isn't something you tell someponies about it, especially not our mother!” Eugene exclaimed angrily.

“Oh come on, you were thinking about it too. I mean, we should know that, right? And plus, nobody gives a shit. They’re all okay being open about their sexuality.” Jon hissed.

“Yeah, of course, but if we want a chance to have a sexual relation with her, we need to be sneaky about it and play it in a more intelligent way dude! One wrong answer and perhaps we could get out the door.” Eugene panickily responded.

Jon looked up the stairs. “Yeah, I mean, maybe we could do it, but that would imply that Fluttershy’s a pedophile, dude. That’s very concerning if we do succeed.”

“We are already the weird one to be part of this world and to sexually profit on some ponies we’ve seen in a kid’s animation show.” Eugene pointed out.

“You know what, if we can’t fuck her, we’ll just sleep in her bed again and stare at her pussy.” Straight the point and blunt as hell, that was Jon for you. He had already jumped out of bed, waving his friend to follow him. “Go go go.”

Eugene begrudgingly followed his friend. “Argh, ok dude, deal. But if you aren’t happy by how fast this is going, you can still find someone else to fuck on. Remember, you have 5 other pussies to choose.”

“Hm, Applejack pussy.”

Opening their mother door Eugene worked his newly acquired filly charm to convince her mother. “Fluttershy, sorry to disturb you, but can we sleep with you p-pwease? We are so scared of the dark.”

Fluttershy yelped, pulling the sheets further up. Her face was red and sweating. The poor mare looked very uncomfortable, but her fillies were at her door, asking to sleep with her. She can’t turn down these adorable foals. “A-Alright, my little ponies. J-Just, um, give me one minute, okay?”

Jon’s eyes widened. “Aw, nuts, dude.” He pulled his friend away and lowered his voice. “I think Fluttershy’s gooning, man. She’s blushing hard. Just look at her.”

“One way to find out. Investigation time.” As Eugene pull out a magnifying glass out of his ass. Not literally, thankfully.

They saw Fluttershy lock herself away in the bathroom. “Need more proof, Eugene?” Jon mused.

“Maybe she just went pissing? Or she has her period? We can’t guess like that dude.”

Jon jumped on the bed, pulling the sheets down. “Stop being in denial already. Just look, man. There are stains on her bed. She didn’t piss herself before we came, she was fucking gooning.”

“Perhaps she had a nightmare and her sweat just penetrated her bed?”

“I think she was fucking penetrating herself! Stop trying to act like you don’t know what’s going on-”

The bathroom door opened out of the blue. “Okay, sorry to keep you waiting. I just had to, um, g-go.” Fluttershy was still a little red. She wiped the sweat off her forehead and gently flew to her bed. “Alright now, my little ponies; it’s time to sleep. You’ll have another very important day at school tomorrow, so it’s really important that you have a good night’s sleep.”

The two fillies hesitantly lied down under the blanket, cringing at the knowledge of what transpired under. Nevertheless, they chose to stick to Fluttershy like glue, comforted by her soft fur. “Goodnight, sleepy heads. I will cook you some pancakes tomorrow!”

It felt good to cuddle against Fluttershy but still, the possibility of one day ending their friendly competition seemed next to zero. She was too pure to get it on with foals. Perhaps they should settle for another target, hm?

If only Eugene would open his eyes to the sad truth. He cannot let his precious pony waifu go. But to win this competition, he must set his sight on somepony else before Jon takes the easy win.

Well, that’s enough thinking for tonight. Eugene elected to gaze more at Fluttershy’s crotch before sleep finally caught up to him. As for Jon, curiosity took over him. It begged him to peek under the bed, just to be sure.

Sure enough, he saw a very distinct shape under the bed. One he sort of misses. And worst of all; it was too big for a pony his size. A sad reminder of his lost manhood. “I’ll borrow that someday, Fluttershy.”

Author's Note

Jesuislaporte A.K.A Applejack Enjoyer
You may be wondering why every time my friend or I say Poh, it's always extremely small. That's an inside joke. Don't fret over it. Also, yeah, we started going more into sexuality this chapter because an important part of switching gender is, of course, sexuality. A~~lso, we made it a rule to that the only foals who are gonna be somewhat sexualised in this story are Jon and Eugene since they're technically not real foals. The rest, however, is a no no. We have standards, people.~~
Ha ha ha ha ha! Fuck that, we have no standards anymore. New Year Resolution, bitches!

Eugene A.K.A Fluttershy enjoyer
A chapter that was as fun as disturbing to write.
Je vous aime, putain - Les Tutos

5. Zoo Wee Mama! We're Crusaders Now!

Author's Note

JeSuisLaPorte A.K.A Applejack Enjoyer

Took a while to work on it, but we finally did! At this point, I'm starting to suspect my friend has basically turned himself into a caricature because he's genuinely not that retarded IRL. As for me, I'm still very much a self-insert, the straight man of the two. It wouldn't be as funny if we were both dumbasses. Anyway, enjoy the show.

5. Zoo Wee Mama! We're Crusaders Now!

Today was going to be a different day, the two former humans could feel it in the air. They woke up this morning only to find Fluttershy missing from her bed, now overtaken by the small ponies. They heard shuffling downstairs, prompting them to head to the living room.

Down there, they saw Fluttershy flying around her home, packing things into a small luggage.

“Uh, what’s going on in here?” Bo asked curiously. The image of seeing her preparing to leave reminded the filly of the place she truly belonged. An urban world with much less magic. She had a lot of time left before Discord returned, so the thought of leaving seemed so far out of reach for now. It was a sad reminder indeed, one that Poh didn’t seem to think much about right now.

“No! Please ... Don’t leave us. I beg you, don’t seek out for milk like my parents!” Poh desperately shouted while she hanged and trembled on the mare’s front hooves.

Fluttershy stopped, looking a little guilty. She caressed Poh until she stopped holding onto her leg. “Oh, I-I'm sorry, It’s just that, um...” The kind mare picked up a nearby paper and showed it to the two fillies. “I almost forgot I was invited to a zoo in Manehattan featuring all sorts of exotic animals. They’re really looking forward to see me. Um, again, I’m really sorry for forgetting to tell you this. I promise I’ll let you know in advance next time if I’m ever leaving. For now, you’ll be spending the day at Sweet Apple Acre with Granny Smith.”

The pegasus flew over to the kitchen, inviting the two little ponies in. “I’ve also made you pancakes as promised. After you’re done eating, I’ll take you to Sweet Apple Acre.”

“Do we have Nutella for this? Pancakes are much better with chocolate.” Bo Peep grunted, flapping her wings unsuccessfully. She lamented her current inability to fly. At least, she can float with them but that’s not much. The last thing she wanted was to be a disabled pegasus, sort of like Scootaloo. The simple thought of the young pegasus made her remember that since they were fillies; they’d most likely be approached by the CMC’s soon enough.

“Um, let me see.” Fluttershy checked the drawers in search of that fabled “Nutella”. Sadly, she came up short. Plus, she had no idea what that even was though it sounded familiar. “I-I’m sorry, but I don’t have Nutella. What I do have is Ponytella.”

“You gotta be fucking kidding me.” Bo facehoofed. “Yeah, I’ll have some Ponytella on my pancakes.” the filly affirmed, cringing internally at the mere pronunciation of this word. "How about you, Eu-Poh.”

Poh smirked, taking a deep breath before relaying her order. “Of course, of course. I’ll take 5, with cherries, maple syrup on top, whipped cream, pe-pe-pea...nut butter and jelly pwease.”

Fluttershy blinked, staring blankly at the filly. “O-Okay... so, you want to have maple syrup on your pancakes?”

“Ye.”

After their quick breakfast, Bo and Poh had to pack up what little stuff they had before moving to Sweet Apple Acre. On their way, Fluttershy stopped by the orchard to see close friend, one that the two fillies already knew much to her ignorance.

“Hum, Sh-shlutt-erfly, what are we doing here? I mean, there is only dirt and shit, like literally.”

“The only dirt I see here is inside your head.” Bo hissed. At this point, his friend had to be saying all this crap voluntarily. There’s no way he’s that stupid when he’s spent this entire time simping for her, right? So why was he acting like an asshole?

Eugene tried to hide his hurt feeling on his face as he was quietly and slowly crying in pure agony. He then silently sang How could this happen to me? I’ve made my mistake. Got nowhere to run-

“Now, now. I am only going to talk to a friend. You’ll be staying over there in that house.” Fluttershy pointed to the house near the barn. She fluttered to an earth pony currently busing bucking the apple trees.

There she was, the great workhorse of Sweet Apple Acre, Applejack herself in the flesh. Bo Peep had an adorable smile on her face, one that was comparable to a child meeting their hero for the first time. “Oh my god, it’s Christmas!”

“Howdy, Fluttershy.” Applejack greeted once she noticed the approaching mare.

“Hi, Applejack. I, um don’t know if you’re aware of it, but um, I’m currently fostering two young fillies and, uh, I unfortunately have to go away on a trip.” Fluttershy explained awkwardly.

The earth pony blinked. “Hold on, yer fosterin’ two fillies?”

Fluttershy smiled awkwardly, blushing. “Um, yes but I don’t really have much time to explain. The train’s coming in a few minutes. I just need you to foalsit them for the day, Oh and they’ve already eaten their breakfast.”

Applejack nodded. “If it’s for one day, that’s fine by me. Granny Smith can take care of ‘em while Ah work on ta farm.”

Bo seized her chance and approached the workhorse, reaching out with her hoof. “Hi, Applejack. I-I, uh, I’m happy... to see, you, uh.” At that very moment, she realised she had no idea what she even wanted to say. A predicament made even worse by the fact that this was her favorite pony too. Her cheeks turned a little red as she awkwardly backed away.

To her relief, the awkward introduction didn’t make Applejack cringe. Instead, the earth pony shook the filly’s hoof, not caring about her fumbled greeting. “Well, it’s nice meetin’ ya too, girl. Ya know, Ah have a little sister who’s around yer age. Maybe ya could spend ta day with ‘er? Ah’m sure she’d like to have some extra company.”

Bo regained her composure quickly. “Uh, yeah sure. We could use some company too. Some lethal company.”

“I think you first date with Applejack is going well.” Eugene told to his friend while putting a hoof on his friend shoulder.

“Well... Let’s state the obvious, our chances to hook up with them are close to zero. It’s worth a shot, though...” Jon responded, taking his friend’s hoof away.

“Indeed, we have to be the cutest, most submissive and breedable fillies on this fu-c... city.” Eugene continued.

Jon responded with a sly smile. “Yeah, let’s go practice medicine... and sex. With grown ponies, right? We are thinking of fucking adults.” And just in case things don’t go as planned, they always have each other as a substitute, but they hope they won’t be that desperate.

After the presentations were over, Fluttershy left for Manehattan. Now, Bo and Poh were left in Sweet Apple Acre for the day with Applejack. The nice earth pony paused her apple bucking to guide them to the house, where they would meet her little sister; Apple Bloom.

The yellow filly immediately recognised the two strange foals from yesterday, puzzled as to why they were here in her family’s house. “Uh, sis? What are they doin’ ‘ere?”

“These two are gonna be ‘ere for ta day! Fluttershy’s leavin’ for Manehattan, so Ah hope ya can get along with ‘em.” Applejack explained. She quickly left afterward, returning to her duties on the farm much to Jon’s dismay. Eugene got to spend so much time with Fluttershy and he barely gets any with Aj. How unfair.

Apple Bloom locked eyes with the two newcomers.

“Howdy girls, Ah think we’ve met before yesterday at the school, right?” She greeted, smiling brightly.

“Yeah, yeah the Diamond Bitchara slave, we know the big deal, save your saliva for better use.” Poh answered, only later realising that his sentence was cursed, slowly blushing.

Apple Bloom’s eye twitched. “Yup, suuuureee...”

“See? Worthless, again!”

Bo sighed. “Don’t mind her, she’s genuinely retarded.”

“Um actually, I did an autistic test and I failed it, but let’s see YOUR retarded face when I’ll succeed it. You’ll save those meany words and that saliva far up your ass.” Eugene responded, slightly offended although those insult clearly didn’t get to his ponyfied friend.

“I don’t believe I’m the one with the head so far up the ass.” Jon responded with a smirk.

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. She didn’t really want to spend the whole day with them, but that was out of her control. Plus, they were blank flanks so it wouldn’t hurt to try to expand the Cutie Mark Crusaders. “Anyway, wanna check out our cool secret clubhouse?”

Bo Peep smiled, leaning over to her friend. “Bring a giant cross, dude. We’re gonna crucify someone.” Turning back to Apple Bloom. “Okay, we’ll join your cult.”

The yellow filly blinked. “It’s a secret society.”

“Same thing, obviously.”

Poh cocked her head back, staring intensely at the earth pony. “Hm-hm yeah, don’t take us for fools, you fool."

Apple Bloom groaned, already regretting her decision. These two were going to become the bane of her existence, that’s for sure.

Bo’s wings flopped to the sides helplessly. The pegasus filly tried to move them, one wing at a time. It was strange and unintuitive to control them, but she eventually got the hang of it, just enough to raise one and flip it over. Each individual strand could be bent like a finger and that gave her an idea. Using her newly acquired ability, she gave Apple Bloom the bird, smirking.

The young earth pony stared curiously at the wing. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means love and prosperity.” Bo clarified, transforming her smirk into an innocent smile. “I can’t wait to see your cool clubhouse!”

“Yeah, I can’t wait to see what all the delicious sharpie flavor you got in there! I just feel the urge to smell all of them.” Poh said with a trembling, excited and low voice.

Apple Bloom’s mouth opened, but all that came out of it was a confused grunt.

Bo Peep chuckled. “She eats glue. Keep her away from your schoolbag.”

“Tell me you have the strawberry one!” Poh screamed as he grabbed Apple Bloom’s shoulder.

The strong earth pony shook the filly off. “They’re not for smellin’ or eatin’, ya got that?”

“... But do you have at least the marshmallow one?”

Apple Bloom sighed, taking the lead towards the CMC’s clubhouse. “Noooo...”

“So, what is the point of that cult ... um sorry “secret society” of yours if there is nothing to eat?” Poh complained, much to the filly’s annoyance. With each passing second, she genuinely considered abandoning this idea and them by proxy. Bo, maybe but Poh? No...

“Ta goal is to get our cutie mark. Considerin’ yer love for sharpies, Ah’m guessin’ ya’ll get yer cutie mark soon...” Apple Bloom snarked. “Oh, an’ good luck hidin’ it from Diamond.”

Bo Peep giggled. “Oh yeah, I can see that happening. You’ll be spending the rest of your life sucking on sharpies instead of sucking on the good stuff. Your loss.” She continued to giggle, sounding more and more like an old granny.

“Maybe the sharpie is an indicator that I'm good at sucking thing? I’m only doing what I like after all.”

“You will not suck on mah sharpies.” Apple Bloom stated, slow and steady to get the message across. “If ya do, Ah’ll kick ya out of mah, Ah mean our clubhouse.”

Poh’s face darkened. “Oh, believe me, at midnight when you will be sleeping, you will hear some weird noise coming from your closet. And instead of Sweetie Belle watching you sleeping and admiring your precious little princess face, that will be me, and I will be sucking all these fucki... Im sorry these god damn sharpies one by one, taking my time, until there will be none. Do you hear me? This is a sucking warning dawg!”

But before her threat could hold any weight, Bo tripped Poh and she faceplanted. “Yeah, no. She’s all bark and no bite. I don’t think this is anything to worry about. No reason to be up at night about it.”

“I’m goin’ ta strangle you with me bare hands!”

Apple Bloom cringed. “Ah’m startin’ to think ya might be ta only pony welcome in our clubhouse. No offense to yer friend but she’s startin’ to freak me out.”

Bo looked at her friend and thought back to her threat wondering how that squeaky filly voice could even be taken seriously. “I don’t mind a solo career.” As the yellow earth pony resumed course, the pegasus’ eyes accidentally rested on her flank, slowly hypnotised by it. D'oh, quelle cul!

Moving along, the trio finally arrived at the secret clubhouse near Sweet Apple Acre. A nice and calm place where they would be sure to not be bothered by anypony. A good open field with few trees around, providing a nice zone to spot any incoming danger. Truly a great spot for a secret hideout.

Apple Bloom took the two fillies inside, thinking about perhaps getting them to join the Crusaders and help them earn their cutie marks.

Since Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo weren’t here yet, it was up to her and only her to initiate these newcomers to the ways of their secret society. Well, the one that will listen to her that is.

The clubhouse was littered with crayons and papers, one detailing a makeshift map of Ponyville. In the back lied three podiums, one for each of the founding members of this club. There were also various items, some unused and others broken beyond repair showcasing the history of the CMC’s many activities. All of them were unsuccessful.

Bo and Poh sat on the two desks meant for them. Leftovers from a previous operation most likely.

“Well, now that we’re ‘ere, Ah’ll tell ya real quick ‘bout ta Cutie Mark Crusaders.” What proceeded was a somewhat long info dump that the two friends already knew from watching the first season of the show. As such, Poh got unfortunately distracted.

She was indeed sleeping with her face on the table. Her saliva was slowly drooling from her mouth as she didn’t listen one thing. She was so unconscious that she didn’t realise that a pen got deeply into her left nose.

Bo got a little daring and since she had nothing better to do, she had a bit of fun with her lady parts unbeknownst to the yellow filly.

“Hey, are you two even listenin’?!” Apple Bloom shouted disappointedly.

“Hum yes of course we were!” Poh exclaimed, dazed and confused as the pen fell out of her nose and onto the table. “Napoléon Bonaparte was a French conqueror, and his reign started the 18 of May 1804 and finished at his death the 22 June of 1815.”

“Who ta hay is Napoléon?! Ya didn’t even listen! Urgh!” Apple Bloom slammed her face on the desk in defeat. “How can ya two be Crusaders if ya don’t even know our history?”

Bo Peep slammed her pencil down, looking at what she had written on the paper. The full history of the CMC’s from memory. It looked... rather bad considering she’s not used to writing with a hoof instead of a hand. God forbid she tried to use her mouth. “Yeah, while my friend was snoozing, I took some notes. I have no idea if they’re even readable so...”

Apple Bloom mustered a tired smile, raising her head as her body was pumped back with energy. “Great! At least one of ya cared ‘nough.”

“Awesome dude! Can you copy your notes for me? I don’t understand shit.” Poh awkwardly requested.

Jon immediately covered his notes. “Ta gueule Louïk. Tout ce que tu fais est nul. Ugh, shouldn’t you already know? Remember in season 1 that one episode... with Diamond Tiara in it.”

“Spoiler! Um no, we are already past that... Great job at destroying the 4th wall tho.” Eugene said as he tried to peek at his friend’s note.

Thankfully, Apple Bloom came and moved the initiation along to the next stage. “Well since ya supposedly know our history, now all that’s left is to get yer cape! We made some in case we got somepony interested in joinin’ us.” The filly presented two capes stitched by them as judged by their rough but charming looks.

Bo blinked, gazing blankly at the capes. In truth, she was rather excited to get one herself. It was like holding a mythical artefact, made even better by the fact that its otherworldly. Once Discord returned in season 3, she’d ask to keep the cape once they get back on Earth. “Oh, ok. That’s it? No other step we need to take?”

“Dude, I fucking look like Napoléon with that shit on. Bow down you peasant and obey me!” Poh requested with an authoritarian and powerful voice as he proudly standing on his chair, mid-posing and mimicking a sword with his left hoof.

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. “There ain’t no hierarchy in the CMC’s.”

Bo Peep smirked. “Sorry, dude. No power fantasies for you.”

“Ma patrie, mon pays, mes conquêtes, tous anéanties ! My reign is over!” Poh exclaimed as she slowly gets down on her chair, a little bit salty to be honest as his roleplay got cut right at the beginning.

Apple Bloom, however, had a bright idea. “That’s a great idea, actually! We could get our cutie marks in, uh...”

“Roleplaying? LARPing?” Bo proposed.

“Yup! In exactly that!”

Poh began to feel mad with power. The blood of Napoleon coursed through his veins, begging him to conquer and expand. “All of my powers are back! The world is now at my feet! Let’s invade Poland first. Are you ready comrade?”

“Slow down there, we’re not ready for the showers yet.” Bo warned sarcastically.

Apple Bloom trotted outside, turning around to instruct the two fillies to wait while she fetched her friends for the next CMC operation. Meanwhile, Poh had another operation in mind. Operation TITS. Tactical invasion of Twilight Sparkle.

“So, um... If I am Napoléon Bonaparte, are you going to be Jeanne d’Arc? Alias, “the pucelle”, y’a know, just for the lore.” Poh asked, as she poke her friend on the elbow.

Bo Peep sighed. “Whatever, I’m going to head out. I don’t really feel like LARPing as French conquerors with young schoolgirls.”

“Shut up pucelle, I'm going to burn you in the fire as a witch like the other!” Poh continued on with her roleplaying much to the dismay of her friend.

Unimpressed, Bo Peep left the clubhouse but not before giving the bird to her longtime friend using her wings. Oh, that felt so good after holding it all in.

Mimicking another voice, Poh asked “Sir, what can we do?”

“Well, there is nothing we can do ...” She answered, depressed.

On this sunny day, morale was getting rather low for the two fillies, especially for the more excited one of the two. They were heading seemingly nowhere in this world of pastel ponies and magic, simply searching for a place that wasn’t the CMC’s clubhouse. It felt like they were going against Fluttershy’s wishes to be out of Sweet Apple Acre, not that they mind of course, they were adults; they can handle themselves just fine.

“Mission TITS in operation. Bo Peep, do you have the target in visual?” Eugene formally requested as he would stick to the walls in his proximity and look at every direction.

The ponified Jon blinked. “The fuck’s mission TITS? You didn’t tell me what we’re supposed to do.”

“You fool, it is a contraction for Tactical Invasion of Twilight Sparkle! What do you think we are doing Sherlock? Baking some croissants? We will infiltrate the home of that bookseller and reduce her to slavery!” Eugene excitedly answered as he already felt how that pony is going to improve everyone life, but mostly his.

Jon’s eyes lit up. “Oh, wow! Sounds like a great plan! Tell me, how are we going to reduce a pony that is stronger than us and amazing at magic to slavery?” he said, letting some sarcasm slip through his voice.

“With surprise and a touch of baseball bat in top of that, obviously. I mean, duh.”

The transformed human rolled his eyes. “Well alright then, find us a baseball bat and try to get the drop on her. Oh yeah, did I forget to mention we’re like half Twilight’s size? Are you trying to get us killed?”

“Ok new idea, I make a diversion and you jump on her neck to pierce her eyes out. Then, we will both go on her neck to choke her out.” Eugene proposed, drawing his plan on the dirt.

Unimpressed, Jon wiped the plan away with one swipe. “ASSUMING, we’re not launched to the fucking stratosphere. You do realise she has telekinesis?”

“Have you already forgot about the element of surprise?”

“Hello two fillies, what are you talking about? Are you planning a surprise for me?”

The jovial and curious voice of their intended target sent them in state of paralysis. Jon yelped as all his muscles froze. In the end, the one who truly had the element of surprise was none other than Twilight Sparkle, interrupting the fillies’ planning session. “Now that I think about it, I never saw you two before. Are you from Ponyville?”

Bo Peep shook the sweat off her forehead, praying for her friend to not do something stupid for once. “No, we’re from Manehattan, I guess.”

“Ah, ‘man’ehattan, got it, that’s a good one.” Poh commented, smiling dumbly much to Twilight and Bo’s confusion.

“That’s an actual city from the show, dumbass.” Bo whispered into her ear.

“Oh, well in that case, welcome to Ponyville! I hope you’ll like it here.” Twilight exclaimed in a welcoming tone. “If you’re ever looking for books, head on to the Golden Oak! It’s the building right behind me.” The lavender unicorn pointed to the tree shaped library that doubled as a home for her.

Bo Peep gazed in admiration, feeling the urge to go inside grow stronger with each passing second. She always wanted to visit the Golden Oak ever since she first saw the show. To come inside would be a dream come true for the former human. On top of that, Twilight Sparkle had to be her second favorite pony. Twilight and the Golden Oak before her. A match made in heaven!

“Sure! We were just about to go in. I love to read.” Bo said, smiling innocently.

“Nerd.”

Twilight’s face brightened up. “You do?! Wow, it’s been a while since I’ve seen a filly interested in reading! I was about to leave to run some errands, but I’ll postpone it to help you find what you want.”

“Alrighty then!” Bo accepted, excitedly following the unicorn to the library. She couldn’t wait to finally visit the one location she wanted to see most in this entire world. A cozy and warm library that should be filled with all sorts of interesting books. Whether it’d be Daring Do adventures to information about Equestria and magic, she’ll take a gander. She’ll learn all about the lore! Mathew Pathew style.

Poh sighed, forced to give up her Machiavellian plan, as she slowly lay down on the ground, with and depressed and sad emotion on her face. "I guess I’m going to stay here and wait, as no one want to roleplay the French Independence with me.”

Now left alone without her best friend, Poh sat down under a tree, watching the library without a purpose. How could this happen to me? I’ve made my mistakes, got nowhere to run...

“Hey!”

Suddenly, a familiar filly voice took her out of her depressive episode. It was Apple Bloom, returning as promised with her two friends, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. The only problem was that they were expected at the clubhouse and certainly not out here in the middle of town. Rightfully angry, the crusaders approached the lone earth pony demanding answers.

“Ah thought Ah told ya to wait at ta clubhouse!” Apple Bloom exclaimed.

“It doesn’t matter anymore; thy French monarchy doesn’t interest anypony. I am not worth no one’s time anyway.” Poh answered while slowly kicking the ground with her front hoof.

Scootaloo cringed. “Are you sure we should really...”

“Ah’m... not so sure anymore. Ah mean, they don’t seem opposed to bein’ Crusaders. They’re just, uh, special Ah guess.” Apple Bloom answered honestly, feeling torn between leaving them be or continuing the CMC initiation.

Sweetie Belle stared at the depressed earth pony poking the ground, unsure herself. “Well, they do seem special. We should give them a try... wherever the other one is.”

Apple Bloom suddenly realised that Bo Peep was in fact missing and she was probably not in the clubhouse. “Hey Poh, do ya know where yer friend went? We kind need ya both to finish yer Cutie Mark Crusaders initiation.”

Poh pushed pebbles around, not even raising her eyes to meet theirs. “Yeah, she is somewhere in the library with that “more intellectual than me” pony. Don’t mind me, I'm actually counting the gravel on the ground. Don’t dare walk around me, I'm now at 87.”

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “C’mon, is there any filly around here who’s interested in the actual cool stuff?”

“Books can be interesting.” Sweetie Belle argued, although it fell on deaf ear for her two other friends had more important priorities.

“Well, that just won’t do! Ah told ya two to wait fo’ us and ya didn’t listen! Ah was only gone for five minutes.” Apple Bloom exclaimed in frustration. “We won’t leave ‘till yer friend comes back.”

“Hey BO! This ugly filly and this handicapped one just told me I’m not cool enough.” Poh shouted with all her lungs.

Before the crusaders could process the uncalled-for insult thrown their way, the windows of the Golden Oak opened, revealing a small green filly poking her head out confused. “Really? I’d say they’re half right.”

Poh kept on pushing pebbles around, amassing a real army. “Well, I guess I'm going to fuck somewhere else. Ah! One hundred. I have more than you do, lOoOoser.”

Much to her dismay, Bo wasn’t impressed with her newly acquired army. “Winners don’t LARP, they read books, make friends, get big ass castles, take villains down, take the crown and thrive!”

“Ok, try winning with a book against me with a baseball bat. Not so smart after all eh?”

Bo Peep tilted her head, smirking. “How are you going to hit me with a baseball bat? You don’t even have fingers. I have wings and I can fly! You’ll never be able to hit me! Once I can use them...”

“I swear, when we will go back home to our place, I’m going to choke the fuck out of you and make you submissive and breedable. Do I make you remember that you can’t masturbate without these fucking fingers, loOoOser.”

Bo laughed. “Have you already forgotten? I can masturbate without my hands!”

“Yeah, and you tried a toilet brush you disgusting decrepit weirdo.”

“What? Since when did I do that? I’ll admit I did get off to Diamond but I used no brush to do it. I used the power of my mind and my secret technique to pull it off.” Bo Peep waved her hooves around to accentuate her mystical power. “The pony who’s actually the disgusting decrepit weirdo... is you!”

“Ok professor Xavier, can you use thy power to shut the fuck up and avoid this shitty conversation we are having? Or perhaps you have dicks in your mouth and can’t stop saying shit?”

Twilight popped behind the green pegasus, glaring at the filly and her friend. “What is going on here?”

Bo flinched, quickly putting on an innocent look. “Um, n-nothing! We’re just playing!”

Poh mimicked a slit cut under her throat as a dead sign to her friend, before expressing an innocent face in front of Twilight. “Yeah, we are just ... playing.” She answered, depressed and anger hiding in her voice.

The lavender sighed. “Girls, those are no words for fillies. How do you even know about ‘masturbation’?” A good point indeed, one that made Bo Peep blush and avoid her gaze.

“Hum, Trixie?” Poh lied in an unconvincing way.

Twilight narrowed her eyes, clearly seeing through the filly. “I think you need to learn some proper discipline. Whoever raised you clearly didn’t watch over you enough. Somepony’s are simply a bad influence and it’s up to the parents to show you the right way to act in public.”

Having her feeling deeply hurt, she couldn’t even find a counter argument. Poh was desperately looking at Twilight Sparkle, with pure panic in her eyes. “Hum ... eh, I don’t ... Huh.”

Nervous, Bo Peep chose to leave the Golden Oak, leaving a “sorry” for Twilight as she did. All the while, the Cutie Mark Crusaders watched on in absolute shock.

“So... we’re still enlisting them?” Scootaloo asked.

Apple Bloom blinked, eyeballing the green pegasus. “Ah mean... m-maybe? Bo seems a little more favorable though.” Clearing her thoughts, she ultimately chose to go along with her original plan. Maybe these two fillies weren’t as bad as they initially seem? A good old case of there being more than meets the eye.

The rest of the day was a blur. They returned to the clubhouse to complete their initiation, finally receiving their own capes, the mark of their new vow to the CMC’s. Afterward, Bo Peep returned to Sweet Apple Acre with Apple Bloom for the rest of the day whilst Poh mysteriously disappeared, probably to mope in a random corner of Ponyville.

Once the sun set, Fluttershy returned to pick her fillies up only to find Bo alone at the farm. When questioned about her friend, the pegasus simply shrugged. “Who knows? She’s probably amassing another army of pebbles to overthrow me.” she mused.

“Oh dear, we should find her before it gets too dark. I don’t want to leave him alone at night, it’s so cold out there.” Fluttershy softly suggested, slowly taking off. She stopped to see if the small pegasus would follow her. Instead of flapping alongside her, the filly sprouted out her wings and simply stared there, puzzled.

“Wait! How do I fly again?” Bo asked, flapping her wings in a disorganised manner.

“Oh? You don’t know how to fly?” Fluttershy returned to the ground, surprised to have found another filly that couldn’t fly. As far as she knew, Scootaloo was the only one having this problem because of her small wings, but Bo Peep didn’t have this problem evidently. Her wings were normal sized, good enough to take off so... where’s the problem?

“I never learned to fly, that’s the truth. You don’t suppose I’m... disabled?!”

Fluttershy’s eyes widened. “Oh no no no! You don’t seem to have any problem, um, f-from what I can see. I’m sure you’ll be able to learn in no time since you’re older but, um... I’m not really good at teaching other ponies so...”

“Nah, it’s fine by me. Just show me how and I’ll follow along. You’ll see, I’m a fast learner.” Bo Peep answered, puffing her chest with pride.

“Alright then, follow my lead.” Graciously leaping in the air, Fluttershy calmly flapped her wings, maintaining an upright posture. “Let’s start by flying in place. It should be the best place to start, I think.”

Bo Peep stared at her wings, deep in her thought. After a bit of thinking, she nodded, ready to start her first ever flight. Finally, one of her biggest dreams was coming true, the dream to fly and reach for the clouds. Even better since she knew she could touch them and even walk on them. With one decisive motion, she jumped and flapped her wings. However, the problems immediately arose.

As a former grounded specie, the mere act of flying was alien to her. She tipped over and fell. Determined to make it work, she tried again and again until her sixth try where she finally managed to fly in place. “Wooohoo! I did it! I’m flying!” she exclaimed in a foalish fit of joy.

Fluttershy smiled, such a gentle expression. “That’s great! Now try to come over to me. You’ll see, flying is like learning how to trot. It becomes natural after a few tries. To move while flying you need to orient your body in the direction you want to go, so just lean over to me and it will work.”

“O-Ok.” Bo was nervous. Trying out new things is terrifying but oh so fun. She already was embarrassed to have tripped and fall many times before the gentle pegasus and hoped she wouldn’t bust her muzzle on a rock or something. Her fearful thoughts were powerful, but not fast enough to destroy her confidence for she already pivoted, finding herself moving surprisingly fast towards the mare. “Woah!”

The filly flew straight into Fluttershy’s torso, caught in her warm embrace. “That was very good! Certainly fast too... Now, let’s return home at a steady pace. It will only get easier from here.”

As the sky darkened, the two ponies, were meticulously preparing the supper, with the conscience of this filly mysteriously gone without a trace. Then, a sudden knock on the door drew attention of the two to the origin of the sound.

“Who is it?” Fluttershy asked softly, flying over to her front door.

In front of the door was standing the shadowy figure of Poh, with shame and sadness in her face.

“Hello ma, um mom ... Sorry by my absence, I was so captivated by the depth of Twilight Sparkle’s library. I didn’t see the time fly. Are you ok if I go back tomorrow? I have a bunch of books I really want to read! I, of course asked Twilight agreement before asking to you. Can I? Pwease?”

Bo’s eyes were wide open. “Woah... What the hell happened to her?” she muttered, feeling rather suspicious of this sudden change in behavior.

Fluttershy, on the other hoof, was thrilled to see her back, mostly relieved. “That’s okay. But for now, I’d like if you helped me with dinner like your nice friend over here.” She pointed to the green pegasus who proudly opened her wings, showing them off to Poh.

“Indubitably that I will, mom.”

Bo Peep scoffed. “Smart ass...”

“My unmatched perspicacity coupled with sheer indefatigability makes me a feared opponent in any realm of pony endeavor. So, watch yar tone. LoOoser.” Poh joyfully shouted.

“Uh...” Fluttershy stood there for a few seconds, bewildered by the new vocabulary of the otherwise potty mouthed filly. “W-Well, that’s good but, um, could you please help us prepare tonight’s dinner?”

Bo Peep chuckled. “Tourner dans le vide.”

In the dark of the great garden near Canterlot's castle, Discord's statue stood lonely amongst the plants and critters roaming about. A strange four-legged thing stopped before the statue, its yellow eyes glowing in the dark. It stayed patiently before the statue. Whispers entered its ears and crawled into its brain, forever engraved. And into the night, the thing walked down the mountain.

6. Holy Macaroni! We have a Divine Mission!

Another day, another way to screw up everything. That was the mentality of those two fillies and more particularly with Poh, who was still deeply sleeping while her friend was preparing to go to school like a responsible foal.

The sun had barely risen, a time Eugene had never seen before for he always woke up unbelievably late, sometime spending up to 20 hours asleep. But now that Discord gave him a new life, he had to change his habits whether he wanted to or not. He was not a grown man anymore, he was a filly, a child that couldn’t get anything without an adult’s approval. It sucked but hey, that’s life in general.

“Poh, you are going to be late for school! You need to hurry and get your things ready.” Flutttershy calmly said as she was knocking on the filly’s door.

“Oh, am I? So sorry, ma.” Poh said while she was quickly preparing her stuff and trying to brush her hair with the brush her mom gave to her recently. It was much harder than expected, because she had no fingers obviously. “Argh, there are some knots in my hair! Mom, could you help me pwease?”

While Fluttershy was busy brushing Poh’s mane, Bo left the cottage to sit outside, basking in the warm sunlight. The town was slowly coming to life over the distance as the shadows were cast away by the sun. The small pegasus smiled, feeling a bit nostalgic as she watched the world open up to her. It reignited an adventurous spark in her, one she’s forgotten ever since she left to live in a concrete jungle.

“Look, ma, I'm really sowwy for how I act pretty much evewday. I can’t just help myself and I must be a horrible filly to take care of. I ... I ...Twilight told me evewthing.” Poh calmly said, on the verge of crying and looking down on the ground. This new body was making her much more sensitive than before. It felt awful to act like a jerk and cry like a little baby afterward.

Fluttershy stopped brushing momentarily. “O-Oh, I don’t think-”

“Can you stop with the baby talk? You’re not fooling anyone nor is it as cute as you think!” Bo screamed from outside.

Poh’s eyes widened, anxiously gazing over the kind mare. “Shut up, you are breaking my +1 stats in charisma, you dummy.”

“You have –1 charisma. Does the +1 even matter?” At this point, Bo Peep returned inside to berate his friend some more, letting out all her repressed anger.

“Hold on now, girls. School is starting in fifteen minutes. You need to hurry up.” Fluttershy interjected to save the situation before it got any worse... as always. Still, she had quickly realised just how out of her depths she was. These two fillies were too hard to handle, especially in their current behavior. If only there was a way to make them more “civilised”...

Another day, another wanking fest in the mare’s toilets. Bo Peep and Poh were getting better at keeping their heat in check thanks to the tried-and-true method of masturbation. They were really good, with Bo Peep relearning her special “no hand” technique that allowed her to jizz everywhere she wanted, at any time. She branded it, ATAWAP (Anytime, Anywhere, Any pussy). She will soon be the goon queen.

“It was really nice, but they should really clean the brush after using it. It’s fucking disgusting dawg.” Poh confess after her gooning was a successful operation. One that brought out the joys of the mind and the body alike. “How about you, bro?”

The quiet sound of a sticky liquid falling down the toilet bowl answered her question. “Ah... Ah, fuck.”

“I don’t know if I'm more disgusted at myself to use this shit to masturbate, or the fact that your jizz reached the roof of the bathroom.”

Bo raised her head, noticing the stains going above the stall somehow. Her squirts were powerful, more so than even a fully grown mare, which was cause for concern. “Be more disgusted at yourself, please. I have to dodge the falling cum to keep my mane clean.”

“Ok and try to imagine the shame of the janitor who will be cleaning your mess. At least when I'm done, I clean myself ... Literally.” Poh stuck the brush back into her marehood, cleaning it in a rather rugged way.

“Meh, I’ll just use toilet paper... Aw, shit.”

“Dude, you're ejaculating as hard as a fire hose, you're destroying that shit with your stream, you prick! Are you going to be featured with these ASMR videos of machine cutting metal with an ultra-powerful water jet?”

“I can’t believe my juicy pussy is stronger than my dick.” Bo stared blankly at the empty toilet paper roll, realising she should have looked before choosing this stall. Now with a wet vagina, she had to find a way to dry it off before class would resume. The brush? No way. She’d never touch Eugene’s goon, not even with a ten-inch pole.

Her tail? Won’t really help, it’s just moving the goon somewhere else. No choice, Bo pulled a move worthy of an action movie hero. She unlocked her stall, dropped to the floor and rolled to the adjacent stall, making sure that her vagina didn’t touch the floor. There, she found salvation in the form of a full toilet paper roll.

“Ah, my pretty pussy shall glisten after this.”

After their physical expression of pleasure and pure beastly dedication, they returned to their class to continue their learning about whatever Cheerilee was talking about, they didn’t really pay attention for this was all basic elementary level stuff. They already knew everything they were taught here. Still, the silver lining was in the homework and exams. Super easy stuff, they don’t even need to study! Except for history...

At the end of the day, it was the moment where their mom would arrive to pick them up. Excited as usual at the sight of that yellow pony, the fillies waved her on. She came today with a ... let's say, an unexcepted surprise.

“Why Rarity?” Bo muttered like a curious monkey.

Poh, however, dreaded the mere sight of the white unicorn, the pony she liked the least. “Oh no! Not that bi-... I mean, that unpleasant individual.” She deeply thoughts before answering.

“It is for your own good, I promise you she’s really kind and knows how to entertain you with fun activities!” Fluttershy reassured while booping her two fillies’ noses.

The green pegasus instinctively rubbed her nose. “Entertain this.” Bo farted loudly, a powerful sound she didn’t even know she had it in her. “Not what I was expecting...”

“And they say I'm the retarded one of the two. Yikes.” Said Poh.

Poor Rarity cringed, already having a bad feeling about her friend’s idea.

“Don’t worry, it will be only for a day. But if you two don’t cooperate to upgrade your behaviour with strangers, maybe we will have to add more sessions every weekend. Do you promise me you will be nice with Miss Rarity?”

Bo put on a forced smile. “Tee hee, this will be easy. Not for you, Poh. ‘Cause unlike you, I studied for this test.”

“What about that flatulence you uncontrollably ripped while our mom was talking to us? Get your priority in check bro, nopony need to know by heart the twelves letter of the alphabet, you nerd.”

“Hey, ripping ass is funny, okay?”

So, off to Carousel Boutique it is. The boutique was chic on the outside, quite extravagant too. It was a place that just screamed “Rarity”. Like tourists on a trip to the country of their dreams, Bo and Poh stared in joy as they got to visit another important location in Ponyville.

“Yo, it’s Carousel Boutique, dude. We are about to discipline our asses.” Bo snarked.

“Can’t wait to see if her clothes are prettier than her face yo. Or else, we will have a reaaaally bad time there.” Poh added.

Fluttershy giggled. “I’d say they are both pretty! But I believe that her generosity is the prettiest thing about Rarity.”

“Exactly, darling. I make pretty clothes, but I take especially good care of my appearance.” Rarity exclaimed in a defensive tone.

“No proof, I don’t believe it. Plus, if Rarity is really that generous by helping others in need, what are you, Fluttershy? Are you not taking care of us?” Poh proudly answered.

“I am taking care of you, am I? N-Not that it matters, you’ll see that Rarity is the most generous pony I know.” Fluttershy responded, trying to keep her voice confident, glancing awkwardly at her unicorn friend who seemed less than pleased.

“I'll show them generosity.” Rarity gritted her teeth. “But first, I suppose a little lesson in respect would do them some good...”

“Greuha.” Poh said depresed, as she didn’t care about Rarity, or what she just said.

"GREUHA!" Bo Peep shouted too, with a ‘little bit’ more vigor than her friend.

Fluttershy and Rarity stared in pure incomprehension, confused as to what these two fillies just said. Nevertheless, the pegasus had an idea in mind and she would go through it, not just for these two foals’ good but for hers as well. Taking care of them is tiring, much too tiring for a single mother. If they could be disciplined, that would at least alleviate some of the difficulties with raising them. She wasn’t willing to abandon them just now, not when they were so young.

“Aight imma head out.” Poh said as she saw Fluttershy slowly and discreetly trying to leave the discussion. The filly tried to leave with her, but unfortunately, she was stopped by Rarity and even her own best friend.

“Where do you think you’re going, mate?” Bo smirked. “You need some disciplinary action.”

“No, I wasn’t trying to go anywhere ... Hum, I just saw a pretty flower far far away. Can I go get it pwease Rwarity?” Poh panicky answered as she was trying to look as natural as possible. “This will take literally like five seconds, c'mon bro.”

Rarity stared at her with a less than impressed look. “Come on now, darling. I’m sure Fluttershy has a reason for bringing you two here today, a reason I can already see by now.”

“O-Of course.” Fluttershy sheepishly said, embarrassed by the filly’s behavior. “I wanted you to teach them some, um, manners. They’re quite rowdy, so I was thinking that maybe you could do something about it.”

“Seems tough but... Don’t you worry, darling! You’ve come to the right mare! I’ll get them to act like the Canterlot elite in no time for your sake!” Rarity confidently exclaimed, gesturing for the two green fillies to come inside. She didn’t believe they would make this much progress in so little time, but anything to please her close friend.

“How much is it for her ... let's say, service, Fluttershy?” Poh asked, sexually intrigued.

“Nothing, it’s for free.” Rarity answered, stroking her mane. “It’ll be my pleasure.”

Bo leaned over to her friend. “When she turns around, get ready to admire the juicy pussy.”

“Too late, already busted years ago. Not my proudest fap to be honest.”

Thankfully, the two mares didn’t hear their not so foal-friendly comments.

“Go go Gadget, clopping! Shit...” And that one, they did hear. But they didn’t know what any of that meant, so Bo’s reputation was saved, even though it was already tarnished a while back.

Now inside the boutique, Fluttershy waved the fillies goodbye before making her leave.

“Are you going to leave us already, pwease! DON’T!” As Poh ran and grab on Fluttershy legs and slowly crying on the floor.

Bo, however, had just about had enough of her friend’s shenanigans and slapped some sense into her, literally. “Go go Gadget, shut the fuck up, you clingy bitch.” With a powerful slap, she got Fluttershy to free herself from the clingy earth pony’s grasp.

“Oh dear, they sure seem dependant on your, darling.” Rarity commented.

Poh stopped making any sound and meticulously get up as she had an intense stare down with her now number one enemy. “What the fuck did you say to me you little shit?!” Poh screamed as she punched Bo on the face with her front left hoof.

“I will externalize all my anger on you.” Bo responded calmly, stroking her bruised cheek.

“Bo, I'm going to cut you down, break you apart, splay the gore out of you from across the stars, I will grind you down until the very sparks of mercy. My hooves shall relish ending you here and now!” Poh exclaimed as she slowly cracked her neck, as a menacing sound.

“Thy ass shall glisten before my coooock...”

“Girls, that’s enough!” Pulling the two fillies apart, Rarity groaned, now getting a good taste of what it’s like to be Fluttershy currently.

“Oh dear, um, a-are you sure you can make them more civilised?” Fluttershy whimpered, starting to sense that they were getting worse. Much, much worse than the day she found them. They were getting comfortable, and that was not good. Somepony had to step their hoof down and tell them to stop, and that pony was Rarity.

“Oh, why certainly! I can never say no to a friend, darling! You’ll see, there’ll be some improvement by the end of this afternoon!” Rarity cringed, looking behind to see that her baby sister was peeking from the stairs, looking rather displeased.

“Oh come on!”

As it turned out, Rarity didn’t have the time to spare, but Sweetie Belle did, reluctantly. As such, it was her duty to civilise these two little rugrats.

“Using my deduction skills as a detective tells me she has quite possible never had sex.” Bo exclaimed out of the blue. “I like these brown fabrics. It’s like building brown bricks in Minecrap. It’s the most fun you can possibly have-”

Sweetie Belle groaned before the abrasive display in the boutique, Apple Bloom’s suffering was now being transferred to her and her big sister. She had never met a more insufferable duo in her entire life than Bo Peep and Poh, two names she’d come to dread. Bo was noticeably calmer but had her occasional brain farts while Poh was basically sniffing hers all day long. There is no word to start describing her stupidity, it is even impressing that she got this far to be honest.

“Ugh, can we stop talking about brown bricks and a ‘minecrap’, please? I’m trying to get you to have a nice dinner and act normal!”

Poh’s eyes turned red. “Hum! Firstly, I was kinda hurt by the word you just used to describe us, and frankly I would like you to apologize for that statement you called me and my dear friend. We do not define ourselves as normal ponies, but rather French conqueror. So, say sorry you filthy and meany bitch!”

Sweetie couldn’t believe her ears; never had she heard such vitriol spewed from the mouth of a foal. If they had any good parents, they’d have their flanks kicked for having such a colorful vocabulary. “Excuse me? Excuse me?! Why would I apologise to you when you just insulted me?!”

“You just said we weren’t normal, so that my turn to chew your brain out bitch! You say sorry and I will.” Poh exclaimed, prompting her friend Bo Peep to do the same.

“Yeah, we’re going to kick gum and chew ass... and we’re all out of ass.”

Then, a voice echoed from downstairs. “Sweetie Belle? Is everything okay in there?”

“No, she is being a huge bitch with us. Can you spank her extra hard dawg?” Poh shouted out to the white mare.

“Ella es una grande puta.” Bo added with a less terribly Spanish accent.

“What?!” Rarity exclaimed in dread, rushing into her baby sister’s bedroom. “Sweetie! Is that true?”

Sweetie’s face turned red with anger. “No! They’re turning you against me!”

“You have done that yourself.” Bo Peep corrected.

“Sauron has manipulated you.” Poh added.

Rarity facehoofed, shaking her head in despair. Even when they were out of her hooves, they were distressing her. “Look, darlings, I have an important dress to complete for tonight, so I’d like you to cause no trouble while I’m working.”

Poh frowned, shaking her hoof dismissively. “Yeah, yeah whatever we don’t care go back to your stuff. But before, just tell her to speak less, she is being annoying, like really.”

“No, she’s being annoying!” Sweetie shouted whilst she pointed an accusatory hoof to the green culprit.

“All of you stop!” Rarity yelled. “I can’t afford to be distracted all the time by such petty matters. If you can’t make amends, then you should leave the boutique until I finish the dress.”

“Damn you Peep, always getting away with stuff, you sneaky bitch.” Poh whisper to her friend as Rarity were scolding them.

“Alright, we will stop and act, um, civilised.” Bo Peep said in a neutral tone, fiddling with her wings. “You see, what we need is a little stimulus. In other words, I want a pet.”

Poh crossed her front hooves. “What does she really mean, is that she wants to be pet. In that particular region right there.” she pointed to the peepee region.

“Um, n-no. I’m not horny right now.”

Rarity snapped. “That’s enough! You two go outside to get some fresh air at the park! That’ll teach you to appreciate the little things.”

Kicked out of the boutique, Bo Peep and Poh were taken to the park and left there, with only Sweetie Belle as a begrudging supervisor. The place was nice, calm and ponies were sparse around here. A nice area to relax, if only these two knew what that word even meant. Sweetie’s suffering continued for a while longer until something rather interesting came to her rescue. It was a stray dog, noticeably lacking a collar. It was anorexic and rather lanky, its skeleton visible through the few layers of skin and muscle present. Despite that, it looked oddly happy and relaxed. The cute little animal trotted to them, seeking company. It stopped before a pile of poop on the ground and sniffed it with great interest.

“Oh, look! It’s a dog!” Sweetie Belle pointed out, putting an end to the nonsensical conversation of the two fillies.

“Alright! Looks like we’ve got ourselves a pet.” Bo Peep said, approaching the animal curiously. “But it looks a bit... sad.”

“Hey, doggie, what your name little boy? Do you have a name on your collar?” Said Poh as she caressed the rather unhealthy but excited animal on the head.

“Are you blind or something? That dog doesn’t have a collar. It’s a stray dog.” Bo corrected. “Oh! That means we get to name him!”

Sweetie Belle saw a golden opportunity. With the two rowdy fillies distracted by the dog, she had an opening to leave for a while and cool her mind from all this bile spewed in her ears. “Oh, it’s so cute indeed! If you don’t mind, I’ll go to, uh, relieve myself, yeah...” She said, smiling awkwardly as she rushed off, making a beeline for Sugar Cube Corner.

Bo Peep and Poh continued to be engrossed by their furry new friend until there was nopony left in sight. Now that they were completely alone with this dog, something unexpected happened. The wind stopped howling and the animal stood up on its hind legs like a human. It’s drooling tongue retracting in his mouth as his face took on a more neutral and calmer look. He now commanded respect, despite giving out the weird and trippy feeling of seeing a dog acting like a man.

“Greeting to meet you my dear compatriots. I know you are Jon and Eugene of planet Earth. I effectively don’t possess any identifier in my possession, but the Great One calls me Jean-Augustin. I am an archangel sent to warn you two about the imminent nuclear danger of Kim Jon-Un.” He said as he waved his mystical paw covered in dirt and poop around.

Jon’s eyes widened. “Oh fuck, Jean-Augustin is real. I thought it was all jokes.”

Eugene bowed as best she could before the mighty presence. “Oh my, dear archangel, please have mercy, we are not worthy of your greatness. Please elicit the reason of thy great presence as we will promise to follow thy path that is requested by the great...?”

Jean-Augustin nodded. “The Great One you shall know him as. Your mission is to go to Canterlot to retrieve the mighty iron gauntlet that will allow you to sway Kim Jon-Un not to start a nuclear war with America.”

“Okay?” Jon scratched his mane with his wings as makeshift fingers. “I thought we would just enjoy our time here at least until Discord sends us back, but I guess we’ll find your iron gauntlet and save the world.”

“Praise thy holy and mighty missive the archangel Jean-Augustin requested us to accomplish. Don’t you worry, divine apparition, as we will enact the fight will all our blood and sweat for the success of that mission. You wisely chose the correct people for that request, and we won’t disappoint you. We agreed and sign with your own blood.” Poh panickily answered, as she was shivering, lying and looking on the ground.

Jean-Augustin stretched out his arms, beautiful angelic wings sprouted from his back. “We have little time. We must convince your foster mother, Fluttershy, to take us to Canterlot to save your world from nuclear devastation. Let us go now. C’est pour le travail.”

Jon cocked his head back, now fully convinced to participate in this endeavor. “Oh, si c’est pour le travail...”

Out of the blue, Jean-Augustin retracted his wings and resumed his dog persona, hiding any semblance of higher intelligence in an instant. Sweetie Belle emerged from a nearby bush, oblivious to what had just happened. She had a smoothie in hoof, looking much happier than before.

“Okay, well, we’re about done here! Let’s go back to Canterlot Boutique, I’m sure Rarity wouldn’t mind now.” The white filly said, throwing a few hesitant glances to the anorexic dog. Her big sister would have a panic attack at the mere sight of that stinky and messy dog.

“Okay, but we’re taking Jean-Augustin with us.” Bo Peep said.

“You named him Jean-Augustin?”

“Uh, yeah. C’est pour le travail.”

Poh nodded. “That’s complicated. Plus, you wouldn’t get it. You are out of the fun zone. So don’t dare ask more stupider questions before I broke your spine in half. The repetition of thy great name Jean-Augustin cannot be pronounced by a foolish heretic. You soil the great archangel by daring to say his name. I hope you know the consequence of thy great crime you just committed.”

Bo groaned. “You can say his name, alright. I’m not going to gatekeep you. Honestly, I think my friend bites more than this stray dog.”

Jean-Augustin barked happily.

“HERESY! DEATH BY GALLOWS.” Poh exclaimed to Bo.

Jean-Augustin nudged the filly in an attempt to get her overzealous attitude to stop for even a brief moment, else she’ll blow his cover.

“Thy archangel has sent me a divine message! I see and understand thy missive you request me to do. I now will ... shut the hell up.” Poh said in a rather depressed manner, as she realised Jean-Augustin asked her to stop her ceremonial and spiritual speech.

Weirded out, Sweetie Belle looked deeply into the eyes of Jean-Augustin. As expected, they were no less different from any other dog. The animal was drooling, staring at her stupidly. Poh was simply acting out again. But the moment she turned her back on him, he wiped out the saliva in a fit of disgust.

Back at the boutique, Sweetie Belle knocked on the door and dreaded her big sister’s reaction. Rarity opened and as was expected, she let out a shriek at the sight of Jean-Augustin, the dirty stray dog. “Sweetie! What is that?!”

“It’s a dog.” Bo answered proudly, petting the animal. “We found him at the park. He’s our pet now.”

“Yeah, his name is the great and mighty Jean-Augustin! But don’t repeat his name, or it will give ya bad luck. C’mon Augustin, present thyself to Rarity!” Poh added.

Jean-Augustin opened his mouth wide, drooling even further. He barked happily at the white unicorn, sending some saliva into her face. Rarity jerked back in disgust, her legs trembling before the horrible stench of the wild animal.

“W-W-Well, if you want to keep him. You s-should give him a bath, but after I go to the bathroom!” Rarity galloped to her bathroom and locked herself in, leaving the boutique open for the three fillies and their new best friend.

Sweetie Belle sighed. “Just don’t let him dirty anything. My sister would freak out if he did.”

Jean-Augustin responded by licking her face with a jolly good smile.

“Like these clothes he’s currently sitting on right now?” Poh asked, rather scared at what the doggie just committed.

“No! Don’t step on that!” Sweetie begged, shooing the dog away.

Just then, somepony knocked on the door. The three fillies opened to see Fluttershy had returned to check on the two little rascals. “Oh, excuse me. Can I talk to Rarity?”

“She’s a little busy right now.” Sweetie responded before being licked by the stray dog again.

“Yeah, she actually crying in the bathroom, drinking a mega pint of red wine.” Poh informed.

“Really?”

“WAAAAAAAa...”

Fluttershy covered her mouth. “Oh, my...” Her concern was short lived, for the presence of the stray dog had fully obtained her attention. “Oh dear, that poor dog! You look so sad! Are you hungry?”

Jean-Augustin stretched out his paw to her, looking happy despite the circumstances of his body.

“We should feed you. I have some food for you at my cottage.” Fluttershy informed.

“Does that mean we get to keep him?” Bo asked with a bright smile on her face. “This dog is pretty damn cool!”

“Well, if he’ll help you behave...”

“You’re the best mother ever! Thank you, thank you so much!” Poh exclaimed as she ran and hug her front hoof. “I promise I will be more ... normal.” And for luck, she gave Sweetie Belle a death stare to which the white unicorn gave one back.

“Okay, w-well thanks for helping out, Sweetie Belle. It was really nice of you.” Fluttershy smiled.

The filly rolled her eyes. “No problem...”

Back at the cottage, Fluttershy tended to the dog’s needs in her living room, feeding him, cleaning him and brushing his fur. Jean-Augustin had found a paradise in the pegasus’ home. After spending days wandering the Everfree forest in search of the two humans, he had run into a lot of trouble, but thankfully he wouldn’t have to worry about that now.

“Oh, it seems I’ll need some bandages to patch up these wounds on your leg. Wait a minute, please, I’ll be right back.”

Once the kind mare had left the living room in search of medical supplies, Jean-Augustin stood up once again on his hind legs, changing his expression to show his hidden sophisticated intelligence. “My dear compatriots, you must convince the great, kind and beautiful yellow pony called Fluttershy to take us to Canterlot in search of the iron gauntlet. But, while we are waiting for her return, I will enlighten you with the knowledge of the gauntlet’s forbidden history.”

Jon took out some popcorn and sat down. “Okay, lay it on us.”

“Yo dawg, give me some. Do you want some of my chips too?” Eugene asked Jon, who was on his side.

Jean-Augustin sprouted his mystical wings as his eyes glowed a bright blue. “It all started thousands of years ago on Earth. The princess of Blabloubla woke up with a strange feeling in her body. It would appear that puberty had struck her like a mace, changing her behavior forever. She had trouble dealing with her new impulses and as such, was a massive bitch to everyone, no exception. One day, she a met a handsome boy named Brad whom she fell in love with. He shared those feelings too and in no time, they began corpulating. The problem was that he wasn’t always around to please her, and she loved the sensation of his strong hands, so she took matters into her own hands and left her father’s castle to reach the market in search of the blacksmith. She demanded he build an iron gauntlet with which to please her, a powerful item to increase the power of the act of fingering. With this holy relic, she asked him one more favour using her authority; to use thy gauntlets on her. The blacksmith complied for he had no other choice.

He fingered her pussy and lifted her high up in the air, bouncing her like a power drill. But unbeknownst to both, the iron gauntlet was too powerful. The princess’s pussy was torn apart by the gauntlet as the blacksmith helplessly continued to swing her around on his finger. Then, her body slipped down and was torn in half by the motion. In only a minute, the princess was but a bunch of bloody bits hanging on the blacksmith’s finger.

He was arrested soon after and executed for the murder of the princess. As for the iron gauntlet, it was casted to another world where none can ever use its evil powers to finger another genitalia, ever.”

The two men stared in awe and confusion, at a loss for words.

“So, I'm sorry to ask this rude question Jean-Augustin, but why the fuck do we need to find a human gauntlets if we are ponies? That doesn’t make any sense!”

Jean-Augustin nodded calmly. “You will use the gauntlet back on Earth, where you will be human again.”

“O-Okay... Wait, why do we even need to know the history of the iron gauntlet? Like, what was the point of that entire story?” Jon asked, horribly confused.

The archangel blinked. “Uh, for the lore?”

Eugene nodded. “Yeah, guess that make sense, even tho I skip every cutscenes in videos-games.”

“In any case my compatriots, you will need the fingering power of the gauntlet to save your world from nuclear destruction.”

Jon stopped the dog before he could continue his explanation. “So, wait a minute, you are actually asking us to go find a mighty metallic gauntlet in a semi-fictional world to then come back in our world and go fist Kim Jung to death to save the world from World War 3?”

“Not fist him, you have to finger his anus until he croaks. That’s what the Great One commands.” Jean-Augustin responded, raising his arms high in the air at the mention of his Lord.

Jon scratched his head, now finding one teeny tiny problem with all of this. “One question.”

“Yes?”

“I’m not gay.”

Author's Note

Jesuislaporte A.K.A The guy with a door business.

Now, this is easily the stupidest chapter yet, but now we finally established a mission for us and let me tell you; it's all heading towards one big punch-line.
We are entering the Jean-Augustin arc and it's gonna be fun, at least for us to write more stupid things.

7. Bloody hell! We’ve been kidnapped!

“Alright little doggy, I brought some medicine to make you feel better!” Fluttershy returned from her quick trip to the bathroom with the supplies needed to help the injured dog. The moment she had arrived, Jean-Augustin resumed his normal doggish behavior. He looked very happy to see the kind pegasus but nonetheless gave the two fillies a stern look, a call for action.

“Hum, Shlutterfly, I have a question to ask you? Could we, with Jean-Augustin take a visit to Celestia in Canterlot? We always dreamed of seeing the castle in real proportion!” Poh embarrassingly asked her adoptive mother, desperately trying to sound convincing.

“Oh my, I-I don’t know. It would be disrespectful to disturb Princess Celestia while she’s performing her royal duties, I...”

Jean-Augustin stared down the two fillies, begging them to try a little harder with a disapproving head shake.

“What the fuck did you just said to me you little ... hm ... hum, sorry. But why? Why not just break down the door and talk to her? It would only take like 5 minutes. I wipe her royalty duty on my ass dawg.” Poh furiously continued, as the mighty doggy’s missive couldn’t be continued.

Fluttershy gasped loudly, outraged. “Now, that is no way to talk about Princess Celestia! You-”

“Dumbass...”

The mare stopped immediately. An unfamiliar voice spoke out from behind her. But as she turned around, she only saw the stray dog smiling at her with his tongue out. “U-Um, who was that?”

“Auditory hallucination. Or maybe that was a collective hallucination. I was told so by the Great Monarch Sylvain Durif.” Bo deadpanned.

Jean-Augustin scoffed. Can’t be greater than the Great One.

“As I was saying,” Fluttershy resumed in a calmer but stern tone. “it is disrespectful to speak of the princess that way. You need to learn to respect other ponies and to watch your language especially.”

“B-b-but-but Fluttershy, you can’t even begin to fathom the emergency of the request that has been assigned on our shoulder. This is for the highest importance, and it could save many lives! We are sitting between life and death right now!” Poh added to her last objective and indeed intellectual remarks.

Fluttershy shook her head firmly. “I’m afraid not. You two have school tomorrow, remember? I’ll take care of him while you’ll be at school.”

“His name’s Jean-Augustin by the way.” Bo mentioned.

“Oh? Well, that’s a great name. He seems happy with it.”

Sensing that these two former humans won’t be able to do it, Jean-Augustin frowned and decided to do something that would forever haunt him. With a determined expression, the archangel dropped on his back and sprouted his lanky legs, revealing his genitalia that shined as bright as the sun. All three ponies stared in awe at the strange sight before them. For some strange reason, the dog had a cock ring with the letter D on it and the word Canterlot scribbled with permanent marker.

“Who’s a good boy? Who’s a good boy? Oh yes you are! Oh wait, that darn thing’s starting to raise up. Should we be concerned?” Poh happily said as she was furiously rubbing the dog’s belly.

“Wh-Why does he have...” Fluttershy muttered, horrified. “D-Do you have an owner, dear?”

Jean-Augustin frowned, staring at her with puppy eyes as he whined. It was enough to make the grown mare sad.

“Don’t worry, we’ll help you find your owner!” The pegasus reassured, petting the dog.

“Let’s start looking, dear friends at home, should we go al a derecha o al a izquierda?” Poh happily asked with a cartoon show voice character while looking into the void to a certain invisible individual.

Bo rubbed herself against Fluttershy, smiling. “Does that mean we can go to Canterlot?”

To their joy, the kind mare agreed. “It would be cruel not to help this dog find his owner. He must be so worried!” The mare was however still irked by the strange attributes of this animal. She’d never seen one with a cock ring before, much less in place of a collar.

One awkward train ride later, the group arrived at the great city of Canterlot, capital of Equestria. The two fillies were impressed by the size and beauty of this place. The buildings were made of bricks rather than wood. Everything had an air of a rich, bourgeois city. It made sense considering the massive castle was in full view wherever you were in Canterlot, a reminder that this was the place for all the rich folks.

The only problem now was to somehow find the owner of this poor dog. There were lots of ponies trotting around, over a dozen times more than in Ponyville. With only the letter D as a clue, it would be an arduous task to bring him back to his owner.

“Damn, this place is full of swines! You didn’t say this would be haughty and foot in the ass individuals. We should drink a mega pint of red wine to assimilate into the mass.” Poh said, amused.

“I’d rather take a glass of milk, no thank you.” Bo sighed, already feeling discouraged. She’d hope they could somehow convince Fluttershy to pursue their actual goal, for the one they were currently working on would be absolute torture, especially knowing that Jean-Augustin probably has no owner except for the deity he spoke of.

“Hm, maybe we should start at a pet shop, they’ll surely know who bought this dog.” Fluttershy proposed.

Wandering through the busy streets of Canterlot, the group searched for a pet shop, but sadly these were a rarity in this city. Eventually, their search came to a stop when a stallion’s face illuminated and called for them, gesturing them to come closer. He was standing in between two buildings, laying down in a relaxed posture.

“I think I’ve seen this dog before. You must be looking for his owner, right?”

Fluttershy smiled gratefully. “Why yes! We wanted to ask at a pet shop, but we can’t seem to find one. Wait, how do you know we’re looking for his owner?”

The stallion smiled back. “My friends saw y’all running around Canterlot in search of its owner. But don’t you worry, girls. I know who that dog belongs to. I can take you to him.”

“That would be very nice of you!”

Somewhat unsure, Bo Peep looked to Jean-Augustin for confirmation. The poor dog looked anxious. The canine whispered in her ear.

“Comrade, it would appear they may know about the Great One. If so, our entire plan could be in jeopardy. I suggest legal murder in that case.”

Bo narrowed her eyes. “But what if he doesn’t know about the Great One? We’d be committing a horrible crime. Either way, this seems suspicious.”

“In that case, I will protect us with my angelic power.” Jean-Augustin reassured, crossing his hind legs. “Nothing will stop us from obtaining the iron gauntlet and its amazing fingering powers.”

“We will remember your sacrifice, comrade. Rest in peace, brother.” Poh said as she was saluting and petting him for the last time.

“What are you talking about? I don’t plan to kill myself, you dimwitted evolved monkey.” Jean-Augustin reassured, albeit confused.

“I don’t know, comrade, but the stare that stallion is giving out to you is rather intense. I would recommend you to be careful and not make any mistakes.” The green filly advised.

“What do you mean? He’s staring at you three, not me. You three are all prettier than me, and female.”

“Oh wait ... Y-y-you’re right. Oh my god... Bo, can we tell Shlutterfly to leave?” Poh silently and anxiously requested.

Bo gulped. “I think we’re heading for the fun zone, and not the fun kind for us. Let’s tell Fluttershy to ditch this guy.”

But before they could say anything, the three ponies and the dog were surrounded by a group of stallions. They were also far from the busy streets. The ominous look in their eyes told them they weren’t joking around. Fluttershy noticed them at the same time, starting to feel sweat drip down her face. She had almost forgot that crimes did take place in Canterlot unlike Ponyville.

Bo gulped. “Uh, Jean-Augustin? Could you please do something about this?” But to her horror, the dog was busy sniffing some poop on the ground, thus failing to enact on his promise of defending the ladies.

“Well, shit. Do you at least have some candies, you weirdos?” Poh asked.

“No, but what we do have is whole lotta money, once we’re done robbing you.” One of the stallions said.

Fluttershy gulped as she rummaged through her saddlebag, only to come up short of bits. “Um, I-I only have twelve bits on me.”

The stallions looked rather disappointed, though that didn’t last long for he saw something else in them, something more valuable. “Oh, really now? In that case, we’ll take something more.”

They brandished clubs and before the three ponies could do anything, they were struck in the head and blacked out.

“Okay, I am done sniffing the shit so, oh...”

Once they came back to their senses, Bo and Poh found themselves in a dark area they did not recognise from the show. It was dank and hot, a temperature made even worse by their fluffy furs. Worst of all, they were practically glued to one another, face-to-face. Their forelegs would not move, and their hind ones struggled to even get up. As their vision got clearer, they realised they were staring each other dead in the eye. Their captors tied them together, and in a rather uncomfortable and rather ... gay way. Their muzzles were touching almost to the point of looking like they were kissing.

“Get the fuck out of my view, Poh.” Bo groaned.

“I'm basically booping you indefinitely Bo.” Poh mention, amused.

The two friends looked around but couldn’t make out much in this darkness except for the dimly lit lantern looming above them.

Bo sighed. “Welp, we’ve been kidnapped... There’s a first time for everything, ay?”

“Damn, that look exactly like my bedroom in my mother’s house! Yeah, fuck that bitch dawg. Anyway ... Oh wait, where’s Shlutterfly? Where’s our new mother-in-law?” Poh panickily questioned whilst her eyes darted around the dark room.

Bo inched to the right, noticing the still unconscious body of their mother-in-law. “Right behind you, dude. Um, we should probably find a way to escape. Do you know where Jean-Augustin is? I can’t seem to find him.”

“He’s a dog dawg. He’s probably still sniffing that shit stains on the floor. Our best option would be to wake up Shlutterfly. Maybe she can call her friends or something? Have any ideas to wake her up?”

“Use your tail to tickle her or something. Mine’s too short.” Bo said as she wagged her tail around.

“Aha! Lame. Ok let me do it.” Poh repeatedly move intensely her tails tried to reach Fluttershy with her tails, but with no success.

“Oh fuck. I reckon if this goes on any longer, I might just get horny.” Bo grunted, sweating just a bit for now. “I’ll have to use you as leverage to jack off. So, uh, we don’t want it to come to that.”

“...What the fuck is wrong with you?” Poh asked, rather disgusted and horrified by the darkness of that sentence that came out of her supposedly best friend she didn’t recognize anymore. Well, not that she was any better! (Can’t believe you’re calling me out like that, bud.)

“God, I’m already thinking about fucking my ponysona, we gotta make a plan, now!”

Then, as if on cue, the pitter patter of four little paws caught their attention. From the abyssal darkness of the room, Jean-Augustin arrived. Salvation came in the angelic form of a battered dog.

“Jean-Augus-!”

The archangel stopped by first to sniff some excrement before standing up on his hind legs like a human.

“You gotta be fucking kidding me...”

Clearing his throat, the dog came to reassure them. “My compatriots, this situation is of most dire circumstances. I have come to free you from theses chains so that we may resume safely our quest for the iron gauntlet.”

“Dude, just shut the fuck up and do it already! I can’t feel my legs because of that fat fuck.”

Jean-Augustin stared at what was keeping these fillies tied up. Chains, not good; these are sturdier than ropes. Luckily, he had an idea. The dog whipped his willy out and began to pee on the chains.

“Dude, what the fuck!” Bo shouted, undignified.

“My corrosive pee will wither away the chains until they are weak enough to be broken. I know that for a fact because pee is naturally acidic. I saw a guy do that in an anime before and it worked.”

Poh jerked back as much as she could. “Dude, the only thing you are corroding with that shit is my nose. Get that shit out of here and find a tool or something!”

Jean-Augustin had no piss left in him and sadly, his idea did not work. “Hm, we must wait until I need to relieve myself again.”

“No!” shouted Bo. “Get like a saw or something and cut these chains off!”

“Alright then, I wil-” The archangel sporadically returned to his natural dog state, sniffing the poop on the ground once again.

A soft groan emanated behind Poh. Their mother-in-law had awakened! But sadly, it meant that they no longer had the support of Jean-Augustin.

“M-mo-mommy? Do you know where we are and how to get out of this creepy and unfriendly room we are trapped in?” Poh anxiously asked her mother.

Fluttershy’s eyes opened slowly, confused by the lack of light in the area. As her vision became clearer, the mare tried to leave the uncomfortable position she was in only for her body to refuse. Surprised, she looked down and saw the chains restraining her. It was then that the memories of what had just happened resurfaced. She had been kidnapped with those two fillies!

Scared out of her mind, she began to hyperventilate, her eyes darting around uncontrollably.

“Wha-huh, wh-wh-where are we?” She muttered through her shaky lips.

“Does it really matter? we are still chained anyway, mommy! Do you know a way to get out of theses infernal chains?” Poh asked, thinking she was about to pull off a cutter or something.

“What do they want from us? They did say they wanted something... ‘more’.” Bo added, scared of the implications.

Sadly, Fluttershy seemed to be unable to help at the moment, too scared by the situation to think of a way out. Bo’s mention only made her fears worse as all sorts of terrifying scenarios played in her head.

Without the help of their archangel friend and the kind mare, the two fillies were essentially at the mercy of a band of sketchy stallions. Not good.

“Aergh! Hgn! Ugh...” A familiar voice echoed behind Bo.

“W-Wh-Who's there?” Fluttershy quivered, shaking like a leaf.

“Oh no ... Could it be? I think he’s here to save us all!” Poh said, all excited for she knew who it could be. Her new best friend was finally getting to work on saving them!

“Who-”

“Jean-Augustin.” Bo responded dryly. “Our dog is a little bit special as you’ll see.”

“Ugh... O-Oh, oh fuck. Aergh!”

“Yeah ... And I don’t know if the moan and groan is to help us in that current situation.” Poh added.

Fluttershy blinked, confusion slowly overtaking her fear. “H-He doesn’t sound like a dog. I-Is it normal that he sounds more like a... pony?”

“Oh yeah, absolutely. Jean-Augustin wouldn’t be Jean-Augustin without his voice.” Bo smiled confidently. “He’s going to save us, I hope. I mean it sounds like he’s doing something important.”

“He’s the archangel of the Great One, after all.” Poh rationalized.

“And you didn’t tell me he was special like that because?” Fluttershy asked, intrigued.

Bo looked behind her to see the archangel, but he was hidden in the darkness. Only his voice could be heard. “He doesn’t want ponies to know about this little secret, but I guess he’ll make an exception for you.”

“Haïïï!” Jean-Augustin screamed. His voice sounded like he was in pain accompanied by a strange metallic banging and yet, he continued.

“Oh my, I’ve never heard of a dog that could talk. Gosh, this is so exciting, b-but, um, are you sure he can save us?” Fluttershy continued. “Maybe he can leave this place and call for help since he can talk.”

“I have all but confidence about my prophet, my faith of this angelic and mystical animal is no doubt well placed.” Poh reassured.

“Yeah, just ask him if you’re worried.” Bo suggested.

“Okay, um... J-Jean-Augustin? Can you help us, please?”

The lights suddenly turned on. The bright flash blinded the three ponies just as they turned to look at their doggy companion. As the flash of light dissipated and their vision adjusted to the new lighting, they finally got to see what the archangel was doing all this time.

Lo and behold, in the corner of the room, with his back turned to them, Jean-Augustin was beating the living shit out of his ball sack with an iron bar, shouting profanities in his moment of agony. Eventually, he stopped and dropped the iron bar on the ground with a loud clang. He turned around and proudly showcased his testicles to the shocked mare who closed her eyes.

“Dear comrade...” A long silence took place, justified because of Jean-Augustin's obnoxious pain he had between his legs. “Behold the power of an archangel! The strength and resistance of my own testicles shall open you free to thy metallic imprisonment you are part of.”

“Oh my gosh...” Fluttershy muttered in disbelief, feeling like she was going to pass out.

Bo snickered. “Yeah right, how are you gonna help us with cock and ball torture?”

Jean-Augustin stood above her, his mighty testicles inches away from the filly’s disgusted face. “I have powered up my balls and now, I will destroy thy binds.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

With one powerful teabag, Jean-Augustin smite the chains that bind the two fillies together, shattering the chains effortlessly. The two former humans stared in disbelief at the massive balls of the dog. “Indeed, I have balls of steel.” he added as he banged on his testicles, to which they produced a metallic clang.

“Hum ... so I don’t know if I'm glad to be free or sad because I would wish to rewind that moment in slow motion. Just curious.” Poh commented, sad by the rapidity of the execution.

Fluttershy was on the verge of passing out after seeing something she never thought she’d ever see with her own two eyes.

“Do not be afraid, Fluttershy.” Jean-Augustin reassured as he patted her head. “My balls shall not touch thy face.”

After what seemed an eternity, all the ponies were free from their metalic chains. Fluttershy took some time to process what had just happened, still troubled by the images now forever etched in her mind. But she was at least thankfully that Jean-Augustin saved them from a terrible fate. Now, they were slowly investigating the environment. The room was filled with crates, some open, others closed. They had all sorts of content ranging from iron bars to broken vases. It seemed like these ominous stallions only care about lining their pockets.

“Gee, think they were gonna sell us as slaves?” Bo asked curiously.

“What do you think they were going to do? Do you think they capture us and tie us up only to ask our opinion on Ponyville’s weather or perhaps Rarity’s boutique? If so, they both suck.” Poh angerly answered to her friend that didn’t seem to comprehend the seriousnesss of the moment.

Bo frowned, facehoofing. “I don’t know, there are other reasons why you’d want to capture a pretty mare and two little fillies. There isn’t a clear answer all the time.”

“Maybe sells our organs and some plasma on the side? I heard its expensive nowadays.” Poh continued, intentionally ignoring the more logical answer.

“Girls, please!” Fluttershy puffed, feeling dizzier by the seconds with the situation at hoof. “We need to find a way out of here, then we need to tell the royal guard about these bad stallions before they hurt anypony else.”

Jean-Augustin raised a paw. “I will try to pick the lock on this metal door with my iron cock. It will be excruciatingly painful, but I will manage for I have a lockpicking skill of 100 on Skyrim.”

“Hey girls! I found a clue written below that table. Oh wait, that’s an old gum. Ew. I wonder if it's still fresh.” Poh put her face forward in an attempt to consume the old and rancid candy.

Just then, the group heard the clopping of hooves above them heading straight for the metal door that separated them from freedom.

“Last one alive lock the door!” said one of the voices from the other side, rapidly approaching.

“Oh shit, what do we do? We are doomed! Fluttershy? Jean-Augustin? Pwease do something!” Poh anxiously asked to those around her, as she was having a panic attack on the corner of the room.

“Fear not.” Jean-Augustin announced confidently. “I have trained in the martial art of balljutsu and have over 100 confirmed kills. I will take care of these disbelievers.”

The door was unlocked and thus, the kidnappers came pouring in. They stopped to watch in awe as their captives somehow freed themselves. Moreover, there was also that bizarre dog standing on his hind legs.

“He’s pulling his cock out!” shouted one of the kidnappers.

“Get them! We can’t let ‘em escape!”

Jean-Augustin stretched his legs, bracing himself for the incoming fight. “Hyeh he he he, it’s like Christmas morning...”

The first stallion, an earth pony, charged him to which the archangel responded with a pelvic thrust. The pony’s cranium cracked upon the impact, unable to leave even a dent in the dog’s balls. Discombobulated, he was unable to defend himself from the dog’s cock slap. Lights out for this guy as he fell with a fracture to his skull.

“I can do this all day.” Jean-Augustin said, straining his voice a bit as he stretched his legs outward to give his balls some air to breathe.

Flabbergasted, three other ponies chose to go all at once, now fearing the dog’s manhood. They split off and circled the archangel, opting to attack him from all sides. Jean-Augustin wasn’t afraid, he instead smirked at their foolish idea of a strategy. Too basic, too easy to see coming.

The stallions rushed him, but the dog was one jump ahead of them. He leaped above their foolish charge and poked one of them in the eye with his iron rod. Then, he followed this attack with a pelvic thrust in his ribs, cracking them.

The pony fell to the ground, spitting some blood as his eyes teared up from the pain.

“Unbeliever, you need medical attention.” Jean-Augustin mocked.

The other two stared in awe, now feeling nervous. They were all scared but one, the unicorn in the back who glared at the archangel. “Enough jerkin’ around! I’ll teach you not to mess with our business, dog.”

“I will teach you to believe in our lord and savior, Dis-The Great One.” Jean-Augustin took on a praying mantis stance which led to believe he would use his paws for once.

The leader levitated some iron bars and threw them at the archangel. Big mistake, for he had practiced his balls to withstand the pain of being struck there by metallic objects. Grabbing the bars (with his paws mind you), he used them to deflect the incoming shards of broken vases thrown his way. He juggled the bars around his body to shield himself from the various attacks of the unicorn and kept on going until the levitated objects lost all their steam.

The leader was out of breath, struggling to keep his weapons in the air. His leg gave under the pressure, and he fell to the ground, looking up to see the ominous silhouette of his adversary. “J-Just... what are you?” He asked in disbelief.

“Macaque et creeper.”

Jean-Augustin teabagged the leader until he was knocked out. Blood poured from his cracked skull, dripping from the balls of the archangel. “Hmm, my balls are now dirty...”

A faint breath caught his attention. The two last stallions were curled up in the corner of the room, shaking like leaves. It would appear there are still some unbelievers left to correct. But just as Jean-Augustin stepped in to finish the fight, he crumbled to the ground, holding his balls in agony as tears rolled down his eyes.

“Shit, it fucking hurts...”

The two stallions stared at each other incredulously, eventually deciding to get the fuck out before trouble comes.

Fluttershy and her two fillies were shocked by the dark and violent twist the event turned on. They couldn’t believe it! Jean-Augustin the dog knocked down 3 earth stallions and intimidated two others only using his mighty balls of steel. Duke Nukem would be proud.

Poh slowly and quietly walked in front of one of the unconscious corpses and spat on his forehead. “Fuck the fuck off, you fucking fuck nugget fucker, fuck you!” Poh aggressively shouted. “You ain’t gonna have this piece of art right here!” As she was proudly teabagging his face.

“... Oh, hum sorry mom, I just forgot about my promise.” She said in a lower tone and looking on the ground, aware of the parental responsibilities of her new mother-in-law, more particularly about the vulgarity of her language.

“U-Um, you really need to watch your language.” Fluttershy sternly said, albeit still lost and confused at the fallout of her rescue. She was concerned for Jean-Augustin, but also somewhat scared of what he just did whilst being concerned for the wellbeing of the two fillies. She just didn’t know what to think no more, man!

“Wow... well, that was something.” Bo affirmed, staring absently into the void.

“My balls...” The archangel whined, clutching them with all his might as he continued to cry on the floor.

“Oh, your poor wife, if you have one that is.”

“Yep, I guess. But, actually, what the fu... hay were we doing in the first place?” Poh asked, confused.

“To find his owner?” Fluttershy answered hesitantly.

“N-No.” Jean-Augustin protested, gritting his teeth. “You must find the iron gauntlet. It is... kept in Princess Celestia’s castle. Only the gauntlet may save humanity and my master, not that you know of them miss Fluttershy.”

“Yeah, we will explain that to you later. In the moment, we still have the quest of the mighty iron gauntlet!” Poh happily exclaimed.

Fluttershy blinked. “Uh, okay, I guess. We have come here to help you, Augustin so, um, we’ll see if we can ask Celestia about the gauntlet.”

“Alrighty then!” Bo exclaimed. “Let’s get the hell outta here!”

Author's Note

Okay, this chapter was by far the one we laughed the most at while writing. Especially the whole iron bar thing, it's a reference and one I find stupidly funny so... I wrote an entire fight scene about it. Plus, I dropped some more hints regarding the Great One. It's leading up to that big joke, I tell ya!

9. Aw yeah! We’re open for business!

Author's Note

Jon A.K.A Bo Peep
Okay, so... disclaimer and spoiler too. We assure you, we will never describe any kind of sexual act in great details, especially not when it's fucking foal-con. We only made this chapter because Eugene proposed that idea and I thought it was fucking hilarious to do a glory hole business inside an elementary school's restrooms. Also, sorry but this "business" will go on for a few more chapters, but it won't be super descriptive and will feature actual adults getting their weewee vacuumed.
Still, I know you're just here for the shitpost, so it probably won't ruffle your feathers seeing as we cautiously avoided describing what transpired in the stalls. So, hope you found some enjoyement out of this, even though it wasn't as chaotic as the previous chapter.

Eugene A.K.A Fluttershy Enjoyer
I'll keep it short and simple. Yes, it was my idea and I had to endure the consequences by being the one committing fellatio on Button Mash. I feel terribly disturbed and also proud at the same time. So, don't take it too seriously please. It's just like... not real sex? Don't take it seriously.
Je vous aime, putain!

9. Aw yeah! We’re open for business!

Finally, some peace and quiet. Nopony but her and her little critters in her cozy cottage. Fluttershy crumbled on her couch like a deflated balloon. The images from yesterday were still fresh in her mind, forever reminding her of all the bizarre things she had to deal with. A talking dog with the intelligence to rival ponies, unusually aggressive waiters, kidnappers, Xanax poisoning, a colt taking compromising pictures of pony not to mention her ruler has a sex toy which they need to help the talking dog. The poor mare was sweating, still stressed about these recent events.

Her critters were worried, sensing something different in her. Simply getting up and feeding them proved harder than usual. Her head just wasn’t in it today and probably won’t be for a good while until she can fully process all the chaos. Strangest of all, her animals seemed distrustful and even afraid of Jean-Augustin who sat on a cushion in her cottage, acting like a normal dog. Despite that, they knew something was up with him.

Fluttershy certainly could tell now that she was paying more attention to his “dog” behavior. The archangel’s eyes were set on her at all times, and he was extremely calm. His eyes were much more intelligent than a normal canine. They were always analyzing, always looking with purpose. They felt eerily ponylike. When observed, he stuck his tongue out and acted like a happy pup. With all the time she’s spent with Winona, the mare knew what a normal dog was. Jean-Augustin could try his best now, but the disguise didn’t look so perfect anymore, and it certainly won’t work on any dog owner.

She won’t admit it, but he freaked her out. The eerie look in his eyes and his silence made him feel alien to her. Not to mention the cock ring and the metal bar incident... The more Fluttershy thought about the D written on the ring and the chaotic and violent nature of the dog, the more she wondered who his owner could be. The mysterious Great One. Sounds like somepony important. Or was it something?

Fluttershy knew he wouldn’t tell her. So, there was only one way to figure this out. Research. And what better place to go to than the Golden Oak library? Twilight should have something on archangels and maybe, just maybe, the Great One.

After the misadventure in Canterlot, it was back to school for these two fillies. Without a means to obtain the iron gauntlet, their quest had to be put on hold. They need money to get the compromising photo from Diamond Tiara and force Celestia into hoofing the gauntlet over. Sadly, to pay a rich filly is no easy task. They’ll need lots of bits to satisfy her and fast before the photo is published in the newspaper. Two questions in particular came to mind. Firstly, when will this photo be published? And secondly, how can they get enough bits in time to pay Diamond Bitchara?

And will they be able to save the world in time? Well, maybe not save the world now that they know the gauntlet belonged to Discord. What he wanted to do with it remained a mystery for now.

Inside Cheerilee’s class, the two friends needed to get some information before they can start making a plan. Now was the time to complete some schoolwork. It was easy elementary level mathematics they had already completed in under 15 minutes. The perks of being an adult stuck in a child’s body. With that, they had half an hour left to get to work on their quest.

“Alright, we have absolutely no idea how much time we got before the photo is leaked to all Equestria. So, we gotta ask Featherweight, ‘cause I don’t think Bitchara is gonna be too keen on telling us.” Bo said.

“Believe me, those type of women are keener when you know how to talk to them nice and smoothly. So, you gotta trust a 20 years old virgin dude who never talked to a girl before and is repulsion incarnate and coco-crazy. Let’s just talk to her and try to be nice? I mean, we already did some favors for her, how hard could it be?” Poh said with a smirk on her face.

“You just gave me a bullet point on why I shouldn’t trust you, so... no. I’ll ask Featherweight, you come up with an idea in the meantime.” With that, Bo Peep hopped off her seat and went straight to the aspiring photographer.

“Dude, I’m like quadriplegic for life, what the fu-hay you expect me to do?” Poh sighed to herself., looking down at her injured limbs. All patched up, but the wounds were still hurting, especially her broken front hoof. Trotting was rather arduous.

To make matters more insulting, a compassionate plump foal came to her. “Can I sign your cast, please?”

“Oh fuck off.” Poh exhaled before realizing she couldn’t go anywhere else without assistance from her comrade to leave the filly in front of her. “... I guess you can then.”

Meanwhile, Bo Peep reached Featherweight’s desk. Before she asked him anything, she had the reflex to glance down on his schoolwork. Easy mathematics, and yet he was struggling. She chuckled internally at his below average competency in math and leaned closer to him. “Hey, Featherweight. Looks like you maybe, perhaps, need a bit of help.”

The skinny foal looked up, desperate. “Oh dear, this is much harder than I thought!”

“What really? I mean, I’d be glad to offer some.” Bo was dealing with the one thing she hated most in school, incompetency. Still, to get her answer, she had to remain calm and nice to him, for the time being. “At a little cost, though. I just want to know when Diamond Bit-Tiara will publish the, um, spicy article with Celestia in it.”

In the very corner of the conversation, Poh is violently smashing her head on the table showing signs of desperation. Featherweight looked at the scene, slightly disturbed, but Bo grabbed him by the face and forced him to look into her eyes.

“So? Can you tell me?”

Featherweight glanced quickly at the back row where Diamond Tiara stood with Silver Spoon. “Ok, just don’t tell her I told you anything about the photo. She wants to publish it in 2 weeks, right on time for Celestia’s announcement about Nightmare Night.”

Bo’s eyes widened. “2 weeks? Crap, that’s not a lot of time. Also, damn, that’s some evil timing right there.”

“Y-You’re still trying to get your hoofs on it?”

“The photo? Yeah, I’ll figure something out with my friend. We’ll get the bits and get that darn photo in time. Trust me, the fate of the world hangs in the balance, all because of that stupid iron gauntlet, you have no idea.”

Suddenly, Poh stopped her motion and her face illuminate. She found the perfect solution that could be an exchange with the tyrannic filly that we could agree, noponies likes. Thinking she would start continuing on her mathematics equations, Miss Cheerliee greeted Poh.

“Poh, is something wrong?” Cheerilee asked gingerly.

“No thank you miss, I let go of mathematics long ago. I just found more important solutions, about ... Let’s say, capitalism.” Poh happily answered.

“Now, now, it’s important to do your schoolwork, especially mathematics. It’s a very important subject that-” Cheerilee blinked when she looked at the filly’s work. “O-Oh, you’re done already? Not to mention you’ve got all the right answers. Wow, that’s very good, Poh!”

Poh discreetly smirk and started to blush. “T-t-hanks you miss, it’s very nice of you. Hum, by the way, were the other fillies at this table using glitter for their DIY?” Poh stressfully asked.

“Um, yes, but what does that have to do with the current class?” Cheerilee asked back.

Panicking, Poh started to run with agony in the direction of the restroom.” I-I'm really sorry Miss Cheerilee, I gotta go!”

Bo Peep watched her friend run out the classroom, mildly annoyed. “Alright, I’ll get back on you about that problem. I’ve got to check on my friend.”

But just as the pegasus was about to ask Cheerilee to go to the restroom, a familiar voice stopped her.

“Whatcha doing, blank flank?” Diamond Bitchara, of course.

“Playing math tutor?” Silver Spoon mocked.

“Yeah, what about it? I’m tutoring him, ‘cause math is so easy, I did my entire sheet in less than five minutes. Can you say the same, fillies?” Bo smiled proudly.

Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes. “Whatev, if you think you can get the photo back from me, think again! I’m not changing my mind, never.”

Bo looked to the young photographer. “You could have... maybe not tell her about our little run in? That’s a thought. So is this, screw you both.”

Silver Spoon scoffed. “As if you have any chance at getting it, blank flank! We know you’re thinking about getting bits to pay for the photo. Good luck with that! You’re too poor to buy even a single apple.”

Diamond Tiara smirked. “My dad makes thirty, no fifty times the bits than your animal loving mother. You can’t bribe anypony!”

Bo Peep took a deep breath. “Okay, let me break it down for you. You’re raised by a piece of shit mother in a loveless marriage. You act like a total douchebag and like you own the place when it’s not you, it’s your mom that does. Secondly, your dad probably touches himself at night to that kind of photos.”

Then, a loud scream of pain emerged in the direction of the restroom. The glitter already breached out in every part of Poh face, even on her eyes.

“ARHHH, MY EYES!” Poh screamed at the top of her lungs.

Bo Peep sighed, backing away from the bullies. “Well, girls, I’m really sorry but I gotta go. Booty calls.”

“Good thinking. To maintain my disguise, you must walk your new dog in public.” Jean-Augustin muttered quietly.

Fluttershy looked around nervously as she trotted around Ponyville. Jean-Augustin was not a pretty dog by any mean, though he looked much better than when her fillies first found him. No more dirt, not as anorexic, but still in bad shape. It felt embarrassing for her to walk around with such an unhealthy-looking pet, what with all the odd looks of pity and confusion she earned. Thankfully, the narrative of him being a lost dog she found in the Everfree forest was enough to deter any judgement from her peers.

The archangel didn’t seem to care at all about how he was viewed. His mission was the only important thing he seemed to value. That, and the two fillies. She believed she ranked third in that regard.

Finally, she reached the Golden Oak. The problem now was to head inside... with Jean-Augustin. Looking into Twilight’s eyes with this weird archangel dog around would prove to be quite the challenge. This animal made her uncomfortable in so many ways. She saw him take out an entire platoon of guards with relative ease. If she angered him in any ways, she’ll be doomed.

“I see. You seek knowledge, which is good. Knowledge is power just as much as money equals power.” The archangel whispered in a holy tone that reeked of power. His whispers doubled and tripled, as if multiple ponies were speaking to her. It felt like he was hiding more tricks up his sleeves and all the iron cock thing back in Canterlot were just the tip of the iceberg. Not to mention, his tongue retracted, and his happy puppy eyes disappeared. He didn’t appear too thrilled to go inside.

Fluttershy nodded hesitantly. “Um, y-yeah. We need to find more information on, uh... th-the iron gauntlet. My friend Twilight Sparkle must have a book about it... I think.”

Before she could muster up the courage to go inside, Jean-Augustin moved forth. “Then let us seek knowledge.”

Entering the Golden Oak, Fluttershy sheepishly trotted towards her busy friend. Twilight was rearranging books again, as she seemed to do every week. Spike was dusting shelves off as usual. Really, the only unusual thing she saw here was the skinny dog strolling to the unicorn with swagger. Barking, he alerted the librarian to the pegasus’ presence.

Twilight spun around, nearly dropping all the books she was levitating. “Oh? Good morning, Fluttershy! Uh, I see you have a new dog. Hooray...” She smiled awkwardly as she observed the dog in question. Never has she seen something look so utterly pathetic, yet calm and collected at the same time. The dog wasn’t running to her excitedly, no he just stood there, quietly observing her with these odd eyes.

“Y-Yes. I found him in the woods. The poor little thing was lost and lonely, so I took him in. Isn’t that right?”

Jean-Augustin turned his attention to the pegasus and happily opened his mouth on cue.

“B-But I didn’t come here just to present my new pet. I was wondering if you had any books on, um, ancient Equestrian legends?” Fluttershy nervously asked, glancing at the archangel.

Twilight’s face lit up with joy. “That I have! In fact, I have many of them. If you don’t know which one to choose, I’d be happy to recommend one!”

“Yay...”

Jean-Augustin's shifty eyes focused on the cleaning baby dragon, dusting off the floor.

Spike stopped before the dog, staring into his odd eyes. “Uh, hi?” He asked, mildly confused.

The dog didn’t move a muscle. He just kept his eyes on him. No discernable expression behind them, just a blank stare that felt oppressive.

“Okay... I’ll just go back to cleaning.” Spike moved past the dog, noticing the pet was following him with his smart eyes. “Gee, what a weird dog.”

“Worshippers of a false god...” Jean-Augustin muttered to himself. While Fluttershy was busy picking out the book, he walked out of the library, silent as a leaf and went behind the building.

He was no fool. He knew of Fluttershy’s warry attitude. She was scared of him, and onto his master. Nothing he could do for now. He had at least a few months left before it finally happened.

Staring up at the sky, Jean-Augustin observed the great city of Canterlot from this distance. His eyes darted around, making sure nopony was around to hear him.

“Great One. It seemed we are in a dire situation. Time is of the essence. The retrieval of the gauntlet must remain a top priority. For that, I will personally overseer the fillies. But as for Fluttershy, I do not know what I should do. We can’t let her jeopardize the master plan, not when she’s the final step. If she finds out, I’m afraid all we’ve done so far would have been for nothing and the setback will be immense.” Jean-Augustin said, his brows furrowing.

Words slithered into his head from an unknown source, but he knew who they belonged to.

“I see. I will believe your faith in the fillies. After I am done with this ‘walk’, I will return to them and make sure they can get the job done. They are special and unusual for sure, a perfect match for you, Great One. The master plan will not fail. Its success is sealed already.”

“Dude, I have glitters in every part of my body! My hair, my eyes, my mouth, everywhere. How can I attract my beloved yellow and voluptuous pony? I am a mess, and I should be treated like one.” Poh desperately said to herself while looking at her reflection in the mirror.

“Stop screaming, I’m masturbating.” Bo Peep glowered, exasperated.

Inside the restroom, the two friends each sat on different stalls, battling the heat again each in their own ways. It was also a good way of relieving the stress from their bodies, allowing them to keep a cool head since they needed to come up with a good idea to get filthy rich, done dirt cheap.

Poh was using the brush again whilst Bo Peep was using her ancient pleasuring techniques to turn on her body without her hooves. After a few minutes of fun times, the deed was done, and it was back to planning and scheming.

“Well... I hope you came up with something. I was busy sucking off Featherweight, metaphorically speaking of course, to think of a plan.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to relieve all of that stress away dude? I’m actually done with it” Poh exclaimed while breaking down the hole with her hoof, making a small hole connecting the stall.

“Dude, what the fuck?! You’re causing property damage! We’ll be knee deep in shit if Cheerilee finds out.” Bo screamed into the newly formed hole.

“Shut the fuck up Saul Goodman, I’ll fix it later with our really effective capitalist business. Actually, the hole will become handy later, trust me. Have you realized that we are the first pony to know about sex and masturbation? Even Twilight Sparkles doesn’t seem to have information about all that stuff. So, I say, let’s use that to our advantage and help more ponies find out about that sweet relief they didn’t seem to want at first. In exchange, we could ask them money and do the deal with that Diamond Bitchara. It’s like prostitution. Actually, no it is. Are you down? This is the only real advantage we have against them dude!” Poh elaborated.

Bo Peep stared at the hole in silence for a few seconds, flabbergasted. “Your grand idea is a glory hole? Like, I’ll be sucking off foals, literally and not metaphorically?” But after putting some thoughts into it, this would be the equivalent of doing all their pony fucking fantasies for real. Just... on foals first, and mostly colts as it’s a glory hole. Still, if they upgrade to those of their age, well... “Fuck it, I’m in. But, to do that, we must earn our customers. Tell ‘em they want something they don’t know they want.”

“Lets say, cookies? A jar of candies? I don’t know about that dude. Are we going to be pedophile AND prostitute?” Poh continued.

Bo Peep cringed at the idea she was about to propose. Then again, such idea was the path of least resistance. “Okay, then how do we convince adults to get their dick sucked in an elementary school restroom? God, this sounds sketchy saying that out loud. No, it’s easier if we bring our classmates here first. I first started masturbating at the ripe age of 12, so who knows, maybe they’re about ready to get a blowjob?”

“Maybe we can arouse them by putting pictures and sensual poses to get them the tingly sensation in their wiggity poppity, you know? And our business would be about letting them discovering and controlling their feeling.” Poh suggested.

Bo Peep smirked through the peep hole. “Come on, Eugene. You know a glory hole sounds funnier than a porn cabinet. Plus, I know of a good pony to start with. Someone so easy to convince, it’s practically free money.”

“I was actually talking about putting pictures of ourselves at school, like the publicity Trixie does for her show, you know? But I think you’re right. Let’s start it sneaky mode.” Poh concluded.

“We just gotta aim for the oppressed groups, the ones least likely to get bitches. We offer ourselves as the bitches they oh so desire, and get a consistent source of income.” Bo stuck her tongue through the hole and waggled it briefly. “Fun, easy, and it’ll get us filthy rich. Dude, you’re a genius.”

“... Yeah, wait about the time you’ll have to suck Bulk Bicep’s dick.”

Back in class, Bo Peep and Poh trotted towards the first client of their brand-new business. Dick sucking, glory hole, but done in the shadows. A business spread only by word of mouth, never to reach Cheerilee’s fluffy ears.

Bo leaned on the desk belonging to Button Mash, trying his best to sneakily play video games in class. The brown colt, surprised, turned off his console and acted as if he was doing his schoolwork, unconvincingly.

“Heya. What’s your name?” Bo asked in a smooth and seductive tone.

The gaming addict colt glanced under his desk, then at the teacher. “It’s Button Mash. You didn’t... see me playing, did you?”

“Yo, I’ve heard that your mom is ho-” Poh exclaimed.

Bo Peep winked. “No, we did not. Say, I know video games are fun and all, but I, no, we can show you something more fun. Something video games can’t bring you and we thought to show it to you first, ‘cause you’re like, really awesome at games. Ain’t that right, Poh?”

“Yeah, that stuff is actually better than all of that beta energy stuff you bring out to class. I actually saw you playing with that portable console below your desk. Don’t you want the teacher to know about it right? Well, we have a safer and funnier solution for ya.” Poh answered.

Bo Peep smacked Poh away. “Don’t listen to him, her. I just want you to know that I really, oh but REALLY like gamers. You seem like the coolest gamer in all Ponyville, so I thought it’d be nice to show our cool stuff. It’s in the restroom, so the teacher won’t know.”

Button Mash blushed lightly. Evidently, he didn’t get his ego stroked by many fillies before, if at all. Just as the transformed filly predicted, he was on board with the idea, no hesitation there. Now, the tough part was to come. An inner struggle of coming to terms with what she was about to do quickly ensued as she led the colt to the filly’s restroom with Poh.

“I-I don’t think I’m allowed to go in the filly’s restroom.” Button Mash objected nervously.

“Hey, it’s no big deal. The teacher won’t know, so it’s like it never happened, right?” Bo Peep comforted, tapping the colt on his shoulders. “Now come inside, our little surprise is waiting.”

“O-oh, my dear and sweet little sweet little colt, I can presume you like to smash those buttons reaaaal hard, right? Well, I’m your controller and I’m all yours baby. Your hard and huge banana looks really cold, maybe I can help you, you know? Maybe just put them in my jaws?” Poh sensually told Button Mash as she was vigorously licking her lips with her tongue in an inviting approach.

“... W-What?”

Bo Peep giggled, taking on a smoother tone. “Oh, not often you talk to fillies, right? Don’t be shy, this is a great opportunity you have there. I know you’re a little nervous, but that’s the cool part; once this is over, you’ll be suuuuper relaxed. Doing schoolwork will be easy peasy. Do you trust me?”

Button Mash looked over at Poh, but quickly glanced back at Bo when she shook her head as in to say “just me”.

Entering the filly’s restrooms, Bo and Poh took Button to the stall with the newly formed hole. The gamer was growing increasingly nervous, looking around the stall like a lost puppy until the fillies pointed to the hole.

“Good, now you wait for a bit. We gotta... discuss a bit before we start.”

Bo Peep took Poh away from the stall. “Okay, now’s the tricky part. We gotta pick the one who’ll be dick sucking. Like, we need one in the stall and another one to watch over the door and be the bouncer. Cheerilee cannot screw everything up before it even starts, mkay?”

“Well, I guess I can do it. I already took the first step. But please for crying out loud, make me forget about this moment. I’m going to go suck down an 8 years old colt’s dick.” Poh responded, already not pleased with her decision.

Bo Peep shook her head, ready to lay it on her. “Tell me again, who came up with this idea? You reap what you sowed, and what you sowed is a ring of debauchery, bestiality and pedophilia. Just close your eyes and imagine like you’re sucking on a man’s dick, or a femboy if you’re into that. Just remember, it’s all business and for Discord and the gauntlet.”

“This does not help you buffoon! I’m not fucking gay. Remember, someone’s gay only when both of their penises touch. In my case, I am safe ... Hum, do you have Nutella or something to hide the taste at least?” Poh asked, nervous.

“Unfortunately, no. You’ll have to perform the grapefruit technique next time to help with that. Minus... the sounds.” Bo Peep sighed, looking at the stall in which Button was waiting.

“S-So... when is it starting?” Button Mash asked nervously.

“Sorry, but our policies require you to pay before the ... excavation. It’s about 5 bits. No refunds.”

Bo Peep trotted to the stall. “Oh yeah, almost forgot. It’s five bits, w-we run a business, see? Dirt cheap for what you’re about to get in return! Slide ‘em to the stall with the hole in it.”

“Let’s put the price higher next time, I don’t want to be a national treasure in Ponyville for fuck’s sake!” Poh whispered to Bo, who’s next to her.

Button slid the five bits to the next stall. Poh hopped inside the stall and unto the toilet to reach the glory hole. In it, she saw the colt’s awkward smile. “Uh, hi.”

“Okay, I’ll go check outside, make sure nopony is coming to bother us.” Bo grinned. She could already taste the fortune they were about to make with this. In due time, they’ll get more than awkward foals. She wanted to see the big shots coming, for they can pay more.

“... Ok, welcome my magnificent little colt, let me introduce you to our new business in this school restroom! It’s something we hope you’ll share with other of your kinds about your great experience with me, Poh” The green earth pony said in a sensual manner whilst licking her lips and indicating him to approach his face to the irregular hole in the stall wall. “See this little beauty?” Poh asked whilst slowly sliding her hooves unto said hole to get the young colt’s attention.

“I-I see it, but what do I do with it?” Button Mash asked, looking through the hole at the filly’s embarrassed face.

“Don’t you worry, I have all that figured it out you won’t need to do anything specific. Just relax and fell the sound and the way I speak to you.” Poh slowly and sensually said. Approaching her head toward the hole, she gave Button Smash the most intense stare she could ever give. “Now that you are relaxed, I’ll ask you one little request of you. See that little meat of yours that laying between your legs. It is sooo dull and boring right? What about putting in that hole and start getting it hard for me?” Poh once again sensually requested.

“W-Wait, you want me to put my p-penis in there? I don’t know if I should do this... This seems wrong...” Button Mash questioned, avoiding the filly’s eyes.

“It’s a one-time offer. You gotta try it at least once! You’ll be introduced to the wonderful world of glory holes!” Bo Peep promoted near the restroom’s door, peeking outside occasionally.

“Button, oh my dear button Sm-ash, I thought you were more mature than that! Don’t you want to discover more about yourself and find the absolute relief you could never imagine before? I mean I could leave if you want, but that so disappointing of you. I thought you were better than that, button Sm-ash.” Poh responded.

“Hey now, don’t feel peer pressured to do it. But man, that would sure do us a great favor!” Bo encouraged further.

“Okay... I’ll do it for you. B-But in exchange, I want to be friends with you. Yo-You know, since you also like video games.” Button Mash proposed before leaning closer to the hole.

“Just fucking get your dick out already!” Poh exclaimed after she sighed.

Bo Peep waited outside, peeking into the hall. Cheerilee was still in class alongside the others. Nopony heading their way to the filly’s restroom. Good. Still, she was getting rather impatient and anxious herself. It was dead silent in this restroom, and they were running out of time.

Then, it started. The pegasus heard sounds of slurping and the yelps of the young colt who was in for quite the shock. Her head lowered in shame as the sounds intensified. Her entire body was hot and sweaty, feeling the harsh gazes of all her ancestors weighing her down. “God, this is wrong... but, at least we get paid for this. Plus, it’s okay we’re whoring ourselves in an elementary school i-if it’s for the sake of saving the world. Eh... It’s just a matter of time until we get that picture, then we stop and pretend this never happened.” She justified to herself hopelessly.

Hard to pretend, for the spectacle went on for several minutes of sounds she didn’t want to hear. Her poor friend must be feeling it much worse, though. “Oh, just so you know. He’s too young for the milk yet, so don’t worry about getting splashed Poh.”

Then, Bo Peep’s blood froze when she heard clopping slowly approaching their small business. Carefully peeking outside, she saw Miss Cheerilee zeroing in on them. “Aw lawd, she’s coming!”

The slurping stopped when the sound of a foal falling on their flank echoed in the bathroom. Just in time, Poh finished him off.

“Jesus, Poh! Cheerilee’s coming! We have to keep this a secret!” Bo ran inside the stall with Button Mash in it a few seconds before the restroom’s door opened.

Miss Cheerilee poked her head in, confused. “Poh? Bo Peep? Are you still in there?”

“Yes Ma-am, we just ... feel more comfortable doing our thing together as best friends forever! BFF forever baby!” Poh quickly answered whilst saliva was still dripping from her bottom lips. She wiped it off in a hurry.

Inside her stall, Bo Peep awkwardly stared at Button Mash who appeared to be in a completely different plane of existence. His face was red hot, contorted in an expression of pure shock and pleasure, gazing in the distance with blank eyes. He was breathing hard and loudly and worst of all, the appendage was straighter than a spear. The filly certainly didn’t want to stare at that!

Bo Peep quickly covered his mouth and whispered to him. “Don’t make a sound, you idiot!”

“Bo? Are you okay?” Cheerilee asked.

“We don’t just feel comfortable when others ponies are in the restroom at the same time with us, that’s all!” Poh responded quickly.

“I’m just... having a hard time getting it out is all. I-I just wanted to get a cupcake...” Bo Peep said through clenched teeth in a hoarse voice, hoping it would be convincing enough.

“O-Oh, okay. I-If you’re feeling unwell, I can let you go home.” Cheerilee proposed gingerly.

“N-No, it’s okay. I think I’ll manage. I just... need a minute.” Bo glanced over Button Mash, who now returned to their current plane of existence, staring at her.

“Yeah! Everything is fine, it’s just that somepony out here is feeling, ‘out of this world’.” Poh said with a quick and nervous laugh.

After the kind teacher was gone, everypony breathed a sigh of relief. Bo let go of Button’s mouth. “So? How was it? Pretty cool, right?”

“Uh, I-I guess. It was... fun?” The poor colt said, still horribly confused as to what he felt for the past seven minutes.

“Indeed! Huh, by the way, you’re mom ... Is she single? Can I have her number? It’s important to have a way of communicating with our clients for satisfaction purpose. C’est pour le travail.” Poh requested with a strong and rural French accent.

“H-Huh?”

Bo wrapped a hoof around his shoulder and brought him closer. “Oh, don’t worry about it. If you want more, come ask us tomorrow again, same time, same price. Who knows, maybe next time it’ll be me hoofing out the fun time.” She said in a smooth tone.

Button’s face was at this point tomato levels of red. It was clear he was now very interested in filly’s especially them.

“You’re free to pick a favorite. But between us, you like me more, don’t cha?” Bo Peep winked. “See you tomorrow in here, gamer.”

“Oh screw you, you rag, I'm like the Dayson of dick sucking, you don’t have anything left after the Xanax. Pick me again and you’ll be sure to have a great time and access paradise at the same time.” Poh responded whilst making a cute face and closing one eyes.

Button left the restroom with a limp, much to Bo’s slight horror. Afterward, it was just the two friends in here, alone. “Sorry, looks like you’re gonna lose him to me. There’s more to this than dick sucking. I am a smooth talker. I got this boy’s dick all over your face, so I get 50/50 credit on this operation. And let me tell you, I will get this entire class over your face. As for me, I’ll be reserved to the “special” clients. So get some breath mint and practice the grapefruit technique. You’re in for a world of debauchery, Eugene.”

“Ok and tell me how you’re going to suck all of their cock. I don’t know if you ever look for hedgehog dick’s picture for ... ethical work research but his dick was about half the size of them. So I can’t wait for you trying!” Poh responded whilst defending her dick sucking competition at school.

“... But wait a minute ... Wasn’t this whole game about the first one to obtain Fluttershy sensual attention and backshoting her in the ass? Who care how much dick’s you sucked before that. Don't expect to have a 1 thousand colts goals like an Xbox success you whore.”

“Alrighty then, I’ll show you how it's done. I’ll make these foals edge and refine my art. Next day, we’re getting more clients with my smooth talking. It’s but a matter of time until we grow powerful and then, the final frontier; Fluttershy’s pussy.” Bo grinned, feeling a rush of excitement taking over her.

“Great talk. Deal my man!” Poh happily exclaimed whilst shaking hooves with Bo.

"... Can't believe we just became EDP's prodigies, man."

With the first dick ever sucked, all the oppressed groups shall prosper. Especially the most oppressed group of all; gamers!

Once the day was over, Bo Peep and Poh waited for Fluttershy to come pick them up. While they were outside, they saw Cream Heart coming to pick up Button Mash. Oh shit. This was bound to get very awkward if Button mentioned anything about the filly’s restroom. Thankfully, the colt only gave them a love-stricken look as he left with his mother.

“Crap, I think we ruined everybody’s favorite Button Mash ship. Not complaining though, we got paid for this.” Bo Peep smirked, shaking her backpack which now contained the five bits.

“I think we only started the wheels, Bo. It’s about this point where there will be some weird content on the Internet. We created an invention that we are yet to control. What have we done?” Poh said to herself whilst looking at the sky.

Bo Peep looked towards the mountain housing Canterlot. “Fuck, let’s hope we can get Jean-Augustin on our side. If he isn’t, then we are completely screwed. We’ll be left with mental scars, unable to fulfill our divine mission and worst of all, we’ll be poor whores. Unfamothable.”

“Dude, he tried to rape the inside of my mouth while intensely sucking on my tongue. It’s already over. But no way we are going to be poor. There is at least 1 pedophile or someone that love a filly a little bit too much. In the worst-case scenario, we’ll end up in prison and we’ll have to do our business for a pack of cigarettes or something.”

“No, you got it mixed up. They end up in prison, and we go to a psych ward, which would be fitting ‘cause-”

“Hi there, girls. Did you have a good day at school?”

The two fillies glanced happily at their foster mother, Fluttershy. After the weird shit and silence pact, it felt nice to see something innocent that won’t remind them of glory holes. For the yellow mare, seeing these two fillies was also much better than being stuck with Jean-Augustin for the day. At least these girls were not creepy and possibly dangerous to other ponies.

“Mother! You can’t believe how glad I am to see you. Everything at class was so sooo bad. I’m just so happy this is over!” Poh said whilst grabbing Fluttershy on her right front hoof, intensely shaking from her ‘hard labor’.

“Oh my...”

Bo Peep gave the pegasus a tired smile. “Oh, it wasn’t that bad. She’s just... exaggerating. You’d be hard pressed to hear a foal find school fun or thrilling.”

“Did you have to continually do an act of up and down with a massive quantity of glitters inside your eyes whilst executing a ‘molecule surgery type drawing’? That what I thought, you fool!”

Fluttershy chuckled. This type of banter was amusing... but also tiring to deal with on a continuous level. The day was coming to an end. She’ll bring these fillies back home, eat dinner, pop a Xanax and sleep in peace in her room. Far from Jean-Augustin and far from the adorable little imps that barged into her life. The iron gauntlet, the Great One and the archangel, that can all be solved later. Now, she just needed more rest from her trip in Canterlot.

“Alright girls, it’s time to head home.”

“Oh! Oh! What’s for dinner ma, I hope this ain’t soup again.” Poh asked while smirking.

Fluttershy smiled. “It’s much better than that! An Apple family special! They were kind enough to offer us something delicious.”

Nudging Bo’s shoulder, Poh happily responded “Hey, hope this one won’t be spiked with that weird Xanax drug thing am I right?"

“We were lucky nothing happened to us the first time we were roofied, let’s make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

“Well, like my father always told me, it’s always funnier the second time!” Poh responded.

10. Oh, yes! Behold the God Helmet! (And more business with the clients)

“So, how was your day, girls?” Fluttershy asked, taking a seat. The delicious aroma of the apple pies before her brought some ease to her mind. Jean-Augustin was away, eating with the other pets or to be more precise, in his own corner for the others were too scared to get near him.

“I-I feel ... Pretty tired, it looks like everypony was curious about my injuries and asking me some questions, like: ‘does it hurt? Is your leg good? Do you wear a wig? When will you wear a wig?’ stuff like that.” Poh responded, looking sadly at her cast.

Fluttershy leaned closer to observe the cast and smiled. “Oh! You got some of your classmates to sign it. How nice of them!”

Bo Peep grinned. “Oh, let’s not forget we also did some nice things for our classmates, didn’t we Poh?”

“Oh screw you Bo for putting it forward. I thought we would keep it safe between us ... But yeah, we did. We even got some money in return! It looks like we integrated well in Ponyville!” Poh responded.

Bo smiled to Fluttershy “I tutored some of our struggling classmates out of goodwill.” Her eyes widened as the realization came crashing down on her. “Oh, we could’ve done that instead...”

“Yeah and I did finally great in mathematics for once! I think this is the only positive things that happened to me today. Oh, and Fluttershy? I think there’s glitters in my hair ... Could you?” Poh said, pointing to her mane.

Fluttershy clapped her hooves together joyfully. She leaned towards the filly and brushed the glitter off her mane. “Goodness, you two are really nice! I’m happy you’re reaching out to help others, it’s a very important trait to have growing up.”

Jean-Augustin raised his head from his bowl. “Cooperation is the most important tool in man and pony alike for it is a gift from the almighty. Without cooperation, great things can’t be achieved.”

“Oh, um, yeah, like he said.” Fluttershy added, mildly disturbed by the dog’s very existence.

Not concentrating on the subject of the conversation, Poh violently smashed her face inside the apple pie and vigorously eating the sweet dessert. “Yo mama, that is gyatt rizz and bussin’ dawg!”

“Poh, what did we say about swearing?” Fluttershy reprimanded in a harsher tone.

“You kiss your mother with that mouth?” Bo Peep added.

“Bo, don’t interfere.”

“Haï...”

Poh then let her head rest on the table in response of her bad behavior “Sorry ma”.

After they were finished with their sweet dessert, Bo Peep pulled Jean-Augustin aside. “Hey, buddy. Imma need a bit of help with my project. You see, tomorrow’s arts and crafts and we need to craft something, logically. What I want to do, I can’t do without the archangel’s magic, so can you lend me your help?”

Jean-Augustin held a paw to his chin. “Hm, if it’s in the name of the almigh-Discord, then yes, I would bestow you my power.”

Bo Peep hoof bumped the dog. “Oh boy, you’re sure to like my invention. What it is, I won’t tell right now, you’ll find out tomorrow in class, if you can manage to avoid everypony’s gaze.”

“Huh, ma I know it’s kinda early but I feel really tired, can we go to sleep, we have an important project tomorrow and I didn’t even think of any idea yet.” Poh requested.

“Of course, I won’t stop you from getting some rest.”

“Go to sleep.” Jean-Augustin muttered to Poh.

“You too, is now time that you swallow your own words you prick. You’ll know that art is harder than you think” Poh responded to her friend with a stare of challenge and anger.

In an instant, Jean-Augustin fell unconscious, much to Bo’s amazement.

“Impressive.”

In class, Bo Peep scouted the room with her eyes, searching for any nook and cranny to hide an archangel dog. The design was already crudely drawn with her hooves, all that needed to be done now was the actual building A.K.A the hard part.

Under her desk? No, too obvious. On the ceiling fan? That’ll just break and kill somepony. Outside the classroom staring through the windows above? Oh, he was actually there, eyeballing her with great anticipation.

“Okay, Poh. Now’s the time we get to work on our project.” Bo Peep said, grinning as she put on her green tinted googles, ready to assemble the pieces.

“Well, I don’t know what to do for my project, so I guess I can team up with you. Besides that, what are you doing? You’re not doctor Octopus dude, we are in school, the only stuff we have is a crayon that is filled with boggers and glitters inside people’s eyes.” Poh responded.

Bo Peep grinned, with the goggles, it looked like she was doing a Robotnik impression. “I’m not Octopus. I’m doctor Octopussy and we have more than just these meager pieces. I got some interesting stuff here. All metal and wires.”

“Ok, first off, what a fucking shitty joke. Secondly, that’s sus. Thirdly, why didn’t you want to do a fun little project like drawing what you did last summer or stuff like that? We are supposed to get the iron gauntlet you prick.” Poh exclaimed.

Bo Peep shook her head, looking back at her schematics with her brows furrowed. “What do you take me for? A seven-year-old elementary school girl? I’m smarter and more developed than anyone here! My standard is much higher than theirs, therefore I must deliver.”

“No, I take you for my 20 years old bro that is masturbating to MLP clopfics. Just to make you remember about your failed education, you didn’t get an engineering or nuclear course so how do you expect to accomplish that? You don’t even know how to do a 50 pieces Lego set!” Poh responded.

“21 now, bitch! Focus on the schematics. What we build will be a life-changing invention for Equestria.” With her bare hooves, Bo began to assemble the pieces. The finishing touches would require Jean-Augustin's assistances. Good thing he was here too, for he would be quite useful for the next part of their bits collecting scheme.

Slowly but surely, the project was beginning to take shape in the form of a metal helmet. Following Jean-Augustin's instructions, building this thing from scratch was a cake walk, just like following a YouTube tutorial. Then, after thirty grueling minutes of assembly, the project came to fruition.

Bo Peep looked with utter admiration at her helmet, then turned to Jean-Augustin and nodded with a shit eating grin. The dog waved his paws around and sparks of electricity crawled into the helmet, charging it up like a battery.

“Here is a fraction of my power. You will need it... to cheat!”

Finally, it was done. Bo took her goggles off and chuckled. “The key to the future.”

“Okay Tony Stark, that’s great and all, but what does it do?” Poh asked her comrade.

Cheerilee came too, excited to see the two prodigies’ project. Ever since they began their work, she had their eyes on them. Compared to the other students, these two fillies were cooking something really good, something that would surpass all her expectations. “Ooh! You girls are done? Can I take a look at your invention?”

“I’ll let my friend Bo explain this invention to you, she’s the one that made the schematics and designed it!” Poh said.

Bo Peep rubbed her hooves excitedly. “This, Miss Cheerilee, is the God Helmet.”

Cheerilee giggled at the odd name. “That sounds interesting! What does it do?”

“Make us have a meeting with God?” Poh humorously said to herself.

“The God Helmet opens your mind and interacts with your brain. It sends signals through the nervous system to stimulate your senses, enhancing them.” Bo Peep confidently explained. Then, she turned to her friend and whispered. “Fuck no, it doesn’t do that. It makes ponies horny.”

“So, I guess this is kinda like the neuralink of Tesla but in an alternate universe where Elon Musk works for Pornhub. Dude I’m in!” Poh excitedly responded.

“Ooh! I’ve never heard of such an invention before! Can I try it?” Cheerilee asked.

“Well, hum actually this invention only works with fillies and colts you see? This is because of their brain that is still in development so it wouldn’t work with adult ponies. I mean, you could still try. Isn’t that right Bo?” Poh said whilst wink to her comrade.

Bo Peep looked at the archangel behind the window, motioning with her eyes for some help. “That’s not quite it. It works on adults, but with reduced effectiveness. I just need to calibrate it first before letting you have a go at the God Helmet.”

“Ok nerd.” Poh said to herself.

Jean-Augustin waved his paws around like he was performing the Snoop Dog dance. The power in the helmet thus diminished, enough to not set off any alarms.

Cheerilee dawned the helmet. Strobing lights flashed in her eyes whilst the helmet sent all sorts of signals in her brain. In a matter of seconds, she was beginning to feel a bit hot. Then, the heat really picked up and she was burning like a furnace. It was at this moment that a powerful image burned into her mind. What she saw, she wouldn’t dare mention it to anypony.

Taking off the helmet, the poor mare didn’t know she was blushing hard before the whole class.

Bo Peep stared at her in disbelief. “So, uh, d-did it work?”

“U-Um, excuse me for a moment, students. I’ll go to the restroom.” In the blink of an eye, Cheerilee rushed out the classroom. The students were all left in utter confusion but the two friends who were mortified at what they had done.

Bo blinked, sweating a bit after the embarrassing event. “Holy shit, and this is AFTER the downgrade? Damn, just how powerful did we calibrate this thing before?”

“Bo Peep, now this is the time. We need to talk about the God Helmet. Now. I think you don’t even realize about it’s true power. You saw how it turned a whole adult hot red like a tomato. How about we combine our inventions togethers. Me with the ... prostitution and yours with your gooning material we could work wonders! Let’s say, we still invite the young colts (or fillies, I have nothing wrong with that) inside the stall, then, you put the God Helmet on them and excite them, making it easier for us to do what we have to do. Maybe the ejaculation will be earlier and I won’t be obligated to deepthroat a dick for a whole five minutes.” Poh elaborated.

“I’m a visionary, Poh. I built the God Helmet for the glory hole business. Now, let’s follow Cheerilee and see how effective it truly is.” Bo Peep smirked, looking like a middle-aged pervert.

As they ran after Ms. Cherilee in direction of the restroom, they saw her hiding inside one of the stalls. The mare shut the stall, locked it and breathed heavily. The room was awkwardly silent, safe for the mare’s labored breaths. Enamored by the might of the God Helmet, the teacher’s mind was overflowing with sexual desires and fantasies.

Then, the two fillies saw the toilet brush being snatched and the rest, well, they can guess what’s happening.

“What the hay do you think you’re doing? Are you crazy dude? We are not in a Pornhub scenario like ‘milf high school teacher getting caught masturbating in school bathroom’. This is not gonna work, plus I think this is the stall I used to suck Button Smash dick. I did clean it the best I could, but this is so hard with those shitty hands feature.” Poh exclaimed.

“Ssshh, shut the fuck up!” Bo Peep hushed. “If she hears us, shit’ll get awkward fast.”

“You sneaky horny little slut.”

Jean-Augustin snuck into the fillies’ restroom, staring confused at the stall. “I see the God Helmet’s power is mighty strong. Fascinating... I will report my findings to, um, the Great On- Discord, I’ll report to him.”

Cheerilee’s grunts of pleasure turned to moans. The intensity in the stall ramped up. The fillies could hear her hooves bang up against the walls and the slurping sounds of the brush, getting oh so louder.

“What the ... do you think she’s using the toilet brush? That's my brush, she needs to find another one! That bitch.”

The pornhub video going on in the stall halted for a moment as Cheerilee began to realize she wasn’t alone. “I-Is somepony there?” She asked, her voice quivering.

“Jean-Augustin, this is your time, please help us with thy almighty celestial power! She won’t believe 2 fillies are peeping at her.” Poh requested as she poke him with her elbow.

On cue, Jean-Augustin's expression turned deathly serious. In a split-second, he was back to being a bipedal creature, lurking under the stalls.

“Oh, no... Why did you say that?” Bo Peep muttered in horror.

Checking under the stalls, Bo saw Jean-Augustin slithering towards the mare’s stalls. When he entered her stalls, the filly saw the mare banging against the walls, choking.

“God dammit, Jean-Augustin. Can’t you just use your magical powers to make her forget?” She sighed.

“No. I like to choke people.” He responded, tightening his grip on the mare. In just a few seconds, she was out cold.

“... I-I mean, after that ... fetish of yours, I don’t think she will remember about anything. Let’s just not, come back on the scene of the crime nor talk to her for a while. God damnit Jean-Augustin, why the fuck would you do that?! I feel like I’m in a really bad DnD session with a retarded that played too much Assassin’s Creed.” Poh exclaimed.

Bo Peep sighed and slid under the stall. “Do you have like, memory forgetting powers or somethin- Why is she tied up?”

Jean-Augustin gazed back, in the middle of tying up the mare. “We’re taking her hostage.”

“What? No, we’re not! Fuck, uh, back me up, Poh!”

“Huh, fuck oh fuck what could we do? Oh, I know. Let’s just pretend that we were in class and that Jean-Augustin alarmed us of her unconsciousness. We could say that she felt unwell and fall asleep on the stall.” Poh suggested.

“Or I can choke out the entire class.” Jean-Augustin earnestly proposed.

“Ga- NO! NO MORE CHOKING!” Bo Peep shouted. “I just wanna use the motherfucking God Helmet to suck dicks and get rich. I’m not here to take hostages.”

“Jean-Augustin are you familiar with the definition of insanity?” Poh responded.

Jean-Augustin finished tying up his hostage. “Alright then, I will refrain from choking anybody.”

“God damnit finally! Now, I think this is the best time to wake her up and go back to class before someone sees us like that.” Poh anxiously said whilst looking left and right.

Jean-Augustin raised an eyebrow. “Um, I believe she’s out for at least an hour. I can use my memory wiping power in the meantime to undo the effects of the God Helmet.”

“That’s one good news in a sea of bad ones.” Bo Peep said as she turned to exit the restroom.

"ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?! You didn’t use that on Ms. Cherilee? What the fuck is wrong with you fucking psychopath?” Poh furiously exclaimed.

Jean-Augustin looked away for a brief second, cracking a smile. “My deepest apologies. I will see through that no more misfortune shall come your way.”

“I’m getting the God Helmet and a dick to suck. Be right back.” Bo deadpanned, leaving the restroom.

“Careful not to fall, there is a lot of cyprin on the ground. It’s smell like stall bread or beer in here.” Poh advised.

“You’re not coming with me to be the bearer of bad news to these foals? We gotta come up with something to explain why Cheerilee’s gone for an entire fucking hour.” Bo Peep said, pointing at the stall.

“Let’s just say that your invention made her feel nauseous and she ran so fast on the restroom that she tripped and fell unconscious.” Poh suggested.

“And ruin the people’s trust in the God Helmet? We can’t blame all this on that?! You want to make dick sucking easier? Well, I gave it to you, so don’t verbally trash it or else you’ll be stuck doing vanilla glory holes for a while.”

“For crying out loud, what do you suggest then? That she just instantly combusted? That she felt sick just like that? Have you noticed that the only thing she’s been eating for all of her teacher life was a fucking apple that is sitting on her table! It’s the only option. I know the God Helmet is a good contribution for the ... prostitution, but let’s just use our rizz for that.” Poh said.

Jean-Augustin poked his head from under the stall. “Say she was choked in the restroom by a talking dog.”

“That’s a great idea to go to the psych ward. I’m not doing that. I’ll just bullshit it and say she has a bad case of indigestion.” With that, Bo Peep and Poh returned to the class to be the bearer of bad news.

Thankfully, the class seemed to have bought it... somewhat. The God Helmet and its mysterious effect did create some sceptics, but most were none the wiser. The foals resumed their art projects, but with theirs completed, the two transformed humans were ready to pick their next prey.

“So ... what do we do for next hour? I don’t really want to continue my drawing project. It’s rather pretty ugly if I do say so myself. Maybe we could walk and discover the wonder of the Ponyville city! I’m feeling pretty enthusiast to see Rarity slowly lose her sanity with me and drinking that ‘mega pint of wine’ that she’s hiding in the toilet tank” Poh suggested.

“Oh no we don’t. We’re shotgunning that fatso over there. The teacher’s pet, Truffles his name is, I believe. We will get his bits and suck his dick.” Bo Peep grinned from the ear to ear. “So, let me seduce him with all my green filly charm.”

“It is the first time that I see you with that much conviction and it’s rather pretty to see. Oh, and there was the time you decided to beat your meat so hard the first time you saw Marble Pie. Your sock was crunchier than a burnt toasted bread.” Poh commented.

“I feel so powerful doing this!” Bo admitted. “I can make them do anything I want with the power of my good looks and my sexy voice. Try it something, you’ll see it’s the greatest feeling ever.”

“I think there someone else’s who share the same opinion as you.” Poh happily said whilst looking at Jean-Augustin hiding outside the classroom. “The only difference, is that the source of his power come from his alghmity choking paws.”

Bo Peep approached Truffle with a warm smile on her face. “Oh, hey! What are you doing for your art project?”

“I’m building clay versions of the Power Ponies!” Truffle responded with great enthusiasm.

“Oh, that’s really cool! You’ve surely seen my God Helmet but frankly, I know a way to make your idea better than mine.” Bo Peep said, internally hurting herself from spewing such bile. Nothing can ever compare to the might of the God Helmet.

Truffle’s face lit up. “Really? Wow, that would be so nice! It’s the first time somepony wanted to team up with me on an art project!”

Bo inched closer to his desk with a fiery smile and a lively voice. “And you know what? I think my friend, Poh, would love to help you too! But first, we need to get in the zone!”

“The zone?”

“Yes, scientists have proven that people who can get in the zone always produces much better result! That’s how greatness is born, Truffle. We’ll show you how to get in the zone, then we’ll rock this project together! Come on, to our hideout!”

“The... fillies’ restroom? I-I'm not allowed in there, I’m a colt!”

Truffle’s objection and concern was to be expected but frankly, who could stop them from smuggling a colt in there? Cheerilee? No damn way!

As Poh was moving out to keep out the entrance of the restroom, she rolled her eyes “Amateur, I would’ve sucked 5 colts dick at that point. Just hope nopnies enter the bathroom whilst the great suckening is happening. But with that improvised hostage in one of the stalls, noponies gonna tell that to the teacher in a looong time.” Poh said to herself as she saw her companion convince the colt to come inside.

Bo Peep handed the magical device to him and opened the glorious stall for him. “Put on the God Helmet and listen to my instructions. Of course, with how much effort we put for that, you’ll have to pay us five bits. But I promise it’ll be worth the experience.”

With the five bits paid, it was time for the colt to get his first sexual experience, not knowing that in the other stall lied an unconscious Miss Cheerilee and a talking dog humping the toilet paper.

“I just hope his natural instinct won’t force him to change level and practice on real material.” Poh said to herself whilst hearing the violent dog grunting as she was guarding the restroom entrance.

“O-Ok, I’m in the stall. Uh, what do I do now?” Truffle asked nervously, dawning the God Helmet. He glanced behind him, worried by the strange banging sounds.

“So, you have the God Helmet on? Great, now look through the hole and into my eyes.” Bo Peep instructed.

Truffle did as he was instructed, feeling less worried about the grunts.

“Yeah, that’s good. Now I know this will sound strange, but trust me big boy, this is what the adults love to do. We’re about to become grownups so... let’s have some fun, shall we? Now that you see the hole, you’ll put your penis in it.”

Truffle blinked, feeling his face turning red. “W-What?”

Bo Peep winked. “Come on, don’t be shy. You’re truly blessed to have that chance. Those grownups would be throwing away so much more money just to have that.”

Finally, the colt caved and got on his hind legs. “O-Ok, here goes.”

Bo Peep tapped the stall. The signal was given. The God Helmet was kicking in full gear to streamline the process. The filly popped a couple Xanax generously offered by the archangel to help.

In Cheerilee’s stall, Jean-Augustin returned to his ancient practice of hitting his balls with a metal bar. The hits strengthened his mental fortitude, further empowering the God Helmet.

For Poh, she heard the dick sucking finally taking place. It was something else to hear the glory hole happening, with enough distance to let everything sink in. She could almost feel the air getting sucked down in the stall’s direction. Jean-Augustin's cock and balls training was adding a cacophony taste that she would dream that could’ve end. “Dear god, she’s the one and only Dayson. If she doesn’t have any cutie mark with that, I don’t know what is her secret talent.” Poh said to herself.

Then, in one magical slurp, the process was over. Truffle fell back, his face frozen in an expression of pure shock and delight, on the verge of passing out. The God Helmet deactivated at the same time, giving him some reprieve.

For Bo Peep, she wiped her mouth, feeling a little disgusted. That colt had a strange penis for sure and it was... something to taste it. We really gotta grapefruit these colts up before doing the glory hole. “So, big boy? How was it?”

“Gah...” Not much of a response, but the suffocated sound of his voice really spoke to how much he was surprised.

“Is he dead? Have you sucked his spirit down his cock?” Poh asked to her friend.

“Silly question, my man! He’s-”

“Oh shit, she’s waking up!” Jean-Augustin cried out.

Bo and Poh froze, breaking into a cold sweat.

“L-l-let's just run and let Jean-Augustin deal with this crap.” Poh whispered to Bo Peep as she was knocking on the door to warn her of the urgent situation.

“We gotta bring Truffle too! Can’t let him in this embarrassing conundrum.” Bo Peep said, crawling to the next stall to recover the colt. Truffle’s mind wasn’t entirely there, hypnotized by the glory hole experience. Chances are he wasn’t aware of the situation.

“Who cares anyway? Everyponies can be whatever gender they want. I’m sure the teacher won’t look into the next stall. Come one dude move your ass up!”. Poh nervously said.

“What the fuck are you on about? I don’t want Truffle to know Cheerilee’s being held hostage by an unhinged dog armed with a metal bar.” Bo Peep puffed, struggling to drag the colt away from the restroom.

“Do you see him? He’s in another plane of existence! You sucked the soul out of his dick. Let him be and leave for fuck's sake!” Poh exclaimed as she was seeing movement in the teacher’s stall.

“And leave a colt alone with Jean-Augustin. Fuck no!”

Suddenly, the two fillies heard the panicked groans of Cheerilee behind the stall. The mare woke up to a most disturbing scene. Tied up and gagged in a stall before a bipedal dog smashing a metal bar into his ball sack. The archangel quickly turned around to stare at her with an expression no pup could make. It was dark and serious, indecipherable in nature.

“But, uh, leaving Cheerilee with him doesn’t sound ideal either.” Bo whispered to her friend.

“Bringing him into school was a mistake in itself. We should just put the young colt in the exterior side of the restroom in one of the walls and go back to the class before Cheerliee see us and give us a D for our project.” Poh said.

“How the hell is she gonna see us? She’s being held hostage!”

Jean-Augustin stopped smacking his balls with the metal bar. His thousand-yard stare burned into the mare’s soul.

“What could we do?! It’s a fucking archangel, I’m pretty sure he was trained by the URSS or some shit. He could choke us out and violate our corpses at the same time!” Poh said as the sudden silence in the stall was making her more nervous.

Then, a loud clanging noise broke the silence, followed by the sound of a body falling to the ground. It sounded like someone whacked a pony with a frying pan.

“God dammit, Jean-Augustin! You didn’t just do that!” Bo Peep shouted.

“Holy fuck! You motherfucking Scout wannabe ... Well, if we look at the bright side, we have one problem resolved. Now we still have that colt on our hooves. Where do we put him, do you have any idea?” Poh followed.

“Meh, we’ll get him back in class, take the God Helmet off. The others won’t pay too much attention anyway, they’re busy with their project.” Bo said as she took the helmet off the colt who was slowly regaining his senses.

“Let’s just hope Jean-Augustin didn’t break that prototype with that frying pan and ruin our sexual material. Ai’ght, you enter, I don’t want to see that image of horror. Plus, that’s your machine, take responsibilities man.”

Heading back to class, Bo Peep took Truffle to his desk and sat next to him for she did promise to help with his project. She motioned for her friend to lend a helping hoof too. They got some odd stares from their classmates, but nothing beyond that. They were not suspected of any wrongdoing, which was nice. What wasn’t nice was the constant danger of leaving an unconscious mare alone with an unhinged self-proclaimed archangel created by the lord of chaos himself.

Later that day, Button Mash returned to Bo for another round of glory holes. He was somewhat scared, but excited to try it once more. And thankfully, he didn’t tell his mother what happened in school. So, five more bits to the piggybank. That made for a total of fifteen bits earned in just two days. They only needed to increase their clientele and the money will be pouring in.

With school now over, the two fillies anxiously waited for their mother to come pick them up, God Helmet in hoof. Miss Cheerilee was there at the end of the class to reassure the students, though she looked greatly troubled herself. The earth pony didn’t seem to remember anything that happened in the fillies’ restroom, thankfully. Though she would probably never return there, ever. It was, in her head, one hell of a bad trip.

The earth pony had a bandage covering the part of her head that was whacked by a metal bar. She probably thought she slipped and hit her head on the toilet. So many questions, and no answer for any of them. She gazed absent minded at the foals leaving the school, paying no mind to the two green fillies waiting at the bottom of the stairs.

“Whatever happens men, we don’t tell any of that shit. I told you I was the one that was supposed to suck dicks in this school! Look how badly it went for you, we could’ve been expelled because of you!” Poh angrily said to her friend as she was kicking rocks with her hoofs whilst meditating.

“I almost got us expelled? Tell THAT to Jean-Augustin. He’s the one who fucked our entire operation. If we are to bring him back, he’ll have to dial the chaos down. No more choking, no more hostage takeovers and no more violence. He should be a bouncer, nothing more.” Bo Peep argued, gently tapping the God Helmet.

“Well firstly, that ain’t a student that’s just a dog. In the worst-case scenario, he will be neutered or vaccinated for rabies. But you’re right, we gotta tell Fluttershy that he can’t come in with us, he’s too dangerous.” Poh continued.

Jean-Augustin walked out of a bush, looking normal for once. “I deeply apologize for my erratic and violent behavior today. I forgot to take my medication and my Xanax.”

“Jean-Augustin, I sure won’t disbelief you, as I worship you, canis lupus familiaris. But please, shut up, you liar Socrate Rambo wannabe. You almost failed everything and even making it worse. Thy impulsivity must be revoked.”

The archangel nodded in shame. “For the sake of the Gre-Discord, I will abstain from interfering in your operation, though I am much obligated to keep an eye on the wellbeing of the glory hole plan. Starting today, I will be the secretary in this underground business. I keep track of the money, the clients, the appointments and you handle the rest.”

Bo Peep rolled her eyes. “Okay then? I guess it all works out in the end or something. We make a pact of silence between us. Not a word to Fluttershy or anypony for that matter. What happened in that restroom, it’s our secret forever.”

When Fluttershy arrived, her first thoughts were on why Jean-Augustin followed them to school and then what that helmet thing was. “Oh, hello girls. How did your art project go?”

Bo Peep proudly tapped her invention. “Marvelous. We got the highest grade with our God Helmet.”

Fluttershy smiled. A wonderful sunny smile that brought some much-needed relief to these two troublemakers. “Wow, that’s wonderful. I’m glad you two are doing so well in school! Have you made any friends today?”

“Oh yeah we did. We got along pretty well with Button Mash and Truffle.”

“Indeed! I sure don’t know why but I feel more and more excited each day I see you coming in school! Did I say you’re are the best mom forever?” Said Poh whilst hugging Fluttershy front hoofs and jumping in pure excitation. “Yipee! You're the best mom ever, you’re the coolest! You’re the prettiest!”

Bo Peep shrugged and put on the God Helmet. “Anyhow, this thing isn’t just for show. I mean, it looks cool but it can do something. I can show you... at home.”

Standing before the only toilet in the cottage, Bo Peep and Poh awkwardly stared at the door, listening in to all the sounds happening in there. Fluttershy fell victim to the same curse as Cheerilee, though thankfully Jean-Augustin learned his lesson and didn’t try any funny business.

Bo Peep sighed. “I mean... what did I expect?”

Jean-Augustin nodded happily. “Tis a most wonderful invention. It will be crucial in the master plan. For that, Bo, you have the gratitude of an archangel.”

“God I sure do love to watch my parents masturbate. At home, it was something so special! Right when it happens, everyone discreetly, come out of their bedroom and hiding in the corner of the door. It sure was a family tradition. We gotta respect those you know? Without them, what are we?” Said Poh whilst looking in direction of Fluttershy bedroom, as Bo and Jean-Augustin were staring at her.

“Fuck, now I want to use the God Helmet on myself.” Bo Peep stated, dawning the mystic artefact.

“I want to use the God Helmet on you.” Jean-Augustin added.

“... What?”